A Pakistani Mother Asks... | Nouman Ali Khan (Urdu Q&A 5 - Pakistan)
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- Hardships with getting married, societal pressure, unreal expectations, comparison syndrome and losing hope. Sound relatable?
A Pakistani mother and her son approached Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan during a Q&A session at the Akhri Moujza program in Pakistan, during which they expressed their concerns about the hardships our youth face when trying to get married. They observed that some are blessed enough to find their partner during their studies, whilst others struggle for years to find someone. Why does Allah open these doors for some people, whilst others can't seem to catch a break? Here's some advice from Ustadh Nouman.
An important note from Ustadh Nouman:
Whilst I hope our viewers can find benefit from these short Q&A snippets, I wholeheartedly acknowledge from the multiple conversations I've had that this is a much deeper issue which requires honest, well-rounded discussions that are focused on practical solutions.
I do not claim to have the answers, but I hope to engage in fruitful discussions during my future trips to Pakistan, and grasp a deeper understanding of this problem from different perspectives with hopes of getting closer to a solution. Please do share your thoughts with us in the comments.
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It is amazing how he separate the deen and psychology side of human. Sometimes ppl think that the problems are caused by bad knowledge of deen, while its simply just the way you think about the problem. May Allah bless you, ustadz. 🙏🏼
The whole Deen psychology
It will still boil down to not knowing your deen well enough, reason1: comparison is a foolish thing, everyone will go through their own Qabr, their own accountability call to deeds. Reason 2, destiny is written way before you came to dunya, dua and effort betters it and increase it, Qur'an itself says, do istaghfar your rizk will increase, rains sons will increase and wealth, so comparing wouldn't help, istaghfar would shukur would, reason 3: hadith says yani gist is, momin doesn't bother him/her self with things which aren't their concern, reason 4: whosoever backbites is like eating brothers dead meat, hadith says also that when you supplicate for your brother, an angel says ameen and for you too. Reason 5: inndaz zunni abdi bihi think good there can be other reasons too. But it'll be futile commenting such long, few words can benefit more
I love to listen him. How balanced and harmoniously he replied. Islam has given shown us the reasonable and practical way of life.
Oh Nouman bro, ya sheikh ya ustadh you have no idea how much we Pakistani people need someone like you. MA SHA ALLAH
You're truly a blessing for this modern ummah, Salam to ur parents for giving us the best ustadh for this GENERATION specially in these confusing times.
Alhumdulillah lots of love & prayers for u bro oh imean ustadh😅❤❤
Im astonished How I can relate to this.i work in an office. I was subconsciously affected by this thought That there's sth wrong with me. Today after listening this, I became conscious of that thought. And understood that Allah maybe decided another way for marriage, other than my office.
See Allah has everything planned out for you!
Just like the thought you were having, It was by the will of Allah !
And this video - the answer, came to you by the will of Allah !
Have Trust in him!
He is the best of planner.
He is All-Knowing! He completely knows what thoughts you have!
He is All-Hearing! He listens to your prayers!
Again a gem.. I use to get in tears listening to you, that If I couldn't have reached out to you/ or your videos, the anxiety would have taken everything from me. May Allah be with you....
Every family always puts pressure on the kids to get married and just looks for proposals continuously.And when marriage is delayed they become so depressed.These put daughters in so much pressure.I am not able to sleep or focus on anything properly for all this.I really feel helpless.😢
Tens mat lo jo hoga jab hoga
Ap relax rehain or Allah tala per poora barosa rakhain mera Allah jo chunti ko pathar mai bhii rizq de rha us nay ap kay lie bhi bohat behtar soch rakha ho ga wo janta hai ap perashan hain us se behtar kon samajh sakta ap dua karain or yakeen rakhain ke Allah nay deri mai bhi khair rakhi ho gi
Facing same situation, May Allah bless us
Facing same situation Allah SWT hels all of us
May ALLAH swt reward u brother, we truly need sm1 like yrself to explain the Quran to our elders, has well as our young ppl, break the circle
آمین
Ameen 🧡
He's a blessing for our current and future generation of youngsters. Al hamdu lliillah! A scholar with behavioral, psychological and cultural understanding can cause huge reforms.
Ustad Nouman, if this comment ever reaches you, please do more series on this topic alone - I promise you this fitna is the root cause of all others - please make a full course on this
I agree with you. He should
Mere Gharwaale hi meri jindagi ajaab kar rakha hai😢
Mujhe toh lagta hai k Allah mere gunaho ko maaf kar dega beshak Jo v mai jaane anjaane nafs k wajah se ki hai,
Lekin mere maa baap, mere ristedaar ,mere aas parosi sab mujhe kbhi maaf kar sakega! Woh loh kbhi yeh baat Maan hi nhi rahe k I'm changed, yes undoubtedly I don't even care about their opinion about me, but kuch na kuch effects parta hai bhai .
Itna toxic people k saath society me kab tak ignore krta rahu?? Kya ajeeb maamla hai dosto!!
Want more information about this topic Sir
I am going through same situation and want to show this to my parents now
I’m
Learning now as a mother of three children the eldest being a teen, it’s so important to socialise with others to ensure your children have them social skills and are part of community
Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan is a blessing for us youth ❤️🩹, Alhamdulillah 🥹
Reflecting upon the quran with a sound heart opens the door to akhlaaq. The Messenger Muhammad Al mustafa had the best akhlaaq among the whole of humankind. ❤
Please always write Sallallahu alaihi wasallam with the name of our Prophet Hazrat Muhammad Sallallahu alaihi wasallam .
This subject is so important in our society right now. So many people are lost and angry at the way our lives are running on these types of mentalities and culture. I don’t know if I’ve missed your full talks on this subject but I request you to please make a full video or lecture on this topic. Also if you are able to come to UK and hold these talks in various cities. Very much appreciated ❤. Jazakallah x
I wonder how my life would have been if I hadn't come across Ustad Noman.
I wish every person had a mindset like you. so many problems of society would be solved.
استاد نعمان بے حد قیمتی انسان ھیں. ھمیں ایسے ھی سکالرز کی اشد ضرورت ھے اللہ آپ کو سلامت رکھے استاد جی. آپ علم کا خزانہ ھیں. جیتے رھئے.
watching romantic movies and dramas at young age is also playing big role in this problem
Allah knows how much these thoughts have haunted me till I watched this, it's so soothingly accurate I need my parents to see this video but I don't know how to show them!!
Sir please come in India and spread your knowledge our society.I am from India,west Bengal
Ma Sha Allah..
I am getting addicted to your videos Ustad e mohtram NAK ❤️✨
this guy just became one of my mentors
evcenthough i am not a muslim
May Allah reward you Norman Ali Khan and your team. Invaluable guidance !
Very very much,Allah aapko bhut agr de,Duniya or Akhirat me bhut ala agr de,Ameen
This topic is something that is needed to be addressed.Got some understanding from that:
🛑Don’t compare your life to other people’s lives.
🛑Focus on your own purpose.
🔵Our life’s purpose is not only marrying. That should not be “only “the end of cliff’s climbing purpose.
🟣Daughters are not burden.
🔘Parents should socialize more.
🟢Everyone’s timeline is different.
Also
🟢People who could not find someone in their four year educational period, does not mean they are anything less,the reason may b their focus was different at that age.
Really you have deep knowledge of Deen and solve so complex problems in a very easy and simple way.
I wish someone would have explained it so beautifully as Sir did this a decade ago
Waoo amazing I stumbled upon this ❤ so related
بہت اہم پوائنٹ کو اٹھایا سر نے exactly...need this❤
MashaAllah.Allah will give you Jaza InshaAllah..
The moment he said , " Maybe family is isolated , maybe family is not social " this is the root cause sometimes. Sir please do another session on this particular cause "daughters are not married because family is not social or maybe their priorities are different , maybe their priorities are attending religious gatherings or maybe spending time with nephews and sons, maybe watching dramas or maybe cooking or maybe playing games on phone, or maybe they gave up because out of 3 daughters 2 mentally disturbed and confused them with their demands so the third one suffers too, or maybe the 3rd one had any minor physical deficiency that's why they gave up.
Alhamdulillah. Stop comparison, and you will get a better solution, Thanks you ustadh
Ustadh...You are transforming society ❤Listening to you gives peace to my queries and mind
Amazing استاد
facts....facts.....facts...May Allah connect all of the Ummah with Qur'an...
Very important lesson here. He's totally right! May Allah bless him. Ameen!
Edit: btw, this part made me chuckle 😂😂 0:20
This is the great answer to all our society because the generation of this time want to make it's future first
Nauman Ali Khan I am becoming fan of your personality, you inspiring me alot. Thank you for educating us and guiding us right path towards Jannah.
My 1st and Most Favourite Mentor.
My favourite scholar ,so much wisdom
Really good answer at the end, parents do isolate themselves, really appreciate this video. 🎉
Oh my god this is story of my family my mother never socialised bcz of my dad not good to her and now she can't find good proposal after my dad's death and my dad was never interested in our marriage now I'm 33 and my mom says get married but how ...I never got that freedom to talk to men and now how can I marry a stranger
Try to be social and meet new people. If you click with someone, learn about their habits, and like them, you can send him a proposal. That's actually better than marrying a complete, complete stranger your mom would find you through a matchmaker. Trust me. I'm saying from my experience. I am 29 and couldn't find a better match for myself around and now my family is zabardasti arranging my wedding with a total stranger. I get really depressed about thinking about all this and this is affecting my relationship with my family. So, whenever you come across a good person yourself, give them a chance.
Marry a stranger by looking at his manners, how much his family is similar to yours and see how it goes. Don't go around shooting arrows at everybody and causing fitna
Allahamdulilah for all the resources we have now to learn smallest thing about our religion.
Islam me is par Shaadi se related ye highlighted hai ki, baalig hote hi jitna jaldi kardo to acha hai.
Hamare Grand father aur grand mother tak ye sahi practice thi ki around 12-14 yrs tak ladkiyo ki Shaadi ho jati thi, ab Education ko itna importance dete hai Shaadi bohot delay hoti, society me Zina, extra marital affairs aur bohot si kharabiya spread ho rahi hai.
Wo to hamare Mom Dad ne Education itna importance diya ke Deen ka ye Ahkam (Nikah) ko easy le liya.
Jab ke ye Hadis hai ke, Shaadi ke Baad apka Deen Complete hota hai.
Nahi young ho ya old chahiye DUNYA.
Deen jo spare time me mil gaye kafi hai, baki Rasul saw ki ummat hai, jannat to mil hi jayegi, ye soch hai.
ALLAH swt hidayat aur Amal ki taufeeq ata kare hum sab ko
I wish people should understand ke deen ne har cheez ko asan banaya tha, ham logo ne mushkil bana diya hai.
This session is so amazing...!! Ma sh Allah ♥️ jawab ik dm amazing ❤ma sh Allah
Ustad! You are really transforming the lives of many. Plz give any reference that at the time of Sahaba (R.A), they used to talk to whom they wanted to marry, under the supervision of the family. Your answer will help us more in this regard. Jzk
Be social , meet people ...in sha allah everything will be good
Maa sha Allah My Sir.
I always learn new understanding based on our islamic society
I am loving this question n answer session its Amazing may Allah reward u and your team abundantly ❤
Sahih al-Bukhari 6436
Narrated Ibn `Abbas:
I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, "If the son of Adam (the human being) had two valleys of money, he would wish for a third, for nothing can fill the belly of Adam's son except dust, and Allah forgives him who repents to Him."
I love your question and answer session ❤. Great way of learning
Absolutely. A man of Honour
Masya Allah may Allah bless ustadz Nouman, the mother and the son who ask question. Aamiin
Excellent answer!
We must thank Allah for his blessings regardless of situation. Aameen!
Jazak Allah khair
What an Amazing response from Br. Norman, this is exactly what’s happening all around Muslim world, specially south-Asian Muslim culture
“Please stop comparing and competing with others, focus on your own self building, and your own household” ❤
The rest will take care of itself when everyone will be taking care of their own self building. As Ustadh Nouman has Quoted Ayah, What a beautiful Ayah and advice from our Creator, He states:
( وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا۟ مَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍۢ ۚ لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌۭ مِّمَّا ٱكْتَسَبُوا۟ ۖ وَلِلنِّسَآءِ نَصِيبٌۭ مِّمَّا ٱكْتَسَبْنَ ۚ وَسْـَٔلُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ مِن فَضْلِهِۦٓ ۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمًۭا ٣٢ )
“And do not crave what Allah has given some of you over others. Men will be rewarded according to their deeds and women ˹equally˺ according to theirs. Rather, ask Allah for His bounties. Surely Allah has ˹perfect˺ knowledge of all things.” (4:32)
I m astonished, as if I m hearing this Ayah for the first time. SubhanAllah ❤
جزاك الله خيرا و احسن الجزاء في الدارين🍃💞🍃
Subhan allah ....jazak Allah khair ...sir
I wish my parent understands this.
MashaAllah.. Allah bless your truthful words, Sir. You are gifted with a sharp mind.
That was such a good question.
So adorable, people waste their time thinking about others. Make sure you have to focus on what you're doing or just want to do.
"Everyone has their own different situations" 2:11
So yes "this hyper-comparison is the real problem " 2:24
MashaAllah always nice and learning by listening to you
sir plz Ap apne baki saare lectures urdu me b upload krwaden ?
Ah I love your videos and they way they are covered and edited..!Hats off to you and your team MashaAllah❤
We have lost that concept of involved community. We don't want to help but want to be helped. There's no two way engagement. The right of not being interfered upon is often mistranslated as apna apna. We have to get engaged with each other in the community as a single unit. Today even blood related brother is kept out of matters so the non related brother!!! Imagine his position.
May Allah bless you Ustadh
Subhan Allah Just Beautifully explained.
Asa. It is amazing .
Yeh mera Sawaal tha but Alhumdulilah I found its answer 😊
Thanks brother Nouman. All the way from Somalia
Alhamdulilah May.Allah.bless.you. sir.allah.gives. your.jannatul.ferdus
❤💚🤍
Beloved Ustadh Nouman💚
Every one please 😢 pray for me that may allah grant me good health.aameen
Exactly 💯 5:13 if you have any physical problems society start telling us you have to study so someone may marry you blah blah blah
Why don't they understand we were not sent here to marry someone only we have a bigger purpose 😂😅😅
SubhanAllah ❤ Maa Shaa Allah ❤️
I love you for this Nouman sir ❤
Marriage is important and the meaning of life but should have sabr and trust Allah and pray and do some charity in the waiting time and have focus on being a good human preparing for marriage and being good muslim
Yes sir I enjoyed it ...o Allah give me Big window 🪟 for my Herat....
right Absolutely ❤️
I love your content thank you so much for your valuable content
it's so realistic and this is happening every where
Nouman Ali khan Allah save you every time and every day and every years
First of all its sunnah of the prophets for healthy youngsters to get married, so thats why society wants to motivate youngsters to get married instead of decay(adultery, rape, pornography, prostitution, sex tourism etc). Just do it as God had made it legal and within his limits. Eating healthy and good food is part of not eating the unhealthy. But the peer pressure should not become harmful if youth somehow cant get married. We can live without and still live a healthy and good joyful life.
It might save few but believe me people who wants yo do zina many are still doing after marriage
@@tabinda460 there is nothing wrong with having a healthy libido and enjoying sexuality with the spouse, the prophet pbuh did it, the sahaba did it. As long as we dont do zina, randomly being intimate with ppl outside marriage. Again its not a must and a enlightened person can live without, but we shouldnt abstain to be a shoulder for ppl looking for support or to prove things to ppl who are still in search that might take them a lifetime.
@user-vx4qv1lw1e I agree my comment was early marriages or being married doesn't stop you from zina.only consciousness of ALLAH makes you fight all the sin temptation.
@@tabinda460 yes eventually nafs is never satisfied, the more we feed it the more it wants. As if drinking salt water which increases the thirst.
@@tabinda460 Actually you are right but if we talk about an average guy who has no such intention of indulging in haram then too he won't be able to save himself from this temptation as it's in human nature !
That's why it's necessary for a person to marry to meet his needs in a halal way
Mamma you can pinch in this is awesome❤❤
Learnt a lesson amazing answer ustad
#Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan
Intelligent With Sincerity it's Call #Delightful 😊❤
As salamou 'aleykoum dear brother Nouman Ali Khan. We need bayyina Institute in Afrika bi idhnillah
Salam, Bro why didn't you say ,Love affairs before marriage is haram , and you can't except the fruit of haram will be sweet .!!! Its our secular media which try to set a trend of love affair culture but they dont show the dark side of it . And its very difficult to fight against social norm and culture , even if you are islamic and searching for an islamic person for marrying . there would be sadness and depression because people will not praise you for your right(islamic) decisions because they r in a illusion of a disbelieving system .
He did mention ...there is two groups of people ...yaa toh log blkul hi bnd se ho jate h yaa blkul khul jate h ...
Dr shb you are great person Love you
I like so much your videos
لَا یُكَلِّفُ اللّٰهُ نَفْسًا اِلَّا وُسْعَهَاؕ-لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتْ وَ عَلَیْهَا مَا اكْتَسَبَتْؕ-رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَاۤ اِنْ نَّسِیْنَاۤ اَوْ اَخْطَاْنَاۚ-رَبَّنَا وَ لَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَیْنَاۤ اِصْرًا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهٗ عَلَى الَّذِیْنَ مِنْ قَبْلِنَاۚ-رَبَّنَا وَ لَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهٖۚ-وَ اعْفُ عَنَّاٙ-وَ اغْفِرْ لَنَاٙ-وَ ارْحَمْنَاٙ-اَنْتَ مَوْلٰىنَا فَانْصُرْنَا عَلَى الْقَوْمِ الْكٰفِرِیْنَ(286)
ترجمہ: کنزالعرفان
اللہ کسی جان پر اس کی طاقت کے برابر ہی بوجھ ڈالتا ہے ۔ کسی جان نے جو اچھاکمایا وہ اسی کیلئے ہے اور کسی جان نے جو برا کمایا اس کا وبال اسی پر ہے ۔اے ہمارے رب! اگر ہم بھولیں یا خطا کریں تو ہماری گرفت نہ فرما ،اے ہمارے رب! اور ہم پر بھاری بوجھ نہ رکھ جیسا تو نے ہم سے پہلے لوگوں پر رکھا تھا، اے ہمارے رب!اور ہم پر وہ بوجھ نہ ڈال جس کی ہمیں طاقت نہیں اور ہمیں معاف فرمادے اور ہمیں بخش دے اور ہم پر مہربانی فرما، تو ہمارا مالک ہے پس کافر قوم کے مقابلے میں ہماری مدد فرما۔
❤😊mashaaalah
very well said n explained sir really amazing we rly need to understand this n need someone like u jo in baton pr khas raushani Dalton smjhaein 👌👍
Ma sha Allah tabark Alhumdulillah
Exactly on the point....
JazakAllah khair
Sir . Aap bahut Acha Kam Kr rahy hain.you just pick the nerves
Old school parents we studied to waste time until the “arranged marriage” was signed.
Now it’s expired ummah work to be caregivers to the parents
The gen z are so lucky they search for a spouse while Young and in education
Every thing was taboo now it’s the unmarried Fault they never settled for the cousin or cultural traditions spouse.
I pray sincerely those unmarried who stayed on the halal path and “pure” get rewarded a spouse in jannah!
August 4th is my 24th birthday and 6 years ago i tried contacting ustad for councelling regarding a girl and how should i deal with the situation within halaal😅 but couldn't and now i am having my nikah💍 with the same person in December ....all i did was i took her raw likes and dislikes and opinions on rules by shariyah ❤ that's all and kept my self away from her with minimal connection through third person and never entertained my self with the idea of someone better out there crap . Just trusted allah and some ground realities of i liking her and vise versa and allah has made way for me in such a young age after being on 4th number among 9 guys in the family 😂
Are you financially independent??