I studied psychiatry, read more books than most, took copious notes, devoted immense amounts of time and energy to self-reflection and introspection and healed my own trauma. All I can say is that Dr Gabor Mate's understanding intelligence compassion and wisdom is second to none and had I known of him and his work, my healing process would have been exponentially expedited.
He walked that path himself. While others may speak from theory, he speaks from experience, which gives his words a different wisdom. His message doesn't come from the mind but from his soul-his true self. So as a professional now you will help way more people, since you came victorious out of your own battle. Thanks for sharing
So how do you deal with people who don't understand these things and try to minimize the crippling effects of chronic depression and suicidal ideation? I have become an outcast in my "social circle" because of people's denial and wrong assumptions.
Unfortunately, there is a converse element in this, too. Upon the threatened destruction of another relationship in her life, a woman I know said to her therapist, “I’m just being true to myself. What about ‘to thine own self be true’?” and her therapist responded, “Which self?” To this person, authenticity meant putting her worst inclinations forward because they were true and real rather than recognizing that internal consistency also demanded that she recognize the destructive nature of that “truth” in the relationships that she also wanted and needed just as much. When her life was all about herself and inward focus, she was miserable just as she was if she wasn’t sharing transparently and being seen honestly.
In childhood I had a 5 years older sister who was, and still is at 69, the "poster child" for female psychopathy. I was diagnosed, decades ago, with major depressive disorder, major anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. In 1998 a social security panel of physicians judged me to be "totally and permanently disabled, unemployable". Since then I've finally gotten sober and clean, (09/20/2018), and by practicing Zen Buddhism, a la Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn, and reading and watching Dr. Maté, I'm finally feeling much better and reasonably happy, consistently. Of course I'm 64 years old now 🙄, but it's fine. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called, 'the present'".😉🙏💖🙏
BPD women are almost always demonizing the people close to them, calling there sister a psychopath is common BPD antagonistic behavior, so is being addicted to drugs and pushing boundaries of other people AS FAR AS THEY LET THEM. And the disorder generally does not subside until they are old. A significant bpd trait is demonizing others to avoid processing the guilt that they SHOULD be feeling
My parents got divorced before I was born, and my mom left me with my narcissistic grandma until 7. Every time she came to visit I cried and begged her to take me, but she left anyway and blamed me for putting on a crying show to make her feel bad. Throughout my childhood and teen years, her strategy was to expose me to all kinds of pains and prep me for the tough world. I was constantly punished physically and emotionally, criticized for not obeying her order or for not performing perfect in school. I was No 1 in every subject in my class but that was still not good enough. When some boys showed interest in me she would cut my hair to look stupid and mock me of being stupid to believe anyone other than her. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and finally an eating disorder which I am still trying to recover from. I hope one day I can find myself and truly learn to love myself and heal my trauma.
Hang on tight to yourself because if we keep trying for authenticity we will get there, painful though it may be. My parents also hated me, ignorned me and invalidated me in so many ways. I know anxiety and depression, and at 67, I am healing and getting more in touch with myself. One day, and it may not be so far away, you will love yourself more and you will heal. Keep on going! Keep hope.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You sound like a survivor who is strong. Your story will heal others and help them indetify their strengths. Know that you are loved and you deserve the world ❤
Sorry to be in the hands of evil, make sure YOU are not like it, be your authentic self without this input. Heal through others kinder people, therapists etc. Much luck to you xx
Letting your children being authentic is one of the greatest gifts you can do as a parent. And it is very easy to do because authenticity feeds itself for life.
i disagree with this partially. "Letting your kids be authentic" can lead to not parenting at all and justnletting them get into any destructive behavior for the sake of "being authentic". Ive seen it happen, will smiths son is perfect example. Have you seen him in interviews hes an asshole and doesnt care about anybody. Children need guidelines and barriers of livinf and thought to be expkained by their parents. Period.
This is why accepting and embracing people with addictions works better than judging, excluding them from society, and punishing them. People can be authentic when they feel safe and accepted. People only lie when they know they’ll be judged or punished for telling the truth.
Why would we want to judge and punish someone who has gone through so much trauma and lack of love/getting their needs met that it leads them to addictions to cope anyway? It's like we have this idea that people get addicted to things for fun or because they're lazy.. They're suffering and need our help
Nobody said anything about living with addicts or alcoholics. And setting boundaries for oneself and BACKING them up confidently is the goal. I’s tough to do it for many of us. Lots of people aren’t able to set boundaries well. therefore all kinds of people walk all over them.. not just addicts - clean or not or alcoholics- sober or not. Addiction and alcoholism are DISEASES someone can be addicted to a non-drug substance- “Chocolate”- for instance is very addictive and a person may choose to create a pattern of eating chocolate whenever they have emotional turbulence etc. one definitely ears plenty of it during their many crises in life as an avoidance. It is just as degrading to be addicted to chocolate as to be addicted to drugs or alcohol. It damages MANY lives and causes obesity etc. I suppose it can take longer than a drug constantly being used does to destroy but not necessarily. People will judge (some even call THAT, Judging an addiction). Shame and debilitating compulsions to KEEP on GETTING THE SUBSTANCE into your body rules one’s life in all addictions unless they’re fortunate enough to have enough mind abilities within themselves and willingness to make changes. Childhood trauma is HARD AS HELL on us all, maybe an entire EARTH full of compassionate and kind people is needed instead of a negative push ri NOT BE FOOLISH like the guy a couple comments before mine was sharing. Maybe he had not set good, solid boundaries with an addict or alcoholic.. positive input was what was lacking in our childhood so although I may think em, i find it better to stfu when my words harm another on purpose, even absentminded. Words crush people and show where a person has an issue if some kind within. 1:51
Authenticity in this society is seen as unprofessional and "problematic". It's infuriating and why I'm stepping away from the online world while I recalibrate myself and heal my trauma instead of subjecting and destroying myself for the projections of others who can't handle being honest with themselves and are intimidated by someone who is.
So much of what Gabor Mate says are the exact realizations I've worked through in the past half decade. It's so refreshing to hear someone saying all of the things I couldn't write down and get out due to trauma.
@@Pelis_Chilangobythesea No shots fired, just an observation applicable to my life about the authenticity people say they seek in others and how it has not worked for me as I try to recover from severe physical and mental health/trauma that deeply impacts my every day life. Until I can get to a better place of mental stability in my life, I will never be able to be authentic and heal at the same time under the pressures of contradicting narratives pushed by society. I am helping no one with my social media presence, including myself, so I am seeking to remove myself from what is distracting me from healing in my real life.
@@afairshare en español por favor traducir. O eres auténtico o eres amado.en una sociedad tienes que adaptarte a canones de civismo. en una relación de pareja siempre hay un elemento de misterio. amar no tiene un fin ni un inicio, es solo un proceso de conocerse, es simplemente deceptivo. A lo largo de mi vida se me ha dicho que soy muy auténtico, y humilde, es frustrante que te llamen sentimental e intenso, si embargo creo que convivo conmigo mismo. Ahora Jung , Peterson junto con la escuela estoica, piensan en corregir el niño interior, callarlo y adatarlo. es necesario y es el sufrimiento que paga la humanidad. Nuestra patria es nuestro padre nos enseña como vivir, nuestro mayor enemigo nos impone maneras de pensar. De dónde viene la autenticidad de las cosas.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
A whole lot of people all over the world are walking around with trauma within and it’s showing up in all kinds of destructive ways. I hope everyone gets an opportunity to listen to Gabor, he’s a gift.
Thank you. God I'm so sick of these meaningless diagnoses that don't do anything. Band aids on core wounds. I hate our pathetic mental health system. It's failed not just me, not just my family, not just nearly everyone I know, not just every mental health disaster I've worked within, but nearly everyone, in some way. I'm furious. This man is a genius but it makes me so devastated because he's not the norm, and not nearly enough people will benefit from this. I'm so sick of toxic selfish, oblivious disgusting people abusing others.
Diagnosis isn’t the cure, it’s a target. You have to do the work. Therapy isn’t psych surgery. What ails you can’t be cut out by the therapist. Recovery is a long and arduous process and re-integration is much harder.
@@deadinside8781sometimes one has to accept recovery isn’t possible and that we are just damaged beyond repair. Like being an amputee. Gotta do the best you can with the disability.
I know how you feel and agree that you have a valid point. My analysis of the mental health system is that it really does not exist, what does exist is a "shut up and go away system." A major problem with being a caring, open and authentic person is that it does not pay very well. The society I inhabit is transactional to a very great degree. These transactions encourage inflating what "one" has to offer and deflating what the "other" has to offer. There are many broken systems that come to mind. Mental Health, Health, Banking, Financial Services, Food, water, Insurance, Local, City, County, State, Federal and International Government(s), Education, Religion(s), transportation and Construction. Apparently nothing is OK????
Nobody explains and understands childhood trauma as well as Dr. Mate. I’ve gone through therapy due to my childhood trauma, but it was fruitless. Dr. Mate made me feel like he understood me even when I’ve never met him. This resonates with me completely and now I understand why I have a hard time connecting with anyone in my life 😢
The comment sections under Gabor Matè videos are always so wholesome and compassionate. I hope he sees and feels his impact! He's such a gift to humanity.
I got a massage weeks after a miscarriage and I cried … i could not stop it. The massage therapist was so kind and understanding. She said I needed to release. She was right. Great experience ❤️🇨🇦
He mentions: "the body keeps the score" from Bessel van der Kolk 5:10. That book was the first book that understood me and all my problems. Thank you for mentioning that, Gabor Maté. You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.
agree. It is what made me push myself with Sports, fitness and hopefully meditation soon. Meditation is still very hard for me cause my wounds are very deep, the ADD is super strong with me.
I once went to a spa salon for massage. I started crying and sobbing and couldn't calm down for quite a while afterwards. The feeling of being cared for, looked after, felt unbearable. I used to hate myself and punish myself constantly and now I work on healing from that. That massage session was a step in this process
Childhood trauma is so So damaging My Parents should Have never had Children ,Even as a 60yr old woman I still carry this and have dealt with it so many times But it returns ,My coping strategies are to Block It like it never happened Fight or Flight is easier to cope with than constantly reliving it in My sleep
@@carmenl163 That’s interesting. I’ve always thought that Marshall Rosenberg would get the Nobel Prize for studying peaceful cultures and developing Nonviolent Communication (which addresses that practical applications of Gabor’s work). He hasn’t yet. 🤔
@@aninsidestory I would support him getting the Nobel peace prize as well! There are some fantastic teachers out there who are not recognized enough, I think. They are teaching us inner peace, which is the best way to outer peace. Byron Katie and Breneé Brown are candidates, too, in my view.
@@carmenl163 Yes, a big thumbs up to Byron Katie. I have a 'should' story in my head about Brene Brown. I can't get past that she is an academic researcher who studies shame, emotions and culture and she has not ever referenced Marshall Rosenberg or NVC to my knowledge. If you can help me see my way past this, I would be grateful. 🙂
That last line about having all sorts of logic and science but not having wisdom is of the utmost significants for both individuals and the human species. If we don't grow in wisdom, we are bound to destroy ourselves with the instruments that our so called logical minds have created.
The issue is that in order to gain wisdom we have to actually act on these new changes or way of thinking. All these self help books just kinda keep us on a information overload loop... I wish there were more popular programs available to help us all get there.
This has made me realise why I am like I am..the need for attachment after being rejected for the first twenty odd years of my life..extraordinary that at 78 years of age this video has taken me back but made me understand..why..I feel relieved..happy that I had to cope but now knowing I have this coping mechanism a strength I acquired as a result of rejection..now I know why I need attachment..now I can move away from that..thank you Gabor..
I am very grateful for your kind words and understanding what trauma is and can do to the child and how much can affect her or his adult life. I find very difficult to express my emotions, feelings, anxiety, fear, depression, because of what I went through during my childhood, the rejection the abuse physical mentally emotionally and sexually. I did not understand any of this until I was an adult. I understand now that all of that was caused because of my childhood trauma. thank your for the support and help you other people.
Sexual abuse is the most damaging of them all.. Please look in your community for a group support.. I find it easier when you’re surrounded by other women with whom we can share the same experiences and there you can open up and start talking without feeling ashamed
He is truly magnificent, and if it wasn’t for all the things that he put himself through as a child, after having certain experiences and his perception of those experiences, we would not have the knowledge or wisdom that he came here to share with all of us to help us through our darkest times, and help us to embrace our own light I just wanna say thank you from the depths of my heart
I was separated from my mother a few weeks after birth , spent nine months in a babies home and then adopted ,this explains my lifelong difficulties with depression , anxiety and addiction so well . Adoption is Trauma . Thankyou Gabor .😢
Dude...what are you staying? Adoption is trauma? Abandonment is trauma, adoption is what allowed you the luxury of being able to think about these things instead of the alternative, like being dead or having to fend for yourself. Not cool, man.
I got the book "The Myth of Normal" in hand...what an introspective piece it is.The more I am reading and listening him the more clarity I am getting of myself and the more I am drawn to listen him.Thanks a lot doctor.You are a blessing to us.
I suddenly started feeling lost as a 14-year-old. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I wanted to be 'cool', and I wanted my evenings to be about more than just homework. But that pursuit led me nowhere. I stopped performing well at school and stopped feeling peaceful and joyful. I spent the next 20 years wanting to return to the state before 14, but got more and more exhausted in the process. 2.5 years ago, life came to a screeching halt. I felt like it was my chance to turn it around but I have to say these years have been the worst years of my life. My self esteem was never lower, my financial losses never this bad, my physical fitness never so poor, I was never more lonely and my decisions never more illogical. I'm 36 now, and I feel like what I'm going through now is the worst phase of my life.
I would add that the authenticity is not only about being highly in-tune with our own unarticulated judgments, emotions, and presence in the moment, but also about being in-tune with others who are central to our lives as accurately as possible--working hard and taking some risks to achieve this. Assumptions are deadly, and we live in a time in which we are too easily replacing intensive effort to understand others with an adoption of this or that conviction that we hear repeated in social media, especially, about how someone "like that" _always_ thinks, feels, what motivates them, etc. Especially in the last ten years or so, I have witnessed an extraordinary level of strain in relationships, and broken relationships, that have been based as much on assumptions and a lack of authentic, effective communication--including an unwillingness to challenge what seems wrong and fight for a relationship that really matters--as on anything that is definitively real.
All these information has saved my life!!! After hearing Gabor, Peter Levine and other doctors I found somatic experiencing the missing peace of my healing journey. Thank you Gabor Mate!
Every talk from Dr Mate I have listened to has been helpful I was thinking of ways to release resentment in my heart and he is living proof that trauma doesn't have to be a life sentence. My parents weren't very affectionate and it was painful to see how much suffering we endure throughout our lives when our parents aren't invested in parenthood. My sister was in a devastating accident in 2013 that left her with frontal lobe damage and she was unable to care for herself my younger sister and I had the responsibility of handling her care because my parents weren't helping in any way. I believe till this day she died of a broken heart in 2018 and I had so much anger and resentment toward my parents. Now I am learning to try to relate to their upbringing and it has helped me to deal with the pain of their neglect and in trying to understand their feelings it has been healing to me.
Alignment of our 3 brains is True Wisdom and True Awareness. I really enjoy to listen to Dr. Gabor. "What is not known is alone," is another great quote in this video. Thanks for sharing.
trauma is a spiritual wound....that medication cannot heal. Medication is for physical wounds. Trauma needs spiritual medication. The cause of trauma most often starts in a physical form: sound, touch, taste, smell, sight. The effect it then has on the inside is the trauma. Upon receiving the negative experiencing we begin to make meaning through stories that we believe to be true about ourselves.
@@patriciaredmond3996 We process our experiences in search of meaning then we choose one theory about the experience as true. The choice we make reinforces an emotion that seems familiar to us. We then hold on to the emotion and the theory we have about the experience...until it is automated in our brain.
He is the best childhood trauma survivor 2yrs 6months sober and gave up gambling also always speak up about it dont bottle it up no matter the pain going through get honest with yourself saved my life he knows what he talking about
He has helped me heal in so many ways. This fabulous man helped me look internally to heal as I always looked externally only to cause more harm to my whole being.....Then I was shown his work and I believed all he said. I had more than 1 childhood traumatic experiences that made me shut down and not express my feelings and emotions. This brought me to be a long-term addict that has crone's disease diagnosed when I was 24. I kept doing harder drugs to not FEEL the pain of this disease also to push it down as that had been my coping mechanism. In 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis n told I'd be in a wheelchair in 6months. It took me out, my whole left side not functioning properly at all. I had been studying to be a therapist for 3.5yrs before I got MS. Because of the knowledge I had learnt I knew I had tools to get in control of my dis-eases UNEASE IN MYSELF so I used these tools to enhance my self-belief and self-reliance. After 8months of letting my conditions debilitate me I rose above them and took back the control of my mind body and soul allowing my spirit to help me function again as best as I could, just differently from the ways I knew which allowed me to live a life of new experiences and hope. This is when I was shown Gabor Matēs completely ' out of the norm' information and I live by this man's informative knowledgeable insights and researched hands on experience. It's now 2022 & I am slowly yet surely healing from the inside out leading me to believe I will never be in a wheelchair but I will be helping others to rise above their dis-eases with the power of positive thinking & making sure movement is key in their everyday life. NAMASTE GABOR MATÉ 🙏♥️💓
@@rachelcaldwell330 you are an inspiration. Dr. Maté's work is groundbreaking. I am just beginning my journey back to self, so hearing your healing journey is definitely inspirational.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
13:17 “something happened” To me when I cried as a toddler and my mother tried to strangle me to death. 35 years later and I have innumerable attachment wounds with people who beg me, either implicitly or explicitly, to shut up and stop expressing my natural human feelings. I’m divorcing from someone that’s made me feel this way for over a year now and I feel like my true authentic life is about to begin.
I can totally relate to this. I've had tons of trauma in my lifetime - some very extreme. I totally believe that the trauma I experienced as a pre-verbal two-year-old is the one that has had the biggest effect on me. I love his work on addiction. I used to show his YT video: The Brain and Addiction to my clients. It very scientifically related the craving for substances to the human brain. It was a way of helping them to drop the "baggage," and begin the healing journey. He has helped so many people that he'll never even know...
Totally agree, I went through an Inner Child program with The Inner Council and major shifts have happened in my life. All emotions are to be validated, then review the triggers and remove the emotional charges. Calm, clear minded, happy.
Although now separated for some years, the most important trait in a man is authenticity. My husband and the few other men I have loved thru life (not many 🥰) have all possessed this admirable
Dr. Gabor is a soul seeker and so right about the right brain ! Left handers have this advantage , left is right! We , as a lefty , develop sympathy, kindness, true awareness and compassion towards others but do be sure not to get trapped and know your right brain for the difference and concrete truths bc people can take advantage and not understand you and then your trapped! Stay authentic ! 😊❤
Dr Gabor is such a Gift to all….his work is filled compassion, knowledge and truth, giving clarity into our behaviors and minds, is priceless… The insight and understanding to deceases that many have had to suffer with…. And there is no judgment nor blame at all ….. This line was Great in this interview….Not to be known is to feel Alone…. How we learn to talk before we talk and how our brain absorbs what we obverse, how our triggers are only the match to the underlying trauma and pain we carry inside the stuff people don’t want to discuss….Dr Gabor’s work and dedication is giving Hope and life to many. I believe everyone suffers from some form of an emotional gap, their no perfect…thank you Dr Gabor your work is a Beautiful Gift of Hope in this journey of a life….Grateful 🙏
I've been true to myself and authentic. Being authentic AND verbal about it is a good way to inspire hateful people to interfere with your life and goals. It is those people who repeatedly attempt to wound you over and over again. Authenticity has NOT helped me. It has only made enemies out of people who would have otherwise ignored me. Don't be authentic. Hold your closest dreams inside and then reach them silently.
Brilliant, and authentic. “The brain is connected to the heart.” Filled with gratitude & grace for this enlightening moment. Indeed, “Ye shall know thy truth, and the truth shall make you free ,” (John 8:32)✨
I wish I could have learned about this doctor before. I have been waiting for my two kids to learn how to talk to then teach them my native language and none of them have learned it, my last child I began to speak my native language from birth and she is the only one who learned it. Makes total sense what he says.
This so related to adopted guys, alcoholics. Smack. But mostly I noticed it wasn't their lives that the trauma occured in but inherited in DNA. A lot commited suicide. Gabor is a Saint in our time. Bravely speaking the truth.
I simply cannot get enough of listening to this man! Wow, so much of what he says already made sense to me and so much that makes more sense now after hearing him speak
I am currently in school to obtain my MT certification. Massage therapy was the one of the main things that helps me get through a year of frozen shoulder. During that time I had many emotional releases on the table. And it really changed things for me. So much so that I want to be able to help people in this way. Do you have any recommendations for learning to help clients “access, process and release their trauma”?
Definitely but there is so much help out there like EMDR. Even if people can't afford therapy, You Tube has so many helpful videos. The first step to healing is awareness.
Thank you. I'm inspired by the growing awareness of this work. Our species needs to embrace it and, with some hope, will evolve toward a more compassionate culture.
I’ve been following the bar and its teachings and wisdom for decades, and it has totally changed my life. He is a gift to the world that everyone should experience. Peace, blessings and love to everyone up here. ❤
The emotional center in the brain, the limbic system, gets miswired with trauma (emotional, physical, chemical, mental ; sudden or long term ; can be one or a combination of factors) The task is to rewire the brain through cognitive exercises done consistently for several months .
Trauma is “a thing” Healing is acceptable 😌 Conflicts can collapse 🤓 Insight is love is wisdom Allow ease Recall love 🙋♀️Love you self ❤️ from self 🥰 - a self medication e-poem
I've done some broad searching over the past 6months and all these terms were new to me. I Started where dr gabore introduced me to trauma concept, however Thais Gibson, (from the personal development school) has an amazing break down on how to heal your traumas thought identifying and understanding your attachment (which can be changed) identifying your needs and tools for reprogramming your mind. And it works
My dad taught me this many yrs ago. Wisdom always leads to truth, while intelligence may be used to deceive. (Tao Te Ching) Wisdom makes you the smartest person in the room, no matter how uneducated you are. (African philosopher)
It is interesting because the sense of attachment is greater than our need to be authentic, which is what has led to the survival of humanity. That the limbic system that controls our emotional centre of the brain and found in all mammals is necessary for surivial - it is a sacrifice of "self" for "other" because it led to our greater survival in nature. How does one reconcile these two points of attachment? It is a fascinating topic and can be seen in other mammals. For example cetacean researchers identified that orca's have a larger limbic system (all delphinidae species - dolphins) than humans and has led them to theorise that "their sense of self is divided amongst the members of the pod", in essence they are one unit within themselves. I feel that humans we feel this sense as well and explains why when we lose someone or there is death (grief), that it feels as if "a part of ourselves is missing". We cannot comprehend what this grief must be like then for the dolphins, if they have a larger limbic system?!!! This lends on this topic of attachment and how it has these incredible evolutionary levels to it - it's like the yin yang - their is a price to pay for each side.
our default mode network on, "Selfing" is what we are doing Let emotions happen, they are visitors Remember to excuse them as well Let go in other words Show gratitude, for everything the small things especially, this focus makes the big things that much better, you become more present for the big things when you start to show gratitude for the small things i am slowly learning
Dr Gabor you are a gift to the world. You are saving lives without knowing. You are healing wounds without knowing. There are millions of people out there who need to listen to you in order to rediscover who they really are. God bless you
I love you Dr. Gabor🎉 your saving so many lives and helping society as a whole ! Tysm!Authenticity is so key! We can loose it as a child and it takes a lifetime to revive so I pray 🙏🏻 the young generation finds you and holds on ! Your so relatable ! 😢 happy cry ! 😊 let’s all come together ❤ right now 😊
So, I will never heal if I keep focusing on getting into a relationship with other people. That is one of the reasons why I must live alone one day. So, I can achieve authenticity and begin healing properly. I need to watch more videos on how to be comfortable being alone.
Mate has been an important voice and advocate in this whole incipient trauma “movement”, and the emergence of trauma, “healing” and the rest has benefited greatly. He’s also been a voice, among others, in pointing out some of the real shortcomings of conventional medicine. Also vital. He could do a better job of explaining some of these mechanisms - attachment, for example - so that a general audience might have a better.command of said and other topics (vital in addressing trauma, healing and the rest). - Peter
Really good questions! Love interviewers like this, that genuinely ask to understand, makes things refreshing to hear him explain things differently. Thank you
All I can say is get Dr. Gabor’s books and his latest especially ! You’ll read it and read over and over again and highlight it until you practice it ! He’s so easy to learn from ! Be yourself ! Be kind be fearless be authentic be mindful be smart! Never give up ! 😊❤ just bee 🐝
I studied psychiatry, read more books than most, took copious notes, devoted immense amounts of time and energy to self-reflection and introspection and healed my own trauma. All I can say is that Dr Gabor Mate's understanding intelligence compassion and wisdom is second to none and had I known of him and his work, my healing process would have been exponentially expedited.
So don’t kms then 💀?
He walked that path himself. While others may speak from theory, he speaks from experience, which gives his words a different wisdom. His message doesn't come from the mind but from his soul-his true self.
So as a professional now you will help way more people, since you came victorious out of your own battle.
Thanks for sharing
Those are kind words
Truly deserving of
Man as hin
So how do you deal with people who don't understand these things and try to minimize the crippling effects of chronic depression and suicidal ideation?
I have become an outcast in my "social circle" because of people's denial and wrong assumptions.
I disagree. He’s a hack. 🚮 Sincerely, be careful. He is dangerously myopic and misinformed
So powerful.. "giving up our own authenticity for the sake of attachment" = recipe for disconnection with ourselves.
Find death before death finds us ❤️🙌
Unfortunately, there is a converse element in this, too. Upon the threatened destruction of another relationship in her life, a woman I know said to her therapist, “I’m just being true to myself. What about ‘to thine own self be true’?” and her therapist responded, “Which self?” To this person, authenticity meant putting her worst inclinations forward because they were true and real rather than recognizing that internal consistency also demanded that she recognize the destructive nature of that “truth” in the relationships that she also wanted and needed just as much. When her life was all about herself and inward focus, she was miserable just as she was if she wasn’t sharing transparently and being seen honestly.
So powerful !
Death is freedom!
I felt your comment to the depths of my soul. That describes the first fifty years of my life.
“Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
or happens to you as per profession, family life etc
I don’t like this because it just blames the victim.
Irrelevant whether a victim or not its inside you, the nervous system is dystegulated irrelevant of blame and needs awareness and recovery
@@josiehewingEXACTLY!!
This is just fancy pants terminology ffs...
what privilege to listen to this man. He talks human
Gabor Maté is an amazingly knowledgeable man that has been an absolute blessing to my life.
He's the 'human' whisperer.
Was a really awesome talk. He hit on so many points. The presenter was great as well.
That’s a beautiful summarizing phrase: Dr. Mate’ *talks human*.
Are you for real or a Bot?
In childhood I had a 5 years older sister who was, and still is at 69, the "poster child" for female psychopathy.
I was diagnosed, decades ago, with major depressive disorder, major anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. In 1998 a social security panel of physicians judged me to be "totally and permanently disabled, unemployable".
Since then I've finally gotten sober and clean, (09/20/2018), and by practicing Zen Buddhism, a la Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn, and reading and watching Dr. Maté, I'm finally feeling much better and reasonably happy, consistently.
Of course I'm 64 years old now 🙄, but it's fine.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called, 'the present'".😉🙏💖🙏
You're healing right on time Louise ♥️
@@marie_es Gh.
King Fu Panda is criminally underrated
@@joshjacobson932 land slide vite in a tibogan. With second downhill slope. Tu very freely.
BPD women are almost always demonizing the people close to them, calling there sister a psychopath is common BPD antagonistic behavior, so is being addicted to drugs and pushing boundaries of other people AS FAR AS THEY LET THEM. And the disorder generally does not subside until they are old. A significant bpd trait is demonizing others to avoid processing the guilt that they SHOULD be feeling
My parents got divorced before I was born, and my mom left me with my narcissistic grandma until 7. Every time she came to visit I cried and begged her to take me, but she left anyway and blamed me for putting on a crying show to make her feel bad. Throughout my childhood and teen years, her strategy was to expose me to all kinds of pains and prep me for the tough world. I was constantly punished physically and emotionally, criticized for not obeying her order or for not performing perfect in school. I was No 1 in every subject in my class but that was still not good enough. When some boys showed interest in me she would cut my hair to look stupid and mock me of being stupid to believe anyone other than her. I suffer from anxiety and depression, and finally an eating disorder which I am still trying to recover from. I hope one day I can find myself and truly learn to love myself and heal my trauma.
Sorry you went through that.
❤❤❤
Hang on tight to yourself because if we keep trying for authenticity we will get there, painful though it may be. My parents also hated me, ignorned me and invalidated me in so many ways. I know anxiety and depression, and at 67, I am healing and getting more in touch with myself. One day, and it may not be so far away, you will love yourself more and you will heal. Keep on going! Keep hope.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. You sound like a survivor who is strong. Your story will heal others and help them indetify their strengths. Know that you are loved and you deserve the world ❤
Sorry to be in the hands of evil, make sure YOU are not like it, be your authentic self without this input. Heal through others kinder people, therapists etc. Much luck to you xx
Letting your children being authentic is one of the greatest gifts you can do as a parent. And it is very easy to do because authenticity feeds itself for life.
and then watch them fail in a posthuman corporate machine-like algorhytmic wold
Both my parents were authentically miserable and dumped their misery burdens on me. It would've been better if they faked being nice.
i disagree with this partially. "Letting your kids be authentic" can lead to not parenting at all and justnletting them get into any destructive behavior for the sake of "being authentic". Ive seen it happen, will smiths son is perfect example. Have you seen him in interviews hes an asshole and doesnt care about anybody. Children need guidelines and barriers of livinf and thought to be expkained by their parents. Period.
being authentic-- is a great way to demo for our children--
I love what you say Kristine x
This is why accepting and embracing people with addictions works better than judging, excluding them from society, and punishing them. People can be authentic when they feel safe and accepted. People only lie when they know they’ll be judged or punished for telling the truth.
DITTO 🎯🙏🏽🎯
Why would we want to judge and punish someone who has gone through so much trauma and lack of love/getting their needs met that it leads them to addictions to cope anyway? It's like we have this idea that people get addicted to things for fun or because they're lazy.. They're suffering and need our help
Don't be foolish. Living with drug addicts can be hell, especially alcool addicts; It will ruin your life.
@@YagrumBagarn a lot of addicts suffer their addiction alone because they don’t want to burden anyone.
Nobody said anything about living with addicts or alcoholics.
And setting boundaries for oneself and BACKING them up confidently is the goal.
I’s tough to do it for many of us. Lots of people aren’t able to set boundaries well. therefore all kinds of people walk all over them.. not just addicts - clean or not or alcoholics- sober or not.
Addiction and alcoholism are DISEASES someone can be addicted to a non-drug substance- “Chocolate”- for instance is very addictive and a person may choose to create a pattern of eating chocolate whenever they have emotional turbulence etc. one definitely ears plenty of it during their many crises in life as an avoidance. It is just as degrading to be addicted to chocolate as to be addicted to drugs or alcohol. It damages MANY lives and causes obesity etc. I suppose it can take longer than a drug constantly being used does to destroy but not necessarily. People will judge (some even call THAT, Judging an addiction).
Shame and debilitating compulsions to KEEP on GETTING THE SUBSTANCE into your body rules one’s life in all addictions unless they’re fortunate enough to have enough mind abilities within themselves and willingness to make changes. Childhood trauma is HARD AS HELL on us all, maybe an entire EARTH full of compassionate and kind people is needed instead of a negative push ri NOT BE FOOLISH like the guy a couple comments before mine was sharing. Maybe he had not set good, solid boundaries with an addict or alcoholic.. positive input was what was lacking in our childhood so although I may think em, i find it better to stfu when my words harm another on purpose, even absentminded. Words crush people and show where a person has an issue if some kind within.
1:51
“When you’re not known, then no matter how many people surround you, you will feel alone.”
🤯
Authenticity in this society is seen as unprofessional and "problematic". It's infuriating and why I'm stepping away from the online world while I recalibrate myself and heal my trauma instead of subjecting and destroying myself for the projections of others who can't handle being honest with themselves and are intimidated by someone who is.
So much of what Gabor Mate says are the exact realizations I've worked through in the past half decade. It's so refreshing to hear someone saying all of the things I couldn't write down and get out due to trauma.
SHOTS FIRED MEN
@@Pelis_Chilangobythesea No shots fired, just an observation applicable to my life about the authenticity people say they seek in others and how it has not worked for me as I try to recover from severe physical and mental health/trauma that deeply impacts my every day life. Until I can get to a better place of mental stability in my life, I will never be able to be authentic and heal at the same time under the pressures of contradicting narratives pushed by society. I am helping no one with my social media presence, including myself, so I am seeking to remove myself from what is distracting me from healing in my real life.
@@afairshare en español por favor traducir.
O eres auténtico o eres amado.en una sociedad tienes que adaptarte a canones de civismo. en una relación de pareja siempre hay un elemento de misterio. amar no tiene un fin ni un inicio, es solo un proceso de conocerse, es simplemente deceptivo. A lo largo de mi vida se me ha dicho que soy muy auténtico, y humilde, es frustrante que te llamen sentimental e intenso, si embargo creo que convivo conmigo mismo. Ahora Jung , Peterson junto con la escuela estoica, piensan en corregir el niño interior, callarlo y adatarlo. es necesario y es el sufrimiento que paga la humanidad. Nuestra patria es nuestro padre nos enseña como vivir, nuestro mayor enemigo nos impone maneras de pensar. De dónde viene la autenticidad de las cosas.
@OneOFThese NotLikeTheOther do you mean someone targeted me?
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
@michealharris3221Does dr.sporess ship?
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
Dr.spores is the best, he's been my supplier for anything psychedelics.
A whole lot of people all over the world are walking around with trauma within and it’s showing up in all kinds of destructive ways. I hope everyone gets an opportunity to listen to Gabor, he’s a gift.
Not a whole lot! … just about every person sadly
Fully agree ❤️
Like our current U.S. administration? 🤣
I know I am destructive that's why I am hiding and isolating for the past three years to face my trauma.
@@marcgleeson1599 Yes, the majority. Some are just better at coping. We are the walking wounded.
Thank you. God I'm so sick of these meaningless diagnoses that don't do anything. Band aids on core wounds. I hate our pathetic mental health system. It's failed not just me, not just my family, not just nearly everyone I know, not just every mental health disaster I've worked within, but nearly everyone, in some way. I'm furious.
This man is a genius but it makes me so devastated because he's not the norm, and not nearly enough people will benefit from this. I'm so sick of toxic selfish, oblivious disgusting people abusing others.
Same here!
Diagnosis isn’t the cure, it’s a target. You have to do the work.
Therapy isn’t psych surgery. What ails you can’t be cut out by the therapist. Recovery is a long and arduous process and re-integration is much harder.
@@deadinside8781sometimes one has to accept recovery isn’t possible and that we are just damaged beyond repair. Like being an amputee. Gotta do the best you can with the disability.
I know how you feel and agree that you have a valid point. My analysis of the mental health system is that it really does not exist, what does exist is a "shut up and go away system." A major problem with being a caring, open and authentic person is that it does not pay very well. The society I inhabit is transactional to a very great degree. These transactions encourage inflating what "one" has to offer and deflating what the "other" has to offer. There are many broken systems that come to mind. Mental Health, Health, Banking, Financial Services, Food, water, Insurance, Local, City, County, State, Federal and International Government(s), Education, Religion(s), transportation and Construction. Apparently nothing is OK????
Repressing emotions was my survival to remain a part of the family. 😟
Nobody explains and understands childhood trauma as well as Dr. Mate. I’ve gone through therapy due to my childhood trauma, but it was fruitless. Dr. Mate made me feel like he understood me even when I’ve never met him. This resonates with me completely and now I understand why I have a hard time connecting with anyone in my life 😢
I'm sorry we were abused, hope you are feeling well now.
And when we nurture that part of us that someone else couldn’t or didn’t, we can heal and become whole again.
🌿🌷💚🌷🌿
@@DenieceSmithRealtor 🌹♥️🌹
@@thomashassall96 🌿💚🌿
The comment sections under Gabor Matè videos are always so wholesome and compassionate. I hope he sees and feels his impact! He's such a gift to humanity.
I got a massage weeks after a miscarriage and I cried … i could not stop it. The massage therapist was so kind and understanding. She said I needed to release. She was right. Great experience ❤️🇨🇦
He mentions: "the body keeps the score" from Bessel van der Kolk 5:10. That book was the first book that understood me and all my problems. Thank you for mentioning that, Gabor Maté. You deserve the Nobel Peace Prize.
Indeed. Body Keeps Score is riveting.
agree. It is what made me push myself with Sports, fitness and hopefully meditation soon. Meditation is still very hard for me cause my wounds are very deep, the ADD is super strong with me.
Whats the book called
@@sarahal-taay1965 It's called: 'the body keeps the score' and the writer is Bessel Van Der Kolk.
I just bought it
I have used a very similar saying for years. “We are only intelligent enough to be the creators of our own destruction.”
11:57 authenticity and the freedom to express myself and not be shut down by my supposed loved one is exactly what I’m seeking right now.
Probably one of the most authentic and worthwhile self-help author out there. Worth getting his whole collection of books.
He’s very brave and authentic, been following him for a long time. Teacher who is still a student. The best kind! 👏🏽
Yes, I agree. And Collete Streicher is another.
I once went to a spa salon for massage. I started crying and sobbing and couldn't calm down for quite a while afterwards. The feeling of being cared for, looked after, felt unbearable. I used to hate myself and punish myself constantly and now I work on healing from that. That massage session was a step in this process
Childhood trauma is so So damaging My Parents should Have never had Children ,Even as a 60yr old woman I still carry this and have dealt with it so many times But it returns ,My coping strategies are to Block It like it never happened Fight or Flight is easier to cope with than constantly reliving it in My sleep
This man has so much humanity that we all need.
He brings so much peace inside us and between us. I think he deserves the Nobel peace prize!
@@carmenl163 That’s interesting. I’ve always thought that Marshall Rosenberg would get the Nobel Prize for studying peaceful cultures and developing Nonviolent Communication (which addresses that practical applications of Gabor’s work). He hasn’t yet. 🤔
@@aninsidestory I would support him getting the Nobel peace prize as well! There are some fantastic teachers out there who are not recognized enough, I think. They are teaching us inner peace, which is the best way to outer peace. Byron Katie and Breneé Brown are candidates, too, in my view.
@@carmenl163 Yes, a big thumbs up to Byron Katie. I have a 'should' story in my head about Brene Brown. I can't get past that she is an academic researcher who studies shame, emotions and culture and she has not ever referenced Marshall Rosenberg or NVC to my knowledge. If you can help me see my way past this, I would be grateful. 🙂
Humanity, authenticity, and care. He really cares! He know what we really need to heal. Such an inspiring man. All therapists should learn from him.
That last line about having all sorts of logic and science but not having wisdom is of the utmost significants for both individuals and the human species. If we don't grow in wisdom, we are bound to destroy ourselves with the instruments that our so called logical minds have created.
The issue is that in order to gain wisdom we have to actually act on these new changes or way of thinking. All these self help books just kinda keep us on a information overload loop... I wish there were more popular programs available to help us all get there.
This has made me realise why I am like I am..the need for attachment after being rejected for the first twenty odd years of my life..extraordinary that at 78 years of age this video has taken me back but made me understand..why..I feel relieved..happy that I had to cope but now knowing I have this coping mechanism a strength I acquired as a result of rejection..now I know why I need attachment..now I can move away from that..thank you Gabor..
Awwww Gabor you made me cry, you are so amazing. Thank you for being alive and giving so much to people who have trauma in their lives.
Seeing these comments give me hope for humanity. The sheer number of people who have been touched by Dr. Maté's teachings renews my faith.
I am very grateful for your kind words and understanding what trauma is and can do to the child and how much can affect her or his adult life. I find very difficult to express my emotions, feelings, anxiety, fear, depression, because of what I went through during my childhood, the rejection the abuse physical mentally emotionally and sexually. I did not understand any of this until I was an adult. I understand now that all of that was caused because of my childhood trauma. thank your for the support and help you other people.
Sexual abuse is the most damaging of them all.. Please look in your community for a group support.. I find it easier when you’re surrounded by other women with whom we can share the same experiences and there you can open up and start talking without feeling ashamed
He is truly magnificent, and if it wasn’t for all the things that he put himself through as a child, after having certain experiences and his perception of those experiences, we would not have the knowledge or wisdom that he came here to share with all of us to help us through our darkest times, and help us to embrace our own light
I just wanna say thank you from the depths of my heart
i mean this is known for centuries on many oriental wisdom
The tears they fall like diamonds from my eyes and I can not afford it.
I found your comment so striking and was moved - is this a song lyric, a quote or your words?
better thatn being dissociated and not being able to cry at all for ten years. that will kill ya. of this i know/
I was separated from my mother a few weeks after birth , spent nine months in a babies home and then adopted ,this explains my lifelong difficulties with depression , anxiety and addiction so well . Adoption is Trauma . Thankyou Gabor .😢
❤
@@Mary-ug1et Thanks Mary ❤️
Dude...what are you staying? Adoption is trauma?
Abandonment is trauma, adoption is what allowed you the luxury of being able to think about these things instead of the alternative, like being dead or having to fend for yourself. Not cool, man.
Adoption does not always work out plus it is the loss of the mother Read Nancy Verrier The Primal Wound
I got the book "The Myth of Normal" in hand...what an introspective piece it is.The more I am reading and listening him the more clarity I am getting of myself and the more I am drawn to listen him.Thanks a lot doctor.You are a blessing to us.
Wow I have to wait for 2 days before the book is coming out in the Netherlands!!
Can this book heal childhood trauma.
Trauma is not what happens to you - it is what happens in your body/mind as a result of what happens to you. It is a reaction to what happened to you.
Hey, fabulous people. Look how much you care about yourself by listening to stuff like this. Keep going and it keeps getting better. 🤗🤗🤗
I suddenly started feeling lost as a 14-year-old. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I wanted to be 'cool', and I wanted my evenings to be about more than just homework. But that pursuit led me nowhere. I stopped performing well at school and stopped feeling peaceful and joyful. I spent the next 20 years wanting to return to the state before 14, but got more and more exhausted in the process. 2.5 years ago, life came to a screeching halt. I felt like it was my chance to turn it around but I have to say these years have been the worst years of my life. My self esteem was never lower, my financial losses never this bad, my physical fitness never so poor, I was never more lonely and my decisions never more illogical. I'm 36 now, and I feel like what I'm going through now is the worst phase of my life.
how are you now?
This man can change and save lifes . He is amazing calming and his voice needs to be heard
I would add that the authenticity is not only about being highly in-tune with our own unarticulated judgments, emotions, and presence in the moment, but also about being in-tune with others who are central to our lives as accurately as possible--working hard and taking some risks to achieve this. Assumptions are deadly, and we live in a time in which we are too easily replacing intensive effort to understand others with an adoption of this or that conviction that we hear repeated in social media, especially, about how someone "like that" _always_ thinks, feels, what motivates them, etc. Especially in the last ten years or so, I have witnessed an extraordinary level of strain in relationships, and broken relationships, that have been based as much on assumptions and a lack of authentic, effective communication--including an unwillingness to challenge what seems wrong and fight for a relationship that really matters--as on anything that is definitively real.
All these information has saved my life!!!
After hearing Gabor, Peter Levine and other doctors I found somatic experiencing the missing peace of my healing journey.
Thank you Gabor Mate!
Every talk from Dr Mate I have listened to has been helpful I was thinking of ways to release resentment in my heart and he is living proof that trauma doesn't have to be a life sentence. My parents weren't very affectionate and it was painful to see how much suffering we endure throughout our lives when our parents aren't invested in parenthood. My sister was in a devastating accident in 2013 that left her with frontal lobe damage and she was unable to care for herself my younger sister and I had the responsibility of handling her care because my parents weren't helping in any way. I believe till this day she died of a broken heart in 2018 and I had so much anger and resentment toward my parents. Now I am learning to try to relate to their upbringing and it has helped me to deal with the pain of their neglect and in trying to understand their feelings it has been healing to me.
Alignment of our 3 brains is True Wisdom and True Awareness. I really enjoy to listen to Dr. Gabor. "What is not known is alone," is another great quote in this video. Thanks for sharing.
I love this man, his language is universal, Pain. The more i understands it, the more i embrace myself.
What a blessing and gift to humanity this wise person is! Thank you 🙏
I am so glad I discovered this man recently. His wisdom speaks volumes to me!
A privilege to have Dr Gaboor as a resource....❤
trauma is a spiritual wound....that medication cannot heal. Medication is for physical wounds. Trauma needs spiritual medication. The cause of trauma most often starts in a physical form: sound, touch, taste, smell, sight. The effect it then has on the inside is the trauma. Upon receiving the negative experiencing we begin to make meaning through stories that we believe to be true about ourselves.
Well said.
That's amazing. Thanks.
I love what you wrote, can you explain the last sentence a little bit, is it really finding out who you are by thinking about your negative thoughts ?
@@patriciaredmond3996 We process our experiences in search of meaning then we choose one theory about the experience as true. The choice we make reinforces an emotion that seems familiar to us. We then hold on to the emotion and the theory we have about the experience...until it is automated in our brain.
@@aquickstory2196 thank you, I'm going to really think about that
He is the best childhood trauma survivor 2yrs 6months sober and gave up gambling also always speak up about it dont bottle it up no matter the pain going through get honest with yourself saved my life he knows what he talking about
Absolutely!!!! With massage therapy i get back to huge amounts of memories, moments, emotions, very precise details of the events etc…
Super power unlocked: Understanding the self! So much has become clear abs still there is so much left to explore. I am changed. Thank you, Dr. Mate!
He has helped me heal in so many ways. This fabulous man helped me look internally to heal as I always looked externally only to cause more harm to my whole being.....Then I was shown his work and I believed all he said. I had more than 1 childhood traumatic experiences that made me shut down and not express my feelings and emotions. This brought me to be a long-term addict that has crone's disease diagnosed when I was 24. I kept doing harder drugs to not FEEL the pain of this disease also to push it down as that had been my coping mechanism. In 2013 I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis n told I'd be in a wheelchair in 6months. It took me out, my whole left side not functioning properly at all. I had been studying to be a therapist for 3.5yrs before I got MS. Because of the knowledge I had learnt I knew I had tools to get in control of my dis-eases UNEASE IN MYSELF so I used these tools to enhance my self-belief and self-reliance. After 8months of letting my conditions debilitate me I rose above them and took back the control of my mind body and soul allowing my spirit to help me function again as best as I could, just differently from the ways I knew which allowed me to live a life of new experiences and hope. This is when I was shown Gabor Matēs completely ' out of the norm' information and I live by this man's informative knowledgeable insights and researched hands on experience. It's now 2022 & I am slowly yet surely healing from the inside out leading me to believe I will never be in a wheelchair but I will be helping others to rise above their dis-eases with the power of positive thinking & making sure movement is key in their everyday life. NAMASTE GABOR MATÉ 🙏♥️💓
@@rachelcaldwell330 you are an inspiration. Dr. Maté's work is groundbreaking. I am just beginning my journey back to self, so hearing your healing journey is definitely inspirational.
Most of the more severe illnesses happen to people by an upsetting event happening in their lives that takes them by surprise, unexpectedly, impacting first in the brain, then in the corresponding organ which that part of the brain controls. The end of WWI had absolutely everything to do with the Flu and lung TB outbreak that occurred killing millions. In nature, the biological conflict linked with a territorial fear (just what it means-a fear in your territory, your home, your community, etc.) is a widening of the bronchia (tissue loss). Your body attempts to widen your bronchia in order to allow more air into your lungs to give you more strength and energy to fight to keep your territory safe. Stay with me.......The biological conflict linked with a death fright impacts the lungs. The lungs attempt to grow larger in order to allow more air in because breath equals life, as we all know. No breath equals death. Why are so many people across the world suddenly having their appendix removed? The appendix is associated with “being in fear for one’s life”. The HEALING phase is the rupture/inflammation.
While you are in the fear or death fright conflict, you notice no symptoms of “disease”, except you have cold hands, cold feet, you can’t sleep, you awaken at 3 AM every night, you have little appetite. During the war, millions of people were in fear of the bombing of their homes and cities where the war was most active. Fearing for their lives, their loved ones in the war, their ability to survive. The food in the stores was sparse due to shortages. This lasted for 4 long years! The longer the conflict, the worse the healing phase. Within 2 weeks of the German Chancellor announcing the end of WWI, these millions of people ALL went into the healing phase all at the same time. It is during the healing phase that you experience symptoms of illness! What is the healing phase of the bronchia widening? Severe bronchitis, pneumonia. The body attempts to refill this lost tissue and you experience inflammation, fever, coughing, body aches, fatigue, etc. What is the healing phase of the extra lung tissue that grew? Decomposing of the tissue by TB bacteria and fungi. The symptoms of this healing phase are: severe coughing up of blood and tissue, fever, inflammation, severe mucous, body aches, fatigue. During this decomposing of the extra tissue (tumor), the body expels a lot of protein, and without replenishment, severe protein loss can result in death. Antibiotics did not exist yet. If TB bacteria does not exist in a person or they have been vaccinated against TB (big mistake), then the tumor will simply encapsulate and become dormant and not harm you. Who died during the Spanish Flu? Mainly the poor who could not afford to buy meat and proper nourishment, and the people who were directly impacted by the bombings and destruction of their homes.
Millions of people suffered fear and death frights during the fighting of WWI, and millions of people all went into healing at the end of it. Not everyone was affected because not everyone suffered the same way.
It’s not a “flu”, it’s not something you “catch”. It’s biological, meaningful, and unavoidable. One hundred years later, a Fear Campaign begins, using the media to spread it......
Wow!
He describes my world really well.
I’ve been trying to explain for years.
BPD. Manic Depression. Similar disorders, Same BPD.
13:17 “something happened” To me when I cried as a toddler and my mother tried to strangle me to death. 35 years later and I have innumerable attachment wounds with people who beg me, either implicitly or explicitly, to shut up and stop expressing my natural human feelings. I’m divorcing from someone that’s made me feel this way for over a year now and I feel like my true authentic life is about to begin.
It hurts when people you expect to love and understand you make matters worse. Love can change a person faster than judgement will.
I can totally relate to this. I've had tons of trauma in my lifetime - some very extreme. I totally believe that the trauma I experienced as a pre-verbal two-year-old is the one that has had the biggest effect on me. I love his work on addiction. I used to show his YT video: The Brain and Addiction to my clients. It very scientifically related the craving for substances to the human brain. It was a way of helping them to drop the "baggage," and begin the healing journey. He has helped so many people that he'll never even know...
My brothers teased me because they Loved me. So the rest of my life if anyone teased me..I thought they Loved me! All my interpretation! 😊❤
Totally agree, I went through an Inner Child program with The Inner Council and major shifts have happened in my life. All emotions are to be validated, then review the triggers and remove the emotional charges. Calm, clear minded, happy.
Trauma is very much embedded in the body. I often have to surrender to my body screaming at me about the trauma that is still unresolved.
Although now separated for some years, the most important trait in a man is authenticity. My husband and the few other men I have loved thru life (not many 🥰) have all possessed this admirable
personality trait.
Dr. Gabor is a soul seeker and so right about the right brain ! Left handers have this advantage , left is right! We , as a lefty , develop sympathy, kindness, true awareness and compassion towards others but do be sure not to get trapped and know your right brain for the difference and concrete truths bc people can take advantage and not understand you and then your trapped! Stay authentic ! 😊❤
Dr Gabor is such a Gift to all….his work is filled compassion, knowledge and truth, giving clarity into our behaviors and minds, is priceless… The insight and understanding to deceases that many have had to suffer with…. And there is no judgment nor blame at all …..
This line was Great in this interview….Not to be known is to feel Alone…. How we learn to talk before we talk and how our brain absorbs what we obverse, how our triggers are only the match to the underlying trauma and pain we carry inside the stuff people don’t want to discuss….Dr Gabor’s work and dedication is giving Hope and life to many. I believe everyone suffers from some form of an emotional gap, their no perfect…thank you Dr Gabor your work is a Beautiful Gift of Hope in this journey of a life….Grateful 🙏
What good fortune we have to see and hear this wise, wise old man mentoring us ❤️ Beyond fabulous.
Why is his age relevant?
I don’t see him as THAT old!!!
Old man?
@@flynnzilla8796 lived a long time, learned a great deal. Accumulated knowledge, experience through the years. The word ‘old’ is not a criticism
@@flynnzilla8796 aye child ,trauma makes us unkind why Dr G mentioned we destructive species.smh
Been listening to him for a few hours just realized he talks just like John Depp
I've been true to myself and authentic. Being authentic AND verbal about it is a good way to inspire hateful people to interfere with your life and goals. It is those people who repeatedly attempt to wound you over and over again.
Authenticity has NOT helped me. It has only made enemies out of people who would have otherwise ignored me.
Don't be authentic. Hold your closest dreams inside and then reach them silently.
They may try but it is great you see it for what it is so you can dismiss it.
Brilliant, and authentic. “The brain is connected to the heart.” Filled with gratitude & grace for this enlightening moment. Indeed, “Ye shall know thy truth, and the truth shall make you free ,” (John 8:32)✨
Life changing❤
This is so overwhelmingly enlightening for me. Cutting right through all of the noise and putting this experience into words. Thank you💚
This wonderful gentleman saved my life! Thank you for your incredible work, Dr. Mate Thank you for just existing in this world!!
I have such a deep respect for Gabor
i was over protected by my father and siblings and put down verbally by mother I love your knowledge I love finding out the truth
Packed with profound insights like repeated one-two punches.
I wish I could have learned about this doctor before. I have been waiting for my two kids to learn how to talk to then teach them my native language and none of them have learned it, my last child I began to speak my native language from birth and she is the only one who learned it. Makes total sense what he says.
This so related to adopted guys, alcoholics. Smack. But mostly I noticed it wasn't their lives that the trauma occured in but inherited in DNA. A lot commited suicide. Gabor is a Saint in our time. Bravely speaking the truth.
I simply cannot get enough of listening to this man! Wow, so much of what he says already made sense to me and so much that makes more sense now after hearing him speak
Yessss!! Body keeps the score. LMT here. My purpose is helping human beings access, process and release trauma. ❤
I am currently in school to obtain my MT certification. Massage therapy was the one of the main things that helps me get through a year of frozen shoulder. During that time I had many emotional releases on the table. And it really changed things for me. So much so that I want to be able to help people in this way. Do you have any recommendations for learning to help clients “access, process and release their trauma”?
Important work. Bless you.
This man is a gift. Thank you GM!
Dr Gabor Mate i believe is one enlightened genius. ❤️🙏🙂🤗
This is so TRUE for people who have been through this. It is SO HARD
Definitely but there is so much help out there like EMDR. Even if people can't afford therapy, You Tube has so many helpful videos. The first step to healing is awareness.
Thank you. I'm inspired by the growing awareness of this work. Our species needs to embrace it and, with some hope, will evolve toward a more compassionate culture.
If you are not known you will feel alone.. I know this, amazing author, authenticity is powerful
I’ve been following the bar and its teachings and wisdom for decades, and it has totally changed my life. He is a gift to the world that everyone should experience.
Peace, blessings and love to everyone up here. ❤
Such a privilege to learn from a man of infinite wisdom. Looking forward to my healing journey because of Dr Gabor Mate🙏.
The emotional center in the brain, the limbic system, gets miswired with trauma (emotional, physical, chemical, mental ; sudden or long term ; can be one or a combination of factors)
The task is to rewire the brain through cognitive exercises done consistently for several months .
Such a gift to humanity..he must never die ❤️
Trauma is “a thing”
Healing is acceptable 😌
Conflicts can collapse 🤓
Insight is love is wisdom
Allow ease
Recall love
🙋♀️Love you self ❤️ from self 🥰 - a self medication e-poem
Lovely. 🙏🏼
Nice
Love this 👊🏽✊🏼🙌❤
He's 100% correct & talking about your basic hardwired programmes, & the triggering often isn't even conscious!
I've done some broad searching over the past 6months and all these terms were new to me. I Started where dr gabore introduced me to trauma concept, however Thais Gibson, (from the personal development school) has an amazing break down on how to heal your traumas thought identifying and understanding your attachment (which can be changed) identifying your needs and tools for reprogramming your mind. And it works
Gabor is amazing.. so much of what he says just rings so true
You can be smart, intelligent But don't have wisdom... I think this sentence Said it all
My dad taught me this many yrs ago.
Wisdom always leads to truth, while intelligence may be used to deceive. (Tao Te Ching)
Wisdom makes you the smartest person in the room, no matter how uneducated you are. (African philosopher)
This is one of the single most enlightening interviews I've seen. Thank you for sharing. ❤❤❤
Love Gabor Mate, he's so calming to listen to
Thank you sir. You have such an important message. You are literally saving lives. God bless you. ⚜
It is interesting because the sense of attachment is greater than our need to be authentic, which is what has led to the survival of humanity. That the limbic system that controls our emotional centre of the brain and found in all mammals is necessary for surivial - it is a sacrifice of "self" for "other" because it led to our greater survival in nature. How does one reconcile these two points of attachment? It is a fascinating topic and can be seen in other mammals. For example cetacean researchers identified that orca's have a larger limbic system (all delphinidae species - dolphins) than humans and has led them to theorise that "their sense of self is divided amongst the members of the pod", in essence they are one unit within themselves. I feel that humans we feel this sense as well and explains why when we lose someone or there is death (grief), that it feels as if "a part of ourselves is missing". We cannot comprehend what this grief must be like then for the dolphins, if they have a larger limbic system?!!! This lends on this topic of attachment and how it has these incredible evolutionary levels to it - it's like the yin yang - their is a price to pay for each side.
our default mode network on,
"Selfing" is what we are doing
Let emotions happen, they are visitors
Remember to excuse them as well
Let go in other words
Show gratitude, for everything the small things especially, this focus makes the big things that much better, you become more present for the big things when you start to show gratitude for the small things
i am slowly learning
Dr Gabor you are a gift to the world. You are saving lives without knowing. You are healing wounds without knowing. There are millions of people out there who need to listen to you in order to rediscover who they really are. God bless you
I love you Dr. Gabor🎉 your saving so many lives and helping society as a whole ! Tysm!Authenticity is so key! We can loose it as a child and it takes a lifetime to revive so I pray 🙏🏻 the young generation finds you and holds on ! Your so relatable ! 😢 happy cry ! 😊 let’s all come together ❤ right now 😊
Again wisdom is the answer to most of our problems
So, I will never heal if I keep focusing on getting into a relationship with other people. That is one of the reasons why I must live alone one day. So, I can achieve authenticity and begin healing properly. I need to watch more videos on how to be comfortable being alone.
I love this man and his wisdom 🙏
Mate has been an important voice and advocate in this whole incipient trauma “movement”, and the emergence of trauma, “healing” and the rest has benefited greatly.
He’s also been a voice, among others, in pointing out some of the real shortcomings of conventional medicine. Also vital.
He could do a better job of explaining some of these mechanisms - attachment, for example - so that a general audience might have a better.command of said and other topics (vital in addressing trauma, healing and the rest).
- Peter
Really good questions! Love interviewers like this, that genuinely ask to understand, makes things refreshing to hear him explain things differently. Thank you
All I can say is get Dr. Gabor’s books and his latest especially ! You’ll read it and read over and over again and highlight it until you practice it ! He’s so easy to learn from ! Be yourself ! Be kind be fearless be authentic be mindful be smart! Never give up ! 😊❤ just bee 🐝
Which book do you recommend starting off with first
We are thank ful your mother gave you to a stranger.