DO YOU HAVE MALE PRETTY PRIVILEGE
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- Опубликовано: 31 июл 2024
- What is the male equivalent of pretty privilege. Women get special treatment for their looks, but how do men finesse the same thing. Looking at Jay-Z, Michael B. Jordan, and the gay community (trade/DL men as well) I explore the dynamics of performing masculinity to achieve status. Masculine men gain favor in an almost toxic way amongst gay men due to the fetishization of the dl man in the closet. Especially in the Black community, Black men's ability to perform masculine behaviors corresponds to their desirability/attractiveness (Michael B. Jordan), popularity (DL men) and acceptance (Jay-Z). I've previously made a video about red pill ideology, there is no red pill toxicity in this video. This is not a tutorial on how to make women like you and become some kind of alpha male or a powerful and dominant man. Red pill and red pill influencers are toxic.
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0:00 Click Here
1:44 Jay-Z's Charm
4:11 MBJ Charm
5:18 Dl/Trade Men
6:58 My Catfish Story
As society changes, so does our definition for things. It’s best not to live your life according to society’s
definitions for stuff (within reason) and live according to your own rules. Just be aware of how things work around you.
If you won't put your thoughtfulness into words on a page, why not? I'd buy your book in a second sight unseen, for you have what it takes and, of course, then some.
@@kevinboone2178 I'm a photographer and definitely wanna make a book with my photos and words. It's coming
MAKING MONEY in a (Native) Black American context isn't necessarily centered in gender, in notions of masculinity. The first female millionaire in our lineage was Madame C.J. Walker. And because race and gender were significant obstacles in her time, Walker was singularly sensational, as many White women then, and a few Black ones, inherited wealth. Today the list of our wealthiest include Janice Bryant Howroyd, founding pres. & CEO, ACT-1 Group (first African American woman to start and run a multibillion-dollar business); Sheila Johnson (BET, sports team owner & hotelier), entertainment mogul Oprah Winfrey; financier/author Mellody Hobson (spouse of filmmaker George Lucas), and Beyonce. But, yes, tech giant David Stewart, Byron Allen (The Weather Channel), financier Robert F. Smith, Tyler Perry, Kanye West, Dr. Dre and Jay-Z have their places...lol.
Masculinity was also largely defined by heterosexuality. That's why when a dude was feminine, he was automatically assumed to be gay even if he was a heterosexual feminine guy. So, my question is why do alot of gay guys prefer masculinity when it historically never included them?
I think masculinity is first and foremost defined by power. Heterosexuality is simply a characteristic of that as for many it's a performance of dominating woman. I find a lot of relationships, gay and straight, still have a want for that similar power dynamic where somebody "where's the pants".
@@HigherVideos that's a good point, and thank you for answering my question. Yes, I definitely do like that power dynamic, and I can't speak for everyone, but I know for sure it's so hot for me to find a man that "where's the pants" in my relationship. Someone who's strong, and powerful. I like that
I have a problem with the dark skin and unattractive comment. There are plenty of beautiful dark skin people. That sounded colorist. You can be slightly out of shape and still have a nice looking face.
Yea, they comment was weird
Dark skin is toooooo beautiful!
I like dark skin
Perfect analysis!!!!
Appreciate it 🙏🏾
Truthfully Tyler Perry has a more fit body than people think.
looking at Tyler perry naked would be like looking at my gay aunt .... "gurl put your shirt back on!" ...
@@dispecableme4210 LOL
@@dispecableme4210 I know right
He’s just not attractive to me even as a bi man
wow ive never thought about this before, great video very educational
I think your videos are great! Please start posting again.♥️
This was so interesting information I enjoy watching💕💕💕💕💕
YOUR VIDEOS ARE SO PROFESSIONAL
💪🏾 appreciate that man
It’s one in the morning and you here spitting facts *Straight facts*
We love to see it 😂🙏🏾
I feel like I could listen to you tell stories all day 😂
Appreciate that man lol
Yeah you are a rarity that’s why your perspective is a gem
Man, you speak so well
Barbie went back in the box lmao
😂
Please explain more about gay men dating community. It’s like a new thing to hear to me as a heterosexual woman.
I really enjoyed this video. And your very handsome 😍
"Barbie went back in the box..."....😂
🤣🤣🤣
I had no idea you were gay until you said you were gay. I'm subscribing now, I need to see more masculine gay black men.
Your right, my fav part of this video is your point about the homosexual populous. Fem homosexuals are RARE but they make up the majority of the OUT. Masculine Outs are more rare than both fem Outs and mascdl but still represent the homosexual MAJORITY along with the dl.
That's cuz being OUT and CLOSETED are both AUTHENTIC homosexual traits. Your version of being authentic is telling others, my version of authentic is Not telling others, I don't avoid telling others, i simply don't consider it and it's actually not due to homophobia. I wouldn't consider it REGARDLESS because I don't believe that all homosexuals are gay for that is an Identity not an orientation.
And honestly, there's nothing I do in the presence of homophobia that I wouldn't do in it's absence.
That's valid, glad you enjoyed the video
You just have to work out and eat healthy that will literally level up your appearance. Mix that with self love and making sure your mental health is in order and there you go.
Exactly
Listen ladies and gentlemen . Your identity is who you are. Not your gender. And don't try to fit in people's perspective as we know people are quick to judge, assume. Many people have already proved others that gender norms are false or a quick judgement about males and females. And, how you look does not define you, who you are defines you.
I normally say this
You look hooot-u have gd luks n rich like Tyga woods
You look dope-u dont look gd but u got swagg n cash like Jay z
You look handsome-u look extremely good n u maintain that look with or without money like Trey Songz
Good looking guy-u naturally look fine without any effort
An intelligent king!! fire bro!! and really spot on with the jay z, tyler perry, mbj refs!
Appreciate that bro 💪🏾
Boy, you better go AWF with that Nicki Minaj statement. I love it. Had to click like. I’m over here binge watching your videos for the first time.
I’m just seeing this months later but I think what makes a man more attractive is just Masculinity and Wealth. If a man is masculine with money then he’s already a 7/10 then actually physical attractiveness just adds to it
Loved your video and imagining MBJ twerking was funnier than it was supposed to be😂😂😂 but I got questions. Firstly, what exactly is masculinity because the definition has evolved over the years where previously, men couldn't cry without being demasculinized nor could they wear pink (I don't know if that was just a South African rule or y'all had it too), or apply nail polish or wear a skirt; but now, those things are labeled as "toxic masculinity" and men Can cry, apply nail polish and Still get to keep their masculinity, which leads me to my second question which is, if men can be more expressive with their fashion and behaviours without being stripped of their masculinity, then why can't gay men also be expressive with their fashion choices and behaviours without being stripped of their masculinity? What exactly is "normal"? (Sorry for the length but I hope I make sense)
That makes perfect sense. What you’re acknowledging is that masculinity is socially defined, it’s not some intrinsic characteristic. That means what’s considered masculine changes depending on your social context. Accordingly, you’re ability to gain status based off your performance of masculinity changes depending on your social context aka who you’re around.
@@HigherVideos If we say masculinity is socially defined, do we mean it (masculinity) depends on whether or not the people around me consider my actions masculine? If yes, then why can't a man in heels be considered masculine the same way a man with coloured nails is? Thus my question, what exactly is masculinity in the first place?
@@withanelekay5673 Exactly, there’s nothing stopping high heels from being considered masculine and once upon a time little boys wore dresses. As society changes, so does our definition for things. It’s best not to live your life according to society’s definitions for stuff (within reason) and live according to your own rules. Just be aware of how things work around you.
@@iamseanhenry2392 Do You have an answer cause this shit's confusing as hell
@@withanelekay5673 overall society will determine what’s masculine & it will constantly change. The answer would be, like he said, you the individual define what masculinity looks like for you & live that out in your daily life. However, be mindful that another person may define masculinity differently and will judge you based “their” definition.
Society does value masculinity for men, but that same society valued heterosexuality from men not too long ago. May I ask, why is it as gay men we take on that same societal value of masculinity, when that same society valued groups of people that oppressed us?
because unless we completely alienate ourselves from society there will always be a hierarchy, and there I'll always be people that try to manoeuvre on that pyramid. Everybody struggles to benefit from socially desirable, SYMBOLIC constructs.
@@itsryanlovell agreed, but my question is can egalitarianism ever be obtained?
Idk I had a discussion about this. I think pretty privilege goes both ways. You just automatically have it easier in life when you are physically desirable in a conventional way. When I came in to my adult body and settled out of puberty I got my current looks. I can’t tell you how my entire world shifted because of it. Personality wise I was the same in the beginning. As it went on though an higher social aptitude was developed soley because I had access to social circles that are made up of “the pretty people” it’s definitely a thing and it can distort reality if you’re not careful of the vanity of it all. You begin putting your worth in your appearance and that’s a set up for failure every time.
What if you’re just attractive? Being dark skin and having a look that is marketable is what is important. For black men the rules are a little different but, it still boiling down to your looks..
A mans looks won't get him nearly as far as a woman's will. Women can sleep their way to the top and get wifed up by millionaires and billionaires even when their gold digging bums if they look good. If a man is a bum or deviates too far from what society says a man should do, his looks will get him little to nowhere.
@@HigherVideos I agree with for about 50%. For example you and I are both attractive black men (according to society. For a black man based off featurism) You’re more masculine than myself since i know this I play to my strengths. Being a black man with some exotic features (according to my location now) is far more attractive than masculinity. From your features you will gain access faster and easier than other people. Your ability to adopt a heteronormative idea of what you think a gay, masculine , black man suppose to be is perplexing. Someone with the platform you have one would think you’ll be more wise. In how you convey you message.
When you think of masculinity we’re constructing our ideas from heteronormative lifestyle. As members of the LGBT+ community we need to set our own standards within our community so the world and other queer people can know.
@@ayo_moreno I won't debate what you find attractive, that's your business and that's not what this video is about. This video is about social desirability. What society values, and what men are given status for is their gender performance (making money, being strong, confidence, etc.) Pretty boy's with nothing to offer have less opportunities than pretty women with nothing to offer (strippers, house wives, models), being a pretty woman is lucrative.
As for heteronormativity, I did not define masculinity by any performances of heterosexuality in this video. I assume what you have a problem with is me operating and identifying with a normative understanding of what a man is and you disapprove of me extending that standard to the gay community because it typically doesn't include gay men. Here you have found the uniqueness in my channel.
I don't treat gender and sexuality as the same thing and none of the mentioned masculine traits have anything to do with being gay or straight. It's very funny you called this video heteronormative when it's literally they complete opposite of that, maybe you need to watch it a second time lol
I went to school with a girl who had pretty privileges. I've even heard someone refer to her as the "pretty black girl" 😂
I only juss found out about Tyler Perry and I don’t understand how you think he’s ugly
Matter of opinion and general consensus but everybody got they own view on what's attractive, this is just my viewpoint
Thats what im saying tyler perry is better looking than the guy in this video! My opinion
Ya whole energy it’s like I’m hearing myself talk. Idk how I came across your videos , was like homie cute hold up, then u started speaking I’m like yooo this dude is speaking my vibe man. I’m gay, naturally masculine secure in my manhood and content with what I like. always said if I wanted all that fem shit I think I would’ve been str8 lmao
"Trade" ... silent laugh
In my opinion pretty privilege for women does not compare with pretty privilege for men. They are both desired by other people but for women pretty privilege is ONLY based on appearance and they can get everything through that only while for men even if you look physically desirable, if you re not socially wanted, that goes to dust because men dont like to be around you and women THEMSELVES rarely approach men in general. Idk if you get what I mean
Privilege is perks that you get for being a certain way. Women who are pretty may get perks. Men don't get perks for being masculine. Men only get perks for when they have money, which you briefly mentioned. The difference between Perry and Jay-Z is that Perry has been coded as gay for decades, and sis, you and me both know that he gay. MBJ is a biggish deal in the black community, be he's still grinding and struggling to make it really big in Hollywood. His looks, money, and masculinity are only getting him so far. Trying to figure out how has privilege and how much and how it's helping them is a headache and an impossible tally at the end of the day. Ain't no way to really sus it out. Also, I think we both know that MBJ is gay. I disagree with the DL talk: I have no respect for DL guys, I think they're cowards. Ion fuck with em. Good video and very thouoghtful.
Listen dear. This is not 1950s anymore. Women mostly nowadays make their own money. And. No. Both men and women are valued because of their pretty look or handsome look no matter how poor he is. So many people are just so shallow.
Men can be sexualized. Look at any A level blockbuster actor. Unlike women who in our patriarchal society have their value placed highly on their looks. Men get a pass for being good providers. If you are male and have a job house and car, those items can compensate for your looks with a woman who wants to know here mate can provide for her and their children. Now gay men get a whammy because as males they are expected to be financially sound or career set. That's why you see kept beauties with not as attractive wealthy men or older men who just want youth and beauty. Men are visual creatures and if you think beauty standards don't hit us as hard look at any advertisement for a circuit party. And let's not get started on the privileges of being endowed that is a whole other topic. Long story short as our society changes with gender equality men have been feeling the pressure for a beauty like women have had to endure.
Beauty standards for men have little consequences compared to women so I don't think it makes sense to compare them. In the video, I make the point that men are held to a standard of masculinity instead of beauty.
I thought about your response and masculinity is a spectrum. How we are judged by as men depends on who is perceiving us at the time. In our youth you can be judged on your virility, how strong are you, your physical presence, as you grow older it's what you've accomplished or have accumulated. I fit man in his 40s has less social capital if he is unmarried and still living like a student than a out of shape 30 year old with a wife and kids. As you grow older you learn more core masculin values, such as confidence, wisdom, fortitude you can appreciate a wider range of what masculinity is. Let's look at Billy Porter and Rue Paul. In the past they would not have been looked upon as men but their integrity and fortitude make them more masculin, because they are willing to fight, live and lead as their authentic selves. A log cabin republican living a lie because he is not man enough to live his truth is less than. As our society changes and we see the role of men evolving we get a better look at what and who we truly are. I'm going to be pretentious and recommend a book from back in the day, Robert Bly (check the spelling) Iron John, that book discusses male spirituality. Unlike women who operate on the architypes of maiden , mother and crone are all tied to their biology. Men don't have that thus an evolution or changing standards of masculinity, based on society and what we value at the time.
@@calvinbethea3369 Just like women's beauty standards change depending on what type of people they're around, so does views on a man's masculinity. You are correct.
Tyler Perry is at least a 6
The eye of the beholder I guess 😂
@@HigherVideos true
2
I was told i was one of most beautiful brown skinned man they ever met...bc of my smile and personality..lol..
Lol the cute thing was one of Jay-Z’s lyrics lol, they weren’t actually calling him cute 😂😂
I know the song but they weren’t singing, they were abstracting that message and telling that girl how they felt about Jay Z lol
Jay ain’t ugly at all... I admit I don’t like much his hair but he is a handsome man
Matter of opinion I guess.
He’s somewhat handsome with a cut I’d agree. Only with a low cut tho.
😵💫
Jay Z a three I died!! That face definitely below the bar. But that money sits high.
L O L !
Stop calling people ugly. Eye of the beholder. I don't believe you said that!
Just going only by the looks I think Tyler Perry looks way better than Jayz. Tyles has got nicer features compared to Jay. A nice smile and he is buff. I'm just saying.
I would compare you to jayz!
🤨
💚
🙏🏾
👀 friends huh
😈
@@HigherVideos don’t give me that emoji I’ll slide right in your Instagram dm 😂😎
Lol I experience “pretty privilege” it has nothing to do with money for me..
Jonathan Brandis is proof that masculinity isn't necessary to be the most beautiful (and extremely desired at one point) White male to ever exist.
Also- Tyler Perry isn't ugly like Jay-Z, so I wouldn't expect straight dudes to be calling him 'cute' (ironically) like they did with Jay. 🤷🏿♂️
10:15 - Why are so many gay dudes into Nikki Manaj? 🙄
Plus you comparing Cardi B (by far the most popular female rapper out right now, followed by Megan Thee Stallion) to a female rapper you consider the 'best' is very much like Lil Uzi and PlayBoi Carti being compared to the top 5 of all time. 🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️🤷🏿♂️
So your analogy doesn't work the way you intended it to.
There's nothing overly feminine about Jonathan Brandis that takes away from his masculinity and he was a child for most of his career so that was a weird person to bring up.
Your Tyler Perry point is an opinion, you're entitled to feel that way.
And THE WHOLE POINT of the Cardi Nicki comparison is that it is EXACTLY like comparing Playboi Carti to a GOAT like Lil Wayne. Because Nicki is a woman, people will disrespect her by comparing her to Cardi B, who doesn't write any of her raps. Cardi does not count as a rapper any more than Arianna Grande after 7 Rings.
You don't seem to have understood this video very well. I'm responding bcuz the engagement is appreciated but there was no merit to a single point you made. Keep watching tho, I'm sure you'll learn something.
1997 Leonardo don't have male pretty privileges. If guys look like Alain Delon, you telling me he don't have pretty privileges. Michael B. Jordan is not even all that, if he wasn't famous he would be just an average man.
You are not that masculine
😂 not iyalna
I was shocked too 😂
Bruh why is this the truth though?
Patriarchy
@@HigherVideos Facts! Love your Channel btw!
@@hemiproctor7155 appreciate that man
not dark skin and unattractive
😂I'm saying
Nah.. Jay Z ain't pretty he may be attractive for his physique and money but he's not handsome lol.
Oh your gay???