ASMR The Most Boring Town in the World's Crime Unit (keyboard sounds)
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- In my hometown there was an article once a year in the local newspaper which described the absolute silliest and most unnecessary emergency hotline calls. They were so fun to read, and I always kept that idea in the back of my mind, knowing one day I would want to create something with it! Hope you enjoy this one. Btw the keyboard is the Lofree Four Seasons mechanical keyboard!
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A little note about the accent in this video for those curious- this is meant to be a mix of an east coast Canadian accent and a northern Ontario accent. It's fascinating to me getting many comments that the accent sounds both Irish and Minnesotan- because it's true! The similarities are really there. The accent in this video is definitely a mix of things, because this is a fictional town. If you like me, are fascinated by regional dialects (not that I think I'm particularly good at recreating them, I just find them interesting haha) I highly recommend looking up "cape breton accent" or "newfoundland accent" for examples. That being said, even in the single province of Newfoundland there are many many different dialects and different intensities of the accent. Even the breathing is different- many Newfoundlanders take sharp inhales at the end of certain words... This is where my family is from (and siblings still live) so I love studying these accents. Maybe one day I'll try to attempt other examples of them! 💞
That really helped me i was trying to figure it out thanks.😂❤
It’s really charming please do more of it
Omg I thought you were going for Newfoundland! I love regional dialects too, and I adore Canadian ones. ☺️
It reminds me so much of ASMRequests psychic character Avalon Devine 😁 it’s so calming
Hey ALB! Such a creative and funny video, thank you for being such an incredible creator! Quick question, which I'm sure you've addressed at some point previously, but - can you tell me where your keyboard is from? I'm obsessed!
“You’d like to report a crime, eh?” I felt the Canadian
Hehe good one
Omg you're right. For some reason it reminded me of animal crossing but it's definitely more Canadian
I read this as it played in the video and I LOLed “eyhhh”
Don’t forget to go through the Mahagennyyy doors
Yeah, you don't call a crime department to order a fucking pizza
“we promise not to redistribute your information ᵛᵉʳʸ ᵐᵘᶜʰ”
3:13
How do u guys make those small letters
@@mimimimi7019 it’s an app could fonts
Timmy? Tommy? That you guys?
I READ THAT RIGHT AS SHE WAS SAYING IT AAHAHHH
"your call is very importent, please hold" *proceeds to take three minutes to tell someone in great detail where the bathrom is*
Not even the bathroom, the water fountain 😭
@@Evergreen2219 not even! She told us where to find someone who could help us find it 🤣
@@handfulmousefly And on top of that! The water fountain is right infront of her office! So we have to find someone who will lead us all the way back to right outside her office.
Your pfp is cool👌
Is that homestuck?
ALB is so underrated. Her videos are always humorous but not overbearingly so, delicate and relaxing, her demeanour is gorgeous.
Your right, everything is subtle and a esthetic with Alb
I'm so happy that she seemed to gain around 10k subscribers after starring in the ASMR Bee Movie ♥️ she absolutely killed it. I'm sure she'll make it to a million soon enough but in the meantime, it's cool that we can appreciate that the community here is small enough to still be interactive with ALB and each other
Very elegant as well, I would say one of the most in asmr community. Her hand movements are like out of storybook, and her demeanor is amazing as well, the way she tilts her head slowly, but steadily is very captivating, also when she moves her one eyebrow is majestic.
I know right??? I've always thought the same, I've seen ASMR channels with millions of subscribers and the content is awful.
I read that as overrated and was about to lose it 😂😂
“sometimes when people find you funny, they keep it to themselves and don’t laugh. that’s been largely my experience thus far”
I snort-laughed at this part 🤣
Literally was reading this as this part came on!
Same ha ha ha ha! *starts crying*
I love this as obv there is the possibility she isn't found funny.....but sometimes people really DO keep to themselves that they find someone funny. I know for a fact. lol
YES YES YES YES YES!!! You know when she puts the monitor in the shot it’s going to be a BANGER! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I did not think I would see you here lol love your vids
Go Matty!!!!
Omg I just realized that the picture behind her must be a piece of evidence in the case of “more leaves than usual”. I’ve watched this like 9 times and it just clicked.
Good catch, sir/madam!
The Canadian accent is just... *chef's kiss*
Its soo relaxing I love it so much
Canada....everyone loves it
Its not very realistic though. I’ve never heard anyone talk like that, and my family doesn’t talk like that. It’s very thick and exaggerated. But it is relaxing.
@@Kmslolol She is Canadian though, so I’m sure she’s aware.
I love it. That accent made me do a doable take, reminded me of some folks I know from the range in Minnesota.
If you replaced your Canadian accent with a southern one, this would be the town I live in. 😆
This week’s seediest story in the police reports section of our newspaper: “Officer followed up on a horse reportedly in the road. Officer found no horse.” 🤣🤣🤣
A headline from the national newspaper of where I'm from (New Zealand) was "feral chickens left behind by former neighbour continue to terrorise neighbourhood"
@@Elowuz now THAT'S a riveting headline
@@Elowuz 😂😂 Amazing.
@@Elowuz clearly I should be reading our newspapers more often, that sounds like a good one 😂
Lmao gotta love the south 😩
Petition for Liza to get her raise in order to properly display her vintage Lil Tykes collection
I cant tell if ALB is mildly annoyed with her life or if she’s absolutely enthralled in every single case that’s presented
I think she's enthralled honestly, happy Canadian who likes her small little crime sector
I love typically “boring” things. To me they’re so interesting and calming. I would love it if you did one where you were a grandma knitting and talking about life at the nursing home. Or a mom at a book club. I adore this
This is the exact reason I work in a library. I love the quiet "boring" aspect of my job. I get so many tinglies during the day from all the ASMR triggers. Seriously best job ever. Although there are some not so boring days too. Just the other day I had to confront a guy for TP coming out of his pants. Not sanitary on the chairs you know? 😂
@@jenniferpardue16 with a librarian mom, that tp story isn't as uncommon as it should be
Pleaseeee
yessss i support this!
So strange you should say that…I worked in a nursing home for 9 years and never ever saw anyone knitting. Mostly the patients just stare into space, or watch tv, with only mealtimes to break up the mind-numbing boredom.
I like to imagine that the water fountain has some sort of weird quirk where you absolutely cannot find it without going through her instructions EXACTLY despite it being right in front of her office
SCP object
the directions to the bathroom made me more and more alert as i desperately tried to use my terribly adhd brain to remember them correctly
I gave up after she said yellow door and just watched her hair
I literally could not keep up, my mind wandered about 10x 😂😂😂
My adhd brain stops listening when someone starts to talk about directions lol, i only understood yellow door
@@eylul5728 same
SAME I get so lost omg
This should be a subgenre of true crime
I would love the choice between a brutally real story that's often tragic and depressing, and an extremely banal, inconsequential story told by your grandma that can't remember all the details but swears the security guard Rob saw it all, and if you don't believe her then you can ask him and he'll tell you that it's totally true
Have you ever seen the film "Fargo"? That is what you described 😊
Two mahægenee doors, I love it here.
ALB I mean this in the nicest way possible but why does ur delivery here remind me so much of Uncle Colm from Derry Girls
oh my GOD 😂😂😂
Omg THAT’S what it reminded me of!! I couldn’t quite place it but that’s totally it lol.
THIS IS SO NICHE BUT SO GOOD
I had too look that up, yep you're right, hilarious 😂
"I knew a fella from Ballynahinch - whose name escapes me - that was mad keen for the boiled sweets".
"Sadly, he choked to death."
"Is that an eagle? No just a plastic baeg 😌 see? Eyes like an- eagle"
My heart couldn't handle the amusing cuteness. This is probably my favorite line among all my favorite lines in the video, right next to:
"you've turned out to be quite the talker so don't hold back now" hahahahaha I love everything about this.
This is my vibe foooorrrr suuuuure-ehy 🥰
As a minnesotan its “oooo yah fer shuer” just repeat that in a mirror until youre wearing a flannel and craving a hotdish and you got it
I am a Canadian and I didn’t realize it was supposed to be a Canadian accent so I guess that means it was really good acting. 🇨🇦
She’s Canadian so her normal accent is Canadian, this is just overly Canadian which sort of gives me South Park vibes ngl (also realize isn’t the Canadian way to spell it smh)
@Cactus Jones colour and color
@Cactus Jones oh interesting, my Australian vocabulary doesn’t know this stuff lol
@Cactus Jones yeah, it’s basically the same aside from pronunciation, zed and zee are right depending on who you’re asking for example
@@victoriamorrison5454 I got the South Park vibes too! The more I watched the video the more the accent started to sound more southern to me I live in Toronto (Torono lol). But I didn’t know that there was a Canadian way to spell realize/realise. My keyboard always autocorrects it to realize. That’s pretty cool!
I’m begging you please please please do a series with this character. She’s hilarious!
I second this!
The poster of the leaves in the background with the question marks😂
Legend says if you're early enough, ALB will share her favorite pokemon with you...
Lapras!! 💗💗💗💗
@@albinwhisperland 😍😍 That is so fitting! & the legend is TRUE :D
"It's cLeAr you like to talk." She says after talking for 30 minutes unprompted Ahahahahaha
The idea that this government agency is going to sell your information (only a little) is so funny to me I can’t deal
The set, the lighting, the acting, the keyboard typing, chefs kiss.
*The Canadian accent*
This town can't be the most boring if you have yellow doors its a very bold statement.
The doors are bolder than the criminals
“And your call is extremely important to us.....PLEASE HOLD.” IM DYING OF LAUGHTER LOL
I don't know if this says a lot about me or the impact of experiencing three lockdowns, but I was *heavily* invested in the yarn mystery
Finally, an actual town where that sort of thing really doesn't happen
The hyper Canadian accent caught me off guard at first but oh my god it’s PERFECT and relaxing
_"... Unless your mother works here, in the office with me. In which case these are in fact her stairs."_ is very much my sense of humour and responses to it are usually quite underwhelming
Same ✊😤
can relate.
This feels like an older Luna Lovegood who decided the muggle world needs her ✨
I was just going to say I was getting Luna Lovegood vibes!!
All of the characters showing up to a reunion:
Harry: “so Luna what do you do?”
Luna: “I solve muggle crimes...very dangerous work...”
Yasss so accurate lol, ALB always reminds me of Luna but this is almost eerie
Why is this so accurate lol
Yes queen, luna was needed here
“Is that an eagle? No, just a plastic bag...” This character is so endearing and cute🥺🥺🥺 I hope we get more of her😳💖
I like to imagine I’ve walked in bleeding profusely, after having been mauled by raccoons
ALB: "So you're saying there are more piles of leaves than usual on your lawn than the surrounding area?"
My half-asleep brain: *sounds like a Karen-*
Anyone else getting major Orla (or any number of characters) from "Derry Girls" vibes?? 😂
so much! this screams derry girls hahaha
Oh yeah. This is Orla in 10 years lol.
"Anything that you'd like to add?"
Yes. You being criminally underpaid and haven't gotten your raise yet Lisa. That should be a level 10 urgent emergency.
As a fellow Canadian, I appreciate the accent! It’s not heard often enough! Incredible job ALB, you’re truly an ASMR master 💖
Also Canadian here; never heard anyone talk like this before. Is it common anywhere?
Lmao im canadian too
@@BoykoMix I know my Western Canadian relatives (especially those from Calgary) sound like this. And the ehs are inescapable.
@@StarlittDream I have family in Nova Scotia and Newfoundland and they talk quite similarly to this. I don’t think this type of accent is very common anymore so that could be why so few people have heard it.
@@StarlittDream no idea then, but my relatives do sound like that on my paternal side, my materal side, not as much.
No ASMR video has ever made me snort with laughter before but when you looked at the camera and said "...and it's waxing day" I lost it. SO many understated gems like that in this video... and sure enough those fascinating stories sent me off to sleep :)
"Was that an eagle?...no, just a plastic bag." That actually woke me up cause it made me chuckle. Love your accent and the acting.
Why did she remind me of Dug from Up when ALB said that, reminds me specifically when Dug says "SQUIRREL!" 😂😂😂
me: *forgets what i had for dinner yesterday*
also me: *hears the name Cliff Pantone and INSTANTLY remembers the character from Bring It On (2000)*
And Torrance Shipman 😂😂
"Cliff Pant One" 😂
GO TOROS
And Big Red the female security guard.
Along this line of thought... Eliza (I can’t tell if she actually says Eliza or just Liza) is the rl (first) name of the actress who played Missy in BiO, and Union is the rl (last) name of the girl who played Isis in the movie... Am I reading too much in to that? Yes, no... Maybe? 🤣🤣🤣
"Coffee is like the epi-pen on the emotional real estate I like to call... working here."
I just about *died* that was hilarious XD
Son, I almost died when she was directing me to that water fountain
Everybody is like “that Canadian accent”, but this sounds like my hometown in Minnesota lol 😂
Sounds like Manitoba / east coast
yeha i heard minnesotan too
@@boredalice not a single person talks like that on the east coast
@@fadedflame2537 I’m an Aussie in Canada and have been to the east coast many times. That accent is what I hear but maybe I’m off the mark lol
You betcha
They should make an ‘The office Canada’ series and include this character!
Or ‘Canada PD’ lol
And she can be pen pals with Phyllis.
The story about the string had me so intrigued there was no way i was clicking away!
Stay tuned for more string adventures 😂😂 who knows where it will lead next!
That poster in the back with leaves and question marks 😂 - such an amazing touch, like there is some grand conspiracy in this town and it all comes down to the shape of these leaves
I’m from the caribbean so usually I can never tell the difference between a Canadian and American accent, but this one is so strong and relaxing I love it 🥺
this may be my favorite roleplay that you've ever done
Thank you!! Honestly if people like this character I'm happy to bring her back, she was soooo fun to portray!
@@albinwhisperland yes plz this has quickly became one of my favourites of yours
I so very much appreciate the fact that one day you made the choice to start an asmr channel. You have no idea.
Mechanical keyboard tapping, ALB nattering on the phone, quirky humour and super quaint relaxing vibes.
Tick, tick, tick aaaaaand tick. I'm gonna love this and I haven't even started watching yet. ^_^
The real question is: *what is she typing?*
A fill out form asking her increasingly uncomfortable and detailed questions about the clients she’s on the phone with
Definitly fanfiction of some kind.
The bee movie script
Simlish
…..
I would pay money for this to become a series. Eliza the Secretary’s meandering stories plus the typing...... I would pay for another episode. ALB you want my paypal?
“How many more leaves than usual would you say are on your laaan?... Ten to twenty more leaves..” 😂😂😂. Not only is this great ASMR, but this is a riot! Haha
This should have been a character on parks and recreation 😆
She would be jerry 2.0 😂
no joke, around 8:50 when she was like "was that an eagle? :O ...no just a plastic bag", something literally flew by my window the same time she asked if there was an eagle
SPOOKY
Don't leave us in suspense - Was it an eagle?
Broooo, I was casually strolling through the comments while watching and juuust as i was reading this, the part you commented on happened. Crazy coincidence
The one dislike is from the crime unit secretary from my hometown
Edit: Um.. we don't have 100 secretaries... what am I supposed to do?
This is my favorite asmr video. I watch it so often that I practically have the whole script memorized.
Dude, same😅
when im about to fall asleep and suddenly "my vintage little tykes car collection" makes me laugh until my sides hurt
I so appreciate the lack of filler words like "uh/um"-- they're such a dealbreaker for me in ASMR! Always love a well-scripted roleplay like this ❤️
I got tingles in about two seconds. That’s how you know it’s a good one.
Also “is to have supposedly taken place on” is one of the most silly and amazing sentences ever
“Not the first report I’ve had about this situation” bruh she said that right as I noticed the piece of paper on the wall behind her with the leaves on it
I need more from this character😭
Please please please bring this character back. This video is SO good!
I like how throughout the sweater story details subtly change like first the thread was navy then later she says it's green, she followed it because she didn't have a receipt for the sweaters she had to return but then upon finding him wearing the sweater hands him the receipt for it
,,Your call is very important to us, please hold." *turns to viewer* ,,Are you thirsty?"
I’ve been binging Letterkenny like no one’s business and this just brought me right back into my obsession. That accent is just perfect.
Can Eliza also work for like the alien sightings association and take calls about alien sightings? I dunno why but she seems like she would take it very seriously and log the sighting dutifully.
Feel like I’m having a bubblegum candy floss dream ✨✨
“I felt like I was on some kind of strange birthday treasure hunt, the kind that parents design to post about online, that the birthday child ultimately dislikes due to it not being an iPad” 💀
alb is the only ASMRtist who makes me laugh while trying to sleep
I'm really quite happy to have discovered your channel... this was witty, hilarious, relaxing and overall impeccably executed - I need MORE, please! (of this character in particular)!
Wouldn’t it be fun for someone to actually take note of what she’s actually typing
That’s what I was thinking, but I don’t want to put in the work. 😂
"jsguus kks jbsbhyt hsusujks jshvrlpappdlkhuiwoye zoisiysye. Skkhhahsiuyyyy snkiagg woekmbbs" you're welcome
I work at Starbucks and this is what so many of my customers talk like 😂😂 the amounts of details they think we have time for
😂😂
Wait did she directed us to another persons cabinet to bring us to a water fountain in front of her cabinet... I love it 😂😍😂
I put it on on the background so that I can fall asleep but I can't stop laughing the story is just so funny 😂
I think I've watched this video ten times in the past day, it's the perfect ambience for studying and getting work done!! And as someone who moved from Ontario to the east coast, the accent is greatly appreciated
I'm so glad! Thanks for watching 💗💗
Her yarn/sweater story feels exactly like something out of a little kid’s mystery show
Can we just talk about the set, like I looked at the set and gradually thought of an entire story that took shape in my head surrounding the town💗
"my vintage little tykes car collection"
i know this is an asmr video, but holy cow that had me rolling.
your writing for these videos is immaculate, dont change a thing
"Look 40 degrees left of center" I lost it at that part 🤣🤣🤣
Omg I just met someone who grew up in Ontario and then moved to Cape Breton and has been there for 30+ years. This is exactly her accent.
The Ehs were right on the nose! As an Eastern Ontarian, I find it quite nice to not have somebody spout off 100 ehs in a minute.
This made me think of Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds, I think with the computer and glasses combo! Amazing video as always, ALB!
This is the most interesting thing I have seen all week, I actually wanted to know more about this town and her. "Is this where we bring our grand pianos when the notes sound wrong, Cliff"
I was waiting for the crime being reported to be like a double homicide or something 😅
I have no doubt that these next 28 mins will make up for the hour sleep lost from the clocks springing forward tonight here in the UK!⏰
Happy British Summer Time to any fellow ALB fans over here 🥰
Wait you guys do that too?!!!
@@af7521 Yes! I think daylight saving times happens on different dates in certain countries though?
Or potentially I just made that up 😅😂
@@tabatharich - That’s correct. The U.S., for example, begins daylight savings at 2:00am on the 2nd Sunday of March, whereas the U.K. begins at 1:00am on the last Sunday of March.
The little tykes car collection bit killed me. I am literally related to someone who has a collection of them and Yes they are all in their front yard. 🙈
Ang, thank you for this strong Canadian accent goodness 😭💖😭💖
The quality of the writing. The. Quality. You are so great.
Ok this is the start of a David Lynch type series. Amazing. We really need a feature film called ‘Tingles’. It would be an artistic revolution.
As a Wisconsinite, I genuinely thought this was a Midwestern accent until I read the comments 😂
Same 😂😂 I’m from Michigan and I was like Ah, the Midwest
Yup, Minnesota here and I was like ‘you betcha’
I don’t know why but this line that you say cracks me up “ Yes your call is extremely important to us Please hold” . Also I want to say hat your voice is so calming and your videos help me sleep , so thanks you for being here .
I'm lowkey disappointed that I can't stay awake through this video because I want to experience all the great jokes
“Was that an eagle?”
“No just a plastic bag”
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Her hair is always perfectly fluffed and it reminds me of clouds or cotton candy ...
I discovered you after the bee movie collaboration. I love your content ♥️
Thanks for checking my channel out after seeing that, I appreciate it! Welcome welcome 💗💗
Give Eliza Union her pay raise 😤