The Stark Changes To Marriage & Divorce Since The Victorian Era | Love & Marriage | Absolute History
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- Опубликовано: 9 апр 2024
- Why has marriage changed so much over the last century? How has marriage change between now and the Victorian age? Through the experiences of five diverse couples, this documentary explores the intricacies of marital bonds, from cultural expectations to shifting gender roles. It unveils the realities of divorce, the pain of separation, and the journey towards healing and redemption.
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This was 12 years ago...I wonder how each of the married couples agree doing, especially after post-covid.
Unlike some people in here, I found this documentary to be thought provoking. Those who scowled at it may want to take a good look at their own lives, or perhaps they did and it drudged up a lot of pain for them, which is maybe why they ridiculed it so.
This is an encouraging and hopeful documentary.. my husband and I are a millenial young couple and we aspire to a strong lifelong partnership, anticipating that there will always be challenges along the way. We married after 12 years of being in relationship.
If I may ask, how long ago did you marry?
@@ValeriaRinski we married in 2019
I agree. Here also millennials and married in 2015 after being together for 5 years. Due to health stuff we've lost the love for eachother, but we're still best friends. We still fit together in terms of financial goals/things we like, just aren't romantically involved anymore (and don't miss it tbh). But hearing in the other documentary from the love life of our grandparents and great grandparents (1900/1960) where - especially in the early 1900s - couples barely knew eachother when they married and managed to become a successful family together gives me strength. This documentary, where people sought to mary for love and struggle with it over time, is such a contrast to the earlier times. Makes me wonder if there's a correlation between the true love finding and the divorce rate. Not saying the earlier generations didn't struggle cuz ofc they did in other ways (wars, women's rights, divorce being illegal, no birth control). But this does open my eyes that the way we look at marriage differs in every generation quite a bit and that there's more than one way to have a successful relationship. You just need to find out for yourself what you need in a relationship. Very eye opening.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm you still love each other, it's just a different type and it can be even more strong and enduring than romantic love. ive always personally found romantic love to be fickle, look at the divorce rate lol because once the romantic love wears off, there's nothing left. Pave your own way, not all marriages work the same ❤
This was very interesting! You can see how much some of these people love each other.
Interesting how two of the couples were the complete opposite of each other. You had the vicar who had a wife developing her full-time career while he watched the kids yet she left him anyway. Then you had the wife and an alpha husband with an international job who literally could not understand the concept of love until it was written to him in a business letter!
The takeaway seems to be those that really took the commitment seriously and worked together were the marriages that lasted
That is a logical fallacy. Of course those are the marriages that worked. If you stay in your marriage, your marriage will not end. If it was as easy as staying no matter how hard things get, we would not be talking about why marriages that last lifetimes are so rare. This reminds me of engineers talking about planes getting shot down in WWII, and how we can protect them. Some engineers proposed reinforcing where the gunshot holes in the plane fuselage were, because obviously, right? Until other engineers pointed out, correctly, that they should be reinforcing the areas where the gunshot holes were NOT, because the planes that were being shot in those places were not flying home. Does this strange metaphor make sense?
@@opposedhealer1826 not sure I get the connection
I disagree with the “tough it out and it’ll all work out in the end” mentality as it relates to marriage because it tends to discount or overlook instances of abuse and mistreatment, the so-called “holes” that one sees and one does not see in a situation. As I said, it was a strange metaphor.
@@opposedhealer1826 I don’t think abuse was involved in these cases and the point is they just didn’t tough it out they actively worked to improve the situation abuse and not being willing to deal with a addiction are not things to continue putting up with
@@kellicoffman8440 We can’t be sure what goes on in their marriage, we only know what was shown in the documentary, what the couples themselves chose to show. I also agree with your second point and left my husband for exactly those reasons (abuse and addiction), so I do not know what point you were making but I’d like to think we’re on the same page
Definitely love your series on marriage through different time periods!!! Looking forward to the next (if there is one). Thank you for sharing these unique yet universal stories with us!!!! ✨🙏🏽
Perfect marriages or relationships simply don't exist. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to navigating them. What may be effective for Adam might not resonate with Peter. However, I've come to realize that there's always a solution to every problem. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such difficulties in our marriage that divorce seemed imminent. Despite the ordeal, we persevered, and today, we've triumphed over that rough patch, reunited and stronger than ever
a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
Its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is Suzanne Ann Walters...
This is helpful, I will look her up online right now...Thanks.
You definitely should. You wont regret it
A+ for the music score.
Very interesting documentary. Also very interesting to see them all after eachother to see the differences in each generation. Especially the part where love in the beginning of the 1900s marriage was still very transactional, where only in the 60s it started to be based on feelings of love. And I also didn't know that the first divorces only started in the 70s, same with protected sex only starting in the rock and roll 60s. And from watching this one I'm also starting to wonder if a marriage based on love is going to be good log term. Feelings of love fade over time, the divorce rate only went up since the 80s and 90s. Not saying striving to be happy isn't a good thing, but the dating scene hasn't really become a successful, friendly place lately.
Fun music from late 1970s.
Whats the song that plays at 5:00?
Red Red Wine by UB40
it didn't happen only in England that there were so many divorces in 1980
I don't think marriage changed all that much.
It's people who want to spend their lives together and raise a family.
And then you have a small percentage of.... Others,
who prefer to wheel their cat around in a baby carriage Lol
Yea, I think it's nowadays pretty similar to this video, besides maybe an even bigger shift towards selflove, happiness and individualism, resulting into an even higher divorce rate. And ofc the change to online dating, rating people on a picture and profile info instead of meeting them in the pub. Not to forget that marriage nowadays requires 2 working people in a lot of places in the world, and marriage comes after a career. Having children isn't a standard either anymore, it's a well thought decision. Hmm, actually, it changed quite a lot 2015+ vs the 90s.
Nothing wrong with cats in strollers! 😂
"he had 7 women a day"
Sure do you believe this yourself 😂
Love ❤️ the story of Harry and Kate and how they worked out with the Lords help they worked it out and improved the marriage
For the worse, saved you an hour.
Thanks, I lasted 10 mins with this nonsense 👍
😂
DIANA....
the most beautiful lady..... 😍😍
So, you have never seen a picture of her?
@@AnnaAnna-uc2ff beauty is in the eye on the beholder which is probably how a tubbo like you found someone.
its good to remember that many women are 'social climbers' when it comes to men and marriage and the idea of staying with a man who has lost his job- no fault of his own- is not in the cards at all ( for many - not all)
And men commit adultery more.
Ppl disrespecting social climbing women generally won’t make good partners because it is “okay” for all to want to be safe, secure, comfortable & nurturing to others without judgement?
Let's not forget that our whole living is based on social standards and expectations. Even before we're born there's already expectations laid down on us with blue or pink balloons, later the friends we make, the way we're taught to behave, in our schools, the workplace, in the news or the government. There's no way you can have a love relationship without societal norms and habits being intertwined in it. Some people place more worth in societal norms in their relationships, that's true, but it's useless to shame people for being "social climbers". Cuz you yourself are also doing a lot of things (unknowingly) because of societal expectations. You just don't realize it.