Is there an upside to marriage?
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
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Marriage is taking leap of faith and commiting to a life together and most of western guys in Philippines want to try things out first...You had two failed marriages and left a Filipino girl for a dream job...With due respect I'm not sure your advise has any merit honestly....
It’s the legal consequences of marriage failure that matters. You cannot walk away with the same assets you entered marriage with.
There’s no moral necessity to optimise a woman’s life prospects
I agree with most of these comments...for me getting married here in the Philippines was a mistake...not alot of fighting..it's really nobody's fault..she just wants all the same shit I wanted when I was 37... I'm 65 been in the Philippines permanent since November 2019...i want better life...no more buying STUFF!
You still alive ??
Paul
Gene Simmons never got married and Aaron Rodgers still isn’t married and Troy Aikman got married after he retired!
What accent do I hear, South African maybe?
The grass isn't greener in SEA. Moving there is not a cheat-code to life.
It's as good as it gets imo
Actually for many it is a sure way to ruin your life. Lots of zombies on those walking streets in red lights districts. Even some suicides and homeless. Definitely not for someone who has lot going on for themselves, especially not worth leaving your family for that.
If you think you can vet your wife’s friends , you are exerting “ coercive control”. That’s a. criminal offence Gall time , 5 years
Paul, sounds like you may be missing someone.
Sometimes you have to take a break to see what you really have. You are very lucky that you can still return.
Hello there,
Are you by any chance familiar with the Kabayan BDO bank account as another option for transferring and withdrawing money from abroad into the Philippines without incurring any fees ?
Please let me know if the above is a good alternative.
Thank you.
hi can i ask the best video for red pill info for a new guy
Solid videos bro. Just came across them. Nice to find someone well spoken and educated.
Never get married!!
You seem nice, but you are a perfectionist and carry a big chip on your shoulder. You lug that baggage around wherever you go and that prevents you from experiencing the fullness of what what life has to offer. Normal for filipinos means raising a family and being connected with family (not necessarily supporting them all the time, but keeping healthy family ties). Having a baby, strengthens your bond as a family. The family-oriented culture, with faith and traditions blended together is the secret why filipinos have a happy dispositions in life, a factor that foreigners are attracted to. But you want control, that's fine, as long as you don't make her conform so much to your point of view, relationship-wise, because you are a broken person, carrying that baggage into the relationship. Don't poison the well, or what you fear will be self-fulfilling prophesy. Life is a journey of ups and downs. There can be no guarantees that there wouldn't be chaos, but the journey together with your partner to triumph through problems (you call it "chaos", which really implies your paranoia) will only make your relationship deeper and stronger.
NEVER put it on paper with the state.
NEVER use a parachute that works 40 percent of the time.
NEVER enter into a contract where the one who breaks it gets paid. NEVER EVER NEVER....
In the Philippines or Thailand there are alot of pretty slim ladies to choose so you might get lucky. In the U.S. pretty slim ladies are not so common and many are feminists (pain in the butt). I find it very easy to stay single in the U.S. so few women that are worth the trouble and I am not going to search 24/7 for that unicorn.
Monk-mode at home and passport-game abroad is a good way to go. Endlessly searching for "the one" on some island other side of the world doesn't work.
@@crummyjuggler5574 Why doesn’t finding a quality woman abroad work?
Boring...
Don’t get married.
Leonado Dicaprio has a cut off date. He's never had a girlfriend over 25 & he's never been married.
California, after 30 days and your in a family court somewhere. He's a smart man.
Absolutely, well said!!!!!
I read this a while ago: Instead of the term single, I prefer the term independently owned and operated. 😂
I bet you a coffee, that when you return to the Philippines, you will be taking Red pills again, 😂
I think you might be getting lonely.,lol...
Before getting married to my first wife in America, we lived together for two years while we were both going to the same university. I left her for a job elsewhere and instantly realized I wanted to be with her. I returned and we were married for 35 years. Similarly here in Thailand, we lived together for two years before I asked her to marry me. We’ve been married 3 years and all is well. I think living every day together for 2 years qualifies as due diligence. There is only so much you can do. Communication is key. I left my first wife ultimately over communication issues. Communication needs to be honest and needs to reveal your mutual life goals and daily needs. Here in SEA there is a clearer transactional nature to the relationship. As you have observed, she wants security and I want companionship and care in my life. As for the chaos, I am realistic about it being a (hopefully) low level constant in any poor Asian family but at my age (66) and being retired I have learned to achieve a certain calm in my life. Whatever happens I think I will be OK.
I have been with my Filipina pretty much day and night since I arrived in the PH 3 years ago. I would say I know her rather well.
That's good things are going well for you Martin , hope it stays that way for you, life is to short to getting divorced to many times. I've had two already, and I'm wondering what to do next.
Just my opinion Paul. I think you are already getting stressed from the Working Grind in USA, no social life, inflation, high rents, cost of living, political turmoil, crime rising, taxes....You had a long taste of the Philippines & you really loved your time there...Beautiful petite feminine women, warm friendly hospitality, very affordable rents, pristine white sand beaches & waterfalls & mountains, enjoying your freedom & liberty, exercising at gym & relaxing people watching at Cafe ...I can see your next video will be boarding flight from TEXAS to LAX to MNL to CBU>>>> Somebody special waiting for you in DUMAGUETE!
You hit it right! Nostradamus!
You want to be a millionaire- Be a Billionaire and get married…..Youll never know who your married too until you meet her in the divorce court…stay with the Red pill Paul…cheers n beerz Daz
Human females need two vastly different males. One who's a hot dark-triad macho for "Seed" (hot infatuation / passion). The other is the nice-guy provider for financial "Need". You are speaking of security "Need". But, that is defined as non-love and ends in loveless marriages or divorce. The only reason to marry is because you can't get a visitor visa for the lady (from a poor country) or if you want babies. Peace.
Dark. You have never been to the PH, have you. Here the whiter the better as far as Filipinas are concerned.
@@MrRon-oe6fx I've been there many times beginning at age 13. What you speak of, beauty standards, is just one facet which is a combination of seed and need. The study of evolutionary psychology is important. Peace.
@@bobbruce4135 The “dark” part might be related to melanin and size expectations for Western women. However, humans have consistently shown a preference for fairer skin complexion over darker ones. Size matters but skin color matters even more.
Look up the definition of unconscionable contract. Most of what you said here is hate speech when looking at it from the correct perspective. Noone would entertain entering into a slave contract if the master ticked off enough boxers.
Paul's Asian Adventure in Texas! You having a change of heart? Is Mia pulling at your heart strings? I will be joining the single's club again very soon and looking forward to it...more so the freedoms that come with being single. I will be making a exploratory trip to the PI in a couple of years for a few months before deciding if I want to make the move more permanently in about 4 years. I was stationed in the PI for 86-90, so I pretty much know what to expect, but just want to see what's change for the better and worse in the past 32 years since I was last there.
I retract him missing Mia. I'd only watched the first 2 mins when i had commented. He's focussing on red pill big time.
And now they've just got married. 100% true.
The problem with marriage in the Western countries is that marriage is defined by men's responsibilities and women's rights.
In non-Western cultures, marriage is defined by mutual responsibility.
Big difference.
Like you said, if you can check off all the boxes then she's the one for you. A women wants love, security and being proud that she made the right decision in wearing your name. Marriage basically seals the deal and gives the women what she enjoys, being proud in sharing your name. Theses used to be the western women's way of thinking, I found it again in a Filipina.
Getting married is like giving tenure to a liberal college professor. They start doing whatever they please and there's nothing you can do about it cause you're locked in! Or there are severe financial penalties for you.
Gary-right on-Actually passing probation in most State or Federal jobs-same thing-hard to get fired!
Thank you Paul
Be Happy always 😊
No matter what there’s the good the bad and the ugly. You can never be sure. Life can be good regardless. Enjoy it.
Paul, I don’t think it’s a matter of inviting chaos into your life, it seems in both cases the women you were married to “found” men who were of a higher value or your EXs were **disappointed** with what you were offering . Both cases you mentioned “..I should have **NOT** allowed xyz..” it does sound controlling and that might have been the source of some of your “issues” …. The relationships perhaps were not “strong” enough have you might have originally thought.
Many married women work as car salesperson… Many married women do “girls night out” …. You are blaming external factors as opposed to looking into the relationship itself.. Best of luck….
Girls night out are huge red flags. They are basically exploratory missions to see what else is available. Simps allow them, alphas don't.
I like the change in altitude. Some guys act like I know nothing about relationships. I held a marriage together for 40 years. Do that and come back and talk to me. You see a lot of guys here in the PH that are angry at their ex in the west and have carried that here with them & will never have a future here because they can't let go of their past.
Is it only me or aren't just about all of these age-gap relationships just a way out for young and beautiful (and poor) women in the Phils? We convince ourselves that it is us they're dreaming of growing up, while in probably most cases, we're not much more than live ATM:s...
I would like to know the following please:
What if you are taken to the local hospital badly injured, and in a coma state with enough cash in your pocket to pay for the treatment on you but unable to talk ... does this mean you won't be treated for your injuries in the Philippines because you haven't paid first?
Thank you.
I agree with your thinking about not inviting chaos into your life and want to mention two more points that come to mind. First you cannot totally insulate your wife from the temptations in everyday life, that's impossible. It's inevitable she'll be exposed to guys who'll want her to stray or women who tell her she can have another man and get rewarded for that by taking half your assets. It comes down to her character, what does she truly believe in and is not just telling you what she thinks you want to hear. That's why vetting her is so important and that just takes time to figure out but even then, you can never truly know for sure. Our society really works against people who want to be monogamous and stay in a loving relationship. I blame Hollywood for how people's thinking has evolved. Look at shows like Friends, Seinfeld, Frasier, and even the Golden Girls. They all legitimized promiscuity over and over. I do think people absorb that crap into their own lives without even realizing it. They ought to ask themselves "is that really good for me and the way I want to live the rest of my life?" But most never do and fall victim to their temptations - We have met the enemy, he is us. I hope you find peace and love in life Paul, best of luck.
I think the most importent is compatibility and not being in a rush for anything. Invest time to ensure you both are going to be happy or not! Not evveryone is marriage material. Ensure you get married for the right reasons. Many have made mistakes in the past and are scared of commitment or making the same mistake , its just another chapter! Live and learn. Got lucky with my wife we dated for around 3 years before marriage. Best desicion ever for us. Although in life you have to understand that people change sometimes. It's up to you to keep the flames going! Think as people get older they tend to get complacent and lazy! Drink that coffee in the morning to help motivate and live a healthy life! We not going to be on this earth forever so why not enjoy each day like its our last. If marriage is not for you then its ok as well as long as you are happy when you wake up in the morning. Life is not always about ourselves as much as it is about other people. Always be kind to others, and show nothing but love and respect. Wish everyone as safe and happy holiday season.
Ps. Hey Paul hows Texas, is there ever plans to return to the Philippines?
Good to hear from you again fella. When are you going back to the Philippines? I’m 55 years old and I appreciated and tend to agree with your anti-marriage views. But as you say here we can understand why women want to be married.
Relationships and marriage is not for everyone. Also it is said that parenting is not for everyone. They say " You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality." Intention aside, We're all capable in hurting people. However, Eckhart Tolle once said, “You cannot receive what you don't give. Overflow determines inflow. To each their own, our life, our choice. Rule 101: Never gave an excuse. ✌️
Hi paul you are looking good now..And you had the right decision regarding to your past relationship here in d phil.You are very smart man keep safe and enjoy your life being single💙
Accepting one’s view can change over time as new data presents is smart. I predict your opinion of marriage will harden again after you get burned by a future woman who ‘checks all the boxes.’ Such is life. Enjoy the ups and downs.
I believe that getting married is to give her the comfort to gain weight, be mad at you for nothing and depending where you live, to kill you slowly with the feminism rules..
Treat your girl the right way and keep relationship frame so she can be happy and lucky to be beside you..
Glad to hear you are considering it. There's no rush. The hardest part is deciding what's important to you. Being financially well off and totally free of obligations takes half the pressure off you.
Thanks for your post. I did not live with my first wife prior to marriage. Marriage lasted 12 years. I live with my second wife for 2 years and the marriage lasted only 6 years. Now I am engaged to a Filipino 30 years my junior. We have not met and we will be married when my plane lands in Manila. Other than our age difference, we are very compatible. At this stage in my life I am in the need of a wife. I must admit I really would rather have a young wife versus an old one. I really do love this lady. I was never comfortable in my 2 failed marriages because I was more in love with myself than my 2 ex-wives. My fiancée is solid.
I will go for it!
Wow. Engaged but never met with 2 ex-wives already? Stop sending her money and tell us how it goes.
Your crazy. Hate to see that your a brother. 30 years your junior and your gonna marry her upon arrival 😯 man good luck
@@crummyjuggler5574 exactly
I lived with my US wife for two years before we married. The same with my current Thai wife. I would give yourself six months of real life with her before the ceremony.
Good relationships & marriages are possible, it comes down to finding the right woman and vetting her thoroughly before giving her your commitment. The important internal things I look for: similar core values, not invested in social media, never creates drama, is not materialistic, and she understands (and desires) the man takes the lead and the woman follows. All of these signal a woman who is emotionally mature and feminine, and can loyally pair bond to one man. The changes in social and cultural dynamics (with the help of the Internet) is making it more challenging to find such a woman at home or abroad, but good ones are still out there. The mistake a lot of men make is they either don't vet her character for red flags or dismiss her bad behavior. These are the guys that get burned or fleeced by women and they usually have more negative than positive things to say.
You nailed it with social media. It doesn't matter where they are from, once they find social media & become glued to their phones, their thoughts and actions will become modern western womanism. No bother looking for something that doesn't exist any more.
You have to leave it up to fate. A lot of these woman are good liars and will get past your vetting process.
Don’t even would like living fulltime together with a girlfriend so marriage doesn’t even cross my mind at most a LAT relationship. Marriage doesn’t bring any benefits to males with assets.
Hi Paul,,, I can certainly relate to what you was saying,,, especially about your two ex wives,,, and where things went wrong,,, and not inviting carnage into your life,,, same thing happened to me,,, But you didn't mention children,,, and how that changes your life,,, cause if the guy wants to carry on his lifestyle then he's in for a shock,,,
Wow,,,,, you sounded very mature, there are advantages to both sides. I'm personally a purple pill
Sounds like u r having second thoughts?
I believe this was one of your best videos with some good suggestions 👏👏👏
Who are you and where is red pill Paul?
No girls night out. Period.
I totally agree
I want to know how it is possible to stay in the Philippines, long term. I don’t want to wait until retirement. When I have a fixed income source. How are you guys financing your long term stays? Blogging? It doesn’t seem like enough. Telecommuting? If you have those skills. I could use my savings and stay in the Philippines. Then I would be giving up high wages at the end of my career. What do they call that “opportunity cost”. I am a business major. You would think I could figure something out. Suggestions? For revenue streams? I have always wanted to spend a year in the Philippines. Maybe it would be worth it. I am 47, fast approaching 48. Visiting Philippines next week for a month. I have an instant GF waiting for me. We have been chatting, video, and social media with each other for 3 months. My Pinay of 20 years, wants a divorce. American ladies my age just really let themselves go. Some drama is okay, but yes, I try to minimize it. What is life without drama, boring!
Nope.
Marriage by definition is not a bad thing, exactly like going in some business with a partner: join forces may lead to something special . Of course the final result will depend how the partner behave 😁
Just look at the guys walking out of family court in your local city. Lady justice is supposed to be blind. Lady family court has laser vision and will crush you for saying I do.
Ya ill get married cause we watch the same tv shows. Great criteria