Dave is proof that it would never work with a narcissist even if you cater to them 1000/1000. Dave is the biggest empath I’ve ever seen, the man is almost mythical, but very real.
When my ex left the first time and married someone after a few months, I had no idea what a narcissist was. So when she came back 6 months later, I was so happy. I supported her for 5 yrs, but once I couldn't afford to pay her bills, she left. I was so hurt and confused. Thank God for your channel bc once I knew what she was, I could finally start healing. Her new person is the exact opposite of me, I so hope his empathy and generosity are too, and she realizes what a mistake she made.
Yep. You were a means to an end. Glad you got out brother! When you see red flags test them to see if it's a consistent response. & Leave when it is. You can't fix these people. They never see an issue with their behavior.
They say they do regret, but it is not like a normal person. Their regret never leads to making amends or learning from mistakes. Their regret makes their anger and rage worse and they keep sinking further into darkness.
Wow your situation sounds exactly like mine. She told me she needed a break and focus on church. Then she comes back after 2 months and found out she got married but kept denying it until I found her new husbands social media with their wedding pics. I blocked her on everything.
@ninerlen they just can not tell the truth, it's disgusting. Just found out that she got engaged after only 3 months. Another sucker...so embarrassing!
It feels Bad, really Bad. My ex I thought was my Best Friend. We used to cook and clean together, Go grocery shopping together, watch tv together. Then the mask fell completely off I would tease and ask if he was cheating. He always was cheating, causing me to fight with people I didn't know. Telling me they were stalking him It Sucks. I was used. In a bad way!! You feel foolish and Nieve I don't bounce from person to person. I can't. Makes me physically ill.
But narcissists have no problem bouncing from person to person. He was involved with me, while going through divorce from his ex-wife. Then he ghosted because I told him he needs to sort crap out with his soon to be ex. He immediately found a replacement, married chick at work. He eventually used her as a pawn to get back at me. These people are truly evil and have no problems using people to achieve their goals!
This just reminds me how my narc called me everyday after work on his drive home for 8. 5 years and at the end of discard I would call him to talk and he said “I gotta go, I want to listen to music” yea sure! That’s what you want to do
Many people have the traits but don’t have a pattern resulting in a disorder. This is why people don’t understand narcissism. When you are being abused you will know. This story is tough to hear and the stories out there are mind blowing. My ex narc literally brought home a stranger twice. It was beyond weird. She didn’t not know the person met her at the 7/11 and said hey you should come home to my house. I kicked the stranger out and of course we got into a huge fight. I mean I can’t make this shit up.
@@simjam1980 Yep me too, it was all about me and my jealousy whilst in front of me at work he would flirt with co-workers and often the service users we worked with, I mean to be flirting with service users who are mentally ill!! He was the service user!!
Its so astonishing! To go from 10 texts per hour each day to total radio silence when that discard is about to kick in and you're just sitting there questioning wth have i done ? Questioning yourself. We still looking inward at that point , trying to people please the narcissist all the while they're involved in a whole different life that you had no clue even existed! Trying to explain this stuff to people who have no clue about these sorts of relationships and listening to their response can actually harm your recovery! This includes family members too 😮😮its just so difficult!
My second narc ex put me through the same thing while she was in jail. Since I knew (or thought I knew) her years ago, I placed her upon this big pedestal, since she was telling me all the things I wanted to hear from her years before, while she was all that time using the money I would send her, and lining up all her other members of her harem garage for when she was released. One week after she had a friend bring her up to see me at last, and seeing how I was living, struggling, instead of making any arrangements to help me, like I helped her for two years while she sat in jail, no. She took the last $140 she would ever get from me, made fun of the dress and the silver necklace I bought her, because it didn't compare to the 4 carat diamond engagement ring she had on her hand. A week later, she cut me off all communication, and that was it. She was rearrested six times for drug manufacturing, distributing and prostitution.
It's exactly like that how you described it , to nothing like the it never ever existed , the trauma bond on it and try to explain it to family members and loved ones don't really understand it and how can they ? No one can only survivours of the same tragic outcome of having a Narc in their life can understand so use these communities, can really recommend Andrews and Jess channel to , hang on strong and use these communities to heal from inside with Support in a topic which is the hardest pain ever to happend to a human soul , stay strong and educate yourself and always beileve in yourself in this , stay strong everyone and take care of yourself ✨
Fortunate new supply's end up on these videos after dealing with a narcissist to know what they were really dealing with. Hey look at us! We were all new supply's once. Blessed to be getting this knowledge some just stay on that demonic hamster wheel. I believe Dave you call them Ms B's.
Thanks as always for sharing your story Dave. I was hurt when I was discarded by the narcissist, but the discard was actually a blessing in disguise. My relationship with Jesus is better than it’s ever been. I have joy in my soul that I’ve never felt before. I have no doubt in my mind that I will meet the right person someday. However, I’m in no hurry. Peace is priceless. And I have a lot to learn about narcissism. Thanks again for your testimony and shedding light on these awful spirits.
@@amyt7378 Hi Amy! I'm 7 months no contact!!! I don't know exactly what month/the timeframe in which I started feeling better/the joy...but I can share with you what helped me. First, I understood that although this person "appears" to have it all together, they are empty and broken inside. Because they're empty, they have nothing good to offer. Nothing but false promises, games, lies, & heartache. The average person has gone back to the narcissist at least once. Ask yourself...did anything change? Was there a "positive" impact on your life? Imagine pouring your love into a selfish, bottomless pit of nothing over & over again. Not to be harsh..but that's exactly what it is. We can give our best but they will still tear it down..nothing will ever be good enough. We had good intentions, but they did not. Second, but most importantly...I pray...often. I poured my heart and tears out to God. When I truly understood God and how He only has good intentions for me/us, I began to dive deeper into His word and His promises. One of his promises I encourage you to read is Isaiah 43:18-21. Third, over time I limited how often I watched narc-related videos. Gaining the knowledge is very helpful, but for me..I noticed feelings of anger and sadness would creep in again. So, I "try" not to watch them on a daily basis. I also watch videos by Trailblazer and Grace for Purpose. Lastly, I forgave myself. Although the relationship didn't turn out as I hoped & resulted in heartache...it was a lesson well learned. Be thankful you were able to get out of it. I hope that you stay out. Pray for strength. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. YOU DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED. Be patient. Heal. And don't give up on love. Meanwhile, take that trip that you've always thought about. Buy yourself flowers that you like. Pamper yourself. Get a mani/pedi. Get some much needed sleep/rest. Enjoy the peace. I know this was long...but I hope it helped. Stay strong. You've got this! Oh! one more thing..another channel I recommend is PinkGirlTeaches. Have a wonderful evening AmyT.
When a narcissist is ready to leave you, there's nothing you can do to keep them,not even threatening to take your own life, because they've already planned another life without you
Yes, that's the hurtful point, they already have moved on with someone else, Before you even realize there was an issue. They have already discarded you and moved on....they also don't have the ability to naturally bond with people which is why they can so quickly go to another person and new lifestyle without thinking of you at all! Not human. You deserve to lose them and be with a human who has empathy.
You said, they wont lay in bed with you. This is so true. My ex would jump immediately after sex and run to the bathroom. EVERY single time. Left me feeling empty, unloved and confused. After a while I got annoyed and mentioned it and told him how it made me feel. After that night, he avoided me sexually for 3 months until discard.
The covert narcissist I was involved with told me that he never laid in the same bed with any of his many women he’s been with. When he wouldn’t even cuddle with me after sex, I knew I could not be with someone like that long term.
@@kindheart9676 Yup! Absolutely! Sex with him was robotic, boring. He was like a cold fish that expected me to give him pleasure, but never putting an effort to pleasure me in return. No reciprocity whatsoever!
The silent treatment is their immediate go to to get the upperhand and its disgusting also she started the drinking and then she says you drink too much, so this could have been premeditated. Not giving the address is again control and wanted to be stalked because thats fuel
I did and went through it exactly how you did Dave! I fought so hard to save that marriage. She had me convinced I was te problem. I drank a lot back then too, but she loved that about me in the beginning. I completely quit drinking during that time. I was too hurt and depressed to drink. I tried so hard to fix everything about me, and I did really, but that was still not enough. No one understood what I was going through and I was stuck in that awful place for over 3 years, until I finally moved 1000 miles away and blocked her from everything. That's when I was finally able to let go and heal. It's been 10 years ago now, and my life has become better than I ever dreamed possible!! My heart goes out to all who are just beginning this horror. It gets better I promise! The sooner you let go, the less damage will be done and you will heal much faster!! ❤
When I was giving him time, he was busy with someone else. Another spot on video!! I didn't check up on him much because I wanted him to not feel suffocated or anything. He went from making me feel like there was something wrong with me when I would be quiet and in=trospective. He saw it as neglect, abuse, and he made it seem like I was unstable if I could go from being very chatty to quiet but I needed down time. I thought he would never hurt me the way he did and so coldly. Now he has the audacity to want for me to be friends with his new partner as if our relationship was nothing. I realize this is for triangulation and to undermine our relationship. Funny thing is, his new partner is open to us being friends. Not sure what to make of that but maybe she just has no boundaries which is perfect for him. She is totally different than me looks wise and everything else I suppose. The more different their new supply is, the more shiny the object looks to them I presume.
It’s so difficult to see them change right before your eyes & then realize it was all a show! Then watch them move on like you were nothing, I hope karma eventually comes for them & doesn’t loose their address!
Glad the varmint is gone. He’d be afraid of me if he met me today under the same circumstances. The glory of God obliterates the soul ties. Trust Him and pray from the scriptures “Father God you said by your stripes we are healed and I claim and decree that”. Trust Him and mean it when you pray it. It works, Hallelujah!🙏🕊❤️
So true. I thought my husband had MPD until I learned of Narcissism and realized he is a covert narcissist. I could not understand why the disconnect, lack of empathy and inability to be intimate, to lay in bed and cuddle watching a movie or just talking. They have no depth, only shallow emotions and everything is only cognitively processed. We empaths crave deep bonding and a heart to heart connection.
Craig thanks for enlightning us, it has been almost three years since I was discarded. This year narc text Happy New year I did not respond. Then in March I got the hi stranger text, thanks to you I did not fall in the trap of thinking he had a moment if reckoning. I remember crying so hard in my car when I realized the entire thing was fake. It took a lot of prayer and your videos now he is nothing to me.
I recently hit 4 years divorced, 4 years and 4 months no contact - but that doesn't mean he won't attempt a hoover in the future. Some of these freaks wait many, many years before they try. I think mine is one of those that will wait a really long time, but I'm ready for whenever that happens. There's only 1 reason why it may not happen: 1. They croak before they get the chance (I could only hope and pray this is the case).
Cheers Dave! ☕️ No $hit! My greatest weakness was zero knowledge about BPD, NPD, etc. Bi-polar sure. Heard about that through some acquaintances but very few. Nothing made sense after 20 year marriage until 60 days after the discard. Key terms she used to communicate never heard before then I looked them up which led me to BPD and NPD. That was my oh $hit moment. Then the nail in the coffin. She was clinically diagnosed with Cluster B - BPD - Covert / Malignant NPD and much much more. Excruciatingly painful experience and where I was once blind I now see. Thank you for your channel. Appreciate your contribution to this subject matter. Peace ✌️
I remembered how my ex narshole had eyes like a dead shark. I poured my heart out to him confessing my feelings and he had a blank stare, as if he was void of a heart and soul. It didn’t matter how intimate we were, I always felt a deep emptiness whenever we were intimate and I couldn’t bond with him. He ghosted me on more than 1 occasion only to hoover me again 2 weeks later at most when I got too sentimental. He hated my emotions and when I opened my heart to him, he would disappear. I’m so happy to be free from all that mind fuckery. Yes, it hurts to think that I loved someone who wasn’t even a real human and never reciprocated my love. Stay No Contact.
My Narc did the exact same thing she looked right trough me with eyes like she were somewhere else probably in thoughts of the guy she cheated with , talking emotions ,giving emotions felt like she hated it . The thing with the eyes and empty stare is something I heard from many survivours, it's a dark empty soul inside them and the eyes sometimes drops the mask in that too revealing that empty black stare . Stay strong everyone and continue to work on yourself to heal your souls , it will take time and never ever give them a second chance , i did that misstake and that discard will come sooner and more brutal the second time around and really mess your soul to near exstintion , please never ever give a second change cant underline that enough , stay safe and strong everyone ✨
You are absolutely right about the list. My 20 year marriage ended with a list. She pretented to come back and try for about 4 months before the final discard. Her list had thing that benefited her like a new car, laptop, breast implants. I guess she was going to try and get a come up before leaving me. I'm glad I didn't fall for it. After she left I found a list of pros and cons of me, on the cons list she had a list of problems with our house. Somehow the houses shortcomings are my cons.
This video certainly resonates with me Dave... Being brutally discarded after giving your partner 100 percent of your energy and time and really loving that person is really cruel and leaves you in a state of shock for a long time. You were made to feel this person needed you and that you were equally important to them, that they loved you too. The discard is literally seeing a different person to the one they portrayed to be..how can they move on so quickly after spending 5 years with you and just cast you aside like you just don't exist anymore, it really is so very hard to understand. Friends and family just don't understand and can sometimes make you feel worse when they say just move on!!..you really loved that person and your hopes and dreams have been shattered with such an abrupt end...It really does feel like a death , your grieving what you thought you had. When you genuinely loved that person it's impossible to move on within a few weeks. It's exhausting and your self esteem is rock bottom after being discarded.The anxiety is crippling at times . The breakup feels like no other that you have ever experienced. So hard to explain to people who haven't experienced a relationship with someone who has a NPD...They are also 100 miles per hour within the relationship, never truly relaxing to be with, never read a book, never stop from the moment they wake , even on weekends it is full steam ahead... Doing everything they want to do. Mini discards if you stand up for yourself. A very surreal experience and a lesson nobody deserves to learn... Getting the knowledge and education about NPD has helped so much so thank you Dave❤
Everything you said I completely 100% feel and went through. I’ve been 3.5 months no contact and it’s better, but still the cognitive dissonance and trauma bond is there. It makes me mad I just want to be done grieving! Grr.
Dave, I discarded him after 5 years, and ALMOST dying. He can't find me! 12 years has gone by. I changed my phone #, I moved, I'm off of Social Media, and NO FLYING MONKEYS! He had NO friends. I think I'm safe. I even planned an "accidental" meeting. If I ever see him, I just ignore him, keep walking, and if he follows, just keep walking while not saying one word!
I met covert narcissist at the store after 5 years of no contact. He was looking at me intently, while I pretended not to notice him. We literally went face to face. He stopped at he opposite side of the store to check me out. I’m glad, I was strong and kept going without giving him an opportunity to talk to me. It’s going to be a privilege to talk to me for the rest of his life. After the abuse he put me through, he’ll never gain that privilege back. Ever!
@IrishaTexas Irisha, that was smart! I plan on just keep walking, like I said when I shared, and if he follows me, I just keep walking. I'd love to punch him, but I'm too intelligent for that! 👍
Thankyou Dave, it’s upsetting u have been through the mill it’s shocking what u experienced. To listen to what u have shared is as if your talking about what I’ve been through. It’s so calculated and even with their false mask u just can’t get passed their falseness of emotions until u are given the worst to see it. I feel so sorry for u with what u encountered. They definitely love the drink, one bottle leads to several in one night. Mine was a alcoholic and they definitely hook u into their habits only to inflict blame shifting on us as if we have the habit. As soon as u get away alcohol seems to just disappear. So many times mine chorused with marriage and kids and the triangulation., It got to me so much. The damage they inflict is diabolical. It’s like a constant pain and worst is when the desperation hits to stay with them. Until u get to that point where your away from them in silence and distance u start to find your pain eases more. Your experience is such an insight thankyou so much Dave. Your amazing.
Yep! He began bringing alcohol home regularly and asking if I wanted a drink. When I said no thank you he would get mad at me because I wouldn’t like him drinking by himself 🤔 just all so weird.
I am a 5 properties (multi unit) real estate investor and personal trainer and charge high. And she got with a cop lmaooo. Stranger = shinier new toy 💯 !!!!!!! Why the downgrade because she knew I was coming on way too strong calling her out on her bullshit
It's like dealing with robots who have the same operating manual. Health Professionals say 3-7% of the population are narcissists or psychopaths (sometimes both). Sometimes it seems more like 80% of the population, right?
How profoundly revelatory. Seems I'm " the neanderthal that fell in love with a demon"! Today the shackles are broken; let the hoover begin! After 5 years NO MAS! Thanks for your work Dave!
I was treated the exact same way, I was left high and dry. No reason then the hatred towards me. Definitely no bond they need the excitement all the time the good life the money. The minute you say no or have an opinion of your own on something. They see this as a sign your not conforming to the person they saw you at the start of the relationship. Remember you gave up everything for them and now your showing signs of having a mind of your own. They are one tracked robots chasing the good life and been the centre of attention.
"They just need a warm body" Yup. That sums it up and makes me nauseous as an Empath. My husband said he faked loving me as his wife for 12 years. Such a mess
Hi Dave So accurate I didn't even know what a trauma bond was till... its awful I was drinking heavy with narc and smoking lol.. now not swimming walking and church singles not so bad ❤😂😊
Good afternoon, Dave. Great video. I am hesitant to comment candidly about my personal experiences (based on the troll comment I got earlier this week when sharing). I've dealt with years of trauma being dealt me by narcissists, as a disabled male, having nothing to offer. I can relate to your situation in a way, because I was so happy (especially with narc #2) because she was my first crush for years ago, and we had finally reconnected after ten years of hell from my first relationship. I tend to place those on a "pedestal" because of the simple fact they're willing to accept me as I am with all the disabilities, trauma and lack. But up until I started following your page five years ago, I never really knew what narcissistic abuse and gaslighting is, even though I lived through all of it. In a way I'm glad that the whole Johnny Depp trial came forward to shine a spotlight on men who are abused in relationships for years by narcissists. In my case, having life long disabilities, I didn't have free choices as to whom I would be with, because I have nothing to offer in a typical relationship. Now, knowing what I do, my best option and choice is staying alone. To do otherwise subjects me to more loss and mental and physical abuse. Having said that, I have to say I'm sorry, but I no longer believe in love. I gave my all in both relationships and got nothing back but loss and abuse.
I don't know where they are but I believe they have to be out there somewhere. If we can be good people and other pages are full of people standing for their marriages, there must be good women somewhere
@@Narcologyunscripted true, Dave. I look at it this way: my sharing my honest experiences in my post ferreted out a narcissist among the group. When dealing with narcissists, and I'm sure we have had plenty of experience, it's like Mom used to say in her Cherokee wisdom: "You pass by a junkyard and see a group of dogs huddled around each other. You throw a stick over the fence, and the dog you hit will holler the loudest" That's what happened the other day here.
I don't believe in love anymore either. With today's society with the social media, dating apps, and the NPD/APD epidemics - you have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding an honest, genuine person who wants true love.
Have faith that God is love and because He is, love still exists. That person is out there. I have never seen it or experienced it either, but I know it exists. Set yourself up for love to enter. Heal first. Stop reading negative social media posts on love Surround yourself with only positive media and aspects of love to drown out the negative. I am not saying lie to yourself or become naive. I just mean when its negative , stop it in tracks from poisoning your mind
The record for my narc's total phone calls in one day was 39 times in 6 hrs... N there was another time when we were fighting, I was ignoring him bc he was being cruel... He left 63 texts in a row bc he would do this thing where he would write one word in each text at a time, I remember that particular time he was leaving ones like this : Stop Ignoring Me Answer My Phone Calls Or Mssg Me Back Damn You ------------ And yeah, you think they're doing all of this bc they need you or love you so much, if it was being done by anyone else in this manner, you'd call it harassment... It perplexed me to no end bc this was a regular thing during that 5 yrs unless he was devaluing n discarding me or ghosting me for days at a time...
I was 7 years physically sober when I met the Narc. He was many more years than me. I was dt a vulnerable point. Maybe he was also it is difficult to know. He used slot of AA lingo and recovery talk to suck me it. It actually helped me on one level. In other words he acted like a sponsor would. I fell for him very hard very quickly and then it turned sour overnight. Thankfully I did not sleep with him. Your videos really helped me in the getting over this awful scenario. I came to believe that he was either a narc or at least strongly narcissistic. He invited me to try again 18 months after we split. I walked away!!!!!😊
Dave, once again SO spot on! Every time I need a boost I watch one of your vids. This one in particular about the narcissistic friends and the narc wanting to get going early on a Sunday really hit the nail on the head. I’m seeing narc traits in a lot of my friends post-discard, especially about them not seeming to care about what I’ve been through lately. As soon as the convo starts going in that direction they either stop replying or change the topic. Pretty disappointing but it makes me treasure my true friends even more ❤️
this is absolutely mind blowing - understanding that what they gave you was a mask and unreal, is just something that is so hard to let go of. he was absolutely everything i needed and discarded me like i was absolutely nothing. wow. god bless us and give us a healthy relationship in 2024.
I was married to a narcissist for nearly four years. I didn't know what a narcissist or gaslighting was . I know now ! I had no idea ! I also can say I've truly saw a demon I'm glad I got out before she took my life
Took him back 23 times in 15 yrs😳now haven’t seen him or spoke in 4 yrs except in court. An yes I didn’t know that he was a narcissist so I was incapable of understanding but I knew something was wrong! I ended up telling him to get out for the last time an I divorced him so now I’m being punished!! I don’t believe he will ever return because he pays for his sex an all relationship are on his terms! Goodbye!!!
You took the words right out of my mouth every word you said I live through I needed to know why why one day I was everything in the next day I was nothing how about how that can just happen I found my answers it was narcissism spent two years healing found forgiveness as myself and them and that's when I found my freedom
IF A RESIDENT OF NC OR ANY STATE, TV IS YOURS!!!!! I LIVED IN A SHELTER FOR THREE YEARS, COULDN'T AFFORD TO MOVE, DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN TORMENT!!!! KEPT RENT PAID, HIDE MONEY FOR RENT??? THIS WAS MY EXISTENCE
My ex-husband of 15 years had malignant narcissistic traits only with me, the mother of his three kids, and the oldest being quadriplegic. My boyfriend of 4.5 is full blown 200 percent covert narcissist. Its not until my boyfriend ghosted me and gave me the silent treatment after a small fight, that I asked the Lord to show me who he was. My immediate impression in my mind after that prayer was the word narcissist. I looked it up, and I had so much clarity and understanding for once in my life. I realized not only that my ex-husband was a narcissist, my boyfriend too, and 77 year old father is also a major malicious grandiose narcissist too. The Bible says, All things work together for good for those who love God. Romans 8:28. I trust that what I went through fortified me as a prayer warrior and child of God, but also will equip me to help others open their eyes to this evil around us.
That's funny! She said YOU are drinking too much?!!!! ......mine did the same thing with beer and I don't drink, but SHE is an alcoholic with TWO DWIs!!
Dave this speaks so much to me it basically happened to me but we had a child together ! Thank you so much for your channel brother sending love from the uk
10:49 Yes. He could never "cuddle" in bed or just chill. It was robotic intimacy then he just abruptly left the bed without a word. 😅 such soulless "people".... demons...
The amount of disgust and mistreatment she gave me after 1 1/2 years was soul crushing. She became a completely different person. I felt she enjoyed hurting me while I was desperately trying to save our relationship. After that she discarded me like used kleenex. That was almost 3 years ago. To this day I’m struggling to fully recover. I’m better now but a part of me miserably died. Hard to imagine to fall in love ever again after this.
Dave I went through this too - we were in our little bubble of beer, spirits, and smokes - nothing else mattered we were in love, and then one day out of the blue although it was a gradual blue he projected onto me that I needed space after instigating a disagreement. I was left confused from this gaslighting moment and was left to believe I was the one who was unable to be emotionally open with him. This was about 1 year into the 3yr relationship and I was willing to do whatever it took to be able to be with him. The future faking began when at the beginning he promised we would look for a house together, so after 1 year it had never happened and the excuse was "I need to Heal" from my past traumas in order to be ready to set up a home together. At this point I knew something was going on, I didn't know there was a harem garage back then but I do now - I believe he reconnected with an ex who I think lived in our town and then all the I (me) need space conversation kept re-circling so he could go off and rekindle his old ex-flame. Thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry you went through that… I was recently discarded, but I’m blaming myself. I struggle with PTSD from a previous relationship. I had a lot of anxiety and attacks in the relationship with the man who told me he loved me. Out of nowhere, no talking, no anything, I came home and he was gone. Completely ghosted. We were living together for three years. When I met him he wanted to get married instantly and told me he can be there for me with my PTSD/OCD and would never leave me. After he left, I took full accountability, apologized, offered to change, started treatment, and reached out. He told me that even if I changed, he would never want anything to do with me again and he’s already looking for others. I know I messed up because I wasn’t taking care of myself mentally, but how could someone go from caring so much to not caring at all? Could this be similar to narcissism? Sometimes I feel like I was narcissistic. It’s all a blur.
I didn’t chase after her because it’s simple whatever she is chasing it’s fools gold I had the same thing presented itself to me and I entertained it but, didn’t fall for it and I told her don’t trade places with me but, she got hooked so that’s on her I’ll die for you but not with you
I feel I was reverse engineered by her. What a terrible 3 year waist of time. One year later the bending until being broken still causes self embarrassment.
There is absolutely no way she's coming back because I called her a covert narcissist and wrote her a detailed letter explaining why she has a personality disorder and is a burden to be around. Shes injured. She is sending flying monkeys. & I'm out here living my best life baby! People who have a learning disorder for emotional empathy are a burden to deal with. I just laugh at them. 😂
He’s not coming back. He doesn’t want me to win at anything. I told him when I left that I hated him. I never want to hear from him again. No phone calls or texts. He just stood there and I left.
... unbelievable that ex. covert narcissist can come back in my life... coz I'm barely recovering from that time 18 years & half he been in my life & I don't know if I ever will recover... I'm very sad, depressed & unmotivated person... I don't want any type of sex... I only go to work like a robot as forever cleaner & for shopping, to church... but I have no motivation to tidy, organise my house... I leave that for my 3adult kids... so I suggest I'm not recovered from abuse & fake happiness memories with ex. narc... only God can fix my pain... maybe I never recover from this... I just know I can't accept him back coz that day will be my funeral day, I think I will die emotionally with last crumbs of my "recovered" brain... or Lord will strike me to death as thunder... or my anointing will kill me... so I don't fancy any narcissist in my life... repenting person of sins, breaking curses, going through deliverance for rest of my life its OK for me... 🤔👀🇬🇧🏡🦁🐑👑🔥💨✨
He came back 28yrs later. Divorced, bankruptcy, his grown children didn't speak to him. I believe 2 are narcissist. Cruel mean adults. I gave them each 100 for Christmas. They shamed me for this. He mastered the art of mental abuse. Incredible. He discarded me 5 days after a vacation together. We had a blast, then out of the blue totally unexpected, he went into a rage over the phone. Calling me Lots wife!? He never spoke to me like this. The mask came off. 8 months wasted. He told me he is with a woman half his age and will give him more children. I am gobsmacked. He then called me a kiss ass? 💋 almost funny, still a horrific embarrassment
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Dave, the narc I'm "not with" was /is seeing 20 different guys now
Yeah, they love to play house til it becomes a madhouse, knowing the Narc cannot love.
Dave is proof that it would never work with a narcissist even if you cater to them 1000/1000. Dave is the biggest empath I’ve ever seen, the man is almost mythical, but very real.
Falling in love with the demon. There you go.
When my ex left the first time and married someone after a few months, I had no idea what a narcissist was. So when she came back 6 months later, I was so happy. I supported her for 5 yrs, but once I couldn't afford to pay her bills, she left. I was so hurt and confused. Thank God for your channel bc once I knew what she was, I could finally start healing. Her new person is the exact opposite of me, I so hope his empathy and generosity are too, and she realizes what a mistake she made.
She knows she fucked up but she will never admit it, you know what’s up and stay strong
Yep. You were a means to an end. Glad you got out brother! When you see red flags test them to see if it's a consistent response. & Leave when it is. You can't fix these people. They never see an issue with their behavior.
They say they do regret, but it is not like a normal person. Their regret never leads to making amends or learning from mistakes. Their regret makes their anger and rage worse and they keep sinking further into darkness.
Wow your situation sounds exactly like mine. She told me she needed a break and focus on church. Then she comes back after 2 months and found out she got married but kept denying it until I found her new husbands social media with their wedding pics. I blocked her on everything.
@ninerlen they just can not tell the truth, it's disgusting. Just found out that she got engaged after only 3 months. Another sucker...so embarrassing!
It feels Bad, really Bad.
My ex I thought was my Best Friend.
We used to cook and clean together,
Go grocery shopping together, watch tv together. Then the mask fell completely off
I would tease and ask if he was cheating.
He always was cheating, causing me to fight with people I didn't know.
Telling me they were stalking him
It Sucks. I was used. In a bad way!!
You feel foolish and Nieve
I don't bounce from person to person.
I can't. Makes me physically ill.
They're diabolical❤️
Just like a kid thinking someone cares about him that much. Sick self
But narcissists have no problem bouncing from person to person. He was involved with me, while going through divorce from his ex-wife. Then he ghosted because I told him he needs to sort crap out with his soon to be ex. He immediately found a replacement, married chick at work. He eventually used her as a pawn to get back at me. These people are truly evil and have no problems using people to achieve their goals!
I relate,I'm in this mess currently after 12 years of marriage. So very painful
Yep the triangulation n tne smear it hurtful along with them lying n twisting things n always blaming Otr people
When you said, "Stop waiting for the narcissist. I know you love her," I just about lost it. You do know Dave. It is worse than dying.
This just reminds me how my narc called me everyday after work on his drive home for 8. 5 years and at the end of discard I would call him to talk and he said “I gotta go, I want to listen to music” yea sure! That’s what you want to do
Many people have the traits but don’t have a pattern resulting in a disorder. This is why people don’t understand narcissism. When you are being abused you will know. This story is tough to hear and the stories out there are mind blowing. My ex narc literally brought home a stranger twice. It was beyond weird. She didn’t not know the person met her at the 7/11 and said hey you should come home to my house. I kicked the stranger out and of course we got into a huge fight. I mean I can’t make this shit up.
That’s absolutely cracked, what in the world!
If my ex did this and we fought about it, she would somehow flip it around and shame me for being jealous and insecure. It's truly mind blowing.
@@simjam1980 Yep me too, it was all about me and my jealousy whilst in front of me at work he would flirt with co-workers and often the service users we worked with, I mean to be flirting with service users who are mentally ill!! He was the service user!!
Its so astonishing! To go from 10 texts per hour each day to total radio silence when that discard is about to kick in and you're just sitting there questioning wth have i done ? Questioning yourself. We still looking inward at that point , trying to people please the narcissist all the while they're involved in a whole different life that you had no clue even existed! Trying to explain this stuff to people who have no clue about these sorts of relationships and listening to their response can actually harm your recovery! This includes family members too 😮😮its just so difficult!
My second narc ex put me through the same thing while she was in jail. Since I knew (or thought I knew) her years ago, I placed her upon this big pedestal, since she was telling me all the things I wanted to hear from her years before, while she was all that time using the money I would send her, and lining up all her other members of her harem garage for when she was released.
One week after she had a friend bring her up to see me at last, and seeing how I was living, struggling, instead of making any arrangements to help me, like I helped her for two years while she sat in jail, no. She took the last $140 she would ever get from me, made fun of the dress and the silver necklace I bought her, because it didn't compare to the 4 carat diamond engagement ring she had on her hand.
A week later, she cut me off all communication, and that was it. She was rearrested six times for drug manufacturing, distributing and prostitution.
It's exactly like that how you described it , to nothing like the it never ever existed , the trauma bond on it and try to explain it to family members and loved ones don't really understand it and how can they ? No one can only survivours of the same tragic outcome of having a Narc in their life can understand so use these communities, can really recommend Andrews and Jess channel to , hang on strong and use these communities to heal from inside with Support in a topic which is the hardest pain ever to happend to a human soul , stay strong and educate yourself and always beileve in yourself in this , stay strong everyone and take care of yourself ✨
Fortunate new supply's end up on these videos after dealing with a narcissist to know what they were really dealing with. Hey look at us! We were all new supply's once. Blessed to be getting this knowledge some just stay on that demonic hamster wheel. I believe Dave you call them Ms B's.
Thanks as always for sharing your story Dave. I was hurt when I was discarded by the narcissist, but the discard was actually a blessing in disguise. My relationship with Jesus is better than it’s ever been. I have joy in my soul that I’ve never felt before. I have no doubt in my mind that I will meet the right person someday. However, I’m in no hurry. Peace is priceless. And I have a lot to learn about narcissism. Thanks again for your testimony and shedding light on these awful spirits.
How long did it take you to feel this way? I am yearning for this feeling! I’m 4 months no contact in 3 days 🙏🙏
@@amyt7378 Hi Amy! I'm 7 months no contact!!! I don't know exactly what month/the timeframe in which I started feeling better/the joy...but I can share with you what helped me. First, I understood that although this person "appears" to have it all together, they are empty and broken inside. Because they're empty, they have nothing good to offer. Nothing but false promises, games, lies, & heartache. The average person has gone back to the narcissist at least once. Ask yourself...did anything change? Was there a "positive" impact on your life? Imagine pouring your love into a selfish, bottomless pit of nothing over & over again. Not to be harsh..but that's exactly what it is. We can give our best but they will still tear it down..nothing will ever be good enough. We had good intentions, but they did not. Second, but most importantly...I pray...often. I poured my heart and tears out to God. When I truly understood God and how He only has good intentions for me/us, I began to dive deeper into His word and His promises. One of his promises I encourage you to read is Isaiah 43:18-21. Third, over time I limited how often I watched narc-related videos. Gaining the knowledge is very helpful, but for me..I noticed feelings of anger and sadness would creep in again. So, I "try" not to watch them on a daily basis. I also watch videos by Trailblazer and Grace for Purpose. Lastly, I forgave myself. Although the relationship didn't turn out as I hoped & resulted in heartache...it was a lesson well learned. Be thankful you were able to get out of it. I hope that you stay out. Pray for strength. YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED. YOU DESERVE TO BE RESPECTED. Be patient. Heal. And don't give up on love. Meanwhile, take that trip that you've always thought about. Buy yourself flowers that you like. Pamper yourself. Get a mani/pedi. Get some much needed sleep/rest. Enjoy the peace. I know this was long...but I hope it helped. Stay strong. You've got this! Oh! one more thing..another channel I recommend is PinkGirlTeaches. Have a wonderful evening AmyT.
Yep....jumped through hoops for all 3 of them..forget it...all three were liers and cheaters...no more....my energy goes into myself now
Smart woman.
Dave..I can feel ur pain as we all have..the trauma bonding is unreal...as we move forward
When a narcissist is ready to leave you, there's nothing you can do to keep them,not even threatening to take your own life, because they've already planned another life without you
Yes, that's the hurtful point, they already have moved on with someone else, Before you even realize there was an issue. They have already discarded you and moved on....they also don't have the ability to naturally bond with people which is why they can so quickly go to another person and new lifestyle without thinking of you at all! Not human. You deserve to lose them and be with a human who has empathy.
You said, they wont lay in bed with you. This is so true. My ex would jump immediately after sex and run to the bathroom. EVERY single time. Left me feeling empty, unloved and confused. After a while I got annoyed and mentioned it and told him how it made me feel. After that night, he avoided me sexually for 3 months until discard.
The covert narcissist I was involved with told me that he never laid in the same bed with any of his many women he’s been with. When he wouldn’t even cuddle with me after sex, I knew I could not be with someone like that long term.
@IrishaTexas Sex for the narc is very mechanical.They don't tell you they love you, they just want to get the job done.🙄
@@kindheart9676 Yup! Absolutely! Sex with him was robotic, boring. He was like a cold fish that expected me to give him pleasure, but never putting an effort to pleasure me in return. No reciprocity whatsoever!
That happened to me the same week my husband left me. It was just that, "sex", it was horrible for me. For him, he didn't give a shit
The silent treatment is their immediate go to to get the upperhand and its disgusting also she started the drinking and then she says you drink too much, so this could have been premeditated. Not giving the address is again control and wanted to be stalked because thats fuel
I did and went through it exactly how you did Dave! I fought so hard to save that marriage. She had me convinced I was te problem. I drank a lot back then too, but she loved that about me in the beginning. I completely quit drinking during that time. I was too hurt and depressed to drink. I tried so hard to fix everything about me, and I did really, but that was still not enough. No one understood what I was going through and I was stuck in that awful place for over 3 years, until I finally moved 1000 miles away and blocked her from everything. That's when I was finally able to let go and heal. It's been 10 years ago now, and my life has become better than I ever dreamed possible!! My heart goes out to all who are just beginning this horror. It gets better I promise! The sooner you let go, the less damage will be done and you will heal much faster!! ❤
When I was giving him time, he was busy with someone else. Another spot on video!! I didn't check up on him much because I wanted him to not feel suffocated or anything. He went from making me feel like there was something wrong with me when I would be quiet and in=trospective. He saw it as neglect, abuse, and he made it seem like I was unstable if I could go from being very chatty to quiet but I needed down time. I thought he would never hurt me the way he did and so coldly. Now he has the audacity to want for me to be friends with his new partner as if our relationship was nothing. I realize this is for triangulation and to undermine our relationship. Funny thing is, his new partner is open to us being friends. Not sure what to make of that but maybe she just has no boundaries which is perfect for him. She is totally different than me looks wise and everything else I suppose. The more different their new supply is, the more shiny the object looks to them I presume.
It’s so difficult to see them change right before your eyes & then realize it was all a show! Then watch them move on like you were nothing, I hope karma eventually comes for them & doesn’t loose their address!
Glad the varmint is gone. He’d be afraid of me if he met me today under the same circumstances. The glory of God obliterates the soul ties. Trust Him and pray from the scriptures “Father God you said by your stripes we are healed and I claim and decree that”. Trust Him and mean it when you pray it. It works, Hallelujah!🙏🕊❤️
So true. I thought my husband had MPD until I learned of Narcissism and realized he is a covert narcissist. I could not understand why the disconnect, lack of empathy and inability to be intimate, to lay in bed and cuddle watching a movie or just talking. They have no depth, only shallow emotions and everything is only cognitively processed. We empaths crave deep bonding and a heart to heart connection.
Craig thanks for enlightning us, it has been almost three years since I was discarded. This year narc text Happy New year I did not respond. Then in March I got the hi stranger text, thanks to you I did not fall in the trap of thinking he had a moment if reckoning. I remember crying so hard in my car when I realized the entire thing was fake. It took a lot of prayer and your videos now he is nothing to me.
"Neanderthal".. 😂😂
I got the works. Best thing is to recognize what attracts these people to us.
I recently hit 4 years divorced, 4 years and 4 months no contact - but that doesn't mean he won't attempt a hoover in the future. Some of these freaks wait many, many years before they try. I think mine is one of those that will wait a really long time, but I'm ready for whenever that happens. There's only 1 reason why it may not happen:
1. They croak before they get the chance (I could only hope and pray this is the case).
Cheers Dave! ☕️
No $hit! My greatest weakness was zero knowledge about BPD, NPD, etc.
Bi-polar sure. Heard about that through some acquaintances but very few. Nothing made sense after 20 year marriage until 60 days after the discard. Key terms she used to communicate never heard before then I looked them up which led me to BPD and NPD. That was my oh $hit moment.
Then the nail in the coffin. She was clinically diagnosed with Cluster B - BPD - Covert / Malignant NPD and much much more.
Excruciatingly painful experience and where I was once blind I now see.
Thank you for your channel. Appreciate your contribution to this subject matter. Peace ✌️
I remembered how my ex narshole had eyes like a dead shark. I poured my heart out to him confessing my feelings and he had a blank stare, as if he was void of a heart and soul. It didn’t matter how intimate we were, I always felt a deep emptiness whenever we were intimate and I couldn’t bond with him. He ghosted me on more than 1 occasion only to hoover me again 2 weeks later at most when I got too sentimental. He hated my emotions and when I opened my heart to him, he would disappear. I’m so happy to be free from all that mind fuckery. Yes, it hurts to think that I loved someone who wasn’t even a real human and never reciprocated my love. Stay No Contact.
Yep like dead or alive shark.
My Narc did the exact same thing she looked right trough me with eyes like she were somewhere else probably in thoughts of the guy she cheated with , talking emotions ,giving emotions felt like she hated it . The thing with the eyes and empty stare is something I heard from many survivours, it's a dark empty soul inside them and the eyes sometimes drops the mask in that too revealing that empty black stare . Stay strong everyone and continue to work on yourself to heal your souls , it will take time and never ever give them a second chance , i did that misstake and that discard will come sooner and more brutal the second time around and really mess your soul to near exstintion , please never ever give a second change cant underline that enough , stay safe and strong everyone ✨
Same
You are absolutely right about the list. My 20 year marriage ended with a list. She pretented to come back and try for about 4 months before the final discard. Her list had thing that benefited her like a new car, laptop, breast implants. I guess she was going to try and get a come up before leaving me. I'm glad I didn't fall for it. After she left I found a list of pros and cons of me, on the cons list she had a list of problems with our house. Somehow the houses shortcomings are my cons.
It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.
Complete & utter delusional nut jobs out there mate
She ,excuse Me ,THE DEMON CREATURE don't know My COMBINATION to Me anymore 💥
I got canned for mowing my yard once.. after I mowed hers
This video certainly resonates with me Dave... Being brutally discarded after giving your partner 100 percent of your energy and time and really loving that person is really cruel and leaves you in a state of shock for a long time. You were made to feel this person needed you and that you were equally important to them, that they loved you too. The discard is literally seeing a different person to the one they portrayed to be..how can they move on so quickly after spending 5 years with you and just cast you aside like you just don't exist anymore, it really is so very hard to understand. Friends and family just don't understand and can sometimes make you feel worse when they say just move on!!..you really loved that person and your hopes and dreams have been shattered with such an abrupt end...It really does feel like a death , your grieving what you thought you had. When you genuinely loved that person it's impossible to move on within a few weeks. It's exhausting and your self esteem is rock bottom after being discarded.The anxiety is crippling at times . The breakup feels like no other that you have ever experienced. So hard to explain to people who haven't experienced a relationship with someone who has a NPD...They are also 100 miles per hour within the relationship, never truly relaxing to be with, never read a book, never stop from the moment they wake , even on weekends it is full steam ahead... Doing everything they want to do. Mini discards if you stand up for yourself. A very surreal experience and a lesson nobody deserves to learn... Getting the knowledge and education about NPD has helped so much so thank you Dave❤
Everything you said I completely 100% feel and went through.
I’ve been 3.5 months no contact and it’s better, but still the cognitive dissonance and trauma bond is there. It makes me mad I just want to be done grieving! Grr.
I agrred totally
This channel is scary I'm just driving minding my own business and I just passed through Hoover Street
8OMG.. Narcs favorate phrase...I Need Time, I Need Space! Allow Me To Miss You! *Bull Crapola!!!! Blessings and Thank You!
Dave, I discarded him after 5 years, and ALMOST dying. He can't find me! 12 years has gone by. I changed my phone #, I moved, I'm off of Social Media, and NO FLYING MONKEYS! He had NO friends. I think I'm safe. I even planned an "accidental" meeting. If I ever see him, I just ignore him, keep walking, and if he follows, just keep walking while not saying one word!
I met covert narcissist at the store after 5 years of no contact. He was looking at me intently, while I pretended not to notice him. We literally went face to face. He stopped at he opposite side of the store to check me out. I’m glad, I was strong and kept going without giving him an opportunity to talk to me. It’s going to be a privilege to talk to me for the rest of his life. After the abuse he put me through, he’ll never gain that privilege back. Ever!
@IrishaTexas Irisha, that was smart! I plan on just keep walking, like I said when I shared, and if he follows me, I just keep walking. I'd love to punch him, but I'm too intelligent for that! 👍
Are you sure your not the Narc ?
Thankyou Dave, it’s upsetting u have been through the mill it’s shocking what u experienced. To listen to what u have shared is as if your talking about what I’ve been through. It’s so calculated and even with their false mask u just can’t get passed their falseness of emotions until u are given the worst to see it.
I feel so sorry for u with what u encountered.
They definitely love the drink, one bottle leads to several in one night. Mine was a alcoholic and they definitely hook u into their habits only to inflict blame shifting on us as if we have the habit. As soon as u get away alcohol seems to just disappear.
So many times mine chorused with marriage and kids and the triangulation., It got to me so much. The damage they inflict is diabolical. It’s like a constant pain and worst is when the desperation hits to stay with them. Until u get to that point where your away from them in silence and distance u start to find your pain eases more.
Your experience is such an insight thankyou so much Dave.
Your amazing.
Yep! He began bringing alcohol home regularly and asking if I wanted a drink. When I said no thank you he would get mad at me because I wouldn’t like him drinking by himself 🤔 just all so weird.
I am a 5 properties (multi unit) real estate investor and personal trainer and charge high. And she got with a cop lmaooo. Stranger = shinier new toy 💯 !!!!!!! Why the downgrade because she knew I was coming on way too strong calling her out on her bullshit
Crazy how similar all our experiences are. The lists, the ghosting in your own home, the cold walk away. Just insane.
It's like dealing with robots who have the same operating manual. Health Professionals say 3-7% of the population are narcissists or psychopaths (sometimes both). Sometimes it seems more like 80% of the population, right?
You have no idea how I depend on your videos. You are an angel. Thank you Dave
My wife ghosted me after 2 years of marriage without any notice
Coward lol
God did you a favor. She’s not healthy, for you or anyone else.
@Ross Marlin You are blessed it was only 2 years of marriage, not 17 years. God pulled you out of that, He had a better purpose for your life. 🙏😇
How profoundly revelatory. Seems I'm " the neanderthal that fell in love with a demon"! Today the shackles are broken; let the hoover begin! After 5 years NO MAS! Thanks for your work Dave!
Another gem Dave -every word hits with this. Keep up the great work
I was treated the exact same way, I was left high and dry. No reason then the hatred towards me. Definitely no bond they need the excitement all the time the good life the money. The minute you say no or have an opinion of your own on something. They see this as a sign your not conforming to the person they saw you at the start of the relationship. Remember you gave up everything for them and now your showing signs of having a mind of your own. They are one tracked robots chasing the good life and been the centre of attention.
"They just need a warm body" Yup. That sums it up and makes me nauseous as an Empath.
My husband said he faked loving me as his wife for 12 years. Such a mess
Hi Dave
So accurate I didn't even know what a trauma bond was till... its awful I was drinking heavy with narc and smoking lol.. now not swimming walking and church singles not so bad ❤😂😊
Good afternoon, Dave. Great video. I am hesitant to comment candidly about my personal experiences (based on the troll comment I got earlier this week when sharing). I've dealt with years of trauma being dealt me by narcissists, as a disabled male, having nothing to offer.
I can relate to your situation in a way, because I was so happy (especially with narc #2) because she was my first crush for years ago, and we had finally reconnected after ten years of hell from my first relationship. I tend to place those on a "pedestal" because of the simple fact they're willing to accept me as I am with all the disabilities, trauma and lack.
But up until I started following your page five years ago, I never really knew what narcissistic abuse and gaslighting is, even though I lived through all of it.
In a way I'm glad that the whole Johnny Depp trial came forward to shine a spotlight on men who are abused in relationships for years by narcissists.
In my case, having life long disabilities, I didn't have free choices as to whom I would be with, because I have nothing to offer in a typical relationship. Now, knowing what I do, my best option and choice is staying alone. To do otherwise subjects me to more loss and mental and physical abuse.
Having said that, I have to say I'm sorry, but I no longer believe in love. I gave my all in both relationships and got nothing back but loss and abuse.
I don't know where they are but I believe they have to be out there somewhere. If we can be good people and other pages are full of people standing for their marriages, there must be good women somewhere
devil trying to scare you... stay bold Michael
@@Narcologyunscripted true, Dave. I look at it this way: my sharing my honest experiences in my post ferreted out a narcissist among the group. When dealing with narcissists, and I'm sure we have had plenty of experience, it's like Mom used to say in her Cherokee wisdom: "You pass by a junkyard and see a group of dogs huddled around each other. You throw a stick over the fence, and the dog you hit will holler the loudest"
That's what happened the other day here.
I don't believe in love anymore either. With today's society with the social media, dating apps, and the NPD/APD epidemics - you have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding an honest, genuine person who wants true love.
Have faith that God is love and because He is, love still exists. That person is out there. I have never seen it or experienced it either, but I know it exists. Set yourself up for love to enter. Heal first. Stop reading negative social media posts on love
Surround yourself with only positive media and aspects of love to drown out the negative. I am not saying lie to yourself or become naive. I just mean when its negative , stop it in tracks from poisoning your mind
You drank to tolerate the narc!! 😂 totally. I don't drink yet he's an alcoholic
Like your tea cup/ coffee mug Dave :-)
The record for my narc's total phone calls in one day was 39 times in 6 hrs... N there was another time when we were fighting, I was ignoring him bc he was being cruel... He left 63 texts in a row bc he would do this thing where he would write one word in each text at a time, I remember that particular time he was leaving ones like this :
Stop
Ignoring
Me
Answer
My
Phone
Calls
Or
Mssg
Me
Back
Damn
You
------------
And yeah, you think they're doing all of this bc they need you or love you so much, if it was being done by anyone else in this manner, you'd call it harassment... It perplexed me to no end bc this was a regular thing during that 5 yrs unless he was devaluing n discarding me or ghosting me for days at a time...
Omg hilarious 😂 that’s what my teenage daughter does
I was 7 years physically sober when I met the Narc. He was many more years than me. I was dt a vulnerable point. Maybe he was also it is difficult to know.
He used slot of AA lingo and recovery talk to suck me it. It actually helped me on one level. In other words he acted like a sponsor would.
I fell for him very hard very quickly and then it turned sour overnight.
Thankfully I did not sleep with him.
Your videos really helped me in the getting over this awful scenario. I came to believe that he was either a narc or at least strongly narcissistic.
He invited me to try again 18 months after we split. I walked away!!!!!😊
The narc is dead to me
As always, a great message! Happy Friday! Have an outstanding weekend.
Dave, once again SO spot on! Every time I need a boost I watch one of your vids. This one in particular about the narcissistic friends and the narc wanting to get going early on a Sunday really hit the nail on the head. I’m seeing narc traits in a lot of my friends post-discard, especially about them not seeming to care about what I’ve been through lately. As soon as the convo starts going in that direction they either stop replying or change the topic. Pretty disappointing but it makes me treasure my true friends even more ❤️
Also the comment about looking like Brad Pitt but acting like Mr. Rogers was 👌🏻🤣
this is absolutely mind blowing - understanding that what they gave you was a mask and unreal, is just something that is so hard to let go of. he was absolutely everything i needed and discarded me like i was absolutely nothing. wow. god bless us and give us a healthy relationship in 2024.
I was married to a narcissist for nearly four years. I didn't know what a narcissist or gaslighting was . I know now ! I had no idea ! I also can say I've truly saw a demon
I'm glad I got out before she took my life
Best educational material I've ever had. Much appreciated 🙏.
You saved me, thank you i really hope you got past the pain it nearly killed me
Just found ur channel. I luv ur humour, and the plain easy way u talk about these subjects. 28 mo post narc, no contact. Thank u!!!!!
Thanks for subbing!
Hi Dave, Thanks for your videos!
Happy Friday Dave🎉makes my day to see a video from you!
Thank You Janee:)
They are Everywhere💯
Took him back 23 times in 15 yrs😳now haven’t seen him or spoke in 4 yrs except in court. An yes I didn’t know that he was a narcissist so I was incapable of understanding but I knew something was wrong! I ended up telling him to get out for the last time an I divorced him so now I’m being punished!! I don’t believe he will ever return because he pays for his sex an all relationship are on his terms! Goodbye!!!
Dave you make this so amusing at times, this helps me understand and identify with all the abuse I was dealing with.
Yup,I'm the discard after 12 years. Very painful
You took the words right out of my mouth every word you said I live through I needed to know why why one day I was everything in the next day I was nothing how about how that can just happen I found my answers it was narcissism spent two years healing found forgiveness as myself and them and that's when I found my freedom
IF A RESIDENT OF NC OR ANY STATE, TV IS YOURS!!!!! I LIVED IN A SHELTER FOR THREE YEARS, COULDN'T AFFORD TO MOVE, DIDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN TORMENT!!!! KEPT RENT PAID, HIDE MONEY FOR RENT??? THIS WAS MY EXISTENCE
Hi Dave,so tragic 😢 have a great weekend
Thank you for bringing me back to reality when I start missing them ❤🎉
Amen word for word even the friend thing word for word 100% right on point
The accuracy Dave!!
missing your videos! please come back 😊
This resonated almost exactly to what I went through. Thank you for this.
My ex-husband of 15 years had malignant narcissistic traits only with me, the mother of his three kids, and the oldest being quadriplegic. My boyfriend of 4.5 is full blown 200 percent covert narcissist. Its not until my boyfriend ghosted me and gave me the silent treatment after a small fight, that I asked the Lord to show me who he was. My immediate impression in my mind after that prayer was the word narcissist. I looked it up, and I had so much clarity and understanding for once in my life. I realized not only that my ex-husband was a narcissist, my boyfriend too, and 77 year old father is also a major malicious grandiose narcissist too. The Bible says, All things work together for good for those who love God. Romans 8:28. I trust that what I went through fortified me as a prayer warrior and child of God, but also will equip me to help others open their eyes to this evil around us.
That's funny! She said YOU are drinking too much?!!!!
......mine did the same thing with beer and I don't drink, but SHE is an alcoholic with TWO DWIs!!
Dave this speaks so much to me it basically happened to me but we had a child together ! Thank you so much for your channel brother sending love from the uk
Thanks for sharing!!
It’s all about the coffee breath guys 🤣
10:49
Yes. He could never "cuddle" in bed or just chill. It was robotic intimacy then he just abruptly left the bed without a word. 😅 such soulless "people".... demons...
I have too much to say to type but feel I need to say thank you. Thank you David.
Oh my gosh. This was my situation to a T. This has been so painful. 5 months of no contact and I’m still struggling to break the trauma bond.
My apologies Dave that was my Bluetooth earphones the humming was coming from so annoying and funny😅😅😅
The amount of disgust and mistreatment she gave me after 1 1/2 years was soul crushing. She became a completely different person. I felt she enjoyed hurting me while I was desperately trying to save our relationship. After that she discarded me like used kleenex. That was almost 3 years ago. To this day I’m struggling to fully recover. I’m better now but a part of me miserably died. Hard to imagine to fall in love ever again after this.
Spot. On.
Great video Dave. Your story sounds very familiar.
Dave I went through this too - we were in our little bubble of beer, spirits, and smokes - nothing else mattered we were in love, and then one day out of the blue although it was a gradual blue he projected onto me that I needed space after instigating a disagreement. I was left confused from this gaslighting moment and was left to believe I was the one who was unable to be emotionally open with him. This was about 1 year into the 3yr relationship and I was willing to do whatever it took to be able to be with him. The future faking began when at the beginning he promised we would look for a house together, so after 1 year it had never happened and the excuse was "I need to Heal" from my past traumas in order to be ready to set up a home together. At this point I knew something was going on, I didn't know there was a harem garage back then but I do now - I believe he reconnected with an ex who I think lived in our town and then all the I (me) need space conversation kept re-circling so he could go off and rekindle his old ex-flame. Thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry you went through that… I was recently discarded, but I’m blaming myself.
I struggle with PTSD from a previous relationship. I had a lot of anxiety and attacks in the relationship with the man who told me he loved me. Out of nowhere, no talking, no anything, I came home and he was gone. Completely ghosted. We were living together for three years. When I met him he wanted to get married instantly and told me he can be there for me with my PTSD/OCD and would never leave me.
After he left, I took full accountability, apologized, offered to change, started treatment, and reached out. He told me that even if I changed, he would never want anything to do with me again and he’s already looking for others.
I know I messed up because I wasn’t taking care of myself mentally, but how could someone go from caring so much to not caring at all? Could this be similar to narcissism? Sometimes I feel like I was narcissistic. It’s all a blur.
I didn’t chase after her because it’s simple whatever she is chasing it’s fools gold I had the same thing presented itself to me and I entertained it but, didn’t fall for it and I told her don’t trade places with me but, she got hooked so that’s on her I’ll die for you but not with you
The only thing i would chase is child support and restraining order
It’s all within us we project into our lives.
Thanks!
Thanks Steve! You rock brother
I feel I was reverse engineered by her. What a terrible 3 year waist of time. One year later the bending until being broken still causes self embarrassment.
Wait to lock him up he’ll na 🎉❤🎉😂😂😂😂
There is absolutely no way she's coming back because I called her a covert narcissist and wrote her a detailed letter explaining why she has a personality disorder and is a burden to be around. Shes injured. She is sending flying monkeys. & I'm out here living my best life baby!
People who have a learning disorder for emotional empathy are a burden to deal with. I just laugh at them. 😂
Yes, they do come back. I've always wondered about that. They don't move on. Is there nothing in their minds to move on to?
He discarded me first and then I discarded him when he tried to triangulate me. It's been almost 3 weeks. Do you think he has the nerve to come back?
In my case, they don't always come back but I'm grateful for it
He’s not coming back. He doesn’t want me to win at anything. I told him when I left that I hated him. I never want to hear from him again. No phone calls or texts. He just stood there and I left.
Dave he called me after 1 year .I didnt answer . I dont understand what he want..
When they are ghosting you they are with the new supply
yep!
... unbelievable that ex. covert narcissist can come back in my life... coz I'm barely recovering from that time 18 years & half he been in my life & I don't know if I ever will recover... I'm very sad, depressed & unmotivated person... I don't want any type of sex... I only go to work like a robot as forever cleaner & for shopping, to church... but I have no motivation to tidy, organise my house... I leave that for my 3adult kids... so I suggest I'm not recovered from abuse & fake happiness memories with ex. narc... only God can fix my pain... maybe I never recover from this... I just know I can't accept him back coz that day will be my funeral day, I think I will die emotionally with last crumbs of my "recovered" brain... or Lord will strike me to death as thunder... or my anointing will kill me... so I don't fancy any narcissist in my life... repenting person of sins, breaking curses, going through deliverance for rest of my life its OK for me... 🤔👀🇬🇧🏡🦁🐑👑🔥💨✨
I don't want her back. I want her to leave me alone. Why do I have to keep telling her that????
He came back 28yrs later. Divorced, bankruptcy, his grown children didn't speak to him. I believe 2 are narcissist. Cruel mean adults. I gave them each 100 for Christmas. They shamed me for this. He mastered the art of mental abuse. Incredible. He discarded me 5 days after a vacation together. We had a blast, then out of the blue totally unexpected, he went into a rage over the phone. Calling me Lots wife!? He never spoke to me like this. The mask came off. 8 months wasted. He told me he is with a woman half his age and will give him more children. I am gobsmacked. He then called me a kiss ass? 💋 almost funny, still a horrific embarrassment
How can I contact Dave would like to talk to him about family problems and get his opinion his videos have helped me in the pass tremendously
you can contact me at narccology@gmail.com
@@Narcologyunscripted Thanks