Shitstorm V: Shitsurrection - CLAIRE (EXTENDED CUT)
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- Опубликовано: 11 фев 2025
- "Mom had been sick for months and had only gotten worse as the days stretched into months. Things had been hard enough between us before and while we had re-connected slightly, under these circumstances it's a bitter pill to swallow now. I yawned mightily in the air and looked around the dim hospital room; mom was sleeping as usual, and a sour smell hung in the air that I could not pin point. for some reason, this really bothered me so I decided to get up and look through the window just at the foot of mom's bed; a soft patter of rain hit the window and I starred into the darkness. Just then, with a flash of lightning, I saw something out on the cold deserted street...it looked like a long dark figure...and I saw blazing white eyes too. No...it was gone? Was it a shadow? Just my tired eyes playing tricks? I rubbed my temple and felt a headache coming on, the stress has to be getting to me. I sighed and turned around to the room and my blood froze.
Mom's bed was empty.
Intro By:
/ the_m0thman
Sound/Music By: / 2snacks
Female VA: / sarahannewillia
i remember this game. this thing is super depressing. like, david cage wishes he could draw out such sadness
Well, Cage's games do dole out sadness, but out of the players' suffering, not the stories themselves.
Human emotions are a failure of a game designer
it's just a few ellen page rape scenes away from being like a david cage game
Enjoyment is a failure of game design
Richter The D Lucky Tedd's neighbor listening to the action next door sad
Hearing Pat yell "we can open a magic portal back to the Gummy Palace!" made my day.
Nothing is scarier than reality, or rather the uncanny, a familiar yet other sight that upsets the stomach and freezes the nerve. It's why people are afraid of hospitals, and dolls, and Canadians.
whats that aboot eh?
JMarsella9
You will learn to fear and respect our flannel shirts, maple syrup, superior beer and our calm, apologetic demeanor! Ooooooooooo
Especially the flannel shirts
ZeroHero3d *Ahem* British guy with German roots here. What the fuck you doing talking shit about my beer?
Am I gonna have to go 'Green Street' on your ass?
+sans the skeleton British guy with British roots here, You couldn't be more American WITHOUT putting on a fucking floral shirt.
I like Claire's running face. She just looks so pissed off at these ghosts.
"What's that monster? Oh, it's a dog."
Pat was bitten by Woolie and his curse is slowly taking hold.
Besides Rule of Rose and this game, you don't really see any dog companions in survival horror. They're either enemies, dead decorations, or secretly the masterminds behind the whole thing.
GrantBrownDog haunting grounds
Who would have thought randomly running through the first door you pass every time and not looking at anything would make you feel lost?
"The trash is moving"
Did Woolie get a new home?
smalls Haha
Woolie's Moving Castle
Omikron should be the number 1 horror game.
This game's map isn't bad if you realize it's from a top-down perspective. And if you aren't garbage.
You were on time with this upload. Way to learn from your mistakes
***** I'm being sarcastic
***** Dude I don't even know you. Let's not go straight to butt stuff. At least take me to dinner first.
The Arbiter I don't want to be seen in public eating with you, you and ya fuckin gross mandible shit
I could care less, les go.
Angriest Gabu Well could you like order my a pizza or something? I'm hungry
I normally only post my normal 31 days of SHITSTORM Carol. but this episode really hits close to home so here's my second Claire-ol Edition, soooo:
On the 27th day of SHITSTORM two babies gave to me!
27 Traumatic childhood memories
26 bad names mommy called daddy
25 broken thrown plates
24 minutes of crying
23 times I hid under the bed
22 ptsd therapists
21 bottles of empty beer cans
20 times I wish he had died
19 ruined families
18 monsters in the closet
17 years of anguish
16 minutes of yelling
15 holidays ruined
14 dark secrets
13 broken pictures
12 police officers
11 holes in the wall
10 times daddy stabbed mommy
9 calls for help
8 drops of blood
7 monsters in my head
6 gunshots to the chest
FIIIIIIVE FOSTER HOMES
4 minutes dead
3 weeks in a coma
2 buried parents
AND A LIFE TIME OF PTSD
note this is all fictitious, I did grow up in an abusive home but the more violent and distributing parts of this are merely made up for the point of the song. I apologize if shit of this triggered you out made you upset again this is purely fictional and not meant to be taken as real.
21 bottles of empty beer cans? really?
Dude, go outside or something. You've far too much free time on your hands.
Just like a fine wine these Sh!tstorm videos just get better with time.
I just recently tried a Pumpkin Spice beverage. That shit is amazing. I am now the kind of Pumpkin Spice Trash Matt and Pat make fun of. I ain't even mad.
+Matterking That's exactly why
Yo, isn't that basically like gingerbread dough? My mom makes a ton of cookies and cakes with a similar mix of spices during Christmas and it's like my favorite thing about the holiday. Cinnamon, pepper, cloves, ginger and nutmeg make for a fucking dope cookie, man.
Pumpkin Spice stuff is garbage tier.
Welcome, friend. We've been waiting for you.
Jamal Pollok Hey now, there's no need for that type of language. It's Halloween; we don't say that filthy C-word around here. This is an xmas-free zone.
I normally only post my normal 31 days of SHITSTORM Carol. but this episode really hits close to home so here's my 27 days Claire-ol Edition, soooo Trigger warning ahead:
On the 27th day of SHITSTORM two babies gave to me!
27 Traumatic childhood memories
26 bad names mommy called daddy
25 broken thrown plates
24 minutes of crying
23 times I hid under the bed
22 ptsd therapists
21 empty beer cans
20 times I wish he had died
19 ruined families
18 monsters in the closet
17 years of anguish
16 minutes of yelling
15 holidays ruined
14 dark secrets
13 broken pictures
12 police officers
11 holes in the wall
10 times daddy stabbed mommy
9 calls for help
8 drops of blood
7 monsters in my head
6 gunshots to the chest
FIIIIIIVE FOSTER HOMES
4 minutes dead
3 weeks in a coma
2 buried parents
AND A LIFE TIME OF PTSD
note this is all fictitious, I did grow up in an abusive home but the more violent and distributing parts of this are merely made up for the point of the song. I apologize if shit of this triggered you out made you upset again this is purely fictional and not meant to be taken as real.
I hope you're doing better now, but I just have to say............................... that your #4 is off by 410,757,864,526 at LEAST.
"21 bottles of empty beer cans"
how'd you get the cans inside of the bottles?
Christopher Heck evidently dad was a magician :p
And here I thought it helped to have a map.
GOOD EVENING, M'LORD
I love the way the monster teleports. It is great from both a gameplay perspective and an aesthetic spook-spective.
He teleports behind you. That means you can go into a dead end room and not get cornered (common with many of these horror games, which basically means 'fuck me, I lost'). AT the same time he teleports right next to you, which scares your shit.
Why didn't you just continue since you just SAVED the game, Pat?
SyaZam SHUT UP THOUGH!!!
I didn't know what to expect, but really cool-looking game! Basically a 2D Silent Hill (the protagonist even looks like Heather from SH3), but hey, that's cool!
There are actually 3 main areas in the game. Hospital, School, and Apartment building with some creepy otherworldly areas thrown in as well. It's a pretty cool game that's sort of like Lone Survivor.
The aesthetic of this game reminds me so much of Lone Survivor that I had to wonder if it was designed by the same guys.
Heads-up, the hospital is only the first location in the game, of 4-5 (I say 4-5 since it was 4 in the original game, but I hear the Extended Edition has a new location).
This game reminds me of that one game they played a couple Shitstorms back. I think its name was Lone Survivor? Guy wearing a mask trapped inside an apartment building?
Which is probably why they said "You like the Lone Survivor yeah" " this is verWOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA" "games is a bit like it" at 3:20
Pretty sure this is made by the same person.
lol We're not the people who made Lone Survivor.
David Mason who the hell are you?
Hadarouken One of the guys that made Claire.
Oh, I remember watching Jesse Cox play this game. Very Lone Survivor-y. I like it.
I can't decide what better,(or worse) Pat's swearing like sailor and generally negative parenting skills, or Woolie's borderline neglectful and hands off parenting.
circular7 What?
I was in the hospital for a while a few years ago and they had special dogs that would come to visit patients that wanted to see them.
ANUBIS I SUMMON THEE
A shame she doesn't have Anubis the sword Stand. That'd probably be really useful here.
Full lets play of this would be nice.
Game about Claire Dames, fucking finally, I've been waiting for so long
that start looks a lot like Silent Hill 3. Might end up getting this game eventually.
claire looks way more like Heather Mason, I think.
THEY NEED TO DO A FULL SILENT HILL 3 PLAYTHOUGH
*No.*
_Yes._
Blackemperess *Nein.*
warlerker
They've already stated that Silent Hill games are _In Case Of Emergency Break Glass_ titles for them. So they will eventually play it.
For a second there I thought that was Aigis in the thumbnail and now I'm sad since we're not getting a Persona LP anytime soon.
Description: "Mom had been sick for months and had only gotten worse as the days stretched into months."
Too spooked, had to stop
The true horror: awkward syntax
I remember seeing bits of this game on another channel quite some time ago, but it certainly is quite tense and gross-feeling for sure.
Also obligatory "how much impossible space can you travel within the frozen time?"
Claire! You're back! I missed you, Darling!
Holy shit the intro with the bears messes me the heck up each time
It must be the first time in forever when an episode has been out but none of the popular commenters has an already three-digit upvoted witty phrase related or not to the playing or not-playing of a certain colored Blaz, or on a certain ménage deniar and pie stealer's abyss, or on a french men that wish he was a bad movie director instead of a bad game director. Or a picture of an anime girl! There's those going around nowadays too!
Reading this made me feel like I was having a stroke...+1 top comment.
Don't worry, they're here somewhere. Plotting their witty repetitive comments.
Is your profile pic porn?
am I the only one that doesn't get tired of their shitstorm intros?
"up to the point I played I don't know what the fuck, not even a clue. so that's that" thanks Matt-sempai.
When's more Let's Watch Metal Gear Solid 4?
I think Konami made them stop.
vicjer77 Konami made them stop MGS4 but not 5 or Ground Zeroes? Or the MGS machinima episode? That's odd.
That was from a time where cease and desist was fucked in a different way on RUclips.
Shut down by Konami, but I bet now they could continue. We need to pull together and make them continue.
It might be possible at this point, but I feel like the momentum has been lost. As much as I love MGS4, it might be better to just leave it.
PLEASE DO A SILENT HILL 3 FULL PLAYTHROUGH FOR THE FINALE THANKS MUCH LOVE TO YOU MATT FOR STARTING THIS CHANNEL, I appreciate the hard work you guys do. hope this feeds your ego.
What do you guys reckon this year's Shitstorm lp will be? My koopeys're on Silent Hill 4.
SH3 was what they've hinted
if it is 3, i'll have gotten everything i'd hoped for this shitstorm
The Pickles Shouldn't they play 1 before that tho?
I think that aside from the escort mission at the final boss, 4 is actually good, it had some issues, but it tried to use well the evil cult plot.
***** I'm just curious about the game. I've only ever heard that it wasn't that good and I want to know what's wrong with it.
So, I've heard you like impossible space, Pat. But can you handle... _THIS_ much impossible space!?
Wait, Jasper Byrne made Lone Survivor, right? If it's the SAME Jasper Byrne, then he made some of the fucking BEST songs in Hotline Miami 1 AND 2.
His brother Dave isn't half bad either.
I was weaving my head back and forth at 14:00 because I thought there were real flies buzzing by my ears. Then I realized I was wearing headphones.
11:32 - Keys in a bag of jellybeans. Can of lightbulbs. Moonstone in a walnut. An umbilical chord in your landlord's room. Spear in a toilet. I didn't play the rest of the games.
Is it weird that I immediately understood the map and how movement works in this?
I immediately started reading green bitter bear's lines in Woolie's voice
TIS ETHAN!
The spookiest part of the game was that the dog was a stand user. And it's stand was called Anubis
Claire, here's a lockpick. It might be handy if you, the Master of Unlocking, take it with you.
when's gartender?
I just realized, every single Shitstorm video title is in caps.
MetroAndroid Good for you man.
R.I.P. Vessel
Cant believe shitstorms almost over... I'm sad.
Is a cute "hang in there" poster some kind of running gag in horror? That was in House of Jumpscares too.
I keep mishearing it as "Shits Erection"
Now that they have an office space, we're not going to hear Zach and Leelu running around in the background D:
the scariest thing about this game is that map, holy crap.
Peds is the scariest part of any hospital. Mostly because children hate me, and then they start screaming.
Pat didn't misspeak. He does occasionally mistake the boys bathroom for the ladies, and believes the ladies is filled with trashbags and gunk.
This shitstorm is definitely an improvement from last year the majority of these games are really interesting and this game to, seems like a 2D Silent Hill with nice artstyle.
I'm glad I can always rely of Maxcell batteries to power my Neverunprepared flashlight. When the power goes out, it helps me find my Nimpemgo 4DS so I can play Socket Creatures Solar & Lunar. If I get hungry, it helps me find my keys so I can drive to the nearest McDurndald's in my Hosoda and pick up a Large Mick and a Salt M.D.
That crazy nightmare house in the beginning is basically how my house looked after I ate Mac and cheese as a kid. Why my sisters kept trying to convenience me that that garbage was edible I will never know.
Stan Sketches What?! You hate Mac n cheese?! That stuff's delicious bro!
Michael Murphy Its the bane of my existence man. Its like I did something to its family or something. I can't even smell the stuff without gaging.
Stan Sketches We can't be friends no more...
Michael Murphy 😢
Michael Murphy What is this..."sleep"..you speak of?
I came too fath,my spookometer is all out of wack
This reminds me of the first time my parents fought...good times...
to be fair, I saw that lump of pixels in the corner at the beginning as a person hunched over grabbing their gut in pain, but I guess it could also be described as a dog as well.
Jumpscare count and times spoiler:
none
so, how many hear the spoopy music at the beginning of the video and you say "THIS FAAAALL" in perfect synchrony with the video?
I dated a woman named Claire once... that was fuckin' scary.
You know why?
She had two kids.
DONT LOOK BACK! DONT ASK QUESTIONS, JUST RUN!
oh, god. why would you plague yourself like that, folger's signature pickles blend-kun?
I SAID NO QUESTIONS
KEEP RUNNING
agree.single moms are really scary monsters.
THAT LOOKS LIKE AIGIS IN THE THUMBNAIL.
PERSONA 3 LP CONFIRMED! DO IT
Don't be play'n with my emotions Smokey!
+AfroMetalMizu orig10.deviantart.net/c53f/f/2010/249/4/3/aigis___persona_3_by_burningtoxic-d2y596q.png
***** Hnnnghh... YEEEEEE!
AfroMetalMizu Crap.
***** Best Persona waifu
are you guys playing dark souls 3 dlc or do you NOT want free money?
After the storms of shit.
Crying Ocelot its coming dont worry. they confirmed it during the vr stream
Crying Ocelot Oh yes the Huge One is ready to be wrecked by the Blackflame.
when's more minecraft story mode? that's the true shitstorm
This LP is FUCKING RUINED by the fact that Pat isn't Green Bitter Bear.
He'll always be Green Bitter Bear in his heart.
f i v e
i might actually have a look at it. my primary problem with blazblue is that there aren't alot of characters that i have fun playing as, but i'll see how the additions fare
Chris Merkel Studios You're like Spawn ;P Counting down like that. But whatever you got planned CAN'T beat my Jack-O drawing ;9
AfroMetalMizu
Of course it can't. It's literally nothing.
Chris Merkel Studios ....What're you plotting?!
AfroMetalMizu
Fucking nothing! Stop asking!
**sweats nervously**
Dashing jumpah!
That is, in fact, a good map.
Jesus christ why is the game so dark? Even the steam screenshots are brighter than this.
Are you late for an appointment, Pat? Is that why you're mashing through dialogue before it's on screen for more than a second? Is that why you're just holding a direction and hammering X?
I have plenty more options than that, silly. One of them is to leave a comment which expresses my opinion in a slightly mocking (but clearly facetious) manner. Hopefully no whiny cunts get upset about it.
Did they play Fran Bow? I think that's my favorite. There's also one a little similar out now called Sally Face.
Ginger Bitter Bear would have given them quite a fright.
jesus is pat getting worse with controls over time
side effect of becoming an old,bald,fat,short ginger
Becoming?
Imma assume he meant an older, balder, fatter, shorter, gingerer, ginger. For simplicity's sake.
Well he is dying and all.
didn't wanna make it sounds as bad as it actually is
Oh my god is this intro a hint to the final season of shitsorm
Huh. Where is the lovely Chan of Ball Gags and Leather to give me more of Woolie's twin brother he ate in the womb?
FUCK FUCK FUCK IS THIS FOUR TIMES IN A ROW IT HASN'T WORKED? CAN YOU EVEN SEE THIS? PLEASE TELL ME THIS GETS THROUGH AT LEAST. AM I TALKING TO MYSELF? IS THIS THE HELL I'VE BEEN CONFINED TO?!
Bondage-chan I see you. :3 Bad internet, huh?
Don't worry, I see you. I always have.
We see you Bondage-chan have no fear.
+Bondage-chan it's still not working bro.. I cant see your comment at all.
in the intro i just noticed that the TV says "perfect Cal" and that s a funny little easter egg.
Good choice of game for the Shitsurrection. * v *
Intro is feeling its length at this point, not gonna lie.
Yeah, its a good intro but its a bit long. I skipped it after the first two times. Not really a big deal.
the intros this year are all great but they feel like they'd be better off as short one offs. 2snacks' and the silent film one were pretty good tho, fit well and whatnot
noooooo i want a whole playthrough of this oneeeeee D:
no its a garbage game
so? doesnt mean it wont make a great playthrough. these guys make shitty games look great.
FULL LP DAMMANIT!
I hope spookycookies does a comp when this is over.
I'm starting to worry that RUclips has Bondage-chan, the Keeper of the Lore, locked up in a basement.
You guys should consider playing more of the game. From what I've read you can get different endings and stuff like that.
A little awkward being named Claire and living in a city called Santa Barbara....saint or St. Barbara for short.
Yeah, the map is a big problem in Lone Survivor too. Couldn't finish the game because of that, there's just a point where it fucks me over.
EXTENDED CUT
30 minutes long
god damn it
All the audio is good? I don't trust this episode already
I think i bought this 5 mins into watching markiplyer play this. Never finisher the video cus i don't want to spoil it.
Blond girl with blue eyes in a red jacket experiences creepy in and out of world horrors in her dreams and ongoing life while talking to her parent and has to hide from evil monsters in a hazy world, but can survive a few attacks.
I'm not describing silent hill at all. Honest.
Did anyone notice the video cut at 13:08?
hey matt and pat I have a question how did this channel start? who founded it theres like 4 of you.
ok thxs
Basically they made a pact with the devil (machinima) but started to put out standalone content which is far more popular than what they did with the demons that they were bound to by a blood pact (contract).
Jesus, this looks a Hell of a lot like it was made by the same people who did Lone Survivor. Or at least runs on the same engine.