Thank you for this interview. It helps. I was sexually abused from 4 to 16 by my mother and it left me with deep isolation and rage, sexual confusion, and self-destructive behavior. My youth pastor and several teachers that I told did not believe me back while it was happening so the abuse continued. I am doing intense self work now and getting healing. But I kept my trauma locked up for 18 years until I was willing to disclose. My mother also worked at an elementary school for ten years and still lives free today.
I’m a survivor. My perpetrator was the neighbor next door. He groomed me and eventually began molesting me. This happened from 1959 - 1961. A long time ago. Because he told me “Boys who tell get taken away “ I never told anyone. My wife talked with me and I told her what happened. I finally began therapy. One of the best decisions I ever made.
I'm a gay man .60 years of age. I was sexually abused by a neighbor when I was 10 till about 14 years old. I often wonder if that's the reason why I am gay. I have struggled with that my entire life. I have never told anyone
Well, first of all, you’re 60 years old now. So you have an adult mind with which to process things. At the age of 60, YOU’RE the one who just say you’re “a gay man.” Only YOU know ALL of your sexual history. Between 10 and 14 lots and lots of boys and girls are beginning to figure out their sexuality. Hormones are kicking in and intense emotions are springing forth. When you say you were sexually abused by a neighbor (for FOUR years), it’s not clear if this was an older person, and you don’t even say if the neighbor was male or female. Like, were you sexually abused by a 50 year old cougar and that made you fearful of women (or girls)? By this age of 60, hopefully you realize that sexuality can be a complex realm of psychology influenced by your inherent genetic makeup, social pressures (or the lack thereof) and a host of other things. And a person’s sexuality might even drift from one side of the spectrum to the other at different times. Sometimes people take drugs or drink alcohol and do things they wouldn’t do when sober. It’s valuable to find a good therapist to help you sort some of this out without judgement.
Supporting you and all boys and men who have been abused sexually, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Blessings on your healing journey. You have a voice...help is available...Dr.. Kelli Palfy Author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.
I’m a woman but I can relate to the men. When I was growing up I was abused. My problem was that while I was believed people have minimized my experience and my pain because it wasn’t rape. Because of this I don’t mention it and I don’t give details for fear that I’ll be minimized. 27:14
Sexual abuse is about power, control, domination and devaluation. I got molested by my female doctor earlier this year. It took me a while to figure out exactly what happened. She did it right in front of a female nurse. The presence of this nurse was twofold. One was to oppress a male patient, and the other was for this female doctor to demonstrate her power in front of her female subordinate to show her how easy it was, that is, by first getting the male patient on antidepressants then dangling them as bait and as a means of mind control. What this goes to prove is that SOME people (REGARDLESS of gender) cannot be trusted with POWER. Unchecked, these people run amok.
Thank you for this interview. It helps.
I was sexually abused from 4 to 16 by my mother and it left me with deep isolation and rage, sexual confusion, and self-destructive behavior. My youth pastor and several teachers that I told did not believe me back while it was happening so the abuse continued.
I am doing intense self work now and getting healing. But I kept my trauma locked up for 18 years until I was willing to disclose.
My mother also worked at an elementary school for ten years and still lives free today.
I’m a survivor. My perpetrator was the neighbor next door. He groomed me and eventually began molesting me. This happened from 1959 - 1961. A long time ago. Because he told me “Boys who tell get taken away “ I never told anyone. My wife talked with me and I told her what happened. I finally began therapy. One of the best decisions I ever made.
I'm a gay man .60 years of age.
I was sexually abused by a neighbor when I was 10 till about 14 years old.
I often wonder if that's the reason why I am gay.
I have struggled with that my entire life.
I have never told anyone
Well, first of all, you’re 60 years old now. So you have an adult mind with which to process things. At the age of 60, YOU’RE the one who just say you’re “a gay man.” Only YOU know ALL of your sexual history.
Between 10 and 14 lots and lots of boys and girls are beginning to figure out their sexuality. Hormones are kicking in and intense emotions are springing forth. When you say you were sexually abused by a neighbor (for FOUR years), it’s not clear if this was an older person, and you don’t even say if the neighbor was male or female. Like, were you sexually abused by a 50 year old cougar and that made you fearful of women (or girls)?
By this age of 60, hopefully you realize that sexuality can be a complex realm of psychology influenced by your inherent genetic makeup, social pressures (or the lack thereof) and a host of other things. And a person’s sexuality might even drift from one side of the spectrum to the other at different times. Sometimes people take drugs or drink alcohol and do things they wouldn’t do when sober.
It’s valuable to find a good therapist to help you sort some of this out without judgement.
The term: "Toxic Masculinity" is not a real thing. Masculinity is not toxic, there is toxic behavior committed by both male and female
I agree with you. 7:48
Supporting you and all boys and men who have been abused sexually, spiritually, physically and emotionally. Blessings on your healing journey. You have a voice...help is available...Dr.. Kelli Palfy Author of Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.
I’m a woman but I can relate to the men. When I was growing up I was abused. My problem was that while I was believed people have minimized my experience and my pain because it wasn’t rape. Because of this I don’t mention it and I don’t give details for fear that I’ll be minimized. 27:14
Sexual abuse is about power, control, domination and devaluation. I got molested by my female doctor earlier this year. It took me a while to figure out exactly what happened. She did it right in front of a female nurse. The presence of this nurse was twofold. One was to oppress a male patient, and the other was for this female doctor to demonstrate her power in front of her female subordinate to show her how easy it was, that is, by first getting the male patient on antidepressants then dangling them as bait and as a means of mind control.
What this goes to prove is that SOME people (REGARDLESS of gender) cannot be trusted with POWER. Unchecked, these people run amok.
That’s sick. I’m sorry you had to go through that. 7:48
Yes, it sunder reported, I’m a victim from way back,