I bet he'd secretly love to live in a universe in which he and Andrea Bennett are a politically indifferent couple running a small diner in South Dakota.
I love that in a segment as rapid fire and over the top as this one, they still had time for a subtle joke like, “Well I don’t think we’d be a couple very concerned with politics,” ... when they’re both NEWS ANCHORS.
Not true. South Dakota is the worst Dakota. He clearly secretly desires to live in a universe in which he and Andrea Bennett are a politically indifferent couple running a small diner in North Dakota.
I love how Gary Johnson is the sixth possibility, just above "dancing outlawed" and just below "dogs take over the White House". No love for the libertarian, eh?
The onion asks the real questions the other media outlets don't dare to ask or answer. That's why I keep coming back. I shudder to think what would become of journalistic standards without the Onion.
That was weird. At the end of this video, I was actually waiting for them to pan over to Romney concession speech...then there was just a black screen. So sad and alone.
"Let's consider for a moment that Democrats and Republicans unite, and vote in such a manner that would draw a penis on the electoral college map" OH GOD THAT WOULD BE GLORIOUS
The "Dancing outlawed" thing was an actual plot in a rhythm game released on the Playstation 2 or 1. You danced to gain support to overthrow the evil dictator. This is why I love The Onion, obscure? Not likely on their website or in their videos. Or someone just threw something out there during brainstorming. Does not matter The Onion is great!
Andrea: Who wins (when we're married)? Jason: I win. You come a very close second. I, of course, mean that in a romantic "I'm so lucky to have you way" not a "get your mind out of the gutter way".
Wish they did: Well who wins in that scenario Jason? Well I think it's clear that you would Andrea. Awww, oh you! And then we all begin to ship Jason and Andrea ;)
'I'm not finished yet Andrea'
HA in your face😁
@@whoareyouyouareclearlylost323 wut
"Gary Johnson wins"
Come on, guys, let's not take this too far.
Well there are infinite universes
@@jonathansauceda589 Not that many infinite universes.
@@locusarete3499 well I mean it must be pretty rare in the *MULTIVERSE*
Yee but they correctly predicted Biden... not with the supernova tho.
@@KasumiRINA They kinda spoiled the finale of 2021 with that one...
I bet he'd secretly love to live in a universe in which he and Andrea Bennett are a politically indifferent couple running a small diner in South Dakota.
I love that in a segment as rapid fire and over the top as this one, they still had time for a subtle joke like, “Well I don’t think we’d be a couple very concerned with politics,” ... when they’re both NEWS ANCHORS.
Unexpectedly wholesome for the Onion
I would also love to live in that universe
Not true. South Dakota is the worst Dakota. He clearly secretly desires to live in a universe in which he and Andrea Bennett are a politically indifferent couple running a small diner in North Dakota.
@@Artyomthewalrus this comment was written by a North Dakotan
Fun fact - the penis-shaped map at 1:05 produces an exact 269-269 electoral college tie!
The text at the bottom right after says "Certain penises would result in electoral tie"
Nice
If Alaska and Hawaii go to the penis party then you would be correct
Nice
"Certain Penises would result in Electoral Tie"
In his heart of hearts, Jason Copeland dreams of the day when *this* will be the reality where he and Andrea buy that diner.
I love how Gary Johnson is the sixth possibility, just above "dancing outlawed" and just below "dogs take over the White House". No love for the libertarian, eh?
First of all, no. Second, it's not a ranked list.
@@JohnSmith-ox3gy He is the only sane person to be in most libertarian debates.
To be fair, the chances of a Democrat or Republican dog being elected is far more likely than a third party human
No one loves Libertarians.
@从 Deadpoppin 从 The Texas power grid.
I was expecting him to answer "we", when she asked him who would win if they were a couple running a small diner in South Dakota
"I'M NOT FINISHED ANDREA!" Haha that was soo funny
I've been shipping Andrea/Jason for years!
In the middle of sex: "Im not finished yet Andrea"
Nice
@@absolutelynothing3621 Nice.
@@Lowkey-NoPressure Nice.
@@robsan5410 Nice.
0:30 “Comforting pile of flapjacks” sounds pretty good right now ...
Now even better!
"dancing outlawed, soulful rebel wins nation's heart, brings back dancing" LOL Onion you have done it again
This seriously reminds me of that SCP that is a book just predicting the end of the world in different realities
which scp is that?
@从 Deadpoppin 从 oh fuck oh shit
The State of Massachusetts is also an SCP
@@urgence1271 or the lacktherof yes
Oh God... Romney vs Obama was almost 8 years ago.. why is time going so fast
@从 Deadpoppin 从 I was also 7 years old
I was 6
Shout outs to the 15 yos watching the onion hell yeah, getting raised right by the algorithm 👏
You’ll never believe how long it’s been now
Honey, those were the good times.
There's also an alternate universe where the onion is satire. Wild.
The onion asks the real questions the other media outlets don't dare to ask or answer. That's why I keep coming back. I shudder to think what would become of journalistic standards without the Onion.
"Romney Wins, Obama Elected"
really don't need parallel universes to understand this, the way the guy got treated in office
ngl he kinda just inherited america at a shit time, and this is from someone on neither side
"Candidates drown in sea not marked in any map."
Apple maps?
Biden Wins
I can confidently say this is my favorite onion video I've ever watched. I've watched hundreds of these as well.
I think my favorite is when they teach a gorilla he will die some day. The onion talks about fucking a 'not a real dog' was pretty up their too.
“Some bullshit happening somewhere ” is my favorite.
ruclips.net/video/9U4Ha9HQvMo/видео.html
i like the one with the missing teen but this is amazing as well
When you upgrade to the self-aware package on interdimensional cable
John McCain's last concession speech was pretty good.
who cares about the tsunami, long as I get a steaming pile of flapjacks!
Comforting. It's a _comforting_ pile of flapjacks.
Wait a second, something is not accurate in this video.
0:22
Did you suggest that Gary Johnson could have won? That's impossible.
"I'M NOT FINISHED YET ANDREA"
How is the Onion literally 2020?
If the election coverage on actual cable news was like this I might actually watch it!
This was one of the best Onion videos ever.
24 hours
Steve Kornacki: You gotta bump those numbers up those are some rookie numbers
Nov 3, 2020- Nov 7, 2020
The onion was awesome, I wish they still made stuff like this. Andrea I'm not finished
Wow this was a trip. I can tell you now from the future all of this happened and we're still trying to figure out how.
"dogs coup at the whitehouse. Dogs win"
That was weird. At the end of this video, I was actually waiting for them to pan over to Romney concession speech...then there was just a black screen. So sad and alone.
“A confused John McCain giving a concession speech “😂😂😂 I’d love to know what would even be included in that.
This is the greatest thing! I love how they brought in physics!
I feel like my mind just melted
0:50 why was that exchange so funny 😂
"Jason Copeland Has Been Awake For Seventy-Two Straight Hours"
LoL that was the best part
"Dancing outlawed" is also the plot of a very famous 1984 Kevin Bacon movie called Footloose that also spawned a remake in 2011.
“Gary Johnson wins”
Don’t give me hope.
I'm a person you don't know, and I approve this message.
Dancing outlawed. Soulful rebel captures nation's heart. Brings back dancing.
That should be a movie
"Dog Coup at the White House. Dogs Win."
I would absolutely love that
Good job onion, another classic video.
some metaphysics sprinkled into your election coverage!
razorfist: did i just hear JOHN FKIN MCCAIN!?
Andrea: Thank you so much, Jason *Copeland*
Yeah, probably.
Meanwhile, in the void between the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies, SG-1 is outsmarting an alternate SG-1.
Indeed
Wow, that was actually a non-biased/neutral answer.
I applaud you sir.
“Dog coup”
*Justin Roland takes a note
This is gold
"Let's consider for a moment that Democrats and Republicans unite, and vote in such a manner that would draw a penis on the electoral college map"
OH GOD THAT WOULD BE GLORIOUS
Best Multiverse Outcome, OTP Love Couple of Jason x Andrea. Gotts love that small buissness owning, South Dakotan lower-middle class apolitical bliss!
one of the best old onions lol
There was more than one debate...
Of course this is recommended now
Possibility #4 hits different in 2020
The "Dancing outlawed" thing was an actual plot in a rhythm game released on the Playstation 2 or 1. You danced to gain support to overthrow the evil dictator. This is why I love The Onion, obscure? Not likely on their website or in their videos. Or someone just threw something out there during brainstorming. Does not matter The Onion is great!
It’s also the plot of famous 80s movie Footloose
"Biden Wins" Well now we know why
The Onion has its prophetic moments
The weasel timeline, man
The WEEEEEEEEEEEEASELLLLL
“I’m not finished yet Andrea” “oh okay”
These were on time on the Onion's website
This aged really well.
I was convinced they'd say something about the erectoral college but they didn't. lol
0:58 I want to live in this universe
Comedic genius, from start to finish.
360p is the best ONN can do? are you fuc*ing kidding me?!
This is shockingly true
“I’m NOT finished yet Andrea”
Andrea: 😊
That's how we felt about SNL for a while. :)
Is.. is that John Oliver?
Her last line killed me
I'd live in the parallel universe where Gary Johnson won.
Instead, we're apparently supposed to get chips in our hands in march O_o
I guess standing in front of a map for 24 hours does have some pretty serious side effects
the onion cinematic universe with the babylon bee and florida man
there is no randomness, there are simply too many variables for the human mind to keep track of.
i wanted more on the alternate universe thing, that was too much!
“I’m not finished yet Andrea!” 💀
Jason/Andrea 2020
Meanwhile over on other Fringe universe
fuck I miss the onion skits, but at this point life is just an onion sketch.
0:19
Option 4
Lmao is that a proposal, that was hella smooth
I lol'd at "Gary Johnson wins".
best one yet
1:15 Wow, it's even possible that Lake Michigan could vote Republican?
I’ve talked to her, she seems like a centrist
1:22 Obama also took the first napkin
"Go either."
Get out.
Andrea: Who wins (when we're married)?
Jason: I win. You come a very close second.
I, of course, mean that in a romantic "I'm so lucky to have you way" not a "get your mind out of the gutter way".
HIS NAME IS COPELAND
ma boi droping mad hints on prime time tv
This video makes more sense than most political commentary.
This was 8 years ago, why the fuck is it in my recommended
Hey, I voted for Gary Johnson!
...that was his way of asking her out?
Wish they did: Well who wins in that scenario Jason? Well I think it's clear that you would Andrea. Awww, oh you!
And then we all begin to ship Jason and Andrea ;)
The videos are released later on youtube then on the Onion website
Yeah me too, it was all to way back to right now and later.
Seems like an awesome aim to me!
Sadly I don't think Gary Johnson would win in any of the 10^500 universes that may exist.
*I'M NOT FINISHED YET ANDREA*
Brilliant.