The Most Ridiculous Sword "Defense"? (I Can't Even...)

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  • Опубликовано: 17 сен 2024
  • Someone's trying to stab or slash you with a saber? Don't panic... just perform the snake dance, and you'll be fine! 😆
    Yeah, so this is one of the most bizarre "defenses" I've ever seen. Conceptually related to how a boxer would roll with a punch, but applied weirdly to a sword attack... where the best outcome you could hope for is acquiring a Sagat scar.
    Interestingly I looked up other technique demonstrations from what appears to be the same martial art (Systema), and while some look odd, there are also plenty that I'd consider practical and effective.
    The demonstrations generally remind me of Aikido, in that the training partner looks like a ragdoll in how over-compliant they are. Haven't seen it pulled off against a fully resisting opponent in sparring so far.
    ** Sources / credits **
    / contactless_art
    • Leonid systema
    • Sword Against Sword
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    "Highland Storm" by The Slanted Room Records
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Комментарии • 603

  • @argledotorg
    @argledotorg 4 дня назад +541

    That looks like Grade A bullshido

    • @VikingTeddy
      @VikingTeddy 4 дня назад +40

      If your teachers are out of shape, and look like they spend half their time at the pub. Better just do a 180 at the door.

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад

      99% vertainty this is just russians being hilarious while Americans and all their raging xenophobia take hilarious sarcastic memes and think "OMG THE FOREIGN ADVERSARY IS GENUINELY THIS INSANE!!!!"

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад +3

      ​@VikingTeddy or stay to have a great time getting drunk with people who love comedy. Ever been to Russia? Lovely people over there if youre a tourist. You may even end up in a meme video like this one, laughing your butt off.

    • @VikingTeddy
      @VikingTeddy 4 дня назад +7

      @@nowayjosedaniel Never been unfortunately. But for like a decade, this Russian backpacker would show up in my city and play bagpipes on the street. He hitchiked from Vladivostok to St.Petersburg yearly and toured europe with no money.
      He'd always find someone who'd let him crash, and when he didn't, he survived by piping on the streets and camping in the woods. Coolest dude I ever met.

    • @NicholasNappi
      @NicholasNappi 4 дня назад +4

      Yup 👍 I just can’t stop laughing at how absolutely stupid this looks

  • @NigmaSuperZo
    @NigmaSuperZo 4 дня назад +296

    There is an old army joke in Russia about all those "secret spetsnaz martial arts" :
    To engage in hand-to-hand combat, a spetsnaz soldier must lose his assault rifle, pistol, knife, sapper blade, waist belt and helmet. Find a clean field with not a single stone or stick lying around. And enter into a tough fight with the goofball as incompetent as he is.

    • @willtherealrustyschacklefo3812
      @willtherealrustyschacklefo3812 3 дня назад +23

      For the most part yes that's true, although the special forces branches of military would actually have the most possibility to end up in that sort of situation, it's just generally not gonna happen.

    • @davehart1027
      @davehart1027 3 дня назад +4

      If your trading blows. You messed up

    • @davehart1027
      @davehart1027 3 дня назад +1

      @NigmaSuperZo sword and shield, defend your people, don't strike anyone with your sword,, if your a Knight you would be intimate enough, I'm still trying to process power struggles and politak stuff

    • @littlekong7685
      @littlekong7685 2 дня назад +7

      The Russian martial training also makes certain cultural assumptions, pain and injury endurance are as widely trained as attacking, apparently very little is in avoiding, deceiving, or retreating from harm. A Russian soldier is expected to attack, endure, or deflect and attack. But this means feints, and distance openers are ignored as an option generally, but that also features into their combat mindset, if their main weapon is lost, pistol is empty, don't fall back to reload or rearm, advance with your knife and keep going.

    • @Scugzerker
      @Scugzerker 2 дня назад +2

      @@davehart1027 I hope you mean intimidating... intimate means something else ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • @dmwanderer9454
    @dmwanderer9454 4 дня назад +393

    What I love about demo's like these is they assume either the user has super speed or the attacker isnt gonna react

    • @Candlemancer
      @Candlemancer 4 дня назад +97

      20th level fighter vs CR 1/8 bandit. He has 4 attacks per round so he can do all that nonsense.

    • @reptiloidmitglied2930
      @reptiloidmitglied2930 4 дня назад +30

      Since I played a character with a Sandevistan* in Cyberpunk these instructions became much more relateable 😅
      *From the players perspective: up to 80% time slow for your opponents while you move with normal speed;
      from the NPCs perspektive: someone is moving really fast and mows down other people

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +82

      100% needs super speed to pull off.

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад +9

      ​@Skallagrim you Canadians dont have superpowers yet either??? Dang no wonder everyone is talking about western empire in collapse.

    • @leth5540
      @leth5540 4 дня назад +8

      ​@@Candlemancerpretty sure operator is a Wizard and coughed out the Haste on him, so it's actually 5 attacks... Also it's pretty obvious, that Rogue person is Staggered, possibly Confused too.😂

  • @johntheknight3062
    @johntheknight3062 4 дня назад +603

    In Russia the blade aligns you.

  • @n0tthemessiah
    @n0tthemessiah 4 дня назад +223

    I'm always dodging strange and barely effective sword strikes by being an exceptionally jiggly boi

    • @kynaston1474
      @kynaston1474 4 дня назад +4

      This gets my vote for best comment!

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад +1

      Russia exports jiggly boi memes while Americans take their xenophbia to such an extreme level that the memes become serious biznez ww3.

    • @dbKneecapped
      @dbKneecapped 4 дня назад +19

      ​@@nowayjosedaniel That's a weird comment about Americans and xenophobia when I've seen you replying to multiple people with "You Americans", or "west bad" in some sort of variation.
      Just pointing that out before I proceed to ignore you forever, I'd rather not turn Skall's comment section into a political shit slinging contest.

    • @Khazar321
      @Khazar321 4 дня назад +8

      ​@@nowayjosedaniel a troll profile picture and all comments are troll opinions.. hilarious dude, hope you're happy with your career.

    • @krikeydial3430
      @krikeydial3430 3 дня назад +7

      If you jiggle fast enough you become incorporeal.

  • @Nightmare-pj4fg
    @Nightmare-pj4fg 4 дня назад +203

    The ultimate defense against a blade when you’re unarmed . . .
    🏃 🏃 🏃

    • @Candlemancer
      @Candlemancer 4 дня назад +24

      But everyone knows you run faster with a knife

    • @karloswald407
      @karloswald407 4 дня назад +31

      @@Candlemancer so then just make sure you always carry two knives, so you can outrun an attacker with just one knife

    • @SyntheticFuture
      @SyntheticFuture 4 дня назад +7

      ​@@Candlemancerand unlike running with scissors running with a knife is perfectly save 😄

    • @lucasanderson1516
      @lucasanderson1516 4 дня назад +2

      I have an even more ingenious defense for if you're unarmed against a weapon...
      arm yourself

    • @kleinerprinz99
      @kleinerprinz99 4 дня назад +5

      @@lucasanderson1516 so true, a book, rolled up journal, a jacket, an umbrella, a chair, anything you can grab .. its funny that Jackie Chan movies even though its meant to be comedy and he did have to retry certain things several times is still more realistic and helpful than anything else you see trying to teach you self defense, because he uses the environment and gets beat up too, there is no "free" self defense with the risk of harm if someone is intend on harming you you have to be as fierce

  • @locke03
    @locke03 4 дня назад +180

    Give the rates of alcohol abuse in Russia, maybe the assumption is that one or both combatants are drunk out of their minds?

    • @weswolever7477
      @weswolever7477 4 дня назад +38

      Vod ka jutsu?

    • @olencone4005
      @olencone4005 4 дня назад +23

      That would certainly explain the attacker's incredibly bad balance.... :P

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад +5

      Okay cool, now compare to alcohol abuse in the states, especially among minors.

    • @NicholasNappi
      @NicholasNappi 4 дня назад +11

      As a Russian guy myself I agree. These guys most likely had two too many shots of vodka.

    • @NicholasNappi
      @NicholasNappi 4 дня назад

      @@weswolever7477lol

  • @schonnj
    @schonnj 4 дня назад +120

    The Skeletor "What?!" was perfectly timed.

  • @cameronshank9257
    @cameronshank9257 4 дня назад +54

    The first clip looks like an A.I. interpretation of a sword fight.

  • @DemianX6x6x6X
    @DemianX6x6x6X 4 дня назад +68

    ''contactless'' fighting, proceeds to (weirdly) hug his opponent

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад

      If it's off by a single atom, it's contactless. Shame you Americans cant even see. What kind of standard vision do you have over there? Something as blind as 20/20?

    • @konstantin3374
      @konstantin3374 4 дня назад +10

      It's not fighting, it's sexual assault at that point.

    • @bringmemyflail1321
      @bringmemyflail1321 2 дня назад +2

      It's a perfectly normal hug where he is from. How dare you judge his culture.

    • @andreydoronin6995
      @andreydoronin6995 День назад

      Contactless fighting is an old meme in the Russian community. There were some schools that taught various esoteric techniques based on controlling the chi energy which can be used basically like the blood bending from Avatar the Last Airbender. The actual lore is pretty grim though, the masters would often abuse the students physically and emotionally to make them basically vegetables that would fall unconscious every time the master would raise his hand, making an illusion of their "technique" (aside from his friends who would play fake students when the school is still small).

  • @johannestetzelivonrosador7317
    @johannestetzelivonrosador7317 4 дня назад +230

    Me going into the video: surely it can't be worse than log combat
    Me after the video: it's worse than log combat

    • @angusmuir6180
      @angusmuir6180 4 дня назад +17

      Log... combat...? Is this something I should know about?

    • @Candlemancer
      @Candlemancer 4 дня назад +63

      @@angusmuir6180 "self defense" by... basically dropping a log on your unnaturally compliant atacker? Don't ask why you're being attacked while carrying around a log but not the axe you presumaby used to cut said log.

    • @reptiloidmitglied2930
      @reptiloidmitglied2930 4 дня назад

      ​@@angusmuir6180Search for "Skallagrim log" and you get the answer.
      I won't tell more about it because that's something you have to see yourself.

    • @arandomcomp2427
      @arandomcomp2427 4 дня назад +8

      It's a video small reacted before of guy teaching how to hit a guy attacking with a sword while you are carrying a huge sword.
      Title is fake sword combat ( skull loses it )
      The video is quite a trip.

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +70

      The wriggle dance sure is. The rest is surprisingly alright, for the most part.

  • @Deathbystrudel
    @Deathbystrudel 4 дня назад +122

    I'm not surprised this is tagged as Systema. Those of us who do unarmed martial arts all know it's bullshido. You could find something more effective from Master Ken.

    • @theaikidoka
      @theaikidoka 4 дня назад +29

      Master Ken is a deliberate parody, these guys are serious. Ken wins.

    • @gehlesen559
      @gehlesen559 4 дня назад +2

      Russian Grandmaster.

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +43

      That's why I was so surprised to also see some reasonable techniques shown.

    • @GuitarsRockForever
      @GuitarsRockForever 4 дня назад +7

      Master Ken is legit, the best of all, worst of none.

    • @MonkeyJedi99
      @MonkeyJedi99 4 дня назад +1

      Looks like a good "systema" for an instructor to separate fools and their money.
      -
      edit: To clarify, I am referring to the 'wiggle defense'.

  • @sadclownsad9396
    @sadclownsad9396 4 дня назад +57

    I feel like you generally dont want to rub your upperbody agains a sword

    • @TomiTapio
      @TomiTapio 4 дня назад

      "use your ribcage as a contact area, don't let foe do a full strike"

    • @DryFrankie
      @DryFrankie 4 дня назад +7

      Don't try to tell me how to live my life/die my death.

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад +1

      Jiggly bois unlock power levels you Americans cannot even imagine yet.

    • @xMingan
      @xMingan 4 дня назад +2

      no kink shaming, bro, come on

    • @gjigaqaquj
      @gjigaqaquj 4 дня назад +1

      But what if im really itchy during the fight. Like deathly itchy

  • @LordReginaldMeowmont
    @LordReginaldMeowmont 4 дня назад +69

    Looks like something Steven Seagal would teach lmao.

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +35

      Too much effort. :D

    • @fwiffo
      @fwiffo 3 дня назад +12

      Steven Segal could do this sitting down!

    • @SirPraiseSun
      @SirPraiseSun 2 дня назад +3

      @@fwiffo while downing bagels

    • @javierpatag3609
      @javierpatag3609 2 дня назад +2

      Doesn’t he live in Russia now?

    • @SirPraiseSun
      @SirPraiseSun 2 дня назад +3

      @@javierpatag3609 ok fine while eating Blini

  • @rooroo9216
    @rooroo9216 4 дня назад +26

    1:40 “the defender does his seductive snake manoeuvre then…” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @XathexX
    @XathexX 4 дня назад +53

    Charitable take: In training sometimes we work on one aspect at a time. Example: A drill that is to train relaxed flowing motion may not be "effective" in any way but still may help you learn balance and relaxed movement without tension. The context you may not see doesn't make the video. Where the teacher explains that this is not a fighting technique but rather a training drill.
    I train in Aikido and our sword practice is not at all the same as Kendo or Kenjutsu. This is because the purpose is to teach alignment, balance, extension & projecting power. It is said practice unarmed as if you have a weapon and weapons as if you are unarmed. Posture alignment, blending moving off the line of attack should be nearly identical either way.

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад

      Not just that, but Americans love to see anything Russia or China and their xenophobia goes off to such an extreme that they start assuming everyone ther re must be a ritraded ape and then take themselves as serious as ww3.

    • @tristanswain7107
      @tristanswain7107 4 дня назад +8

      The problem with training a technique that is 'for balance' not actual combat is muscle memory, you are likely going to use it instinctually leaving you in a bad position

    • @Ikworsu
      @Ikworsu 4 дня назад +10

      "I train in Aikido". . . You lost me there, you cannot drop a red flag that massive while talking about practices at martial arts.

  • @devin5201
    @devin5201 4 дня назад +9

    The other guy looks like a dark souls enemy getting parried and going "wooooah how'd you do that?"

  • @Nushnark
    @Nushnark 4 дня назад +67

    That first one looks like a bard and a swashbuckler in DnD tried to do a sword choreography perfomance, but both rolled a 1.

  • @masonmario495
    @masonmario495 3 дня назад +6

    Saw the wiggle in the thumbnail and immediately thought "this is gonna be systema bullshit, isn't it?"

  • @ticijevish
    @ticijevish 3 дня назад +6

    I absolutely love the types of self-defense techniques that only work if the attacker is moving in slow-motion, while the "victim" is normal speed. Helps me train for the days my super-speed finally kicks in.

  • @Safill
    @Safill 3 дня назад +2

    Skall, I havnt seen that *concern* meme in at least 10 years. Why are you unlocking memories?

  • @procow2274
    @procow2274 4 дня назад +23

    This is worse than normal bullshido because sharp pointy things

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +4

      Yup, the cost of failing to pull it off is a little higher...

  • @youremakingprogress144
    @youremakingprogress144 4 дня назад +7

    Thank you so much for making the point that technique needs to be tested against people who don't also train in that technique, who don't know how it's expected to work, and who aren't invested in reinforcing what you think you know.

  • @ShinoSarna
    @ShinoSarna 4 дня назад +18

    As far as I know, Systema is based around rolling with the punches, so your hypothesis makes sense.

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +18

      Which makes sense in case of unarmed attacks, although it's odd to put so much emphasis on it. Normally it's a way to mitigate damage when your defense has already failed... to use it as seemingly the primary defense doesn't compute in my brain.

    • @VulpeRenard
      @VulpeRenard 4 дня назад +11

      @@Skallagrim The guy I've trained under since 2002 is certified to teach Systema under Vladimir Vasiliev (the Spetsnaz one, not the ballet one), who I've met, moved with, and have heard a lot more about from my instructor. Now at the school I train at, my instructor doesn't teach direct Systema, but at times will talk about incorporating it into close-quarters fighting, usually in BJJ, trapping, and close-range knife/pistol (using, not defending against).
      The hypothesis on "rolling with the punches" is a pretty accurate take on the general application of the stuff as we've been adapting it. It's a lot about moving with force in odd ways similar to Aikido or in some cases visually, maybe even drunken boxing. Most of the time whenever we work it in (which isn't often, admittedly), it's in the guise of grappling, not dealing with an incoming strike. Imagine someone trying to grapple with your shoulder or shirt collar and shrugging them closer to you with a limp shoulder roll vs digging in and tying up directly. The result isn't going to be someone magically falling over like their bones disappeared, but if they're expecting you to meet force with force and you momentarily fold, you can probably get him to stumble forward a step where you can leave something hard like a knee, elbow, or the top of your head in the path of their much softer, squishier parts.
      Unfortunately, the allure of "Top Secret Foreign Special Forces Fighting System that the US Government Tried to Steal" coupled with the various practitioners who brought it over to the west kind of created this kind of Jeet Kune Do situation where certain people have claims over what the "Real Systema" is and how much that can be marketed, now you've got stuff like "Healing Punches" or whatever that's supposed to mean. At this point, the small handful of popular videos/gifs have just made it the butt of of most "bullshido" forums.

    • @krivdik
      @krivdik 4 дня назад +5

      @@Skallagrim I have also been trained in Systema, that was following the Ryabko school for 4 years. And yes there were also alot of teacher around, that had their own "versions" and were very vocal about, coming up with large variety of moveset, that were realy head scratching.
      What I learned and still remember to this day is, that it taught me proper body movement, posture(mine was terrible when I started), feeling of strengh - as weird as it sounds, but basicaly hit soft with hard, hit hard with soft (soft on soft does nothing, hard on hard - you will likely get yourself injured or break bones), what we focused on was movement, reading of oponent, being able to relax, redirection of force and using it againts your oponent, using as little strength for maximum effect, submissions, control of opponent, grabling, how to get out of these situations too and general agility more than just brute strength, punches, kicks etc.
      It is a System afterall, it should cover all aspects. Including training with weapons, unarmed, improvised weapon (whatever you find in your pockets). Multiple opponents (this was realy hard, and what we learned was, that people would mostly just freeze or get stuck, and had no idea what to do, they would shut down and get overwhelmed, even though that training may seem pointless, what it did teach is,,move move move, even if that defense may be suboptimal, it is better that just freezing in place and getting yourself killed).
      Another thing I got out of it is I learned how to be calm, even when in stressful situation, reading movement of people and general geometry of ones body (weakpoints, locks, throwing somebody out of balance etc.) It is not perfect and even my teacher told me, in order to make this practical in full, go and learn other martial arts, not just to complement the foundation from systema, but it can also provide you with broad overview of what works and what doesn't for you which I think was generaly a good mindset to have.

    • @SirPraiseSun
      @SirPraiseSun 2 дня назад +1

      systema is based around rolling out your braincells

    • @eln5343
      @eln5343 5 минут назад

      Wasn't the initial intended application of systema surviving interrogation? (Not 100% sure if I rember that right.)

  • @shinomori69
    @shinomori69 4 дня назад +64

    Ahhh systema. Never fails to get a chuckle out of me.

    • @R_lulu
      @R_lulu 2 дня назад +1

      NGL I read systerna, and my mind went to cisterna

    • @erikcrouch7881
      @erikcrouch7881 День назад

      That bunch of bullshido puts off big Detroit Urban Survival Tactics energy.

  • @davefletch3063
    @davefletch3063 4 дня назад +5

    He was wearing that sexy chainmail shirt he borrowed from Frodo

  • @jamesodwyer4181
    @jamesodwyer4181 4 дня назад +7

    "How did we get here?!"
    I dunno mate, I'm just along for the ride

  • @sw-gs
    @sw-gs 4 дня назад +41

    Just like Steven "I will sit on chair now" Seagal.

  • @greghenrikson952
    @greghenrikson952 4 дня назад +14

    I've used this defense many times in HEMA bouts, but the judges are biased against me!

  • @robo1540
    @robo1540 4 дня назад +4

    i love your tiny gauntlet cursor its so awesome

  • @W4iteFlame
    @W4iteFlame 4 дня назад +6

    Attacker should be unfamiliar with a concept of using tools for this to work, not only weapons

  • @ShadeScarecrow
    @ShadeScarecrow 4 дня назад +15

    Ah yes, let me deflect this sword with the body part that contains most of my vital organs...

    • @ghostnote1970
      @ghostnote1970 4 дня назад

      😃👍
      Absolutely! 😆🤣

    • @Монс-й1ь
      @Монс-й1ь 4 дня назад

      "Igor, stop that blade!"
      "Instructions unclear" *takes off enemy weapon by jumping on blade and turning himself into the pin cushion*

  • @markfarmer7534
    @markfarmer7534 4 дня назад +11

    The instant the blades touch, one of them completely ragdolls every time. Sometimes even bending their body to expose their neck and entirely looking away from their opponent. I think this strategy only works if your opponent is so intimidated by you, they assume they are going to lose from the beginning.

    • @olencone4005
      @olencone4005 4 дня назад

      In anime, the winner of a duel is often determined in the stare-down before their blades are even drawn. In real-life tho... ehhh, not so much hehe! :P

  • @C_F_M
    @C_F_M 4 дня назад +4

    I get a feeling the flat slapping is to prevent injury, I know that's been a thing in history across many cultures

  • @KanaraVeluna
    @KanaraVeluna 4 дня назад +3

    Hey Skall, you might have minsunderstood thefirst clip there. The technique the guy with the saber uses is an russian saber technique meant to slice your opponent's nipple, which leaves him incapacitated and probably flabbergasted as well.

  • @Crangaso
    @Crangaso 4 дня назад +44

    LMFAO - doing this will get your johnson cut off

    • @robertb6889
      @robertb6889 4 дня назад +1

      It's the "cock-block" technique.

    • @Amy_the_Lizard
      @Amy_the_Lizard 2 дня назад +1

      If you're LUCKY. If you're unlucky, you get disemboweled.

  • @FirstLast-wk3kc
    @FirstLast-wk3kc 4 дня назад +8

    "Contactless". It's about flipping telekinetic powers

  • @guyfawkes5012
    @guyfawkes5012 4 дня назад +7

    just seeing the thumbnail i knew it was systema, its uniquely ridiculous haha

  • @j.troydoe1278
    @j.troydoe1278 4 дня назад +38

    I will just throw a pommel

  • @sybransnoeck6987
    @sybransnoeck6987 4 дня назад +8

    Aikido by saber wielding wodka cossacks?

  • @mrgoober6320
    @mrgoober6320 3 дня назад +2

    The quintessential bullshido move is: "you overcommit to a strike and then I counter". Anybody who tries to show off by doing this is immediately suspect.

  • @DudokX
    @DudokX 4 дня назад +20

    whats with Russian martial arts and the "contactless" bs. They already did it in systema that was popular like 10-15 years ago where guy in the video was always barely touching people who fell down for no reason
    Like imagine if the guy with the sabre did what the hero in Deluge movie did in the duel. no chance of any of this

    • @christopherreed4723
      @christopherreed4723 4 дня назад

      A variation of the other kind of Russian martial arts video where practitioners demonstrate how hardcore they and their techniques are by practising with live blades?

    • @budgetcommander4849
      @budgetcommander4849 4 дня назад +4

      Seems like propaganda to me. "Russian military is so strong, they don't even need to block!"

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад

      ​@budgetcommander4849 It's amazing that american xenophobia is so intense, and you guys propagandized to such an insane degree, that anytime you see Russia or China do anything, you assume it cant be a fun meme or some out of context video - but a full throttle deeply serious religious belief from mentally handicapped subhuman ape foreigners who dont know how the most basic components of real life work.

    • @nowayjosedaniel
      @nowayjosedaniel 4 дня назад

      Occams Razor dude. What is more likely?
      1.) Everyone too foreign from you is a suicidal subhuman ape who doesnt know how anything works
      2.) Theyre the same as any other human, except you're so propagandized that you cant see straight.

    • @konstantin3374
      @konstantin3374 4 дня назад

      Well these people make money out of it, presenting this bullshit as patriotic activity for youth and either getting govt backing or fools who pay to be taught that crap.
      We have Sambo for real people though.

  • @shanelyon414
    @shanelyon414 4 дня назад +10

    Yes, I really see the Sagat side of the story, great scar if you live. Because if that is a real sabre, it’s pointy and SHARP, sabres are meant to slice after all.

  • @bringmemyflail1321
    @bringmemyflail1321 2 дня назад +3

    This is a traditional Russian Mating Dance. These two have four sons together.

  • @phma
    @phma 4 дня назад +22

    Lol have you never seen this before? you should see his neck vs knife defence. It's like someone used kung pow as an instructional movie.

  • @olencone4005
    @olencone4005 4 дня назад +6

    That wiggle-jiggle video totally reminded me of some bunk martial arts video from a few years ago. The sensei of a dojo claimed to have a "perfect ki defense" that was so great no one could even land a punch on him -- he had all these videos showing this, as his students came at him and completely whiffed as the sensei used his "ki" to casually evade their strike, usually followed by him doing some hand wave Naruto "ki" thing that caused the students to literally go flying. A real martial artist signed up for his class, pretending to have no skill, and promptly KO'd the sensei in their first sparring, because "ki" isn't a real thing if you're not in an anime -- which pretty much ended all the hype around him :P

    • @julietfischer5056
      @julietfischer5056 3 дня назад +2

      Puts me in mind of another black belt who also claimed to use this power. When his students could see him do his trick, they fell over. When they couldn't see him, nothing happened.
      Of course, he had a rationalization, but it was one that made his supposed super-power useless: the slightest change in the target could negate his energy. Moving the tongue, or twitching a toe, or shifting weight. We move _all the time_ in some way or another (and I don't mean breathing or heartbeat). {As I type this, I am suddenly aware of my blinking and other movements.}

    • @Darca1n
      @Darca1n 3 дня назад

      @@julietfischer5056 There's lots of other things that you become very aware of when pointed out too, that you usually don't think about.
      Like how your breathing is now manual, rather than automatic, because now you're thinking about it.

    • @julietfischer5056
      @julietfischer5056 2 дня назад

      @@Darca1n- Or you're aware that you're breathing and some dumb little part of you decides that the cue to hold your breath so now you have to think about it.

  • @gehlesen559
    @gehlesen559 4 дня назад +9

    You need to see the Russian Grandmaster. You just need to. Trust me.

  • @DarknessProphet
    @DarknessProphet 3 дня назад +1

    "What would be your Street Fighter theme song?"
    "Snoop Dogg's Wiggle, of course."

  • @AnotherBrownAjah
    @AnotherBrownAjah 4 дня назад +13

    SKALLS FOR THE SKALLGORITHUM

  • @guntertorfs6486
    @guntertorfs6486 4 дня назад +15

    I bet he kills it on the dance floor though.

  • @ZeroXSEED
    @ZeroXSEED 4 дня назад +1

    Bro trying to steal taichi's homework and changed it a bit and expecting it to be super effective

  • @nextcaesargaming5469
    @nextcaesargaming5469 4 дня назад +44

    These are some Detroit Tactical ahh moves

  • @GarGhuul
    @GarGhuul 4 дня назад +2

    Makes me think of an anecdote about the live-action Street Fighter movie, with Raul Julia. Apparently at first they trained and choreographed the fight scenes with the actors pretty much all using the same overall style. Until someone pointed out that was the opposite of the point with Street Fighter “The World Warriors.”

  • @nonenone762
    @nonenone762 4 дня назад +7

    As a russian i'm amused😀. How about to make video about russian slapping contests?

  • @Devin_Laugherin
    @Devin_Laugherin 4 дня назад +7

    ah yes, famous russian cosplay tin-slapping, looks like they never grown out of the 90s, in a lot of senses

    • @TheSpadaLunga
      @TheSpadaLunga 2 дня назад

      nah all these bullshidoes already died in Russia, even videos that Skall shows have really shitty quality

  • @IsisLBz
    @IsisLBz 4 дня назад +5

    I'm just an observer of sword arts... the arm position and edge of the Saber the kid's holding against Mr Bushido, he'd also likely have lost his head, or at least had his throat slit/ deep gouge with diagonal upward slash, I mean... like... the Saber is right under his chin😵🙄

    • @gokbay3057
      @gokbay3057 2 дня назад

      Yeah, I also have no experience with a sword but I feel like instead of continuing with the thrust/draw cut? that he got going he could just swing his arm to the right to do a cut at the other guys chest or head/neck.

  • @treepotato9273
    @treepotato9273 4 дня назад +8

    The thing that bothers me with these demonstrations is the attempt to make it look "casual", like they're trying to act all cool and blasé but all it really does it makes it look silly.

    • @VelaiciaCreator
      @VelaiciaCreator 4 дня назад +3

      It appears that without protective padding, they are going slowly, but in doing so lax their legwork and just walk around while making the blade motions. From the clothing, it feels like a military recreational activity more than anything.

    • @treepotato9273
      @treepotato9273 4 дня назад +1

      @@VelaiciaCreator I see the same thing in all forms of combat though, or at least all the ones that appear in youtube videos for looking a bit silly lol. Maybe I'm just jaded by all the sheer nonsense I've seen though.

    • @VelaiciaCreator
      @VelaiciaCreator 4 дня назад +2

      @@treepotato9273 Honestly you'll get that with newbies of all sorts, like Shadiversity.

  • @dayel11
    @dayel11 3 дня назад +2

    Speaking of machete, i found a very nsfw video on reddit some times ago, where some douches, both armed with machetes, stares and shout at each other for a while, then when they start whacking they end up in a brawl that last 5 second, one of the dude fall, get up and pick up his hand from the ground before walking away.
    The other see the scene while walking away in the other direction and check if he still has both hands.
    Real blade fights are not really forgiving.

  • @Arachnoid_of_the_underverse
    @Arachnoid_of_the_underverse 4 дня назад +10

    Use the farce Skall, use the farce.

  • @Tavish_cat
    @Tavish_cat 4 дня назад +1

    new bard technique: The seductive dodge

  • @HanleiHess
    @HanleiHess 4 дня назад +22

    You always know how to make good content!

  • @ProcyonDei
    @ProcyonDei День назад

    A master defeating his opponent through the power of interpretative dancing...

  • @andywilson8698
    @andywilson8698 4 дня назад +3

    Id like to see a video of a smallsword parring ridicoulus weapons (like a great sword, or two hand axe)!!! Hope said its possible !!!

  • @Just_Some_Person
    @Just_Some_Person 2 дня назад

    “It’s a bold strategy, Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.”

  • @alexeyvlasenko6622
    @alexeyvlasenko6622 4 дня назад +1

    Well, you know, if the swordsman realizes that you are unarmed, basically harmless and probably insane, he might decide that there is no need to kill you, and just play along to defuse the situation in a way that causes the least possible harm.

  • @darwinjones2059
    @darwinjones2059 22 часа назад

    The moment you said it was Systema I started cackling like a madman, you have no clue how deep the rabbit hole goes

  • @I_Willenbrock_I
    @I_Willenbrock_I 4 дня назад +17

    Skall... There is nothing to understand...

  • @Vegetyus
    @Vegetyus 4 дня назад +3

    Probably giving them more credit than is deserved, but the striking with the flat may be a safety convention for sparring/demonstration in this system. Doesn't necessarily seem like a good idea from a development of muscle memory point of view, but it's the only way I can think of that it could make sense. I don't know how consistently they did that in the videos.

    • @stevene6482
      @stevene6482 4 дня назад +3

      I was thinking that as a “gotcha” possibility too. If the swords are blunted though, you might as well just tap with the edge.

  • @mksmike
    @mksmike 4 дня назад +3

    I remember watching a sensei seth video a couple years ago where he tried systema and his conclusion was that it was a good exercise to complement other martial arts since it helps you relax your body
    but also that systema is not particularly useful by itself.

    • @Jossandoval
      @Jossandoval День назад

      On the same level then synchronized artistic swimming then, nice!
      ... As a fighting style, not as an artistic expression or physical exercise. Synchronized swimming has systema beat in those two fields.

    • @mksmike
      @mksmike День назад

      @@Jossandoval I don't know, you should probably see the video for yourself if you have nothing better to do.

  • @Nirakolov
    @Nirakolov День назад

    "The enemy cannot use their sword, if you impale yourself on their sword"

  • @davidgeldner2167
    @davidgeldner2167 4 дня назад +1

    My face to your blade style

  • @ROMANTIKILLER2
    @ROMANTIKILLER2 4 дня назад +2

    In the first exchange, even if the snake dance dodge allowed to avoid that clumsy saber thrust, wouldn't be enough for the attacker to cut down at the leg or move the wrist and cut at the belly? 🤔

    • @gokbay3057
      @gokbay3057 2 дня назад

      Really feels like he's in position to do a cut somewhere relatively easily rather than continue with the thrust.

  • @MrJakedog104
    @MrJakedog104 4 дня назад +1

    This reminds me of that old polish saber video where the guy was parrying by letting the sword slice down his arm

  • @dogperson-wi9xl
    @dogperson-wi9xl 2 дня назад +1

    These techniques work if your opponent drops their controller.

  • @joshuabates2200
    @joshuabates2200 4 дня назад +2

    Maybe the wiggly snake dancing guy had a few sharpies in his shirt pocket or something and was trying to use those to help him deflect the saber? I don't know, there's simply not enough context. But that definitely looks like a sword based Darwin award just begging to happen.

  • @TheTangeriner
    @TheTangeriner 4 дня назад +3

    Easy when everything is in slow motion and the other dude is more dubmissive than a ragdoll cat.

    • @julietfischer5056
      @julietfischer5056 3 дня назад

      Did you mean to spell it with a 'd' or did you miss the 's'? ('Dubmissive' makes your comment even funnier.)

  • @MrSchism
    @MrSchism 2 дня назад

    When the master's ego is greater than his skill, his legacy remains a full cemetery; he just knows the names on the graves.

  • @grog2027
    @grog2027 8 часов назад

    I do contact juggling, apparently i can now defend myself against a sword..... ya...

  • @SashaTheDog
    @SashaTheDog 3 дня назад +1

    Ah yes Russian Bulshido, I love to see it.
    Gorkas and Afgankas and weirdly flailing arround thinking you are a psychic.

  • @dmgroberts5471
    @dmgroberts5471 День назад

    Attacker adjusts attack slightly, performs push cut.

  • @WedrowniczekJas
    @WedrowniczekJas День назад

    Ivan: I want HEMA.
    Mother: We have HEMA in motherland.
    HEMA in motherland:

  • @Howlrunner82
    @Howlrunner82 4 дня назад +4

    D.U.S.T.s legacy will never go away😅

  • @stray1357
    @stray1357 3 дня назад

    Snake dancing cool scars and gentle hugs. Maybe that's the slogan? 😂

  • @mopsydizzle
    @mopsydizzle 4 дня назад +8

    Russian combat theory dictates that there are no wrong techniques, only men to weak to do them. Throw enough men at it and someone will eventually come out with survivorship bias and vouch for it. See also every war they have ever fought.
    Edit: Boxing is a lot more about moving off-line for the opponent so they have to correct before retaliating than it is about seeing it coming. Thats anticipating the opponents options and being where they won't land more than it is seeing and reacting, although you also do that when you don't have a hand or shoulder in the way protecting your noggin but also blocking your vision.

  • @LJCyrus1
    @LJCyrus1 День назад

    My first thought was "maybe this is some kind of training for if you have armor?"
    But then I wondered why they weren't training in armor.

  • @EmeraldInferno81
    @EmeraldInferno81 2 дня назад

    See i always told people, that "JELLO" style, was the ultimate self defense, 🤣

  • @amberlyperkins8954
    @amberlyperkins8954 4 дня назад +25

    How come you're not more famous?!

  • @Brian_Rogers
    @Brian_Rogers 4 дня назад +1

    It might be time for a McDojo Life collab.

  • @HamuraiC-137
    @HamuraiC-137 4 дня назад +2

    I’ve been boxing since I was 8, just got my purple belt in bjj…if someone has a knife much less a sword I’m sprinting like a mother

    • @mirandapodoserpula
      @mirandapodoserpula 4 дня назад

      It's the correct response. I know this is the weapons channel and folks will want to arm themselves. Still. Running is often the lowest risk option. If you choose to fight, having a weapon you don't know how to use well can be equivalent to handing your opponent another thing to stab you with.
      You don't get bonus cool points for choosing to engage, you just get injured. Avoid getting into the fight at all. Embrace running the hell away.

    • @SonicFan313
      @SonicFan313 2 дня назад

      @@mirandapodoserpulaat max, arm yourself with something large and throw it back at guys that run behind you, so they have harder time chasing you, because you may lose some speed picking objects up, but they’ll lose much more trying to run at you and dodge shit you can throw at them

    • @Goiaba308
      @Goiaba308 День назад

      ​@@mirandapodoserpulatbh, you get bonus cool points. They just don't matter and you will die.

  • @CreepyMF
    @CreepyMF 4 дня назад +2

    Looked more like dancing at some point rather then martial arts, this was very funny.

  • @mischievousone9999
    @mischievousone9999 День назад

    This all looks like if someone with myopia hammered drunk out of their mind was watching the original duel between obi wan and Vader from a New Hope and thought to himself,” Ima open me a dojo!”

  • @tehweh8202
    @tehweh8202 4 дня назад +3

    I think the movements might make sense if we imagine the left huy in full plate armour and the other guy in just a simple tunic or light gambeson, and the armoured guy has the intention to not kill his opponent.
    In that scenario the left guy should be absolutely fine with getting a single cut or thrust, and it would explain the very defensive counterattacks. The question is though: Why doesn't he just punch the unarmoured guy in the face with his gauntlet and call it a day?

    • @Candlemancer
      @Candlemancer 4 дня назад +2

      Yeah in that scenario you don't need any fancy technique, just walk through the attack and backhand the guy with your gauntleted fist.

  • @LuxisAlukard
    @LuxisAlukard 2 дня назад

    Ah, the ancient "wiggle snake" technic of self defense:)

  • @lekmannen9990
    @lekmannen9990 4 дня назад +21

    Wow that snake meme is crazy old. Probably the first meme I ever saw on the www in the late 90’s maybe.
    Edit: badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger

    • @ethanmyers3742
      @ethanmyers3742 4 дня назад +8

      Mushroom
      Mushroom

    • @angusmuir6180
      @angusmuir6180 4 дня назад +4

      ​@@ethanmyers3742Snake, snake, ohhh it's a snake!

    • @weswolever7477
      @weswolever7477 4 дня назад +3

      BIG SNAKE!

    • @Skallagrim
      @Skallagrim  4 дня назад +7

      Only internet veterans know the OG memes.

    • @lekmannen9990
      @lekmannen9990 2 дня назад

      @@Skallagrim maybe a sword/melee weapon review of the stuff in the new spacemarine game would be fun? I’m enjoying the hell outa that game atm.

  • @Eckister
    @Eckister День назад

    "parry it with the spine. the spine of the blade, not your own spine!" ah ... I really should start watching the whole thing before executing instructions, huh?

  • @mitsuhide03
    @mitsuhide03 4 дня назад

    Its been a while man. I know you had a big weight loss journey, your looking good! Good job man.

  • @jdennis7221
    @jdennis7221 2 дня назад

    Would love to see Skall and the gang try to recreate some of these moves in a sparring context. You know, for science.

  • @immitatedone1511
    @immitatedone1511 2 дня назад

    A click bait is never late nor early... it arrives precisely when needed....

  • @slackerpope
    @slackerpope 3 дня назад

    Way to play this one straight, good stuff.

  • @MartinGreywolf
    @MartinGreywolf 3 дня назад +2

    So, a quick crash-course in what Systema actually is: after the USSR fell apart, a bunch of people started to crop up all over the place claiming to teach the secret SpetzNatz fighting arts. Some of them were legit in that they had military hand to hand spiced up with some of the former USSR zone combat sports. This legit side of Systema is pretty much just a different offshoot of things like Sambo.
    On the other hand, some of these folks were pro dodgers in that they dodged the Russian draft and never did a single pushup in their life. These people then started to spout all sorts of BS on how Systema is ancient Orthodox art of combat that was suppressed by the evil commies. This bullshido side of Systema is the same thing that you see happening to Tai Chi - someone taking a legit military wrestling style and crippling it with a baseball bat.
    Guessing which side the Systema in this video falls on is left as an exercise for the reader.