The detail in this interview that I can’t get past is that a grown man bragged about breaking the spirit of a 4-year-old for decades. It makes me wonder how many victims he has.
The fact that her own father put her in his hands. The way they all call slavery 'womanhood', and aspire to crush and destroy other humans... while daring to call it spiritual.
I’ve been speaking up about my own child abuse since 1979 just because someone let me know anonymously that they appreciated me speaking up as they thought they were all alone. We are not alone. We will speak up until no child is ever abused again.
Terrifyingly not alone. Just one statistic that i remember cause its so shocking and easy to remember...in south africa a girl/woman is raped every second!!! Thats how not alone we are!! What makes me angry is that if this were a mans problem, it would not exist anymore. Thank you for being so brave and speaking up so long as you have. Much love from Germany
My father once told me to "show some leg" when I had a job interview at age 17 or 18. Not a conservative Christian, but patriarchal none the less in the view of women's value being only in how they are perceived by and please men. Ugh. It was a clerical position.
Ashley's description of how the patriarchy is formulated to be abusive and how she experienced that to the extreme is so eloquently explored, what an absolutely amazing guest, thank you for sharing your story
I attended IFB churches for years. My husband at the time wasn't really into it thankfully. My children went but we're not forced. Been out of them for years. My children are grown and don't attend
@daniellewillis2767 I became depressed and suicidal. I was planning to overdose on my epilepsy medicine. But I wanted to remember my teenage years first. I started to watch music videos on RUclips. Accidentally I came across BTS. I started listening to their music. It literally saved my life. They got me out of depression, and gave me the courage to leave church and get a job.
Its so interesting hearing about this, I'm black and was raised Baptist in the south. My mom was very strict with the things i could do and had to do. I remember going to a religious daycare and school when i was younger. Plus my mom's side is the kind of Baptist that believes in spiritual work because they connect it to them working with God. So when i had depression when i was in middle school 😅 it was because i had the devil in me. They said something was wrong with and I need more God in my life to release the devil's hold on me. Even now i still struggle to not do the things i was taught. It's so nice hearing other people's experiences
How is it that these men want all the power of being in control, but none of the responsibility and accountability that comes along with a position of power? I am so sick of women being blamed for the weaknesses of men.
Wow!! I grew up in a pretty conservative Christian family and social circle. (But not isolated) I had no idea how some groups define patriarchy. I had never heard of the "stay at home daughter" beliefs before today. I can't think of a SINGLE woman in my extended family who would ever BEGIN to consider this! Men in our family have FAR too much respect for women to dream of such absurdity. TY
I'm tremendously thankful for being homeschooled. Gave me amazing education and critical thinking skills. That is definitely an advantage when it comes to questioning dominant narratives of any kind.
@@booksquid856 High quality inn well-funded public schooling also teaches critical thinking and gives an amazing education. The key terms there being "well-funded" and "high quality." Stripping public funding of public schools and turning it over to Charter schools only further degrades education. Their countries around the world with public education systems that they take pride in that resulted in an education that outstrips anything we see in America. Also, public schools at least give abused kids someplace to go and someone outside of their immediate circle to report to when abuse happens. Since the vast majority of abuse happens within family circles I can understand why homeschooling would be so popular in some circles.
Being a mom,stay at home should always be something that is discussed between the husband and wife...not everyone is going to want the same things....nothing should be forced and its so sad to think that these cults make women especially feel like we don't have choices....
‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ was the book that we had to take a class on at our ‘church’. I was homeschooled and went through so many similiar things and was a virgin until my wedding night when I had just turned 19. This podcast resonated SO much with my past!
It's a huge belief in the IFB, some of their biggest and most influential people would say things like "When babies cry that's them manipulating you because of their sin nature, you should spank them to drive the spirit of rebellion out".
Yes, Ashley! Another escapee from oppression! Your message is getting out to a lot of women! I grew up in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s-many parents of that era thought all teenagers were going to hell if we listened to rock and roll. Met my man in high school in 1975-we led each other astray and listened to rock music like crazy, and enjoyed every minute of it! Got married in 1978, and 46 years later we are still happily married. Actually, like many of our peers, we didn’t have much time to go too far astray. We were busy with doing well in school and working to earn money for gas and food and clothing; and what do you know, we didn’t go to hell after all! It angers me that there are still so many young women being crushed by their religion, supposedly in the name of God. The stay-at-home daughter thing enables couples to crank out more children than they can take care of, since they can enslave a daughter to be a babysitter. Thank you Ashley, for putting your message out there to give women hope and the courage to try to escape from these situations!
Your content has been a safe place for those who have been through this sort of spiritual and psychological abuse. Hearing other people’s stories helps me to know I’m not alone in the healing process.
I was raised in an agnostic household in the deep South. I am gay and found that the Bible belt was not a great place to live. Not only are the wages too low to live comfortably in the south eastern US, but the constant judgement and preaching by everyone is quite oppressive. My wife and I moved to a small tourist town in Utah in 2014 and it changed our lives financially, but now I see Mormons instead of southern Baptists. What I hope to see change in our society is the prevalence of indoctrinating children. The reality is that the indoctrination of children is abusive. It is brainwashing and should be illegal. Maybe one day the law will prevent most people from doing this.
Is it abusive to teach children to believe in God? Or just to believe that sex is for married couples (man and woman) Also, how can that law be enforced? No religion, no freedom of speech. Fascism. ?
@@canelareina3795 it is absolutely wrong and abusive to force a child to learn and accept religion period. Under the age of twelve or so a child can not understand these concepts. There is also the fact that when you have a child you are bringing another human into the world. You are not, in fact, building a robot that you get to program to be the "person" you want it to be. Scaring the crap out of a child with the concept of hell and damnation if they don't conform to your religion is definitely abuse. Forcing your belief system on an innocent child is also abuse. If you actually love your child, then you would leave religion out of raising them until or unless they began to ask questions. At that point you would take them to the library and check out books on all religions so that they could make up their own mind in an informed way. Enforcement looks like removing all organized religion from society and making religion a personal choice. Religion is, in and of itself, destructive to a rational society. We should not be promoting beliefs in the first place. The word belief literally means to lie to one's self.... We, as a society, should be basing our policies and laws on facts and truth, not delusional beliefs.
@@CultstoConsciousness lol. Colorado is a place I have lived. I really liked it, but again, wages are too low. I moved to the town I live in now because even MacDonald's pays twenty an hour to start. I am married to a woman who has PTSD and panic anxiety disorder and is unable to work. This means we are a single income household. Therefore I need to make more than minimum wage to live comfortably. Tourism has made it possible for me to not only earn enough to live but we also now own our own home. I still feel very bad for the children in these Mormon communities and homes. The poor things are so brainwashed that they don't even know that they are being oppressed, abused, and that there are other ways to live. It is sad to see.
Lizzie Borden was in a similar situation. She and her sister were “kept in the home” to maintain the home, bc they were not married. Lizzie grew increasingly frustrated bc her parents continued to give her step-mothers family property and houses. And she was ball and chained to her parents. Not saying what she did was right, but it certainly added to the problem.
That Lizzie Borden was found not guilty of murder in a criminal trial where the standard of proof for a conviction was "beyond a reasonable doubt", same as OJ Simpson was found not guilty of murder in a criminal trial, does not establish factual innocence. The proven facts of the Lizzie Borden case establish that Lizzie Borden was probably the murderer, same as the civil wrongful death lawsuit determined that OJ Simpson probably killed his wife Nicole and restaurant worker Ron Goldman who was bringing her the sunglasses she had accidentally left as at a restaurant earlier.
I absolutely have always relied on my intuition! Raised in a charismatic cult and being s/a by my ex step father for 10 years (as well as physically), I always seemed to have a heightened awareness and was extremely intuitive. I consider it my greatest gift! So happy for Ashley ❤
The "drums are evil" thing originated within conservative evangelicalism as just a resistance to change; "Drums are part of 'rock and roll' and 'rock and roll' is evil." However, Gothard took it a step farther. There was a music "expert" named Frank Garlock who was promoted in Gothard circles for some time (kind of like the Pearls). Garlock's materials included a story about a missionary to Africa that came home to the US and heard "rock and roll" and said "rock and roll drumming" was the same drumbeat that "witch doctors" in Africa used to summon demons. This became a core tenant of Gothard's teachings on good vs. evil music.
I remember Gothard speaking about this at an IBLP seminar I attended when I was in an IFB church. So glad I got out!!! So grateful for this video!!! So glad she got out!!!
Look up the "Kundalini Spirit" . It may help bring even more explanation why the rock and roll beat was discouraged. It does go a little deeper than the simplified, and somewhat misinformed reason frequently shared. Recent research has been done on contemporary music and there definitely are some concerns. That's not to say all christian contemporary music should be avoided. But, some artists, writers, producers, recorders, etc don't have the best intentions. There's lots of information to compare and contrast. You might find it interesting. I hope so. ❤
I like to temind people that the 'traditional 'church organ was originally condemned as the' instrument of the devil-. What we defend as 'it was always like this' is often only a couple of generations old. But as it was that way across the lifetime of oldest current members then it ever shall be
When my children were small, I read a ton of stuff from the pearls. I mightve even ordered from them. I never really applied any of their child rearing advice as my 2 boys were never a problem..as all parents, I thought they were perfect. Got a lot of compliments on their behavior. We were just a normal, stable family, but had roots in the fundamental movement. Curious how the pearl children speak now, or if they do. Not comparing, but I put them in the same category as the Duggar, and its not a good category. If anyone has links, I'd love to investigate.
Women and men benefit from your episodes even when not in a cult. We can be in bad relationships and have controlling partners. We learn this from your content. I wonder what Jana Duggar is doing now.
This was such a great episode, I can't wait to text the guests intuition line. I grew up the scapegoat in a single mother household. She is a true narcissist and now at 42 I still struggle with my intuition. Thank you ladies, thank you so much.
My family also thought I was born possessed. I was born into a crazy evangelical church and one of my first memories was having someone wave a giant sword super close to me while they held me down. I found out later that was an exorcism when I was 3. I grew up thinking I was evil and violent and leaning very into being horrible and rebellious. I've been in therapy for years now and now I'm doing a whole lot better ^^ I really think children should be more protected by the law.
Ashley it is absolutely heartbreaking that your family could put dark energy on tiny baby you experiencing the world, they brought you into! Even while you were still in the womb!?! As a mother of a precious baby girl, the thought of them seeing/treating you that way just breaks my heart. I’m am so sorry you had to experience that, even if you don’t remember, you still surely felt it and continued to feel it as they put it on you as you grew up. 😢
I grew up very Southern Baptist and I guess we were on the more liberal side for that I am thankful. I enjoy your channel and have learned so much from listening. Congratulations on the birth of your child. You are such a strong woman and I appreciate your speaking out and providing a platform for others.
Thank you. I’m always blown away by the strength and wisdom of the women on this channel. To not merely survive that oppression and abuse, but to become an articulate, self-aware advocate is truly remarkable. Kudos, admiration and love to you all. 👏❤
I can’t believe how twisted evangelical Christian sects can be. Anyone who gets out is amazing and strong. Speaking of conservative Christians, my in laws were extremely conservative and very devout. In fact, my husband’s brother is a Pentecostal pastor. Anyway, I was going to church with them one night, my mother in law yanked my dress neckline open. She looked at my chest and asked me “Are we wearing a bra?” I was stunned. Also, my father in law told my husband to not let me spend any money. Of course, my sweet husband is nothing like that.
That-that is an assault. I hope your husband stands up for you (what a terrible position for him). I hope you and hubby are on the same page, and you are respected as the individual human being you are.
He sure did. He’s a good, kind man. His mom and dad have both passed away. We live approximately 2000 miles away from his family and are much better off.
I love how clear and calm Ashley can tell her story! Truely a gift, thank you! The part about the music being part of her breakthrough is so amazing. It reminds me of Steven Hassans and Jon Atacks' work on YT where they talk about the "thought stopping" methods cults / abusers use to overwrite the brain, e.g. mantra's or other short repetitive statements. How interesting a brain stimulant like music stopped the "thought stopping"! Considering its common for cults to ban (certain types of) music... Thank you for sharing your experience with us!
Another of the wonderful interviews where I wish I could re-Like at various times throughout! Thank you, Shelise, for introducing me to another amazing woman who speaks to me where I am at.
Advocates of courtship are never experienced in it. My family was super into it, but my parents didn't do it. I found that all books, sermons, podcasts, videos and everything advocating courtship are either from young people who haven't done it or at least are newly wed and haven't seen the fallout yet, or else older people who didn't do it when they were younger, but say they "wish they had", and somehow think that their experience with dating and all that somehow qualifies them as experts on courtship.
My parents were the same, but THEY were the typical dating and s*x before marriage couple telling US to do a courtship. My mom (we left) now says her biggest regret was basically setting up the marriage of my younger sister.
As the siblingless daughter of a North African man and a Southern European woman, I experienced indirect hostility, cross-border harassment and stigmatisation as a small child, especially from my mother's grandmother. The memories that stay with me above all: I was told not to touch the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary as if I would defile her, she marched into the bathroom, deliberately touched my private parts after making me sit in the bathtub for what felt like hours, dissociated, and made me feel that I was condemned in some way. I think there were earlier assaults as well (I was born in a Catholic hospital that oddly enough had her first name (with a St in front)) and am still working on numerous other traumas today. In my later marriage to a Muslim of Palestinian origin, I experienced many things that can be linked to these experiences (anti-Semitism, racism, cult-like persecution). It is difficult to make sense of all this, but I am working on it.
The fact is drums are universal. And all humans came out of Africa. Amazing what racism does to people's minds. Everything these people believe is twisted. So happy for anyone who escapes. Thanks for helping them tell their stories Shelise! You're awesome! ❤
The evangelical Sunday school I went to in the Deep South taught that dark skin is the mark of Cain and that the light of god literally makes you lighter. So: white people are godly and black people are cursed.
Wow so much of this is similar to my story. Growing up in a community and being chronically ill means you have sin in your life but you still need to do everything everyone else does. The only people I saw were the people in the community for most of the time I lived there. My baby story is I constantly cried and it was extremely distressing to my mum so others would come and take me so she could have a break. I felt very responsible for this even though as a I now know I was a sick baby and while my mum did try to get help the story is always how difficult I was and how much better my siblings were when they were born. I was also made to be over responsible for things I now realise were adult not child or teenager responsibilities. Hearing your story brings so much clarity to mine and also to see things I just thought were normal are far from normal and some are trauma. Thank you so much for sharing this. Oh wow yes I kissed dating goodbye featured hugely when I was a teenager and young adult and there were alter calls to repent of our thoughts or actions regarding the opposite sex regarding what was in this book. There was so much guilt and then as a chronically ill person I have been asked so many times about impure thoughts or if I was distressed because I wasn’t married. Just thank you.
I grew up very similar to this and understand on a very deep level. My family attended IBLP seminars live in Detroit for many years. We were also part of IFB churches. Thanks to CTC and testimonies like this, I've come to learn that I was raised in a cult-like religion. This explains SO much of the dysfunction in my immediate and extended family. I have broken free over the years, but there is still so much ingrained in me that I am working through. Thank you Ashley for sharing your story!! Btw, I heard that the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye (I read it also) is divorced and recants & regrets everything he wrote.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It is wonderful you are now happily married to a man who is supportive and truly cares about you! It is amazing you are also helping others through your messages!
This was so insightful. Personally I was getting into a high demand religion at the age you were getting out Ashley. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing your stories and experiences.
As a homeschooling mom, I really appreciate you stating the differences in homeschooling experiences. It can be a really great way to educate your children but it can also be unhealthy, and even traumatic for some. Thank you for sharing your experiences and sharing your continued healing journey.
Hey, guys, It's so nice to listen to you guys. I was never part of a cult and had a really beautiful childhood, but I find it important to know about all these things. Who knows who gets involved in such things, or even just to not let themselves be involved and if wanted to be able to help. Thanks for your work😊
I would honestly say the issue is religion in general. I grew up Roman catholic. It was much of the same teaching though my parents did allow secular TV and music, but the gender rolls and submissive woman etc it was all the same. The catholics preach unconditional love but they are the most judgmental people I have ever met. Being a good catholic was never about being a good person, it was about being happy to submit to the control of those above you (fathers, husband's, preists etc). It was all about control and money plain and simple
@@allisonharranmua8193 Sorry that's just not true. Terrible individuals exist in every facet of society, not just religion. Myself & an entire host of others had the opposite experience & we choose to pass that heritage on to our children with love. Sadly some individuals will use any societal structure to gain power & control over others & I'm very sorry you had to go through what you experienced. However, placing blame upon "religion" & applying it to everyone doesn't pan out to "the truth". You truth is your truth/experience, but for countless others, your truth is/was not their truth/experience.
@Vexx_Line_ that's because countless others are still brainwashed. All organized religion is a cult. Plain and simple. If you feel like being honest with yourself, look up the bite model. It's the criteria law enforcement uses to determine if an organization is a cult. If you look at the model and honestly check off the boxes that apply to your beliefs you will find all the boxes checked.
I once heard a Christian counselor say that in his practice, every client who practiced cutting had been or was being sexually abused. Also, your grandfather was disturbingly sadistic. I'm sad that he tormented you. I do believe that some SA is sexually motivated and control is the method to gain sexual pleasure.
There are some things I can only upvote without listening. Love the work y’all are doing, and to each and everyone fighting their battles and finding themselves, I love you with all my might. Keep on keeping on.
Thank you! I’m now on your text thread, Ashley and as a DV survivor, helpful “gut feelings” messages are needed to quiet the negativity in my head! I’m SO EXCITED! ❤️
I was not raised in a cult, however the family joke was," You were born 17 days late, and will never catch up." This implied that I would never amount to anything. I was doomed from the start with no hope of success-never to be acceptable. Ouch!.
I've heard so many people reference the keeping house while keeping sane book and it's so wild to see who wrote it and the mindset that she was in while writing it
Thank you for telling us your story. You sound so intelligent and aware of your trauma and even tho I can’t imagine how hard it is, I’m so proud of you. ❤
I did homeschool our kids for 2 years but I went through a charter school for the ciriculum because it was through a charter school we did have state testing and state standards and such 😮❤
❤ you both!! I "met" Ashley through your channel and you are both earth angels, helping so many people!! Ashley's daily texts and coaching has helped me/is helping me through a very complex life transition. Intuition can also be a lot of fun! Keep up the great work, you two!! 👏 😘😁
I am so glad she made it clear that each church is different. The best pastor I ever had was IFB. And I also saw the problems after he left. That pastor has passed. He was a good man and I don't know a soul who would not agree with me.
Was raised in the southern Baptist convention and lived a completely different experience. I never witnessed any of what she is saying. Yep southeast Ga.
I am not at all saying her life shouldn’t be talked about. I realized how my comment above could have seemed misplaced. I’m so glad she was able to get away from this. I simply never witnessed any of it. I do hope more people walk away. That’s not what Christ intended. He teaches us to love one another and yes we are to speak up for him but not to the point of hurting others.
They did the same thing to me as a baby :( my mom and mom mom would tell me how I had a devil inside me whenever I woke up from a nap and nothing would stop me so they would lock me in the room to cry
I've seen Ashley somewhere else on RUclips, I remember her work on intuition sparked my interest but I forgot all about it until watching this amazing interview! I am definitely following her this time ❤️
Cap sleeves, two fingers under the collar bone for the neck lines, no necklaces or print at the breast level, no print or design work on the bum, has to be layered up if the fabric can be even slightly seen through from back lighting, no bras that allow the nipples to poke out at all (all hard cup bras, except for sleep [be careful around your dad and brothers when in PJs]), no "shaking vocals at church" that sound like lusty singing, Pants (in my church you had to pinch and inch and a half of fabric at the hip on both sides of the body, but it was only allowed for game days or manual labor). I absolutely agree that you could tell every dads preference by the modesty standards in the family. Mine even changed when I saw both Grandfathers. I knew my dad's thing, and both grandfathers' things. And in my church women could give personal testimonies in mixed groups of men and women, but you couldn't structure any of what you had learned in the Bible in anyway that sounded like a lesson layout. It had to be a first person story. So interesting to hear someone from my group speaking about it. It was weird going to big gatherings and seeing the variety. Same thing was true for University for me. It kinda left me with despair because my family was on the "liberal" end and home schooling completely isolated me from knowing what was out there. The abuse in my family and church was crushing me, but apparently we had it as good as it could get. Glad I am out now! Thank you for doing this interview and Ashley for coming on.
The African explanation I heard was that drums were used in their pagan worship of demons and as part of that they would have fertility festivals where the women would just dance (usually the detail was added "naked") around a fire and any man could just come up and grab them and have them on the spot. Sometimes the added implication was that we could see the same ritualistic worship being done in clubs and music festivals where drums were played. As a side note as a little girl I was only allowed to dance to classical music in a way that kept my hips and shoulders in alignment. It was considered very problematic if I swung my hips at all. That was only before puberty.
@@CultstoConsciousness Thank you for creating a place to share. Your channel gave me the information and confidence to evaluate my group and call it a cult.
I’ve only listened to the intro and I already need to say I’m so glad you escaped. The things that are happening right here that we don’t even know about. Thank you for telling your story so these horrors can be exposed and hopefully stopped.
Oh yeah, I recall Jerry Falwell Sr. If anyone wants to see a funny clip of him. He freaked out over Teletubbies, calling it Satanic, I think. I believe it was regarding one of them, the purple one having a fanny pack.
A lot of people suspect that Jana Duggar, the oldest girl and still unmarried, was put into this 'Stay At Home Daughter' role from a young age. Have you ever spoken to Sadie Carpenter? She's got a great podcast about the IFB, Leaving Eden, and she'd done a fascinating interview over on Preacher Boys as well.
I cannot believe the spiritual abuse your guest had to go through!!! All my support to her. On another set of thoughts, I thought like only Islam would blame women for men's lust however, the more I listen to these kinds of channels, I see a common thread....how sad it happens even in supposedly christian churches. Cults are cults and ALL are evil. Thank you very much for exposing them. Keep up the great work.
These guys ARE AWARE that patriarchism is un-christian ... ?! Our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ was married and his beloved wife Mary Magdalene was the 1. Leader of the church. The male & female ALWAYS needs to be in balance otherwise the Dark Lord (Satan) finds foothold in our lives ... All the information was later changed unfortunately as the cursed Roman Catholic Church changed & amended the New Testament ...
Shalise is such a great interviewer! She talks enough about her own experiences to relate to the person she interviews without taking over the conversation or talking over guests. ❤❤❤
I remember reading a book when I was in High School called is Kissing Sinful? I'm starting to deconstruct my sexual repression and listening to this reminded me of books like that- that made big impressions on me growing up. I'm so glad yall are bringing this stuff to light - purity culture is so harmful.
Oh my word I think I read your blog!!?!! I grew up IBLP but my dad didn’t buy into all of it and was very loose with many things (like encouraging me to go to collage and to travel overseas) I remember reading your blog because I think my mom wanted me to and I was like “uh…no way” 😂 i wanted to be a mom and wife later (I am now) but i wanted to explore life while single. And I did. I had so many men in the church we were in scold me and try to tell my dad to “get control of me” because I wanted to be in media and travel with my media job. My dad told them all off and said I was following my passions God had given me. I cannot imagine growing up the way i did if my dad had been as into all this as my mom
I was a SAHD but not in any religious setting, my father is simply a malignant narcissist and I was under his control for years. I never felt like an adult. I'm 40 now and after years of therapy I understand I'm a adult and can make choices without anyone else's input and authority. There are many other women who have gone through what I went through. It's not mystery that so many cults are ran by malignant and covert narcissists.
Equality between men women should be the norm in modern societies. What the guest fails to recognize is that men became leaders / protectors because, thousands of years ago, when a village came under attack from another tribe, it was the men who went into battle. It was a male who became leader, protector. So patriarchy didn't arise out of thin air.
HATE "I kissed dating goodbye". Awful messages. I remember as a teen taking to heart the implication that girls should look gorgeous in a strappy sundress, but then not wear strappy sundresses, only for the benefit of their future husbands, of course.
the fundamental view of the ideal women is so insidious, then horrifying... i can't help but see the overthrow of roe v wade as a terrifying sign of the future
The detail in this interview that I can’t get past is that a grown man bragged about breaking the spirit of a 4-year-old for decades. It makes me wonder how many victims he has.
The fact that her own father put her in his hands. The way they all call slavery 'womanhood', and aspire to crush and destroy other humans... while daring to call it spiritual.
I worry about exactly what went on in that room.
I am willing to bet I will find a white hood and a picture of Hitler in his house.
Imagine a group of people laughing at the bragging of abuse of a child...........it's like a scene from criminal minds 😢
@emmahayward6333 For many people, it's just home.
I’ve been speaking up about my own child abuse since 1979 just because someone let me know anonymously that they appreciated me speaking up as they thought they were all alone. We are not alone. We will speak up until no child is ever abused again.
🙏🏼❤️
Amazing work speaking up and helping others! I hope for peace for your heart, friend.
Keep speaking out - if it saves even one child it will have been worth it!
Terrifyingly not alone. Just one statistic that i remember cause its so shocking and easy to remember...in south africa a girl/woman is raped every second!!! Thats how not alone we are!! What makes me angry is that if this were a mans problem, it would not exist anymore.
Thank you for being so brave and speaking up so long as you have. Much love from Germany
❤
Stay At Home Daughters and the Christian Patriarchy Movement have always freaked me out. I'm so happy your guest got away!
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Thank you. Keep posting this.
Oof when she says you could tell if the dad is a boob guy or a leg guy based on how his daughter dressed 🙁
Doesn’t that make you squeamish? 🥴
Eeeeeewwwwww!
yeah, wow! stomach churning
My father once told me to "show some leg" when I had a job interview at age 17 or 18. Not a conservative Christian, but patriarchal none the less in the view of women's value being only in how they are perceived by and please men. Ugh. It was a clerical position.
Ashley's description of how the patriarchy is formulated to be abusive and how she experienced that to the extreme is so eloquently explored, what an absolutely amazing guest, thank you for sharing your story
That's one of the reasons I got out of the IFB. Women didn't have the right to have any dreams except to be wives and mothers.
How did you get yourself out? Did anyone try to stop you or bring you back? What kinds of things are said about women who leave?
No dreams... that would have killed me. I used to pray for my dreams and hey... mostly they came true😂
Same. I got out because I lost my voice and soul in the IFB. I am slowly getting both back.
I attended IFB churches for years. My husband at the time wasn't really into it thankfully. My children went but we're not forced. Been out of them for years. My children are grown and don't attend
@daniellewillis2767 I became depressed and suicidal. I was planning to overdose on my epilepsy medicine. But I wanted to remember my teenage years first. I started to watch music videos on RUclips. Accidentally I came across BTS. I started listening to their music. It literally saved my life. They got me out of depression, and gave me the courage to leave church and get a job.
Its so interesting hearing about this, I'm black and was raised Baptist in the south. My mom was very strict with the things i could do and had to do. I remember going to a religious daycare and school when i was younger. Plus my mom's side is the kind of Baptist that believes in spiritual work because they connect it to them working with God. So when i had depression when i was in middle school 😅 it was because i had the devil in me. They said something was wrong with and I need more God in my life to release the devil's hold on me. Even now i still struggle to not do the things i was taught. It's so nice hearing other people's experiences
💗💗💗💗
stay strong.
🫶🏼 Thank you for sharing ❤❤
If a full grown man in your family is bullying the kids, address it. Get him out of the house.
How is it that these men want all the power of being in control, but none of the responsibility and accountability that comes along with a position of power? I am so sick of women being blamed for the weaknesses of men.
Wow!! I grew up in a pretty conservative Christian family and social circle. (But not isolated) I had no idea how some groups define patriarchy. I had never heard of the "stay at home daughter" beliefs before today. I can't think of a SINGLE woman in my extended family who would ever BEGIN to consider this! Men in our family have FAR too much respect for women to dream of such absurdity. TY
The "homeschooled debate champ becomes an Apostate" is a whole vibe. ❤
I'm tremendously thankful for being homeschooled. Gave me amazing education and critical thinking skills. That is definitely an advantage when it comes to questioning dominant narratives of any kind.
@@booksquid856 High quality inn well-funded public schooling also teaches critical thinking and gives an amazing education. The key terms there being "well-funded" and "high quality." Stripping public funding of public schools and turning it over to Charter schools only further degrades education. Their countries around the world with public education systems that they take pride in that resulted in an education that outstrips anything we see in America. Also, public schools at least give abused kids someplace to go and someone outside of their immediate circle to report to when abuse happens. Since the vast majority of abuse happens within family circles I can understand why homeschooling would be so popular in some circles.
Being a mom,stay at home should always be something that is discussed between the husband and wife...not everyone is going to want the same things....nothing should be forced and its so sad to think that these cults make women especially feel like we don't have choices....
Before marriage
‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’ was the book that we had to take a class on at our ‘church’. I was homeschooled and went through so many similiar things and was a virgin until my wedding night when I had just turned 19. This podcast resonated SO much with my past!
😂 “Drums come from Africa?” The whole world has had different drums. These guys should Read a book once a year!
This poor soul, I can't imagine being raised in this way! To be told you are rebellious from birth.
It's a huge belief in the IFB, some of their biggest and most influential people would say things like "When babies cry that's them manipulating you because of their sin nature, you should spank them to drive the spirit of rebellion out".
Certain men misuse scriptures to enable their sin which is Totally against what the Bible teaches.
Bible teaches violence. God is the first pedo
Yes, Ashley! Another escapee from oppression! Your message is getting out to a lot of women! I grew up in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s-many parents of that era thought all teenagers were going to hell if we listened to rock and roll. Met my man in high school in 1975-we led each other astray and listened to rock music like crazy, and enjoyed every minute of it! Got married in 1978, and 46 years later we are still happily married. Actually, like many of our peers, we didn’t have much time to go too far astray. We were busy with doing well in school and working to earn money for gas and food and clothing; and what do you know, we didn’t go to hell after all! It angers me that there are still so many young women being crushed by their religion, supposedly in the name of God. The stay-at-home daughter thing enables couples to crank out more children than they can take care of, since they can enslave a daughter to be a babysitter. Thank you Ashley, for putting your message out there to give women hope and the courage to try to escape from these situations!
Your content has been a safe place for those who have been through this sort of spiritual and psychological abuse. Hearing other people’s stories helps me to know I’m not alone in the healing process.
You’re definitely not alone!
I was raised in an agnostic household in the deep South. I am gay and found that the Bible belt was not a great place to live. Not only are the wages too low to live comfortably in the south eastern US, but the constant judgement and preaching by everyone is quite oppressive. My wife and I moved to a small tourist town in Utah in 2014 and it changed our lives financially, but now I see Mormons instead of southern Baptists. What I hope to see change in our society is the prevalence of indoctrinating children. The reality is that the indoctrination of children is abusive. It is brainwashing and should be illegal. Maybe one day the law will prevent most people from doing this.
Is it abusive to teach children to believe in God? Or just to believe that sex is for married couples (man and woman)
Also, how can that law be enforced? No religion, no freedom of speech. Fascism. ?
Couldn’t agree more! Highly recommend Colorado. I always said it’s better version of Utah without the mormon bubble
@@canelareina3795 it is absolutely wrong and abusive to force a child to learn and accept religion period. Under the age of twelve or so a child can not understand these concepts. There is also the fact that when you have a child you are bringing another human into the world. You are not, in fact, building a robot that you get to program to be the "person" you want it to be. Scaring the crap out of a child with the concept of hell and damnation if they don't conform to your religion is definitely abuse. Forcing your belief system on an innocent child is also abuse. If you actually love your child, then you would leave religion out of raising them until or unless they began to ask questions. At that point you would take them to the library and check out books on all religions so that they could make up their own mind in an informed way. Enforcement looks like removing all organized religion from society and making religion a personal choice. Religion is, in and of itself, destructive to a rational society. We should not be promoting beliefs in the first place. The word belief literally means to lie to one's self.... We, as a society, should be basing our policies and laws on facts and truth, not delusional beliefs.
@@CultstoConsciousness lol. Colorado is a place I have lived. I really liked it, but again, wages are too low. I moved to the town I live in now because even MacDonald's pays twenty an hour to start. I am married to a woman who has PTSD and panic anxiety disorder and is unable to work. This means we are a single income household. Therefore I need to make more than minimum wage to live comfortably. Tourism has made it possible for me to not only earn enough to live but we also now own our own home. I still feel very bad for the children in these Mormon communities and homes. The poor things are so brainwashed that they don't even know that they are being oppressed, abused, and that there are other ways to live. It is sad to see.
Sending you so much love ❤
Joshua Harris who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye left Christianity completely
Would like to have him on
@@CultstoConsciousnessDavey Jackson interviewed him, could possibly put you in contact
@@CultstoConsciousnessPLEASE! I would love that!
@@CultstoConsciousness yes please. He has a lot to say about the whole thing around the books and his journey.
@@CultstoConsciousness Honestly, his ex-wife seems like a more interesting guest, her book 'The Woman They Wanted' is amazing
Lizzie Borden was in a similar situation. She and her sister were “kept in the home” to maintain the home, bc they were not married. Lizzie grew increasingly frustrated bc her parents continued to give her step-mothers family property and houses. And she was ball and chained to her parents. Not saying what she did was right, but it certainly added to the problem.
Lizzie Borden was found not guilty.
That Lizzie Borden was found not guilty of murder in a criminal trial where the standard of proof for a conviction was "beyond a reasonable doubt", same as OJ Simpson was found not guilty of murder in a criminal trial, does not establish factual innocence. The proven facts of the Lizzie Borden case establish that Lizzie Borden was probably the murderer, same as the civil wrongful death lawsuit determined that OJ Simpson probably killed his wife Nicole and restaurant worker Ron Goldman who was bringing her the sunglasses she had accidentally left as at a restaurant earlier.
Newsflash...she was acquitted 😊
I absolutely have always relied on my intuition! Raised in a charismatic cult and being s/a by my ex step father for 10 years (as well as physically), I always seemed to have a heightened awareness and was extremely intuitive. I consider it my greatest gift!
So happy for Ashley ❤
❤️❤️❤️
I grew up IFB and it was so scarring.. Thank you for hosting such a terrific guest.
The "drums are evil" thing originated within conservative evangelicalism as just a resistance to change; "Drums are part of 'rock and roll' and 'rock and roll' is evil." However, Gothard took it a step farther. There was a music "expert" named Frank Garlock who was promoted in Gothard circles for some time (kind of like the Pearls). Garlock's materials included a story about a missionary to Africa that came home to the US and heard "rock and roll" and said "rock and roll drumming" was the same drumbeat that "witch doctors" in Africa used to summon demons. This became a core tenant of Gothard's teachings on good vs. evil music.
I remember Gothard speaking about this at an IBLP seminar I attended when I was in an IFB church. So glad I got out!!! So grateful for this video!!! So glad she got out!!!
Look up the "Kundalini Spirit" . It may help bring even more explanation why the rock and roll beat was discouraged. It does go a little deeper than the simplified, and somewhat misinformed reason frequently shared. Recent research has been done on contemporary music and there definitely are some concerns. That's not to say all christian contemporary music should be avoided. But, some artists, writers, producers, recorders, etc don't have the best intentions. There's lots of information to compare and contrast. You might find it interesting. I hope so. ❤
I like to temind people that the 'traditional 'church organ was originally condemned as the' instrument of the devil-. What we defend as 'it was always like this' is often only a couple of generations old. But as it was that way across the lifetime of oldest current members then it ever shall be
When my children were small, I read a ton of stuff from the pearls. I mightve even ordered from them. I never really applied any of their child rearing advice as my 2 boys were never a problem..as all parents, I thought they were perfect. Got a lot of compliments on their behavior. We were just a normal, stable family, but had roots in the fundamental movement. Curious how the pearl children speak now, or if they do. Not comparing, but I put them in the same category as the Duggar, and its not a good category. If anyone has links, I'd love to investigate.
Garden variety racism
Panic attacks are the worst. I wouldn't wish them on anyone. You really do feel like you are going to die
Women and men benefit from your episodes even when not in a cult. We can be in bad relationships and have controlling partners. We learn this from your content.
I wonder what Jana Duggar is doing now.
This was such a great episode, I can't wait to text the guests intuition line. I grew up the scapegoat in a single mother household. She is a true narcissist and now at 42 I still struggle with my intuition. Thank you ladies, thank you so much.
❤️❤️❤️
This shows how old I am... Ashley reminds me of the actress Sandy Duncan. :)
You’re right! As soon as she spoke I knew she reminded me of someone and that’s who it is!
My family also thought I was born possessed. I was born into a crazy evangelical church and one of my first memories was having someone wave a giant sword super close to me while they held me down. I found out later that was an exorcism when I was 3. I grew up thinking I was evil and violent and leaning very into being horrible and rebellious. I've been in therapy for years now and now I'm doing a whole lot better ^^ I really think children should be more protected by the law.
That’s awful! I’m sorry you went through that ❤️
Ashley it is absolutely heartbreaking that your family could put dark energy on tiny baby you experiencing the world, they brought you into! Even while you were still in the womb!?! As a mother of a precious baby girl, the thought of them seeing/treating you that way just breaks my heart. I’m am so sorry you had to experience that, even if you don’t remember, you still surely felt it and continued to feel it as they put it on you as you grew up. 😢
I grew up very Southern Baptist and I guess we were on the more liberal side for that I am thankful.
I enjoy your channel and have learned so much from listening. Congratulations on the birth of your child. You are such a strong woman and I appreciate your speaking out and providing a platform for others.
Thank you so much!❤️
Thank you. I’m always blown away by the strength and wisdom of the women on this channel. To not merely survive that oppression and abuse, but to become an articulate, self-aware advocate is truly remarkable. Kudos, admiration and love to you all. 👏❤
Thank you for your support!
Hope these women can break free and make lives for themselves that they choose!
My brother in law is keeping his adult daughters home. They are ages 40, 36, 29 and 24. They will never marry. Its disgusting.
👀 woah. That’s extreme
What does he think will happen once he dies? They will be free agents, but unable to cope.
Reach out to them and let them know they can escape and come to you. It’s not worth keeping on good terms with that POS
What does he think will happen once he is gone?
At a certain point, those women are probably choosing that life now.
When I hear stuff like this I’m very grateful my parents didn’t raise me in organized religion ❤
I can’t believe how twisted evangelical Christian sects can be. Anyone who gets out is amazing and strong. Speaking of conservative Christians, my in laws were extremely conservative and very devout. In fact, my husband’s brother is a Pentecostal pastor. Anyway, I was going to church with them one night, my mother in law yanked my dress neckline open. She looked at my chest and asked me “Are we wearing a bra?” I was stunned. Also, my father in law told my husband to not let me spend any money. Of course, my sweet husband is nothing like that.
That-that is an assault. I hope your husband stands up for you (what a terrible position for him). I hope you and hubby are on the same page, and you are respected as the individual human being you are.
Just slap your mother-in-law from me, please ... 😁
This woman has NO respect - just tell her it was a reflex ... ! 😂😅
He sure did. He’s a good, kind man. His mom and dad have both passed away. We live approximately 2000 miles away from his family and are much better off.
Oh, my-I’m so sorry. My reflexes would have made a statement. 💪
It's so nice to see these beautiful young ladies who turn their lives around. You can see and hear the happiness in her voice.
I love how clear and calm Ashley can tell her story! Truely a gift, thank you! The part about the music being part of her breakthrough is so amazing. It reminds me of Steven Hassans and Jon Atacks' work on YT where they talk about the "thought stopping" methods cults / abusers use to overwrite the brain, e.g. mantra's or other short repetitive statements. How interesting a brain stimulant like music stopped the "thought stopping"! Considering its common for cults to ban (certain types of) music... Thank you for sharing your experience with us!
Great observation!
Another of the wonderful interviews where I wish I could re-Like at various times throughout! Thank you, Shelise, for introducing me to another amazing woman who speaks to me where I am at.
I love this!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!❤️
Escaped ??? GOOD FOR HER!!!!!
Advocates of courtship are never experienced in it. My family was super into it, but my parents didn't do it. I found that all books, sermons, podcasts, videos and everything advocating courtship are either from young people who haven't done it or at least are newly wed and haven't seen the fallout yet, or else older people who didn't do it when they were younger, but say they "wish they had", and somehow think that their experience with dating and all that somehow qualifies them as experts on courtship.
My parents were the same, but THEY were the typical dating and s*x before marriage couple telling US to do a courtship. My mom (we left) now says her biggest regret was basically setting up the marriage of my younger sister.
Just like the Duggars!
Fits of evening crying is a symptom of being colicky, which frequently has a physical cause, or just plain being over stimulated
Not a symptom of being possessed by demons 😢
NOT a symptom of demon possession
As the siblingless daughter of a North African man and a Southern European woman, I experienced indirect hostility, cross-border harassment and stigmatisation as a small child, especially from my mother's grandmother. The memories that stay with me above all: I was told not to touch the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary as if I would defile her, she marched into the bathroom, deliberately touched my private parts after making me sit in the bathtub for what felt like hours, dissociated, and made me feel that I was condemned in some way. I think there were earlier assaults as well (I was born in a Catholic hospital that oddly enough had her first name (with a St in front)) and am still working on numerous other traumas today. In my later marriage to a Muslim of Palestinian origin, I experienced many things that can be linked to these experiences (anti-Semitism, racism, cult-like persecution). It is difficult to make sense of all this, but I am working on it.
Excellent guest. Ashley is so well-spoken, witty, and interesting.
I grew up in a very traditional Southern Baptist church, I was surprised how much I connected to this video
The fact is drums are universal. And all humans came out of Africa. Amazing what racism does to people's minds. Everything these people believe is twisted. So happy for anyone who escapes. Thanks for helping them tell their stories Shelise! You're awesome! ❤
How sinful is black gospel singing to these folks
The evangelical Sunday school I went to in the Deep South taught that dark skin is the mark of Cain and that the light of god literally makes you lighter. So: white people are godly and black people are cursed.
Our whole Baptist church pretty much is black African and it's amazing how infrequently they bang the drums to summon demons.
Wow so much of this is similar to my story. Growing up in a community and being chronically ill means you have sin in your life but you still need to do everything everyone else does. The only people I saw were the people in the community for most of the time I lived there. My baby story is I constantly cried and it was extremely distressing to my mum so others would come and take me so she could have a break. I felt very responsible for this even though as a I now know I was a sick baby and while my mum did try to get help the story is always how difficult I was and how much better my siblings were when they were born. I was also made to be over responsible for things I now realise were adult not child or teenager responsibilities.
Hearing your story brings so much clarity to mine and also to see things I just thought were normal are far from normal and some are trauma.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Oh wow yes I kissed dating goodbye featured hugely when I was a teenager and young adult and there were alter calls to repent of our thoughts or actions regarding the opposite sex regarding what was in this book. There was so much guilt and then as a chronically ill person I have been asked so many times about impure thoughts or if I was distressed because I wasn’t married.
Just thank you.
Ashley, I had a similar experience while growing up, so thanks for sharing.
I grew up very similar to this and understand on a very deep level. My family attended IBLP seminars live in Detroit for many years. We were also part of IFB churches.
Thanks to CTC and testimonies like this, I've come to learn that I was raised in a cult-like religion. This explains SO much of the dysfunction in my immediate and extended family. I have broken free over the years, but there is still so much ingrained in me that I am working through.
Thank you Ashley for sharing your story!!
Btw, I heard that the author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye (I read it also) is divorced and recants & regrets everything he wrote.
Thank you for sharing your experience! It is wonderful you are now happily married to a man who is supportive and truly cares about you! It is amazing you are also helping others through your messages!
Im so glad i found this channel. I have a lot of stuff to unpack 😢
The badass energy and strength that Ashley has is awesome!
This was so insightful. Personally I was getting into a high demand religion at the age you were getting out Ashley. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing your stories and experiences.
As a homeschooling mom, I really appreciate you stating the differences in homeschooling experiences. It can be a really great way to educate your children but it can also be unhealthy, and even traumatic for some. Thank you for sharing your experiences and sharing your continued healing journey.
Hey, guys,
It's so nice to listen to you guys. I was never part of a cult and had a really beautiful childhood, but I find it important to know about all these things. Who knows who gets involved in such things, or even just to not let themselves be involved and if wanted to be able to help. Thanks for your work😊
No matter the ideology the issue is always zealotry. Zealotry is ultimately about power and control of others.
I would honestly say the issue is religion in general. I grew up Roman catholic. It was much of the same teaching though my parents did allow secular TV and music, but the gender rolls and submissive woman etc it was all the same. The catholics preach unconditional love but they are the most judgmental people I have ever met. Being a good catholic was never about being a good person, it was about being happy to submit to the control of those above you (fathers, husband's, preists etc). It was all about control and money plain and simple
@@allisonharranmua8193
Sorry that's just not true. Terrible individuals exist in every facet of society, not just religion. Myself & an entire host of others had the opposite experience & we choose to pass that heritage on to our children with love. Sadly some individuals will use any societal structure to gain power & control over others & I'm very sorry you had to go through what you experienced. However, placing blame upon "religion" & applying it to everyone doesn't pan out to "the truth". You truth is your truth/experience, but for countless others, your truth is/was not their truth/experience.
@Vexx_Line_ that's because countless others are still brainwashed. All organized religion is a cult. Plain and simple. If you feel like being honest with yourself, look up the bite model. It's the criteria law enforcement uses to determine if an organization is a cult. If you look at the model and honestly check off the boxes that apply to your beliefs you will find all the boxes checked.
I once heard a Christian counselor say that in his practice, every client who practiced cutting had been or was being sexually abused. Also, your grandfather was disturbingly sadistic. I'm sad that he tormented you. I do believe that some SA is sexually motivated and control is the method to gain sexual pleasure.
There are some things I can only upvote without listening. Love the work y’all are doing, and to each and everyone fighting their battles and finding themselves, I love you with all my might.
Keep on keeping on.
I can see how you two would be besties! I love receiving Ashley’s daily intuition texts ❤
Thank you! I’m now on your text thread, Ashley and as a DV survivor, helpful “gut feelings” messages are needed to quiet the negativity in my head! I’m SO EXCITED! ❤️
I was not raised in a cult, however the family joke was," You were born 17 days late, and will never catch up." This implied that I would never amount to anything. I was doomed from the start with no hope of success-never to be acceptable. Ouch!.
Yikes! What an awful thing to say to a child. Or anyone. You are more than enough regardless of anything you have or haven’t accomplished ❤️
I am so sorry that is disgusting to say to a children. Well you are worthy just being you love ❤
@@CultstoConsciousness Yes, I'm worthy indeed! I sought therapy, and have had an incredible life after that, free of childhood insult. Gratitude.
Listening to this, i am more aware of how privileged i am, to be a divorced woman.
I've heard so many people reference the keeping house while keeping sane book and it's so wild to see who wrote it and the mindset that she was in while writing it
What an incredible group of friends you have! Thank you, Ashley, for your story and your inspiration. I needed to hear it today ❤
Thank you for telling us your story. You sound so intelligent and aware of your trauma and even tho I can’t imagine how hard it is, I’m so proud of you. ❤
Great interview! I really connected with trusting ones intuition. When I have ignored that little voice within me, I have a regretted my decisions.
My religious upbringing (mormon) contributed greatly to my developing anxiety, depression and several other health problems. Glad to be out.
Sending love in your healing journey
Yes ma'am!!! Woke up sick this morning and THIS is gonna make my Day MUCH better 😁😁😁
Feel better!!
I did homeschool our kids for 2 years but I went through a charter school for the ciriculum because it was through a charter school we did have state testing and state standards and such 😮❤
❤ you both!! I "met" Ashley through your channel and you are both earth angels, helping so many people!! Ashley's daily texts and coaching has helped me/is helping me through a very complex life transition. Intuition can also be a lot of fun! Keep up the great work, you two!! 👏 😘😁
I am so glad she made it clear that each church is different. The best pastor I ever had was IFB. And I also saw the problems after he left. That pastor has passed. He was a good man and I don't know a soul who would not agree with me.
I grew up VERY similarly. Another excuse we got for banning drums was that "music with a beat will make you have sex, and then you'll go to hell"
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Was raised in the southern Baptist convention and lived a completely different experience. I never witnessed any of what she is saying. Yep southeast Ga.
I am not at all saying her life shouldn’t be talked about. I realized how my comment above could have seemed misplaced. I’m so glad she was able to get away from this. I simply never witnessed any of it. I do hope more people walk away. That’s not what Christ intended. He teaches us to love one another and yes we are to speak up for him but not to the point of hurting others.
Sounds like you were lucky.
They did the same thing to me as a baby :( my mom and mom mom would tell me how I had a devil inside me whenever I woke up from a nap and nothing would stop me so they would lock me in the room to cry
Noooo! 😢 that’s awful
Cults are prisons of belief
All religions are cults. Some are milder but no religion is based on evidence and truth.
I've seen Ashley somewhere else on RUclips, I remember her work on intuition sparked my interest but I forgot all about it until watching this amazing interview! I am definitely following her this time ❤️
Cap sleeves, two fingers under the collar bone for the neck lines, no necklaces or print at the breast level, no print or design work on the bum, has to be layered up if the fabric can be even slightly seen through from back lighting, no bras that allow the nipples to poke out at all (all hard cup bras, except for sleep [be careful around your dad and brothers when in PJs]), no "shaking vocals at church" that sound like lusty singing, Pants (in my church you had to pinch and inch and a half of fabric at the hip on both sides of the body, but it was only allowed for game days or manual labor). I absolutely agree that you could tell every dads preference by the modesty standards in the family. Mine even changed when I saw both Grandfathers. I knew my dad's thing, and both grandfathers' things. And in my church women could give personal testimonies in mixed groups of men and women, but you couldn't structure any of what you had learned in the Bible in anyway that sounded like a lesson layout. It had to be a first person story. So interesting to hear someone from my group speaking about it. It was weird going to big gatherings and seeing the variety. Same thing was true for University for me. It kinda left me with despair because my family was on the "liberal" end and home schooling completely isolated me from knowing what was out there. The abuse in my family and church was crushing me, but apparently we had it as good as it could get. Glad I am out now! Thank you for doing this interview and Ashley for coming on.
The African explanation I heard was that drums were used in their pagan worship of demons and as part of that they would have fertility festivals where the women would just dance (usually the detail was added "naked") around a fire and any man could just come up and grab them and have them on the spot. Sometimes the added implication was that we could see the same ritualistic worship being done in clubs and music festivals where drums were played.
As a side note as a little girl I was only allowed to dance to classical music in a way that kept my hips and shoulders in alignment. It was considered very problematic if I swung my hips at all. That was only before puberty.
Woah! Thank you for sharing all that!
@@CultstoConsciousness Thank you for creating a place to share. Your channel gave me the information and confidence to evaluate my group and call it a cult.
I’ve only listened to the intro and I already need to say I’m so glad you escaped. The things that are happening right here that we don’t even know about. Thank you for telling your story so these horrors can be exposed and hopefully stopped.
Oh yeah, I recall Jerry Falwell Sr. If anyone wants to see a funny clip of him. He freaked out over Teletubbies, calling it Satanic, I think. I believe it was regarding one of them, the purple one having a fanny pack.
The purple teletubby was gay, according to JF, because it carried what Falwell called a “purse”🤣. My coworkers and I had a good laugh about that!
I remember that!
How the f is "breaking" a FOUR yr old a flex🤬🤬
A lot of people suspect that Jana Duggar, the oldest girl and still unmarried, was put into this 'Stay At Home Daughter' role from a young age.
Have you ever spoken to Sadie Carpenter? She's got a great podcast about the IFB, Leaving Eden, and she'd done a fascinating interview over on Preacher Boys as well.
It is also very common for the oldest daughters of huge families to be so parentified as kids that they choose not to be parents.
Thank you for sharing your story and caring about others!
I cannot believe the spiritual abuse your guest had to go through!!! All my support to her. On another set of thoughts, I thought like only Islam would blame women for men's lust however, the more I listen to these kinds of channels, I see a common thread....how sad it happens even in supposedly christian churches. Cults are cults and ALL are evil. Thank you very much for exposing them. Keep up the great work.
Your guest has such great energy!!! A lovely person 🤗
Patriarcy needs a movement? AS IF!
Needs a bowel movement, as it’s fulla 💩
🤘🏼😜
These guys ARE AWARE that patriarchism is un-christian ... ?!
Our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ was married and his beloved wife Mary Magdalene was the 1. Leader of the church.
The male & female ALWAYS needs to be in balance otherwise the Dark Lord (Satan) finds foothold in our lives ...
All the information was later changed unfortunately as the cursed Roman Catholic Church changed & amended the New Testament ...
I have so many toxic IFB experiences! Lordy!
So cute and funny but also witty and wise, Ashley you are incredible! Will is one lucky man❤
I just love Ashley!! I have been getting her texts for a while, and they are so uplifting. I appreciate what both of you do. Thank you, ladies!!
Shalise is such a great interviewer! She talks enough about her own experiences to relate to the person she interviews without taking over the conversation or talking over guests. ❤❤❤
That means a lot! Thank you!❤️
I remember reading a book when I was in High School called is Kissing Sinful? I'm starting to deconstruct my sexual repression and listening to this reminded me of books like that- that made big impressions on me growing up. I'm so glad yall are bringing this stuff to light - purity culture is so harmful.
Oh my word I think I read your blog!!?!! I grew up IBLP but my dad didn’t buy into all of it and was very loose with many things (like encouraging me to go to collage and to travel overseas) I remember reading your blog because I think my mom wanted me to and I was like “uh…no way” 😂 i wanted to be a mom and wife later (I am now) but i wanted to explore life while single. And I did. I had so many men in the church we were in scold me and try to tell my dad to “get control of me” because I wanted to be in media and travel with my media job. My dad told them all off and said I was following my passions God had given me.
I cannot imagine growing up the way i did if my dad had been as into all this as my mom
Small world! Lol glad you did what you wanted!
I was a SAHD but not in any religious setting, my father is simply a malignant narcissist and I was under his control for years.
I never felt like an adult. I'm 40 now and after years of therapy I understand I'm a adult and can make choices without anyone else's input and authority.
There are many other women who have gone through what I went through.
It's not mystery that so many cults are ran by malignant and covert narcissists.
Liked, commented and shared. Up the algorithm! Hope everyone is getting some sleep!
Equality between men women should be the norm in modern societies. What the guest fails to recognize is that men became leaders / protectors because, thousands of years ago, when a village came under attack from another tribe, it was the men who went into battle. It was a male who became leader, protector. So patriarchy didn't arise out of thin air.
Up until the 70s, girls couldn’t wear pants or shorts to school in the South unless it was a field day or a day trip
I remember when women couldn't go into restaurants if they were wearing slacks.
HATE "I kissed dating goodbye". Awful messages. I remember as a teen taking to heart the implication that girls should look gorgeous in a strappy sundress, but then not wear strappy sundresses, only for the benefit of their future husbands, of course.
This is horrible and to think That so many children and women are being abused. I’m glad she got out. Live your best life.
I really enjoyed this conversation. I admire the life she created for herself. And helps others.
the fundamental view of the ideal women is so insidious, then horrifying... i can't help but see the overthrow of roe v wade as a terrifying sign of the future