All of this has resonated with me so hard!! I finally came out as a trans woman last year in July and started HRT back in January of this year (2024). So far everyone that knows me that has stuck around has noticed a massive change in my emotional wellbeing. I've been accused of being "an unfeeling robot" before in life, but the same people that have said that to my face, now say that they've never seen me happier in life. Is it always rosy? Of course not, some days are more challenging than others, but the constant negativity that seemed to hang over me like thunder clouds is gone now and I have optimism for what the future will bring for the first time in my life... For context, I'll be 45 this year, but have known I was "different" since I was about 3 or 4 years old (so around 1982 - 83).
We're so happy to hear that, and thank you for sharing your comment ❤️ It's really amazing what suppressing yourself will do to your psyche, and nothing makes it more evident than when you stop doing it 😅❤️ We're rooting for you 💪💪
People haven't called me, but I did see myself as perceived as a "unfeeling robot". Fortunately, even before transition, I already worked HARD on opening myself up and showing how caring and compassionate I actually like being. Transitioning boosted it even more, I feel. And, yeah, people definitely point out I feel quite happier, even if I never considered myself particularly miserable (thankfully, my story has more indifference -> euphoria than dysphoria)
Welcome back... You were highly missed. Kindness, sense of humor, honesty, open mind are so very rare and necessary on these days ! Big hug from France from one of your ( certainly ) older followers.
I too hope that I have become a better person and partner. I am happier, that is for certain. I think I used to try very hard to be patient and tried to contain my frustrations, so people in my life cannot tell that I am more patient and slower to anger, but internally I can.
As I was sharing your account with members of my Spouses Group for partners of folks who are trans that learned about it midrelationship-it was so delightful to hear you already have fans in my group. I have dozens of graduates here in Oregon, USA (also California members were added since 2020), and having couples like you who speak openly and supportively about your relationship-it is the positive example couples who want to stay together need. Thank you.
That is so amazing to hear! We're doing this because we're happy to help any way we can, so thank you for telling us that our videos are having an impact ❤️❤️❤️
I'm queer but not trans, and I really really resonated with Jackie saying she never imagined living beyond 20, so it felt like there was nothing to live for. It's like you said something I never realized before but I felt exactly the same for so many years, never feeling like I had a future in so many aspects of my life. Thank you for making this video!
Anya "Spread my seed (har har)" Jackie "Nope!" 😂 Love you two so much. I'm a Trans Woman and six years past discovering my authentic self and I was just raving about you both to my wife and saying how amazing it is to see you online you're an inspiration both of you.
Hey! A lot of this is super relatable. I'm trans girl (amab) but I only realized it and started transitioning a lot older (40ish) and a lot more recently (a year ago) than Jackie. So I've had a lot of experience coping with living as a guy. Part of that coping was avoiding thinking about the future. Part of that coping was withdrawing from and avoiding most social situations. Now that I'm transitioning I've discovered that I love having a social life so much. Honestly, I had no idea I was missing such a big part of human experience. I coped in other ways too, unconsciously cutting out big chunks of life until I had something I could deal with. Somehow through all that I still had an optimism and I mostly liked the pieces of life which were left. But there was a lot missing. Assessing the affect of hormones on emotions is hard because there's both psychological and biochemical elements to my transition. But I think I can distinguish these a bit due to not starting hrt right away. I feel that estrogen has given me a full palette and range of emotions which feel "appropriate" to experience and help me exist in and understand the world better and more fully. As an example, I no longer feel "empty sad". If I'm sad I can have a cry and feel like it meant something, that it was, in some sense, "worth it" and helped me process the situation. This is amazing and affirming and I love it.
I'm just on my 8th month on HRT and I must say I experience very similar things that you described ^^ Before transitioning or even accepting that I am trans, I felt very dead inside, like I wasn't actually living my life but rather just watching what was happening around me, also never really having a plan of what to do with my life. Ever since I started HRT, i not only felt relieved that my body was now finally developing like I wanted it to, but I also felt a lot more like myself and just also happy overall. I felt more variety of emotions, and they also feel a lot stronger than before! (and yes I cry a lot more too, and it feels so nice and relieving to just have an easier time to express and let out my emotions). Now I even actively are trying to make my life better in other regards like developing new hobbies, taking care more of myself in terms of hygiene and I also started to gain more weight XD, so I also plan to be more active in terms of working out and getting more fit! ^w^ Can I also just say how cuuuute you two are? X3 I just can't help but smile all throughout the Videos, how cute and loving you interact with each other! And you both also look absolutely stunning! (Gonna definitely take some notes in terms of styling clothes, from you two XD) Many, many thanks for the informative and entertaining content you both make, and wish you two all the best. Much love from Germany :3 ❤❤
For the crying thing, my experience has been that it's way easier to cry, but it's not like I feel more emotion than I did before, I'm not more emotional, it's just the level it takes to cry is lowered, the bar went from "this is the saddest thing I've ever seen/heard in my life, I'm actually crying..." to "that puppy is cute, hold on, why am I crying?..." :P
I actually have a couple cis guys in my life that take testosterone, one's an older relative of mine who was embarrassed about it at first, but he told me because I was open with him on being on HRT, and we just have that kind of relationship now where we talk about these kinds of things, he's very open and proud about it now though~ The other guy is a childhood friend of mine, and he just had hormonal problems growing up during puberty, but he loves to work out and is basically a body builder, he's a cool guy who would post about going to pride, so I always felt comfortable coming out to him when I did, he was basically my best friend during our elementary school years~ I also have my own experience going practically off of HRT where I lowered my dosage to as low as I could, just to see how far I can go because I started HRT basically paranoid about missing a day or two and wanting to be on the highest dose I could, but lowering my dose I figured out I can go pretty much off of it entirely and be fine, not okay, but fine, and the positives I remember were getting my energy and strength back, and the parts I have sort of getting rejuvenated so to speak... lol... not that I want them, just that it's nice that they're healthy I guess... xD Anyway, my perspective on testosterone has changed from "I don't want anything to do with it, it'll destroy my body further" to "Wow, if I stop taking these meds, I get stronger and it's kinda like having a super power... too bad they make me depressed about my appearance, I wanna stay cute~" xD
Hi, I asked those question on instagram, thank you for answering them. I'm a 20y female, and my girlfriend is transitioning. We met when we were 13, and I always saw that she was never a men. But I'm scared, looks like I'm in a nightmare just because I overthink a lot that she is going to leave me or that I'm not able to be at her side. Actually, what scares me the most is that she changed to be sooooo girly, extremely. Such a great change in her behaving and clothes is a bit odd to me, but I don't want to leave her, I think I can get used to it slowly. I'm trying to stay by her side, I love her so so so much, I hope we can do it together. Thank you for all the videos, I hope there is more. Sorry for the mistakes, I'm not good at writing in english. And thanks for the book Anya, I'm reading it at this moment 😊
So glad to see you back! 😊 this really brightened up my day, there’s almost nothing that brings me more joy than hearing a fellow trans person share such a heartwarming story!
Thank you both so very much for making this video..😊 My spouse still doesn't understand that who I am was always there, but the expression of my WHOLE SELF wasn't freely/safely forthcoming until after the decision was made to live for myself, and not solely for others...😊
Thank you both for the video, it is wonderful to see the two of you, I love you both and relate to Jackie especially strongly. I don't tell my story much, but like Jackie I was born genetically male, but I knew there was a girl in there from the beginning. I've not transitioned medically (hormones, surgery, etc.), but after allowing myself to be seen as a boy for years, more or less, I HAD to tell my family and friends and acquaintances that I'm a girl inside. I live and dress as a girl now, and though some might call that cross-dressing, I WAS a cross-dresser when I wore boy clothes, and I knew it, and hated it. My parents don't embrace my coming out, but some of my family accepts me, and most of all, I'm accepting myself more, and more happy. I think of hormones daily at times, but am not convinced I'll get the outcome I want, and maybe, I just lack the courage. But I LOVE BEING A GIRL; even SAYING IT takes courage for me. I LOVE being MYSELF. Thanks to you both, and blessings to you both.
Hey, I'm trans MtF and I'm medically transitioning with hormones... I went through that period that so many trans people do... of trying to decide whether I was "trans enough" to transition medically. Like you, I worried about it every day. For myself I came to the conclusion that there can be no definitive answer to "do I *need* this", other than that "I really really want to and will forever regret not trying hormones". So I decided to do this experiment on myself. My experience with hormones so far (7 months in) has been nothing but positive and affirming. Both outwardly and inwardly. If you're anxious about outward changes, you should also consider the inner experience of your mind and body. Do some research of how other trans people experience those inner changes. It can be different for different people, but, for example, it's common to feel a fuller range of emotions and for me this has been amazing and affirming. When previously I would often just feel "emotionally empty"; uncomfortably blank, I now have a whole emotional palette to draw from and use to understand my experiences. To me it sounds like - if you think about it every day - that it's taking up a huge amount of mental space and you really do want to try this for yourself. If that's true, I'd encourage you to try it. Do your own personal experiment and learn about whether it's for you or not. Hormones are slow, you'll have months (at least!) to decide whether this component of transition is good for you or not. Give it time (did I say hormones are slow?) but there's no shame in stopping if you decide it's not for you. You are in control and can stop at any point, it doesn't invalidate your identity. Good luck!
I'm transfeminine, lesbian, 52, & english but have moved to Scotland as I've always had an issue with the racism, privilege & class etc bigotry, hatred, complicity & considerable negative(Scotland is better in general but still suffers from that also) side to society & the culture. My changes have been mainly grounded in as yourself not having to imagine yourself moving towards some kind of soulless, generic old cis guy mode (not that this is perhaps much different than any non conformist or queer cis persons experience)feeling more comfortable in my own body & being able to dress & express myself as I see myself & for me; feeling empowered realising I'm validatedin my feelings that my femininity/womanhood eminates from my soul, mind, character & identity primarily & gaining huge insight into how that relates to what I'm looking for in another person & how to communicate to others what I'm about, have to offer perhaps & what to expect communication/intimacy wise with me & an empowering sense of the ongoing & constantly changing/expanding nature of that (very calming/reassuring & at times challenging but from a strong place of trust & confidence in my instincts, perception & choices) A powerful & profound thing that I've found is I now find it easier/have more insight & be able to filter what may be other issues you have with being neuro divergent etc, whether or not the people you come across are worthy of any level of your trust & respect(sadly not in a lot of cases apart from abasic respect for other humans lol) Tragically what you're left with is an exposure & clear understanding of narcissistic behaviour, thought & culture There's no end to the types & amounts of people that will "throw you under the bus"/"pull the ladder up behind them" but this triggers less disillusionment & depression than before due to a heightened perception & awareness of the capabilities of people but also the lows some will sink to & is more effective for not being blindsided or overwhelmed by privilaged, toxic, narcissistic & even in some cases sadistic sociopathic behaviour & responces to trauma Disappointingly my transition has also exposed the failings & if there is a malevolent state of being/influence I'd suggest it is CONFORMITY & privilege driven & one of the main toxic influences on the human condition, I don't personally believe in "the devil" as I find that lets the people & situations responsible for manifesting that out of scrutiny, is simplistic philosophically & can taint, reinforce or aggravate conditions/situations etc It's been a positive for me younger queers & people having improved lives & opportunities as finding that attraction is empowering & flattering/humbling but that also exposes how weak, unaware, toxic & damaged that women & people closer to my age are & how little they have to offer/have respect for/understand & the reality of 20+ years age gaps isn't particularly compatible with my needs as I require affection, emotional intelligence & love whereas younger folk understandably in general seem more into intimacy & company & lack the depth I need perhaps
I'm about 8 months on E and transitioning later in life (47) so I haven't had the physical transformation that I dreamt about but going on E was the best decision Ive ever made. My constant depression and anxiety just sort of faded away inva manner of weeks and I suddenly felt like a new person. 😅 I lovd your videos and your obvious love for each other warms my heart. ❤
Thanks for sharing more of your stories . You two are some of my favorite RUclipsrs and I rly appreciate your content 😊 I share in that transition changed me quite a bit, but more so just opened the box that was me. I became more of myself and am so much more open as a person. I see a future and I care about myself, where in the past I did not see personal growth as something that ever could happen, I felt stuck/trapped. I also have been with my partner through transition. She is the kindest and most caring person. She is also so amazing and passionate about her life and job. I’m so happy to go through life with my favorite person. Thanks for being representation of couples talking through and navigating transition together. Always wish u two the best!
I can't say it's changed me much at all personality-wise, feelings-wise nor mental health-wise (and it has been well over half a decade by this point), but....I look far better in a blazer and tie now! It's probably accurate to say that the change suits me better, even if it hasn't gained much else.
Hi! Third time listener, first time commenter. I love your videos thus far and all the warm, positive energy the two of you radiate. I've felt really hopeful after each of the videos I've watched. What you said about feeling like you have future really resonated with me. I'm older and am finally starting to come to terms with who I am. I've got a lot of ducks to get into line before I can start HRT and began moving forward, but even just admitting finally who I am helped me become more geared towards a future. For better or worse, I'd always been fairly highly functioning in my denial, but in retrospect, I'd done this by burying myself in the present and letting the future just happen to me without really working for it. Now things I'd been thinking of doing, like going back to school to get further education and getting a driver's license (in a foreign country, in a foreign language) are things I'm actually doing. I finally feel like I have a future and a life to get in order. It's manifested in small ways as well, like taking better care of myself and wanting to have a social life. I'm even set to start getting the hair lasered off my face. It might not be hormones, but my facial hair is a huge source of dysphoria and discomfort, so for me it's a big win. Anyway, I've babbled on way too much. Thanks again for your videos! The two of you are an absolute delight and I'm looking forward to watching more of your content.
You two are such beautiful people and you give me so much hope for my future. I have just started my trans journey and seeing the love and support that you two have just makes me hopefully for the future
I never quite saw me as a man - I was honest with some people and it felt like just a title to make things easier. As I transitioned, I found out I had quite the feeling for heing a woman. I wanted to be one. I had some undescribable discomfort from being shirtless for the longest time. Always blamed me on my dad fat shaming me when I ever so slighly chubby at around 14. Now, even if I still have the same prominent belly I used to get (and it even disappeared as I got older and even skinnier), I love showing my body, as much as I still need to get used to the feeling, and to a bit of embarrassment. I used to not care about clothes, or my appearance in general. First time I let my hair grow was so it became a fluffy ball that didn't need brushing. Now, I love rocking my well-brushed curls, which take quite an effort every morning, and love experimenting with clothes and my appearance. I still go for more masc-leaning fem clothes, but, damn, those were the ones I loved when my friends wore. I definitely got a boost in my multi-year journey of opening myself up now that I'm so much more confident in my image, in who I am, and proud of it. Romantically, I always struggled a lot with getting involved with someone, but I met my current (and first) gf just as I was starting transitioning She has been amazingly supportive and has helped me explore my tender so much more. I love seeing myself as a lesbian (/sapphic-leaning bi woman), and having a lesbian relationship with her. It, for some reason, just feels SO right.
I have made friends, let certain folk find out about my choice of Feminine identity❤ Crying does release the over-load of emotions or do we down in a lake of tears like Alice In Wonderland❤ Petra❤😊
Have been self medicating hrt for 3 and a half years now but only really 2 years because original hormones were fake. Life has got much better and can see a future, have been trying to gain more weight because want bigger chest and curves.
I really wish there was a cheaper and faster way to get hrt in england, if i want to go nhs i wont get them until im well in my 30s (im 21 now) and if i go private it cost so so much (DIY is scary and if i was gonna do that i would need a freind who already knows the ropes which i dont have)
Åh hvor ville jeg ønske at jeg kunne dele jeres video med min elskede kone. Har ledt med lys og lygte efter dansksproget materiale som perspektiverer evt potentielt positive sider af at fortsætte vores liv sammen efter min transition (MtF), men hendes engelskkundskaber ville desværre ikke giver hende det fulde udbytte af jeres ligefremme fortælling og skønne oplevelser ❤
That's totally ok! We had some twisted cords with the lav mic, so there was no salvaging the audio after recording :c We'll try our best to keep it from happening, and otherwise we'll try to give a little disclaimer ❤️
"numb, a little sad" - absolutely identified with feeling this way
When you describe your life before transition, it basically my life rn :(
Then take note that things can change for the better ❤️❤️❤️
“I went from being cynical to beinf optimistic because something that became avavilable to me was a future”. - Poignant!
All of this has resonated with me so hard!!
I finally came out as a trans woman last year in July and started HRT back in January of this year (2024).
So far everyone that knows me that has stuck around has noticed a massive change in my emotional wellbeing.
I've been accused of being "an unfeeling robot" before in life, but the same people that have said that to my face, now say that they've never seen me happier in life.
Is it always rosy?
Of course not, some days are more challenging than others, but the constant negativity that seemed to hang over me like thunder clouds is gone now and I have optimism for what the future will bring for the first time in my life...
For context, I'll be 45 this year, but have known I was "different" since I was about 3 or 4 years old (so around 1982 - 83).
We're so happy to hear that, and thank you for sharing your comment ❤️
It's really amazing what suppressing yourself will do to your psyche, and nothing makes it more evident than when you stop doing it 😅❤️
We're rooting for you 💪💪
People haven't called me, but I did see myself as perceived as a "unfeeling robot". Fortunately, even before transition, I already worked HARD on opening myself up and showing how caring and compassionate I actually like being. Transitioning boosted it even more, I feel. And, yeah, people definitely point out I feel quite happier, even if I never considered myself particularly miserable (thankfully, my story has more indifference -> euphoria than dysphoria)
Welcome back... You were highly missed. Kindness, sense of humor, honesty, open mind are so very rare and necessary on these days ! Big hug from France from one of your ( certainly ) older followers.
Your reasoning for transitioning is so relatable to me, other than me being much older. ❤😊
I too hope that I have become a better person and partner. I am happier, that is for certain. I think I used to try very hard to be patient and tried to contain my frustrations, so people in my life cannot tell that I am more patient and slower to anger, but internally I can.
And that for sure counts for a lot ❤️ this is beautiful to hear. Thank you for sharing!
As I was sharing your account with members of my Spouses Group for partners of folks who are trans that learned about it midrelationship-it was so delightful to hear you already have fans in my group. I have dozens of graduates here in Oregon, USA (also California members were added since 2020), and having couples like you who speak openly and supportively about your relationship-it is the positive example couples who want to stay together need. Thank you.
That is so amazing to hear! We're doing this because we're happy to help any way we can, so thank you for telling us that our videos are having an impact ❤️❤️❤️
I'm queer but not trans, and I really really resonated with Jackie saying she never imagined living beyond 20, so it felt like there was nothing to live for. It's like you said something I never realized before but I felt exactly the same for so many years, never feeling like I had a future in so many aspects of my life. Thank you for making this video!
the bolo tie is so cute Anya!!
Anya "Spread my seed (har har)" Jackie "Nope!" 😂
Love you two so much. I'm a Trans Woman and six years past discovering my authentic self and I was just raving about you both to my wife and saying how amazing it is to see you online you're an inspiration both of you.
Haha, we try (try!) to keep it classy, but we always fail 😂❤️
Thank you so much for watching our stuff ❤️
Hey! A lot of this is super relatable. I'm trans girl (amab) but I only realized it and started transitioning a lot older (40ish) and a lot more recently (a year ago) than Jackie. So I've had a lot of experience coping with living as a guy.
Part of that coping was avoiding thinking about the future. Part of that coping was withdrawing from and avoiding most social situations. Now that I'm transitioning I've discovered that I love having a social life so much. Honestly, I had no idea I was missing such a big part of human experience. I coped in other ways too, unconsciously cutting out big chunks of life until I had something I could deal with. Somehow through all that I still had an optimism and I mostly liked the pieces of life which were left. But there was a lot missing.
Assessing the affect of hormones on emotions is hard because there's both psychological and biochemical elements to my transition. But I think I can distinguish these a bit due to not starting hrt right away. I feel that estrogen has given me a full palette and range of emotions which feel "appropriate" to experience and help me exist in and understand the world better and more fully. As an example, I no longer feel "empty sad". If I'm sad I can have a cry and feel like it meant something, that it was, in some sense, "worth it" and helped me process the situation. This is amazing and affirming and I love it.
I'm just on my 8th month on HRT and I must say I experience very similar things that you described ^^
Before transitioning or even accepting that I am trans, I felt very dead inside, like I wasn't actually living my life but rather just watching what was happening around me, also never really having a plan of what to do with my life. Ever since I started HRT, i not only felt relieved that my body was now finally developing like I wanted it to, but I also felt a lot more like myself and just also happy overall. I felt more variety of emotions, and they also feel a lot stronger than before! (and yes I cry a lot more too, and it feels so nice and relieving to just have an easier time to express and let out my emotions). Now I even actively are trying to make my life better in other regards like developing new hobbies, taking care more of myself in terms of hygiene and I also started to gain more weight XD, so I also plan to be more active in terms of working out and getting more fit! ^w^
Can I also just say how cuuuute you two are? X3 I just can't help but smile all throughout the Videos, how cute and loving you interact with each other! And you both also look absolutely stunning! (Gonna definitely take some notes in terms of styling clothes, from you two XD)
Many, many thanks for the informative and entertaining content you both make, and wish you two all the best. Much love from Germany :3 ❤❤
Great to see a new video of you two lovely ladies 😊 you were quiet for a few months.
I sometimes do a lot of feminine clothes shopping and some thinking dears❤ Lol from Petra❤
For the crying thing, my experience has been that it's way easier to cry, but it's not like I feel more emotion than I did before, I'm not more emotional, it's just the level it takes to cry is lowered, the bar went from "this is the saddest thing I've ever seen/heard in my life, I'm actually crying..." to "that puppy is cute, hold on, why am I crying?..." :P
I actually have a couple cis guys in my life that take testosterone, one's an older relative of mine who was embarrassed about it at first, but he told me because I was open with him on being on HRT, and we just have that kind of relationship now where we talk about these kinds of things, he's very open and proud about it now though~ The other guy is a childhood friend of mine, and he just had hormonal problems growing up during puberty, but he loves to work out and is basically a body builder, he's a cool guy who would post about going to pride, so I always felt comfortable coming out to him when I did, he was basically my best friend during our elementary school years~ I also have my own experience going practically off of HRT where I lowered my dosage to as low as I could, just to see how far I can go because I started HRT basically paranoid about missing a day or two and wanting to be on the highest dose I could, but lowering my dose I figured out I can go pretty much off of it entirely and be fine, not okay, but fine, and the positives I remember were getting my energy and strength back, and the parts I have sort of getting rejuvenated so to speak... lol... not that I want them, just that it's nice that they're healthy I guess... xD
Anyway, my perspective on testosterone has changed from "I don't want anything to do with it, it'll destroy my body further" to "Wow, if I stop taking these meds, I get stronger and it's kinda like having a super power... too bad they make me depressed about my appearance, I wanna stay cute~" xD
That's such a beautiful experience tbh :') thank you for sharing ❤️✨️
Hi, I asked those question on instagram, thank you for answering them.
I'm a 20y female, and my girlfriend is transitioning. We met when we were 13, and I always saw that she was never a men.
But I'm scared, looks like I'm in a nightmare just because I overthink a lot that she is going to leave me or that I'm not able to be at her side.
Actually, what scares me the most is that she changed to be sooooo girly, extremely. Such a great change in her behaving and clothes is a bit odd to me, but I don't want to leave her, I think I can get used to it slowly.
I'm trying to stay by her side, I love her so so so much, I hope we can do it together.
Thank you for all the videos, I hope there is more.
Sorry for the mistakes, I'm not good at writing in english.
And thanks for the book Anya, I'm reading it at this moment 😊
So glad to see you back! 😊 this really brightened up my day, there’s almost nothing that brings me more joy than hearing a fellow trans person share such a heartwarming story!
Thank you both so very much for making this video..😊 My spouse still doesn't understand that who I am was always there, but the expression of my WHOLE SELF wasn't freely/safely forthcoming until after the decision was made to live for myself, and not solely for others...😊
Thank you both for the video, it is wonderful to see the two of you, I love you both and relate to Jackie especially strongly. I don't tell my story much, but like Jackie I was born genetically male, but I knew there was a girl in there from the beginning. I've not transitioned medically (hormones, surgery, etc.), but after allowing myself to be seen as a boy for years, more or less, I HAD to tell my family and friends and acquaintances that I'm a girl inside. I live and dress as a girl now, and though some might call that cross-dressing, I WAS a cross-dresser when I wore boy clothes, and I knew it, and hated it. My parents don't embrace my coming out, but some of my family accepts me, and most of all, I'm accepting myself more, and more happy. I think of hormones daily at times, but am not convinced I'll get the outcome I want, and maybe, I just lack the courage. But I LOVE BEING A GIRL; even SAYING IT takes courage for me. I LOVE being MYSELF. Thanks to you both, and blessings to you both.
Hey, I'm trans MtF and I'm medically transitioning with hormones... I went through that period that so many trans people do... of trying to decide whether I was "trans enough" to transition medically. Like you, I worried about it every day. For myself I came to the conclusion that there can be no definitive answer to "do I *need* this", other than that "I really really want to and will forever regret not trying hormones". So I decided to do this experiment on myself.
My experience with hormones so far (7 months in) has been nothing but positive and affirming. Both outwardly and inwardly. If you're anxious about outward changes, you should also consider the inner experience of your mind and body. Do some research of how other trans people experience those inner changes. It can be different for different people, but, for example, it's common to feel a fuller range of emotions and for me this has been amazing and affirming. When previously I would often just feel "emotionally empty"; uncomfortably blank, I now have a whole emotional palette to draw from and use to understand my experiences.
To me it sounds like - if you think about it every day - that it's taking up a huge amount of mental space and you really do want to try this for yourself. If that's true, I'd encourage you to try it. Do your own personal experiment and learn about whether it's for you or not. Hormones are slow, you'll have months (at least!) to decide whether this component of transition is good for you or not. Give it time (did I say hormones are slow?) but there's no shame in stopping if you decide it's not for you. You are in control and can stop at any point, it doesn't invalidate your identity.
Good luck!
@@c42f Thanks for sharing, for ALL of us who are in my place of considering changing positively--however that plays out.
I'm transfeminine, lesbian, 52, & english but have moved to Scotland as I've always had an issue with the racism, privilege & class etc bigotry, hatred, complicity & considerable negative(Scotland is better in general but still suffers from that also) side to society & the culture.
My changes have been mainly grounded in as yourself not having to imagine yourself moving towards some kind of soulless, generic old cis guy mode (not that this is perhaps much different than any non conformist or queer cis persons experience)feeling more comfortable in my own body & being able to dress & express myself as I see myself & for me; feeling empowered realising I'm validatedin my feelings that my femininity/womanhood eminates from my soul, mind, character & identity primarily & gaining huge insight into how that relates to what I'm looking for in another person & how to communicate to others what I'm about, have to offer perhaps & what to expect communication/intimacy wise with me & an empowering sense of the ongoing & constantly changing/expanding nature of that (very calming/reassuring & at times challenging but from a strong place of trust & confidence in my instincts, perception & choices)
A powerful & profound thing that I've found is I now find it easier/have more insight & be able to filter what may be other issues you have with being neuro divergent etc, whether or not the people you come across are worthy of any level of your trust & respect(sadly not in a lot of cases apart from abasic respect for other humans lol)
Tragically what you're left with is an exposure & clear understanding of narcissistic behaviour, thought & culture
There's no end to the types & amounts of people that will "throw you under the bus"/"pull the ladder up behind them" but this triggers less disillusionment & depression than before due to a heightened perception & awareness of the capabilities of people but also the lows some will sink to & is more effective for not being blindsided or overwhelmed by privilaged, toxic, narcissistic & even in some cases sadistic sociopathic behaviour & responces to trauma
Disappointingly my transition has also exposed the failings & if there is a malevolent state of being/influence I'd suggest it is CONFORMITY & privilege driven & one of the main toxic influences on the human condition, I don't personally believe in "the devil" as I find that lets the people & situations responsible for manifesting that out of scrutiny, is simplistic philosophically & can taint, reinforce or aggravate conditions/situations etc
It's been a positive for me younger queers & people having improved lives & opportunities as finding that attraction is empowering & flattering/humbling but that also exposes how weak, unaware, toxic & damaged that women & people closer to my age are & how little they have to offer/have respect for/understand & the reality of 20+ years age gaps isn't particularly compatible with my needs as I require affection, emotional intelligence & love whereas younger folk understandably in general seem more into intimacy & company & lack the depth I need perhaps
I'm about 8 months on E and transitioning later in life (47) so I haven't had the physical transformation that I dreamt about but going on E was the best decision Ive ever made. My constant depression and anxiety just sort of faded away inva manner of weeks and I suddenly felt like a new person. 😅 I lovd your videos and your obvious love for each other warms my heart. ❤
Thanks for sharing more of your stories . You two are some of my favorite RUclipsrs and I rly appreciate your content 😊
I share in that transition changed me quite a bit, but more so just opened the box that was me. I became more of myself and am so much more open as a person. I see a future and I care about myself, where in the past I did not see personal growth as something that ever could happen, I felt stuck/trapped.
I also have been with my partner through transition. She is the kindest and most caring person. She is also so amazing and passionate about her life and job. I’m so happy to go through life with my favorite person.
Thanks for being representation of couples talking through and navigating transition together.
Always wish u two the best!
You're definitely one of my favourite couples in this world. I hope to get a just as lovely relationship with someone one day.
I can't say it's changed me much at all personality-wise, feelings-wise nor mental health-wise (and it has been well over half a decade by this point), but....I look far better in a blazer and tie now! It's probably accurate to say that the change suits me better, even if it hasn't gained much else.
Yay youtube videos are back 😊
I’m glad you’re back. Missed you guys. Your transition story was very interesting 😊
Hi! Third time listener, first time commenter. I love your videos thus far and all the warm, positive energy the two of you radiate. I've felt really hopeful after each of the videos I've watched. What you said about feeling like you have future really resonated with me. I'm older and am finally starting to come to terms with who I am. I've got a lot of ducks to get into line before I can start HRT and began moving forward, but even just admitting finally who I am helped me become more geared towards a future. For better or worse, I'd always been fairly highly functioning in my denial, but in retrospect, I'd done this by burying myself in the present and letting the future just happen to me without really working for it. Now things I'd been thinking of doing, like going back to school to get further education and getting a driver's license (in a foreign country, in a foreign language) are things I'm actually doing. I finally feel like I have a future and a life to get in order. It's manifested in small ways as well, like taking better care of myself and wanting to have a social life. I'm even set to start getting the hair lasered off my face. It might not be hormones, but my facial hair is a huge source of dysphoria and discomfort, so for me it's a big win. Anyway, I've babbled on way too much. Thanks again for your videos! The two of you are an absolute delight and I'm looking forward to watching more of your content.
I so appreciate this sharing. What you express resonates on so many levels! It is wonderful to see you both!
Thanx for being back. I have missed your videos.
You are so welcome!
You two are such beautiful people and you give me so much hope for my future. I have just started my trans journey and seeing the love and support that you two have just makes me hopefully for the future
I never quite saw me as a man - I was honest with some people and it felt like just a title to make things easier. As I transitioned, I found out I had quite the feeling for heing a woman. I wanted to be one.
I had some undescribable discomfort from being shirtless for the longest time. Always blamed me on my dad fat shaming me when I ever so slighly chubby at around 14. Now, even if I still have the same prominent belly I used to get (and it even disappeared as I got older and even skinnier), I love showing my body, as much as I still need to get used to the feeling, and to a bit of embarrassment.
I used to not care about clothes, or my appearance in general. First time I let my hair grow was so it became a fluffy ball that didn't need brushing. Now, I love rocking my well-brushed curls, which take quite an effort every morning, and love experimenting with clothes and my appearance. I still go for more masc-leaning fem clothes, but, damn, those were the ones I loved when my friends wore.
I definitely got a boost in my multi-year journey of opening myself up now that I'm so much more confident in my image, in who I am, and proud of it.
Romantically, I always struggled a lot with getting involved with someone, but I met my current (and first) gf just as I was starting transitioning
She has been amazingly supportive and has helped me explore my tender so much more. I love seeing myself as a lesbian (/sapphic-leaning bi woman), and having a lesbian relationship with her. It, for some reason, just feels SO right.
Honestly, that all makes so much sense! So happy to hear you've found someone so supportive ❤️ thank you so much for sharing your perspective!
Great video. Sam o’nella music is so funny though.
Missed you! Always happy to find your wise words delivered sweetly - thank you both so much 💕
Our pleasure! It's great to be back : )
I have made friends, let certain folk find out about my choice of Feminine identity❤
Crying does release the over-load of emotions or do we down in a lake of tears like Alice In Wonderland❤
Petra❤😊
Have been self medicating hrt for 3 and a half years now but only really 2 years because original hormones were fake. Life has got much better and can see a future, have been trying to gain more weight because want bigger chest and curves.
I’m so happy to see you two back! Your content always lifts my spirits.💖✨🔥
I really wish there was a cheaper and faster way to get hrt in england, if i want to go nhs i wont get them until im well in my 30s (im 21 now) and if i go private it cost so so much (DIY is scary and if i was gonna do that i would need a freind who already knows the ropes which i dont have)
I'm desperately trying to move over to my authentic self, but I'm married with 6 children
You are amazing, thank you for your content
You're so welcome!
I date a trans woman and am AFAB/NB. I am wondering if I could email you both to ask some very personal questions that might help educate me better?
Hi ❤️
You are welcome to write to us - the email is wivesvsworld at gmail.com : )
Can't promise we can help, but we'll try 😅
did I hear "you gained 120 kilos" O_O loool
Just 20 kg in this instance 😅
Åh hvor ville jeg ønske at jeg kunne dele jeres video med min elskede kone. Har ledt med lys og lygte efter dansksproget materiale som perspektiverer evt potentielt positive sider af at fortsætte vores liv sammen efter min transition (MtF), men hendes engelskkundskaber ville desværre ikke giver hende det fulde udbytte af jeres ligefremme fortælling og skønne oplevelser ❤
Det var da en skam! Vi må prøve for eftertiden at gøre danske auto-undertekster tilgængelige på en eller anden måde 🥰
The audio is clipping and it’s hurting my ears. I love your videos, but I had to stop listening to this one
That's totally ok! We had some twisted cords with the lav mic, so there was no salvaging the audio after recording :c
We'll try our best to keep it from happening, and otherwise we'll try to give a little disclaimer ❤️