Why can’t an alcoholic love you?
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- Опубликовано: 25 авг 2024
- Is it possible for an addict to love you, or you to love them? This is a regular question for lots of people, and one we can answer together!
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My now ex boyfriend was the most wonderful human on the face of this earth when he was sober. He was in AA and nearly made it to 90 days before he threw it and me away. I got in the way of alcohol. I truly wish he would see his true worth and what a wonderful person he is sober. When he was drunk around me though the most poisonous venom would spew from his mouth like daggers to my heart. I realize now I could not compete with alcohol but I hope one day he’ll realize he’s worth saving himself from its clutches.
That’s pretty much my story as well. She made it to one year and then a week later she threw me away for another guy who she met at a bar.
Spot on when sober soo loverly when drunk wicked all done now no more 79 and still drinking good luck with that 😢
They do not love. Love does not kill. Love does not abuse. Believing that they love you is codependency. They don't love you and they don't love themselves.
They always choose the addiction, always, no matter how many chances you give them.
Alcohol is the mother of wickedness. I wish it doesn't exist in this world.
They are not seeking love. They are seeking their next fix.
That’s right!
I believe than it an alcoholic person is kind at heart... yes, he or she can love but the addiction is stronger than them and it takes over.
I used to call alcohol my husbands “mistress”, his first love. He defiantly loves me, has learned to put himself first and his health. Drinking is still on the table for occasions of celebrating something. But after finding out he had cirrhosis he stopped the insanity. It took a seizure, head injury from the fall and an overnight in the hospital to snap him out of it. It’s like the universe smacked him upside the head. A year later he’s happy again, working again after a year off, and our marriage has gotten a LOT healthier too. It is possible, and it is possible for them to love but NOT when in active addiction. It’s like they are in another reality.
The moment they drink again all the ,love, is gone. You live under constant threat and in stress. Not worth it. Its not love. Its codependency at best.
I also call beer my husband’s blond lover.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812 you can stereotype and box in everyone’s experience and relationship into that category. But not everyone is having the same experience, level of commitment, love, empathy and progress being made or not.
Because a alcoholic does not love himself or herself. So, how can a person who doesn’t love themself love some1 else?
That’s part of the journey of sobriety. Learning to love one’s self enough to step away from their worst vices, and feel good about being them selves without drugs or alcohol. A person has to practice honesty and vulnerability.
The first step is to get some clarity. Finding a way to get a little time sober, away from mind altering substances. Then we practice being open and honest with either a sponsor, therapist, or some one we trust. When we open a chain of dialogue about what we feel on the inside, we can begin the journey to feeling better on the outside!
When we learn to live life without the need for self medication we can start building healthy relationships. That’s my experience!
Strangely enough, my father adored himself. He was such a narcissist that he would admire himself in the mirror, was always well-groomed and buying himself clothes. All his wants and needs came first, everybody else was an afterthought unless it suited him (to look good in front of others) or was a woman he wanted to cheat with.
Hello, just got out of a 6 year relationship with an alcoholic. It took a toll on my ADHD brain 😶
It’s a tough road to go down. Glad you were able to find a way forward! Keep moving..you got this!
ADHD Brain Gang
I watched the whole video. I had to send my fiancé away because of his drinking. He wasn’t willing to give it up and he would say, and I will say I was the best thing that ever happened to him but the alcohol always wins.
I am going through the same thing with my boyfriend. It is devastating... Only been together 2 years, but nothing stable or consistent with a "high functioning" alcoholic.
It is so sad and devastating.!!!!😢
I've been in a 5 years relationship with 3 Kids ..
And I just left him !!
He always cried and promised me to change and go for Therapy.
But Alcohol won.
I am better of without him but I still love him .
I feel so sorry for everyone who is under such demonic addiction of alcohol.
Always thought I could change him with love and devotion, but this is just an illusion.
To everybody who go to the same , please safe your sanity and move on..
Let it in the Hand of God and you will find peace.
I know it is so hard and painful but I still have faith that things get better.❤
Oh alcohol
Is always first. Always!
Let me just say that I just found this channel and this video and really enjoyed watching it. It made me start to think. I will first day that I am a high functioning alcoholic. By that I mean that I have a very successful job that I don’t miss time at. I have a wife of over 20 years and two wonderful kids that I spend time with all the time. I love them all and they love me back. period. I spend many hours each week playing with them and carding them all over town. I am fully engaged in all of their activities. I try to help my wife when I see her struggle and she does the same to me. All in all if you asked me before watching this video, I would say 10 out of 10 that not only , am I capable of love, but also receiving love as well. Which brings me to the next portion which is that I do drink every night for the most part. I certainly can go nights without, but I certainly want to. I will say that once I start, I will not stop until pretty much passed out. Still always manage to wake up fresh and go to work, and perform at the top of my game. But, what I will say, is that the actual time that when I am drinking, I am not loving. I am not engaged in conversation that is meaningful nor spending quality time. We may be in the same room, but just watching TV or having meaningless conversation. My wife and I are always sitting on different portions of the couch and not immediately next to each other. So, I think my answer to that is yes, and alcoholic is capable of love, but once the switch is flipped to drinking anything or being obsessed about drinking anything, then it becomes probably a no.
I still love my alcoholic x. I left him and never turned back. I still wish he would stop drinking at come to me. I don't know how to get over him because he didn't break up over lack of love
It was lack of love. For you, for him. He only loves alcohol. You mean nothing to him unfortunately. There are 9 billion people out here. Love yourself. Move on❤
@@jarkachalmovianska7812 you don't know that, it's a common line about alcoholics, but it's not true. Alcoholics are some of the most compassionate people there are, sadly what disappears with their habit is consistency, & showing up. I have moved on, but I'm still connected to some of his family members for good reason. It's the same stuff as when I was there, denial & ditching work to day drink alone. That's the sad part. I am not short on self-love, trust me.
😢😢😢😢😢 My heart is burning 🔥
Yes they can love, everyone can love. The best way to tell if an alcoholic truly loves you is when they know they are going to hurt you, so they purposely distance themselves and break it off with you on their own accord. It mat Sound counterintuitive, but they know they have a problem and that ultimately you will get hurt. They may treat others like trash, but they love you that much that they wish not to have you treated this way. It's a strange type of love that can be hard to comprehend. When it comes to this it will be hard and painful, but you must let go with the best of your ability. There is nothing you can do to stop them loving the bottle. It will hurt that they have chosen the bottle over you, but time will heal, and they in return must learn to love themsleves. Keep living life and I wish the best for everybody
You know I'm going through this right now she says she does love me and always will love but she did distance herself and broke it off but she's drinking everyday it's sad we have to go through this but I understand what I have to do to
this is so painful
@@johngibson2176 facing the reality of the situation is difficult. First priority is protecting youself. You also have to ask yourself, are they in love with you for being you, or are they in love with you because you are the supplier?. If it is the latter then run. As soon as you refuse to supply it can turn sour or at best they may just dissapear but leave you hanging on. If it is true love then be kind, but also be prepared to be firm and set straight boundaries, be prepared for the fact that they will be in perpetual recovery for the rest of thier lives. There is no inbetwern area, its all or nothing. I wish you both the best of luck and hope things work out.
@@johngibson2176 I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend. It's extremely sad and difficult. Been going through so many times in only 2 years together.
My sister loved us very much but Vodka came first she felt remorse and shame when she was detoxed we lost her recently she would not let us visit so died alone I’m devastated with grief.
I fell in love with someone I didn’t know was an alcoholic until he started exhibiting classic addiction behaviors e.g. rationalizing, denial, extreme dependence on it, prioritizing drinking over communication. I had to extract myself just 10 weeks into this relationship. I think he loved me, but I would always have been a lower priority than the alcohol.
Same thing happened to me. I didn’t know he had a problem, but small red flags were on my radar, not realizing it was the alcoholism I was picking up on.
I too had to extract myself. It’s incredibly hard, for me, to leave as we met at bible study and I’m still single at 38..
I went through that too. They unfortunately prioritise alcohol over everyone in the end even their kids. I didn’t realise the extent of it until I had moved across the country to live with him and I moved out again in 10 days! Unfortunately I then went back and got stuck in lockdown, it never got any better in fact it just slowly gets worse. Free now 🎉😊
I have been seeing someone who’s an alcoholic. I love him so much and he loves alcohol and messing around more. It hurts so deeply and I pray that someday he will have an awakening. I have been told to walk away and don’t look back. I don’t want to
You don’t have to walk away from those you love, but creating healthy boundaries is a good start! Food for thought!
Honestly, you can leave now or leave later. I stayed 20 years, when my gut was saying "No, get out of here!" Best of luck to you xxx Alanon was very helpful if you can find a good group, it's online and many to choose from.
He doesn’t love you. He can’t. And you don’t love him. You’re codependent . Im 24 yrs married and finally accepting the only way forward is divorce. You can care without being a caretaker. 20 yrs from now you will regret not getting out while you were still young. If you want a miserable life, then stay with him while he uses and abuses every last drop of love you have. YOU are responsible for your own happiness, not him.
@@mjevans199 I know this was for the original commenter but I needed to hear it, thank you.
Leave now, or leave later. It took me three tries and lots of begging from him before I finally left for good; and yes, I still love him
Don't go to another country to meet your partner if they're an alcoholic. They will start drinking again while you're there and then you end up stranded alone in a foreign country with no one.
I hope that didn’t happen to you. I moved county and it was bad enough. Hope you are doing ok.
Keep going- great content! I am the codependent adult child of an alcoholic. It’s not something I’d put on my résumé but after surviving a chaotic childhood full of all sorts of abuse, having a baby with cancer, unexpectedly losing my mom, watching my father almost die of a drug overdose following her death (took a couple hits of Narcan and a couple weeks in the ICU to get all his organs working again), watching my father decline into alcoholism again even after surviving that, quitting my job and starting a business in order to be more available to my family (my Dad included), my business hitting a wall after the pandemic began, deciding to sell my childhood home that is willed to me by my Dad (as he agreed to allow me to “collect my inheritance early” in this way), agreeing to forego hiring a RE agent because he didn’t want to pay one, successfully selling the home myself with no experience (FSBO, cash-only/ VA situation because of the age of the home), sold almost everything we owned and moved my two children, husband and dog into a fifth wheel on his property under the agreement that we would keep everything in his name and reposition him financially and stay there temporarily until we could build our credit and finance something with the money from the sale of the house AND “help my Dad get well” (see: codependency). After we closed on the home we paid off his house and I began cooking and cleaning and making sure his bills got paid and begging him to get sober/ trying to prevent him drinking every single day while allowing my own children to be traumatized by his escalating behavior which ultimately ended in him threatening to kill himself and our entire family (felony DV with his removal and an NCO that prohibits communication between us). He’s aggressively violated the NCO twice, accused me of bank fraud because when he was initially released from jail after being sober for the first time in a year- he didn’t know how his mortgage was paid off, couldn’t recall why there were several hundreds of thousands of additional dollars in his savings account, and that I he had given me full access to his finances and that’s how I’d been taking care of his and my own bills and surviving while stuck somewhere I don’t want to be. Even now, I’m ready to walk away with nothing just to keep the NCO and never expose my kids to these horrors again. I don’t drink. I suffer from CPTSD and even though I’ve been medicated for it and have someone to talk to I am struggling to stay in the present so I can make all the necessary and healthy choices to break these bs cycles forever. Condensed, sorry still so long and disjointed. Thanks again for your healing based/ candid content. ✌️🤟
What a story. It’s always a joy to read about the circumstances and experiences of others. Thank you for your transparency and open dialogue. Keep moving forward in your relationship with family. I think I would go to the moon and back for a family member, but I also know I have to keep healthy boundaries. My hand is always out stretched, but I won’t allow some one to drag me down further with them. Evan family. You are awesome! Always remember that! Thanks for watching!
@@TellYourStory Wow, thank you for your thoughtful response and words of encouragement! You the real MVP 😊
So sorry I to am with a Acholic I do not drink I despise it I am trying to get out financially I can’t, it causes so much anxiety
Your talk was amazing. It answered so many questions for me. I always take it personally and feel the person I’m involved with doesn’t care and is all about themselves.
If they don't mean what they say when they disrespect you while under the influence then, they ought to express that by apologizing.
Most do in recovery. It’s called making amends in my program. I practice it every day. Thanks for watching!
They do mean what they say, though. Hence the phrase "A drunk mind speaks a sober heart." Alcohol removes the filter that usually prevents people from saying such things because they don't wish to hurt you.
@@whimsickly1973saying an alcoholic means what they say when they are drunk is like saying an alcoholic means to kill random ppl when they drive drunk....
It's simply not true....they don't mean it but that doesn't mean the damage they cause didn't happen....
It's not so much it removes the filter which it does but it's more so that the alcohol has completely distorted reality to the point they don't even realize what they are saying or doing
I fell in love with an amazing girl. I didn't know she was an alcoholic until months later. I love her so much, but it's really like she can't believe me She knows that I'm hot for her, but doesn't think someone can see her as more. She keeps making decisions that harm herself. She gives me just enough attention to make me not give up, but she won't commit. Thirty years ago I swore off women, then the who touched my heart has so much damage. They say you can't save people, but she means so much to me.
This video helped me so much. Thank you!
You are very welcome!
I was dating this guy for 2 weeks and we would always drink and have fun but it was kind of platonic fun, nothing sexual. He was so vulnerable, sweet and veeeeeeery adorable everytime he drinks but he's just a kind person when he's sober. I think I only like him when he's drunk and not when he's sober. Sought professional help, went cold turkey, and kind of dumped me. So Im not sure if it has something to do with the withdrawal because all along I thought he was obsessed and we were okay.
It might or might not have been. If he sought professional help, maybe he was just on a different path.
How do you know he sought professional help?
He dunped you cos you drank with him maybe
If you only like him when he is drunk and sober then what is the point especially if it’s platonic
My partner has an alcohol problem. I’ve never felt genuine love from him. I don’t feel he even truly loves our kids. It’s all superficial and more about how things look to the outside world. And yes, I’m making plans to leave with the kids for our own mental health.
Watching this as an alcoholic and it really sucks to see comments about how addicts cannot love. I think theres a stigma out there that addicts are somehow less human than non-addicts; that we purposefully choose the vice over our loved ones. Addiction is something very hard to understand and it is easy to chalk a group of people up to a single set of negative characteristics, especially when your life has been deeply negatively affected by an addict.
Obviously every addict is different but. I dunno. I can love. I love people in my life.
This.
I’m a alcoholic and I love my fiancé tovpieces I keep taking things out on her I’m trying to get help but I’m scared I’m 19 and been drinking since 16 and I love my fiancé tovpieces I hate taking my problems out on her and I can’t stop having emotional breakdowns it’s breaking my heart cause I never used to be like this 😞
Thx for your video ! ❤
I fell in love as a recovering addict (13 months clean) with an active addict.
Had to walk away, she was my world and I tried to help her, the bottle always was the first choice for her. Broke me, but walking away was the only choice I had. Man I tried...
Love it...the energy and all
Appreciate that! Thanks for watching!
I had to leave my ex...he has to learn to love himself...stop hurting himself before he can love someone because life is truly worth living sober and living life with the people who truly love you!
I don’t believe an alcoholic can ever truly love. Even after 7+ years of not drinking. My former wife quit drinking followed the 12 steps got 4 other people sober and through the 12 steps. Has an active relationship with her sponser of 35 years of sobriety. She still trades addiction to other things like nicotine, politics her business. If you go to long term sobriety meetings you learn people quit drinking and improve but usually trade addictions. Or what ever they want. She prioritizes politics over her own daughter. An alcoholic will always be selfish. If you are not an alcoholic don’t ever date an alcoholic even if they are sober. An alcoholic will ALWAYS think of themselves and only what is in it for them. It is true it is a selfish NEVER ending disease. Now that does not mean I don’t think they could have a positive relationship. I just think they need to find another Alcoholic. That way they can both be selfish. That way their needs will always be met. I don’t recommend a norm and alcoholic be together. I don’t think it works. A norm will think about their own needs their partners needs as well as their kids needs. An alcoholic will always think and act on their own wants and needs first and last and usually in the middle as well. If you can not let go of an alcoholic it is because you are addicted to them. We must all learn to have zero attachments. An alcoholic can not do that and stay balanced. I have never met one unless they were on the pink cloud then at that point they are usually addicted to sobriety.
That’s an interesting point. I can say, I’m also married to some one who went through addiction. I disagree though, that alcoholics need to be with some one selfish. I found a person who had been through as much pain as I had. She understands me in a way that no one else could. We share a bond and love I never thought possible! It’s soo much more the opposite of selfish, and catapults into the realm of unconditional! There will always be selfish people out there. Even without their worst vices looking to fulfill an agenda, but people are different! Each in a more beautiful and fantastic way! Sobriety taught me how to love some one. It’s no longer “what can I get from you?” It’s “what can I give to you?” I am now a person of service! That’s how I want to love others!
@@TellYourStory thanks for sharing your story!
@@kyle8947 Your argument is confusing and difficult to follow. What evidence do you have that alcoholics will always be selfish?
I agree with you. Alcoholics brains are different from normal brains and we'll never understand them. They just trade addictions. Once an Alcoholic always an alcoholic. The drinking or not drinking can't change that. They are broken individuals
You're perspective is disgusting and only reflects your own shortcomings.
My husband is still in denial that he has an alcohol problem. He drives drunk all the time and sometimes with my kids. I don’t know what to do anymore since I can’t afford these bills on my own.
I was that guy for a long time. Truthfully, no one would set healthy boundaries with me. I ran over so many people in my drunken stupor.
Right now you have to find a way to put some distance between you and this person. Through healthy boundaries or an ultimatum. It is a scarry thing to tell the ones we love most “you must stop this behavior. I love you, but I can not and will not tolerate this behavior. “
Find some one to talk to, and if you have to DONT DO IT ALONE.
I wish some one had done that for me then. Be strong and keep moving forward.
I’m in the same situation OP, he also drives drunk. So last monday after a horrible night of him wrecking my kitchen after I cooked and cleaned for 3 hours and him being nasty as hell to me, I reported him to the police for drunk driving. I regret it but I don’t as well. He says I’m evil etc and I feel horrible. But he refused to listen to me and only cared about money snd told me bc he pays for everything he’s doing his part in the relationship and that the nasty things he does isn’t a big deal. Well I hit him in the only place he cared about, his wallet. A DUI adds up, Im letting the court tell him he’s wrong I can’t do it no more.
What if he kills your kids??????
Been w my bf for 10 months now , when I met him he was sober going to AA and living a sober home … he then bought a motorcycle, he left the home, and allowed alcohol back into his life regardless of him saying how much he “loves me “ he still chose to drink and drive multiple times and I almost lost him 9/2 due to a severe motor accident and he hasn’t been the same since … still chooses to drinks … now pills … I love him to much but he doesn’t realize he’s hurting me. I’ve now learned along the way you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves first :/ hopefully one day he’ll realize his worth before it’s to late 😔
Make a plan for a better life if you can, keep those kids safe.
Alcohol is demonic
Thank you, your words are so beautiful it's brought tears to my eyes. That man you see in the picture is my husband of 15 years and he's an alcoholic. I love him and we've been through gobs of heartbreaking issues but Jehovah God has always helped us . And I know he's the answer to this problem but mu husband has to allow him in his life.
Sorry, but alcoholics need to take ownership for their abuse. Giving them a pass because they’re drunk is plain wrong. They know what they’re doing. The alcohol has simply removed their inhibitions. And they generally remember what they’ve done. And the evil that they know they’ve done doesn’t motivate them to quit or seek help. They’d rather have another drink. And another. And another. Ad infinitum.
Hey There I 💕 Love my sobriety. 26yr & going strong. Love 💕 CHÀR
15 years here, congratulations!
Dead on, alcohol is always on there mind. If and when you show a alcoholic love or emotion, it takes there mind off thinking about alcohol and they get angry and cold.
It’s a hard habit to get away from, and takes a long time to develop the coping mechanisms necessary to handle emotions like love again!
@@TellYourStory yes, thank you for your advice
It's me Kateja I messed up bad my mind is gone . I heard every word. That's me sadly . I need so badly to talk to someone that's trying but I'm not too ready. I've been selfish . I'm stubborn. I don't know how to stop at this point. I don't know how to stop when enough is enough.
Take the first step, and pick up your phone. This is the hardest one. Call some one who you know will be honest with you. Who will listen, and tell them how you are doing.
Then the second step. Find a meeting. Go to that meeting. If not to listen, for the time away. Away from your vices. Away from any one or thing that would talk you into those bad things.
That’s how we begin. That’s how I started. I picked up the phone and talked to some one. Then I surrounded my self with those that had been through what I was now going through.
The hardest part, and I mean the hardest, is getting started.
You CAN do this. It’s been done before. That I promise you. It doesn’t matter what you have done. It doesn’t matter where you have been. All that matters now is where you go next. What you do next.
I believe in you.
Get up. Make a choice. Will I start to heal? Do I want to stop? If yes. Make a choice. Then make another, and another.
Healing requires us to make a choice, and to learn to say no. It’s hella hard, but worth every minute. Get up.
Get..up.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
Then come back here, and listen again. Learn again.
I’m not going anywhere, and this channel will never go any where.
It’s time to heal!!! Good luck!!!!
You're the man!
Thanks for watching!
It is very hurtful to love an active alcoholic. When he doesn’t care enough to do rehab and learn to take responsibility for his actions, it’s better to be alone than in such a relationship.
I am happy, mostly for himself, that my partner finally went to rehab. We will see…
I'm confused.... Why is it that my bf is actually much nicer when he's drinking and acts like a lunatic when he is not drinking?
Alcoholic women should NEVER be engaged in a relationship.
Guys. DONT EVER DO IT.
It’s not your problem and they’ll never change until they’re DONE with the pain.
And if they do quit, they won’t be the woman you fell for, so it only confirms further that you never should’ve engaged.
Alcoholics CAN control themselves, they just choose not to, and they make that choice EVERY DAY that they don’t seek help.
Every day they choose a drink is another day they choose that MORE THAN ANYTHING OR ANYONE ELSE.
I dated someone for a couple of months who was a functioning alcoholic. The tell-tale signs was first his breathalyzer in his car. In our short time courting he was completing a DUI class and also had an incident where he blacked out and the law got involved and it was pretty serious, this was prior to us dating. He actually may go to jail for a year or two. I asked him before we stopped dating if he wanted to quit and he said “eventually” he drank often because he also had fibromyalgia & was in pain but didn’t take any medication for his pain so he would numb it with alcohol & weed. The eerie signs of his impulsivity with our relationship was his neediness. He would say things like “your mine” He also was very quick to talk about marriage which is flattering but it was so fast in our short time together. I told him he was like a different person one night after his drinking. I eventually told him he would have to seek help for himself or we need to separate. Since then we haven’t talked. I enjoyed him but the drinking and the legal issues due to the drinking concerned me. He would often take shots before work and after work. He was even accused of being drunk on the job.I knew if I stayed I would be very resentful and honestly like I said he may go to jail for a long time. I agree with all that you said. My ex would constantly say he loved me but I don’t know if he did I think it was manipulation. I hope one day he loves himself enough to get help.
Please leave before it’s too late. You can be in the car with him one day God forbid, or if you have kids…please leave before you get attached.
@@samia6888 yeah it’s been a while I left and moved to another state. I hope he gets help 🙏🏾
Active or sober/dry stay far Away from them 😮
Currently, I am facing a dilemma with a person of interest. I’m so concerned for them. We have such great times, but all the great times get ruined by their alcohol problem. I'm wondering if I should continue to pursue the relationship with hope, or save myself from heartache by not tagging along on their journey. One thing I can say is that my person is at least trying to recover, but they don’t want professional help. They’ve been able to remain sober for maybe six months on their own but then relapsed some time in the beginning of this year and have not been able to regain control since.
I would never dream of getting involved with another alcoholic having done it once. They are always either thinking of when they can drink or hungover. Mine was verbally abusive too when drunk, bundle of fun. I watched him put himself before his kids and finally got out. It doesn’t get better very often as alcoholism is a progressive disease. My advice would be if it’s a problem at the beginning of a relationship 🚩 🚩 🚩
Im just experiencing my father's 6 relapse, he's losing it and threatened me, at the same time he said he loves me. I'm now mindfucked from this situation..the stress and his actions are.... difficult. But he never punched or assaulted me, but he changes emotiones very easily. He repeats words and he sometimes talk yo himself. When he's sober he's fantastic, the worst part is me feeling numb...
Most of them are narcissists.
Men don’t fall in love drunk or not drunk
My wife may disagree with you on that one. 😂
Same but with drug addicts applies as well
I met the most loving caring guy in the world he treats me like a queen but he's an alcoholic and the love for the boze is no competition for me I sent out with him and my friends we had alot of drunk and came home ge drank too but its never enough so I let him go he's like a monster when he's drunk and angry and I am scared so I let him go 😢😢😢😢
You emphasize your tone and speech like a radio DJ
I totally do! 😂
You sound exactly like my mc brother in law. Now i know ts a thing.
My significant other has a drinking problem that I've been blamed for for so long, my mother recently died and now I have created a drinking habit and I'm not eating like I should. Any suggestions or help. I'm feeling very lost and stuck.
Find something to love more than the alcohol. For me, it was a hobby or habit I could do everyday. It helped keep me away from my worst vices. You can do it! It really is that simple. Don’t let any one tell you otherwise.
@@TellYourStory thank you
Seek some advice from professionals, your life is precious.
For personal refrence:
1:58
I hate this it’s like “yeah I know I suck I’m an alcoholic”. I wish they would have just stayed away.
The excuse of not “knowing what we’re doing or saying when we’re drunk and don’t mean it” is TOTAL BULLSHIT.
Any honestly recovering alcoholic will attest and admit to that.
Very few have frequent enough blackouts to make that the “rule”.
That’s a total Total Coward’s cover. 💪🏼❤️👍🏼
That’s absolutely true. Which is why we should help more people stay away from mind altering substances. Hope you have a great week.
Help I am in love with alcoholic he always tells me that he loves me and he loves his grandchildren but he always has to get drunk to go to sleep that's excuse but he said he's trying to raise his grandchildren too and nine month old how can he raise his grandchildren and he's always drinking he gets off balance he doesn't remember some of the things he says and then when he gets drunk I am the one and passed out I'm the one that stuck take care of the kids help
As the wife of an alcoholic for 27 years I can honestly say it's best to run as far and fast as you can. You do not want to experience this life. One, if he cannot sober up for those children he will never sober up for ANYONE. Two, he should not have custody or access to those children. The scars he is going to leave on those children are going to be tremendous. No child deserves that nonsense. Ask my 3 grown children who struggle emotionally and mentally. I personally have experienced the most insane behaviors, my belongings being smashed, being completely humiliated, emotional abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, being kept up for 24 hours straight with him yelling at me, degrading me and so much more. He calls his family while he is totally trashed and tell them all our personal business, talk crap about me to them and make himself out to be such a victim. It's just pure insanity all the time when he's at home. Our children can't stand him. They don't want anything to do with him and he doesn't care. His mother coddles him when she needs to learn some tough love. I too was an alcoholic and drug addict. I know I too did absolutely despicable things. When I married him and saw how he behaved I sobered up. There was no way I was going to be that person and the first step was to put down the alcohol and meth I was on. I did a lot of other drugs too but not near as much as the alcohol and meth. Just walk away and make sure to alert the proper authorities about those children.
My best advice would be to reach out. Find a resource like a local rehab and ask an addiction specialist there for advice. A quick google search will show you locations in your area. Just ask to talk to some one, and let them hear your story.
The best advice I ever received about addiction came from a peer support specialist at a local rehab facility.
Yea al alcoholic never love you. All he do to spend the romantic time. Just to be with alcohol. You never get his real time in a relationship and always get in to a argument but still blam that is your fault
Because they LOVE THEIR ALCOHOL!!!
I won’t drink with my husband anymore because he’s an ALCOHOLIC DRUNK!!
Sorry to hear that. Hope he gets better!
I am convinced that everyone is addicted to something, it's part of the human condition, and that we can only love others to the degree that we love ourselves including a personal relationship with the Almighty. It's also true that some addictions are more detrimental than others. In my opinion, alcohol is the worst because it is sociably accepted as normal but does the most damage. Other socially accepted addictions are overeating, smoking pot, and all forms of entertainment. Whatever we find pleasure in can become an addiction. I am addicted to carbohydrates (any combination of flour, sugar, and fat) "backed goods" are MY nemesis. I stay away from alcohol for the most part but it's the drug of choice for my wife of almost 30 years. I wish she loved herself. I wish she could love me more. Thanks for listening.
I need help for my wife as she chooses alcohol over happiness what to do
First try and have an open conversation with your wife. Try and set some healthy boundaries. Maybe plant the seed. Tell her how you feel, and ask her if she feels like she may need some help.
Alcoholics are tough. They don’t want to think they have a problem, but I wish some one had sat me down early on when I was drinking and told me that they felt like I had a problem.
After that, it’s a waiting game. This person will either get help or they won’t. Getting sober is a personal choice. You now have to decide what is best for you. Either you grind it out keep suggesting help. Doing the work for them. As in, finding support groups in the area for her, and suggesting they go to a meeting. Etc. Or there is the latter, you put some distance between you and your partner.
Some times a little distance says more to an alcoholic than any thing else. No one wants to be alone. Good luck on this journey. Just know that you are not alone, and there are people out there who can help.
Google search “peer support specialists near me”. Find some one that you can talk to outside of your relationship. They will be able to guide you!
Its a drug😮 it makes people happy😊
Cause your not in the right state of mind.😂
I love my girlfriend very much but we started drinking when i got colitis probably didn't help we made friends with a couple we worked with and they drank alcohol too had to stop hanging out with them i was trying to quit drinking my girlfriend could quit drinking no problem but would hide wiskey from me i could always taste it on her and she would give me the wiskey I even tryed begging her to not drink around me and I could stop drinking for a while we drank together few days ago i just wanted a half pint because I felt bad and she got a pint anyway im good and didn't have much cravings if I drink just a little and can go few weeks or months before cravings start again but if i drink a pint i might have to drink more shes not an alcoholic but can drink as much or more than me i don't fall down drunk she didn't either but if one of us was drinking we both would im not sure if she will stop drinking around me and im not sure i can see her drinking and not want to drink i knew were enabling each other but i really don't want to lose her im praying for some kind of help but really don't know what to do covid killed most of the meetings and good rehabs around here and the other meetings are around 8 or 9 a clock when im working its hard finding a good saport team around here going to a meeting and feeling worse than when you went in or leaving wanting to drink or feeling hopeless isn't very good im taking vivatrol and most aa meetings you can't tell them you're on any kind of medication to help with addiction i quit on my own last time but needed help this time ive seen people asked to leave a meeting or couldn't get a sponsor because of medication to help them
If you want people to read your post maybe add punctuations?
😂. This is foolish.
People can change! What’s foolish is to not believe, and do nothing. We have to try as individuals to change. I had to for me. Letting go of my vices was the best choice I ever made.
Hi Nason, I really liked your content. I am a professional video editor and I would like to edit your RUclips videos that will keep your viewers engaged which will result in increased audience retention. Are you interested?
Appreciate it! Thank you for watching!
Could you do a video on binge drinking. Or one on alcohol leading to cheating. Thank you.
What a nasty video
Hi, im dealing with a breakup rn. My gf broke up with me 2 months ago bc of her addictions. She drinks and smokes a lot and she also have a little weed addiction. I knew she wasn’t in a stable state of mind when i first met her and I knew this was gonna be hard but I still wanted to try to make this work. She broke up with me bc she said she was feeling selfish of trying to keep me in her life, knowing shes incapable of giving me something stable. I told her its more selfish of her to push the people that love her away. I wanted to help her. I know its not my job, but help her in a moral way yk? She told me she doesn’t wznt to become dependent of my help, bc if one day im not in her life anymore, she wouldn’t know how to deal with it. I understznd that point. She said shes aware of the fact that shes not doing well, but she not in the mental state of trying to get better.
Its complicated to leave someone you love, knowing theyre suffering, knowing they still love you. Do I let go? Do I wait for her? Im questioning our whole relationship rn, that’s how I found this video, im trying to understand. Thank you, and im sending love to whoever is living the same.
P.S sorry for my English, its not my native language
Hey I'm going through very much the same thing with an ex gf who is an alcoholic. I understand your pain.
For me, I have my life to live too, even if I truly believed that she was special. I hope one day she comes back healthy, free from her vices, and ready to give our relationship another shot. I know I would accept her again with open arms. But what if she never gets better? What if, in the time spent apart, she loses the unique feelings she had for me? I will have put my life on hold for nothing. No, the only way forward is to let go.
Anyways, we can't provide support to them or future partners if we aren't physically and mentally healthy ourselves. I'm rooting for you. Please take care of yourself.