They probably work in a stressful environment and when you wait on customers that's part of the job...well here...besides 99% of the time I'm sure you get nothing but respect!
Phasemental Supranatural That's hard to say tbh... In recent years there's been more and more employment of foreign workers in order to cope with the increasing number of both English speaking and Chinese speaking customers. Strangely, despite China's horror tourists reputation, the Chinese workers in Japan I met recently are by far, way more polite than other individuals from India, Philippines, or Indonesia. There were a few convenience stores in Ikebukuro that were 100% maned by foreigners only, and their attitude wasn't that great. Maybe 90% of quality service these days. No longer 99% or 100% quality service like several years ago. It's a pity.
I have to say, the girl with the punk look and that guy with the glasses are really cute together. I love how he said basically he was worried on don't because he wants to be the best on their dates! O laughed when he even kept pointing that he was carrying her stuff. I really do they end up happy together. I really do.
They look cute together but I am more skeptical. I think he kept pointing at her stuff because he didn't feel acknowledged enough or appreciated enough for his action. He likes her more than she likes him based on the way they look at each other, the distance the stand apart from each other, and based on their general body language.
Well actually you can interpreter it into Western cutlery as well. When a girl holds a spoon or a fork in a sophisticated way, use it with care and slowly putting small portion of food into her mouth, it can look appealing because if it's used in a right way, you can put emphasize on your fingers, wrist and lips. Having a beautiful hand can make a girl very attractive and eating with cutlery can show how you use your hands. It doesn't look good when you just grab them, cut the food too harshly and then stuff your mouth, it just looks to vulgar. So it's the same with chopsticks even though it's even harder to use them.
Picking the chpsticks right, holding it right and also leaving in right is an important skill in Japan that anyone should have it. If that person doesn't know how to handle the chopsticks correctly and politely it means that the're are uneducated and rude, japanese people dislike that, to the point where they might not even be interested in you. Yes that's how important chopstick skills are.
I like the cuteness of Japan...like covering your face and laughing when you say that you want to hold hands. Laughing in general. Not looking like a grump and not being sarcastic all the time. It's quite refreshing (and I lived there and it didn't get old).
Totally opposite here in the Netherlands, men would mostly never carry women's bags because of emancipation. Most women would also want to decide where to go on the date and of course, the bill is almost always split. Also when buying something most will assume their date to buy something in return, otherwise it's kinda rude.
Jack dN well of course, I think it is just part of equality. Most people hete date for love, but financial independence is for many also important. Now this is different when you are younger and go to college/school. But most Dutch people would want to be a team with their partner so they have more shared income. Sharing is caring right?
Being rude to people who work in customer service is a deal-breaker for me. Also, I don't drink alcohol much anymore, so I won`t pay for it on a date. Cathy Cat and Director-san, thank you for such entertaining and valuable information!
What's with that "you do everything and I'll follow" mindset lol what if they dont like it? Theyre gonna have to sit there and wait anyways while the guy thinks of a new plan. Carry my stuff. Pay the bill. Just do everything. Idk about that lol
From what I understand, they seem to prefer a man that can lead and probably expect them to at least try to "read their minds". I think this can also apply sometimes to western women, for example, the infamous scenario where the man ask the woman, what do you want to eat? And she responds with, "wherever you want". Only for the man to take her to a place that she doesn't like. What she actually meant by that answer was, "you know me, you should know which places are my favorite if you truly love me", she expects her man to read the air and between lines to understand without her saying explicit where she wants to go.
2:52 THIS, she just pointed out a general problem. I like social media too, but on a date (not only romantically, but when hanging out with friends too) I want us to enjoy the moment, not staring at the phone
That whole "you make all the decisions" gets tiresome after a while. If you don't have the capacity to come up with something every now and then, I'm not gonna put up with being your personal amusement coordinator. Find a hobby or something.
It's nice to let him make all the plans for the date once in a while but not in *every* date we go to. Like, i would prefer it way more if sometimes i plan where to go or what to do. Sounds more fun that way.
when a guy invites a girl on a date,it is good the girl to calm him by saying that she will come only if they split the bill. That will make nice impression on him
So basically, a date in Japan starts (on time!) early, you go shopping, you carry her luggage (and, presumably, the shopping) AND you hold hands, while you don't decide what to do, but she expects you to decide what to do. No wonder Japan has such a low birth rate.
Sounds like you just want a reason to be mad at women. You are combining everything they said as if all of that is how every woman feels. One just wants you to not be aggressive to workers and hold their hand. If that is too demanding, then that's a you problem.
The "correct" way. :) They kind of have a way they deem correct. Like when you hold a pen, you shouldn't grip it like a pole, but rather put it between your fingers a certain way.
I found that point interesting. I began to notice how people people hold their knifes and forks and it bothers me if they don't hold and use them in the traditional european manner.
When you eat with chopsticks, the closer your hand is to the food, the lower class it appears. Children eat with their hand close to the food because they don't have good dexterity yet. It looks better if your hand is higher up on the chopsticks. And your chopsticks should be parallel and not cross.
This is so crazy because women in the States (US) don't really like it when the guy picks everything because 9 out of 10 times, they pick something the girl doesn't like. Plus women do like surprises but men in the US think the surprises need to be some crazily thought out thing but just heading to a park instead of a restaurant is a nice date surprise too. Also, women aren't poor or struggling....WOMEN CAN PAY FOR DATES TOO! I hate a guy that thinks he has to be a sugar daddy and pay for everything. I pay one date, you pay the other.
@@KingsRightBe realistic. That doesn't happen. Guys are by and large the initiators and the approachers, so we are the ones to ask girls out 95% of the time. So what you're saying is "men must pay for dates." I think we should leave gender roles like that in the past. Girls can afford to pay for dates and split. They make just as much if not more in some cases than the man they're on the date with. Why is it then that he must always pay? This isn't the medieval courting time period where woman were seen as maidens needing to be taken care of and provided for. That whole culture is done and to continue it is sexist for both genders.
Do you personally agree with the Japan's dating philosophy of having everything planned out in advance and the other following along? Or do you believe things should be more equal between both parties?
I have to say, I kinda agree with them. I personally like the guy to plan ahead if he's the one asking me out on a date. I can be very indecisive when choosing so I like it if he plans it and I tags along. Of course, we can still change it if something arises. I do know that guy ask the girl to be considerate but in my case, it gave me a hard time... Also, that guy made me waited 4 hours for him when he's the one who wanted to meet at 11am ... T.T I was about to cancel the date (sorry I'm rambling..)
Well, sure, I can see your point. But he made me choose everything for the whole date so it's a little uncomfortable for me since I had asked and he agreed to plan for the date. We had a week before the date so it made me feels like he's unprepared? Like he did not have anything plan or in mind for the date.
Haha, thanks. It's been a year since it, nothing really changes with him. He claimed he's serious but I don't see any effort on his side so I am not dating him or thinking of it. I'm just going to focus in school and saving money to go to Japan~
Awh that's nice! I wanted to study abroad in Japan during my High School year, but my mom wouldn't let me T.T and my college doesn't offer study abroad program in Japan... So, I'm just going to save money to go visit my friend there and explore.
Bad experience with dating a guy. I went to Japan to visit him, carrying a 24kg suitcase and backpack. When moving between hotels and going up and down stairs. He said, without me asking "I'm not carrying your stuff. Its your luggage, carry it yourself". I obviously was having trouble lugging the suitcase up flights of stairs. I didnt ask him to carry it, I didnt even verbally complain that it was heavy. He just said that. I immediately wanted to break up. And I wish I did at that point to be honest. Not a good person (ended up cheating).
Plan something that both parties enjoy withought thinking of your own interests only. The little things like opening doors and sometimes really protecting the girl and taking note if there is a bit of sketchy situation going on. As for donts you should not force your opinions and beliefs onto the other person. Epic video waiting for more 😆💕
This is not a new topic, been quiet a few of these, and a common theme is that the girls wants the guys to do all planning and they tag along. Guys wants the opposite or have a conversation about it. Do these people actually go on dates or is it that there's never a second one?
These mostly apply to other cultures I think. Although the culture of being higher than the worker exists to that extent in Japan, it is in America, too. With younger people, however, people really dislike mistreating workers.
i would say you shouldn't just plan out everything like others also have. a plan is good to have though. in exchange for this have several different options ready for the different situations and ask is there a certain kind of place you want/don't want to go to. this way you can make an elimination decision by choosing the preferred kind of place or avoid the "bad" place
It's interesting how they mention not being rude to waitstaff. When I went on my first date as a teenager that's the first piece of advice my dad gave me. I guess it must be universally applicable.
If was early on (first date) in the relationship I would be asking her what type of restaurant that she would like to go to as I would be looking for clues to any allergies or special dietary issues she may have and whether she liked spicy or non spicy foods. It would put a huge set back if you took her too a place where she could not eat the food because of a condition that she has.
The responses, particularly by the ladies, are literally universal rules of dating, even if those answers differ in Western culture. Women do instinctively want exactly the same things from a guy that asks them out. Be on time, be kind, and social, make a plan that's fun, not necessarily expansive, surprise and spontaneity, respectful/considerate behavior, good/ gentlemanly manners, being intuitive to how she is feeling. All women will like and respond well to an experience like that regardless of country or culture. Shocking, I know.
Generally they are good natured but not all the time. They have an optimistic view of life. Hard in the U.S. when you must worry about someone going to whack you.
Phasemental Supranatural Phasemental Supranatural Apparently 50 / 50 so nothing new 😂😂 Some like holding their hand some not, some want to be tretead special and in front of some the boy has to be cool. But one thing is always similar you are not allowed to ask them how they want it 😁😀👌
Me planning out the whole date and just dragging her along is the reason I probably couldn't date a Japanese woman. I would be looking for a partner to share my life with, not a follower who waits for me to make all decisions. If I wanted followers I'd start my own youtube channel. That works for some people, and that's fine, just not for me.
I'd like my date to suggest things too. If you plan it together you enjoy it together more. I guess being Dutch the polder model is just ingrained in me. :3
I have never been on a date but i have watched many, and i hate it when girls expect the guy to pay for the food. Especially when when the girl orders something really pricey , then all the pressure is on the guy to pay???? That just stupid.... Yeah u wanna be treated special but like srsly have consideration for the guys wallet 😑 😂😂😂🤔
My mom is this way. I think it's okay to split the bill every once in a while as I think it's considerate and also kind. Mainly if you're dating someone with the idea of finding a spouse treating them fairly is important in my opinion. They are not an Atm machine,they are human who work hard to earn their money. If a guy wants to pay, so be it, but I don't see anything wrong with paying for something for him in return. It seems the most respectful.
She's not Japanese, but my current girlfriend and I just alternate paying for meals. Of course that's easier to do when the two of you make similar incomes and have a similar net worth...
kinda bugs me that half of them want to put in 0 effort for dates and just make the guy do everything and follow what they do. Like okay, just put the pressure on the guy while you sit there and look pretty and contribute nothing. I guess it's a cultural thing but that one just irks me. It would be nice for a women to plan the date for once and do things.
yes, it's a very Japanese thing. 8 girls out of 10 would want you to make all the decisions and plan the date from the 1st to the last minute. as a result it's not a surprise that by the end she can be angry/bored/unsatisfied etc because she actually wanted to go to another place and/or to do another things. but they still dream about an extrasensory-person that can "read the air" and knows everything she wants when she's telling him nothing about it. And the worst thing is that it's really common among Japanese girls.
I’ve been living in Japan for 6 years. Some women (not all) want the gentle prince package where the guy does all the planning and they just listen to them and act cute. That is 80%. Some are wanting a guy who avoids social norms and is unfashionable. Some like a prick towards their expectations. For the most part, females here are really modest and super considerate of your views. So, they want you to lead (especially in the first couple months).It’s courtship orientated a lot so yes.. putting in the work to show she’s your world, and hoping she picks you.
A little late for this, but the girl with the dark green baseball cap is 100% my type both looks and based on what she says (provided that what she says is exactly how it is lol).
I know I should be watching the video but the 2 guys passing by at 5:59 especially the second guy (black t-shirt with yellow stuff at the back) are so handsome xD
I'm really surprised the being rude to waiters and waitresses answer was so common considering it's Japan. It's embarrassing enough seeing it here in the states, which is one of the things that makes me shy away from the service industry (despite hopefully soon starting a 3D printing company of my own.) I think the girl wanting the guy to take the lead and have everything planned out is common here, at least where I live in the USA. I've never personally been with a girl who prefers that, but when I was checking out dating sites that was a very common thing when people would describe their ideal dates. Personally I'm okay with that once in a while, but I would much prefer something more mutual. If I'm trying to learn more about her and spend time with her I'd like to do at least some of the things that interest her rather than just exclusively stuff I'm interested in. Sure I could try to guess what she might like, but there's only so much I can do about that and there's no guarantee she would like it. Again, I'm okay with it once in a while, and I'd be okay with her picking out everything once in a while as well. I just think it would be boring and awkward on a first date and if done all the time. I kind of got the impression that Cathy Cat was looking back at Director-san and was like: "You'd better make a mental note of this."
I live in the USA and if I'm on a date I would prefer if a guy initially plans it out just because I feel if a girl plans the "date" the guy wouldn't feel as though it were a real date. Men here like to plan out intimate stuff in their own special ways I feel. Also some don't for me are like don't kiss on a first date or do anything you aren't comfortable doing. Holding hands could be fine but it honestly depends on how comfortable you feel. I think it'd be good if the guy asked to hold your hand instead of just taking it without getting permission. Also, I feel that the guy shouldn't have to pay on the first date for both. Splitting the check is perfectly fine because more women in the USA are proud to be independent and feel as though a guy paying for them is the start of becoming dependent on someone else. Just my thoughts though.
Loren. You are on a date with Hugh Jackman and you re going to be upset if he holds your hand. It is going to depend upon how handsome and charming is the man. One man you may not even want to sit with while another you are doing it at his place.
I really want to visit Japan and experience the culture and environment :( Wonder how it feels interacting with natives as well? Got Japanese friends here as well though (they're very respectful). Girls are kinda airheaded most of the times as well 😂
It's my birthday in about 3 weeks, then the week after that is my girlfriend's birthday and the day after that is prom. Wish me luck that it goes well xD
Japanese women are very different from European. I would even go so far as the Japanese women care more than the European. I cant Suffer when People are to late in general. The statement of the young woman at 7:07 min "Enjoying little things in life" would suit me .. Money does not make you happy but it calms down a bit. Wish U a nice Weekend Cathy Cat :P
It gives you options. That lard butt boss chewing at you daily. With bucks you can tell him to take his job and shove it. No bucks you have to take his crap.
Okay, one question: In japan family is really important. and i guess just like in the rest of the world, picking up your phone while dating is considered rude or gives the impression of "ur boring, i talk to someone else." (next to the fact it was mentioned in the video, but they talked about "All the time" and not one call). if your mother calls you, is it now rude or reasonable? me for example would ask her, if it was okay because of it bein my mother calling me. good or bad idea?
I really like how it started the first chick's statement was a bullz eye! Btw I luv eating with chopsticks but I didn't know a chick would judge me based on holding chopsticks lol WoW
In many places in the west, you go out and the girl will see how you handle the knife, fork and spoon and if you know which fork is the salad fork. Things can be different. US you drop the fork to pick up the knife. Europe you hold the knife in the other hand.
I disagree with splitting the bill, if you asked her on a date then cough up the money and pay. Why ask her on a date if you’re not willing to pay for it ? Same goes for females if you asked him on a date pay for it don’t expect him to pay for you when you asked to go out.
Sometimes you pay the account when yo go on a date,but nowadays some girls want to pay the middle,for me it´s good but some others prefer that you pay the account,for me It´s normal,you must be gentleman.
I would really hate it,if she spends pretty much most of the date texting with friends, instead of actually engaging with me,since the whole point of going out on a date is to see if one is compatible or not by trying to get to know that person.So Cathy Cat what are your DOES and DONT'S?
Really? When I lived in Helsinki I had the impression that both men and women there are quite progressive and rarely live by those stereotypes anymore. Although, from a female perspective I noticed that a lot of Finnish men are too shy to approach women (except when drunk of course). They often will literally hide in the corner of the bar/event and not look at anyone. Friends have told me that they are hoping that a woman will come basically like a princess charming and rescue them out of their shell of insecurities. I think this is so sad. I have met so many wonderful men over there who thought so little of themselves. But I guess the general (emotional) distance that is normal between strangers in Finland is not contributing much to the development of higher self-esteem. Anyways, I am rambling. Sorry for that. I just wanted to say that I think you probably do not have any reason to hate yourself. I am sure you are a wonderful person and capable to have an amazing relationship. Have a lovely day 💕
@@speedyspeedgirl1778 You nailed that description of Finnish men 100%. What I meant by my comment is that I think the women in this video are more honest than Finnish women about what they want. It seems almost like admitting you want any kind of assertiveness from a man is seen as a weakness for women, or something. Everyone has to be empowered, independent, not needy etc. I think the pressure for "equality" is so strong here that women are almost forced to be men. When I wrote that comment, I was single, and now I'm dating a very atypical Finnish woman, and still agree with my previous comment though. My girlfriend is brutally honest, and also hates Finnish culture. By self hating finn, I didn't mean I hate myself, I meant I hate being Finnish, and still do. But now I can do it with my GF, lol. Rant for a rant. =)
That sounds like a wonderful woman you found for yourself! You must be an awesome couple! It is quite funny: many Finns (men and women) have actually complained to me and said the same things as you said. That they do not like those Finnish ways. But they admitted it is easier for them to open up to foreigners who do not come from that culture and still have trouble breaking the stereotypes in contact with other Finns. So it is really awesome that you and your GF are able to do that!
TLDR: Men, do everything. Women, try to look cute. 😥 Man the gender norms in Japan really bothers me. I hope there's atleast some ladies there who are much more leveled with me.
Daju it’s because their society is still very conservative. And generally men are expected to pay on dates for a number of reasons dating far back to a more conservative society and a time when women couldn’t really work or make income or be educated, and then women spent their money all on appearance and getting ready to be presented and taken on dates which was seen as a service and thing to do FOR the man. So it was seen like she pays to look really good (clothes, hair, accessories, make up, sometimes cosmetic surgery, etc) and the guy paid for the meal stuff and event
man, having the guy do everything for you on the date??? thats so weird to me, if its something we're doing together, I would want to be involved. Knowing the place, choosing it together. etc like I get the guy suprising you sometimes, but all the time???? nah
It is usually only on the first couple of dates until you get to know one another. For all you men. You are not getting some loving from her until she is your official gf. Just hooking up does not cut it.
Interesting that one of the guys said that the male shouldn’t decide everything about the date, but one of the girls said they would prefer it if the guy leads them on the date.
I think she was talking about the first couple of dates. On the date engage her in conversation and you will learn what she likes and does not like. Keep the first date neutral. No MMA fights. If she is Japanese, likely you cannot go wrong with a Japanese restaurant. Go dancing. American men do still dance don't they? You can find out the hottest club in Tokyo and take her there. Hold her hand. Japanese girls go nuts over that. Just be a gentleman, cool and charming. Don't be a jerk.
Gosh that's a lot of responsibilities for the guys :X I suck at planning and being creative or romantic. So planning the day for a date is the worst nightmare for me, i'd like to do what she wants not what i want, because that's just selfish (besides which I'd most likely just want to play video games or smth) :D
I'd much rather split the check for dinner dates. However, if he wants to pay I might let him. I'd rather get the details before we go. I guess I don't like surprises that much. Although it might depend on how long we've been together. However, I would like the man to take charge and take the lead. Take me on our pre-planned date. LOL.
Man is sitting with his sweetie in a restaurant and she is telling him how materialistic things turn her off. Then he says. Well I have these diamond earrings I was going to give you. She then says. Who am I to refuse a gift that came straight from the heart. Don't be a Gold digger but don't be a schmuck either.
I also wonder how Cathy or The Director comes up with these questions or ideas for the interviews??🤔🤔🤔🤔 cuz i have alot of questions about japanese people that i cant find the answer too
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What's up with Japanese men being rude af with waiters and shopping assistants? XD
right? XD I was wondering about that too lol
I was wondering the same thing too tbh, 😂😂 its always nice to treat people how YOU want to be treated.
They probably work in a stressful environment and when you wait on customers that's part of the job...well here...besides 99% of the time I'm sure you get nothing but respect!
Phasemental Supranatural do you live there ?
Phasemental Supranatural
That's hard to say tbh... In recent years there's been more and more employment of foreign workers in order to cope with the increasing number of both English speaking and Chinese speaking customers. Strangely, despite China's horror tourists reputation, the Chinese workers in Japan I met recently are by far, way more polite than other individuals from India, Philippines, or Indonesia. There were a few convenience stores in Ikebukuro that were 100% maned by foreigners only, and their attitude wasn't that great. Maybe 90% of quality service these days. No longer 99% or 100% quality service like several years ago. It's a pity.
I have to say, the girl with the punk look and that guy with the glasses are really cute together.
I love how he said basically he was worried on don't because he wants to be the best on their dates! O laughed when he even kept pointing that he was carrying her stuff.
I really do they end up happy together. I really do.
They look cute together but I am more skeptical. I think he kept pointing at her stuff because he didn't feel acknowledged enough or appreciated enough for his action. He likes her more than she likes him based on the way they look at each other, the distance the stand apart from each other, and based on their general body language.
He said that he didn't want to say any don'ts for her because he'd get into trouble with her.
@@KyrstOak he didn't want to get whipped. So kinky dude. Would smash.
Only if she agrees orange man bad though
Boy she is too kawaii for that creepy ugly guy. For real
She needs the Scandinavian type. Blonde tall handsome pretty
Waitress: **Brings out wrong order**
Japanese man: *THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING ME MALLET!*
I'm still wondering what the sexiest way to hold chopsticks is.
2 years later and Im still wondering bro
😂😂😂 is there tho?
Step 1) Be attractive. That's it, then everything you do, say, or wear will be done "sexily"
Well actually you can interpreter it into Western cutlery as well. When a girl holds a spoon or a fork in a sophisticated way, use it with care and slowly putting small portion of food into her mouth, it can look appealing because if it's used in a right way, you can put emphasize on your fingers, wrist and lips. Having a beautiful hand can make a girl very attractive and eating with cutlery can show how you use your hands.
It doesn't look good when you just grab them, cut the food too harshly and then stuff your mouth, it just looks to vulgar.
So it's the same with chopsticks even though it's even harder to use them.
Picking the chpsticks right, holding it right and also leaving in right is an important skill in Japan that anyone should have it. If that person doesn't know how to handle the chopsticks correctly and politely it means that the're are uneducated and rude, japanese people dislike that, to the point where they might not even be interested in you.
Yes that's how important chopstick skills are.
I like the cuteness of Japan...like covering your face and laughing when you say that you want to hold hands. Laughing in general. Not looking like a grump and not being sarcastic all the time. It's quite refreshing (and I lived there and it didn't get old).
Totally opposite here in the Netherlands, men would mostly never carry women's bags because of emancipation. Most women would also want to decide where to go on the date and of course, the bill is almost always split. Also when buying something most will assume their date to buy something in return, otherwise it's kinda rude.
In other words, in the Netherlands, they "go Dutch". :)
remyzo Dude thats cool af, splitting the bill and stuffs
Do dutch men still want to marry dutch women?
Jack dN well of course, I think it is just part of equality. Most people hete date for love, but financial independence is for many also important. Now this is different when you are younger and go to college/school. But most Dutch people would want to be a team with their partner so they have more shared income. Sharing is caring right?
that's how it should be
Being rude to people who work in customer service is a deal-breaker for me. Also, I don't drink alcohol much anymore, so I won`t pay for it on a date.
Cathy Cat and Director-san, thank you for such entertaining and valuable information!
What's with that "you do everything and I'll follow" mindset lol what if they dont like it? Theyre gonna have to sit there and wait anyways while the guy thinks of a new plan. Carry my stuff. Pay the bill. Just do everything. Idk about that lol
Seriously..... Its 2018,and everyone here wants to date like its the 1950's... Thx,but no...
Japan’s kinda socially backwards. Explains the high suicide rate and low birth rate.
From what I understand, they seem to prefer a man that can lead and probably expect them to at least try to "read their minds". I think this can also apply sometimes to western women, for example, the infamous scenario where the man ask the woman, what do you want to eat? And she responds with, "wherever you want". Only for the man to take her to a place that she doesn't like. What she actually meant by that answer was, "you know me, you should know which places are my favorite if you truly love me", she expects her man to read the air and between lines to understand without her saying explicit where she wants to go.
Being rude to waiters/waitresses or store staff is a huge red flag in ANY country.
"Holding my bag" dude behind her taps bag strap lol
2:52 THIS, she just pointed out a general problem. I like social media too, but on a date (not only romantically, but when hanging out with friends too) I want us to enjoy the moment, not staring at the phone
That whole "you make all the decisions" gets tiresome after a while. If you don't have the capacity to come up with something every now and then, I'm not gonna put up with being your personal amusement coordinator. Find a hobby or something.
It's nice to let him make all the plans for the date once in a while but not in *every* date we go to. Like, i would prefer it way more if sometimes i plan where to go or what to do. Sounds more fun that way.
when a guy invites a girl on a date,it is good the girl to calm him by saying that she will come only if they split the bill.
That will make nice impression on him
So basically, a date in Japan starts (on time!) early, you go shopping, you carry her luggage (and, presumably, the shopping) AND you hold hands, while you don't decide what to do, but she expects you to decide what to do. No wonder Japan has such a low birth rate.
Sounds like you just want a reason to be mad at women. You are combining everything they said as if all of that is how every woman feels. One just wants you to not be aggressive to workers and hold their hand. If that is too demanding, then that's a you problem.
@@pinkflamingos69 What on earth are you on about? I'm commenting on the video, not on women. Sheez.
She looks at how he holds chopsticks, so how does she want him to hold them?
Introvert what if I don't know how to hold chopsticks :(
The "correct" way. :)
They kind of have a way they deem correct. Like when you hold a pen, you shouldn't grip it like a pole, but rather put it between your fingers a certain way.
Sora Aoki Well thats what im asking, what is the right way?
I found that point interesting. I began to notice how people people hold their knifes and forks and it bothers me if they don't hold and use them in the traditional european manner.
When you eat with chopsticks, the closer your hand is to the food, the lower class it appears. Children eat with their hand close to the food because they don't have good dexterity yet. It looks better if your hand is higher up on the chopsticks. And your chopsticks should be parallel and not cross.
This is so crazy because women in the States (US) don't really like it when the guy picks everything because 9 out of 10 times, they pick something the girl doesn't like. Plus women do like surprises but men in the US think the surprises need to be some crazily thought out thing but just heading to a park instead of a restaurant is a nice date surprise too. Also, women aren't poor or struggling....WOMEN CAN PAY FOR DATES TOO! I hate a guy that thinks he has to be a sugar daddy and pay for everything. I pay one date, you pay the other.
KingsRight this seems like a dying trend but I agree
KingsRight in my experience it never happens
@@KingsRightBe realistic. That doesn't happen. Guys are by and large the initiators and the approachers, so we are the ones to ask girls out 95% of the time. So what you're saying is "men must pay for dates." I think we should leave gender roles like that in the past. Girls can afford to pay for dates and split. They make just as much if not more in some cases than the man they're on the date with. Why is it then that he must always pay? This isn't the medieval courting time period where woman were seen as maidens needing to be taken care of and provided for. That whole culture is done and to continue it is sexist for both genders.
Do you personally agree with the Japan's dating philosophy of having everything planned out in advance and the other following along?
Or do you believe things should be more equal between both parties?
I have to say, I kinda agree with them. I personally like the guy to plan ahead if he's the one asking me out on a date. I can be very indecisive when choosing so I like it if he plans it and I tags along. Of course, we can still change it if something arises.
I do know that guy ask the girl to be considerate but in my case, it gave me a hard time...
Also, that guy made me waited 4 hours for him when he's the one who wanted to meet at 11am ... T.T I was about to cancel the date (sorry I'm rambling..)
Well, sure, I can see your point. But he made me choose everything for the whole date so it's a little uncomfortable for me since I had asked and he agreed to plan for the date. We had a week before the date so it made me feels like he's unprepared? Like he did not have anything plan or in mind for the date.
I think change is important. Sometimes he decide everything, sometimes me and sometimes together
Haha, thanks. It's been a year since it, nothing really changes with him. He claimed he's serious but I don't see any effort on his side so I am not dating him or thinking of it. I'm just going to focus in school and saving money to go to Japan~
Awh that's nice! I wanted to study abroad in Japan during my High School year, but my mom wouldn't let me T.T and my college doesn't offer study abroad program in Japan... So, I'm just going to save money to go visit my friend there and explore.
The girl shaming her friend was so cute. "i hate wen people are late" " I was late" 😂😂
The way her friend apologizes is adorable.
This 60 FPS assault on my eyes... I'm loving it.
Living Despair it’s a beautiful assault really :).
Bad experience with dating a guy.
I went to Japan to visit him, carrying a 24kg suitcase and backpack. When moving between hotels and going up and down stairs. He said, without me asking "I'm not carrying your stuff. Its your luggage, carry it yourself". I obviously was having trouble lugging the suitcase up flights of stairs. I didnt ask him to carry it, I didnt even verbally complain that it was heavy.
He just said that. I immediately wanted to break up. And I wish I did at that point to be honest. Not a good person (ended up cheating).
Plan something that both parties enjoy withought thinking of your own interests only.
The little things like opening doors and sometimes really protecting the girl and taking note if there is a bit of sketchy situation going on.
As for donts you should not force your opinions and beliefs onto the other person.
Epic video waiting for more 😆💕
This is not a new topic, been quiet a few of these, and a common theme is that the girls wants the guys to do all planning and they tag along. Guys wants the opposite or have a conversation about it.
Do these people actually go on dates or is it that there's never a second one?
Cathy Cat 😻and Director-san👨🏻⚖, thanks for the info. I really like this channel! 😊
These mostly apply to other cultures I think. Although the culture of being higher than the worker exists to that extent in Japan, it is in America, too. With younger people, however, people really dislike mistreating workers.
DO'S *
Not her native language but it's hard to believe because her English is amazing! So is her Japanese. I cannot wait to hear her speak German.
CathyCat is not the editor and uploader on this channel Phasemental.
HarbingerOfTruth1 that's true sometimes I forget that Directors native language is also not English :9
Actually it's Dos. No apostrophe there.
krazzysu Uno's dos tres quatros
Someone who picks up on her emotions without asking... good luck with that
03:59 *damnnnnn girl I love your laughter*
The yelling in the background at 4:33 made me laugh so hard
i would say you shouldn't just plan out everything like others also have. a plan is good to have though. in exchange for this have several different options ready for the different situations and ask is there a certain kind of place you want/don't want to go to. this way you can make an elimination decision by choosing the preferred kind of place or avoid the "bad" place
whole date is a mystery and he decides it all. and thats how you get abducted
I love the purple haired girls outfit it's so cute 💜 also the ginger haired boy was kinda cute 😜
That guy the pink haired girl was with was creepy tho
It's interesting how they mention not being rude to waitstaff. When I went on my first date as a teenager that's the first piece of advice my dad gave me. I guess it must be universally applicable.
You betcha but not always applied.
If was early on (first date) in the relationship I would be asking her what type of restaurant that she would like to go to as I would be looking for clues to any allergies or special dietary issues she may have and whether she liked spicy or non spicy foods. It would put a huge set back if you took her too a place where she could not eat the food because of a condition that she has.
1:00 girl with long brown hair is so cute
The responses, particularly by the ladies, are literally universal rules of dating, even if those answers differ in Western culture. Women do instinctively want exactly the same things from a guy that asks them out. Be on time, be kind, and social, make a plan that's fun, not necessarily expansive, surprise and spontaneity, respectful/considerate behavior, good/ gentlemanly manners, being intuitive to how she is feeling. All women will like and respond well to an experience like that regardless of country or culture. Shocking, I know.
Family guy nailed how a group of Japanese girls react, they laugh at anything!
Generally they are good natured but not all the time. They have an optimistic view of life. Hard in the U.S. when you must worry about someone going to whack you.
I really like the way how Japanese people dress themselves
Do they not believe in spontaneity?
6:03 - "I also like being spontaneous."
Phasemental Supranatural Phasemental Supranatural Apparently 50 / 50 so nothing new 😂😂 Some like holding their hand some not, some want to be tretead special and in front of some the boy has to be cool.
But one thing is always similar you are not allowed to ask them how they want it 😁😀👌
So exactly what I would expect here!! :)
Phasemental Supranatural 😀😀👍
Rationalific that's one case
I saw the purple haired girl on Vice a TV station in the US for Harajuku style
To reiterate I watched an episode with her in it. Wish I knew her name?!
Love your videos!! 💕 You should ask about long distance relationships too!!
"Being rude with the waitress".
Literally my mom
Me planning out the whole date and just dragging her along is the reason I probably couldn't date a Japanese woman. I would be looking for a partner to share my life with, not a follower who waits for me to make all decisions. If I wanted followers I'd start my own youtube channel. That works for some people, and that's fine, just not for me.
What about date don'ts in the opposite direction, like a bouquet of flowers the size of a small car?
@AskJapanese
How did you learn Japanese so well? By the way love your videos they are so helpful!
Michelle Vasquez study study study study study study study study study study 😿😸
I think she studied high school there.
In Poland: It's pretty much the same.
I'd like my date to suggest things too. If you plan it together you enjoy it together more.
I guess being Dutch the polder model is just ingrained in me. :3
I have never been on a date but i have watched many, and i hate it when girls expect the guy to pay for the food. Especially when when the girl orders something really pricey , then all the pressure is on the guy to pay???? That just stupid.... Yeah u wanna be treated special but like srsly have consideration for the guys wallet 😑 😂😂😂🤔
Deonardo Mendez this should be common sense
My mom is this way. I think it's okay to split the bill every once in a while as I think it's considerate and also kind. Mainly if you're dating someone with the idea of finding a spouse treating them fairly is important in my opinion. They are not an Atm machine,they are human who work hard to earn their money. If a guy wants to pay, so be it, but I don't see anything wrong with paying for something for him in return. It seems the most respectful.
Aah the joys of feminism
She's not Japanese, but my current girlfriend and I just alternate paying for meals.
Of course that's easier to do when the two of you make similar incomes and have a similar net worth...
Jack dN that would be the woman paying at least her share.
Want to be seen equal to men? Take up the role as well then. :3
kinda bugs me that half of them want to put in 0 effort for dates and just make the guy do everything and follow what they do. Like okay, just put the pressure on the guy while you sit there and look pretty and contribute nothing. I guess it's a cultural thing but that one just irks me. It would be nice for a women to plan the date for once and do things.
yes, it's a very Japanese thing. 8 girls out of 10 would want you to make all the decisions and plan the date from the 1st to the last minute.
as a result it's not a surprise that by the end she can be angry/bored/unsatisfied etc because she actually wanted to go to another place and/or to do another things.
but they still dream about an extrasensory-person that can "read the air" and knows everything she wants when she's telling him nothing about it.
And the worst thing is that it's really common among Japanese girls.
I’ve been living in Japan for 6 years. Some women (not all) want the gentle prince package where the guy does all the planning and they just listen to them and act cute. That is 80%. Some are wanting a guy who avoids social norms and is unfashionable. Some like a prick towards their expectations. For the most part, females here are really modest and super considerate of your views. So, they want you to lead (especially in the first couple months).It’s courtship orientated a lot so yes.. putting in the work to show she’s your world, and hoping she picks you.
A little late for this, but the girl with the dark green baseball cap is 100% my type both looks and based on what she says (provided that what she says is exactly how it is lol).
Idk about everyone else but i turn off my phone on dates
4:37 lol the guy just pointed out what she said but the opposite of that hahaha
Guy: 3:30
Women: 5:33
Ouch. I'm going to assume he is single. Poor guy.
That was such a cute dress!!!
I know I should be watching the video but the 2 guys passing by at 5:59 especially the second guy (black t-shirt with yellow stuff at the back) are so handsome xD
Internationally handsome is my bias they kind of look like idols..
Rawan Hadi Ikr ??!!? Sooo handsome 😍
@@internationallyhandsomeism3406 hello can I know you
I love your videos!
Didn't know people would be so rude to a waiter/waitress
Rich people in Mexico are horrible and I have seen them kick the waiters.
I'm really surprised the being rude to waiters and waitresses answer was so common considering it's Japan. It's embarrassing enough seeing it here in the states, which is one of the things that makes me shy away from the service industry (despite hopefully soon starting a 3D printing company of my own.)
I think the girl wanting the guy to take the lead and have everything planned out is common here, at least where I live in the USA. I've never personally been with a girl who prefers that, but when I was checking out dating sites that was a very common thing when people would describe their ideal dates. Personally I'm okay with that once in a while, but I would much prefer something more mutual. If I'm trying to learn more about her and spend time with her I'd like to do at least some of the things that interest her rather than just exclusively stuff I'm interested in. Sure I could try to guess what she might like, but there's only so much I can do about that and there's no guarantee she would like it. Again, I'm okay with it once in a while, and I'd be okay with her picking out everything once in a while as well. I just think it would be boring and awkward on a first date and if done all the time.
I kind of got the impression that Cathy Cat was looking back at Director-san and was like: "You'd better make a mental note of this."
I live in the USA and if I'm on a date I would prefer if a guy initially plans it out just because I feel if a girl plans the "date" the guy wouldn't feel as though it were a real date. Men here like to plan out intimate stuff in their own special ways I feel. Also some don't for me are like don't kiss on a first date or do anything you aren't comfortable doing. Holding hands could be fine but it honestly depends on how comfortable you feel. I think it'd be good if the guy asked to hold your hand instead of just taking it without getting permission. Also, I feel that the guy shouldn't have to pay on the first date for both. Splitting the check is perfectly fine because more women in the USA are proud to be independent and feel as though a guy paying for them is the start of becoming dependent on someone else. Just my thoughts though.
Loren. You are on a date with Hugh Jackman and you re going to be upset if he holds your hand. It is going to depend upon how handsome and charming is the man. One man you may not even want to sit with while another you are doing it at his place.
No comment on the DO's & DON'TS for the ladies?
???
In Japan they take date very seriusly
The young lady with the green hat is very cute. The long hair with the big curls! KAWAII. I'm too old for her though.
I really want to visit Japan and experience the culture and environment :( Wonder how it feels interacting with natives as well? Got Japanese friends here as well though (they're very respectful). Girls are kinda airheaded most of the times as well 😂
WATCHED RIGHT TILLL THE END
What's the point of asking people who have barely (if even at all) dated before...
It's my birthday in about 3 weeks, then the week after that is my girlfriend's birthday and the day after that is prom. Wish me luck that it goes well xD
Japanese women are very different from European. I would even go so far as the Japanese women care more than the European. I cant Suffer when People are to late in general. The statement of the young woman at 7:07 min "Enjoying little things in life" would suit me .. Money does not make you happy but it calms down a bit. Wish U a nice Weekend Cathy Cat :P
It gives you options. That lard butt boss chewing at you daily. With bucks you can tell him to take his job and shove it. No bucks you have to take his crap.
Ty for making dis
Okay, one question:
In japan family is really important. and i guess just like in the rest of the world, picking up your phone while dating is considered rude or gives the impression of "ur boring, i talk to someone else." (next to the fact it was mentioned in the video, but they talked about "All the time" and not one call).
if your mother calls you, is it now rude or reasonable?
me for example would ask her, if it was okay because of it bein my mother calling me. good or bad idea?
I find it rude in the U.S. and in Mexico. It tells me that the other person could care less about me.
GREAT VIDEO........... I thought public affection was frowned upon in Japan!!!!!!!!!
It is but holding hands is not big deal. No smooching in public. Most of Asia is that way.
I really like how it started the first chick's statement was a bullz eye! Btw I luv eating with chopsticks but I didn't know a chick would judge me based on holding chopsticks lol WoW
In many places in the west, you go out and the girl will see how you handle the knife, fork and spoon and if you know which fork is the salad fork. Things can be different. US you drop the fork to pick up the knife. Europe you hold the knife in the other hand.
2:52 , love her 😂😂
At 6:54 if anyone did that outside of Japan then the girl would hate him haha
I would be single all my life if i lived there. I hate making all the decissions
I disagree with splitting the bill, if you asked her on a date then cough up the money and pay. Why ask her on a date if you’re not willing to pay for it ? Same goes for females if you asked him on a date pay for it don’t expect him to pay for you when you asked to go out.
I agree. If you cannot afford a date, don't ask for one.
Sometimes you pay the account when yo go on a date,but nowadays some girls want to pay the middle,for me it´s good but some others prefer that you pay the account,for me It´s normal,you must be gentleman.
Why do I feel like the ideal type in Japan? It feels weird
Yeahhhhhh anyone in the food industry in the US i treat like a king. They are touching and making food for me.
As long as it's not like the Burger King I appreciate you! :)
I would really hate it,if she spends pretty much most of the date texting with friends, instead of actually engaging with me,since the whole point of going out on a date is to see if one is compatible or not by trying to get to know that person.So Cathy Cat what are your DOES and DONT'S?
0:43 the girl in black! Her hair is so beautiful and long fml lol
Hi
Boys: “I don’t want to make the decisions by myself”
Girls: “I want him to make all the decisions”
I feel like in Finland girls would behave identically, but give different answers. #selfhatingfinn
Really? When I lived in Helsinki I had the impression that both men and women there are quite progressive and rarely live by those stereotypes anymore.
Although, from a female perspective I noticed that a lot of Finnish men are too shy to approach women (except when drunk of course). They often will literally hide in the corner of the bar/event and not look at anyone. Friends have told me that they are hoping that a woman will come basically like a princess charming and rescue them out of their shell of insecurities. I think this is so sad. I have met so many wonderful men over there who thought so little of themselves. But I guess the general (emotional) distance that is normal between strangers in Finland is not contributing much to the development of higher self-esteem. Anyways, I am rambling. Sorry for that. I just wanted to say that I think you probably do not have any reason to hate yourself. I am sure you are a wonderful person and capable to have an amazing relationship. Have a lovely day 💕
@@speedyspeedgirl1778 You nailed that description of Finnish men 100%. What I meant by my comment is that I think the women in this video are more honest than Finnish women about what they want. It seems almost like admitting you want any kind of assertiveness from a man is seen as a weakness for women, or something. Everyone has to be empowered, independent, not needy etc. I think the pressure for "equality" is so strong here that women are almost forced to be men. When I wrote that comment, I was single, and now I'm dating a very atypical Finnish woman, and still agree with my previous comment though. My girlfriend is brutally honest, and also hates Finnish culture. By self hating finn, I didn't mean I hate myself, I meant I hate being Finnish, and still do. But now I can do it with my GF, lol. Rant for a rant. =)
That sounds like a wonderful woman you found for yourself! You must be an awesome couple!
It is quite funny: many Finns (men and women) have actually complained to me and said the same things as you said. That they do not like those Finnish ways. But they admitted it is easier for them to open up to foreigners who do not come from that culture and still have trouble breaking the stereotypes in contact with other Finns. So it is really awesome that you and your GF are able to do that!
Wie bei den Deutschen Untertiteln einfach Datum statt Date steht😂das hat mich voll verwirrt das ich meine Untertitel wechseln musste😂
Are they reflecting the men rudeness to the waitress to them when they are married?
5:03 I HAVE THAT EXACT SAME TIE LOLOL
don't do what Donnie Don't does
Oh damn the guy on the right at 2:40 is so handsome and cute😍😱
Uhm i dont understand
japanese men seem to have a personel vendetta against waiters and shopping assistants LUL
TLDR: Men, do everything. Women, try to look cute. 😥
Man the gender norms in Japan really bothers me. I hope there's atleast some ladies there who are much more leveled with me.
Daju it’s because their society is still very conservative. And generally men are expected to pay on dates for a number of reasons dating far back to a more conservative society and a time when women couldn’t really work or make income or be educated, and then women spent their money all on appearance and getting ready to be presented and taken on dates which was seen as a service and thing to do FOR the man. So it was seen like she pays to look really good (clothes, hair, accessories, make up, sometimes cosmetic surgery, etc) and the guy paid for the meal stuff and event
man, having the guy do everything for you on the date??? thats so weird to me, if its something we're doing together, I would want to be involved. Knowing the place, choosing it together. etc like I get the guy suprising you sometimes, but all the time???? nah
It is usually only on the first couple of dates until you get to know one another. For all you men. You are not getting some loving from her until she is your official gf. Just hooking up does not cut it.
Interesting that one of the guys said that the male shouldn’t decide everything about the date, but one of the girls said they would prefer it if the guy leads them on the date.
I think she was talking about the first couple of dates. On the date engage her in conversation and you will learn what she likes and does not like. Keep the first date neutral. No MMA fights. If she is Japanese, likely you cannot go wrong with a Japanese restaurant. Go dancing. American men do still dance don't they? You can find out the hottest club in Tokyo and take her there. Hold her hand. Japanese girls go nuts over that. Just be a gentleman, cool and charming. Don't be a jerk.
Gosh that's a lot of responsibilities for the guys :X I suck at planning and being creative or romantic. So planning the day for a date is the worst nightmare for me, i'd like to do what she wants not what i want, because that's just selfish (besides which I'd most likely just want to play video games or smth) :D
Please do not ask to go to work for me.
I thought the Japanese were very polite but watching your videos alot of the women repeatedly say they don't like they the men are rude to staff
that girl on black frilly blouse is so cute >_<
Im literally watching this for advice im trying to date a japanese women
I'd much rather split the check for dinner dates. However, if he wants to pay I might let him. I'd rather get the details before we go. I guess I don't like surprises that much. Although it might depend on how long we've been together. However, I would like the man to take charge and take the lead. Take me on our pre-planned date. LOL.
Man is sitting with his sweetie in a restaurant and she is telling him how materialistic things turn her off. Then he says. Well I have these diamond earrings I was going to give you. She then says. Who am I to refuse a gift that came straight from the heart. Don't be a Gold digger but don't be a schmuck either.
I also wonder how Cathy or The Director comes up with these questions or ideas for the interviews??🤔🤔🤔🤔 cuz i have alot of questions about japanese people that i cant find the answer too