Are You Dating Men Who Can’t Get Their Life Together? - Part 1
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- We discuss the term “struggle love,” which is the "ride or die" mentality of a woman who gets into the habit of dating men who can’t get their life together. Real fam, have you ever been guilty of this?
"Where are we riding, and why do I got to die?!?"
I couldve sworn i see that as a meme and i believe thats where she got it from on instagram
Yeah, she said it before on the show too. I didn't really get why Loni was cracking up like she heard it for the first time.
@M Muss No one's unhappy with their life, lol. Just making an observation, no shade intended.
Fire it like biket😂
These are the really important girl talk topics many women need to hear! There are so many women who sadly put up with toxic relationships
Me
Sofie1712 True
True.
@sofie1712 A little off topic, but you're really pretty 😍
Did anybody realize that they curse on their show? Nothing wrong with that but I just didn't think they were aloud to do that.. 😲
Stop raising men who aren’t independent. Too many men out here looking for mommy 2.0. Grow up!
TELL EM!
more like stop dating men who aren't independent
🙌🙌🙌🙌
Considering 43% of men are raised by single mothers. I'm sure we can conclude where the real problem is at.
You tell em' random feminist on the Internet. Go you independent whamen!1!
Struggle love is very real and it is awful, you give way too much energy to someone who does NOT deserve it/you !!!
THIS.
I'm in that struggle love now!
better than being with a good, responsible guy who is boring though
Celly Jordan Preach
@@kimberlybrabson6944 me too girl. What's wrong with us? Lol
Adrienne is right. It all boils down to self-love & how much you love yourself. If you truly love yourself & hold yourself to the highest of standards, you won’t ever settle for someone who’s not treating you the way you deserve to be treated.
If you're dating a man who can't get his life together, you need to ask yourself why you are still with him. Him not being able to get his life together is his problem, you dating him is yours.
Period 💯
I think a lot of women go for guys because they see potential and feel like they could fix them all the way.
I agree they want to build a man and thats not our job
Yeah and that potential has some of us run down in our late 30s and beyond still hoping he can fulfill what we seen (potential) in him; that's depressing.
It's because we have the instinct to nurture, which is meant for our children but misdirect it to 'Tyrone'.
Me lol
Truth!!
These are women who have low self esteem and do not think they can do or deserve any better. Some women are also tied down with kids by the man because they were gullible enough to think having kids solidifies a relationship. Once you realize how much you are worth, you will not stand up for NONSENSE.
yes you will. women love drama or else they get bored. it has nothing to do with self esteem.
No, its easy 4 you to say butbits not. Everyone has a limit
@@etf42 You are either the EXACT type of women with low self esteem their talking about, or just another man that's angry every time women talk about the bullshit many men like to put many women through
i am neither. i am just telling the truth.
Book Bag not all women who are tied down because of kids put themselves in that situation by being gullible. People change over time, especially after having children.
Enjoy your own company I love that Adrienne!
I don’t mind being with someone who doesn’t have it together just yet, but I don’t want to be building every single man that I’m with.
I need someone that can bring something to the table AT LEAST. For instance; hard worker, family oriented, career oriented, God fearing, knows how to budget money, is driven with motivation.... SOMETHING.
These are things that I personally don’t want to have to force on someone.
“Where we riding to and why I gotta die” 😂😂 by the way that rap lol 😩
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 exactly!!!
I recently got out of a relationship, because my ex was unemployed i would help him apply for jobs always i was emotionally exhausted, he would always complain about never spending time together while i busted my ass working always love yourself before others!!
The audience like "no biiish not me" 😂
Yeah but I bet some of them are going through it too.
These 2 who at the front were shaking their hard like, yes girl aha i know😁😂🤣
I dated several struggle guys. Not liars or cheaters, but had a lack of ambition or showed minimum interest in order to date me lazily. I realized that I do not ask more than I myself offer, and I deserve a great relationship, not mediocre. I would rather be single than deal with another struggle relationship.
WOMEN WHO DEAL WITH STRUGGLE LOVE DOESN'T LOVE THEMSELVES ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT THEY DESERVE BETTER!!! I'VE BEEN THERE!!! I WOKE UP!!! I LEVELED UP!!! I DID A WHOLE 360 WITH MY LIFE AND INNER WOMAN!! NOW I'M HAPPILY SINGLE!! UNTIL JESUS SENDS THAT PERFECT FIT!!! LOVE YOURSELVES ENOUGH LADIES TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE PRIZE!!! HAVE SOME MORALS, STANDARDS AND SELF RESPECT!!! WE ALL GO THROUGH THINGS BUT BE THE PERSON WHO GROWS THROUGH THINGS!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!! 😍😘💯
I fall in love with peoples potential . that’s my issues .
Kira Bolden me too
Kira Bolden I feel you girl , me too 😭🤦🏾♀️
Dumbass
There is a difference between loneliness and emptiness.
Everyone should learn how to be ok with being alone. Learn yourself. Love yourself. Emptiness is what attracts bad things and bad relationships.
Being with someone is not a prize for doing something right!! Embrace your singleness before you end up in some struggle love mess!
Agatha jay
My information is from Jungian Psychology.
You are reciting words from the song Jesus Loves Me.
I honestly think there’s a difference between dating a man who you think has potential and dating a man who’s actually tried and REACHED his potential! Some guys are just wishful thinkers & manifest... but I go by a quote that says “ faith without work is dead “ so if he isn’t atleast trying to get his life right then he can’t be in your life and fulfill your needs but ladies also remember it’s not all about what you want... what can you contribute to the relationship as well !
And iyanla vanzant stated potential means your not doing anything now ijs
@@letrice2892 hmm, but that's not true though. Potential is unrealised energy at this point in time.
One can actively be working towards fulfilling /achieving that goal/potential.
Yessss quote the bible sis !!!
I love how Loni is laughing at Addrienne's joke on the Ride or Die chick....lol....that was so cute. Loni have the cutest laugh ever 😊.
Aw I think that people put up and stay in toxic relationships because of certain insecurities that they have. It really saddens me. Or even because of their relationship with their fathers, it really influences the way you choose your partner and what you put up with. I pray everyone finds healing from their insecurities I really do 🙏🏽💕💕💕
Moms as well, teaching "take what you can get" when you aren't getting anything. It doesn't where it comes from it matters that we all break the cycle or teach each other that better is well better. To trust that scraps aren't what we deserve.
I was raised by both my parents to NEVER get into a “struggle love” relationship. That’s the prime reason why I’m a hypergamist. Dating this way has never steered me wrong.
Im new to this hypergamy life but i have heard about it alot recently from a couple of people on social media. Can this work for me if im from a working class background? Lol
Tianna Miller of course it can. You just have to know how to attract a man of men’s. This can mean how your dress, where you hang out and how you take care of yourself. Men of means have options so you have to know how to be that kind of woman without losing yourself in the process.
@@M3l155a Got it! Thank you, Brit.
Brit Ferguson do you have an email I can contact you ?
What is a hypergamist? And what is hypergamy?
Nah fam.. no struggle love over here 🚫
I feel you on a spiritual level ' 👌
ON GOD!!
Say mums?!!
Be what you're looking for. That's my compass when it comes to all my relationships. Give the energy your looking for, the patience, the understanding, the attention, the whatever. Or at least be a complement to those things. BUT when you aren't getting what you give, need or want for more than a phase/rough patch with an end/solution in sight, bow out. Idc if you're 15 years in, 8 months pregnant, about to head down the aisle or just got together, if something doesn't feel right and you've checked yourself first it usually isn't. Trust that instinct and their ACTIONS. No one is perfect or done growing and changing but do not allow anyone to drain you or use you to level up.
I hear no lies... And the stuff that we put up with as women is not the same thing that man would put up with.
Grear points. Struggle love is two sided, some women can't get their stuff together too!
"He has commitment issues, but we love him through it." That's me. I'm grateful for the people who taught me it's possible to struggle love someone, but we need to learn how to self-evaluate and exercise self care before starting a romantic relationship.
The root cause is a lack of self love. But like Iyanla says: you must do your work. Co-dependency is dangerous.
Love yourself enough to not be in a position that u end up in “struggle love”
The enjoying your own company is sooo true!!! I’m naturally an introvert but I do enjoy genuine fulfilling friendships/relationships. And my friends are always surprise that I’m still single at 21. Just cause I look pretty doesn’t mean the guy is going treat me right. I came to terms at 20 that if I don’t enjoy myself no one else will. I rather be single and happy than in a relationship and miserable. That’s why I don’t even waste my time getting into bs relationships just to say I have a BF. It’s okay to be alone. It’s nothing wrong with that ✨
true talk. i'm single at 22 and never had a boyfriend either. I refuse to be pressured into getting one. I must agree with you that just because you're pretty doesn't mean a guy is going to treat you right.
Adrienne killed this ... she irritate me sometimes but she did her thing on this segment
Why are you uploading this nowww Jamal. We need more vids/longer vids of Aden & Ariah from today
Nic lol who is Jamal?
Nina Edwards Jamal, the Intern.
I think he'll probably upload them tomorrow.
Nic I’m pretty sure her name is Christina
Aden and Ariah were not that interesting, they are children, yeah yeah but no thanks
Preach Adrienne. You'll never be happy in a relationship, if you aren't happy while being single. Plain and simple. Date yourself.
What I find curious is the person who continues to keep you in a situation or continually recreates a situation where you are constantly regressing, treading water or doing the same thing over and over so that your arguments look like a "Copy and Paste" from years and arguments from the past
Adrianne I applaud your comment on ladies need to enjoy themselves! If we can't appreciate us! Who will do it for us! Self worth, self love can make a whole lot of difference in one life!
I had to learn the hard way. I had to grow up or lose her forever. Love isn't enough.
I'm not down for any type of struggle love. He's unemployed... NOPE, He's a beater, cheater, no thank you. Next
I would never. I would rather be alone than with a cheater and an abuser. My mother stayed with my dad for over 20 years. He cheated and verbally abused her. He use to call her dumb as a box of rocks. Now she is happily single. I have never seen her so happy.
Well its simple really. We all come from cultures were women have for centuries been conforming to please men because for years having a man was all for status or stability etc... So with that comes the idea that a woman needs a man. And that ideology can be dangerous because it means the woman is willing to do everything to keep a man even if it means risking her mental health. Women are waking up because gender roles arent as they used to be. Why do we still have to do this and do that, or why must we play the feminine, submissive wives or gilfirends in a society were men and women now both work and in a world were a lot of men are asking for so many stereotypical things in a woman but they dont want to fullfill thestereotypical role of a man
Yeah having a man shouldnt be seen as a symbol of status anymore considering how many women are rising up to be powerful leaders in the business world (as well as other fields) and we dont have to rely on men when we have so much going for ourselves. Putting up with nonsense just isnt worth the little affection and effort men give to us.
So true 👏👏👏👏
@@tianamiller6820
Because in the end you just a woman! And no matter how much success you have now a days, it does not and will not equate to having a real flesh n blood man. Alpha men know this! Yeah u can do things on your own...don't mean u should.
@@jarreaubridgeforth5639 im not JUST anything thank you very much😚 and guess what just because we dont have to do things on our own, some of us actually want to. I would pick gaining success over a man any day lol
@@tianamiller6820
Big ups 2 u! I'm not mad @ u! Do what makes you happy. Just my view on your comment. Enjoy your day, u are what u believe!
"Where we ridin' to & why I gotta die" yes Adrienne 😂😂😂
Struggle love is exhausting. That's why I've learned to enjoy my own company for almost two years now. I'm single on purpose.!
I mean struggle love is hard when you are single but I’m not those types that need to date men cause I got no life, loving myself and choosing myself is the best way possible for me right now. 💗💗 Realest you guys.
Basically I’ve been single all my life so I’m chillin 😎 idk why people are so afraid of being alone. You can learn so many new things about yourself and focus on improving yourself as a human being! Then when you become your best self and you meet the one, you’ll know you are not settling for anything less than what you deserve. And if you don’t meet him, you’ll still be cool cuz YOU LOVE YOU.
I just want to say that just like this men come in variations as Loni described so do the women. Educated, professional young and older it doesn’t discriminate. A woman can have it together like a boss in her career and when it comes to love relationships maybe not so much. I don’t think these women are weak I just think when women hit a rough patch in life sometimes outside of professional prowess or financial prowess that giving someone a chance can bring on the “love struggle.” It can happen to anyone! The guy doesn’t have to be a thug either he can be a corporate mogul or a president 👀.
Wake up women! So very true, I love this discussion.
Woow that a verry good principles
I thank God because he knew it was best for me at this point of time in my life for me to not be in a relationship. For me to learn what it is that I like and what I deserve and what it's like to stand alone. I'm becoming better because of it.
Strong woman right here ^^^^^^^^^^^^
Adrienne’s wise words will now be my motto when it comes to men! Love love love her.
Remember, it's still considered struggle love even if he has a job, but not a JOB. If he pays the bills, doesn't ask you for money, but never does better or sets in place the tools for a future of two. You know, the ones that say, "Yea, I'd like to have a kid and be married with you one day.", but what he says and how he lives his life is unparalleled. These types get away with it even longer, they're the ones you might be living with for 5+ years, but never married yet. However, hopefully don't have kids yet, it would be easier for you to leave.
Just ended this relationship thanks for the validation ❤
I ain't riding and dying for no dude just to prove my loyalty to him
I'm so blessed that I was confident enough to not look for love but to let it find me. And it did, so effortlessly. Of course relationships are not perfect but you gotta help each other out through the rough times and never give up if you love the person. But you gotta love yourself first!
We need to let our men be our “ride or dies” just as much as they need it from us - don’t be giving NO ONE what they are not giving u! Simple as that
Adrienne on point 👌
Side note: I enjoy my own company all the time 😂
Struggle love = the pursuit of the ''potential'' of a guy that you mistake as a man.
I wish I heard this when I was younger. Ladies please listen and make smart decisions in life before with every decision you are creative a path for your life .
i agree with the ladies .. i struggled with this early this yr.. i only mved on when i started loving myself.. started thinking that i deserved better
idc how much i like you, if you’re not financially stable, have your own place and are independent i’m not settling down with you.
Lol 😂 if u don't have your own place and are independent I'm not settling down with a woman like u who depends on men
This hit home for me.. these words was so warming for me i just had to replay it back im struggling threw this and wats more worst is that i keep it to myself and not show anyone my struggle so i dont get judged or hear wat i dont want to hear
Modern women: I am strong and independent!
Also modern women: I can't find a strong independent man it's the society's fault!
I really needed to hear this because I have been in a toxic relationship on and off for about 3 years now. I know this relationship is not good but yet I still stay😞. I have some work to do now that I have watched this video.
Well, it's been about a year now since you have posted this comment... How are things going for you....? Have you been able to work your way through??
I just can't stop watching those girlssss love this show even when I disagree with some opinions.
My misery does not need the company of a struggle love!
Omg my last relationship was struggle love , I learned , and never again !!!!
I can’t find a guy who even texts back.
Aishoo 1234 this comment with your picture is killing me hahahah
Try dating women #AllWomenAreLesbians😂😂😂
u just gotta pay the guy $100 per hour for sex
Money guy That’s my entire bank account.
desperate times call for desperate measures
WOW !! This 3 minute video is legit soon helpful and beneficial for every woman going through that struggle love. Awesome
I never heard anything on any show address people who are not permitted to love, under an implied threat of death, i.e. "you will remain healthy as long as you stay alone" , along with "since you're alone, you can help pay our bills since you make more than twice what my wife and I do, and you don't have a wife or children, so what do you need with your money?"
One thing though, I wish Adrienne could just be real and fess up to being proud that she was a ride or die chick but that now she realized it wasn’t worth it. I’ve been watching since the pilot season and it saddens me how quick she is to change her stance on some recycled topics without regard to her past comments. I just don’t want the hypocrisy. I value someone who acknowledges their truth, no matter what it is, even if it changes.
Cant relate....thank you god🙏
#NoStruggleOvaHere
Every strong woman run from struggle love dude please, it was the best decision i made for my future..
It lead me to self love, self discovery, self appreciation, and in the process of lovin on me..it lead my soul mate to me..were happily married. We created a Happy life with no struggles...
God is so great that once you let go of the piles of garbage you are holding onto..you become open to recieve and available to actually carry the gifts he has ordained for you. Trust the process ladies..its scary but theres power in letting go of the things that hold you down.
Peace & Blessings to anyone reading this.
Xoxo
Nikki
1:15 where we riding to and why i gotta die?! AHAHAHA had me loling
"Where we riding to and why I gotta DIE?!" 😂😂 Adrienne is so hilarious! But FOREAL THOUGH!!
Definitely understand. So many women stay with deadbeats because they think that he’s the only one out there for them or they just need a man to survive. I’m not saying it isn’t good to have/want a man, but hunny that man better have is life in order. I don’t have the time to take care of no grown man or deal with his crap.
Side note: I love how Loni adopted the red yarn bracelet Tam and her family embrace.
In puerto rico we call that enchulado.. that is not love. That's lust. The lust for that man and that is why some people put up with it. I dated a guy like that I only put up with it once because he was fine as hell but after that I found something better and more pleasing in every way 🤣😊. I also saw my mom go through it a couple of times I want my mom to find someone good! My mom has been single for 10 years now and she is happy but I want her to find someone!
2:18 SIS IN THE FRONT WAS RE-THINKING HER CHOICESSS😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🗣🗣🗣💯💀 immm doneeee💀😂
Where’s Adrienne’s shirt from???!!!! 😍😍😍
You are not lonely if you enjoy your own company! Amen Sista! 🙏😇
Wow Im going thru a break up and was tempted to go back to my toxic partner.. im so happy i watched this. I deserve better.
They should bring Trent shelton on the show! Like if u agree
jayla murphy he’s awesome
or Derrick Jaxn
Been there done that!! Never again!
this is an awesome subject that I'm so glad you ladies confronted. LOL Adrienne!...I Love what you said...'where are we ridin' to? and why I gotta die? LOL so great. I love to say the only man I ride or die for is JESUS! LOL
Wait. Who are these women giving men money? Damn. I hardly have enough just for myself lol
Omphile Moerane I did because he was “looking for. Job when he got a job his first pay check he would quit like a dumb ass
Most women pay men money in exchange for sex
I never asked a man for money never , but the guy I dated never had a problem with asking me for money, then when I say I didn’t have it he got really mad at me for not giving it to him at one point .🙄
My dad accused me of doing it byI. Wouldn’t give him any money
Not sure why I thought of Tamera through this....
@@madenaknight214 Exactly! ☺
Adrienne's ride or die comment had me rollin'!!!!
lol @ Adrienne "Where we riding to, and why I gotta die" hahahahahaha!
I’m literally finding it hard to enjoy my own company but happy I left. I wish my sister would do the same -.-
THIS WAS RIGHT ON TIME
I'm with Adrienne here.Where are we riding to and why do I gotta die in the process?? Naa fam....You should be loyal to who is loyal to you.
Every 👏men 👏 should 👏 be 👏 like 👏 him 👏
But I am alone and struggle physically, emotionally and financially. I gave up on a 12 plus year relationship because he was an alcoholic and didn't believe it was a problem. Yet, it was a problem that affected his employment, friends and our relationship.
That enjoy your own company thing is truth!
Adrienne saying it's great to be alone but when was she alone?? In the last 15 years she's been single for like a year. Not hating but if she had been more "alone" maybe she wouldn't have so little self-respect and be so desperate to marry Israel
Patricia 99 she was alone for a while after Lenny. She even said on the show she’d had never been single for long before but it was a good thing for her to have tine to herself. But like she said if I was so desperate to be married I woulda married my ex.
How is she desperate? she's been engaged before! You sound like a hater that don't realize you're talking about real people's relationships that you're not a part of.
Patricia 99 you sound so disgustingly bitter. you’re making it out to seem as if she ‘settled’ with israel but the reality is you don’t know her situation at all and israel has helped to bring the good out of her on numerous occasions. keep your bitterness to yourself and keep it pushing because i’m not tryna see this negative energy anymore
TheElolicious that’s real
She was desperate she said she dated a guy for many years he didn't gave her a key for his place, many things, she Invited him to family dinner always flake...she stayed many years in low life relationships until she marry Israel with a lot of baggage cheating and having secrets kids with the side piece.....just saying
Lord knows I’ve been through the struggle love. Lol neeeeever again bro.
The queen in the audience at 2:18 with the round hoops and slicked low bun with the mid-part.
Please bless us with a tutorial on that sickening look asap 😍! Her face beat is immaculate!!!
I need that blouse Ade got on!
Men advocate struggle love for women but will never go through struggle love themselves.
Love them for speaking about this I actually feel so much better now I used to think I was only dumb one going through it
I ain't for that struggle. Nope not me.
It’s not just women, don’t forgot about the guys out here too lol
Why isit anytime women are talking about our issues guys always interject and say 'what about us?!'. The world revolves around your needs :/ This is a womens show, of course theyre only going to talk about it from a woman's point of view lol
Ok calm down Debby Down, I love the show and love watching Girl Chat. I just wanted to say that guys are like that too. You’re the one who tries to start things that shouldn’t be started that starts drama!!
Peace & Blessings to you boo!
😘
@@carlosramirez7925 great that you love the show but no ones starting drama. Just pointing out an obvious fact lol. Men arent the target audience so their not gonna speak on behalf of them. Have a great evening!😚
Well keep in mind their all women. So they can say "men too" but they can't really speak for men unless they have witnessed a man go through it.
You all look so beautiful today ladies!!! 😘
"Where are we going and why i gotta die?" 😂😂😭
Keep the same energy if a group of men sit together and make a similar video about women. Yay for Equality.
This hit me right in the denial. ooooohhh child, I'm choppin' you out of my life.
Looking lovely ladies! I love the colors and the velvet! I have been in struggle love since I was old enough to be in love😢