That's okay, but do you expect em to be the breadwinners or you? A spouse should support you according to what success fits you in a marriage. Women should not neglect their roles as mothers and wives, and if success interferes with that, she needs to question what's important, what is her purpose?
Crazy how you can go from the out of their league girl to the desperate girl in a year's time in a relationship. They start off worshipping you, get you hooked on their love and affection, then the subtle changes and negging begins. Now you're the one constantly reaching out trying to figure out what went wrong. When in reality he just wanted to knock you down a peg so the roles can reverse before you realize he's just not good enough for you. That's why it's so important to know your worth and know how valuable you truly are. Stay safe ladies!
Five rules: 1-Treat people how you wish to be treated. 2-Expectations lead to disappointments. 3-When love isn’t even, that’s lust. 4-True love is like fine wine, takes time to develop. 5-You always want,what you can’t have.. practice gratitude. Logic over emotion is the general rule of thumb, If you aren’t getting the results you want it’s generally because you’re following emotions.. thank Disney for that.
Thanks . I appreciate when a man shows what he learned from content created by a woman. Comments are much like a conversation. When someone seems like they didn’t listen to what you said, and just want to share what they think, they appear low in emotional intelligence. Like “Whoo-hoo let me show what I know 🤡” But when a man takes the time to absorb the ideas a woman presents, shows the ability to listen, engage on the topic at hand and her perspective, and then build on it - you’re looking at a real leader.
Absolutely! That's why it's so important for women to watch how they're treated. One thing I hear when exes see the man interact with his dream woman is "he never did that for me" "he never did that when we were together." _Watch_ _what_ _he_ _does_
@TheFeminineUniverse if he treats you like a work horse and roommate who is required to split bills with him and receive no consistent romance... you're unknowingly being used to build him up for his future dream wife once he's established and in a midlife crisis.
Oh. Why the dream girl gonna be attracted to this man, who once abused another women? I know, maybe it's a naive question, but isn't it make a man completely disgusting and unattractive?
I have a history of dating men who chased me for years crying and begging. I didn't like them at all, but I thought I was making a safe choice by giving a chance to a man who is clearly below my league, who will worship me and stay on his toes working hard to please me. But the moment I give them a chance, their worshipping behaviour gets replaced by controlling behaviour. 💀
@@bellah33Same. But I really don't know any other way of making sure that I only accept dates from guys who want me badly enough, who don't see me as a second choice.
Happened to me in Italy last month! As soon as we had 'seggs', he turned to me and asked me "Who's the boss?". I was stunned. But I responded "I am". He started an argument right then and there, trying to convince me that he had to be "in control". Needless to say, I told him where to shove his 'control' and dumped him. He started a smear campaign against m the next day! He totally ruined the impression I had about Italian men. Traumatic does not begin to describe how it felt. But I am proud of me, because I did not give him the emotional response he craved. I iced him completely and did not respond or react. Drove that demonic psychopath nuts! Trust your gut. And NEVER EVER lower your standards. You'll regret it.
The most valuable thing I learnt from my abusive relationship with my ex husband was too never give men with low self-esteem and a weak mindset a chance. You have one life, just don't bother wasting it on men like this. They have very deep rooted confidence issues that makes them become a narcissistic, fearful, doubtful, controlling and aggressive individual. Always observe carefully how they behave in stressful situations. A weak man will rely on you, make you fix the problem, blame you for inconveniences, get short tempered etc. A man with a strong mindset will think about solutions, be calm and rational, prioritise where and what to waste his energy on and think about your wellbeing. Also, observe the type of friendships/relationships (past and present) he has with those around him (parents, friends, colleagues). Their surroundings are very telling of the type of person they are. Either be with people who are at your level or are slightly above you. It can be very challenging if they are very below or very above your level.
Truth be told, I’ve been all of them, I’m every woman. But over time I learned to just sit back in my own life and energy and see who and what chooses ME.
It’s also not always about not seeing your value …. Is just the fact that whatever you have he doesn’t necessarily like and he is just keeping you around. Easy fix respect yourself enough to know he doesn’t love you and move on
The danger of The Dreamgirl is many horrible men will love bomb beautiful sensitive women only attempt to tear and break them down once they feel they have you. I think the ideal love has sincere acceptance, interest, respect, and prioritization.
They're afraid to love, because once people see the losers they are, they leave after awhile, so they want to be the one's to leave first to protect their heart, or keep themselves distanced. To both of you a favor and leave first. That's why they pre-plan temporary admirations, not relationships.
Omg, the point about the "free frozen yogurt sample" is so true! This is why some men act so offended/disgusted when their "free sample" girl asks them for anything - he only accepted her because she was free/low effort, so how dare she ask him to contribute something now? So important for women to know this stuff and to not chase men who treat them like a free sample lol!
As a DV/SA survivor I can attest to all this. Men will treat us as we were taught to be treated by our primary care givers, and according to our unresolved traumas. I remember giving chances to low value men out of pity and coercion and it was the biggest mistake, cuz people think that a “less” good looking guy will treat us better and is not true. They feel empowered cuz a high value woman gave them a chance so they become emboldened enough to feed their fragile egos and broken inner child with toxic power, and then they apply that power onto us as a form of revenge. NEVER devalue yourself or accept anyone below you out of pity or coercion. These pathological men will never treat anyone well and they will never change. They are entitled and dangerous!
I'm not even dating at the moment but this is the kind of content that will save women YEARS of wasted time and heartache! These breakdowns were exquisite. You really have a unique way of explaining things so they click. Had to share it my girls' group chat! Hope this message gets to every woman that needs it!
Thank you, darling! My goal is to save women a much headache, heartache and stress as possible! Cheers to you for sharing with your girls, sounds like you're a great friend 😘
I have noticed that even when men see someone as wifey material, this is not good necessarily. It can be because they found someone easy to handle and someone who can take care of them without asking too much.
I understand. Been there done that. When you are willing to go through every adversity and keep your respect - NO MATTER WHAT - then probably that would be your reality !! BTW .. me too in same boat.. Am stuck !! Wish had seen this kinda video before 😢
Never date down! I just realised I was the out of his league girl when every sentence was exactly a situation I was in. When you date down and he treats you as how it's described, it will diminish you to the desperate category. It feels horrible. Inscure men will always find a way to make you feel like the desperate girl and once you wake up you will realize you're not too needy and break up. It's genuinely refreshing.
People generally try to make you feel how you make them feel. If they feel insecure and like they are not good enough they'll try to make you feel insecure and not good enough, if they feel unworthy and like a failure they'll try and make you feel that way. It doesn't matter that you don't do anything to make them feel that way, is how they feel, not your fault, not your problem, RUN from that person, because eventually, maybe after they willing or unwillingly take you apart, they themselves will be the ones leaving.
Yess!! As I watched the video, I realized that's exactly what happened to me too. I went from the out of his league girl to the desperate girl because he was trying to break me due to his own jealousy and resentment
@@winterbutterfly8861 100&. I had this experience and I've always felt like I'm the problem, when I actually think about what REALLY is the problem, I couldnt figure it out.
@@winterbutterfly8861lol stop. If you feel like nothing- literally nothing will change that until the person changes. Just like there are people you can’t make feel bad because they’re complete with themselves. I can’t not make you something you never were 😂 and vise versa
I met a solid meh, I was way out of his league, he kept asking what I saw in him. Long story short, I felt sad and tried to lift his self confidence and I also fell in love because of his humbleness. He ended up feeling like he's better than me and left me for his ex who treated him like a dog during their marriage. Lesson learned, don't ever downgrade and try to save anyone.
I must confess this is the BEST video that explains in detail about women. Once, I was the desperate girl; Not because of wanting to buy love. It's because I have a big heart and I was being good to a man who didn’t appreciate it. I learned a damn good lesson from this! Understand the difference between PURPOSE and PLEASURE. What is the purpose of your connection. Did you both agree to commitment, marriage, and spending a lifetime together. If it's pleasure then it's nothing serious and the door of your life is still open to some day meeting your soul mate. I will say this: When a woman is desperate. You will definitely attract the players, whore mongers, broken men, and narcissist. They loooove these type of women because they are perpetual users. Remember to protect your mental health at all cost and let peace and happiness be your priority. God bless🙂
Wise words! Sometimes big hearted people don't get the appreciation they deserve. There is such a thing as overgiving, especially when you start losing yourself.
Wow well said. And yes often just because u have a good heart and are a generous and loving person it can come across to the wrong guys that you are desperate. We have to gaurd out hearts as women there are wolves out there waiting to take advantage of such women.
Girl you should had posted this 10 years ago so that I seriously would not had wasted my time buying gifts for the motherf***. Thanks for the video. God bless you 🙏🏾
Gurrrrrl!!!!!! Preach 🙌 I’m gonna homemake all my gifts from here on out for these men. Grab some crayons and colored paper. That’s all they get from here on out. They don’t deserve anything more from what I’ve seen.
I have so many instances where the guy probably categorize me as the dream girl/out of his league girl, but things flip after initial dating and then they become hostile, irritable, and condescending. If a man couldn't work out their own issues, they will eventually sabotage any relationship.
This happens to me extremely frequently. I used to think I was doing something wrong. But when I started naming the inconsistencies in behavior very quickly (like, two or three dates in) made it clear that I was too serious about my career to give time to it, and actually left/court contact, I’ve found they actually admit this. I don’t acknowledge it or restart the conversations, but I’ve had this admitted to me.
Similarly, I just saw a clip from Iyanla that said she gave up on trying to teach a man how to love her. She chose to no longer participate in the way he loved her and broke up after 14 years. Waiting on people to change or align to you is the same as wanting to change them. That message spoke volumes to me.
I’ve always been the “good enough girl”. I’m gonna be the “dream girl” for now on. I am the apple of my ABBA’s eye. The head and not the tail. Clothed with strength and dignity, laughs without fear of the future. 💫 A “QUEEN”. 👑
It is with a very heavy heart that I say my husband of 33yrs passed away on Nov 6th from heart failure, just days after my 59th birthday on Nov 3rd. Our family is heartbroken and devastated! I know he loved me more than anything in this world but to hear that from family and friends, I am forever grateful and thankful to the Lord for sending me a man who loved and treated me like I deserved to be loved and treated. My soulmate and love of my life has been called home to be with our Heavenly Father. Until we meet again, Rest in Peace 🙏. I love you Jeff ❤
I was the "out of their league" girl. But not only in intellectual capacity and looks, but also in emotional intelligence. Because I eloquently called them out on their harmful behavior (their demanding nature in constantly telling me to submit and their lack of attentiveness/ inability to give me the quality time I desired when we were on dates) they decided to triangulate and emotionally cheat on me with someone more in his league (his junior in school). The other woman isn't "better than you," she is just a "better fit" for him. After months of stonewalling and gaslighting, he finally admitted I deserved way better than him.
This was my situation with my ex too. And he got married with the other woman who he cheated on me with in less than a year. But little does she know, she saved me from being tied to a narcissist
@@CoffeeCrashedMal it could look like negging or 1 upping you. I experienced that last one, anything I got myself he would get (more) for himself (I would buy a pack of trading cards, he would buy a pack/ bundle)
My ex always said “a lot of men want you but you’ll probably never get married.” He married the girl after me but now says he made a mistake…has a whole wife and kids. Men are immature and often jealous. They wanna bring you down a peg. The girl that he said that too and who I am now are the same person….it’s crazy.
Maybe he's lying just so he gets freebies. Maybe he's having temporary marital problems and needs a shoulder from an easy girl. You were never his first choice, so don't be fooled by words and become a mistress
When it comes to men and them labelling a woman a “good time girl” it’s important to keep in mind how the Madonna-Whore Complex comes into play…a lot of women are not giving sexual access or behaving like a good time girl but because of their physical beauty or natural body type they are categorised as such and boldly approached with that assumption which can be disheartening. I think that nuance should be tactfully unpacked in your next detailed video
You're so right. I know many women including myself that were mistakenly put into 'good time girl' category just because we dressed feminine, made the most of our appearance and are naturally smiley and friendly. It's quite frustrating but I guess we have to weed out the men that don't see our true worth and value and date well until we meet the man on the same wavelength and vibration.
It kinda depends here, because most good-looking women don't show off their looks. Most of them don't know that they are so beautiful, and as a result many of them never discovered that aspect of themselves. The few women who did discover this do have to be careful about how they show off, because there's a difference between dressing and behaving well and being ratchet. And I don't mean behaving well as a doormat, but as a woman who is tactfully clever socially speaking.
The out of their league woman makes me think of Marilyn Monroe. Almost every man she was with mistreated her in some way, chated etc because of their own low self esteem. They didn't feel worthy of her and/or enevied and hated her success so they tried to bring her down. I think 'dream girl' is the best outcome. We need some balance.
Wrong about the 1st part of the "out of his league" woman... That's not a happily ever after situation if the guy worships you and basically becomes the "desperate" man for you. What will.happen is that you will lose respect for that man and end up leaving him or forcing him away
I was the out of league girl due to being the breadwinner and a difference in height and looks. Many people questioned it, even heard it from strangers. The negative effects explained here were very accurate. It’s a very traumatizing experience and there has been a long journey of rebuilding self confidence. People may guilt you about wanting to date on your level, but don’t listen to this as they just want you to grant access to everyone. Women have so much to lose when they are not careful about who they commit to.
I've been all of these at some point, but when I was in a relationship with a guy who thought I was out of his league it was terrible. He actually got abusive. They know deep down that you're not attracted to them and it will come out some way.
Smh, Ive been put in every one of these category. But now I'm finally in the "dream girl" category. I think even if you are in this category, keep in mind that you can be moved from it by men at any point. So invest in yourselves 1st, always, ladies. ❤
This video is SPOT ON! Also please know that "out of his league" is not just want she listed but also having healthy and high self esteem. It's definitely not just looks and education because I have seen beautiful smart women in full desperado mode. Stay feminine ladies
TRUE. KhloeK richer, more famous, is more educated & has a better family than Tristan. But, she has esteem issues; so she became the desperado, not the outta-league
You're right. Out of his league can quickly turn into desperado when she's caught feelings and his insecurities have come out. It's so important to prioritise your own self-fulfilment
It’s great that at the beginning you let very clear that there’s some broken men and they are exceptions, because they will never treat anyone fine, no matter what type of women you are. Others don’t make this distinction and some women are out there blaming themselves for not being able to change an abusive man into a good one.
This made me sad. 3 kids into my marriage and I can relate to the “out of your league girl dynamic gone wrong” way way too much. The worst part is that I’m not even actually out of his league. He just has way too much trauma and it’s effecting his view of himself
I’m going to be praying for you. I can totally relate. But, thankfully, mine eventually asked for a divorce, was shocked that I didn’t beg him to stay , and I’ve moved on.
✨️Please don't forget the 6th group. The woman who is authentic, loves life, treats herself well, and finds peace from deep within. She nurtures genuine friendships which over time blossom into amazing relationships. 💫
I was a bugatti girl in my last relationship. He started out spoiling me and going out of his way to prove he could make me happy. He proposed 2 months down the line, I of course said it was too soon. The relationship crumbled in a year, he felt constantly insecure and worried that he couldn't provide for my lifestyle, and eventually couldn't get it up. I found out he was talking to another girl who was more in his league and eating out of his palm so I ended it. He still reaches out from time to time.
It's just hard to find the right mam, he may treat u great in the beginning but once he's with you for awhile he gets too comfortable and behaves in any way he feels . Respect goes out the window .
I’ve been an out of my league girlfriend in majority of my relationships and I completely understand now why they were always jealous and envious. This was a amazing description thank you ❤
this is the most nuanced video about men i've ever seen. really made me think about how men in my past treated me. i've had so many men who i chased and told me that they didn't see me in a romantic way at first. they liked the initiative i had because they didn't have any game, so they felt like they could give me the bare minimum. this totally explains why they treated me that way.
I think a perfect example of the Out Of Your League Girl is Astrid from Crazy Rich Asians. Look at the car ride scene where she confronts him about cheating and the scene where she tells him she’s leaving to live on her own. Also the fact that she hid her purchases to make him not feel bad about not being able to afford them all while she could.
Yeesss! the fact that out of your league girls get triangulated and cheated on because their partner simply thinks his woman is too good for him and he needs validation from an external source!
Being the out of their league girl is tough, but I came to conclusion that somewhere out there has to be a guy who matches my energy and that toning myself down to fit someone’s life will bring me nothing but misery. And it’s not like there is something to tone down, this is the best version of myself, anything else would be dishonest and deceitful.
I want to see a 'Raise Your Price' video. This one is really good. I also want one on a good guy you're not attracted to who is attracted to you and is treating you well.
I think it’s fair that he gets the same feelings and affection that you get from him back from you. Don’t ruin someone else’s life. You’ll feel terrible later ❤
Real 😅 im genuinely tired. I'll just take to be treated in a way i enjoy it 😅 if i were to be treated like a dog but i enjoy it, then so be it. If i be treated as a prize but i enjoy it, then so be it. If i were to be treated as a princess but i don't enjoy it, no matter how good it sounds to people, i won't do it 😅 simple
Please don’t delete this I’m going to share this with my niece in a few years; I’m learning but I refuse to let another woman in my family not understand the dating. Thnx
I appreciate that you say "how you're viewed " and not saying its "who you are" I definitely don't consider myself a desperate person, but I can see how I was potentially "viewed " in that manner in my last relationship. I was miserable. I dont think he believed I would've actually broke up with him, but when I did he was very taken back. And now, he misses me and wants me back. But hes not what I want. I feel like I'm a lenient person in all of my relationships (both romantic and platonic friendships) and everybody seems to believe I'll never leave until I actually do. I understand we are human and may feel stressed and make certain mistakes but when you consistently keep mistreating me I cut and run.
I was all of these at some point. I am both feminine and masculine. Yes, I am low maintenance but he always does things for me without me asking. Even little surprises. I truly believe it depends on the man and the woman. You can’t put everyone in the same category. Even in marriage I stopped relying on changing someone or myself and put my effort into prayer reading and getting to know the Lord. This caused a change in myself and my husband. I didn’t do self love self care of myself. I did self love self care in God and he brought that light out. Some don’t believe in Jesus but this is for the ones who do. Put God first keep your eye on him and everything else will fall into place. This was a great video ❤
I just realized I am a "out of your league" girl, and I feel flattered about that since I spend a lot of time taking care of myself, trying to look good and have new academic achievements, but at the same time I am kind of sad that I loose the person I liked because he couldn't keep up with me. I just wish someday I meet someone who treats and view me as his dream girl.
True story, in college there was a guy whose eyes "twinkled" when he saw me. Even my girlfriend said to me, "he likes you." After that he was so nasty and hostile toward me it was unbelievable, I never understood it until now. Also, I have seen guys who were OBVIOUSLY interested in a friend take no action and wondered why won't he make a move? They have told themselves that they can't win. And it is vital that a man feels he can win with the woman he wants to be with. Truth has a resonance to it, doesn't it? And this is some of the best content on relationships I have ever heard. Keep up the phenomenal work!
This is so informative. Listening to this made me realize I had a few men from my past who tried to put me in the “good time girl” “just good enough” category. Just thinking about their behavior makes me upset. What’s even worse is those same men couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to be bothered when I walked away. I’m married now, but when when my husband & he I were dating he couldn’t understand why those men treated me the way they did. I am fine now, but wow this just opened up my eyes.
Then start now become who you want to be, value yourself and expect respect from others as you give respect! You give power to your thoughts and actions so first practice self care and then give to the guy if his behavior & mentality towards you deserves it. Quid Pro Quo.
I’m 22. I grew up with a masculine energy mother. I would be the kind of girl who help a man to built his carrier, do everything for him as my mom did (my dad is still broke while my mother is successful) But thanks God you change my view in relationships. I only would accept dream woman ( for my long term partner) or out of League treatment from man in daily basis. I’m going to built myself to because this feminine energy woman. Because there is now way I’m going to accept low bare minimum effort as my mom received from my dad. Without videos like that, I would have a bad marriage for sure. So Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I was out of his league, but he used to worship the ground I walked on so we got married. Even though in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t right. 10years later & two kids.. the marriage went sour. These categories are important to recognize earlier on and as women we really need to stop fooling ourselves & be patient for what we want. Learning this lesson now in my 30s.
I been supposedly engaged with this cheating lying confused narcissist who attacked me. I dealt with it for 8 years and finally free. In my 30's now. We did had a child together. Well, I did date someone 2 years ago and he seemed aite. But, he messed around to much and I was the dream/ out of your lead girl. We lived together and had 2 beautiful kids also with my other wonderful child. He was messed up in the head and was very insecure about himself. I admitted I had some skeletons in my closet from my first one who kept harassing me and my children. I went to court for that. And moved up. I told him about it and he didn't even try to protect us and fooled around with this side chick friend of his. He was a fool. I try to make things work but, between also, his evil mother and mines didn't want us together.
I was an out of my league girl and it was honestly so crushing. No matter how much I reassured him that I loved him, he’d constantly compare our accomplishments, looks, upbringing, etc. (why would a girl like you be interested in me anyways?) Eventually he started picking small dumb fights over practically nothing and then broke it off. He ended it by saying that he never loved me and I never truly loved him anyways so it’s best to just end it and be friends. Honestly it still hurts so much and I miss him.
Yeah, I was once with a guy who seemed to adore me and who constantly told me I looked like Shakira (I disagreed). I soon realised it was all lust-driven (the late-night texts about him jerking off at the thought of me were the final straw) and I broke up with him. He was very bitter and vindictive about it and even went as far to berate work of mine that he had previously feigned interest in. He was just trying to get into my pants from day one (and he failed - I'm not that easy). 🙂 He was immature and had unresolved parental issues (alcoholic, angry father and overly mollycoddling mother).
This is what’s happening to me and I too still love him. But not this version of him. It’s excruciating because after 8 years I think he’s actually either ghosting me or trying to turn me into bootie call. It should be easy to walk away but it’s so confusing that it’s not. I hope you’re feeling better ♥️
I come from a family of females who never proved themselves to men ever. These men would always go above and beyond for all of them. Several of them had homes given to them along with the title and deed. And I know from listening to conversations back then aunts and cousins kept their legs closed for a long time. You do not need to open the cupboard and hand out free cookies. My grandmother used to tell us all that when a man loves a woman more than she does him, he will give her justice and equality. She also said when a man leaves the home, he has potential to be anyone else's man. Not sure what happened to many females today. They seem desperate for a man.
Omg. I’m an “out of league” woman. I have a trail of relationships that have gone from adoration to resentment in a short timeframe. I’m an artist who has risen to high levels of prominence, expertise, and pay, but I still feel the extremely difficult years of poverty and struggle and suffering. I tell men I dare about my journey, but I see now that they might pretend to listen but they actually only see what’s in front of them (I’ve heard comments about me to that effect during breakups). I think these men see me in a way that I don’t even see myself, and usually they are correct-in a couple months or a year I’ve gained another extraordinary opportunity. I’ve stopped dating as I focus solely on my career in the hopes of doing some international humanitarian collaborations. I’ll have to think about this much more when I date again.
This is me - accused of being a workaholic or they worship at first and then all of a sudden “the relationship has run its course”. I’m with you. The artist life is tough.
Holy moly, this was so illuminating! Especially the distinctions between being a dream girl and an out of their league girl. And I realize it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. It only matters how they feel about it.
Precisely. At the end of the day, knowing yourself, what you like, what you dont like, what you are willing to accept and strive for, knowing your value and goals and knowing what you want in a partner is what we should be focused in. Not being “his dream girl” or not being the other types. Bc that is regarding their perception, and you cannot change someone’s wants and needs the same way no man will be able to change those specific things about you. So if you know yourself and what you are looking for and is also able to spot how a specific man views you, that will 100% make dating a little less confusing. Go for someone who you want but also wants you back.
Thank you, this has really helped me as im going to leave someone and improve myself worth. Its needed and has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Sending you love and many blessings ❤
I love how universal you have made this. I have been all 5 categories at different periods of my life, with a range of different men. And let me assure you, it is much easier to pick the wrong guy than it is to wait for the right one. But there is always a heavy price to pay on the end of that decision... Anyways. Thank you for this 🙏 hopeful we as women will start to come together and support each other more! That would also help open our options up as a society ❤💋 keep sowin' them dreams, girl! 👏
I'm the dream girl for my current partner, and it's beautiful. All the work we've both done on ourselves to be that for one another. 🙌🙌 before I was the good enough girl but I leveled up significantly (Mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually).
Sooo true finally met a man who just DOES and I don’t have to ask! Who’s also emotionally available, mature , good at communicating i can tell not only by his actions and words he wants me. I haven’t even had to do much for this treatment. But you are right to where your appreciated when not tolerated.
Girl this video is amazing. I seriously want to show it to every single one of my female friends because I believe everyone needs to see this. I know a girl in every single category she mentioned and I am blessed to say I am my husband’s dream girl. Sending this to every woman in my life because it’s important i hope they don’t get offended over anything but this was beautifully explained and expressed with no bias no hate no preferences… wow. Thoroughly Impressed !!!
Sounds like you're a great friend that wants her girls to be informed and protected. So happy for you and your husband! May you two be blessed with abundant love, wisdom and prosperity 💕
I used to have a friend in college that played the desperate woman trope to a tee. Crazy thing is she was not only smart and kind but drop dead gorgeous as well. She later modeled with the Ebony Fashion Fair Shows. Lost touch with her but I pray she found her worth♥️.
This video is so helpful! I wish I knew this back in my 20s. It's true, men view women and put them in categories. I realized that all you can do is move forward when they show you that they don't value you or want to treat you right. This video really helped me realize, how to avoid being the "Good Time girl" or desperate girl. Men use up women in those categories. I wish I knew then what I knew now. I also believe alot of men marry the "Good Enough Girl", that's why the divorce rates are so high. The "Good Enough Girl" gets mediocre or basic treatment A raise your price video would help
1:30 Intro: Why it Matters 1:49 The 2 Category Model 2:05 The 3 Category Model 2:40 The 5 Category Model 3:16 Non Category- Can’t treat anyone well. Abusive- broken beyond repair *The 5 Categories* 6:10 The Desperate Girl 9:18 The Good Time Girl 12:09 The Good Enough Girl 15:55 Dream Girl 19:09 The Out of Your League Girl
I do not usually write comments like that but someone who is willing to put labels and loves categorization is usually NOT worth your time at all... Accept someone for who they are, some improvements are always possible but ranking and putting labels is a huge turn off.... We people do not fit in boxes !
Thank you so much! The thumbnail drew me in but it disappears when the video starts and he didn't pit the categories in the description 🙁 Me being me and not having seen this channel before I needed to see the categories to see if I want to invest time in watching. Thanks again.
Wasn’t expecting much when I clicked(bcus the net is trash)but may I say you were so right in everything you said and I know it because I observed these same situations and types of women…I’m the friend everyone calls for advice,but when you try to tell them the truth they’re so in denial they don’t want to see it😢
Oh this hurts! I went from the good time girl to good enough girl and i feel m turning into a desperate girl!! I need to get a hold of myself before its too late. Thankyou so much for this video 💗
I think I was a good-enough girl with my ex. I was dismissed by friends/fam when I complained, because "He doesn't mistreat you. Why are you complaining?"
But what do we do about this? I’m seriously struggling right now and ready to leave. At the same time though he has always treated me well. He’s an amazing guy, but has no ambition and no thoughtfulness in our relationship.
@@itzwhooshie2217leave. I was a good enough girl for 13yrs. We have one kid. He treated me well but had no intentions of getting married. After all those years he still wasn't ready for marriage😪 I'm single now, starting over from scratch.
Absolutely love this ! Thank you so much for such a good explanation, you have just helped me resolve and break through the problems that confusing situations left me with. I wish I’d had you around as a friend at the times I was shell shocked by the confusion of bad experiences that I just couldn’t understand. Thank you so much for your time and knowledge, you are saving women from the heartbreak or even dangerous situations that are hard to see coming. X
RAISE YOUR PRICE! This is soo timely as Ive always thought of myself as the dream gurl but, may have been perceived as the good enough girl due to confidence issues (somewhat geeky). I use to think something was wong with me because guys didn't approach me like my sister. Now I realize what I think subconsciously is telling others how to treat me
Hello darling. I'm married to a man who adores me but is not a natural romantic and this type of analytical deep thinking and highly moral man is rarely romantic. We recently attended a marriage course at a local church (we are not believers) and it HELPED so very much. The course is structured to help couples find the way into sharing each others needs and finding solutions. HIGHLY recommended if you feel that your marriage is not what you hoped. 🙏🙏🙏
Hi. I am just curious. Do you happen to know your husband's personality type (Myers-Briggs)? Sounds like my husband when you said "analytical deep thinking and highly moral man". :) Thanks in advance.
As a man I would say this is probably 90%+ accurate. Also one thing I'd like to mention is the women having a degree thing is simply not even a thing, most of us don't care. Maybe 1 out of 1000 men think that's something to be intimidated by but honestly we do not see women as our competition so it just don't matter.
I’m pursuing a PhD (in grad school now) and always wondered if that will actually be a turnoff rather than out of their league. Anyway, I will say that a man may not view me as out of his league for that, but a woman will view a man with much less education as below her league. I hate that I feel that way but it’s true. Attraction is not a choice unfortunately. And so that significantly lowers my dating pool.
Wow! You described the issues I had in my marriage (now divorced). I was his dream girl, but my family and I didn't have the struggles he had. I saw us as one, so what I have, you have. Also, we can grow together and build our family. He ended up competing with me, starting arguments out of nowhere, neglecting my needs, and just was absent. It was heartbreaking, because I really did love him and wanted the best for us... Not me....us!
My 1st time I was desperate, My 2nd time I was good time, My 3rd time is out of your league. No one gonna have my precious time and presence just like that.
STELLAR content. Thank you for breaking this psychology down into such splendid detail! I also LOVE the inclusiveness of the visuals. Looking forward to more! 😍
If you wanna know what the life of an Out of League girl is, watch Crazy Rich Asians. That is Astrid asf. Bro even cheats so he can feel like he's worth something. You'll see a lot of these tropes in that movie
I wish i had a friend like you! You answered alot . My mom died when I was 23 and I dont have any sisters or close friends. I wish i knew this years ago. Im stuck in the Good Enough Girl catagory.....I gotta get out! Thank you ❤
That's the First mistake. Stay in and educate yourself. Try out things that make you a better person for You. Doing it the other way will attract the kind who you don't want. Stay home and preserve yourself.
I’ve watched a ton of videos on this aubject and this is honestly one of the best ones I’ve seen. You break these highly complex concepts so clearly into categories and examples that we can understand. I used to not want to have requirements because I didn’t want to seem high maintenance, now I know they show my worth. This video was so informative; thank you!
Im definitely the Good Enough Girl. Didnt even get anything for my birthday from him. But he calls, he reaches out all the time, when he isnt busy. He has never done anything to directly hurt me, he visits when he can. But hey no gifts, no surprises, no nothing like that... Why 😭
It might be that surprises and giving gifts are not his way of showing love, and he shows it in other ways. Look up the different types of love language. Also, sometimes guys just need to hear from you what you actually want, if you can present it in a positive way.
you’ve COMPLETELY clarified my last two relationships for me. i’ve been the out of league girl - ALL because I didn’t choose a man who was at my standard! These men didn’t like me by the end of our relationship, they’d pick arguments, etc. But the beginning was so great! This shows I as the woman must pick a “man within my ranks” to not make either of us a disservice!!
RAISE YOUR PRICE VIDEO IS UP NOW!! ruclips.net/video/TyG-FiLJb58/видео.html
More video on the dream girl. How do they behave
yeah no, anyone who can resent someone they supposedly adore never had good intention.
If you aren't the one for him, he simply isn't the one for you. We don't use force, we move forward. Period.
Well said.
Yes mam
Thisssss❤
Exactly this! So many women try to convince a man of their worth instead of choosing to move on to a man who values them, no convincing required.
Yall make it seem so simple not to sound* rude but what if ya married already then what it’s not always that simple
You don't want a man who gets jealous and envious over your success and fame. You want a man who gets happy and proud over your success.
I’ve had a male friend that was like this yikes
And/or support you towards your success ❤
This is true and hard to find.
Are you heterologous
That's okay, but do you expect em to be the breadwinners or you? A spouse should support you according to what success fits you in a marriage. Women should not neglect their roles as mothers and wives, and if success interferes with that, she needs to question what's important, what is her purpose?
Crazy how you can go from the out of their league girl to the desperate girl in a year's time in a relationship. They start off worshipping you, get you hooked on their love and affection, then the subtle changes and negging begins. Now you're the one constantly reaching out trying to figure out what went wrong. When in reality he just wanted to knock you down a peg so the roles can reverse before you realize he's just not good enough for you. That's why it's so important to know your worth and know how valuable you truly are. Stay safe ladies!
This was my story two years ago. God 😢😢😢😢
My current relationship.
Left this relationship last week. Best decision I've ever made
Has happened to me too...
So....like love bombing?
Five rules:
1-Treat people how you wish to be treated.
2-Expectations lead to disappointments.
3-When love isn’t even, that’s lust.
4-True love is like fine wine, takes time to develop.
5-You always want,what you can’t have.. practice gratitude.
Logic over emotion is the general rule of thumb,
If you aren’t getting the results you want it’s generally because you’re following emotions.. thank Disney for that.
Thanks . I appreciate when a man shows what he learned from content created by a woman. Comments are much like a conversation. When someone seems like they didn’t listen to what you said, and just want to share what they think, they appear low in emotional intelligence. Like “Whoo-hoo let me show what I know 🤡” But when a man takes the time to absorb the ideas a woman presents, shows the ability to listen, engage on the topic at hand and her perspective, and then build on it - you’re looking at a real leader.
words to live by
Wow this was an excellent comment. Thank you
I AGREE VERY LOGICAL COMMENT A LOT OF US NEED TO HEAR . I HAVE TO POST THIS ALL OVER SORRY 😊
@@shannonm3021 Yes! I appreciate that he really listened to the video and got so much from it.
A lot of men settle for the "good enough girl" as their starter wife until they can afford their "dream girl" as their dream wife.
Absolutely! That's why it's so important for women to watch how they're treated. One thing I hear when exes see the man interact with his dream woman is "he never did that for me" "he never did that when we were together." _Watch_ _what_ _he_ _does_
@TheFeminineUniverse if he treats you like a work horse and roommate who is required to split bills with him and receive no consistent romance... you're unknowingly being used to build him up for his future dream wife once he's established and in a midlife crisis.
This is very very true. Lots of exes settle with very basic girls
Oh. Why the dream girl gonna be attracted to this man, who once abused another women? I know, maybe it's a naive question, but isn't it make a man completely disgusting and unattractive?
@@NewBlooomNot naive. The women never see the guy as bad till he exposes that stressful situation
I have a history of dating men who chased me for years crying and begging. I didn't like them at all, but I thought I was making a safe choice by giving a chance to a man who is clearly below my league, who will worship me and stay on his toes working hard to please me. But the moment I give them a chance, their worshipping behaviour gets replaced by controlling behaviour. 💀
you and me both. Mine turned out a sociopath narcissist and used every chance to try and crush my self esteem and sense of worth
Relatable
Did this and I’ll never EVER do it again. Those types of men are ugly inside and out. Not worth the trade off.
@@bellah33Same. But I really don't know any other way of making sure that I only accept dates from guys who want me badly enough, who don't see me as a second choice.
Happened to me in Italy last month! As soon as we had 'seggs', he turned to me and asked me "Who's the boss?". I was stunned. But I responded "I am". He started an argument right then and there, trying to convince me that he had to be "in control". Needless to say, I told him where to shove his 'control' and dumped him. He started a smear campaign against m the next day! He totally ruined the impression I had about Italian men. Traumatic does not begin to describe how it felt. But I am proud of me, because I did not give him the emotional response he craved. I iced him completely and did not respond or react. Drove that demonic psychopath nuts! Trust your gut. And NEVER EVER lower your standards. You'll regret it.
The most valuable thing I learnt from my abusive relationship with my ex husband was too never give men with low self-esteem and a weak mindset a chance. You have one life, just don't bother wasting it on men like this. They have very deep rooted confidence issues that makes them become a narcissistic, fearful, doubtful, controlling and aggressive individual. Always observe carefully how they behave in stressful situations. A weak man will rely on you, make you fix the problem, blame you for inconveniences, get short tempered etc. A man with a strong mindset will think about solutions, be calm and rational, prioritise where and what to waste his energy on and think about your wellbeing. Also, observe the type of friendships/relationships (past and present) he has with those around him (parents, friends, colleagues). Their surroundings are very telling of the type of person they are. Either be with people who are at your level or are slightly above you. It can be very challenging if they are very below or very above your level.
I was in an relationship like that, I finally found my way out and I am healing.
Epic insight.
@@akilahmorris6154the same, and he wants me now back after 5 jears
Truth be told, I’ve been all of them, I’m every woman. But over time I learned to just sit back in my own life and energy and see who and what chooses ME.
Yeap thats all about! Backup......enjoy the ride.... let good things come to way
@@lourivalchavezbatista5344I agree
Life....time....wisdom.
❤❤❤❤ periodt!!
Yes, stay in your feminine energy of attracting and receiving
If he doesn't see your worth, let go and another man will. And just because he doesn't see your worth, it doesn't lower your value.
But if nobody sees you "worth"
Maybe they're not the problem
What if you dont have any real worth
@@EchadLevShtim true 💯
@@EchadLevShtim Then stay single and work on yourself. Still not a reason to be with someone who sees you as a second class human being.
It’s also not always about not seeing your value …. Is just the fact that whatever you have he doesn’t necessarily like and he is just keeping you around. Easy fix respect yourself enough to know he doesn’t love you and move on
The danger of The Dreamgirl is many horrible men will love bomb beautiful sensitive women only attempt to tear and break them down once they feel they have you. I think the ideal love has sincere acceptance, interest, respect, and prioritization.
Outta-leagues are the ones getting love-bombed & psychologically abused
Read the Five Components Of Love by Princella The Queenmaker
I’ve been subject to this a few times
They're afraid to love, because once people see the losers they are, they leave after awhile, so they want to be the one's to leave first to protect their heart, or keep themselves distanced. To both of you a favor and leave first. That's why they pre-plan temporary admirations, not relationships.
Lord I went from dream girl to desperate girl after that idiot finished with my head. He left. Guess whose the dream girl again 😅😅😅
Omg, the point about the "free frozen yogurt sample" is so true! This is why some men act so offended/disgusted when their "free sample" girl asks them for anything - he only accepted her because she was free/low effort, so how dare she ask him to contribute something now? So important for women to know this stuff and to not chase men who treat them like a free sample lol!
As a DV/SA survivor I can attest to all this. Men will treat us as we were taught to be treated by our primary care givers, and according to our unresolved traumas.
I remember giving chances to low value men out of pity and coercion and it was the biggest mistake, cuz people think that a “less” good looking guy will treat us better and is not true. They feel empowered cuz a high value woman gave them a chance so they become emboldened enough to feed their fragile egos and broken inner child with toxic power, and then they apply that power onto us as a form of revenge. NEVER devalue yourself or accept anyone below you out of pity or coercion. These pathological men will never treat anyone well and they will never change. They are entitled and dangerous!
Yes yes yes.
I gave a good guy, nerd a chance, and he really tried me.
@@user-br3eo6xs8v
I hear ya! I’m glad you cut him off!
Remember ladies another man good times girl, good enough girl, desperate girl, out of my league girl is another man dream girl
Yes, go where you are loved, valued and respected.
Okay! 👏🏽
agree.....
Yuppppp
Yep, your soul mate will see you as the prize!! Never forget!!
I'm not even dating at the moment but this is the kind of content that will save women YEARS of wasted time and heartache! These breakdowns were exquisite. You really have a unique way of explaining things so they click. Had to share it my girls' group chat! Hope this message gets to every woman that needs it!
Thank you, darling! My goal is to save women a much headache, heartache and stress as possible! Cheers to you for sharing with your girls, sounds like you're a great friend 😘
Me too ! I definitely shared
Yes I was thinkingthe same, I just discovered her and immediately subscribed cause this information & her delivery is everything 🙌🏾 ❤
I have noticed that even when men see someone as wifey material, this is not good necessarily. It can be because they found someone easy to handle and someone who can take care of them without asking too much.
That makes you the good enough girl
@@ErikaJenkins1973 Not necessarily,
there's a middle category
Nope thats exactly what a good enough girl is... low maintenance. watch the video again. @@SassyyjuicyMaria
Exactly
@@SassyyjuicyMaria
Two things can be right at the same time
I’ve never been anyone’s dream girl. I hope I can experience that fully one day.
Your genuineness is refreshing. Almost everyone else here is claiming to be an out of his league girl. 😅
Much feel good
I understand. Been there done that.
When you are willing to go through every adversity and keep your respect - NO MATTER WHAT - then probably that would be your reality !!
BTW .. me too in same boat.. Am stuck !!
Wish had seen this kinda video before 😢
Start being your own dream girl, the results will come very, very fast.
It’s all about how they perceive you. I distance myself before they see the wretched creature I actually am
Never date down! I just realised I was the out of his league girl when every sentence was exactly a situation I was in. When you date down and he treats you as how it's described, it will diminish you to the desperate category. It feels horrible. Inscure men will always find a way to make you feel like the desperate girl and once you wake up you will realize you're not too needy and break up. It's genuinely refreshing.
Agreeee she described it to the T
People generally try to make you feel how you make them feel. If they feel insecure and like they are not good enough they'll try to make you feel insecure and not good enough, if they feel unworthy and like a failure they'll try and make you feel that way. It doesn't matter that you don't do anything to make them feel that way, is how they feel, not your fault, not your problem, RUN from that person, because eventually, maybe after they willing or unwillingly take you apart, they themselves will be the ones leaving.
Yess!! As I watched the video, I realized that's exactly what happened to me too. I went from the out of his league girl to the desperate girl because he was trying to break me due to his own jealousy and resentment
@@winterbutterfly8861 100&. I had this experience and I've always felt like I'm the problem, when I actually think about what REALLY is the problem, I couldnt figure it out.
@@winterbutterfly8861lol stop. If you feel like nothing- literally nothing will change that until the person changes. Just like there are people you can’t make feel bad because they’re complete with themselves. I can’t not make you something you never were 😂 and vise versa
Raise your priceee!!! He who finds a wife finds a GOOD thing periodtt
And her price is far above. Rubies smooches 💋
@@chels5614 You know righttt
@@Rozallthingsfeminine Tell them!
AND obtains favor from the Lord! Amen church 👏🏾
Raise your price! Thank you, as always, for your great videos.
I met a solid meh, I was way out of his league, he kept asking what I saw in him. Long story short, I felt sad and tried to lift his self confidence and I also fell in love because of his humbleness. He ended up feeling like he's better than me and left me for his ex who treated him like a dog during their marriage. Lesson learned, don't ever downgrade and try to save anyone.
no the lesson is this.....Treat a man like a dog and he will love the ground you walk on...ironic as it seems...it TRUE
So true!
I must confess this is the BEST video that explains in detail about women. Once, I was the desperate girl; Not because of wanting to buy love. It's because I have a big heart and I was being good to a man who didn’t appreciate it. I learned a damn good lesson from this! Understand the difference between PURPOSE and PLEASURE. What is the purpose of your connection. Did you both agree to commitment, marriage, and spending a lifetime together. If it's pleasure then it's nothing serious and the door of your life is still open to some day meeting your soul mate. I will say this: When a woman is desperate. You will definitely attract the players, whore mongers, broken men, and narcissist. They loooove these type of women because they are perpetual users. Remember to protect your mental health at all cost and let peace and happiness be your priority. God bless🙂
Girl I'm printing this out to remind myself in times of need ❤
Wise words! Sometimes big hearted people don't get the appreciation they deserve. There is such a thing as overgiving, especially when you start losing yourself.
@@indyd9322 I agree🙂
Wow well said. And yes often just because u have a good heart and are a generous and loving person it can come across to the wrong guys that you are desperate. We have to gaurd out hearts as women there are wolves out there waiting to take advantage of such women.
Girl you should had posted this 10 years ago so that I seriously would not had wasted my time buying gifts for the motherf***. Thanks for the video. God bless you 🙏🏾
😂😂😂😂
Girl 🤣🤣🤣
Gurrrrrl!!!!!! Preach 🙌 I’m gonna homemake all my gifts from here on out for these men. Grab some crayons and colored paper. That’s all they get from here on out. They don’t deserve anything more from what I’ve seen.
😂😂😂
I feel the same
I have so many instances where the guy probably categorize me as the dream girl/out of his league girl, but things flip after initial dating and then they become hostile, irritable, and condescending. If a man couldn't work out their own issues, they will eventually sabotage any relationship.
You may be attracting narcissistic men. They have the big enough ego to approach dynamic women then tear you down once you are involved.
You could be attracting or picking pretentious men, however, if you have many instances then the problem could also be you…
This happens to me extremely frequently. I used to think I was doing something wrong. But when I started naming the inconsistencies in behavior very quickly (like, two or three dates in) made it clear that I was too serious about my career to give time to it, and actually left/court contact, I’ve found they actually admit this. I don’t acknowledge it or restart the conversations, but I’ve had this admitted to me.
Girl, it's a 180 degree flip, 360 is a full circle 😅
This !
Similarly, I just saw a clip from Iyanla that said she gave up on trying to teach a man how to love her. She chose to no longer participate in the way he loved her and broke up after 14 years. Waiting on people to change or align to you is the same as wanting to change them. That message spoke volumes to me.
Sometimes in a long relationship you go through the stage of being treated like all of them 😢
Yesss! I was looking for this comment because this happened to me. I was practically all of them in the span of a very long relationship.
Fascinating and also I'm sure that was a roller coaster. I can see the micro/macrocosm here. Makes sense
I’ve always been the “good enough girl”. I’m gonna be the “dream girl” for now on. I am the apple of my ABBA’s eye. The head and not the tail. Clothed with strength and dignity, laughs without fear of the future. 💫 A “QUEEN”. 👑
dat part sis 🙌🏼👍🏼apple of Abbas eye
I am adding this to my affirmations 🫶
Amen!🔥💯
Here 🙋🏽 I'm one of the 'Good Enough Girls'.... I need to level up ❤
🔥🔥🔥
It is with a very heavy heart that I say my husband of 33yrs passed away on Nov 6th from heart failure, just days after my 59th birthday on Nov 3rd. Our family is heartbroken and devastated! I know he loved me more than anything in this world but to hear that from family and friends, I am forever grateful and thankful to the Lord for sending me a man who loved and treated me like I deserved to be loved and treated. My soulmate and love of my life has been called home to be with our Heavenly Father. Until we meet again, Rest in Peace 🙏. I love you Jeff ❤
🙏🏼✨prayers and strength to you and your family. Yahweh bless you
Prayers to you and your family 🙏🏾💕👑 sending prayers beautiful soul 👸🏽💕
I lost my brother 11.01.2023. God bless you and God bless Jeff ❤ I am overcome with joy that you experienced such a happy and loving marriage.
Sending my deepest condolences 🙏🏽
I’m so sorry for your loss ! 😢🥺
I was the "out of their league" girl. But not only in intellectual capacity and looks, but also in emotional intelligence. Because I eloquently called them out on their harmful behavior (their demanding nature in constantly telling me to submit and their lack of attentiveness/ inability to give me the quality time I desired when we were on dates) they decided to triangulate and emotionally cheat on me with someone more in his league (his junior in school). The other woman isn't "better than you," she is just a "better fit" for him. After months of stonewalling and gaslighting, he finally admitted I deserved way better than him.
Wow, you described two of my past relations, but I'm aware that I played low and will not accept less this time.
This was my situation with my ex too. And he got married with the other woman who he cheated on me with in less than a year. But little does she know, she saved me from being tied to a narcissist
They blow my mind with the “you deserve better than me” admission. This is obviously true, but why confess this a year or two into the tormentship?🙄
Watch out for the guys who act proud or supportive but actually get in your way. Action > Words
Preachhh
Would you give an example so I know what to watch out for?
@@CoffeeCrashedMal it could look like negging or 1 upping you. I experienced that last one, anything I got myself he would get (more) for himself (I would buy a pack of trading cards, he would buy a pack/ bundle)
My ex always said “a lot of men want you but you’ll probably never get married.” He married the girl after me but now says he made a mistake…has a whole wife and kids. Men are immature and often jealous. They wanna bring you down a peg. The girl that he said that too and who I am now are the same person….it’s crazy.
Oh my God...same thing happened to me..back after 21 yrs begging..with a whole fuxken wife and kids in tow..like NINJA is you high?????😂😂
That incubus is in prison and wants to come back outside. Lol
He didn't make any mistake, he just wants you.
Maybe he's lying just so he gets freebies. Maybe he's having temporary marital problems and needs a shoulder from an easy girl. You were never his first choice, so don't be fooled by words and become a mistress
@p.t.maketo7125 that part! Just looking for an escape
When it comes to men and them labelling a woman a “good time girl” it’s important to keep in mind how the Madonna-Whore Complex comes into play…a lot of women are not giving sexual access or behaving like a good time girl but because of their physical beauty or natural body type they are categorised as such and boldly approached with that assumption which can be disheartening. I think that nuance should be tactfully unpacked in your next detailed video
You're so right. I know many women including myself that were mistakenly put into 'good time girl' category just because we dressed feminine, made the most of our appearance and are naturally smiley and friendly. It's quite frustrating but I guess we have to weed out the men that don't see our true worth and value and date well until we meet the man on the same wavelength and vibration.
@@gierk27 Madonna made a living from equalizing herself. so yeah if lots of people see you like that it means you aren't presenting yourself well
@@deusexmachina9776Madonna refers to the Virgin Mary
Yup! All this right here.
It kinda depends here, because most good-looking women don't show off their looks. Most of them don't know that they are so beautiful, and as a result many of them never discovered that aspect of themselves. The few women who did discover this do have to be careful about how they show off, because there's a difference between dressing and behaving well and being ratchet. And I don't mean behaving well as a doormat, but as a woman who is tactfully clever socially speaking.
The out of their league woman makes me think of Marilyn Monroe. Almost every man she was with mistreated her in some way, chated etc because of their own low self esteem. They didn't feel worthy of her and/or enevied and hated her success so they tried to bring her down.
I think 'dream girl' is the best outcome. We need some balance.
Wrong about the 1st part of the "out of his league" woman... That's not a happily ever after situation if the guy worships you and basically becomes the "desperate" man for you. What will.happen is that you will lose respect for that man and end up leaving him or forcing him away
As a married woman, I can see different facets of myself in all five of these archetypes and how they show up in my marriage.
"Go where you're wanted"
Faccccccccts
I was the out of league girl due to being the breadwinner and a difference in height and looks. Many people questioned it, even heard it from strangers. The negative effects explained here were very accurate. It’s a very traumatizing experience and there has been a long journey of rebuilding self confidence. People may guilt you about wanting to date on your level, but don’t listen to this as they just want you to grant access to everyone. Women have so much to lose when they are not careful about who they commit to.
Well said !!
True
Being the breadwinner is masculine
Heavy on the last part!!!
I know it
I've been all of these at some point, but when I was in a relationship with a guy who thought I was out of his league it was terrible. He actually got abusive. They know deep down that you're not attracted to them and it will come out some way.
Smh, Ive been put in every one of these category. But now I'm finally in the "dream girl" category. I think even if you are in this category, keep in mind that you can be moved from it by men at any point. So invest in yourselves 1st, always, ladies. ❤
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼❤
Then it will be time to move on for sure.
This video is SPOT ON! Also please know that "out of his league" is not just want she listed but also having healthy and high self esteem. It's definitely not just looks and education because I have seen beautiful smart women in full desperado mode. Stay feminine ladies
TRUE. KhloeK richer, more famous, is more educated & has a better family than Tristan. But, she has esteem issues; so she became the desperado, not the outta-league
You're right. Out of his league can quickly turn into desperado when she's caught feelings and his insecurities have come out. It's so important to prioritise your own self-fulfilment
@@LM-he7ebshe’s more famous but Tristan is an educated man and he comes from a loving background. Khloes mom is a pimp.
It’s great that at the beginning you let very clear that there’s some broken men and they are exceptions, because they will never treat anyone fine, no matter what type of women you are. Others don’t make this distinction and some women are out there blaming themselves for not being able to change an abusive man into a good one.
But even a man that is a good man to one woman might not be a good man to all women.
THIS 👏absolutley!
This made me sad. 3 kids into my marriage and I can relate to the “out of your league girl dynamic gone wrong” way way too much.
The worst part is that I’m not even actually out of his league. He just has way too much trauma and it’s effecting his view of himself
I’m going to be praying for you. I can totally relate. But, thankfully, mine eventually asked for a divorce, was shocked that I didn’t beg him to stay , and I’ve moved on.
✨️Please don't forget the 6th group. The woman who is authentic, loves life, treats herself well, and finds peace from deep within. She nurtures genuine friendships which over time blossom into amazing relationships. 💫
Yes, this is what I want t be and this is what I hope my daughter will be like! Thank you! Namaste! 🙏💜🌟🌻
🙏🏽
@@june.w.1288Good thing to want for her mamas
I was a bugatti girl in my last relationship. He started out spoiling me and going out of his way to prove he could make me happy. He proposed 2 months down the line, I of course said it was too soon. The relationship crumbled in a year, he felt constantly insecure and worried that he couldn't provide for my lifestyle, and eventually couldn't get it up. I found out he was talking to another girl who was more in his league and eating out of his palm so I ended it. He still reaches out from time to time.
It's just hard to find the right mam, he may treat u great in the beginning but once he's with you for awhile he gets too comfortable and behaves in any way he feels . Respect goes out the window .
They always show red flags
@@REDBONEPRODUCTIONS876For instance...? 🤔
This is so true that's why we must always guard out hearts as women.
I’ve been an out of my league girlfriend in majority of my relationships and I completely understand now why they were always jealous and envious. This was a amazing description thank you ❤
this is the most nuanced video about men i've ever seen. really made me think about how men in my past treated me. i've had so many men who i chased and told me that they didn't see me in a romantic way at first. they liked the initiative i had because they didn't have any game, so they felt like they could give me the bare minimum. this totally explains why they treated me that way.
Who ever thought that a youtube channel would change a woman's whole perspective on life, love and dating?
Feminine universe is that channel. ❤❤❤❤
Awww! This really touched my heart! I'm so happy I can help and give you some things to think about, love 💕
I agree!! I had a light bulb moment watching it
I think a perfect example of the Out Of Your League Girl is Astrid from Crazy Rich Asians. Look at the car ride scene where she confronts him about cheating and the scene where she tells him she’s leaving to live on her own. Also the fact that she hid her purchases to make him not feel bad about not being able to afford them all while she could.
Yeesss! the fact that out of your league girls get triangulated and cheated on because their partner simply thinks his woman is too good for him and he needs validation from an external source!
Exactly my thoughts when I watched it. Astrid came to mind.
Being the out of their league girl is tough, but I came to conclusion that somewhere out there has to be a guy who matches my energy and that toning myself down to fit someone’s life will bring me nothing but misery. And it’s not like there is something to tone down, this is the best version of myself, anything else would be dishonest and deceitful.
I wish all the girlies would watch this. We'd be unstoppable!!
People can't see what they don't have. Trash men think everyone is rubbish, so no matter how valuable you are, they want to see you in the mud
Those are toxic and misogynistic men who are projecting their low self worth on women.
I want to see a 'Raise Your Price' video. This one is really good.
I also want one on a good guy you're not attracted to who is attracted to you and is treating you well.
😭😭😭
I think it’s fair that he gets the same feelings and affection that you get from him back from you. Don’t ruin someone else’s life. You’ll feel terrible later ❤
Idgaf anymore. I'll be me, he can treat me how he sees fit, and i'll take it or leave it. Sick of this advice telling me I have to be a certain way.
I totally understand how you feel.
Absolutely! I know its hard but stand your ground 👏🏻
Real 😅 im genuinely tired. I'll just take to be treated in a way i enjoy it 😅 if i were to be treated like a dog but i enjoy it, then so be it. If i be treated as a prize but i enjoy it, then so be it. If i were to be treated as a princess but i don't enjoy it, no matter how good it sounds to people, i won't do it 😅 simple
I was a "out of your league girl".
The description is so on point.
My divorce was painful on us and our little girl.
Please don’t delete this I’m going to share this with my niece in a few years; I’m learning but I refuse to let another woman in my family not understand the dating. Thnx
You have a beautiful heart. ❤️
babes download it now 🫶 don't risk it
Save the video on Google Drive or something! You’ll spot it easier that way, too ❤
I appreciate that you say "how you're viewed " and not saying its "who you are"
I definitely don't consider myself a desperate person, but I can see how I was potentially "viewed " in that manner in my last relationship. I was miserable.
I dont think he believed I would've actually broke up with him, but when I did he was very taken back. And now, he misses me and wants me back. But hes not what I want.
I feel like I'm a lenient person in all of my relationships (both romantic and platonic friendships) and everybody seems to believe I'll never leave until I actually do. I understand we are human and may feel stressed and make certain mistakes but when you consistently keep mistreating me I cut and run.
I was all of these at some point. I am both feminine and masculine. Yes, I am low maintenance but he always does things for me without me asking. Even little surprises. I truly believe it depends on the man and the woman. You can’t put everyone in the same category. Even in marriage I stopped relying on changing someone or myself and put my effort into prayer reading and getting to know the Lord. This caused a change in myself and my husband. I didn’t do self love self care of myself. I did self love self care in God and he brought that light out. Some don’t believe in Jesus but this is for the ones who do. Put God first keep your eye on him and everything else will fall into place.
This was a great video ❤
I just realized I am a "out of your league" girl, and I feel flattered about that since I spend a lot of time taking care of myself, trying to look good and have new academic achievements, but at the same time I am kind of sad that I loose the person I liked because he couldn't keep up with me. I just wish someday I meet someone who treats and view me as his dream girl.
True story, in college there was a guy whose eyes "twinkled" when he saw me. Even my girlfriend said to me, "he likes you." After that he was so nasty and hostile toward me it was unbelievable, I never understood it until now.
Also, I have seen guys who were OBVIOUSLY interested in a friend take no action and wondered why won't he make a move? They have told themselves that they can't win. And it is vital that a man feels he can win with the woman he wants to be with.
Truth has a resonance to it, doesn't it? And this is some of the best content on relationships I have ever heard.
Keep up the phenomenal work!
This is so informative. Listening to this made me realize I had a few men from my past who tried to put me in the “good time girl” “just good enough” category. Just thinking about their behavior makes me upset. What’s even worse is those same men couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to be bothered when I walked away. I’m married now, but when when my husband & he I were dating he couldn’t understand why those men treated me the way they did. I am fine now, but wow this just opened up my eyes.
I'm so happy you found him. And yet that doesnt take away the past hurt ! Those men were stupid.
I’ve literally been all but the dream girl ….. I feel like crying 😭
❤
Then start now become who you want to be, value yourself and expect respect from others as you give respect! You give power to your thoughts and actions so first practice self care and then give to the guy if his behavior & mentality towards you deserves it.
Quid Pro Quo.
@@christineh4064You are right. Thank You for the kind words. ❤❤❤
I’m 22. I grew up with a masculine energy mother. I would be the kind of girl who help a man to built his carrier, do everything for him as my mom did (my dad is still broke while my mother is successful) But thanks God you change my view in relationships. I only would accept dream woman ( for my long term partner) or out of League treatment from man in daily basis. I’m going to built myself to because this feminine energy woman. Because there is now way I’m going to accept low bare minimum effort as my mom received from my dad.
Without videos like that, I would have a bad marriage for sure. So Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I was out of his league, but he used to worship the ground I walked on so we got married. Even though in the back of my mind, I knew it wasn’t right. 10years later & two kids.. the marriage went sour. These categories are important to recognize earlier on and as women we really need to stop fooling ourselves & be patient for what we want. Learning this lesson now in my 30s.
At least you're still young. Sprinkle sprinkle!
Same. I was happy being worshipped but so confused when he became insecure and controlling.
I been supposedly engaged with this cheating lying confused narcissist who attacked me. I dealt with it for 8 years and finally free. In my 30's now. We did had a child together. Well, I did date someone 2 years ago and he seemed aite. But, he messed around to much and I was the dream/ out of your lead girl. We lived together and had 2 beautiful kids also with my other wonderful child. He was messed up in the head and was very insecure about himself. I admitted I had some skeletons in my closet from my first one who kept harassing me and my children. I went to court for that. And moved up. I told him about it and he didn't even try to protect us and fooled around with this side chick friend of his. He was a fool. I try to make things work but, between also, his evil mother and mines didn't want us together.
I was an out of my league girl and it was honestly so crushing. No matter how much I reassured him that I loved him, he’d constantly compare our accomplishments, looks, upbringing, etc. (why would a girl like you be interested in me anyways?) Eventually he started picking small dumb fights over practically nothing and then broke it off. He ended it by saying that he never loved me and I never truly loved him anyways so it’s best to just end it and be friends. Honestly it still hurts so much and I miss him.
The hardest part about incompatibility is when there's still true love there.
Yeah, I was once with a guy who seemed to adore me and who constantly told me I looked like Shakira (I disagreed). I soon realised it was all lust-driven (the late-night texts about him jerking off at the thought of me were the final straw) and I broke up with him. He was very bitter and vindictive about it and even went as far to berate work of mine that he had previously feigned interest in. He was just trying to get into my pants from day one (and he failed - I'm not that easy). 🙂 He was immature and had unresolved parental issues (alcoholic, angry father and overly mollycoddling mother).
This is what’s happening to me and I too still love him. But not this version of him. It’s excruciating because after 8 years I think he’s actually either ghosting me or trying to turn me into bootie call. It should be easy to walk away but it’s so confusing that it’s not. I hope you’re feeling better ♥️
This is amazingly comprehensive, not only categories but nuance too. I”m over 60 and wish something like this had been available when i was in my 20s.
I come from a family of females who never proved themselves to men ever. These men would always go above and beyond for all of them. Several of them had homes given to them along with the title and deed. And I know from listening to conversations back then aunts and cousins kept their legs closed for a long time. You do not need to open the cupboard and hand out free cookies. My grandmother used to tell us all that when a man loves a woman more than she does him, he will give her justice and equality. She also said when a man leaves the home, he has potential to be anyone else's man. Not sure what happened to many females today. They seem desperate for a man.
Omg. I’m an “out of league” woman. I have a trail of relationships that have gone from adoration to resentment in a short timeframe. I’m an artist who has risen to high levels of prominence, expertise, and pay, but I still feel the extremely difficult years of poverty and struggle and suffering. I tell men I dare about my journey, but I see now that they might pretend to listen but they actually only see what’s in front of them (I’ve heard comments about me to that effect during breakups). I think these men see me in a way that I don’t even see myself, and usually they are correct-in a couple months or a year I’ve gained another extraordinary opportunity. I’ve stopped dating as I focus solely on my career in the hopes of doing some international humanitarian collaborations. I’ll have to think about this much more when I date again.
You have my dream life. Live it as big as you can! I hope you become legendary ❤
Love this ❤❤❤❤
Don't date down..that's all...forget what your loins or kitty cat is telling you..
This is me - accused of being a workaholic or they worship at first and then all of a sudden “the relationship has run its course”. I’m with you. The artist life is tough.
I got a niece who was work in the Cobra. Happy for her. But the woman never had an idea in her life. Go figure.
Holy moly, this was so illuminating! Especially the distinctions between being a dream girl and an out of their league girl. And I realize it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. It only matters how they feel about it.
Precisely. At the end of the day, knowing yourself, what you like, what you dont like, what you are willing to accept and strive for, knowing your value and goals and knowing what you want in a partner is what we should be focused in. Not being “his dream girl” or not being the other types. Bc that is regarding their perception, and you cannot change someone’s wants and needs the same way no man will be able to change those specific things about you. So if you know yourself and what you are looking for and is also able to spot how a specific man views you, that will 100% make dating a little less confusing. Go for someone who you want but also wants you back.
Wow, well put..... But the beauty in it, is we get to decide or settle..... Hmmm..
Thank you, this has really helped me as im going to leave someone and improve myself worth. Its needed and has been on my mind for the past few weeks. Sending you love and many blessings ❤
I love how universal you have made this. I have been all 5 categories at different periods of my life, with a range of different men. And let me assure you, it is much easier to pick the wrong guy than it is to wait for the right one. But there is always a heavy price to pay on the end of that decision... Anyways. Thank you for this 🙏 hopeful we as women will start to come together and support each other more! That would also help open our options up as a society ❤💋 keep sowin' them dreams, girl! 👏
I'm the dream girl for my current partner, and it's beautiful. All the work we've both done on ourselves to be that for one another. 🙌🙌 before I was the good enough girl but I leveled up significantly (Mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually).
Sooo true finally met a man who just DOES and I don’t have to ask! Who’s also emotionally available, mature , good at communicating i can tell not only by his actions and words he wants me. I haven’t even had to do much for this treatment. But you are right to where your appreciated when not tolerated.
How is it going now sis?
Girl this video is amazing. I seriously want to show it to every single one of my female friends because I believe everyone needs to see this. I know a girl in every single category she mentioned and I am blessed to say I am my husband’s dream girl. Sending this to every woman in my life because it’s important i hope they don’t get offended over anything but this was beautifully explained and expressed with no bias no hate no preferences… wow. Thoroughly Impressed !!!
Sounds like you're a great friend that wants her girls to be informed and protected. So happy for you and your husband! May you two be blessed with abundant love, wisdom and prosperity 💕
I used to have a friend in college that played the desperate woman trope to a tee. Crazy thing is she was not only smart and kind but drop dead gorgeous as well. She later modeled with the Ebony Fashion Fair Shows. Lost touch with her but I pray she found her worth♥️.
This video is so helpful! I wish I knew this back in my 20s. It's true, men view women and put them in categories. I realized that all you can do is move forward when they show you that they don't value you or want to treat you right. This video really helped me realize, how to avoid being the "Good Time girl" or desperate girl. Men use up women in those categories. I wish I knew then what I knew now. I also believe alot of men marry the "Good Enough Girl", that's why the divorce rates are so high. The "Good Enough Girl" gets mediocre or basic treatment
A raise your price video would help
1:30 Intro: Why it Matters
1:49 The 2 Category Model
2:05 The 3 Category Model
2:40 The 5 Category Model
3:16 Non Category- Can’t treat anyone well.
Abusive- broken beyond repair
*The 5 Categories*
6:10 The Desperate Girl
9:18 The Good Time Girl
12:09 The Good Enough Girl
15:55 Dream Girl
19:09 The Out of Your League Girl
thanks!!
I do not usually write comments like that but someone who is willing to put labels and loves categorization is usually NOT worth your time at all... Accept someone for who they are, some improvements are always possible but ranking and putting labels is a huge turn off.... We people do not fit in boxes !
Thank youu
Thank you so much! The thumbnail drew me in but it disappears when the video starts and he didn't pit the categories in the description 🙁
Me being me and not having seen this channel before I needed to see the categories to see if I want to invest time in watching. Thanks again.
Wasn’t expecting much when I clicked(bcus the net is trash)but may I say you were so right in everything you said and I know it because I observed these same situations and types of women…I’m the friend everyone calls for advice,but when you try to tell them the truth they’re so in denial they don’t want to see it😢
I love how healthy this analysis was for all parties involved.
Oh this hurts! I went from the good time girl to good enough girl and i feel m turning into a desperate girl!! I need to get a hold of myself before its too late.
Thankyou so much for this video 💗
You can do it!!!!
Focus on yourself and self love and self improvements you will naturally attract ♥
I think I was a good-enough girl with my ex. I was dismissed by friends/fam when I complained, because "He doesn't mistreat you. Why are you complaining?"
But what do we do about this? I’m seriously struggling right now and ready to leave. At the same time though he has always treated me well. He’s an amazing guy, but has no ambition and no thoughtfulness in our relationship.
@@itzwhooshie2217leave. I was a good enough girl for 13yrs. We have one kid. He treated me well but had no intentions of getting married. After all those years he still wasn't ready for marriage😪 I'm single now, starting over from scratch.
On point with these categories!! There is jealousy going on with dream girls. It’s a love/hate relationship from the man.
Absolutely love this ! Thank you so much for such a good explanation, you have just helped me resolve and break through the problems that confusing situations left me with.
I wish I’d had you around as a friend at the times I was shell shocked by the confusion of bad experiences that I just couldn’t understand.
Thank you so much for your time and knowledge, you are saving women from the heartbreak or even dangerous situations that are hard to see coming. X
RAISE YOUR PRICE! This is soo timely as Ive always thought of myself as the dream gurl but, may have been perceived as the good enough girl due to confidence issues (somewhat geeky). I use to think something was wong with me because guys didn't approach me like my sister. Now I realize what I think subconsciously is telling others how to treat me
Hello darling. I'm married to a man who adores me but is not a natural romantic and this type of analytical deep thinking and highly moral man is rarely romantic. We recently attended a marriage course at a local church (we are not believers) and it HELPED so very much. The course is structured to help couples find the way into sharing each others needs and finding solutions. HIGHLY recommended if you feel that your marriage is not what you hoped.
🙏🙏🙏
I would love to do this with my partner, but I don't think he would be open to going, unfortunately
Hi. I am just curious. Do you happen to know your husband's personality type (Myers-Briggs)? Sounds like my husband when you said "analytical deep thinking and highly moral man". :) Thanks in advance.
As a man I would say this is probably 90%+ accurate. Also one thing I'd like to mention is the women having a degree thing is simply not even a thing, most of us don't care. Maybe 1 out of 1000 men think that's something to be intimidated by but honestly we do not see women as our competition so it just don't matter.
I’m pursuing a PhD (in grad school now) and always wondered if that will actually be a turnoff rather than out of their league. Anyway, I will say that a man may not view me as out of his league for that, but a woman will view a man with much less education as below her league. I hate that I feel that way but it’s true. Attraction is not a choice unfortunately. And so that significantly lowers my dating pool.
Wow! You described the issues I had in my marriage (now divorced). I was his dream girl, but my family and I didn't have the struggles he had. I saw us as one, so what I have, you have. Also, we can grow together and build our family. He ended up competing with me, starting arguments out of nowhere, neglecting my needs, and just was absent. It was heartbreaking, because I really did love him and wanted the best for us... Not me....us!
Def want to see “raise your price”… after MANY years of being together things have changed & I want more ❤
My 1st time I was desperate,
My 2nd time I was good time,
My 3rd time is out of your league.
No one gonna have my precious time and presence just like that.
STELLAR content.
Thank you for breaking this psychology down into such splendid detail!
I also LOVE the inclusiveness of the visuals. Looking forward to more! 😍
I need the #RaiseYourPrice video. You just gained a subscriber. Thank you sister for putting on game! This video is definitely needed.
If you wanna know what the life of an Out of League girl is, watch Crazy Rich Asians. That is Astrid asf. Bro even cheats so he can feel like he's worth something. You'll see a lot of these tropes in that movie
So true
Definitely understand this from that movie
Yup! I was the “out of league” girl and got cheated on.
I wish i had a friend like you! You answered alot . My mom died when I was 23 and I dont have any sisters or close friends. I wish i knew this years ago. Im stuck in the Good Enough Girl catagory.....I gotta get out! Thank you ❤
That's the First mistake. Stay in and educate yourself. Try out things that make you a better person for You. Doing it the other way will attract the kind who you don't want. Stay home and preserve yourself.
You are deeeeeeeep! I’m hooked, currently binge watching your videos
Glad you're finding value here, sis! Welcome to the family 💕
The out of your league girl clip with the guy crawling in the dirt took me clean out 😂🤣
I’ve watched a ton of videos on this aubject and this is honestly one of the best ones I’ve seen. You break these highly complex concepts so clearly into categories and examples that we can understand. I used to not want to have requirements because I didn’t want to seem high maintenance, now I know they show my worth. This video was so informative; thank you!
What kind of requirements? I need to start putting some in place 😭
Im definitely the Good Enough Girl. Didnt even get anything for my birthday from him. But he calls, he reaches out all the time, when he isnt busy. He has never done anything to directly hurt me, he visits when he can. But hey no gifts, no surprises, no nothing like that... Why 😭
because he has another girl on the side....
It might be that surprises and giving gifts are not his way of showing love, and he shows it in other ways. Look up the different types of love language. Also, sometimes guys just need to hear from you what you actually want, if you can present it in a positive way.
Hey, Thank you.@@reina5741
This is by far the best video analysis I saw for the type of women in relationship. It even works for how women view men as well. Good video.
Loved to see my Korean Ouppas on this vid ❤and thank you for the categories makes sense
This is one of THE best explanations out there on the subject. Ladies, LISTEN UP! We've created the mess we are in, and only we can change it!
you’ve COMPLETELY clarified my last two relationships for me. i’ve been the out of league girl - ALL because I didn’t choose a man who was at my standard! These men didn’t like me by the end of our relationship, they’d pick arguments, etc. But the beginning was so great! This shows I as the woman must pick a “man within my ranks” to not make either of us a disservice!!
You've got an immediate subscriber here🙋♀️ So straightforward and well explained!