Is Violet Bridgerton a Bad Mother?
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- Опубликовано: 25 янв 2025
- Hey y'all! This was an unexpected video, but seeing the discourse online inspired me. Even though I covered a lot, there's still so much nuance and complexity that I have yet to touch regarding Violet and motherhood. This one took quite a while, so please like it and share it to spread the word. I hope that y'all enjoy this and please let me know all your thoughts below!
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My issue with Bridgerton men is that they protect so much the virtue of their sisters but so easily have sex with women without a father figure to protect them... Kate, Pen, Sophie
And Sienna.
That's also part of that time period, protecting the women that are "yours" of hungry men like themselves.
It's so unattractive, ngl.
Most men did a the time. Is their women they care about not others.
That’s because men of the time (and let’s be real, many men still now) view women as their property, objects that they own not human beings. The Bridgerton boys are protective of their sisters because they own them, the same way people their doors to keep people from stealing their tv. But a woman without a father or older brother is like a take one candy bowl on Halloween to a man from the 1800s, they can do whatever they want and will never have to deal with the consequences, so they take advantage.
Violet is probably a more open minded mother of her time, a scene from S2 comes to mind where Eloise was talking with Pen and some other ladies. The ladies were complaining about matches their mothers had in mind for them, and Eloisr says "Why don't you just say no?"
The bar is on the ground for not marrying your daughter off to a 40 year old man, but back then it was expected. And you couldn't just say no. At least we know the Bridgerton daughters can
THIS❤
that’s honestly something i hope they delve further into in future seasons, because the first two seasons was understandable, she was a baby feminist learning about intersectionality and how not every woman has the same options as she does.
but season 3 was just abysmal. like i can’t go for another season with Eloise being stuck in the same way of thinking. maybe Benedict dating and then marrying Sophie will finally kickstart her growth fr
@@primroseprom well, I think the writers do a good job of showing her evolving thoughts through the books she reads, and it's not surprising how she starts reading Austen during her friendship with Cressida, and with her arc leading to her understanding and forgiveness of Penelope
I feel like Violet is often antagonistic with Anthony in the first season because he is in the position of power and simply will not listen to her. I know you talked about him doing stuff when she asked. But you will notice she often has to invoke his father for him to actually take the advice into account because he is quite resistant to take in the advice of women. Something he begins to grow from when Daphne doesn't tell him about Berbrooke and then Simon does. Daphne points out if he only took into account because it was Simon, a man, who told him, and if she had said it wouldn't have changed anything, if she did.
That marks the change in Anthony being more open to listening to the women in his life, including Violet.
Violet went from having to be well your "father would have" in order for him to do something. To him, being more open to listening to her.
I disagree. I do not think Anthonys reason for not listening to his mother has less to do with violet being a woman but more to do with How violet let anthony take all the responsibility at 18 and never was present to give advice to beacuse he was the "man" of the house. She cant expect him to listen to her when she was so neglectful of him.
@gamorapotter9946 In what way is that true?? She didn't LET that happen. That's what happened because he became the viscount she has no control over that. Anthony went to school and hung out with Simon and stuff he wasn't just stuck taking care of everything. Obviously, Violet had a hard time at the beginning, but she clearly pulled herself out of that depression and took care of stuff.
Meanwhile you can see Violet try and get Anthony to do this or that and he wouldn't listen and the times be did were because she brought up Edmund. He also wouldn't listen to Daphne in the same way. It's TEXT from the show as Daphne points out that he takes what men say seriously, but not really women.
And Anthony grows somewhat after that.
@@gamorapotter9946 I think you forget that society did that not her. Imagine a legal structure where you child becomes head of the house when your spouse dies. He became Vicount. She had no legal rights/authority in the household. Women rights is a 20th century development.
My own mother was emotionally absent after my father passed when I was 16. I had to support her, instead of the other way around. But that didn't make her a bad mother. Nor did it mean that I became excused for any bad behavior of my own from there on out. It seems to me that many fans simply give male characters much more grace than they give female characters.
@@mathgirl24 everyone is human ,and they should be allowed to be ,sometimes even with the best intent u can end up hurting yourself and the ones u love .Everyone needs time to heal and recover. And yes ,male character in media are given much more grace ,and instead of hating that and fighting it ,we should just extend that grace to the female characters too as well .🥰hope u and ur mother are in a better place now ,and ur father being your guardian angel now ,may u both always be happy and close to each other♥️
This
@@ridhimasson3315the last sentence made me emotional 🥹
Yeah and it is not only Bridgerton with this problem, in avatar the last air bender the fans gave Katara so much hate because she stole the water scroll (the time was ticking and Anng and her needed to learn water beding fast) while they loved Zuko and uncle Irohy (no hate to these caracters just pointing out the ridiculousness) but they comited war crimes and didn't got the hate Katara got for stealing once.
@@juliaboskamp9666 It is certainly a problem in most fandoms I've experienced.
I think it makes sense in universe for Violet to be less nosey with her other children. Marrying off Daphne was supposed to be her husbands responsibility, and it fell to her son, so she's critical of her son and clingy with her daughter. Once Daphne marries Simon, their families social status is set in stone. Even if no more children marry, two of her children, Daphne and Antony, have titles, and none of them will have to worry about money or status. Daphne made the rest of the girls look desirable and if they want to marry nobility, they can.
Almost all her children end up marrying well above their social class so she does pretty well, all things considered.
It’s so true that the concept of a good mom is subjective. My mom is objectively a good parent but often was not the best parent for *me* because she didn’t understand me and our personalities are so different. It has taken me decades and having my own kid to appreciate the stress she was under.
about the Daphne drama: Antonny was right about the duke not being good for her and she should've married the Prince. The Duke disrespects, remiss, toss aside and lie to Daphne in the whole season. If anything, the feeling that I had was that she went after a man who SAID and ACTED like he didn't want her and I was never convinced by the end that he came around. Of course marrying Burbrook was a terrible idea, but, for me, he was dead on the money about Simon
In real life, Simon is full of red flags.
@@onegirlarmy4401we’ve all dated Simons at least once and heavily regretted it, Antony was so right
I agree that Simon probably wasn’t the best choice and unfortunately he was written out so we will never get to see if he actually came to be a better husband. However, I disagree that the prince was a good choice for Daphne, she says it herself that Bridgertons need a partner that challenges them. Even Francesca chose someone that could match her at an intellectual level. The prince was simply too agreeable for someone like Daphne who craved passion, it’s just unfortunate that her circumstance would never give her the time to find someone both good for her and good enough for her.
I would love to see another video like this, but with Portia Featherington! Especially comparing the parenting styles between her and Violet
I second this! Portia is far from a perfect mother, but I also think she isn't _quite_ as bad as people think. Just like Sammy said in this video, so many of the things people take issue with are due to the world and time she lived in, and her own specific experiences of it.
Portia sure wasn't a good mother but she was a goddamn great father she provided for these girls
Wow…now that would be
…wild…let’s include Lady Cowper😳
@@joannecash7243Lady Cowper is way worse of a mother than both Portia Featherington and Violet Bridgerton combined.
@ too true. I actually felt sorry for Cressida this season.
Most of the time when people call characters 'complex' and then that's the end, it really bothers me, because in my experience, the character in question isn't actually all that complex, that's just a word their fans use to completely deflect blame and accountability off that character. But Sammy hit the nail on the head here. Violet is actually complex. The question I ask to people who hate Violet is this; would you rather have Violet as your mother or Araminta or Portia or even plenty of actually bad mothers in this world? You'd much rather have Violet. She isn't perfect, she has made mistakes and caused problems, but she has learned from and apologized for these problems she causes. And every time her relationship with one child is tested, it comes out being stronger than ever because she is a good mother who knows how to adapt.
And I love how Sammy mentions that two things can be true at the same time, it can be true that Violets behavior after Edmund died was deeply traumatizing for Anthony, and that he probably deserves an apology for all he was put through, but is it not also true that if Anthony is entitled to his traumas then Violet is too? Is it not also true that something deeply horrific happened to Violet on top of the challenges of birth and being postpartum? Why do we always have to punish women more than we punish men?
i absolutely adore violet. as children we can't imagine our parents to be anything but all-knowing and perfect. growing up is understanding that they're human and parenting is unbelievably hard, any decision could be a mistake and any mistake could mark your child forever. of course sometimes your best is simply not good enough but that doesn't take away all the love and effort. i love violet precisely because she's a flawed but ultimately good mother
Yes I especially like how she kinda set Daphne up to be naive bout sex and how Daphne held it against her, but also for the time no one of violets status would ever have an open conversation about that so it makes sense why Daphne would have to go to her staff for an explanation and why she’s so upset her especially since her mother had been so protective the whole time.
she's not perfect but she tries her best, stands by her children no matter what and tries really hard to understand them that makes her an amazing mom at least to me!
As to her and Anthony, since Edmund died and he became viscount that not only put him in charge of the family instead of Violet but also in charge of her! I'll never forget when doctor asked him to chose who to save her or the baby Infront of her giving birth refusing to address her at all
so they could never have a normal mother/son relationship which is neither her or his fault
This is where I land as well. The transition between having an underage child and an adult one is difficult enough when society doesn't impose this kind of tension on a relationship. But in an instant Anthony went from her son to the decision maker of the house and Violet and Anthony were placed at odds over how the household should be run.
Violet still has a lot of children to look out for but she has no real power over what ultimately happens to them, which is why she and Anthony clash so much. As unfair as it is Anthony needs to be the one running the home and Violet is at the mercy of that. It completely alters the regular parent-child relationship in a negative way.
It's clear there's care and affection on both sides but it understandably takes time to deal with their trauma and societally skewed power dynamic.
Facts! This tension and dynamic having a negative effect can be seen in our history. A lot of noble women have had power struggles with their male children and it turned out negative.
I wasn't even aware of this controversy. But as usual, you make excellent, nuanced points! There's a reason you're my favorite Bridgerton content creator!
Sammy coming out of the woodwork to blast Violet hate with a nuanced and well thought out video, she’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment
She’s a good mom for the time period.
Yes she was. She had all of her children with her at all times instead of in the nursery with a governess as was usual at the time. Simon commented on them all eating together in S1. ❤
It was actually very common for women to explain s3x (dunno if I need to censor this) to their daughters to properly prepare them as they knew how traumatic/distressing it could be without that prior knowledge. It was also common for it to be a group of older women explaining things to the bride before her wedding and they were very detailed too. It was the same with periods iirc.
I don't agree. Do you have any references for your statement? A lot of young brides were basically raped and were told to endure " this" for the pleasure of their husbands and for procreation. A lot of reputable wives were glad when their duty of producing offspring was done and husbands found pleasure elsewhere. The medical profession and general (male) opinion even doubted that women could enjoy s3x, and, with typical double standard, did not classify their mistresses as the same kind of women as their mothers, sisters and prospective brides. Young ladies, especially upper class, were ridiculously sheltered from anything considered inappropriate and were practically never left alone, so they could not find out for themselves.
@@willdo2909
[Edited to add: sorry for the length of this comment I didn't mean to Go Off, this is just like my hyperfixation specialist subject and I am Excited to Talk About Georgian Schmex like the ADHD pervert I am.]
Jane Austen was a lifelong spinster and the daughter of a clergyman and her novels and personal letters contain multiple references and even jokes about intercourse, and not just for procreation. There was no widespread social condemnation of an unmarried woman knowing where babies came from. Of course it wouldn't be openly discussed with anyone and everyone in a ballroom, but women who were family or close friends could certainly talk about it amongst themselves.
Prior to roughly the mid-19th century, Western medicine (based on Greco-Roman principles) actually was of the opinion that a woman's orgasm made for more likely/healthy conception if both parties experienced the 'generative' burst of energy as pleasure. Only after microscopic examination discovered that an "active" sperm penetrated a "passive" egg did general belief begin to shift to the idea that female pleasure was entirely unnecessary to conceive. (Not that there were not all kinds of harmful ideas in how the Georgian/Regency patriarchy approached female s*xuality, in particular about so-called 'forced seductions' and legal and social definitions of what constituted consent/female receptiveness, especially as regards 'fallen' women. So if a woman conceived without feeling pleasure in the act, this did not undermine the theory but it would more likely be assumed after the fact that she must have secretly enjoyed it enough to get pregnant, whatever she might otherwise claim.) Female midwives were also common practical attendants/supports for childbirth and pregnancy, with male doctors often seeing such matters as beneath their medical skills, and having a physician attend a birth was more of a wealthy person flex than anything else, so unless there were major problems with conceiving/giving birth, the patriarchal medical establishment left 'women's work' to the women, more or less.
But the 'lie back and think of England' approach to married copulation was a social idea rooted much more in the Victorian period, where society grew more outwardly morally rigid as a response to the rising monied middle classes making a bid to gain a foothold in society by performative 'respectability', and Victoria's own large royal family turning fashion and social focus to certain ideals of the 'purity' of Christian domestic simplicity and 'innocence' as a response to the upheaval of the industrial revolution that was shattering centuries-old rhythms and hierarchies of agrarian society. In times of swift change and economic instability, there is usually an element of regressive social ideas that begin to make a comeback, particularly around gender roles, along with the usual myths of what is an 'ideal' family unit/household and what a Woman's Place in it might be. (For examples in our own century, see post-WWII 1950s working overtime to get women out of their war-work and back into the kitchen, or handwringing about Career Women being inferior mothers in the 1970s/80s when conservatives Regan and Thatcher reigned, or uhhh whatever tradwife tiktok insanity is happening at the moment.) Certainly there were unhappy marriages, and women who would absolutely be relieved to have the risks of potential childbearing or contracting venereal disease from a philandering husband over and done with in an era before reliable healthcare and availability of reproductive choices, but those concerns aren't unique to the Regency period, and even continue today where s*xual coercion and access to birth control and gender dynamics within relationships continue to be hotly debated.
It's not quite right to say that the Georgians were somehow more s*xually progressive and open-minded than Victorians, but ideas about biology and female pleasure and reproduction both in and out of wedlock are more complex than just assuming the further back in history one goes, the more there is intense shame and ignorance impressed upon women. I would say Georgian society was extremely *bawdy*, and this appeared in popular literature and art and theatre which even the highest circles of aristocratic society would have likely had some exposure to. To keep a girl entirely ignorant about s*x she'd probably have to be strictly educated in an isolated and rural environment without many friends. To leave a girl too ignorant would be to leave her vulnerable to predators, too. Hallie Rubenhold has done a lot of good writing on these aspects of the late Georgian period, and the TV show Harlots is heavily based on her work and offers a much more accurate picture of the London society which immediately precedes the Regency period by a few decades. (Of course the show focuses on s*x workers and not the marriage mart, but it is kind of a mirror image of women on the other side of the society of the times, with men moving easily between high and lower classes, but various aristocratic women characters certainly play their own parts in the s*xual dynamics of the day.) The Scandalous Lady W is based on a historical legal case from the period as well and has a lot of good detail and research behind it. The Duchess starring Keira Knightley also gives a view into the complicated dynamics of feminine s*xuality within marriage and outside of it. These aren't fantasy romances so there is very real heartbreak and shame and pain and assault in these stories, but it offers an excellent depiction of the dynamics which would have been at play in the generations leading up to the Regency, which itself was a relatively brief and tumultuous kind of transitional period between the Georgian and Victorian eras, so it's a messy gray area in many respects; but personally I look to the Georgian period for the foundation of what Regency female s*xuality and education would have probably looked like for various levels of society and class, with Jane Austen herself giving what I think is a fair representation of normal knowledge for an unmarried but sensible genteel countrywoman, which is roughly equivalent to the girls in Bridgerton, albeit they have more connections to the aristocracy.
(The TV miniseries adaptation of Fanny Hill starring Rebecca Night is set in a slightly earlier part of the Georgian period but is worth a watch as well as its tone and accuracy are similar to the later dynamics of Harlots/Scandalous Lady W/The Duchess. Also trigger warnings for nudity and SA in all of these adaptations.)
The Duke and I NEEDED Daphne to be deeply ignorant for the conflict in the latter part of the novel, and the Netflix adaptation has made that dedicated ignorance a part of the social fabric of the show and made ALL the young girls seemingly equally ignorant, (and even had to make Marina suddenly be very coy in describing what she absolutely knows about the physical act even when she's alone and confiding in Penelope who asks her outright how she came to be pregnant, in a moment that felt extremely contrived because they had to keep Pen and Eloise curious but also not let ANYONE blab about how conception occurs because Daphne can't find out anything until it's hitting a Peak Drama beat to fuel the third act conflict and angst,) but it's about as 'historically accurate' as the stays being worn over bare skin without chemises.
It's a very important part of marriage. Violet is the more open minded mother right? surprised she didn't help
@willdo2909 do you have a source for *that?* Not dismissing you, but the wording there lowkey sounds like one of those apocryphal ‘corsets were torture devices that mashed up women’s organs’ stories y’know
@@willdo2909They were not sheltered like that during the regency period. You're thinking of the Victorian era.
John's speech about Violet and her children is one of the most touching parts of season three. I'm happy to see you highlight it. Great video Sammy.
I kinda hope we see Pen or Fran or Kate talking to Eloise about sex because we know Violet won't.
Both Pen and Eloise knows whats going on, since they bribed on of their maids to tell them.
It is a shame that Daphne was not around in s3 because, since her problem, she would have been perfect to take in her hands the role to speak with her sisters. However probably El would have asked Pen and Hy bribed the maid (as El and Fran do in the books).
What I find interesting about that first scene with Violet and Anthony in his study, is that Anthony cuts off Violet 5 or 6 times before she's able to get full sentence out. It immediately establishes the lopsided power dynamic between the two. Is it unfair of Violet to compare Anthony to his father? Yes. But as a woman I empathize with Violet more here because she does try to reason with him before she reaches that point. Anthony might have all the responsibilities, but he also has all of the power. The only power Violet has in protecting her children is her voice, which is something Anthony in particular doesn't really respect. He might do what she says, but he usually takes it to the extreme or puts in a minimal amount of effort. When Violet suggested he end things with his mistress, she didn't say, "Have sex with her one more time and then kick out onto the street." Anthony goes from scaring away all of Daphne's suitors to picking the first one available without doing any research. From Violet's perspective he's hearing her, but he's not really listening, which is why she becomes more passive aggressive as season 1 continues. Her response to Anthony's behavior isn't always productive, but it's understandable given the lack of agency she and all of the women of the ton are provided. Violet is a woman and a mother doing the best she can with the hand that she was dealt. She's made a lot of mistakes a long the way, but when you don't have a complete toolbox, how can you be expected to build a perfect home?
01:16 Oh YES absolutely! She is not perfect, but that does not mean "bad." And it is nearly always women as well as other disenfranchised groups who are held to this standard.
23:09 I cannot agree with you more. Violet was pushed almost to the breaking point, and for THAT very reason failed her children. But one might as well blame her for not running a marathon with two broken legs! Nothing about the situation was fair. But healing, understanding, and forgiveness does a lot in tandem to grow.
25:20 Also long to see more of Benedict with his mother, the "second son" the "spare" looking for purpose while smiling and showing off his eager wit (yet hiding his pain, his disappointments, his loneliness). I don't think she really understands him that well, or at least takes him for granted a bit. Because Anthony and Daphne (the first borns) were such handfuls.
Ngl this video is a shock to me i just watched all 3 seasons back to back to back and i thought violet was overall an excellent mother who was trying her best to keep up society image but also make sure her children are doing well. She seems very loving for them.
I think Violet knew about Kate and Anthony just like lady Danbury they just chose to ignore it. She kept trying to dissuade him away from Edwina in a poetic roundabout way like she always does.😂😂😂
I think you also have to take into account that she grew up with parents who had a loveless and dysfunctional marriage, and that she is constantly surrounded by such unions as to be completely oblivious to the fact that her case is not the norm. For her, a love marriage is the best thing compared to those troubled, loveless ones that are constantly seen in their society, and the best thing is that her children have all the advantages to be able to pursue one: they have money, reputation, connections, stability and status, which means that none of them have to focus on climbing socially for the sake of the family or marrying for money to stay afloat. That's also the reason why she focuses a lot on reputation, as it in Regency era, having a good reputation was also connected to having good connections, status and even money and stability. It might look superficial to us, but for them it was the way to keep their lives just as it was, as falling to ruin meant difficulty they weren't prepared to afront. Of course, I'm not fully counting on that as I'm not sure if the producers even had that in mind.
It's true that she is too rigid in her thinking, and perhaps that would have been more noticeable if at least one of her children had not been truly interested in love, for she would have been shown as pushy. But since all of the Bridgerton children are interested in love (at some point in their lives), Violet's view gets favored: her encouragement to Daphne to be with the Duke, her words to Francesa to seek for passion, and her persuasion to Anthony to pursue love and not just the fulfillment of duties (probably after perceiving that he liked Kate and not Edwina), and I think she also showed some reluctance with the matching of Colin and Marina because she thought that Colin was not really in love with Marina, but that he believed himself to be. I also think that Francesca's case had the opportunity to expose to us Violet's rigidity of thought had it not been for Michaela's appearance.
Overall, I agree that she's a good mother, flaws included.
Elouise too! She's seen as very pushy towards Elouise, and definitely expects much of her. But i also think that it makes sense when you take into consideration the times. Elouise is correct about her views of society, but probably won't have the ability to change it. And even when Violet pushes Elouise to participate, she doesn't ever do it maliciously. It's not "why can't you just shine like the others" but "i hope you shine for your whole worth". You see this starkly when examining Portia and Violet's treatments of Pen and Elouise.
@@M.M.Y.B My personal belief is that Violet is insistent with her because she knows that, as much as Eloise denies it, love has something in store for her too (which later proves to be true). Of course, Violet's methods are ineffective, but I guess her reasoning was “the more people she meets, the better chance she has of finding someone she loves.”
Violet is not desperate to marry off Eloise just to make her fit in since she doesn't have to worry about Eloise's future because, even if she were to become a spinster, it looks promising thanks to her house's wealth and influence, and her siblings and relatives who will treat her well and allow her to do whatever she wants. Violet doesn't want her to change her mind about society either, if she had wanted to, she could have been harsher with Eloise. But she does want Eloise to change her mind about how she views love and marriage and to realize that it's not as shackling as she thinks if it's done with the right person (not saying that Eloise isn't right in many things, but her view is too narrow, stubborn, biased and privileged as to consider a broader picture)
Violet wants happiness and the best for all her children, and sincerely believes that true love is part of that.
I think I've come to a better understanding of Violet's apprehension towards Francesca and John's match through watching this video. Because multiple times it is pointed out that a lot of her faults stem from the world that they are in. And what starts her hesitation towards their match is two things that cause the same worry. and those are One: John didn't know Francesca's name when he first came by to call on her. and Two: she doesn't see them physically talk to one another during that meeting. Which leads to her being concerned about how much the two of them truly know about one another, which taking in the context of their time period, would be even more of a vulnerable and potentially precarious position for Francesca to be in. so while most of her fears are externalized as their love doesn't look like what she thinks true love looks like, those apprehensions also start from this moment.
I have no shortage of generational and childhood trauma but I now have really great relationships with my parents. What has helped me is precisely this acknowledgment of multiple things being true at once. My parents did not do everything right when raising me, they often parented the child they wish they had instead of the one they did have. They used poor parenting techniques many times. But they always acted from a place of love and were constantly doing the best they could with the resources (time, energy, money, knowledge, emotions, etc.) they had. They’ve learned where they were wrong and I learned to see them as humans in their own right and not just in relation to me.
I think this applies so well to Violet. One of the things Bridgerton does well is present fully formed characters that are just as imperfect as people in real life.
My father passed away from cancer when I was 10 years old. My mother sent my brother and I to boarding school abroad. I understand the immense sadness she must have felt at losing the love of her life, but we were abandoned thrice. Rejection and physical, emotional abandonment. Such is life and the life long lessons were permanent. She has been better but there'll always be an emotional distance between us and her. She has expressed regret and guilt which is now unnecessary because she is woman, a human and those difficult moments in life will lead to mistakes. I ultimately understand her and accept how it shaped me as well.
Violet is definitely projecting the trauma of her husbands passing onto her kids, she wants to bring her and her husbands love back to life through her children, it's sad but realistic :(
Okay, but... The naivety around intimacy isn't historically accurate. While i see this idea repeated a lot, but there is some evidence that erotica was extremely common at the time, and often used for educating women of means to avoid just these situations. The puritanical ideas people assume were a part of the regency actually came from the Victorian era.
Yeah like... there definitely was a fixation on reputation in the regency, but that could and did exist in ways other than expecting women to *know* nothing about sex.
I feel like people tend to misinterpret the whole Austen effect, as well as retrofitting Victorian influence - Austen wasn't ignorant of more overt sexual subjects, she just made a stylistic choice to either omit them or only allude to them indirectly. She had to know about them in order to allude to them, but I think there does tend to be this assumption that 'oh this is a 1:1 for regency women's knowledge of it all.' She referenced multiple aspects of sexuality, it was written in that coy way as a result of literary conventions more than overall societal values. Her readership would've had sufficient knowledge of it all to *get* what she was referencing!
@AMinibot one of the in iting incidents in her first book is the seduction of a schoolgirl, and most people seem to gloss over that. (The 2007 BBC adaptation was the only time I ever saw it actually brought to the forefront, and I think they did a solid job.)
I mean, it's true that it wouldn't have been proper to talk about these things publicly. But that doesn't mean it wasn't understood, or that women would have been ignorant.
Anthony and Violet are definitely the most interesting dynamics. They both suffer a giant tragedy that has scarred them and now leaves them in a constant power-struggle of Violet being the lady of the house, Anthony the viscount but also as mother-son in an era where women aren't treated well.
In general, I think her character is one who WANTS her children to think for themselves by giving hints but her children are instead left confused and are all, unfortunately, very impulsive (due to their freeing upbringing) leading to more problems she wants to subtly help, leaving them in awkward situations. Anthony can't do right because Violet keeps trying to push him in the middle of being her son who deserves love but also the head of the house who needs to take care of the family but he obviously doesn't know how to balance until after they have their conversation. Daphne suffers too as she is left humiliated by Simon because she is too afraid to tell her directly what occurs on the wedding night. She's flawed and is constantly trying which is why I like her.
Season 3, her writing is everywhere because Colin wasn't a proper lead. Her story with Francesca and John had potential for growth in her learning how love takes various forms and not just her view (as she has grown up around dysfunctional relationships aside from her own) but they fumbled hard in that
I simply love Violet! Both in the books and the show. She’s a complex character and like John said she has plenty of qualities that she has instilled in her family. She’s not perfect, but I love her so.
Glad you made this video bc I was rewatching season 2 recently, and everytime we get to the flashbacks of Edmund’s death and Hyacinth’s birth, I try to put myself in Anthony’s shoes, and the idea of being 19, having lost my dad and within that same breath being forced into his role, and not long after having to decide between his mother and unborn sister, absolutely 0 surprise Anthony was the way that he was
Yeah...I think people forget that Violet is NOT the sole contributor of pressure (by experiencing a double whammy of postpartum depression AND grief over her husband), but that societal structure would absolutely push a lot of responsibility on Anthony no matter what she did. He was shoved into the role of man of the house early and that came with its own set of problems not even remotely related to Violet
@ Anthony could not catch a single break, and it all started because of a bee sting on a so far amazing day, and Violet was knocking on the door of giving birth, to a child who would never know their father, Violet’s end of season moment with Anthony hit like a 100 mph brick
I'm a mother of grown children and a history buff. Having said that, two points: This is entertainment based on a series of romance novels, not history, and we cannot apply today's societal standards on the character of Violet. Secondly, I think the show does capture that awkward transition between a parent child dynamic to an adult to adult dynamic. Kids are meant to have roots and wings. Disagreements are inevitable but the power dynamic naturally shifts as kids mature into adulthood and full independence. That transition can be bumpy or smooth, depending on so many different stressors. Grace, respect and love go a long way to smoothing that path, and I think the way the character of Violet is written helps to illuminate that transition.
Honestly, I didn’t notice what was being said about violet. True there are times she’s overbearing but nothing else. Looking forward to watching polin analysis.
I see Sammy’s commentary and I click. You always nail it out of the park
Yessss how I've missed watching a Sammy production 🥹🩵
13:43 I think this is an unfair take on whats happening. Anthony didn't do the job he was asked to do. He is finding a match for his sister while putting no actual care and effort into the match. He doesn't verify this man will care for, cherish, and protect his sister. He finds a man that works on paper and doesn't do his due diligence because he's half-assing the work. And his mother knows this. If hes going to claim the spoils he needs to do the job properly.
I haven't finished the video yet, but I also think Violet is a good mother-in-law to the ladies in her sons' lives.
Honestly, my biggest problem is Violet Bridgerton being about 12/14 in 1761, meaning she's 68 in 1817 and about 54 when she had Hyacinth.
The eldest preganancy to term was a woman at 74, and while 50+ is incredibly rare its not impossible. Its also said in the show that she was nearly died during the delivery
Having a kid at 54 is possible, though in the 1800s she almost definitely would’ve died or miscarried. Not saying it never happened but the odds were definitely against her.
My problem with it though is that the timeline just doesn’t make sense. They changed her age to give her a role in QC. She would’ve been in her mid twenties when she had her first child which doesn’t seem likely, she would’ve married between 18-21 and had Antony within a year or two. She is definitely not an almost 70 year old woman in the current timeline, she’s mid 50s at most.
I agree a lot with the analysis of the relationship between Violet and Ant.
I watched the s1 and s2 when they came out and with not a deep analysis. Then rewatched them before s3 but I started doing deep character analysis only after s3. So when I rewatched s1, s2, and s3 at Christmas with my mum, I was astonished about the Violet/Ant relationship because I didn't remember (paid enough attention) their dynamic.
When she says to him that he should stop seeing his mistress and that if his father were alive he would have organized a match, HE DOES what she says (so he searches for her approval) but when he finds the match (Berbrooke) she is upset. For most of s1, her behavior is contradictory.
Book!Ant's story is propelled by his trauma about losing his father and getting the fear of being doomed to die in the same way and at the same age (which JQ explains is common for males who lose their fathers in a young age and I do agree since I married a man that lost his father when he was around Ant age and has the same fear). However, in the show, they could have made his conflict (which he had to grow and overcome) about his relationship with his mother.
My feeling is that often, in Bridgerton, the plot is story-driven and not character-driven. See Portia when sometimes does something that does not make sense just for make the story take some kind of direction.
I hope they will be more character-driven driven though because this is what I like in a story.
Little note about Colin (because I am a Polin gir and I cant let a comment go without a little piece on my favourite character, I think that her attachment to Colin may be due to the fact that A and B got to be raised by Ed in all the masculine things. Colin, instead, was the man she raised (and this explains why Colin in so sensitive, not only because he is very close to D, E and F in age, but also because he didn't had a father with whom to do boy stuff - At that point Ant went to Oxford and I do not see him be very present as the man of the house, especially for the children, probably more for the practical stuff. And the same for B). And infact Colin conflict was that no one took him seriously (and he had a problem with Ant mostly because he wanted to be felt as a man in Ant's eyes, but Ant kept treating him as a boy).
I would love a similar analysis on Portia (tbh I did already mine in my head and I am writing a fic about it. I do not know if it will ever see the light of AO3 but I am trying my best).
p.s. loved the part about trauma and post partum mood disorders mention. It is a whole world that is too difficult to explain in few words.
So in short, I believe her biggest "flaws" are her having to balance society expectations, her own and her children's. Which is never easy but thankfully in the end she always puts her kids first.
There’s a scene in the 6th book (Francesca’s book) that included Violet it made me cry and it made me know for sure that Violet is an amazing and loving mother. Also there are scenes in Book 3 (Benedict’s) Book 4 (Colin’s) and Book 5 (Eloise’s) that made me absolutely adore Violet as a mother, a woman and a human being. I haven’t read the first 2 books and last 2 books but from what I read I can tell that she’s is a damn good mother.
I did not know it was your love of the Bridgerton show that sparked your love of romance novels! As a writer - journalist- I love when media leads someone to the written word. Love your videos and your perspective. Keep up the good work! ❤
I feel like your point referencing Violet’s inability to entertain the idea that people could want different things than what she wants -while true- was poorly illustrated by her son’s desire for a practical marriage.
In every other sense I agree- but concerning her son’s somewhat detached inclination towards the practicality of marriage as being nothing more than a “contract”, I think she correctly identified his desire as out of character, knowing him to care about the things he claimed not to before the trauma of losing his father.
If she had blindly accepted his unhealthy coping mechanism manifested in the form of avoidant attachment- she wouldn’t have done her job as a mother.
Violet, like the Queen, is a foil. She’s simply nicer and swoops in with banger advice. Thanks, Sammy!
Another 11/10 video by Sammy, thank you!! You’re always so insightful on characters and relationships and pick up on so many things I hadn’t even thought of.
If it weren't a show, I would say Violet Bridgerton is horribly neglectful for throwing her daughters to the wolves of the marriage market without giving them an inkling about self-pleasure or conception (I don't care what year the show supposedly takes place; plenty of mothers have had the common sense in anitquity to provide their children with greater preparedness). However, I understand that this is just a plot device to sew greater drama in the series, and it really is supposed to exist entirely separate to her character. Daphne only mentions once that Violet set her up for humiliation and abuse by withholding critical information, but it's never brought up again or explored.
I'm not so sure that the mental health of women and mothers in particular are considered at all in many parts of the world. To become a mother in this time as well as Violet's is to be subjected to the expectation of constant perfection still. Ruth Gemmell plays the paradoxes of motherhood extremely well...
Can you do more beidgerton season 2 content? Its my favorite season and im not seeing much in your playlist
Violet is so much better of a mother than hers was. I love that she isn’t a two dimensional character. She is one of my favorites, and I’m excited to see her get another chance at romance!
Violet reminds me of my mother a great deal, and incidentally, another fictional violet also reminds me of my mother, that being violet buckle from call the midwife 😅 they're both deeply loving and caring mother figures who are both assertive and compassionate in equal measure, and while neither are perfect, both are trying their absolute best for their loved ones. I find it really interesting to be able to effectively watch different versions of my mother through different time periods, and being able to watch from their perspectives give me better insight into her as well.
I love Violet from Call the Midwife too. Her ,Fred and Reggie are a cute little family.
Beautiful analysis...my favorite part about storytelling!
I was expecting to see you when I clicked but I’m pleasantly surprised! I know how much time it takes to edit a video with clips the entire run (since that’s what I do) amazing content ❤
That‘s part of the things I absolutely love about the writing of he show! Most of the characters are flawed and that males them so relatable!
The viewer can basically see themselves (partly) in most of the characters.
I love complex and fully rounded characters with edges and flaws to them!
That‘s why I think the show is superior to the books (imho)!
She is an exceptional mother because she does everything in her power to be there for her kids.
It’s crazy to me that this is even a question people are asking. No one would question the parenting of a man who was as involved with and loving towards his kids as we see Violet being in the show - especially if he was a single father whose beloved spouse had died. People still glorify Viserys Targaryen (from House of the Dragon) as being this tragic loving father when he literally ignored 3 out of 4 of his children completely. And I still see comments saying Rhaenyra is a bad mother? Not to mention people praising Aegon for giving his son Jaeherys attention when we know for a fact he’s had many children in brothels and completely abandoned them. The bar for male parents is so low, whereas whatever mothers do, it’s never right or enough. Glad to see a thoughtful video on the subject.
Please I NEED MORE VIDEOS OF YOU LIKE THIS, I'm simply addicted
Insightful as ever @Sammy Bates thank you.
Girl i missed ur videos!! Sorry to ask… but where is the Polin video? I know like all the others it would be amazing
Ahh, once again folk mistaking a flawed mother for a bad mother. Parents are people and they will make mistakes. I think the important thing about Violet is that she consistently tries to be better and learn from her mistakes as a parent. I think such a reaction to Violet just shows that the misogynistic standard imposed on women to be perfect mothers is. There is little room for women to be flawed and for mothers I think this problem is sometimes exacerbated.
P.S. Great video, loved your nuanced and grounded analysis. You've gained a new fan haha :)
In the end, I don't think Francesca was really in love with John, and you can see it in the way she interacts with him, compared to the way she even reacts to Michaela's introduction. I have never read the books but only watched the series. And if this would be all I knew, that would be my understanding. In the end, Violet was right, and she felt taken by Michaela. So whatever she felt with John was not really love then. Just the most comfortable option in a world that would otherwise be really uncomfortable (if she would have ended up with Lord Samadani, for example).
That's at least how the show represents it. When Francesca kissed John in their weeding, the hesitation and staring to Violet before the kiss and her face after the kiss, first a simple smile and then a long lost stare at the nothingness, you can interpret that she either felt nothing with the kiss or that what she felt was regret.
Again, I just watched the series, so i wonder if Violet was really wrong in doubting the match as she initially did....
i have not read the book either, but i’ve done a little research and here is what i found out: francesca *does* love john in the book. she’s very happy with her marriage and she has no feelings whatsoever for michael (who becomes michaela in the show).
spoiler alert for the rest of the comment
apparently, in the book, the central themes are, grief, infertility, and second love. so john ends up dying-which breaks francesca’s heart. but she dreams of having a child, so she tries to find another husband. she doesn’t even consider michael for a while, he’s the one who starts with feelings for her, but the story is basically about how there are different types of love, and all of them are worthy.
from what i understood, this is also the reason why there was controversy around the end of season 3. not only does michael being a woman impacts the infertility storyline, francesca’s reaction to michaela kind of undermines what the book’s theme was and also what the character had tried to “teach” violet during the entire season (love exists in different forms).
hope this helps!
Weirdly enough, that's something I dislike in the writing. I would've liked to see Violet's character grow in seeing forms of romantic love in different ways. She has been surrounded by dysfunctional relationships aside from her own so in her eyes, her marriage is the standard. It would've been nice seeing her learn that healthy, functional marriage works in different ways, unique to each person aside from the classic 'drama'. So, whilst she IS right that John isn't Francesca's perfect match, I wish the show would've let her be wrong in believing love should be 'loud' (bc in real life, a marriage that functions similarly to John and Francesca, relying heavily on shared interests, hobbies and boundaries tend to be more healthy than the ones that rely on lust, arguments and drama)
Si bien tengo curiosidad por la temporada de Benedit, tengo aun mas curiosidad por ver como sera cuando Eloíse y Philip Crane se enamoren. Y como lo abordara Violet🤔
Just want to point out that it´s actually canon in both the show and books that Violet was muhc more involved in her chilrens life than it was expected and normal back then
The human condition is struggle & finding happy moments & fullfillment to make the struggles worth it. Just because a parent doesnt 1,000% understand her child, doesnt make her a bad parent. Also, you raise your children to move around in the society youre brought up in. She does an admirable job of balancing society's norms to being empathetic to her childrens foibles & personalities.
Loved to see u back ❤sorry to ask... But would u still be releasing that polin relationship analysis video
yes! It’s difficult to explain but these videos just take soooooo much time to rewatch everything, write notes, write a script, record it and then edit the entire thing together. I am still a student and have a lot of other things going on too. I also want to be as thorough as possible with it so it just takes time. Anyway, I promise that it’s coming and I will make it worth the wait! 💓
Loved your videos❤just wanted to know that the video will come or not.pls do take rest too and not pressure yourself.watching the show u love just for work purposes can take the magic out of it ,so do take your time ,so u can rewatch it with the love u have for it rather than fogging it with work blues❤❤(we are polin fans ,we love it when the timing's right and r happy to wait till then)
Edit- sorry i used the 'sweet time ' phrase wrongly earlier😅
I wish you had more videos like this voice over with the show showing and about each character
Omg yesssss!! My bedtime story is here!
Well hello there Sammy always a pleasure never a pain ❤
Let the viewing begin.
To be fair to Violet, most mothers ( excluding queen Charlotte) in this series failed to explain to thier daughters what to expect on thier wedding night.
In season 3 it's what led to the line ' inserts himself? Inserts himself where?'
Though props to lady featherington in that scene because she was trying.
This was a refreshing character dissection. I really enjoyed it.
I've only read the title but the answer better be NO! Violet is my favorite bridgerton ❤
Violet being open and complex is good enough for me. She dealt with the cards she was thrust upon by a restricting society.
I'm curious as to what you think about Cressida Cowper. Because there was some debate on her. Given her circumstances.
Yes, and what does Sammy think about cressida and Eloise as a ship?
Violet, es una buena madre ❤
In that era women had no property rights or rights in general. Men inherited the lands and titles so Antony now outranks her.
Haven't seen the full video yet but personally I think Violet makes perfect sense as a product of her environment, especially from what we've seen of her parents in the Queen Charlotte story. Her mom was a bigoted perfectionist who reinforced societal sexism while her dad did nothing to stand up to her mother. This taught Violet silent resistance. She does her best so that bad things don't happen but it's never in a forward manner. I think people see that and they want her to put up more active resistance. But generationally, she is resisting so much more than her father did before. Her children continue to stand up for themselves way more than she ever did. It's generational healing, but that can be really hard to watch. One of the biggest things that frustrates me with violet is how she refuses to connect with her daughters in an emotionally meaningful way. Like it took her so long to finally connect to Daphne and that whole time Daphne really needed her. Similarly, Eloise also really needs her mother in her life, although she pretends that she doesn't. Eloise has been deeply affected by her mother 's last pregnancy and her father's death but there is no one who she can talk to about it outside of that one conversation with Daphne. But we see the same thing with Violet and her father. While they did connect, her father basically had a whole other life that he kept hidden from her. That is the parent that she is emulating, doing her best to raise her kids but not being able to connect with them and lower those walls.
Ultimately, I just wish the writers were able to bring in all of these complex dynamics better into the writing of the show. I feel like in the first season there were all of these little moments of nuance, like with Eloise and Daphne, but as it has gone on those moments are appearing less and less for the main cast and more for side characters. (Don't get me wrong I love the Mondrich's but they should not be focused on in a show called Bridgerton. Please just give them a spin-off already like the Queen Charlotte story.) I think that everyone in Bridgerton is incredibly flawed, but I have seen some of the female characters get more undue hate like in the case with Violet and Anthony. I think that might be a reflection of our unrealistic expectations for women where we place the responsibility at their feet, even if they have little to no power to change the situation. I mean when she was going through her last pregnancy, Anthony literally had the power to say: “no don't try to save my mother, put all your efforts towards the baby.” Do you think that Violet really has a lot of control? The control that she has is by Anthony's grace. It's the control that he lets her have, and she is painfully aware of that. If his opinion ever shifted to be unfavorable, she could do basically nothing about it except for rely on the grace of her other children.
my show is ONNNNNNN
Calling her a bad mother after seeing her own and the featherington mother is a bit much. She's overbearing because she loves the and wants the best. And she always has to fight to have her opinion heard. Even when she was having the last child they ignored her and even Anthony was going to ignore her until she mentioned the father. He acts like a spoilt child ignoring Kate and trying to marry her sister and trying to marry Daphine off to the older man and getting into a huff when she was spending time with the Duke just because they were friends.
I think that one thing that has a big impact which was discussed in the book is that Violet was actually not like Daphne when she was younger. She mentioned that she was much more like Penelope and was ostracized and bullied until she married her husband and gained power. She was not beautiful or a diamond, but was seen as plain and awkward. She mentions that even with that people didn't think she was good enough for her husband, and she found it very difficult to gain respect and stand beside him as an equal, socially. That's why she's so obsessive about her children fitting in since she doesn't want them to experience the same ridicule that she experienced.
Violet is a good mother and is criticized because she’s female.
Hello.
She wanted her children to find love like she did. That’s how she gets frustrated with Anthony. And like Anthony said, his parents were the exception.
I wish more Moms would care for their children and living their lives to the best advantage.
I just love your deep dives. I haven't found any for seasons 1 and 2. Do you have any?
7:30 The moment before Violet realises Colin is the main of this season and not Francessca.
Violet is a perfectionist who was extremely let down when her perfect little life became ruined the moment she lost her husband and the father of her children. Of course, she resents the children she would now have to raise alone, especially Anthony who replaced Edmund as viscount. What a difficult adjustment for her - to no longer be led by your husband but your immature son.
I think her perfectionism stems from having a parent that she could never quite please. We saw in the Queen Charlotte series that: her mother did not favor her and she was also aware that the relationship between her father and mother wasn’t very affectionate. I think she has childhood trauma.
She did everything to make sure that her own children wouldn’t have to grow up like her and one accident changed that for her. I think she knows that she’s not the perfect mother and it bothers her more than she lets on. In season 2, we saw some of her guilt about it in her “real true love is worth it” conversation with Anthony and in season 3, when she cried about how angry Francesca was with her and Lady Danbury tried to reassure her that she did nothing wrong.
In the season 2 flashback scene when she told Anthony “I’m doing my best” I think she meant it. I also think that she was disappointed with what she considered to be her best at that time because it was far from perfect. I think she wanted to end her life. She even expressed that she wished she died while giving birth to Hyacinth prematurely.
It’s so interesting how she virtually becomes Iike her own mother in her relationship with Anthony. Even when he does what she says, it doesn’t please her.
I also think that one of the reasons that Violet lashes out at Anthony is because he’s in a role that was once occupied by her chosen husband. Anthony could never be her husband or do things just like Edmund had done before because he lacks the skill and maturity and he also has a different personality and that really frustrates her.
Imagine how triggering it must be every time she hears Anthony referred to as “Viscount Bridgerton” to be reminded that Edmund, the man who made her “Viscountess Bridgerton” - a title she still holds, is no longer here.
The parallel between Anthony telling Violet in season 2 “I do not have time for this” and she responds almost tearfully “Well…perhaps you might wish to make time” and in season 3 when Colin gifted her a timepiece which she appreciated very much, explains why Colin is her favorite son. I think out of all her children Colin empathizes with her the most. Clearly he’s picked up that time seems important to her because she does talk about it quite often. I’m curious about why that is.
I think that Eloise is truly scared to end up like her mom - to lose her partner, to give birth alone. She’s also afraid that her own child could end up like her - losing their father who they knew and loved. I think out of all the children, Eloise misses Edmund the most. I think she’s most similar to Anthony in terms of how they’ve not handled the loss very well. However, Anthony could focus on his duty as a way of honoring Edmund and Eloise doesn’t have that. However, I do think that her liking books is partially because her father liked books since he has a whole library. Maybe she started reading them to feel close to him. It’s different for girls. I think some of her insecurity with her appearance too is because she could no longer be “daddy’s little princess” - she’s *beautiful* but maybe no longer hearing it from him made her stop believing it.
I also think that the relationship between Violet and Lady Danbury is beautiful. Even though they’re friends, Lady Danbury is like the mother Violet never had. I like how intuitive, supportive and gentle she is with Violet. Her facial expression in response to the “it is the heat…” comment - lol!
Violet Brigerton was only a bad mother when it came to John. John was nothing but kind and humble,she had no right to hate him.
Who is John
@@bionicwoman9884 Francesca's husband.
I wouldn't go as far as to say all that. She just didn't understand his and Francesca's quiet romance, which is completely unlike the romance she experienced with her husband and saw from other couples. During this period of time, I feel like there really wasn't room for introverted or neurodivergent people in high society because nobility was expected to act a certain way all the time, so seeing two quiet and socially awkward people have a quiet and private relationship was weird for her and hard for her to wrap her head around.
I do like that a mother is allowed to be as human as Violet is, able to spark these large debates on her morals. She's very flawed but this video made me notice how comfortable her children are disagreeing with. They always feel safe enough to voice their opinion which i really respect.
I love violet and her character sm in each Bridgerton season and series. As someone who grew up with toxic parents, and most importantly a mother who never apologized or admits she is wrong I feel like that is the most important part. I think the most important point made in this video was that To acknowledge, apologize and most importantly GROW and change from mistakes makes us good human beings, none of us are without fault. So no, violet bridgerton is not a bad mother.
It feels like they used her as a plot device for long enough that her character became muddled.
Anthony is firmly a big brother than a father figure, the first season is all about him finally becoming responsible than doing the basics and be nurturing. His dalliance/courting/friendship(?) with Kate is what makes him grow up, face his trauma and be present with his family. As we don’t know much in season 3 I think he would be more of a fatherly/wise older bro after marrying Kate. That’s his whole storyline.
The bit about Violet messing up the conversation about sex education is not at all unrealistic. Reminds me of the story about my great-grandmother. My great grandmother hated the thought of doing the sex talk. She poorly explained it to her eldest daughter, and left it to her to explain it to the youngest daughter (my grandmother).
11:24 Now this moment right here is where she got my first big side eye because I understand that she was frustrated with Anthony because he was disrespecting her by using his power over her, but for her to bring up his Dad's watch and ask him to check the time with it was VILE asf. I think that may be the lowest moment of hers in the show so far, but does that make her a terrible mother overall? Of course not. Although she should've apologized to him for what she said and although she could always be more understanding of her kid's feelings, at the end of the day, she just wants what's best for her kids because she knows the ton is RUTHLESS. One wrong move or word from ANY of them and it's game over for the entire family. She also, as we know, wants them to marry for love, not power, which is NOT the norm of most parents of high society at the time and unlike most families at the time, the Bridgertons was the only family in high society where everybody got along for the most part and actually loved each other until the Mondrichs joined the ton in S3, so in conclusion, she may not be the BEST mother, but she's certainly not a terrible one imo.
Violet reminds me of my own mother, and if she were blonde they'd be almost indistinguishable. I pull a lot from her relationship with Eloise as well as Daphne. I'm no Daphne and not so interesting as Eloise, but being a little different from the norm, it was wonderful to have a mom who tried for me even though she didn't necessarily understand. Even when we had our disagreements and altercations, I never doubted her love, so I'm a little biased in Violet's favor. Miss you, mama
Anthony grew up when Kate fell off that horse, just saying. So no, he wasn’t the father figure. He was executing a societal role that put him in a position of power and decision making at a very young age, and that didn’t make him an adult. But being there for 7 children, raising them and securing their future? All Violet, as it should be because she is the parent. I’m excluding Anthony because once you’re are a viscount technically you’re not a child anymore, but still, without their relationship and respect that A has for his mother, he wouldn’t have been able to speak about his feelings, because he still needed parenting and to be guided by a parent.
He became a man when he realized he had to let his trauma go in order to move forward with life and the love he has for Kate, so he stopped being the son of Violet and Edmund who was left in charge, and became Anthony, beloved husband and father, he simply grew up and started healing.
omg I can’t wait to watch this
Judging by those days standards, she was good. Not perfect but she was a good mother.
She is lovely, just right!
Who would say such a thing. All she wants is her kids to have a true love like she did
I think another “problem“ with her character is that Violet just embodies what the Bridgerton universe stands for. Every single one of her children is married in the end, there is none that achieves happiness without romantic love. Violet will always be right about marriage (out of love) being the best thing in the world because it’s literally what the series is about. That kind of overshadows her conflict with Eloise for me because we already know Eloise is wrong and will eventually be proven so. BUT that makes it even better that Violet tries to understand her.
I didn't care for season 1, and as a result, I didn't really watch it closely. This is a great analysis, especially of Anthony and Violet. Season 2 remains my favourite and by then, Violet is much more tender towards Anthony.
People will really say Violet expects her kids to be perfect (I haven’t read the books but from what I’ve seen in the show that is NOT the case) and then clobber her for not doing and saying the perfect thing in every situation as a mother 😂 the irony is impressive
violet is strangely preoccupied with romantic love for a woman in her time period. it's so clear she's written by someone who didn't really understand the regency era. because it's fine if she really wants her kids to have romantic love like she did but the fact that she considers marrying for other reasons an alien concept is just ridiculous. actual love marriges at the time would be kind of rare. people did want them obviously but in real life you have to be practical and deal with the fact that you might not find someone you love in the first place so you have to make do with whoever you do find. anthony's approach might have been cold and clinical but it was also perfectly reasonable. but violet reacts like he's saying he's going to marry a rock
i imagine her position as part of a rich and well respected family probably made it easier for her to care only about love in marriage. she didn’t need any of her kids to marry for financial reasons
Also, Violet's own parents were in a loveless marriage and her mother died when she was idk 12-14? So that might skew the preoccupation with love a bit. And the way Anthony spoke about finding a woman was very dismissive of who they were as a person. It might have been a sound method of trying to choose a wife to fit the role, but having no concern on whether you will get along with a person for your life and only seeing a person as a checked off list does not inspire confidence. Not to mention, Violet is the dowager Viscountess herself, so she can probably imagine what it would be like to be given her position but be married to a man who does not value her as person. In fact, if you base Violet's imagination of the next Viscountess on her and Anthony's relationship, you would probably think that Anthony won't even listen to his wife and allow her to be the important person she should be in society.