Man I really like how you’re not afraid to admit that you felt this way in an effort to truly relate to people. We appreciate feeling understood and I hope this inspires everyone to pay it forward by going out there, kicking ass and teaching what you’ve learned to the next person. It could literally save somebody else’s life
You deserve way more subscribers man. I love your drive for self-improvement and your honesty about the struggles you and a lot of people go through. I think the speed of your voice can be a bit too fast at times, but other than that these videos are top tier man.
It's a problem in the west. I have a friend who lived in Canada for 10 years and said life became boring for 3 years. For the first few years you'll be busy exploring new stuff, talking to different races of people or women and experiencing western cuisines. After a while it became boring to him and he became lonely. Ig its that western culture . He says foreigners dont even hang out with their friends other than going to restaurants or to the gym. Here in india its totally different. Its like you're always filled with people. Your neighbours, friends, plenty of stuff to do. We have been friends for 16 years and we still hang out. We play sports, drink together and go on trips.
The beginning story was my every day at school in 9th grade. Then corona happened that year which was a massive up for me because it allowed me to not feel the shame of sitting by myself near the vending machines or bathroom at lunch.
Congrats, Ali - great content and really good points captured in many of your videos 👍 Here's a suggestion for a next one - the courage to select our close friends, especially to asses and to churn old but current friendships, when it's ok to give mote chances OR to let go of people we know from childhood..a challenge for everyone 💫
Love your videos man! I couldn't help to say your deadlift form is almost perfect but I would suggest keeping your head looking forward instead of up so that your spine stays aligned during the entire movement. You may tweak your neck if you keep straining to look up like that.
Great advice! HMU if you're ever down in Atlanta for a workout or to check out the mma/fighting gym I train at. 2023 is my year of finally finding new friends... wish me luck! XD
It's not about what you look like trust me go look up the chosen ones on RUclips there are some goodlooking men and women who are lonely never had friends or girlfriends and these people look good it depends on social status
Hello, i hope this finds you well. Here is the updated comment. There is a solution. There are 3 parts: what you do during social interaction, lifestyle outside of social interaction, and the self. For social interaction, start off with small talk. To move past small talk, just use the vertical questioning techique after small talk. This gets you into vulnerability through middle talk. As the person is talking, pay full attention by listening. Drop your thoughts.. Be attuned to the emotions and share in the emotions. People feel more connected to you when you listen so they feel understood as well as being attuned to their emotions. Relate back to the comments. Once the topic has been exhausted, mention something they previously mentioned and ask a vertical question to dig deeper. When you are doing the talking, speak from the inner spirit Remember, the grand majority of human conversation is socio-emotional. The small portion is verbal. It is just a matter of tapping into the socio-emotional channel. For lifestyle we will use a backwards approach. Live your own lifestyle and be interesting. Be superproactive. Live by the idea of 30000 days and make history. Make your day memorable. What interests do you have and get involved in that. If you liking baking, do that. If you want to go to a stadium concert, go to that. Travel to places geographically and enjoy it. Spend time with your family. Pursue goals In vulnerability through middle talk, the topic of conversation is lifestyle. living a lifestyle gives you stuff to throw out there to make middle talk and connect with people. In the caveman brain, we have an affiliation and trust with people we know. When we know what a person does outside of social interaction, we trust them. For the self, we take into consideration the topics we are interested and the things we like to do. We be our best selves and demonstrate our best qualities/characteristics. More importantly, we be a person of substance. People are looking for substance. Invest in yourself. Be a person of substance by - thinking big - becoming knowledgeable - building new skills - diverse experiences and stories - be well versed in many topics - prioritizing what matters in the grand scheme of things - try new things and traveling to new places - going outside of your comfort zone to explore the intricacies of the world. - Expansiveness in your life Be the beacon first and stand on your own two feet. Be ok with being alone. Be independent first to be interdependent. Do your own thing and be your own person first. Enrich and expand your world first to bring people into. Lifestyle and being your best self enables you to tap into the socio-emotional channel of human interaction. It builds vibrancy which attracts people to you. Our limbic systems reacts favourably to vibrancy. You would come from a place of wholeness where you have give, rather than take. This is a long-game big picture solution. It is an ongoing journey that you enjoy. Take it one fulfilling deep and meaningful interaction at a time, one day at a time. Keep on living your best life. It's counterintuitive. We should be more concerned with living a memorable life than getting a social life I cannot guarantee any particular results. It is quality of interpersonal relationships that matter. The quantity tends to take care of themselves. Interpersonal relationships take time. Once again, play the long game. No matter what happens, keep on living well and being your best self. I said all of this in the hopes that the above will be taken action upon and potentially change lives. Hopefully this helps. Feel free to let me know how it goes for you.
Such a sad commentary that friendship is capitalistic. You are only worth it because you've improved yourself to look better, make more money, have better social skills, etc. Unconditional love and being yourself are facades. Yikes.
when uncontrollable circumstances and unpredictable ppl cause me to have no friends on top of mental illness chronic social anxiety Depression that is not easy to snap out of and childhood trauma but this video: "Oh just be a charismatic extrovert and put urself out there" "Don't be such an introvert" "No one wants to be around a quiet person" That is the worst piss-poor advice u can ever give to a chronically lonely, suicidal, depressed person. it is stupid to assume that 100% of the human population to have an extroverted personality to make friends or are only drawn to charismatic extroverts. and what if those "friends" u made drift off when they find out you're actually not a charismatic and charming, extrovert and you only were charismatic and extroverted as a facade to desperately make friends because ur extremely lonely and u think ur introversion and social anxiety was a nuisance to others. And therefore being fake. When u fake charisma, u get ppl that are attracted to the mask and not what's under the mask. caring ppl will understand ur anxiety and introversion rather than to sweep it under a rug. Thats who u are and u can't change it this video was a waste of my time filmed by some self help guru who looks like he "cares" but genuinely cares to capitalize off of our loneliness. Ppl like this dude who have never experienced any of this themselves and then gaslight us for our loneliness and for things we cant control 90% of the time has the audacity to tell us to "just shut up and be fake". If u don't like quiet introverts with intelligent minds once u make the effort to get to know them, then thats ur problem and not mine and ur superficial. I know deep down that real genuine friends will embrace the totality of me no matter what my personality is, even if im introverted, quiet, socially awkward and not into popular trendy shit. real friends dnt give a shit if im socially anxious or introverted because at least they just stick around and support me and accept me for who i am and not for who i pretend to be It's honestly capitalism that makes making friends absolutely disgusting and sick because it's all about transactional give and take and everyone is like: "what do U have to give me for my own selfish benefits?" Like we're some product that has to offer something "interesting" rather than being human beings for the sake of being human beings and giving to ppl without expecting anything back. i hate transactional relationships with a great passion. like do u want a relationship or a business partner? seems as though the only ones who absolutely get it are the ones whove been through true loneliness and knows what its like and some guru on the internet and thinks its a walk in the park just cus he got 1000million friends and we don't
@@AB-ry7bldont care. didnt ask. and youre literally on the internet doing the exact same thing. Ur the one wasting time telling internet strangers, who dont give 2 cents about ur irrelevant opinion what to do with their life. go take ur own advice
Man I really like how you’re not afraid to admit that you felt this way in an effort to truly relate to people. We appreciate feeling understood and I hope this inspires everyone to pay it forward by going out there, kicking ass and teaching what you’ve learned to the next person. It could literally save somebody else’s life
facts bro, had to subscribe. people complaining all day but literally putting 0 work in
tfw Ali pauses every so often to roast his viewers 😂
The Loneliness Epidemic.
This has been done on purpose.
You deserve way more subscribers man. I love your drive for self-improvement and your honesty about the struggles you and a lot of people go through. I think the speed of your voice can be a bit too fast at times, but other than that these videos are top tier man.
It's a problem in the west. I have a friend who lived in Canada for 10 years and said life became boring for 3 years. For the first few years you'll be busy exploring new stuff, talking to different races of people or women and experiencing western cuisines. After a while it became boring to him and he became lonely. Ig its that western culture . He says foreigners dont even hang out with their friends other than going to restaurants or to the gym. Here in india its totally different. Its like you're always filled with people. Your neighbours, friends, plenty of stuff to do. We have been friends for 16 years and we still hang out. We play sports, drink together and go on trips.
The beginning story was my every day at school in 9th grade. Then corona happened that year which was a massive up for me because it allowed me to not feel the shame of sitting by myself near the vending machines or bathroom at lunch.
Congrats, Ali - great content and really good points captured in many of your videos 👍 Here's a suggestion for a next one - the courage to select our close friends, especially to asses and to churn old but current friendships, when it's ok to give mote chances OR to let go of people we know from childhood..a challenge for everyone 💫
As a software engineer, WFH away from everybody for long periods of time is very depressing. But working in person is also stressful.
exactly how i feel right now
I'm so glad I've found your channel! So high quality content. Congratulations!
Love your videos man! I couldn't help to say your deadlift form is almost perfect but I would suggest keeping your head looking forward instead of up so that your spine stays aligned during the entire movement. You may tweak your neck if you keep straining to look up like that.
Loving your content man. I'm an aspiring web dev and seeing some of your content from a while ago has been really useful.
I too want to watch the world burn when my Clash of Clans base gets raided.
Great advice! HMU if you're ever down in Atlanta for a workout or to check out the mma/fighting gym I train at. 2023 is my year of finally finding new friends... wish me luck! XD
I avoid people. 😢
high quality editing in these vids
It's not about what you look like trust me go look up the chosen ones on RUclips there are some goodlooking men and women who are lonely never had friends or girlfriends and these people look good it depends on social status
congrats on 30k subs
Hello, i hope this finds you well. Here is the updated comment.
There is a solution.
There are 3 parts: what you do during social interaction, lifestyle outside of social interaction, and the self.
For social interaction, start off with small talk. To move past small talk, just use the vertical questioning techique after small talk. This gets you into vulnerability through middle talk. As the person is talking, pay full attention by listening. Drop your thoughts.. Be attuned to the emotions and share in the emotions. People feel more connected to you when you listen so they feel understood as well as being attuned to their emotions. Relate back to the comments. Once the topic has been exhausted, mention something they previously mentioned and ask a vertical question to dig deeper. When you are doing the talking, speak from the inner spirit
Remember, the grand majority of human conversation is socio-emotional. The small portion is verbal. It is just a matter of tapping into the socio-emotional channel.
For lifestyle we will use a backwards approach. Live your own lifestyle and be interesting. Be superproactive. Live by the idea of 30000 days and make history. Make your day memorable. What interests do you have and get involved in that. If you liking baking, do that. If you want to go to a stadium concert, go to that. Travel to places geographically and enjoy it. Spend time with your family. Pursue goals
In vulnerability through middle talk, the topic of conversation is lifestyle. living a lifestyle gives you stuff to throw out there to make middle talk and connect with people. In the caveman brain, we have an affiliation and trust with people we know. When we know what a person does outside of social interaction, we trust them.
For the self, we take into consideration the topics we are interested and the things we like to do. We be our best selves and demonstrate our best qualities/characteristics. More importantly, we be a person of substance. People are looking for substance. Invest in yourself.
Be a person of substance by
- thinking big
- becoming knowledgeable
- building new skills
- diverse experiences and stories
- be well versed in many topics
- prioritizing what matters in the grand scheme of things
- try new things and traveling to new places
- going outside of your comfort zone to explore the intricacies of the world.
- Expansiveness in your life
Be the beacon first and stand on your own two feet. Be ok with being alone. Be independent first to be interdependent.
Do your own thing and be your own person first. Enrich and expand your world first to bring people into.
Lifestyle and being your best self enables you to tap into the socio-emotional channel of human interaction. It builds vibrancy which attracts people to you. Our limbic systems reacts favourably to vibrancy. You would come from a place of wholeness where you have give, rather than take.
This is a long-game big picture solution. It is an ongoing journey that you enjoy. Take it one fulfilling deep and meaningful interaction at a time, one day at a time. Keep on living your best life.
It's counterintuitive. We should be more concerned with living a memorable life than getting a social life
I cannot guarantee any particular results. It is quality of interpersonal relationships that matter. The quantity tends to take care of themselves. Interpersonal relationships take time. Once again, play the long game. No matter what happens, keep on living well and being your best self.
I said all of this in the hopes that the above will be taken action upon and potentially change lives. Hopefully this helps. Feel free to let me know how it goes for you.
Loving your content.
I feel like you should start a podcast
This IS his podcast!
Love your videos, keep up the good work!
Such a sad commentary that friendship is capitalistic. You are only worth it because you've improved yourself to look better, make more money, have better social skills, etc. Unconditional love and being yourself are facades. Yikes.
3:11 if you haven't had water for five days you would be dead :|
😍😍😍
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
when uncontrollable circumstances and unpredictable ppl cause me to have no friends
on top of mental illness
chronic social anxiety
Depression that is not easy to snap out of
and childhood trauma
but this video:
"Oh just be a charismatic extrovert and put urself out there"
"Don't be such an introvert"
"No one wants to be around a quiet person"
That is the worst piss-poor advice u can ever give to a chronically lonely, suicidal, depressed person.
it is stupid to assume that 100% of the human population to have an extroverted personality to make friends or are only drawn to charismatic extroverts.
and what if those "friends" u made drift off when they find out you're actually not a charismatic and charming, extrovert and you only were charismatic and extroverted as a facade to desperately make friends because ur extremely lonely and u think ur introversion and social anxiety was a nuisance to others. And therefore being fake. When u fake charisma, u get ppl that are attracted to the mask and not what's under the mask. caring ppl will understand ur anxiety and introversion rather than to sweep it under a rug. Thats who u are and u can't change it
this video was a waste of my time filmed by some self help guru who looks like he "cares" but genuinely cares to capitalize off of our loneliness. Ppl like this dude who have never experienced any of this themselves and then gaslight us for our loneliness and for things we cant control 90% of the time has the audacity to tell us to "just shut up and be fake".
If u don't like quiet introverts with intelligent minds once u make the effort to get to know them, then thats ur problem and not mine and ur superficial. I know deep down that real genuine friends will embrace the totality of me no matter what my personality is, even if im introverted, quiet, socially awkward and not into popular trendy shit. real friends dnt give a shit if im socially anxious or introverted because at least they just stick around and support me and accept me for who i am and not for who i pretend to be
It's honestly capitalism that makes making friends absolutely disgusting and sick because it's all about transactional give and take and everyone is like: "what do U have to give me for my own selfish benefits?" Like we're some product that has to offer something "interesting" rather than being human beings for the sake of being human beings and giving to ppl without expecting anything back. i hate transactional relationships with a great passion. like do u want a relationship or a business partner?
seems as though the only ones who absolutely get it are the ones whove been through true loneliness and knows what its like and some guru on the internet and thinks its a walk in the park just cus he got 1000million friends and we don't
You've written an entire essay attacking someone for giving advice. Use that effort instead to talk to people and improve yourself!
@@AB-ry7bldont care. didnt ask.
and youre literally on the internet doing the exact same thing. Ur the one wasting time telling internet strangers, who dont give 2 cents about ur irrelevant opinion what to do with their life. go take ur own advice