Helpful Insights on Birth Children in Foster and Adoptive Families with Daniela Coats

In this episode of the Foster Friendly podcast, hosts Brian and Courtney engage in a heartfelt conversation with Danielle Coates, who shares her unique experiences growing up in a foster and adoptive family. Danielle discusses the challenges and joys of being a biological sibling to foster children, the feelings of invisibility and replacement she faced, and the importance of supporting biological kids in foster families. The conversation also delves into practical strategies for parents to engage their biological children in discussions about fostering and adoption, emphasizing the need for open communication and validation of their feelings.
Daniela Coats shares valuable insights on the experiences of biological children in foster care, emphasizing the importance of connection and visibility. She discusses the emotional challenges faced by these children, including feelings of invisibility and grief due to the transient nature of foster care. Daniela also introduces her children's book, 'The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible,' which addresses these themes and aims to foster understanding and empathy. The discussion highlights the need for community support and the significance of acknowledging the feelings of all family members involved in foster care.
RESOURCES TO CHECKOUT:
Daniela's children's book: The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible
Checkout Daniela's org "With Siblings"- which exists to support the birth children in foster and adoptive families by equipping parents and professionals through training and resources.
www.withsiblin...
Courtney's ebook: Navigating Foster Care with Your Children: A Support Guide to Help You and Your Family Through the Journey
Takeaways
Foster care conversations are essential for community building.
Biological siblings in foster families often feel invisible.
Open communication is crucial for biological kids' emotional health.
Parents should validate their children's feelings about fostering.
Engaging biological kids in discussions about fostering is important.
Training resources can help parents support their biological children.
Sibling relationships in foster care can be complex and emotional.
Children's voices should hold agency in family decisions.
Navigating grief and loss is a key aspect of fostering.
Fostering can lead to unexpected emotional journeys for all family members. Connecting with biological kids is crucial in foster care.
Bio kids often feel invisible and need support.
Community involvement can help bio kids feel seen.
Grief and loss are significant challenges in fostering.
Parents should model healthy grieving for their children.
Books can be a valuable tool for discussing feelings.
Anticipatory grief is common in foster care situations.
Children's feelings of invisibility can be addressed through storytelling.
Foster families need to be healthy for the system to work.
Acknowledging all feelings is important for emotional health.
Sound Bites
"I felt like I was being replaced."
"I have paid my dues, if you will."
"I want to foster and adopt."
"What about birth order?"
"We can ask the questions all day long."
"Bio kids often feel invisible."
"How can you help bio kids to feel seen?"
"The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible."
Learn more about being a foster or adoptive parent or supporting those who are in your community.
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