Goddammit Ze Frank I wish you were still doing your show. You’re missed. Dare I said it you’re needed. Your human humorous way of putting words to life was desperately missed last year, I suspect it will be just as missed this year. Hope you’re doing well and are happy and healthy even if not in the public eye.
When I find myself becoming destructive within my thought patterns (freaking out about stuff, feeling alone, or at odds with myself or my surroundings), I make a solid point to remind myself that if I'm to do good things in this world I MUST learn to support and love myself, first...not bicker or negate my ability to progress in goals (effectively and enthusiastically)! I've found genuinely asking myself for the help, love, and support, instead of instigating fights with myself, REALLY helps!
In this massive sea of comments, I just wanted to say that sometimes I feel like you are looking directly into my brain and voicing my exact insecurities and struggles. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and exposing the thoughts and feelings that most of us want to keep hidden. Thank you.
Dear Ze, (if you don't read this, honestly I don't care. I'm just glad I'm finally writing down those small thoughts I sometime have to myself. Anyway.) I love it when I hear someone say something about life that's fairly clever but then you start playing what they said over and over in your head, decoding every word, Until you realise how complex that person's short statement really is. This happens to me every time I watch you videos, and I love it. thanks.
Samara P-h Would you care to share some of what you got from the video? I consider myself someone who isn't particularly critical about what I consume..so when I watched this I had the vague sense that it had something to do with self awareness and idk.. the body not knowing itself? And yet I feel like there is a lot more to what he is saying! It would be great to know your thoughts on this (:
Rocking releases relaxants in your brain... I learned that working at a home for severe learning difficulties. It made a lot of sense and when you think about it, rocking chair... :)
I shake my hands, like I'm doing jazz hands, but usually at my side, like I'm shaking out sweat. It makes me look like a crazy penguin. But I just call it my nervous jazz hands.
Watching a zefrank video always make me go: "Hey, I thought of that before" and "I think about those sort of things all the time, they just seem sort of pointless for other people than myself but somehow he makes them seem like things I should be talking about all the time, because I find it really interesting to listen to even though I have thought about that myself." Then I feel there should be more videos so I can continue listening to my inner thoughts said out loud in an interesting way
"so I can tell when I'm stressed because I start doing all of these automated things to distract myself from that knot in my stomach. It's like I'm on some kind of anxiety self-soothing conveyor belt-- check email, check email, check twitter, watch tv until watching tv makes me anxious, eat something...loop loop loop" Story of my life.
"Why are you all freaked out?? Let's just see what happens!" When you reach this level of Zen, you are doing it right. It's been MY approach after 20 years of hard life. Learn 'em, Ze
I can't find the source anymore, but an article or a video online tackled this and noted that if you placed a mixture of liquid, gas, and solid in your hand, you could never separate it into its component parts. But the humble anus does just that. Amazing.
I just want to say your videos are really amazing. At first, I was overwhelmed and wasn't sure what to think, but now I'm totally certain that I am in love with all your videos. Thanks for what you bring to youtube, Ze :)
I just realised what disturbed me about his gaze. ZeFranck never blinks! It makes the videos become even more captivating, you just wanna hold eye contact like your whole life depended on it !
I started a daily vlog on may 1st to help deal with anxiety. I didn't know it turned into a daily journey on how to deal with my Mother dying. I held her hand today and at 5:15 pm she found peace. Xoxox take care of yourself.
I take a walk. Getting in a forest and listening the sounds of nature sooths me. Sometimes I even see ducks. Seeing ducks (and if I have crumbs in my pocket, feeding them) is very soothing. They just quack happily away, seeking only bread.
I met my acting coach for the semester. He reminds me of you to the nth degree. It is so magnificent and it makes me that much for excited for my performance class.
I'm both surprised and grateful that a video that began with questioning the intelligence of butts, went on to address my greatest insecurity. I can only ever be myself when I'm completely alone and, even then I sometimes struggle to figure out who I really am. This helped me realize that I'm not alone in that struggle. I'll remember this when I need it most. Thanks for that.
I find it honestly astounding that you're able to make videos when you're feeling like that, even ones answering poop and fart questions. I just get overwhelmed with a feeling that I need to run away or hide, which usually ends up with me curling up in the foetal position somewhere with something pulled over my head. I guess that is probably my self-soothing behaviour.
I feel like at the beginning of this project, Ze made a conscious effort to blink more because people made comments about him not blinking. And now we're back to no blinks. We love you blink-in or blink-out, Ze
Even though I have the same problem, I always choose to watch Ze's videos because I learn things about myself I didn't know I needed learning and it helps me grow as a person. The feeling is bittersweet but usually positive.
When I get anxious, I do a variety of things. Sometimes, I listen to the Chillout song. Sometimes I sit in a dark room and imagine I'm curled up at the bottom of the ocean, but I'm able to endure the pressure. Sometimes, I imagine my eyes are kaleidoscopes that change colors and patterns based on how they move. These confessions would freak out most people, but Ze, you seem to be a bit more understanding.
videos like this make me feel less alone. i went to bed early last night in hopes of getting some extra sleep but instead laid there for at least an hour waiting for my brain to shut off. instead of sleeping i worried about EVERYTHING. current problems, imaginary possible future ones, choices i made that may or may not even be bad, all of it. the worst part was that i KNEW how irrational that snowball thinking was, but i couldn't stop. next time, i'm getting out of bed til i'm tired.
Ze most vids I'm surprised you don't vibrate out of the chair. And as often as you mention anxiety/awkwardness/nervous self questioning you're amazingly fearless about sharing your own and seeing that helps take some of the loneliness and fear of the unknown out of mine so thanks :]
Music has always helped ease my anxieties, but a few years ago I learned that apparently vocabulary helps me as well. Just as learning the names of colors helps you be able to see them (at least according to psychological studies), learning the words associated with certain distinct ideas helps me better connect with them. Something that relieves anxiety is an anodyne. So just knowing that the music I choose is my anodyne helps me further focus on the duty of that music, and it works better.
I come back to this video often, because it really is one of the best on youtube. It always makes me laugh and feel better when i'm "all stressed out."
Ze, I used your advice with an issue I've been struggling with. I've never been good at coping with stress, and at the end of my rope I didn't know what else to do - so I wrote a letter to the part of me that was freaked out. At first I felt stupid. But then I started getting into it, and started asking myself some questions I had been avoiding. In the end, it was a super cathartic experience, and it helped me out a lot. Thanks for the (unintentional) advice! :D
ze just seems to be so ridiculously in tune with where i'm at sometimes. i'll be feel a certain crappy way or think a certain thing, then i'll jump on youtube and there'll be a video from zefrak about it. uncanny, but very helpful :)
I've always needed much more 'alone time' than most people. I'm aware of some of the reasons, but there's always something new to learn. This addressed part of the 'why' of that, phrased just differently-enough that I got some new insight.
I want to say on the topic of "being yourself", You are always yourself, you may be a person who fakes opinions and other things to fit in with a crowd, that doesn't make you not you, it makes your true self a self that does these things. If you feel like your not your true self around friends, then BE what you want your true self to be around those friends and see if they reject you. If they do then why were you friends with them? If you still want to be friends with them, then why do(continue)
This actually brings to mind something called 'energy redistribution', I read about it in a body language book some time ago. Pretty much it's when you have a lot of energy (even angry energy or sad energy) and it shows itself through tapping fingers and toes. Often it's seen when someone is impatient but it's not appropriate to appear impatient, so the impatient energy is seen through moving hands and feet. :)
Very needed. It's comforting knowing that other people have the same problems that I wish I didn't have, and that there is sort of a way to fix them :D
When I was younger, I got panic attacks before going into school. Because my mum worked there and I got them in the car before going in, she would always try to calm me down. Now even when she's not around, I whisper to myself the things that she would be saying to me at that moment and it makes me feel calmer.
Feelings are created by thoughts. But sometimes lots of thoughts happen in the background & go unnoticed. Feelings are like a barometer to let us know when our thinking is headed in the wrong direction. I highly recommend you read: You can be happy no matter what - by Richard Carlson. It sounds like a generic self help book but it's really full deep psychological principles. He identifies many common emotional pitfalls & how to avoid them. Literally everyone should read this book.
I use a thing called grounding. It grounds me in the present. I focus on my favorite watch; While taking a breath. I think about the tiny scratches on the watch face, the nicks on the silver clasp and the worn side against my skin. While I think about that it temporarily breaks my anxiety cycle. Then I can breathe and focus on moving to the next task.
There's been several awesome "Bye, Bye" songs but I really liked this one because it was a bunch of people coming together and singing it. Who's ever it is (something doesn't seem right about that grammar) nice job.
I do that anxious thing too. When I can't go to sleep I feel more comfortable when there is something in between my toes. It comes from a game I used to play when I was little. There was a tag on my blanket that I would try to find with my toes. My toes would travel along the edge of the blanket until I found the tag, and soon afterwards, I would fall asleep.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling anxious, I like to pretend I'm a superhero and my superpower is the ability to absorb anxiety from other people so that they don't have to feel the full force of their own anxieties, which means that all this anxiety isn't really mine. My superweakness is yarn. I have a toque that my grandmother knitted for me when I was in college that blocks out all that vagrant anxiety and allows me to focus on just that portion of my anxiety that actually belongs to me.
I love that Ze can start off talking about farts and poop and then go off onto self soothing and then somehow bring it back to farts and poop... I'm alarmed a little but I'm amazed.
It's going to sound weird as weird is as weird does, but I really like to just feel soft things when I'm stressed. Enjoying the sensation of touching something that I know can't hurt me, and that I don't want to hurt reminds me of the feelings I tend to like having towards humanity. It makes me feel as if those people out there who want to hurt me are just misunderstood, and that if they just shared the experience of touching something soft with me all our problems differences would resolve.
Whether or not Ze reads your comment, know that it's appreciated. Everything he says is a rationalization of life in a way that's real and human. Just know that whatever you may feel, you're never alone. Thank you for your gratitude.
Damn it Ze, I was self-soothing whilst watching the video and now I feel guilty and ashamed. I definitely like the 'laying on the floor' way of self-soothing. I do this all the time.
whenever I get anxious I make lists of things: Lists of what I need to do, lists of things that I don't need to worry about right now, lists of my favorite things, lists of good songs I haven't downloaded yet. I make a lot of lists.
It is a human's propagative to have memories of what is harder, new, and different more than what was easy. If you ask those same people to really think about it they will probably say the same thing but add, "if you try... not necessarily your hardest, you'll do fine." At least in my experience.
You've always dealt with new challenges coming your way, and you'll do the same now. Difficult doesn't mean impossible, and you're hardly the first to face these classes, and you won't be the only one needing to find your way through them. A warning doesn't have to be a discouragement. I suppose the best preparation is to remind yourself that no matter what they throw at you, you'll be able to kick its butt, and if you fail to kick butt once, you'll figure out how to fix it again later.
Haha! For self-soothing, I rock back and forth, hug pillows, pet soft stuffed animals or blankets or myself... I have stims that aren't great that I struggle with like messing with my cuticles/creating hangnails, biting cheeks, hair pulling, etc...
I never know whether I want to watch a ZeFrank video. They always tend to leave me laughing and sad at the same time. It is conflicting but it is artful how he can do that. Thanks for the laughs. Sorry about the sad.
I like the little ducky who looks like he is taking a piano lesson from the big ducky...although the big ducky seems like he/she is more interested in reading the mail than teaching the lesson. Maybe that is why little ducky is watching Ze instead of playing the piano? Or maybe he wants to give stressed Ze a hug? ::hug::
You may want to start by sharing your music with one or two trusted friends. Have fun with it and let go. Then gradually (scaled to your circumstances if an audition's coming up), expand to other groups that make you slightly more nervous. You may also find something like Toastmasters helps you learn to move past the anxiety. Most people there have been terrified of public speaking, and you learn tips for coping with that -- even if the butterflies never fully go away.
Hugging a pillow would be a good idea. I'm planning my wedding right now, and I'm a generally very anxious individual any way. The sad thing is I know that crying for no reason helps, but when I'm in an anxious situation it's usually in public, and guess who doesn't want to cry in public?
"I walk around my room continuously while biting my nails or I crouch squeezing my head repeating the words no. no. no. no. Over thinking everything. I do that till I tire myself out and eventually just let it go. Usually saying to myself "I'm not gonna think about it"
We all need "me" time. Silence, thinking for ourself time. I also don't like how we wait to fix a mental problem instead of preventing it. Let's focus on what's wrong. Yay. I vlog myself, write in multiple journals, sing music, randomly record stuff, read, watch RUclips videos, and best of all - cat naps.
I have an embarrassing habit of picking up soft fabrics (usually in the form of socks for some reason) and... *sigh* waving them around when I'm on my own. I also leg-jiggle, sway from one foot to the other, make up wild, wonderful alter-egos and scenarios in my head + put myself into scenes from my favourite books and movies. Writing them out is fucking hilarious, but when my anxiety, quirks and soothers take hold, they can consume whole days and pools of potential creative energy for me!
My usual response to anxiety is the internet. I'll listen to all my podcasts, or go Tumblr and go through 30 pages of dashboard, then go back to page 1 and start again, or go on Netflix and watch 5 episodes of Teen Wolf or something. It's soothing, but in the end just makes me more anxious due to all the time I've wasted soothing myself. When I really get anxious I let out all my cries in a torrent until they're gone, which I'll then repeat sometime the next week.
You're right Stefan. I cant let myself get in the way of what I want and where I want to be anymore, especially since I'll be leaving high school soon. I'll try to keep my ID with me at all times! thank you..
I like reading when I'm stressed, just a short story, because normally my stress is around a thing (exams or essays normally) so there is a thing I have to do I can't spend all day reading. I have "The Complete Robot" a book of Issac Asimov's short stories, they do a good job of getting me away from this world to one radically different.
If it's anxiety I'm feeling, I tend to shove my head in the soft, fluffy, cute side of the internet until the bad feeling goes away. If it's stress, I have a bad habit of just wallowing in it until the stressful situation has passed.
I only noticed recently that I do a thing when I'm stressed, just turning back and forth on a chair, my computer chair and the desk chairs at my university all do this so it's available when I'm stressed. My knees only go about 3 inches, but the motion is nice, it probably echos the feeling of being rocked as a baby.
I play with my hair. I raise my arms above my head and wrap my hair around my fingers in a very methodical way. I have a different way to play with my hair depending on which side of the head I'm playing with or what hairstyle I'm wearing. I've done it this way since I've had hair. I developed the methods almost automatically. I didn't think about it at all.
"So next time you're thinking about asking a difficult question like this, just ask your butt. Pbhpbhpbh." I almost spit my coffee on you, Ze. Do you enjoy having a stained sweater?
wish i would have saw this before having an anxiety attack yesterday after my teacher asked me if i was okay, and as i covered my mouth and nodded yes, he replied with "no ur are not" and i went crazy and he said he thinks i should see the school psychologist and that he hops i don't drop out of college because of my inability to function when i screw up. yay.
Thanks Ze, You managed to take a silly (yet profound) topic such as poops and farts, and use it as a segue into something very special and revealing about the sometimes detrimental results of self avoidance!
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Goddammit Ze Frank I wish you were still doing your show. You’re missed. Dare I said it you’re needed. Your human humorous way of putting words to life was desperately missed last year, I suspect it will be just as missed this year. Hope you’re doing well and are happy and healthy even if not in the public eye.
Your videos are my method of self-soothing.
It's crazy that you wrote that 9 years ago, and it's exactly how I feel today
When I find myself becoming destructive within my thought patterns (freaking out about stuff, feeling alone, or at odds with myself or my surroundings), I make a solid point to remind myself that if I'm to do good things in this world I MUST learn to support and love myself, first...not bicker or negate my ability to progress in goals (effectively and enthusiastically)! I've found genuinely asking myself for the help, love, and support, instead of instigating fights with myself, REALLY helps!
This is such a wise way to approach destructive thought patterns, and I love it! ❤ Thank you.
In this massive sea of comments, I just wanted to say that sometimes I feel like you are looking directly into my brain and voicing my exact insecurities and struggles. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and exposing the thoughts and feelings that most of us want to keep hidden. Thank you.
Dear Ze,
(if you don't read this, honestly I don't care. I'm just glad I'm finally writing down those small thoughts I sometime have to myself. Anyway.)
I love it when I hear someone say something about life that's fairly clever but then you start playing what they said over and over in your head, decoding every word, Until you realise how complex that person's short statement really is. This happens to me every time I watch you videos, and I love it. thanks.
Samara P-h Would you care to share some of what you got from the video? I consider myself someone who isn't particularly critical about what I consume..so when I watched this I had the vague sense that it had something to do with self awareness and idk.. the body not knowing itself? And yet I feel like there is a lot more to what he is saying! It would be great to know your thoughts on this (:
here. press this self soothing button (o)
You're a great wizard Ze
8 years later 2020, laughing my smart butt off!!!
I self-sooth by watching these videos.
I rock back and forth. I call it my Neurological Dance of Perpetual Dissatisfaction.
Rocking releases relaxants in your brain... I learned that working at a home for severe learning difficulties. It made a lot of sense and when you think about it, rocking chair... :)
That is fantastic
That name made me laugh burrito onto my laptop.
I shake my hands, like I'm doing jazz hands, but usually at my side, like I'm shaking out sweat. It makes me look like a crazy penguin. But I just call it my nervous jazz hands.
@@concernedcitizen9223 😆
Watching a zefrank video always make me go: "Hey, I thought of that before" and "I think about those sort of things all the time, they just seem sort of pointless for other people than myself but somehow he makes them seem like things I should be talking about all the time, because I find it really interesting to listen to even though I have thought about that myself." Then I feel there should be more videos so I can continue listening to my inner thoughts said out loud in an interesting way
"so I can tell when I'm stressed because I start doing all of these automated things to distract myself from that knot in my stomach. It's like I'm on some kind of anxiety self-soothing conveyor belt-- check email, check email, check twitter, watch tv until watching tv makes me anxious, eat something...loop loop loop"
Story of my life.
hamster wheel of hell!😂
"Why are you all freaked out?? Let's just see what happens!"
When you reach this level of Zen, you are doing it right.
It's been MY approach after 20 years of hard life.
Learn 'em, Ze
I can't find the source anymore, but an article or a video online tackled this and noted that if you placed a mixture of liquid, gas, and solid in your hand, you could never separate it into its component parts. But the humble anus does just that. Amazing.
i love how when youtube doesn't know what to do with my tags it recommends books on video :)
When I get stressed out, I lie down and listen to a playlist of music that usually calms me down. If that doesn't work, well... I'm screwed.
I just want to say your videos are really amazing. At first, I was overwhelmed and wasn't sure what to think, but now I'm totally certain that I am in love with all your videos. Thanks for what you bring to youtube, Ze :)
I just realised what disturbed me about his gaze. ZeFranck never blinks!
It makes the videos become even more captivating, you just wanna hold eye contact like your whole life depended on it !
Please never stop making videos. You are so wise and poetic, and I like the way you look so real and genuine.
I started a daily vlog on may 1st to help deal with anxiety. I didn't know it turned into a daily journey on how to deal with my Mother dying. I held her hand today and at 5:15 pm she found peace. Xoxox take care of yourself.
I take a walk. Getting in a forest and listening the sounds of nature sooths me. Sometimes I even see ducks. Seeing ducks (and if I have crumbs in my pocket, feeding them) is very soothing. They just quack happily away, seeking only bread.
I met my acting coach for the semester. He reminds me of you to the nth degree. It is so magnificent and it makes me that much for excited for my performance class.
I'm both surprised and grateful that a video that began with questioning the intelligence of butts, went on to address my greatest insecurity. I can only ever be myself when I'm completely alone and, even then I sometimes struggle to figure out who I really am. This helped me realize that I'm not alone in that struggle. I'll remember this when I need it most. Thanks for that.
zefrank, your videos have a magical way of coming to me at the exact times I need them. Thanks for that.
I find it honestly astounding that you're able to make videos when you're feeling like that, even ones answering poop and fart questions. I just get overwhelmed with a feeling that I need to run away or hide, which usually ends up with me curling up in the foetal position somewhere with something pulled over my head. I guess that is probably my self-soothing behaviour.
Amazing. I suffer from anxiety and to see you talk about it makes me feel less alone. I got all watery eyed.
Thank you Ze.
I feel like at the beginning of this project, Ze made a conscious effort to blink more because people made comments about him not blinking. And now we're back to no blinks. We love you blink-in or blink-out, Ze
Even though I have the same problem, I always choose to watch Ze's videos because I learn things about myself I didn't know I needed learning and it helps me grow as a person. The feeling is bittersweet but usually positive.
When I get anxious, I do a variety of things. Sometimes, I listen to the Chillout song. Sometimes I sit in a dark room and imagine I'm curled up at the bottom of the ocean, but I'm able to endure the pressure. Sometimes, I imagine my eyes are kaleidoscopes that change colors and patterns based on how they move. These confessions would freak out most people, but Ze, you seem to be a bit more understanding.
videos like this make me feel less alone. i went to bed early last night in hopes of getting some extra sleep but instead laid there for at least an hour waiting for my brain to shut off. instead of sleeping i worried about EVERYTHING. current problems, imaginary possible future ones, choices i made that may or may not even be bad, all of it. the worst part was that i KNEW how irrational that snowball thinking was, but i couldn't stop. next time, i'm getting out of bed til i'm tired.
Ze most vids I'm surprised you don't vibrate out of the chair. And as often as you mention anxiety/awkwardness/nervous self questioning you're amazingly fearless about sharing your own and seeing that helps take some of the loneliness and fear of the unknown out of mine so thanks :]
Music has always helped ease my anxieties, but a few years ago I learned that apparently vocabulary helps me as well. Just as learning the names of colors helps you be able to see them (at least according to psychological studies), learning the words associated with certain distinct ideas helps me better connect with them. Something that relieves anxiety is an anodyne. So just knowing that the music I choose is my anodyne helps me further focus on the duty of that music, and it works better.
I come back to this video often, because it really is one of the best on youtube. It always makes me laugh and feel better when i'm "all stressed out."
Ze,
I used your advice with an issue I've been struggling with. I've never been good at coping with stress, and at the end of my rope I didn't know what else to do - so I wrote a letter to the part of me that was freaked out.
At first I felt stupid. But then I started getting into it, and started asking myself some questions I had been avoiding. In the end, it was a super cathartic experience, and it helped me out a lot.
Thanks for the (unintentional) advice! :D
This is one of my favorite videos for both ze frank and stefan. Thank you. :)
ze just seems to be so ridiculously in tune with where i'm at sometimes. i'll be feel a certain crappy way or think a certain thing, then i'll jump on youtube and there'll be a video from zefrak about it. uncanny, but very helpful :)
Wow. Eye opening. This helped me get through a really tough spot. Thank you Ze.
The best part of this video was the "solving your problems" drawing at the end. It helped. Thanks.
I've always needed much more 'alone time' than most people. I'm aware of some of the reasons, but there's always something new to learn. This addressed part of the 'why' of that, phrased just differently-enough that I got some new insight.
Man, the bye bye song has to be one of the greatest things a show has done to a community.
I just love you. No matter how silly the question may be, there is some great realization in your explanation.
Anyone else wish that you were there to give Ze all the hugs he needs? (not in a creepy way though, in a, "don't be stressed, you're wonderful," way)
watching your videos, just over and over, I stress less and don't feel radically alone, there's at least 39,625 others too.
Best bye bye song EVER. Also, I really like the idea of writing to the parts of yourself that are flipping out to see what happens.
dear ze,
you make a difference. thanks for everything.
I want to say on the topic of "being yourself", You are always yourself, you may be a person who fakes opinions and other things to fit in with a crowd, that doesn't make you not you, it makes your true self a self that does these things. If you feel like your not your true self around friends, then BE what you want your true self to be around those friends and see if they reject you. If they do then why were you friends with them? If you still want to be friends with them, then why do(continue)
ze frank is like an awesome uncle that makes videos specifically for me, but he does it for everyone on the internet. thats crazy.
This actually brings to mind something called 'energy redistribution', I read about it in a body language book some time ago. Pretty much it's when you have a lot of energy (even angry energy or sad energy) and it shows itself through tapping fingers and toes. Often it's seen when someone is impatient but it's not appropriate to appear impatient, so the impatient energy is seen through moving hands and feet. :)
Very needed. It's comforting knowing that other people have the same problems that I wish I didn't have, and that there is sort of a way to fix them :D
When I was younger, I got panic attacks before going into school. Because my mum worked there and I got them in the car before going in, she would always try to calm me down. Now even when she's not around, I whisper to myself the things that she would be saying to me at that moment and it makes me feel calmer.
Stefan's bit today really affected me. I loved it, thanks for the permission to be myself in public :)
I just noticed that you almost never blink. But anyway, THANK YOU FOR THAT INTERESTING TIDBIT about autoerotic self-soothing FASCINATING!
Feelings are created by thoughts. But sometimes lots of thoughts happen in the background & go unnoticed. Feelings are like a barometer to let us know when our thinking is headed in the wrong direction. I highly recommend you read: You can be happy no matter what - by Richard Carlson. It sounds like a generic self help book but it's really full deep psychological principles. He identifies many common emotional pitfalls & how to avoid them. Literally everyone should read this book.
Huh, I always thought my arm joined the Army
I use a thing called grounding. It grounds me in the present. I focus on my favorite watch; While taking a breath. I think about the tiny scratches on the watch face, the nicks on the silver clasp and the worn side against my skin. While I think about that it temporarily breaks my anxiety cycle. Then I can breathe and focus on moving to the next task.
There's been several awesome "Bye, Bye" songs but I really liked this one because it was a bunch of people coming together and singing it. Who's ever it is (something doesn't seem right about that grammar) nice job.
I do that anxious thing too. When I can't go to sleep I feel more comfortable when there is something in between my toes. It comes from a game I used to play when I was little. There was a tag on my blanket that I would try to find with my toes. My toes would travel along the edge of the blanket until I found the tag, and soon afterwards, I would fall asleep.
Sometimes, when I'm feeling anxious, I like to pretend I'm a superhero and my superpower is the ability to absorb anxiety from other people so that they don't have to feel the full force of their own anxieties, which means that all this anxiety isn't really mine.
My superweakness is yarn.
I have a toque that my grandmother knitted for me when I was in college that blocks out all that vagrant anxiety and allows me to focus on just that portion of my anxiety that actually belongs to me.
I love that Ze can start off talking about farts and poop and then go off onto self soothing and then somehow bring it back to farts and poop... I'm alarmed a little but I'm amazed.
It's going to sound weird as weird is as weird does, but I really like to just feel soft things when I'm stressed. Enjoying the sensation of touching something that I know can't hurt me, and that I don't want to hurt reminds me of the feelings I tend to like having towards humanity. It makes me feel as if those people out there who want to hurt me are just misunderstood, and that if they just shared the experience of touching something soft with me all our problems differences would resolve.
Love that Bye-Bbye song rendition, especially the accordion.
Whether or not Ze reads your comment, know that it's appreciated. Everything he says is a rationalization of life in a way that's real and human. Just know that whatever you may feel, you're never alone. Thank you for your gratitude.
This was exactly what I needed right now. Thanks, Ze.
it works sometimes! i know that sounds crazy... but i have literally done that...
Damn it Ze, I was self-soothing whilst watching the video and now I feel guilty and ashamed.
I definitely like the 'laying on the floor' way of self-soothing. I do this all the time.
whenever I get anxious I make lists of things: Lists of what I need to do, lists of things that I don't need to worry about right now, lists of my favorite things, lists of good songs I haven't downloaded yet. I make a lot of lists.
yes - coming right up!
It is a human's propagative to have memories of what is harder, new, and different more than what was easy. If you ask those same people to really think about it they will probably say the same thing but add, "if you try... not necessarily your hardest, you'll do fine." At least in my experience.
You've always dealt with new challenges coming your way, and you'll do the same now. Difficult doesn't mean impossible, and you're hardly the first to face these classes, and you won't be the only one needing to find your way through them. A warning doesn't have to be a discouragement. I suppose the best preparation is to remind yourself that no matter what they throw at you, you'll be able to kick its butt, and if you fail to kick butt once, you'll figure out how to fix it again later.
Haha! For self-soothing, I rock back and forth, hug pillows, pet soft stuffed animals or blankets or myself... I have stims that aren't great that I struggle with like messing with my cuticles/creating hangnails, biting cheeks, hair pulling, etc...
I never know whether I want to watch a ZeFrank video. They always tend to leave me laughing and sad at the same time. It is conflicting but it is artful how he can do that. Thanks for the laughs. Sorry about the sad.
I like the little ducky who looks like he is taking a piano lesson from the big ducky...although the big ducky seems like he/she is more interested in reading the mail than teaching the lesson. Maybe that is why little ducky is watching Ze instead of playing the piano? Or maybe he wants to give stressed Ze a hug?
::hug::
You may want to start by sharing your music with one or two trusted friends. Have fun with it and let go. Then gradually (scaled to your circumstances if an audition's coming up), expand to other groups that make you slightly more nervous. You may also find something like Toastmasters helps you learn to move past the anxiety. Most people there have been terrified of public speaking, and you learn tips for coping with that -- even if the butterflies never fully go away.
Hugging a pillow would be a good idea. I'm planning my wedding right now, and I'm a generally very anxious individual any way. The sad thing is I know that crying for no reason helps, but when I'm in an anxious situation it's usually in public, and guess who doesn't want to cry in public?
"I walk around my room continuously while biting my nails or I crouch squeezing my head repeating the words no. no. no. no. Over thinking everything. I do that till I tire myself out and eventually just let it go. Usually saying to myself "I'm not gonna think about it"
RUclips is definitely my version of this. It used to be drawing until I grew up and it became stressful to be good at something.
Cry and let the tears pat your face till the soothing takes place.
We all need "me" time. Silence, thinking for ourself time. I also don't like how we wait to fix a mental problem instead of preventing it. Let's focus on what's wrong. Yay. I vlog myself, write in multiple journals, sing music, randomly record stuff, read, watch RUclips videos, and best of all - cat naps.
That self-soothing loop is my loop too.
I have an embarrassing habit of picking up soft fabrics (usually in the form of socks for some reason) and... *sigh* waving them around when I'm on my own. I also leg-jiggle, sway from one foot to the other, make up wild, wonderful alter-egos and scenarios in my head + put myself into scenes from my favourite books and movies. Writing them out is fucking hilarious, but when my anxiety, quirks and soothers take hold, they can consume whole days and pools of potential creative energy for me!
Now I just see Ze hugging a pillow in my head
My usual response to anxiety is the internet. I'll listen to all my podcasts, or go Tumblr and go through 30 pages of dashboard, then go back to page 1 and start again, or go on Netflix and watch 5 episodes of Teen Wolf or something. It's soothing, but in the end just makes me more anxious due to all the time I've wasted soothing myself. When I really get anxious I let out all my cries in a torrent until they're gone, which I'll then repeat sometime the next week.
me too :(
I thoroughly enjoyed this bye bye song :)
that bye bye song is so phenomenal
The bye bye songs have been superb lately!
You're right Stefan. I cant let myself get in the way of what I want and where I want to be anymore, especially since I'll be leaving high school soon. I'll try to keep my ID with me at all times! thank you..
This one was really good!
I like reading when I'm stressed, just a short story, because normally my stress is around a thing (exams or essays normally) so there is a thing I have to do I can't spend all day reading. I have "The Complete Robot" a book of Issac Asimov's short stories, they do a good job of getting me away from this world to one radically different.
If it's anxiety I'm feeling, I tend to shove my head in the soft, fluffy, cute side of the internet until the bad feeling goes away. If it's stress, I have a bad habit of just wallowing in it until the stressful situation has passed.
I only noticed recently that I do a thing when I'm stressed, just turning back and forth on a chair, my computer chair and the desk chairs at my university all do this so it's available when I'm stressed. My knees only go about 3 inches, but the motion is nice, it probably echos the feeling of being rocked as a baby.
Is "smart ass" a compliment?
you can always be lonely. sometimes i feel more lonely around other people than I do when i'm by myself. i can't explain it.
oh i like this!
I play with my hair. I raise my arms above my head and wrap my hair around my fingers in a very methodical way. I have a different way to play with my hair depending on which side of the head I'm playing with or what hairstyle I'm wearing. I've done it this way since I've had hair. I developed the methods almost automatically. I didn't think about it at all.
"So next time you're thinking about asking a difficult question like this, just ask your butt. Pbhpbhpbh."
I almost spit my coffee on you, Ze. Do you enjoy having a stained sweater?
wish i would have saw this before having an anxiety attack yesterday after my teacher asked me if i was okay, and as i covered my mouth and nodded yes, he replied with "no ur are not" and i went crazy and he said he thinks i should see the school psychologist and that he hops i don't drop out of college because of my inability to function when i screw up.
yay.
Beth Workman got two shout outs in the new episode. I died. I loved it.
Hahahaha oh Zefrank, your mind is a mystery to me. And yet I still find your ideas are an interesting enigma.
awesome! glad it helped!
I am jealous of your massive duck collection.
Thanks Ze,
You managed to take a silly (yet profound) topic such as poops and farts, and use it as a segue into something very special and revealing about the sometimes detrimental results of self avoidance!