Dated a women for almost 3 years. Was going to ask her to marry me in July when we went on vacation. Till She ended back mid March for reasons saying she needed to focus on herself. I agreed with the breakup since you can’t force someone to be with you if they don’t want to be. I had a feeling there was another guy since I saw the signs. Accused her that she had to be talking to her coworker which of course was denied and I was looked as the bad guy. Low and behold 3 weeks after we break up his names all over her Instagram where my name never was. I was okay with the break up but finding out I was monkey branched hurts more then anything else. I took the time to learn why it didn’t work and just pisses me off that she ran into the sunset with another man so soon as if the past 3 years were for nothing. Long story short monkey branching is truly evil and shows the other person true colors. Just make sure you learn everything you can and improve yourself if it unfortunately happens to you. Take the time to heal. Hope you all have a good day
Sometimes the monkey branching can take years to set up. I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other. I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while. The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would visit him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
My ex did this word for word. Only she'd only known the guy she left me for like 2 weeks. I don't understand how it's so easy to end 3 years of a relationship for someone they hardly know. I understand why she did it, she didn't feel like I loved her enough. I loved her so much but she didn't care to ask nor did she care for the answer I would've given. Some women/men are just too messed up to date long term.
And I thought my ex was fucked-up. This is like 10 times more, but I’m sure they’d get along well. My thoughts go out to the guy. He didn’t deserve any of this.
"she just saw you as a good option she could utilize." ouch. but true. i feel like those who are genuine cannot fully imagine thinking in these terms, and it creates a blind spot that can be exploited by those who operate on that level. it's so hard to think that the person we care for may be regarding us & other people like that.
Keep making this videos I think it gives people clarity for who this people really are and their intentions. Many of us deal with self doubt and self blame after being monkey branched thinking that we are not man enough to keep a woman or that we did everything wrong when in fact is them with the issues. I was married for 8 years had 3 kids , she monkey branched 3 times , third time being the last when I realized I was blue pill af. But this is necessary to learn the lessons that life throws at us. Is part of life just make sure u learn from this mistakes and work on yourself build your self up to be unstoppable and unbreakable. This channel is gonna blow up.
Unfortunately, these days women shame each other for being virgin. The world is twisted, instead of praising up girls who save their purity, they are shamed and called out!
almost dating this girl for 5 years, never a suspect for cheating as a always trusted her. our relationship got into a routine these last few months and she brought it up last month; however I think she was already checked out and never brought it up before. That same time she started talking to some guy, I found out shorty after and called her out. She apologized and provided affection for the next couple weeks as normal, and there were no more signs of her talking to this guy. Unfortunately, the relationship did call quits as she felt guilty and needed “space”. Two days later, I find out she’s over this guys house…
Imagine my ex moving in with a woman who he was having an emotional affair with within days from our separation. She cheated on her 13 year relationship to be with him, he cheated on our 13 year relationship/marriage to be with her. They both jumped in and moved in together within days and “fell in love”. A relationship sooo organic and pure 😉
Im terribly sorry to hear that. I hope you are recovering slowly. Did you notice any red flags when you started dating your ex? Was there any indication that he wasn’t faithful prior to you finding out about the emotional betrayal?
Well damn how worse can it get... Same red flags, same excuses, same lies and same result always. We learn alot from all these videos despite them all being synonymous in their elements. I think if we never came across this channel, we'd all be victims of monkey branching more than once. Mr Tow truck 😂😭😂 I hope this guy is doing okay, time and self development is the biggest key to recovery. This channel and Christian have been really instrumental in our recoveries from such a tragedy. Great video yet again Christian, keep it up man! 👌👏
Thank you, Christian, for the direct approach of explaining this painful topic. While other coaches are trying to soften the blow and give false hope, you tell it like it is. Obviously you have experience with being betrayed in a cruel way. My ex gf lives in another state, and we've been in a relationship for a year or so, and lined up another guy and didn't think I would notice the change in her behavior. While she was seeing this guy, she told me how much she loved me. When I confronted her, she had the balls to tell me in my face "I met someone a few days ago, and I want to see where it leads. I'm sorry, but it wasn't my intention. I hope you don't hate me". I told her to "f---k off and have a nice life" and went into NC immediately. It hurts, yes, but like you said a few times, it could be worse. Last I heard, she moved in with this guy three weeks after meeting him. I'm looking forward to the day she contacts me just so that I can reject her.
Youre more than welcome Jim. I’m glad the content has helped you. We need a world where men are masculine, women are feminine and values are placed over emotions! I hope you recover. Take your time. You’ve got the chance to turn a new leaf and start fresh. You can now look towards your future and prepare yourself for the next relationship with a great woman instead!
Dont hold your breath! Been in this situation more times than I care to remember. The attachments hurt. Once you get past that and get over the emotional and mental insanity after it does happen. You learn to let go much faster. MEN NEED TO REPEATEDLY TELL THEMSELVES "I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A WOMAN'S BAD BEHAVIOR! I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW I SHOW UP AND ACT." Stop taking responsibility for things you have no control over and start taking responsibility for things you do. Easy come easy go.
Jeez all of this is so freaking eye opening. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos and for providing these explanations. I’m learning a lot!
@@RelearningRelationships I'll tell you my story one day but I'm still trying to exit the situation, these videos stop me from being soft and remind me what I'm dealing with. They're not special they are arseholes you can't work with.
Well if I tell you my story about the betrayal I've gone through with BPD expartner and mother of my 3 kids after your break down of Jimmy betrayal and the red flag you talk about then I am a complete joke of weak man and IAM reflecting to myself where I went wrong I've wasted 28 years of my life with a woman who as used me and the worst part of it is I let her uses me .I am 53 years of age and it took a young man to show me where I fu.... up by being weak . and by the way I love the calmness and tone of your voice telling the story of Jimmy.the only defense I can say for my self is I have high functioning autism and I was blind to the manipulation.
I’m really sorry to hear that Darrell. Your situation sounds horrible. If you think people can benefit from your experience send me an email and write it out and I’ll happily make it into a video. God bless you.
Lol My brother is behind divorced by his wife. Obviously this came out of nowhere to him. She’s going after a lot of his assets and he’s shocked because she said ‘if we ever divorce I won’t take anything’. Funny how that changes
@@RelearningRelationships there are a lot of things in life that is unfortunate. But if we have the power to keep our eyes open (red flags) we can protect ourselves from a lot of pain. But if the pain happens, we owe it to ourselves to learn and not make the same mistakes. It’s funny tho, bc the narc stories all have much of the same elements.
With narcs it will always be the same. That is why I do the videos. To teach pattern awareness. That way you can see clearly that your “ situation isn’t special” it’s objectively proven that Narcs wether covert or overt end up doing the same heinous betrayal once your utility no longer serves them.
@@RelearningRelationships it’s worked out with my brother to stay with me and lean on me. I know ‘narc’ is thrown around often, but a year before his divorce my fiancé left after getting knocked up by a coworker. So I try to steer him to a rational mindset. You’re a good source, a good man. ✊🏿
I really appreciate that! Thank you :) Good luck with your brother! Stay strong and remain his support until he heals! It can take awhile to detox from a narc!
Well, my ex told me all those words too. Back then I promised not to hurt her and look past all of her flaws (it's not a dealbreaker, yet). And she decides to monkey branch. Her birthday is in 3 hours, so screw that.
Watch their actions not their words. Watch their friends their families their co workers their lifestyle their habits their voice inflections their emotions their reactions how they text how they talk all of it. Take notes. 7 look for inconsistencies and consistencies and changes if something changes you'll know something's up you'll feel it in your gut
My ex wife of 8 years monkey branched to another guy. I was the sole breadwinner, lead by example and more.. She didn’t respect me and I compromised. Even though I was seething deep down inside and she reluctantly followed my leadership. Under any normal circumstances, I would have exited the relationship but I have children with this lady and so I choose to stay and try to work it out with her.
I have been watching your videos from time to time. My question I want to ask is. My ex of nearly 4 year basically monkey branch the moment she went to college. From Being together everyday and spending time together. The day she left. She did it over a text and claim I was stupid. So I never called her again. Work on myself fir nearly 2 years and I look and feel better then the day she left me. Consistency hitting the gym and doing college. My ex gotten pregnant by the next guy within a year of them together. Even though I never beg her back. My question is. Why would someone monkey branch then run off to the sunset but a year of no contact she decided to send me a text message randomly but when I don’t respond she watches my social media. And she even conctact my younger siblings. My question is what the point of all that she is basically betray me. So why does she bother looking back?
Because she has low self esteem and figured she can reach out and use you as a back up option/ break glass in case of emergency and have you at her beck and call if she feels like she can suck you back in. Unfaithful partners never return out of love or regret. Only to use and exploit you. Don’t let them.
What happened with your situation? I have two sons with my ex she said she was going to her brother's house but actually was seeing his roommate/best friend and moved the kids in with them two days after leaving my house. It's been four months
Happened to me last January with my son's mother...went for a guy with more $$$ while I was out working two jobs.... happy I didn't marry her. Look at it as a blessing. I lost 30 pounds, reconnected with family and friends and dating higher quality women...give them the breakup ..we deserve better. And always remember that sooner or later karma comes for us all.
Sometimes monkey branching can take years to set up. I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other. I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while. The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would visit him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
Another thing i learned after many heartaches and being vulnerable. When they give you the let's just be friends speech. Forcany given reason. Whether it's someone else in the picture or her losing attraction and feelings or she just got a lot of Life circumstances going on. You got two choices either walk away, or you be friends and you treat her like a friend. Have fun with it and start giving her fist bumps and side shoulder pats. Crack a few beers with her and burp. And farting back of her never fart in front of a lady! lol. Have fun with it. Take her to Monday Night Football and introduce them as a friend. Give her the Royal friends treatment and look elsewhere. Be imaginative and creative
@@RelearningRelationships So Im curious? What are your biblical reasons for walking away from that scenario? I tried for a week and I cant with this one. Even flat out told her if she changes her mind give me a call initially. We both kind of caved, broke the silence and talked that aspect of it out a few weeks ago. Shes very kind but very REAL and I love her dearly for who she is. Her intentions are very pure. I have to constantly remind myself though that its how a person shows up as of current. Im just not sure if she has the potential at this moment in time to meet my needs....Maybe I was a little selfish for bringing it up on more than one occasion? She casually mentioned that maybe she was a little selfish for wanting a relationship with me when we started this last Oct. I thought good long and hard about what you said about how needs can be a place of selfish fulfillment. I have also thought good long and hard about the difference between love and limerace. I like to think I've been given a special set of circumstances. We are very understanding and patience with absolute humility with each other and very supportive of one another. What prompted the "lets just be friends and see where it goes speech" is there was a prior relationship we had for the last year. In the last 5 months I brought up our intimacy issues and her lack of presence and such due to all the legitimate stressors going on in her life. We are both out of a divorce. She is living at her parents saving for a home of her own. She has a lot of stressors and outside circumstances at work and home. Her sister's marriage is suddenly falling apart due to a cheating husband. Her fathers health is poor and he is manic mentally on a weekly basis due to work related illnesses (Pneumonia and mishandling of workmans comp from enployer.) and severe tension that is putting the family's home finances and stability on very rocky waters and circumstances which is forcing her to move very quickly to reestablish her stability and life. She will be in her own home by the end of this month. From what I gather. Despite some dysfunction (What family doesnt these days?) there. These are good people and well meaning people with charachter flaws like anyone else. This all transpired in the last two months. Unless I am mistaken?I think I was given that speech possibly not due to monkey branching but due to lack of being able to fulfil my needs. (Believe me I looked for all the signs as Ive been through it and seen it many times in past relationships and marriage. I know the difference between pulling away for selfish reasons and pulling away for legitimate ones. As hard as I tried I really havent gathered any concrete evidence in behaviors. Changes yes some. Due to stressors outside of us. Also she has health issues reproductive related and other. I do too but it doesn't affect anything. She has PCOS and Fibroids amongst other things. We still talk every day or every other day still. Im trying to remain grounded and balanced in reality too. I dont see any deceptions or half truths with this one. Its been a month since "the friends" conversation and Im ok with being friends for now since we both couldnt devote time to the relationship currently. I wasnt at first. But I made my intentions very clear that after a certain amount of time without applying any pressure on either of us. If I dont eventually start to see things redeveloping after the "dust of life" settles. and we arent working together torwards a relationship then I have to let her go. Shockingly she told me that shes truly and genuinely sorry she couldnt meet my needs do to all the stressors going on and that she doesnt want to hold me back and that I deserve those things since I am a good and caring man and that Im free to explore my options and that she understands Im human and have needs and I deserve that. Im not willing to go there. I want to continue this for now even if it is plutonic. We both made it clear we are not going anywhere with each other. But yeah the relationship title and intimacy is gone for now. We spent some time together this weekend and will again this Friday. It was very nice and simple and relatable. First time Ive seen her since August Im going to choose to be a little more patient for now. But what do you suggest? What is your insight?
@@bobbyscalchi4013 she’s not that into you, Werther it’s due to incompatibility or lack of physical attraction one thing remains clear, she has low enough self esteem to keep interacting with yogi whilst keeping her emotional investment at a minimal. Wether things are hard in her personal life or not, if she had strong enough desire for you she wouldn’t be making any excuses as to why she isn’t meeting your needs. Actions speak louder than words. Walk away, find a woman that displays the same interest you do! God bless you & good luck.
@@RelearningRelationships Yeah thats what Im seeing as of recently is the investing she put up a lot of in the last year went caput around August which triggered my red flags before that talk in Sept. I get what you are saying. Dont be an emotional tampon or therapist. I think things got too comfortable and complacent and run down on her side with life in the last few months. I see it in the way she dresses as of lately. Very frumpy. Earlier on she was trying harder not only to meet my needs but to keep me and my attention. I think life got to her amd now shes just realizing that she has to put herself first or there wont be anything left of her to give. I have my own issues too Im working on. Normally I wouldnt let one ride it out this far for as long as I have but this one is very giving and Im not seeing manipulative behaviors. I think shes just tired. She has been pretty consistant in actions and words up until recently. As far as the compatibility. Well that depends on what area? Ive always felt the physical connection wasnt that strong from the jump on my side. Cerebral and personality wise though. Yes. Very much. Physical chemistry. Not so much. But I stuck with it to observe and see where the actions wouldnt match the words looking for inconsistencies and I cant find them. lol. Other than the physical affection I desire. But yeah. I am going to give it just a little more time and if I dont see things headed in the direction I want and need in all areas of what I consider a healthy relationship. Im going to walk away. I wont settle for breadcrumbs. I agree with you. The desire has diminished by her own mind, her own excuses, her own hands and her own efforts. I think there is mild moments of depression and despair on both our sides that waxes and wanes due to constant circumstantial stuff outside of us. Her efforts are slowly coming back but we will see. Im the one who is actually thawing. Im just giving this one a patient last chance because of all the things she has going on health wise and stress wise. We have been recently going on dates. Hugs are there. She baked me some cookies. Im not intentionally kissing her again until I know and see that shes ready for it if shes ready for it. Im not shy at all in "that department" quite the opposite actually and Im VERY GOOD at it. They all know it. Im giving her two months to get her life and herself in order and place me back on the priority list when it comes to physical affection and romantical time spent or I am definately walking away because I do deserve to have all my needs met in all areas. I do deserve to grow and not remain stagnant. In my life or anyone else's. Thanks for the prompt reply.
Depends why your asking to see her phone. Is your birthday coming around the corner and she’s hiding her phone so you can’t see the present she ordered ?Unless there’s a reason such as that… then you might want to wonder why she’s hiding it
My ex monkeybranched to another guy 2 times. One time I accepted her back, for me is very dificult to forget her because Im feeling that its my fault. Why because we were in 3 years of long distance relationship we never met phisicaly well i know it sounds stupid but, It was hard to meet. My question is wheres the problem? That she is just a monkeybrancher? and would have left me even if i was with her or she did these monkeybranchings because I never met her? Whos fault it is? If I accept this girl (single mother of 3 kids) as a dishonest person? Or the fault is mine and if we were together she would never do this to me?
@@RelearningRelationships Well because I was thinking like this: Well yes she has kids and maybe she learned to live tough, she learned from her mistakes and now wants to create a strong family. Also I tought that when you give your respect and accept the person with his dificulties that would matter something to him. I am too honest person and fell for the trap. I was believing in her honesty. But now my eyes are opened. Anyways to heal faster I want to know was this my fault not meeting her or it was her fault and she would do this no matter what? Thank you for your work and your responses!!!
She had children with a different man. Why would you lower yourself to be with a woman like that when you can do so much better! This is her own choice. If she’s a cheater then that is 100% on her! If you’re serious about starting your OWN FAMILY then you must choose a woman who is single, emotionally available and prepared to be a wife and mother. In my program I teach men exactly how to weed out immoral women and properly identify an honourable woman, etc. If you want to learn how to master relationships righteously; then book a free call with me and we can discuss all the details of the program:www.relearningrelationships.com/
hmmmm.... what were you expecting dating a 23year old girl while being a 31 year old man who has his life figured out? of course the maturity is not there yet, am I the only one who is concerned he is dating a much younger girl?
The age gap will always be a problem. That’s why younger women will either use an older man for stability or safety. Never for genuine motives. It is a problem.
So I spent 10 minutes writing out a comment. Basically about how watching your videos have helped me get two crazy women out of my life, the comment post is up for 30 seconds and is gone. You just lost a subscriber.
The RUclips algorithm picks up on certain key words that become censored automatically when you write and post them. It’s not my fault that RUclips deleted your “ comment within 30 seconds”, might I add, I didn’t even see your comment due to the fact that RUclips deleted it instantly. Perhaps you can be patient and ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
@@RelearningRelationships completely clean as if I was talking to my grandmother in church, no profanity. Punctuation in all the right places, correct grammar. Basically saying, that while I was cleaning out the closet I ran across some of the ex-wife let's call her Sharolyn, paperwork from the last time I got her out of the mental institution/drug rehab center. That was in May of this year, Where she spent the first two days screaming call my husband Jim. That's all they could get out of her. And like an idiot I got her out again. Her paperwork shows that some guy named Clayton as her significant other. Clayton is a heroin junkie that lives in a cardboard box under a bridge. So when she called again from The nut House again. Where she has been since June. And calling me five six times a day want me to get her out and how much she loves me, I confronted her on that. Explain to her, I finally have documented proof that you have been playing me for a sucker all these years because I can get you out of those facilities. Why don't you call Clayton, and leave me alone, you blew it you took advantage of my kindness and took it for weakness. And blocked her number. Crazy woman number one out of my life. And how on Friday, Rhonda who monkey branched on me. Celebrated her 47th birthday, and I didn't bother to call, text, or even acknowledge she existed. Last year the guy she monkey branched on me with gave her the half drank can of beer he was drinking as a birthday present. Where I gave her a half dozen little presents plus cash. Crazy woman number two out of my life. Didn't even send pictures of her cat turning 6 months old on her birthday. I got stuck with the cat. So I think I am getting better. My fascination with Rhonda was she isn't Sharolyn. Rhonda does not do methamphetamines. And finding a woman in this neighborhood that doesn't do methamphetamines is like seeing a unicorn.
. If you have any questions you can always ask me. Never assume I delete comments. I’m really glad to see you stood up for yourself and found your strength! You did the right thing to block her!
@@RelearningRelationships okay yeah I jumped to conclusions and assumed, but right now I'm at that point where I don't trust anything. Resubscribed, my bad. I think it's having to wear this mask I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain anymore.
Monkey branching is a biological natural option for women. Is a tiger evil for trying to eat you? No that is what the tiger does. Feed the tiger regularly it won’t bite you. Give the woman resources and holidays and shopping sprees and then less chance of monkey branching. I don’t do this and won’t do this. But if you want a long term relationship then play this ridiculous game.
You need to get help. It is not a biological option for women. Both men and women suffer at the hands of unfaithful partners. Saying “ all women are the same” is no different then a feminist saying “ all men cheat”. It’s simply not true. There are plenty of great women out there with genuine hearts. If you’re bitter or angry because your marriage or relationship failed because you choose the wrong woman, that is on you. Choose a traditional, feminine woman. Don’t blame the entire opposite gender because of a bad experience you had. Good women will honour you and care for you, never use you, whereas gold diggers, cheaters, narcs, immature women, girls with unresolved trauma and promiscuous women will cause you emotional damage every single time. If you believe men and women should remain divided as per toxic Mgtow and feminist beliefs then go right ahead and wallow in your own misery. Do not comment things that mislead or hurt honest men & women.
That's the spiritual beauty about the human species. Human have a choice. They have intuition, logic and rstional thinking. And we as human beings can also control our thoughts and actions. It depends on what we choose to believe in. You can believe in loyalty and you will never monkey branch. Especially not for money or vacations that you could have with somebody else than your partner. But if you wanna choose materialism over spiritual connection, than have good luck with that. There is a higher entity, that is going to make sure you will get the right consequences for your actions. Never underestimate the power of something higher then us human beings.
Dated a women for almost 3 years. Was going to ask her to marry me in July when we went on vacation. Till She ended back mid March for reasons saying she needed to focus on herself. I agreed with the breakup since you can’t force someone to be with you if they don’t want to be. I had a feeling there was another guy since I saw the signs. Accused her that she had to be talking to her coworker which of course was denied and I was looked as the bad guy. Low and behold 3 weeks after we break up his names all over her Instagram where my name never was. I was okay with the break up but finding out I was monkey branched hurts more then anything else. I took the time to learn why it didn’t work and just pisses me off that she ran into the sunset with another man so soon as if the past 3 years were for nothing. Long story short monkey branching is truly evil and shows the other person true colors. Just make sure you learn everything you can and improve yourself if it unfortunately happens to you. Take the time to heal. Hope you all have a good day
You dodged a bullet there mate! You’re lucky you didn’t marry her. Now you know better and can choose a better quality girl. All the best to you!
Sometimes the monkey branching can take years to set up.
I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other.
I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from
Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim
And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while.
The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would visit him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
My ex did this word for word. Only she'd only known the guy she left me for like 2 weeks. I don't understand how it's so easy to end 3 years of a relationship for someone they hardly know. I understand why she did it, she didn't feel like I loved her enough. I loved her so much but she didn't care to ask nor did she care for the answer I would've given. Some women/men are just too messed up to date long term.
I was dumped by text after 4 yrs., because ‘i need to concentrate on my health and work’ - I got no closure
And I thought my ex was fucked-up. This is like 10 times more, but I’m sure they’d get along well. My thoughts go out to the guy. He didn’t deserve any of this.
. It’s how crazy how damaging and destructive infidelity is.
"she just saw you as a good option she could utilize." ouch. but true.
i feel like those who are genuine cannot fully imagine thinking in these terms, and it creates a blind spot that can be exploited by those who operate on that level. it's so hard to think that the person we care for may be regarding us & other people like that.
Keep making this videos I think it gives people clarity for who this people really are and their intentions. Many of us deal with self doubt and self blame after being monkey branched thinking that we are not man enough to keep a woman or that we did everything wrong when in fact is them with the issues. I was married for 8 years had 3 kids , she monkey branched 3 times , third time being the last when I realized I was blue pill af. But this is necessary to learn the lessons that life throws at us. Is part of life just make sure u learn from this mistakes and work on yourself build your self up to be unstoppable and unbreakable. This channel is gonna blow up.
I hope you find a traditional woman moving forward.
Thank you for the support!❤️
A man of integrity and truth...I'm 60 and know a diamond when I see one...top man...fair play to you👏👏👏
That’s very kind of you. Thank you
Unfortunately, these days women shame each other for being virgin. The world is twisted, instead of praising up girls who save their purity, they are shamed and called out!
Very well said. Wise words Chevy.
almost dating this girl for 5 years, never a suspect for cheating as a always trusted her. our relationship got into a routine these last few months and she brought it up last month; however I think she was already checked out and never brought it up before. That same time she started talking to some guy, I found out shorty after and called her out. She apologized and provided affection for the next couple weeks as normal, and there were no more signs of her talking to this guy. Unfortunately, the relationship did call quits as she felt guilty and needed “space”. Two days later, I find out she’s over this guys house…
Sam story here
welcome
Imagine my ex moving in with a woman who he was having an emotional affair with within days from our separation. She cheated on her 13 year relationship to be with him, he cheated on our 13 year relationship/marriage to be with her. They both jumped in and moved in together within days and “fell in love”. A relationship sooo organic and pure 😉
Im terribly sorry to hear that. I hope you are recovering slowly.
Did you notice any red flags when you started dating your ex? Was there any indication that he wasn’t faithful prior to you finding out about the emotional betrayal?
Some people are just children in disguise.
Well damn how worse can it get... Same red flags, same excuses, same lies and same result always. We learn alot from all these videos despite them all being synonymous in their elements. I think if we never came across this channel, we'd all be victims of monkey branching more than once. Mr Tow truck 😂😭😂
I hope this guy is doing okay, time and self development is the biggest key to recovery. This channel and Christian have been really instrumental in our recoveries from such a tragedy.
Great video yet again Christian, keep it up man! 👌👏
Mr tow truck part cracked me up 😂😂. Appreciate all the love as per usual mate!
I most definitely will keep it up!
She was really shooting for the stars with the ol' tow truck driver
Indeed 😂
Thank you, Christian, for the direct approach of explaining this painful topic. While other coaches are trying to soften the blow and give false hope, you tell it like it is. Obviously you have experience with being betrayed in a cruel way. My ex gf lives in another state, and we've been in a relationship for a year or so, and lined up another guy and didn't think I would notice the change in her behavior. While she was seeing this guy, she told me how much she loved me. When I confronted her, she had the balls to tell me in my face "I met someone a few days ago, and I want to see where it leads. I'm sorry, but it wasn't my intention. I hope you don't hate me".
I told her to "f---k off and have a nice life" and went into NC immediately. It hurts, yes, but like you said a few times, it could be worse. Last I heard, she moved in with this guy three weeks after meeting him. I'm looking forward to the day she contacts me just so that I can reject her.
Youre more than welcome Jim. I’m glad the content has helped you. We need a world where men are masculine, women are feminine and values are placed over emotions!
I hope you recover. Take your time.
You’ve got the chance to turn a new leaf and start fresh. You can now look towards your future and prepare yourself for the next relationship with a great woman instead!
Dont hold your breath! Been in this situation more times than I care to remember. The attachments hurt. Once you get past that and get over the emotional and mental insanity after it does happen. You learn to let go much faster. MEN NEED TO REPEATEDLY TELL THEMSELVES "I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A WOMAN'S BAD BEHAVIOR! I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW I SHOW UP AND ACT." Stop taking responsibility for things you have no control over and start taking responsibility for things you do. Easy come easy go.
Jeez all of this is so freaking eye opening. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos and for providing these explanations. I’m learning a lot!
You’re welcome Boris!
This is simply brilliant!! Thank Christian xx
It's worse when you marry and have kids in this situation.
💯
And properties and long history
Spot on mate.
@@RelearningRelationships I'll tell you my story one day but I'm still trying to exit the situation, these videos stop me from being soft and remind me what I'm dealing with. They're not special they are arseholes you can't work with.
Take your time Adam. Write it out and send it to me via email when you’re ready. Im always at your service
Thsnk you for this video i'm going through fu... Hell after her branching
Sorry brother's in the same boat as well still f after 5 months things will get better
Wow. You restored my faith in humanity.
Well if I tell you my story about the betrayal I've gone through with BPD expartner and mother of my 3 kids after your break down of Jimmy betrayal and the red flag you talk about then I am a complete joke of weak man and IAM reflecting to myself where I went wrong I've wasted 28 years of my life with a woman who as used me and the worst part of it is I let her uses me .I am 53 years of age and it took a young man to show me where I fu.... up by being weak . and by the way I love the calmness and tone of your voice telling the story of Jimmy.the only defense I can say for my self is I have high functioning autism and I was blind to the manipulation.
I’m really sorry to hear that Darrell. Your situation sounds horrible. If you think people can benefit from your experience send me an email and write it out and I’ll happily make it into a video. God bless you.
Lol
My brother is behind divorced by his wife. Obviously this came out of nowhere to him. She’s going after a lot of his assets and he’s shocked because she said ‘if we ever divorce I won’t take anything’. Funny how that changes
I’m sorry to hear that
@@RelearningRelationships there are a lot of things in life that is unfortunate. But if we have the power to keep our eyes open (red flags) we can protect ourselves from a lot of pain. But if the pain happens, we owe it to ourselves to learn and not make the same mistakes. It’s funny tho, bc the narc stories all have much of the same elements.
With narcs it will always be the same. That is why I do the videos. To teach pattern awareness. That way you can see clearly that your “ situation isn’t special” it’s objectively proven that Narcs wether covert or overt end up doing the same heinous betrayal once your utility no longer serves them.
@@RelearningRelationships it’s worked out with my brother to stay with me and lean on me. I know ‘narc’ is thrown around often, but a year before his divorce my fiancé left after getting knocked up by a coworker. So I try to steer him to a rational mindset. You’re a good source, a good man. ✊🏿
I really appreciate that! Thank you :)
Good luck with your brother! Stay strong and remain his support until he heals!
It can take awhile to detox from a narc!
Well, my ex told me all those words too. Back then I promised not to hurt her and look past all of her flaws (it's not a dealbreaker, yet).
And she decides to monkey branch. Her birthday is in 3 hours, so screw that.
She's dead to you
You are absolutely amazing man. Thank you for these videos. I wish you could help me with my situation but these videos just hit home too close.
You’re more than welcome :) if you want to learn more, book a call on my website or buy a copy of relearning relationships on Amazon.
Also look into anxious attachments and fearful avoidant personalities.
Love is respect and respect is love.
" Smart man. You want to marry a woman that is going to be an asset to your life and bring value, not a liability and takes from it."
Watch their actions not their words. Watch their friends their families their co workers their lifestyle their habits their voice inflections their emotions their reactions how they text how they talk all of it. Take notes. 7 look for inconsistencies and consistencies and changes if something changes you'll know something's up you'll feel it in your gut
Keep it coming bro
I will!
My ex wife of 8 years monkey branched to another guy.
I was the sole breadwinner, lead by example and more..
She didn’t respect me and I compromised. Even though I was seething deep down inside and she reluctantly followed my leadership.
Under any normal circumstances, I would have exited the relationship but I have children with this lady and so I choose to stay and try to work it out with her.
I have been watching your videos from time to time. My question I want to ask is. My ex of nearly 4 year basically monkey branch the moment she went to college. From
Being together everyday and spending time together. The day she left. She did it over a text and claim I was stupid. So I never called her again. Work on myself fir nearly 2 years and I look and feel better then the day she left me. Consistency hitting the gym and doing college. My ex gotten pregnant by the next guy within a year of them together. Even though I never beg her back. My question is. Why would someone monkey branch then run off to the sunset but a year of no contact she decided to send me a text message randomly but when I don’t respond she watches my social media. And she even conctact my younger siblings. My question is what the point of all that she is basically betray me. So why does she bother looking back?
Because she has low self esteem and figured she can reach out and use you as a back up option/ break glass in case of emergency and have you at her beck and call if she feels like she can suck you back in.
Unfaithful partners never return out of love or regret. Only to use and exploit you. Don’t let them.
Mine monkey branched with someone she plays Call of Duty with who lives in another state.
Been 8 months since I got monkey branched & still feel hurt , she was my sons mom
I’m sorry to hear that mate. Stay strong. Be the best dad you can be for your sons
What happened with your situation? I have two sons with my ex she said she was going to her brother's house but actually was seeing his roommate/best friend and moved the kids in with them two days after leaving my house. It's been four months
Happened to me last January with my son's mother...went for a guy with more $$$ while I was out working two jobs.... happy I didn't marry her. Look at it as a blessing. I lost 30 pounds, reconnected with family and friends and dating higher quality women...give them the breakup ..we deserve better. And always remember that sooner or later karma comes for us all.
My ex of 2.3 year broke with me and 5 days later she is with someone else
Another good one 👍
Thank you. I saw your email. Tomorrow I will respond to it.
Sometimes monkey branching can take years to set up.
I have changed the details in the following account but the main thrust of the account is true. This girl I was acquainted with dated 2 guys while keeping both in the dark about each other.
I am a guy from Singapore. I studied in a British university in the late 90s. During the term holidays of 8 weeks , I return to Singapore. During one such holiday , I got acquainted with this girl and her bf at a mutual friend’s party. She and her bf were studying in a different British university. Let call her Tina And her bf , Jim. Tina is from
Singapore and Jim is from Malaysia. At that point in time , they were a couple for about 6 months. Jim
And I were studying the same subject and we talked for a while.
The following term holidays , I ran into Tina again at a party but Jim was not around . I Asked And it turned out Jim would be in Malaysia and Tina would visit him on weekends. The next year , the same thing … i would see Tina at parties but not Jim. I graduated And started working . The next year Tina graduated and started working at the same company but she was in a different department. Jim was due to graduate the following year. I would see Tina around the building and asked about Jim every now and then. About 2 months after Tina came back to Singapore she told me not to ask about Jim anymore as they had broken up. I was surprised but did not press for details. The next year , I left for another company . One of my supervisors turned to be Tina’s new boyfriend . Let’s call the new bf Brad. It turned out that Tina was dating Brad long distance during the term holidays . They were dating long distance for 3 years !!! And they were engaged to be married !!That was why she would visit Jim in Malaysia instead of him coming to see her !
They say it takes 7 weeks to "fall in love" for women?
Love the videos ❤️
Another thing i learned after many heartaches and being vulnerable. When they give you the let's just be friends speech. Forcany given reason. Whether it's someone else in the picture or her losing attraction and feelings or she just got a lot of Life circumstances going on. You got two choices either walk away, or you be friends and you treat her like a friend. Have fun with it and start giving her fist bumps and side shoulder pats. Crack a few beers with her and burp. And farting back of her never fart in front of a lady! lol. Have fun with it. Take her to Monday Night Football and introduce them as a friend. Give her the Royal friends treatment and look elsewhere. Be imaginative and creative
When they give you the let’s just be friends speech you WALK AWAY.
@@RelearningRelationships So Im curious? What are your biblical reasons for walking away from that scenario? I tried for a week and I cant with this one. Even flat out told her if she changes her mind give me a call initially.
We both kind of caved, broke the silence and talked that aspect of it out a few weeks ago.
Shes very kind but very REAL and I love her dearly for who she is. Her intentions are very pure. I have to constantly remind myself though that its how a person shows up as of current.
Im just not sure if she has the potential at this moment in time to meet my needs....Maybe I was a little selfish for bringing it up on more than one occasion? She casually mentioned that maybe she was a little selfish for wanting a relationship with me when we started this last Oct. I thought good long and hard about what you said about how needs can be a place of selfish fulfillment. I have also thought good long and hard about the difference between love and limerace.
I like to think I've been given a special set of circumstances. We are very understanding and patience with absolute humility with each other and very supportive of one another.
What prompted the "lets just be friends and see where it goes speech" is there was a prior relationship we had for the last year. In the last 5 months I brought up our intimacy issues and her lack of presence and such due to all the legitimate stressors going on in her life. We are both out of a divorce. She is living at her parents saving for a home of her own. She has a lot of stressors and outside circumstances at work and home. Her sister's marriage is suddenly falling apart due to a cheating husband. Her fathers health is poor and he is manic mentally on a weekly basis due to work related illnesses (Pneumonia and mishandling of workmans comp from enployer.) and severe tension that is putting the family's home finances and stability on very rocky waters and circumstances which is forcing her to move very quickly to reestablish her stability and life. She will be in her own home by the end of this month. From what I gather. Despite some dysfunction (What family doesnt these days?) there. These are good people and well meaning people with charachter flaws like anyone else. This all transpired in the last two months.
Unless I am mistaken?I think I was given that speech possibly not due to monkey branching but due to lack of being able to fulfil my needs. (Believe me I looked for all the signs as Ive been through it and seen it many times in past relationships and marriage. I know the difference between pulling away for selfish reasons and pulling away for legitimate ones. As hard as I tried I really havent gathered any concrete evidence in behaviors. Changes yes some. Due to stressors outside of us. Also she has health issues reproductive related and other. I do too but it doesn't affect anything. She has PCOS and Fibroids amongst other things. We still talk every day or every other day still.
Im trying to remain grounded and balanced in reality too. I dont see any deceptions or half truths with this one. Its been a month since "the friends" conversation and Im ok with being friends for now since we both couldnt devote time to the relationship currently. I wasnt at first. But I made my intentions very clear that after a certain amount of time without applying any pressure on either of us. If I dont eventually start to see things redeveloping after the "dust of life" settles. and we arent working together torwards a relationship then I have to let her go.
Shockingly she told me that shes truly and genuinely sorry she couldnt meet my needs do to all the stressors going on and that she doesnt want to hold me back and that I deserve those things since I am a good and caring man and that Im free to explore my options and that she understands Im human and have needs and I deserve that. Im not willing to go there. I want to continue this for now even if it is plutonic. We both made it clear we are not going anywhere with each other. But yeah the relationship title and intimacy is gone for now. We spent some time together this weekend and will again this Friday. It was very nice and simple and relatable. First time Ive seen her since August
Im going to choose to be a little more patient for now. But what do you suggest? What is your insight?
@@bobbyscalchi4013 she’s not that into you, Werther it’s due to incompatibility or lack of physical attraction one thing remains clear, she has low enough self esteem to keep interacting with yogi whilst keeping her emotional investment at a minimal. Wether things are hard in her personal life or not, if she had strong enough desire for you she wouldn’t be making any excuses as to why she isn’t meeting your needs. Actions speak louder than words.
Walk away, find a woman that displays the same interest you do!
God bless you & good luck.
@@RelearningRelationships Yeah thats what Im seeing as of recently is the investing she put up a lot of in the last year went caput around August which triggered my red flags before that talk in Sept. I get what you are saying. Dont be an emotional tampon or therapist. I think things got too comfortable and complacent and run down on her side with life in the last few months. I see it in the way she dresses as of lately. Very frumpy. Earlier on she was trying harder not only to meet my needs but to keep me and my attention. I think life got to her amd now shes just realizing that she has to put herself first or there wont be anything left of her to give. I have my own issues too Im working on.
Normally I wouldnt let one ride it out this far for as long as I have but this one is very giving and Im not seeing manipulative behaviors. I think shes just tired. She has been pretty consistant in actions and words up until recently. As far as the compatibility. Well that depends on what area? Ive always felt the physical connection wasnt that strong from the jump on my side. Cerebral and personality wise though. Yes. Very much. Physical chemistry. Not so much. But I stuck with it to observe and see where the actions wouldnt match the words looking for inconsistencies and I cant find them. lol. Other than the physical affection I desire. But yeah. I am going to give it just a little more time and if I dont see things headed in the direction I want and need in all areas of what I consider a healthy relationship. Im going to walk away. I wont settle for breadcrumbs. I agree with you. The desire has diminished by her own mind, her own excuses, her own hands and her own efforts. I think there is mild moments of depression and despair on both our sides that waxes and wanes due to constant circumstantial stuff outside of us. Her efforts are slowly coming back but we will see. Im the one who is actually thawing. Im just giving this one a patient last chance because of all the things she has going on health wise and stress wise. We have been recently going on dates. Hugs are there. She baked me some cookies. Im not intentionally kissing her again until I know and see that shes ready for it if shes ready for it. Im not shy at all in "that department" quite the opposite actually and Im VERY GOOD at it. They all know it. Im giving her two months to get her life and herself in order and place me back on the priority list when it comes to physical affection and romantical time spent or I am definately walking away because I do deserve to have all my needs met in all areas. I do deserve to grow and not remain stagnant. In my life or anyone else's.
Thanks for the prompt reply.
Just walk away now.
Thanks
Is her not showing me her phone a red flag?
Depends why your asking to see her phone. Is your birthday coming around the corner and she’s hiding her phone so you can’t see the present she ordered ?Unless there’s a reason such as that… then you might want to wonder why she’s hiding it
Does this apply the other way around also?
Absolutely. It applies to men and women alike.
@@RelearningRelationships thank you. Defo men out her like this too!😓 And you for sure ain't one of them! 😉🤗💜
Thank you :)
If you ever want to reach out and share your story or ask any questions you know where to find me: coachchristiankoziol@gmail.com
@@RelearningRelationships Thank you so much 🤗💜
My ex monkeybranched to another guy 2 times. One time I accepted her back, for me is very dificult to forget her because Im feeling that its my fault. Why because we were in 3 years of long distance relationship we never met phisicaly well i know it sounds stupid but, It was hard to meet. My question is wheres the problem? That she is just a monkeybrancher? and would have left me even if i was with her or she did these monkeybranchings because I never met her? Whos fault it is? If I accept this girl (single mother of 3 kids) as a dishonest person? Or the fault is mine and if we were together she would never do this to me?
Why would you even date a single mother of 3 kids in the first place?. Raise your standards
@@RelearningRelationships Well because I was thinking like this: Well yes she has kids and maybe she learned to live tough, she learned from her mistakes and now wants to create a strong family. Also I tought that when you give your respect and accept the person with his dificulties that would matter something to him. I am too honest person and fell for the trap. I was believing in her honesty. But now my eyes are opened. Anyways to heal faster I want to know was this my fault not meeting her or it was her fault and she would do this no matter what? Thank you for your work and your responses!!!
She had children with a different man. Why would you lower yourself to be with a woman like that when you can do so much better! This is her own choice. If she’s a cheater then that is 100% on her!
If you’re serious about starting your OWN FAMILY then you must choose a woman who is single, emotionally available and prepared to be a wife and mother.
In my program I teach men exactly how to weed out immoral women and properly identify an honourable woman, etc.
If you want to learn how to master relationships righteously; then book a free call with me and we can discuss all the details of the program:www.relearningrelationships.com/
@@RelearningRelationships Thank you very much for your answer! I really dodged a bullet it seems.
hmmmm.... what were you expecting dating a 23year old girl while being a 31 year old man who has his life figured out? of course the maturity is not there yet, am I the only one who is concerned he is dating a much younger girl?
The age gap will always be a problem. That’s why younger women will either use an older man for stability or safety. Never for genuine motives. It is a problem.
So I spent 10 minutes writing out a comment. Basically about how watching your videos have helped me get two crazy women out of my life, the comment post is up for 30 seconds and is gone. You just lost a subscriber.
The RUclips algorithm picks up on certain key words that become censored automatically when you write and post them.
It’s not my fault that RUclips deleted your “ comment within 30 seconds”, might I add, I didn’t even see your comment due to the fact that RUclips deleted it instantly.
Perhaps you can be patient and ask questions before jumping to conclusions.
@@RelearningRelationships completely clean as if I was talking to my grandmother in church, no profanity. Punctuation in all the right places, correct grammar. Basically saying, that while I was cleaning out the closet I ran across some of the ex-wife let's call her Sharolyn, paperwork from the last time I got her out of the mental institution/drug rehab center. That was in May of this year, Where she spent the first two days screaming call my husband Jim. That's all they could get out of her. And like an idiot I got her out again. Her paperwork shows that some guy named Clayton as her significant other. Clayton is a heroin junkie that lives in a cardboard box under a bridge. So when she called again from The nut House again. Where she has been since June. And calling me five six times a day want me to get her out and how much she loves me, I confronted her on that. Explain to her, I finally have documented proof that you have been playing me for a sucker all these years because I can get you out of those facilities. Why don't you call Clayton, and leave me alone, you blew it you took advantage of my kindness and took it for weakness. And blocked her number. Crazy woman number one out of my life. And how on Friday, Rhonda who monkey branched on me. Celebrated her 47th birthday, and I didn't bother to call, text, or even acknowledge she existed. Last year the guy she monkey branched on me with gave her the half drank can of beer he was drinking as a birthday present. Where I gave her a half dozen little presents plus cash. Crazy woman number two out of my life. Didn't even send pictures of her cat turning 6 months old on her birthday. I got stuck with the cat. So I think I am getting better. My fascination with Rhonda was she isn't Sharolyn. Rhonda does not do methamphetamines. And finding a woman in this neighborhood that doesn't do methamphetamines is like seeing a unicorn.
. If you have any questions you can always ask me. Never assume I delete comments.
I’m really glad to see you stood up for yourself and found your strength! You did the right thing to block her!
@@RelearningRelationships okay yeah I jumped to conclusions and assumed, but right now I'm at that point where I don't trust anything. Resubscribed, my bad. I think it's having to wear this mask I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain anymore.
I hate wearing the masks too. No worries, we all make mistakes and have bad moments. Stay strong and keep your head up high.
Monkey branching is a biological natural option for women. Is a tiger evil for trying to eat you? No that is what the tiger does. Feed the tiger regularly it won’t bite you.
Give the woman resources and holidays and shopping sprees and then less chance of monkey branching.
I don’t do this and won’t do this. But if you want a long term relationship then play this ridiculous game.
You need to get help. It is not a biological option for women. Both men and women suffer at the hands of unfaithful partners. Saying “ all women are the same” is no different then a feminist saying “ all men cheat”. It’s simply not true.
There are plenty of great women out there with genuine hearts.
If you’re bitter or angry because your marriage or relationship failed because you choose the wrong woman, that is on you. Choose a traditional, feminine woman. Don’t blame the entire opposite gender because of a bad experience you had.
Good women will honour you and care for you, never use you, whereas gold diggers, cheaters, narcs, immature women, girls with unresolved trauma and promiscuous women will cause you emotional damage every single time.
If you believe men and women should remain divided as per toxic Mgtow and feminist beliefs then go right ahead and wallow in your own misery.
Do not comment things that mislead or hurt honest men & women.
That's the spiritual beauty about the human species. Human have a choice. They have intuition, logic and rstional thinking. And we as human beings can also control our thoughts and actions. It depends on what we choose to believe in. You can believe in loyalty and you will never monkey branch. Especially not for money or vacations that you could have with somebody else than your partner.
But if you wanna choose materialism over spiritual connection, than have good luck with that. There is a higher entity, that is going to make sure you will get the right consequences for your actions. Never underestimate the power of something higher then us human beings.