Me watching as a 31 year old woman without children: 😮 Kunini ngithi yoh😮😮 I am now grateful that my biggest problems right now are debt, an old car and overcoming procrastination at work
I share your sentiments. But for me as a man at 31, i have come to the decision that i wont have kids until i am in a good space mentally and emotionally. Regardless of if my relationship works or does not with the mother of my children in the future, i believe i should be in a space that we can make decisions that work for the child and not for ourselves.
Same here ..I'm my biggest challenge 😅 so I need a lot of attention and growth. I don't mind having a family in future but I would rather be at a stable life where I can take care of me and my children with generational wealth n a bit of political power and influence 😊..
Yhuu Sana if you still have a choice good for you we have another breed of men that is primarily promiscuous and unaccountable for their actions...worst of all they not even family orientated.... making babies for them is an ego boost... its sick I tell you
As an attorney and with much sympathy for the situation, it remains absolutely damaging for the kids to have such private matters on social media. There’s no context in which this being on social media will positively benefit your kids. Save on future therapy fees for the kids and keep these matters private - especially their names. I fully agree that our legal system has holes, but your reaction is within your control. Speaking only for the best interests of the child and wishing you all the best.
@@21stKingIn my honest opinion, the loopholes are in the process of being worked on but I wouldn’t rely on that for the moment. In the meantime, a plan of action is required. I’ve worked on behalf of both fathers and mothers when it comes to matters of parental alienation and loss of contact - the underlying issue is generally that one party has been hurt in some way by the other party, and they use the child as a tool to punish the other party. Addressing the underlying issue works almost all of the time. In addressing the underlying hurt, it also has to be stressed that for co-parenting to work, the love for the child must be greater than the hatred/disdain for the other parent. The legality of fighting for your child has a huge psychological component to it for you to get what you want - which is access to your child. A video like this which airs out private matters of aunts and grandmothers etc can only serve to strengthen that family’s resolve in not cooperating, and cooperation is the key to getting what you want. With the current loopholes in the legal system, you have to learn to play the game with what you have at your disposal to get what you’re looking for. You need to act in such a way that you lower the other side’s perceived need to fight and defend themselves. This is a video I would caution a client against, simply because it makes it harder to have the other party cooperate, not because the contents of the video are untrue. You can choose to be right and put it on social media, or you can choose to play ball and get what you want. Not to say that Pen hasn’t been hurt too, but what he wants is in the hands of the other side. It’s a game of psychology to get what you’re legally entitled to. The courts can only do so much, the real win is when you have good faith cooperation from the other side. Sorry for the long response 😂
My first thought was. 'why name the children and even roughly where they are based'. One day the kids will watch these videos and its a lot of TMI. Plus naming all the messiness is for a therapists office not the whole world Ntwana.
Being open-minded and respecting others' beliefs are fundamental values that I believe society should uphold. After listening to you speak on this topic for some time now and reflecting on the challenges of raising kinds, I’ve come to appreciate why monogamy-and by extension, marriage-might have evolved for practical reasons. It seems that, for the stability of society, a nuclear family structure may be the most conducive for raising children. Given the stakes, there is a risk that an open and unrestricted lifestyle, even for responsible individuals, may lead to unforeseen challenges. Nonetheless, I sincerely wish you and your family the best as you navigate this situation and find a solution that works for your children and you as parents.
I 100% agree with you, as a non-monogamous man. I have kids with one woman I am no longer with, and I want to have more. I've tried to dissect how to have more children while living the lifestyle I do, and honestly, it is much more difficult. Monogamy would automatically resolve half the issues Pen is talking about here, but at the same time, it would come at the expense of his happiness and way of life. At the end of the day, we have kids, and one day they will grow up to be adults and live their own lives. You’ll be left to live the rest of your days based on the lifestyle choices you made. Are you going to be miserable because you were never truly yourself, and you did it just for the sake of family and keeping the peace? For me, what's more important is inner peace. So, until I find a way to effectively parent as a non-monogamous man, I'll wait it out.
It is so sad honestly. Son's grow up with so much anger because they are wounded children. Unfortunately, son's may end up being resentful and act as such. Women do lose it when the romantic picture they imagined is broken. They too need mental health intervention. Maybe her family also did not realise the damage because clearly she is deeply broken. Socio-psycho disorders are a real thing. We come across such individuals at many corners of life. They are not well at all!
@godpenuel I understand that but we also can't avoid the fact that we are failing society as amadoda. Are we now going to have another generation of broken men?
My Heart Goes Out To You My Brother... Please Don't Give Up on Your Kids Who Are Innocent In All Of This... Don't Stop Supporting The Kids because of their Mothers... Stay Strong Until They Are 18 Years Old... Don't You Dare Give Up On Those Kids... You Don't Need Their Mother's Permission To Be Their Father... Mina I would steal my occasional moments with my kids... I would rather the police arrest me at his football matches watching... I have my own way of knowing when and where he's playing... And the least I'm worried about is him going home and telling his mother I was there at the games or at the school concert... I am there regardless... PLEASE DON'T PUNISH YOUR KIDS
@@humphrey4071"struggles" that he brought upon himself... Don't forget that part. Sex is a choice, let alone unprotected sex and it has consequences. His reason for having kids in the first place with multiple women outside of wedlock was dumb, manje ufuna sithi "oh shame"?
@Lee_Nolo Guys Penwell doesn't seem to understand his role in creating this toxic dillema. He is literary the definition of "Welcome to the consequences of your actions."
I must admit, standing from the outside looking in, its hard not to pass judgement on to you. But that's not the point, i am more worried about the kids my brother. I don't think we truly recognize the trauma that is passed on to kids by the decisions of the parents. I would like to believe in time your kids image of who you are, will be heavily influenced by what the mothers feel about you. I am kind of emotional about the issue because my dad did not want to be part of my life for whatever reason, my mom never went out of her way to get me to know him and he didn't try anyway. I grew up thinking both my parents did not love me because my mom felt she was overwhelmed by having me. I went about life trying to prove i was deserving of their love, to get validation from them, i failed dismally, I had a relationship with a woman that i loved, it failed because of my failed relationship with my parents. At 31 i am trying to pick my life because everything went downhill for me. But i say this, do your best to ensure that atleast you try keep communication open with all your kids. Nothing more sad then asking yourself as kid, why dad is not around and being told he is a deadbeat, its no joke it tears you up slowly
Thank you for this text and mostly thank you for the effort you put to understand each and every aspect of your life so you understand the effects on your life. With that IQ... May your EQ support it and maybe you come out successful, prosperous and Happy. ❤
How did your own relationship end because of the disconnect you have with your parents, can you elaborate on this please, I often hear people say it can have an effect to this day I fail to understand@@mananammalegae
The mother of my 22 months old daughter by the name of Ms Kekeletso Nakeli (a columnist at The Citizen Newspaper) has also not only kept me away from my child since May 2024, but also alienated me from the child. Mind you, I supported the child since birth until May this year after I lost my job in January. I was barred from seeing the child even on Father's day (despite asking two weeks in advance to see the child for that day) and subsequent visitations. Likewise when I asked that the child spend December 2025 holidays with me I was denied. Before anyone asks “Why don't take her to court?” Simple, with what means and resources when I have zero? And also, why should a loving father “fight” for a right to their child in the first place? Especially considering the mother was unemployed for the majority of 2023 and I supported her too. Also, the same woman who had an extra marital affair with a married man from 2020 to 2021 and continued to be in communication with the man during the pregnancy of our daughter, which ultimately led to the breakdown of my relationship with her.
@Chomza15 your last paragraph tells me everything I need to know you had it seems like you had signs to leave prior but you stayed and made a baby with her and potentially putting your offspring in danger and for what???....we need to choose better parents for our offsprings I blame you as well as I also blame her you should have chosen that better that woman was bad news
I am sorry for the kids that they are in the midst of parents and families that do not put them 1st. I pray for your healing, the healing of the mothers and grandmothers and i just ask that they put their differences aside for the sake of the beautiful babies they are raising...shoooo its a terrible world out there!
Why don't you open an account or a trust fund for your children and deposit money send them documents but silently contribute one day at University level they will have access without their mothers your kids will see your contribution than your words action speaks louder than words.....🙏🙏🙏
But there's something you not saying. It seems these women have suffered a lot during your relationship. Have you been upfront about your principles that you only going to impregnate them and not marry them? That they will only be your baby making machines so u could realize ur vision? If you lied and did not disclose your plans, as much it's not fair, accept that they are bound to retaliate by denying you that which you valued the most. One could actually say, you used these women, and now you using words like, provide, money, my kids, law, courts, banks etc. Have you asked yourself how ruined their dream are after bearing these children and all of a sudden have to go look for another man? Men these days are reluctant to marry women with kids, have you thought of that? I'm not promoting their actions, but be matured enough to know that the reason you are here, it's because of choices you made.
He has said time and time again that he was not perfect in those relationships and that he has hurt some of the mothers in whatever way. What’s your point though, that he must accept not seeing his kids?
@@lovelyladylee275so we must just gloss over that huh? Since he already said time & time again, as you say, that he wasn't perfect. Since you know him better, did he tell these ladies that he's a polygamist, before he impregnated them? That's the main question that op asked.
The kids should never be deprived of a relationship with their parent based off a broken relationship between their parents. It is crucial to the child to deprive them of such a crucial part of their lives
@@zoephilile2274 True but you have to understand that this is situational, people are reactionary, if you play them dirty and lie to ruin their future under false pretense, they will also react by using the little power that they have. This means, penuel must tread carefully and warm towards the said lady. Overtime she will heal and the pain of being made a fool will subside.
From listening to his story. Pretty sure that him AND the mothers came together with it only being a matter of time before everything goes south, cause all of them came together, individually being broken people. Now the kids are suffering.
And what about the womans part in creating broken homes? As far as i know they were willing participatns as well. It takes two to tango. Cant blame one person@zeesays726
@@Bestme78 I strictly believe in marriage and kids after anything else I'm against. Sex before marriage has never resulted in blessings I've never seen it in my lifetime.
As a 22 year old young man who was on Drugs 9 years mostly because my Father wasn't there to beat me up because He and My Mother went at each other like cats and dogs. He fell out with my mom and for the majority of my teenage years while I was high I kept hearing "Your just like your father , I hate you both" , One day She kicked me out after an argument , I arrived at my father's house 1st thing he did was beat me up. Long story short I've been clean and strong as an ox ever since and all I needed was my father's love. But I hated him for the majority of my life only to find out that that He's just a Xhosa man who likes discipline very far from perfect but Who is Perfect ? ❤ THE HILLS HAVE EYES PENUEL , WHO ARE WOMEN TO JUDGE ?
@Thato2448 Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy that you're clean, strong and sober. Please put in more work to become a better man & to avoid the same decisions your father made. It's not easy but you have to try.
@@Penuelism Thank you. I'll give it my all. Keep the Godlike conversations coming , your really making a difference for alot of young men in South Africa who don't have a voice or a vision. 🤝
I'm glad you are going strong n keep the faith Thato. I hope you continue to be a light for other young and old men who seek a Farthers love but keep the faith to be better for themselves😊
This storyline is crazy as Penuel has shared his father had many kids with many ladies. Also he was raised by a single mother. But whats crazy as hes growing up he started to attract girls that come from households where they had issues with their father. What im learning from this as a young 23 yr old gent is ( Show me your friends ill show you your future. Show me your partners parents ill show your future relationship.
You attract people on the same level of your soul wounds..and you become more like those you spend most time with. Environment is the greatest influencer of behaviour. I think this is what he is saying ,simply put
The kids that you're cutting off, Instead of sending money as support, save that money. That way when the kids grow and can make their own decisions and visit you, you'd be like here is the money I have been saving for you for all the years we've never been together.
Don't give the mom money, pay school fees directly to the school, open bank accounts so you can EFT what is needed. Give them phones so you can keep the lines of communication open. Yah, you messed up - numerous kids with numerous women , because it's obvious you love them and want to be part of their lives (money aside) but it can still be fixed. Bosisi, you were old enough to keep it closed and not procreate so much. So you are partly to blame.
Even your face also lights up when you speak about your Kids Bhut Penuel, it's clear great memories have been created and how you describe each child testifies to how present you have been and that you have taken the time to get to know each child! Thats impressive! 😊
No, women have monolopy on the birth of children. If they're stupid enough to agree to this mess, we cant blame Pen, he didn't deceive them. They hoped to change his mind on monogamy and realized that men want what they want. Women are the only ones who get to decide on whether the human race continues or not. They make stupid decisions then they cry later and affect children
@@williammashapu3739 What is done cannot be undone. It is a very complex matter. 1. Men need to be taught the man's role in life. The outcomes of their actions. (When it comes to intercourse be smart, the best practice is to first establish oneself and raise the bar very high when choosing a life partner. 2. Playing around with your big D. Is costly. 1hour of pleasure turned into +18 years of maintenance. 3. The majority of men don't fulfill their responsibility and hence the courts having to compensate thus favour the mother. 4. All the pain and suffering caused by men re their children makes it difficult for men re the legal route. 5. Let's unite and teach our sons the way to go. The spin-offs will follow. 6. Unfortunately if the mother is hurt it can easily turn I to hate. Man if that's the case, there is very little you can do. Difficult but yes To de-escalate if possible as much as possible, the child will eventually mature and then you have to be the safety net and salvage what can be.
From listening to your takebon the Nota rape case to this. What a complete shift. One complex being you are. That commentary was so sensible and so accurate, as for this chat haikhona.
''For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church'' 1 timothy 3:5 ''Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.'' 1 Timothy 5:8
The lot of you here commenting and throwing insults, busy showing us that none of you actually listened to his story. You need to work on your listening skills and judging from an informed point of view and not just at face value. It's one thing to call him out for irresponsibly having multiple children with different women, deservedly so. However, it's another thing to insult him as if he said he'll now be a deadbeat cause he doesn't care or never cared. If you listened to his story. Penuel has stated that he has fought for those kids from their early days and has now reached a point where he is drained & will stop fighting. NOT because he doesn't care. He will no longer fight for the sake of peace. As you've all probably heard the saying. When two bulls fight in the kraal. The grass suffers. Meaning when the parents fight. The kids suffer. So as much as those kids deserve to be fought for, and to be well supported by him. It equally isn't right nor is it healthy for them to be subjected to their parent's quarrels and have to watch their parents fight over them for the rest of their lives, having to choose which parent to side with. YES, Penuel has his faults and should never be excused or spared from being called out for them. However, giving him our understanding won't cost us anything. Understanding is NOT the same as condoning it. It's a matter of understanding the WHY of it. Not justifying it. From his story. I see a father who has given up fighting for his kids for the sake of not only his peace but also not to drag those kids into him and their mothers' wars. As irresponsible as he was for impregnating multiple women. He doesn't deserve to have his kids weaponized against him. AGAIN, I DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS AND I WISH IT HADN'T COME TO THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE KIDS. HOWEVER, I UNDERSTANDING WHY HE CAME TO THIS DECISION. That's it.
I see beyond what is happening in your life man. And I appreciate the fact that you allowed yourself to be sincere about it. I've consumed myself with fear of having kids outside the societal titles. But I see that you're not talking about what life should be, and you're living it, struggles and all. Be at ease man, and acknowledge that it's not about just having kids, rather, it's the revival of your lineage. Every child you've brought on Earth, they came back with your ancestry bloodline. Careless or not, bringing life on Earth superseded all the nonsensical society standards. Do Not be Ashamed. What you are doing Matters.
I never comment on YT, but i feel compelled. Your story makes me feel even stronger than ever that we need to make counselling with the aim to coparent successfully a priority in todays day. Reason being: -We have broken fathers -We have broken and bitter mothers -We have entitled parents on either side -We have parents who lack accountability and self introspection This is only a tip of the iceberg. The result of this social disease is children who suffer because their parents(mostly mothers) bleed onto their children. Pen when you enter and exit relationships that have children you may have left bruised/wounded women behind who in turn bleed on everything around them because they feel wronged somehow. To you it may be something small but it may be something big to them making them want to make you suffer the same way they percieve you hurt them. Anger blinds people, it blinds a mother who professes to love her child to the fact that she is depriving her child from their birthright of having both parents and also robs them of their sense of belonging. I commend you for speaking up about this great injustice that affects mostly tomorrow's adults. I have a lot of empathy for your situation and i wish you the best with your journey. Remember when 2 bulls fight, the grass suffers. These innocent kids are the grass. I pray that both of these mothers(not B*tches Pen) can look into their childrens eyes one day and ask for forgiveness for depriving them of having both parents and families in their lives.
Pen with all fairness, people attacked you online after making a video about how messed up children of single mothers were. In your own words you even said, "People should not marry ladies from single-parent homes", most people felt how dare you when you left 5 women as single moms. I am really sorry that you had to deal with so much mentally and emotionally, but that's called growing pains and I hope you have great support systems to lean on. Uzoba strongo mfethu.
Why is he the one who always left , baby mothers sometimes leave baby fathers , cheat on them or become toxic to stay but nothing surprising as accountability is rare as water in desert in certain species 😂😂😂😂😂
What I love about you, is your EXTREME ACCOUNTABILITY.. You speak the truth and I can see you a man of honor and Integrity. Thank you for sharing this with us. All the best and I hope you have time with all your kids sooner than later.
I think the women withholding the kids, hoped to change your mind on marriage. Deep down they desired a monogamous relationship with you. I respect how you own your life choices.
@@marjoriseomar7370 If that was their hope, it was a really dumb strategy. If you want to win a man over, shower him with love and give him full access to his kids. Anyways... thank you for your comment and thoughts 🙏🏽
I hope your children understand why you took the decision you took and all the best to you and the children. I watched the whole video and it took me back to what I went through with my parents... I understand why my dad did what he did and I hate women who use their children to fight their battles but in my parents case I understand both sides as it is a case of you can't teach an old dog new tricks. They have both put one another through a lot and that pain has become a part of their lives and they are not open to have that conversation, they are both right and are incapable of taking responsibility for their contribution towards this whole mess... It has left us divided as children 💔
As soon as we separated with the father of my child he didn't support her at that time my child was 9yrs,she's 19 yrs old fist year in University but she still goes n visit her father n his family i don't have a problem, fighting our battles with our baby Daddys it not worth it. The worse thing is when school is close kids goes their fathers home n yours always at our home it affects our kids
A call???…. My sister have some standards please. My dad was a deadbeat if I heard that mom was desperate for me to be on the call with him I would be embarrassed 🤦🏾♀️
Ntwana irrespective of the amount of kids you have. You deserve access. Even at 15 kids bro. I feel your pain ntwana. Access can’t be a privilege it’s a flipin right.
I’m 4min in and my brain can’t comprehend this man’s logic… I can’t imagine these kids watching this video. But to each their own I can’t finish watching, thought I’d understand his side of the story but it’s too heartbreaking to continue listening to it
Pen is supposed to date only women with the same beliefs as him like Nkunzis mom but what does he do? date women that have different expectations then come online to cry foul.
You could feel the emotion in Penuel's voice, this is sad. I'm a product of such a situation and I'm only now intentionally building relationship with one of my half siblings because of the same situation All the best and thank you very much for shedding light on this issue.
This is a cry for help more than anything...hope you get someone who can help you connect with your children...I can't judge you brother it's tough out there..at least you can talk about it...
Pen. I do not even know what to say. I am a woman and I do not have kids. But one thing I always said to myself is this: If I do have kids I will never allow them to be used to control or manipulate me. I can see myself doing what you’re doing: walking away from the drama and the pain it is causing you. Stay strong and always keep the door open for your children as you are doing. You are not a bank or a trust fund. Don’t let anyone treat you that way. Stay strong.
Whatever you do don't stop supporting the kids financially, you're not doing the mom's a favor but just making it easier for them to be well taken care of. Everything else can be solved as time goes by 😶
@@blaqbee03no matter how unfavorable the situation is, always put the kids first they never asked to be part of the unfair situation, that's my take, each to his own
I could hear the pain in your voice when talking about Zulu. You always maintain composure with your videos no matter how hard it can be. Much respect for your strength. I personally support you going public with this. No only would this educate some but also beneficial for your kids. There WILL be evidence when the kids ask their mothers about their father. They will have 1st hand , questions answered straight from your mouth
I feel so blessed as a woman to have listen this video because it has built me to be a better mom and stepmom. And um more equipped in various way since i listen to your chanel. Now um gonna make my partner listen more of this so we could atleast make better environment for all our children. Kea leboha haholo
Yoh! You really hurt her kodwa ke. Unfortunately your son will suffer. He is very young and I do believe that boy children need male mentors if not their dads.
Honestly Penuel, I’m sorry you going through this. Zulu’s mom usile nje and the other one is just bad shit crazy and that’s on you. Zulu is old enough to have a phone and I just pray that he can get to you on social media and you can get to see each other in secret somehow. I have a friend who’s dad would go to school and he would see her in secret, he’d bring us food on Friday’s sometimes he’d pick her up and they would go to the movies. They did this for years since grade 6. I wish you all the best ❤
I have nothing but respect for you chief; the weight you are carrying can only be carried by a god! The world is full of folks that are so imperfect themselves but will jump at the first opportunity to point out the speck in another's eye! There is so much good in you.
Nxese Mntanam ❤ I can really feel your pain. You're a Loving Dad and may the LORD STRENGTHEN you in ALL your Endeavors of uniting with your children. Remain BLESSED.
Many of us might not be comfortable with your family planning choices my brother but I 100% agree that our court system is on the side of women at the detriment of children's well-being. Cut the financial cord and SHE will locate you.All the best .
What about the kids, they are still too young to understand that they were collateral damage between 2 adults who chose to have unprotected sex, procreate and when things went south the children are left high and dry. By the way, with so many baby momma's whose moral values and ethical codes are they being taught to be responsible parents and responsible members of the community? Are you willing to relinquish this responsibility of parenthood including discipline to the step parent(or many if the woman carries on looking for a suitable partner for herself? How will you feel if he decides not to play the parental role to your offspring? Are you prepared for the dynamics of the baby momma's having other kids with other partners who are not willing to accept or have different belief systems to yours) but custody is still with their mom's legally? Let's put money aside and the visits, time and resources wasted on pause. Child rearing is a 24hr, 365 days a year full time job which include teaching, homework, morale code. Right now you are angry, hurt, drained and feel let down by the courts and possibly family. Not the right time to make such a momentous decisioñ with such far reaching effects. Wait, breathe and sort yourself emotionally to the point where the anger is not the leading decision maker. 😢🎉
Imagine how much each child is getting in terms of mantainance....as the money has to be split in 7....it means the mothers are carrying the bulk of the financial burden, I understand how some if these women are dealing with absolute rage......This situation is extremely messy.....
@@Siyambonga_Mbasane Can you think of any other reason why the mothers would be behaving the way they are? That behaviour is not falling from the sky, it's a symptom of deeper underlying issues....
Not providing for your child is not reason enough for you to be refused access. Even if you were broke, as long as you avail yourself for your child you can't be denied access. That’s why maintenance courts are separate from family courts. I suggest that you continue paying child support if you can and pick up the access fight another time when you are up for it.
I wish the father of my oldest 2 kids would care enough to want to see his children let alone pay maintenance. I don't know what the mental and emotional state of the mothers of your children are, but from my standpoint- I wish more fathers had the same desire to be present in their children's lives as you do Pen! Hang in there, bhuti wam. Kuzolunga. Andazi kanjani or nini but kuzolunga. Libuhlungu ibali lakho.
Your strength and resilience are truly inspiring, and it's evident that your love for your children knows no bounds. Keep your head up and continue to fight for what is right, because your efforts will not go unnoticed. Remember, you are a pillar of strength not only for your children but for everyone who witnesses your journey. Stay strong, keep the faith, and know that there are many who support and believe in you. Your story is a testament to the power of perseverance and the depth of a father's love. May you find peace and joy in the little moments and may your heart be filled with hope for a brighter tomorrow. Yhoooo this video made me cry yaz and I will never understand women at all. A father who wanna be present, he is denied rights to be a father…that’s just being selfish qha. Uxolo bhuti but abantwana bayakhula yaye they will make their own choices and decisions. Much love and respect to you and your truth❤ and I am proud of you bhuti🤞. 😢😢😢
I feel your pain @godpenuel. This couldn’t have been an easy decision for you to make. Sending you love and peace brother. I hope you heal from this. 🙏🏾
I feel ur pain through this though time may u find peace for this decision u have taken. I'm so proud of you my brother 🙏 this is so sad. I wish you all the best I'm really hurt by this post😢
Reading the title I had doubts, but listening to the video. Tough but I have to agree... Hopefully the domino effect works out in your favour and this is a plausible example to be used in courts as a blueprint so that a years long battle is resolved in months or days. This channel should be used to address and fix society. Shout out Pen
You made the right decision, Zulu will come back when he wants the truth. Don't stress yourself and deprive yourself from your available kids chasing after absent ones
Now Zulu, Shaka and Nkanyezi must the be ones rectifying the the consequences of their parents choices, that's sad. These kids were planned even though red flags were there.
I hear what Penuel is saying neh.. I see the passion I hear him kodwa man there is a level of toxicity I’m getting from this narration and I cant explain it. (Note I say I’m getting, he probably isn’t giving it ) but ku toxic man! Also the reference to what he does on video with his kids and social media posts ai Cut!🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️
This is so sad man 😢 but don't let her change who you are. Never stop fighting for your boy because he can feel every effort you do deep in his heart. You not a dead beat father so don't let someone else's action or challenges change who you are. I believe in you Sir, salute 🫡
I clicked on this because I thought your title was tongue in cheek. Alas, you are serious. This is really abysmal behaviour. Please think twice about conducting your battles with your children's mothers on social media and using your children as pawns. You have been blessed with such beautiful, sweet looking children. Be grateful and do better for their sakes.
This is truly saddening, have been following you since 2021 and judging from your side it seems that baby boy is a weapon according to his mom.. I wish she could just put her ego aside and do this for the kid😢
No one deserves being kept away from thre very own children. Especially if they want to be involved, it's just not right. I hope the moms really deal with what ever hurt they are going through. So they can get into the point of putting their children 1st.
No judgement but u are a self proclaimed narcisstist so I am wondering HOW MUCH OF YOUR ACTIONS contributes to her not trusting u or ur family with the child.. Unless she's a narc too.., But at the end of the day, I wish all of us healing and maturity for the sake of our children.
It amazes me how men expect a standing ovation for parenting at their convenience... Seemingly you are atleast consistant in reaching out and supporting your children Sir.
I'm the 8th child out of 15 of my father's children, from 8 different women. I am now in my 40s and have a good relationship with all my siblings. I would not have it any other way because my dad took care of all of us, we all have careers and families, when we meet it's a blast. Our kids get along as cousins and are growing up together. Pen just make sure you never let your kids grow apart, you are the common denominator in their lives and make sure you play your role as an anchor and live long enough to witness the legacy you have built.
My prayers for you Penuel, be strong be patient the time will come when the kids will no more need anyone in between but call you directly, and most of kids that are refused acees to their fathers later they drop the mothers family all together and move to their fathers unfortunately.
You are not innocent here chief, you did not create a conducive environment for your children to grow in. We keep lying to ourselves as men thinking just having kids at will is the African way. No long term commitment to the women who are integral in making all this work.
@@CHEEZIENATOR Not at all my brother, however Penuel and a few South African man have encouraged a very toxic culture in South Africa of baby making without building families. Which means you find a woman that meets a criteria to be a wife, mother and a co-pilot in building a legacy for atleast your children but hopefully something that extents beyond your own bloodline. Instead they are perpetuating a baby making culture because thats what supposedly is African. Ignoring the damage that these single parent house holds are causing to the black community. I live in KZN and I work with students. No matter how strong resourced a woman can be they will never replace the presence of a man in a household seeing him everyday and how he navigates different things about life. Listen to the Head of Police in KZN and he will tell you we have a black man problem in the province, largely caused by these long distance parents who make babies they do not raise. At some point we need to look at ourselves as man, the role to lead the family is largely on us not on the woman, whether you like it or not. Societies that have man in the home are much more stable regardless of how impoverish they are.
Bro the woman are also bad here. But hey I get it, certain guys raised by single mothers, or come from broken homes, or had abusive and absent fathers, think that anything a woman does or say is right; in fact they prioritize female validation more than anything else.
We are in the same situation, baby mamas are an issue. I’ve been in court for the last 3 years fighting to see my daughter. Stay strong my guy, good fathers don’t quit
Harde Ta Pen❤️ Invest all those contributions you would have sent in an aggressive fund. Maybe when the Lad is older and more autonomous, he will reach out and you will be able to show him that you’ve always been there.
@@Penuelism Don't count on it bro cause the amount of manipulation & poison dripping she would have fed him by then will make him blind to see what's really went on cause he's already form a negative perception of you that the resentment he has towards u makes him blind . Only him expriencing the same shit with a baby mama or wife he will understand and so the cycle continues .
A lack of access to your children doesn't change the DNA of your children unfortunately Broer, they still have to eat, they still have to have clothing, they also need to feel the pride of knowing that the father contributes to their upbringing in a way. That doesn't change because you do not have access to them. How will you feel seeing your child going to a poor quality school due to your withdrawal of funds? Also, you're giving her more ammunition to further drive a wedge between you and your son. I'm in a similar situation by the way so I'm talking from experience.
I agree. Withdrawal of finances from the child will be a grave mistake. He must take the L but not withdraw from the child financially. He should continue funding the child's development, keep receipts, and present the receipts to the child when they are old enough to seek answers without being blocked by the mother.
My interpretation of your scenario is that the mother is so petty and does not love their child so much that they’d rather have their child grow up poor than get maintenance money and give the father access. Like how twisted can a woman be to put their child through that. Nahhh
@@MissXsmiles That is so correct. But unfortunately, as a man you have to subdue your feelings for the greater good in such situations. She may be wrong but she's the one that they'll see hustle to put food on the table, she's the one who'll be seen to be doing all to make her kids look like other kids and that will make the kids love her more while they hate the father who is living large elsewhere. In the next 7 years, I can guarantee you that those kids will come looking for him and when they want to establish the facts it'll be good for them to hear that he continued supporting them but couldn't go against the law to gain access. The consequences of what she's doing may be irreversible and will only affect the children. If that happens, I can guarantee you that she will not hesitate to call and ask him to 'talk to his children' or even send them to live with him because now they're not well behaved. So he must just push through and pray that she gets a divine revelation to change her ways.
@@TiisetsoMoleko-s4r I don’t know Tiisetso, I am a product of a blended family with a bitter father that stopped paying maintenance because my mother remarried and changed my surname when I was a toddler. We lived a normal life in the bundus, not even middle class, and I won’t lie to you, the only thing I could not understand after meeting my father at the age of 23 is why he never wanted to meet me coz he had access. I did not care about the money, maybe because I had so much love at home and had everything I needed i.e. food, a home and education. I’m a forgiving person in general and did not hold a grudge even before meeting him but till today, I wonder why he chose to distance himself when the beef is not with me. I feel that says a lot about his character too. So in this instance, I say, Pen should withhold the funds because it’s better to have a present father than live in luxury. If the mother chooses to deprive her kids of a better life because of pride then she will answer to that, but I don’t believe in feeding and satisfying her pettiness by sending money because of “guilt-tripping”. I’m just gatvol of women who use their kids as bargaining chips, it’s distasteful.
@@MissXsmiles "it’s better to have a present father than live in luxury", I agree with that 100%. I've seen people live in poverty but the kids light up when they see their 'poor' father approach. I guess situations are different, he's made his decision. We can only pray that it doesn't go south for the kids. What's a man to do in this situation though? Sue SAPS? Sue the lady? So much hurdles to see your children.
This is so sad because this will impact your son adversely At 10yrs a child can say he definitely wants to see you this will have a very bad impact on your son later on in life Your son will find one day and I hope it will fix your relationship . I pray that you will reconcile with your son Thank you for sharing Black Pen
I feel your pain man. My own biological sister is depriving his baby daddy access to his child, and the reason we (her family) know, is that it's because the guy moved on. To make matters worse, she feeds the child (my nephew) all sorts of lies about his father. We have tried to mediate with no success. Now my sister just got married, and she is trying to change the surname of the child to her husband's surname. There is more I can say, but I'm mentioning just a little to say I get you my guy. Some women use innocent children as weapons to fight and inflict inward pain to their baby daddies.
@@sisekelodlamini3488 This is tragic to read, but even sadder is that this story is common. Please tell the kids the truth, and if you have the ability, please find the father and get his side of the story.
There is nothing vile about rebuking evil and all it's actions...we can no longer coddle and excuse degeneracy in our communities and cultures. In the year 2070, some of us will be grandfather's to people we've never met and that will be the norm🙆🏿♂️ a nation of bastards and we won't know how/when it became a norm. Noone is asking for perfection... Our grandfather's and ancestors weren't perfect, but these things never happen/weren't the norm... Today we console each other by saying at least you are trying/you tried. Women blame men, and we blame women and the government as penuel states... Even he admits, that he tried to not be like his father but alas, we repeat the cycles we so desperately try to escape if we are not intentional as a community to shun these things... Today it's more popular for single households than it was in our parents generation, because there is no longer a stigma associated to having/coming from a broken family
Don't retract your statement @sbusisomhlanga6363. Most of these comments are vile. No one on this thread is qualified to rebuke or criticise. Pen made choices and is admitting his mistakes... so what qualifies us to condemn?
Let this be a lesson Vet these women before you bring them home let the elders know them before spreading the seed This man fucked around and now he found out, now he is cutting ties to 3 kids because he failed to vet 2 women Vet a woman gents get a PI , run a background check before sleeping with them I empathise with you tau stay strong
Do your best to be a dad at your capacity. Most of these comments aren’t constructive and are based on the nature of the partner that you may have been. However I think for the most part I believe you’re raising sentiments of having to try be the best father! Love and light to you and yours! Especially your children.❤️
O tla ba sharpo auth'aka ❤ Your children will always love you... I don't fully agree with the decision you're taking to no longer participate financially in the lives of the children you're being denied access to... but I understood Continue paying my authi... keep all the proof like you have advised all of us. The kids Will appreciate this one day... As for their mothers... all we can do is to wish them healing... that's all**
Another way to provide for a kid whom you do not have acces to, it to pay school fees directly into school account. Also to provide school uniforms and food shopping vouchers.
Me watching as a 31 year old woman without children: 😮
Kunini ngithi yoh😮😮
I am now grateful that my biggest problems right now are debt, an old car and overcoming procrastination at work
I share your sentiments. But for me as a man at 31, i have come to the decision that i wont have kids until i am in a good space mentally and emotionally. Regardless of if my relationship works or does not with the mother of my children in the future, i believe i should be in a space that we can make decisions that work for the child and not for ourselves.
Same here ..I'm my biggest challenge 😅 so I need a lot of attention and growth. I don't mind having a family in future but I would rather be at a stable life where I can take care of me and my children with generational wealth n a bit of political power and influence 😊..
@@MasiX193 This is very important. Keep it that way. 🙏
I'm 36 and I'm with you
Yhuu Sana if you still have a choice good for you we have another breed of men that is primarily promiscuous and unaccountable for their actions...worst of all they not even family orientated.... making babies for them is an ego boost... its sick I tell you
As an attorney and with much sympathy for the situation, it remains absolutely damaging for the kids to have such private matters on social media. There’s no context in which this being on social media will positively benefit your kids.
Save on future therapy fees for the kids and keep these matters private - especially their names. I fully agree that our legal system has holes, but your reaction is within your control.
Speaking only for the best interests of the child and wishing you all the best.
How do we fix these loop holes for the best interest of the child not the Mother?
@@21stKingIn my honest opinion, the loopholes are in the process of being worked on but I wouldn’t rely on that for the moment.
In the meantime, a plan of action is required. I’ve worked on behalf of both fathers and mothers when it comes to matters of parental alienation and loss of contact - the underlying issue is generally that one party has been hurt in some way by the other party, and they use the child as a tool to punish the other party. Addressing the underlying issue works almost all of the time. In addressing the underlying hurt, it also has to be stressed that for co-parenting to work, the love for the child must be greater than the hatred/disdain for the other parent.
The legality of fighting for your child has a huge psychological component to it for you to get what you want - which is access to your child. A video like this which airs out private matters of aunts and grandmothers etc can only serve to strengthen that family’s resolve in not cooperating, and cooperation is the key to getting what you want.
With the current loopholes in the legal system, you have to learn to play the game with what you have at your disposal to get what you’re looking for. You need to act in such a way that you lower the other side’s perceived need to fight and defend themselves. This is a video I would caution a client against, simply because it makes it harder to have the other party cooperate, not because the contents of the video are untrue. You can choose to be right and put it on social media, or you can choose to play ball and get what you want. Not to say that Pen hasn’t been hurt too, but what he wants is in the hands of the other side.
It’s a game of psychology to get what you’re legally entitled to. The courts can only do so much, the real win is when you have good faith cooperation from the other side.
Sorry for the long response 😂
Such a compassionate heart from a lawyer. God bless you❤❤
My first thought was. 'why name the children and even roughly where they are based'. One day the kids will watch these videos and its a lot of TMI. Plus naming all the messiness is for a therapists office not the whole world Ntwana.
@@supermom354 Truly much appreciated ❤
I am still stuck on the fact that there is a lady that gave Penuel a baby last year 😮. 7th child!!!! 5th baby mama? Not 5th wife, 5th baby mama 😭😭😭
And in future there'll be other girls jumping in🥲
Nick canon.
He makes beautiful babies tho lol. 😂
Shooketh to the core too😵💫
Women are actually so dumb, like there's really an airhead that gave this one a 7th child😂
😂naye he should take some contraceptives cause aowa he is too much
Being open-minded and respecting others' beliefs are fundamental values that I believe society should uphold. After listening to you speak on this topic for some time now and reflecting on the challenges of raising kinds, I’ve come to appreciate why monogamy-and by extension, marriage-might have evolved for practical reasons. It seems that, for the stability of society, a nuclear family structure may be the most conducive for raising children. Given the stakes, there is a risk that an open and unrestricted lifestyle, even for responsible individuals, may lead to unforeseen challenges. Nonetheless, I sincerely wish you and your family the best as you navigate this situation and find a solution that works for your children and you as parents.
I 100% agree with you, as a non-monogamous man. I have kids with one woman I am no longer with, and I want to have more. I've tried to dissect how to have more children while living the lifestyle I do, and honestly, it is much more difficult. Monogamy would automatically resolve half the issues Pen is talking about here, but at the same time, it would come at the expense of his happiness and way of life. At the end of the day, we have kids, and one day they will grow up to be adults and live their own lives. You’ll be left to live the rest of your days based on the lifestyle choices you made. Are you going to be miserable because you were never truly yourself, and you did it just for the sake of family and keeping the peace? For me, what's more important is inner peace. So, until I find a way to effectively parent as a non-monogamous man, I'll wait it out.
It is so sad honestly. Son's grow up with so much anger because they are wounded children. Unfortunately, son's may end up being resentful and act as such. Women do lose it when the romantic picture they imagined is broken. They too need mental health intervention. Maybe her family also did not realise the damage because clearly she is deeply broken. Socio-psycho disorders are a real thing. We come across such individuals at many corners of life. They are not well at all!
Love this.
Honestly gents if you want to avoid such situations. Have your children with one woman,and marry her so that umama waba ntwana bakho ebenesi dima
Tell that to divorced men
@@DJPapzin first question mhlekazi,why are you divorced? Why are we normalizing instability
You don't understand relationships boy
@@khanyisafikilexayiya1369 70% of divorces are initiated by women.
@godpenuel
I understand that but we also can't avoid the fact that we are failing society as amadoda. Are we now going to have another generation of broken men?
My Heart Goes Out To You My Brother... Please Don't Give Up on Your Kids Who Are Innocent In All Of This... Don't Stop Supporting The Kids because of their Mothers... Stay Strong Until They Are 18 Years Old... Don't You Dare Give Up On Those Kids... You Don't Need Their Mother's Permission To Be Their Father... Mina I would steal my occasional moments with my kids... I would rather the police arrest me at his football matches watching... I have my own way of knowing when and where he's playing... And the least I'm worried about is him going home and telling his mother I was there at the games or at the school concert... I am there regardless... PLEASE DON'T PUNISH YOUR KIDS
@@raymondpienaar5177 Thank you. It's all about kids at the end of the day.
Wow keep it that way bro❤
You keep posturing as this intellect but you lack practical wisdom
Remember when you said you have great genes so you need to have kids for the sake of humanity 🤭😂
Anyway, nxese oe
😂😂😂
He must have thought that he was Elon Musk this one. Elon does it for intellect multiplication he says.
@luu4448 the man shares his struggles, instead of sharing what you think is "practical wisdom" you decide to criticize him which adds ZERO value.
@@humphrey4071"struggles" that he brought upon himself... Don't forget that part. Sex is a choice, let alone unprotected sex and it has consequences. His reason for having kids in the first place with multiple women outside of wedlock was dumb, manje ufuna sithi "oh shame"?
Brother Don't run away from the responsibilities you chose to create for yourself.
He was bragging about procreation🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮🚮
@Lee_Nolo Guys Penwell doesn't seem to understand his role in creating this toxic dillema. He is literary the definition of "Welcome to the consequences of your actions."
I must admit, standing from the outside looking in, its hard not to pass judgement on to you. But that's not the point, i am more worried about the kids my brother. I don't think we truly recognize the trauma that is passed on to kids by the decisions of the parents. I would like to believe in time your kids image of who you are, will be heavily influenced by what the mothers feel about you. I am kind of emotional about the issue because my dad did not want to be part of my life for whatever reason, my mom never went out of her way to get me to know him and he didn't try anyway. I grew up thinking both my parents did not love me because my mom felt she was overwhelmed by having me. I went about life trying to prove i was deserving of their love, to get validation from them, i failed dismally, I had a relationship with a woman that i loved, it failed because of my failed relationship with my parents. At 31 i am trying to pick my life because everything went downhill for me. But i say this, do your best to ensure that atleast you try keep communication open with all your kids. Nothing more sad then asking yourself as kid, why dad is not around and being told he is a deadbeat, its no joke it tears you up slowly
Thank you for this text and mostly thank you for the effort you put to understand each and every aspect of your life so you understand the effects on your life.
With that IQ... May your EQ support it and maybe you come out successful, prosperous and Happy.
❤
How did your own relationship end because of the disconnect you have with your parents, can you elaborate on this please, I often hear people say it can have an effect to this day I fail to understand@@mananammalegae
The mother of my 22 months old daughter by the name of Ms Kekeletso Nakeli (a columnist at The Citizen Newspaper) has also not only kept me away from my child since May 2024, but also alienated me from the child.
Mind you, I supported the child since birth until May this year after I lost my job in January. I was barred from seeing the child even on Father's day (despite asking two weeks in advance to see the child for that day) and subsequent visitations. Likewise when I asked that the child spend December 2025 holidays with me I was denied.
Before anyone asks “Why don't take her to court?” Simple, with what means and resources when I have zero? And also, why should a loving father “fight” for a right to their child in the first place? Especially considering the mother was unemployed for the majority of 2023 and I supported her too. Also, the same woman who had an extra marital affair with a married man from 2020 to 2021 and continued to be in communication with the man during the pregnancy of our daughter, which ultimately led to the breakdown of my relationship with her.
@Chomza15 your last paragraph tells me everything I need to know you had it seems like you had signs to leave prior but you stayed and made a baby with her and potentially putting your offspring in danger and for what???....we need to choose better parents for our offsprings I blame you as well as I also blame her you should have chosen that better that woman was bad news
I am sorry for the kids that they are in the midst of parents and families that do not put them 1st. I pray for your healing, the healing of the mothers and grandmothers and i just ask that they put their differences aside for the sake of the beautiful babies they are raising...shoooo its a terrible world out there!
@paballobutelezi5532 Thank you Paballo 🙏🏽
Why don't you open an account or a trust fund for your children and deposit money send them documents but silently contribute one day at University level they will have access without their mothers your kids will see your contribution than your words action speaks louder than words.....🙏🙏🙏
Is this legally acceptable? To open a trust fund and send maintaince there without directly sending money to the mom?
@@miyamotloung8724sending maintenance money is necessary but not a legal requirement in South Africa.
Money will never be enough. Your presence will be needed by the Kids!
He is a deadbeat... thats why he wont
But there's something you not saying. It seems these women have suffered a lot during your relationship. Have you been upfront about your principles that you only going to impregnate them and not marry them? That they will only be your baby making machines so u could realize ur vision? If you lied and did not disclose your plans, as much it's not fair, accept that they are bound to retaliate by denying you that which you valued the most. One could actually say, you used these women, and now you using words like, provide, money, my kids, law, courts, banks etc. Have you asked yourself how ruined their dream are after bearing these children and all of a sudden have to go look for another man? Men these days are reluctant to marry women with kids, have you thought of that? I'm not promoting their actions, but be matured enough to know that the reason you are here, it's because of choices you made.
He has said time and time again that he was not perfect in those relationships and that he has hurt some of the mothers in whatever way. What’s your point though, that he must accept not seeing his kids?
@@lovelyladylee275so we must just gloss over that huh? Since he already said time & time again, as you say, that he wasn't perfect. Since you know him better, did he tell these ladies that he's a polygamist, before he impregnated them? That's the main question that op asked.
The kids should never be deprived of a relationship with their parent based off a broken relationship between their parents. It is crucial to the child to deprive them of such a crucial part of their lives
@@zoephilile2274 True but you have to understand that this is situational, people are reactionary, if you play them dirty and lie to ruin their future under false pretense, they will also react by using the little power that they have. This means, penuel must tread carefully and warm towards the said lady. Overtime she will heal and the pain of being made a fool will subside.
the biggest red flag -Penuel. Ladies be careful.
And man must be careful of those mothers
From listening to his story.
Pretty sure that him AND the mothers came together with it only being a matter of time before everything goes south, cause all of them came together, individually being broken people.
Now the kids are suffering.
@@JaydenAndrewsTech Well said & I'm glad you spoke sense since you have my Liege as your pp 😂
May this type of man never locate me. God rather keep me single.
😂😂😂don't share your location & you'll be fine
u 7 kids with 5 baby mamas its not a good profile worst part he sees nothing wrong with creating broken homes his still gonna have another 4.
And what about the womans part in creating broken homes? As far as i know they were willing participatns as well. It takes two to tango. Cant blame one person@zeesays726
@@Bestme78 I strictly believe in marriage and kids after anything else I'm against. Sex before marriage has never resulted in blessings I've never seen it in my lifetime.
@@zeesays726 100% . Both are to blame
As a 22 year old young man who was on Drugs 9 years mostly because my Father wasn't there to beat me up because He and My Mother went at each other like cats and dogs. He fell out with my mom and for the majority of my teenage years while I was high I kept hearing "Your just like your father , I hate you both" , One day She kicked me out after an argument , I arrived at my father's house 1st thing he did was beat me up. Long story short I've been clean and strong as an ox ever since and all I needed was my father's love. But I hated him for the majority of my life only to find out that that He's just a Xhosa man who likes discipline very far from perfect but Who is Perfect ? ❤ THE HILLS HAVE EYES PENUEL , WHO ARE WOMEN TO JUDGE ?
@Thato2448 Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy that you're clean, strong and sober.
Please put in more work to become a better man & to avoid the same decisions your father made.
It's not easy but you have to try.
@@Penuelism Thank you. I'll give it my all. Keep the Godlike conversations coming , your really making a difference for alot of young men in South Africa who don't have a voice or a vision. 🤝
@@Thato2448 I'll keep raising my voice. Too many of us are suffering in silence and dying inside.
Well done Thato..keep walking and don't look back and u got to love yo sober self.. u are an inspiration ❤
I'm glad you are going strong n keep the faith Thato. I hope you continue to be a light for other young and old men who seek a Farthers love but keep the faith to be better for themselves😊
We will wait to hear from the other women's sides.
Out of all the replies on this thread this is the most constructive.💯💯💯
This storyline is crazy as Penuel has shared his father had many kids with many ladies. Also he was raised by a single mother. But whats crazy as hes growing up he started to attract girls that come from households where they had issues with their father. What im learning from this as a young 23 yr old gent is ( Show me your friends ill show you your future. Show me your partners parents ill show your future relationship.
Automic Habits
@@justkiingza3928 ay dawg😂Sbali ie English heyase boardroom agiku tholi mara fede
You attract people on the same level of your soul wounds..and you become more like those you spend most time with. Environment is the greatest influencer of behaviour.
I think this is what he is saying ,simply put
@@Sbabalwe1234 it's crazy right???....I pray his kids break this cycle as him and the mother of his kids failed to
Wise words young man
The kids that you're cutting off, Instead of sending money as support, save that money. That way when the kids grow and can make their own decisions and visit you, you'd be like here is the money I have been saving for you for all the years we've never been together.
great idea!!! this is constructive advice instead of just bashing
Don't give the mom money, pay school fees directly to the school, open bank accounts so you can EFT what is needed. Give them phones so you can keep the lines of communication open. Yah, you messed up - numerous kids with numerous women , because it's obvious you love them and want to be part of their lives (money aside) but it can still be fixed.
Bosisi, you were old enough to keep it closed and not procreate so much. So you are partly to blame.
Even your face also lights up when you speak about your Kids Bhut Penuel, it's clear great memories have been created and how you describe each child testifies to how present you have been and that you have taken the time to get to know each child! Thats impressive! 😊
Maybe you are not as wise as you think you are…. These challenges could have been avoided.
Hope things work out for you…
Nawe, so many kids with different mothers, ngapha one was pregnant then you get another pregnant. Nawe uyabeda
No, women have monolopy on the birth of children. If they're stupid enough to agree to this mess, we cant blame Pen, he didn't deceive them. They hoped to change his mind on monogamy and realized that men want what they want.
Women are the only ones who get to decide on whether the human race continues or not. They make stupid decisions then they cry later and affect children
uthi 7 kids....thats insane.
Kakhulu shem
Haiyini hle myekeni buti sanu judger nina mani yinduku yake moss Liefe happens
@oyandakona5994 life didn't happen to Pen, He thought he coukd rewrite the rules. I love Pen.
Why don’t you stop having kids Penuel?
Honestly!
The more you tell him the more his committed to add 5 more
Sorry my brother this rage is all on you. Your message should be guidance for the young men. The concequences of your decisions you make in life.
What's the solution according to you?
@@williammashapu3739the solution is obviously for him to be a parent and be present in all his children's lives. No excuses.
@@williammashapu3739Lol he will tell you about marriage as If divorced men don't face the same issue
@@williammashapu3739 What is done cannot be undone. It is a very complex matter. 1. Men need to be taught the man's role in life. The outcomes of their actions. (When it comes to intercourse be smart, the best practice is to first establish oneself and raise the bar very high when choosing a life partner.
2. Playing around with your big D. Is costly. 1hour of pleasure turned into +18 years of maintenance.
3. The majority of men don't fulfill their responsibility and hence the courts having to compensate thus favour the mother.
4. All the pain and suffering caused by men re their children makes it difficult for men re the legal route.
5. Let's unite and teach our sons the way to go. The spin-offs will follow.
6. Unfortunately if the mother is hurt it can easily turn I to hate. Man if that's the case, there is very little you can do.
Difficult but yes To de-escalate if possible as much as possible, the child will eventually mature and then you have to be the safety net and salvage what can be.
I agree
From listening to your takebon the Nota rape case to this. What a complete shift. One complex being you are. That commentary was so sensible and so accurate, as for this chat haikhona.
Right!
night and day. we are complex beings. another reminder not to pedestal mere mortals.
''For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church'' 1 timothy 3:5
''Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.'' 1 Timothy 5:8
The lot of you here commenting and throwing insults, busy showing us that none of you actually listened to his story. You need to work on your listening skills and judging from an informed point of view and not just at face value.
It's one thing to call him out for irresponsibly having multiple children with different women, deservedly so. However, it's another thing to insult him as if he said he'll now be a deadbeat cause he doesn't care or never cared.
If you listened to his story. Penuel has stated that he has fought for those kids from their early days and has now reached a point where he is drained & will stop fighting. NOT because he doesn't care. He will no longer fight for the sake of peace.
As you've all probably heard the saying. When two bulls fight in the kraal. The grass suffers.
Meaning when the parents fight. The kids suffer.
So as much as those kids deserve to be fought for, and to be well supported by him. It equally isn't right nor is it healthy for them to be subjected to their parent's quarrels and have to watch their parents fight over them for the rest of their lives, having to choose which parent to side with.
YES, Penuel has his faults and should never be excused or spared from being called out for them. However, giving him our understanding won't cost us anything. Understanding is NOT the same as condoning it. It's a matter of understanding the WHY of it. Not justifying it.
From his story. I see a father who has given up fighting for his kids for the sake of not only his peace but also not to drag those kids into him and their mothers' wars. As irresponsible as he was for impregnating multiple women. He doesn't deserve to have his kids weaponized against him.
AGAIN, I DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS AND I WISH IT HADN'T COME TO THIS FOR THE SAKE OF THOSE KIDS. HOWEVER, I UNDERSTANDING WHY HE CAME TO THIS DECISION.
That's it.
❤❤❤❤❤
I see beyond what is happening in your life man. And I appreciate the fact that you allowed yourself to be sincere about it. I've consumed myself with fear of having kids outside the societal titles. But I see that you're not talking about what life should be, and you're living it, struggles and all. Be at ease man, and acknowledge that it's not about just having kids, rather, it's the revival of your lineage. Every child you've brought on Earth, they came back with your ancestry bloodline. Careless or not, bringing life on Earth superseded all the nonsensical society standards. Do Not be Ashamed. What you are doing Matters.
“ we took pictures and I posted them on social media” weleleeee
😂😂😂😂 that is what he believes is fathering
It does not matter. What matters is that the father should be given access to the children
Spoken like a true deadbeat😂
@@RayOfLetsatsi like a textbook definition of a deadbeat!
@@quest9133 I’m shook😭🤣🤣🤣
I never comment on YT, but i feel compelled.
Your story makes me feel even stronger than ever that we need to make counselling with the aim to coparent successfully a priority in todays day.
Reason being:
-We have broken fathers
-We have broken and bitter mothers
-We have entitled parents on either side
-We have parents who lack accountability and self introspection
This is only a tip of the iceberg.
The result of this social disease is children who suffer because their parents(mostly mothers) bleed onto their children.
Pen when you enter and exit relationships that have children you may have left bruised/wounded women behind who in turn bleed on everything around them because they feel wronged somehow.
To you it may be something small but it may be something big to them making them want to make you suffer the same way they percieve you hurt them.
Anger blinds people, it blinds a mother who professes to love her child to the fact that she is depriving her child from their birthright of having both parents and also robs them of their sense of belonging.
I commend you for speaking up about this great injustice that affects mostly tomorrow's adults.
I have a lot of empathy for your situation and i wish you the best with your journey.
Remember when 2 bulls fight, the grass suffers. These innocent kids are the grass.
I pray that both of these mothers(not B*tches Pen) can look into their childrens eyes one day and ask for forgiveness for depriving them of having both parents and families in their lives.
Pen with all fairness, people attacked you online after making a video about how messed up children of single mothers were. In your own words you even said, "People should not marry ladies from single-parent homes", most people felt how dare you when you left 5 women as single moms. I am really sorry that you had to deal with so much mentally and emotionally, but that's called growing pains and I hope you have great support systems to lean on. Uzoba strongo mfethu.
Women are not victims. 5 of them didn't have enough sense to not do this? Now kids are affected. I'm not disagreeing njalo, just shocked men.
Why is he the one who always left , baby mothers sometimes leave baby fathers , cheat on them or become toxic to stay but nothing surprising as accountability is rare as water in desert in certain species 😂😂😂😂😂
What I love about you, is your EXTREME ACCOUNTABILITY.. You speak the truth and I can see you a man of honor and Integrity.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
All the best and I hope you have time with all your kids sooner than later.
@mikha-eelwarden4541 Thank you for SEEING me and my heart 🙏🏽❤️
When you do the same mistake 7 times is not an accountability but a reckless behaviour
@@Sterfillahexactly, this is what a man does to wash his hands... 😢.
@@Sterfillah the woman are obviously bad. I concerned for these kids and the man who will meet these woman and probably marry them.
Extreme accountability my foot...EXTREME WRECKLESSNESS
I think the women withholding the kids, hoped to change your mind on marriage. Deep down they desired a monogamous relationship with you. I respect how you own your life choices.
@@marjoriseomar7370 If that was their hope, it was a really dumb strategy.
If you want to win a man over, shower him with love and give him full access to his kids.
Anyways... thank you for your comment and thoughts 🙏🏽
Very true, it's hard for a woman to accept that she offered to give a man a baby without him giving commitment in exchange
@DJPapzin but they themselves consented to it.
I'm judging the moms
I hope your children understand why you took the decision you took and all the best to you and the children. I watched the whole video and it took me back to what I went through with my parents... I understand why my dad did what he did and I hate women who use their children to fight their battles but in my parents case I understand both sides as it is a case of you can't teach an old dog new tricks. They have both put one another through a lot and that pain has become a part of their lives and they are not open to have that conversation, they are both right and are incapable of taking responsibility for their contribution towards this whole mess... It has left us divided as children 💔
As soon as we separated with the father of my child he didn't support her at that time my child was 9yrs,she's 19 yrs old fist year in University but she still goes n visit her father n his family i don't have a problem, fighting our battles with our baby Daddys it not worth it.
The worse thing is when school is close kids goes their fathers home n yours always at our home it affects our kids
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 we appreciate you queen, let’s continue to protect our children and put them first
And some of are here praying for our baby daddies to just give our kids a call....nevermind providing, just a call.
Tjo sis😢😭 that's all I keep thinking watching this
Everything happens for a reason, just know that. Also it will happen in the right time if it's meant to happen ❤
Sies. You opened your legs to such rubbish.
A call???…. My sister have some standards please. My dad was a deadbeat if I heard that mom was desperate for me to be on the call with him I would be embarrassed 🤦🏾♀️
Ntwana irrespective of the amount of kids you have. You deserve access. Even at 15 kids bro. I feel your pain ntwana. Access can’t be a privilege it’s a flipin right.
I commend your openness and honesty and Effort… there are many out there living a lie - only to look good amongst peers and society as a whole 🙏
"having a baby mama will make you realise why your dad left you"
_plutoski
Much as I want to disagree, i must say i agree with you
deep message but definetly true unplanned kids ruin relationships and will lead to its break up
I think God knew what he was doing when He said No sex before marriage. He wanted to save us from our selves
Until you marry and get divorced and go through the same thing...
@@docmediaMlambo doesn't happend if you are both godly people
I’m 4min in and my brain can’t comprehend this man’s logic… I can’t imagine these kids watching this video.
But to each their own I can’t finish watching, thought I’d understand his side of the story but it’s too heartbreaking to continue listening to it
Jonga, I'm 12 seconds in and I decided to come to the comment section to mentally prepare myself lol. I don't know if I should proceed. Ai ngeke.
It’s sickening …I’m with u on not even completing….sies
So he should keep supporting even when he doesn't have access?
@@bonolomakgatadeluent3150As a woman and a mother I say no, he can't keep maintaining the kids. I refuse
@@zetzeefuldon't be quick to judge especially if you have a brother
Ridiculous imagine the kids friends rubbing that on their faces "YOUR FATHER WALKED AWAY FROM YOU" imagine the damage on that
You're restless
😭😭😭
Pen is supposed to date only women with the same beliefs as him like Nkunzis mom but what does he do? date women that have different expectations then come online to cry foul.
Lol, guys can you allow people to vent ? This is not an invitation for judgement.
@@sacramentm4692 lol clearly you don't know Pen and his Penuelism.
You could feel the emotion in Penuel's voice, this is sad. I'm a product of such a situation and I'm only now intentionally building relationship with one of my half siblings because of the same situation
All the best and thank you very much for shedding light on this issue.
This is a cry for help more than anything...hope you get someone who can help you connect with your children...I can't judge you brother it's tough out there..at least you can talk about it...
Right, he needs therapy.
Pen. I do not even know what to say. I am a woman and I do not have kids. But one thing I always said to myself is this: If I do have kids I will never allow them to be used to control or manipulate me. I can see myself doing what you’re doing: walking away from the drama and the pain it is causing you. Stay strong and always keep the door open for your children as you are doing. You are not a bank or a trust fund. Don’t let anyone treat you that way. Stay strong.
Whatever you do don't stop supporting the kids financially, you're not doing the mom's a favor but just making it easier for them to be well taken care of. Everything else can be solved as time goes by 😶
With zero access?? Aaaaai that's not fair..
@@blaqbee03no matter how unfavorable the situation is, always put the kids first they never asked to be part of the unfair situation, that's my take, each to his own
@@gabasenne well only the pot knows how hot the stove is... It
That's enabling her
horrible advice
I could hear the pain in your voice when talking about Zulu. You always maintain composure with your videos no matter how hard it can be. Much respect for your strength. I personally support you going public with this. No only would this educate some but also beneficial for your kids. There WILL be evidence when the kids ask their mothers about their father. They will have 1st hand , questions answered straight from your mouth
I feel so blessed as a woman to have listen this video because it has built me to be a better mom and stepmom. And um more equipped in various way since i listen to your chanel. Now um gonna make my partner listen more of this so we could atleast make better environment for all our children. Kea leboha haholo
@NeoBolae-rh5vk Thank you Neo. We appreciate good mothers who try their best. Kea leboha 🙏🏽❤️
Yoh! You really hurt her kodwa ke. Unfortunately your son will suffer. He is very young and I do believe that boy children need male mentors if not their dads.
Yhooo idrama engaka Penuel... Just stop creating broken homes
Pen stop bra, I swear this like the fourth time you have declared this, it's just winging at this point 😂
Right, i member he made a similar video on his son a few years ago.
Honestly Penuel, I’m sorry you going through this. Zulu’s mom usile nje and the other one is just bad shit crazy and that’s on you. Zulu is old enough to have a phone and I just pray that he can get to you on social media and you can get to see each other in secret somehow. I have a friend who’s dad would go to school and he would see her in secret, he’d bring us food on Friday’s sometimes he’d pick her up and they would go to the movies. They did this for years since grade 6. I wish you all the best ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Your kids loving you is nothing special, it's very normal. Kids tend to love absent dads even more.😊
the love disappears as they grow. Resentment grows instead.
You chose to create broken homes. The excuses and gaslighting is laughable.
I'm shocked he had the audacity to even record this.
This is it. Bad life choices! What were you thinking? WHat on earth were you doing? So so stupid!
Stop being ignorant. He's clearly fighting for his kids. You sound like a bitter baby mama yourself.
He must lay in the bed he prepared for himself😁
I have nothing but respect for you chief; the weight you are carrying can only be carried by a god! The world is full of folks that are so imperfect themselves but will jump at the first opportunity to point out the speck in another's eye!
There is so much good in you.
😂😂😂he is reading his kids names...Yoh you need help
if you had 8 kids from different mother's, you'd also need notes to keep your story straight
@@lorrainemndebele8212😂😂😂😂
Nxese Mntanam ❤
I can really feel your pain.
You're a Loving Dad and may the LORD STRENGTHEN you in ALL your Endeavors of uniting with your children.
Remain BLESSED.
Many of us might not be comfortable with your family planning choices my brother but I 100% agree that our court system is on the side of women at the detriment of children's well-being. Cut the financial cord and SHE will locate you.All the best .
What about the kids, they are still too young to understand that they were collateral damage between 2 adults who chose to have unprotected sex, procreate and when things went south the children are left high and dry.
By the way, with so many baby momma's whose moral values and ethical codes are they being taught to be responsible parents and responsible members of the community? Are you willing to relinquish this responsibility of parenthood including discipline to the step parent(or many if the woman carries on looking for a suitable partner for herself? How will you feel if he decides not to play the parental role to your offspring? Are you prepared for the dynamics of the baby momma's having other kids with other partners who are not willing to accept or have different belief systems to yours) but custody is still with their mom's legally?
Let's put money aside and the visits, time and resources wasted on pause. Child rearing is a 24hr, 365 days a year full time job which include teaching, homework, morale code.
Right now you are angry, hurt, drained and feel let down by the courts and possibly family. Not the right time to make such a momentous decisioñ with such far reaching effects.
Wait, breathe and sort yourself emotionally to the point where the anger is not the leading decision maker. 😢🎉
Remember the courts favour the mothers because they bear more responsibility for the children.
Imagine how much each child is getting in terms of mantainance....as the money has to be split in 7....it means the mothers are carrying the bulk of the financial burden, I understand how some if these women are dealing with absolute rage......This situation is extremely messy.....
Hayibo do you know how much Penuel is making and paying in maintenance?
@@Siyambonga_Mbasane Can you think of any other reason why the mothers would be behaving the way they are? That behaviour is not falling from the sky, it's a symptom of deeper underlying issues....
Then why would you assume it’s Penuel not contributing enough money?
Not providing for your child is not reason enough for you to be refused access. Even if you were broke, as long as you avail yourself for your child you can't be denied access. That’s why maintenance courts are separate from family courts.
I suggest that you continue paying child support if you can and pick up the access fight another time when you are up for it.
I wish the father of my oldest 2 kids would care enough to want to see his children let alone pay maintenance. I don't know what the mental and emotional state of the mothers of your children are, but from my standpoint- I wish more fathers had the same desire to be present in their children's lives as you do Pen! Hang in there, bhuti wam. Kuzolunga. Andazi kanjani or nini but kuzolunga. Libuhlungu ibali lakho.
Your strength and resilience are truly inspiring, and it's evident that your love for your children knows no bounds. Keep your head up and continue to fight for what is right, because your efforts will not go unnoticed. Remember, you are a pillar of strength not only for your children but for everyone who witnesses your journey.
Stay strong, keep the faith, and know that there are many who support and believe in you. Your story is a testament to the power of perseverance and the depth of a father's love. May you find peace and joy in the little moments and may your heart be filled with hope for a brighter tomorrow.
Yhoooo this video made me cry yaz and I will never understand women at all. A father who wanna be present, he is denied rights to be a father…that’s just being selfish qha. Uxolo bhuti but abantwana bayakhula yaye they will make their own choices and decisions.
Much love and respect to you and your truth❤ and I am proud of you bhuti🤞. 😢😢😢
I feel your pain @godpenuel. This couldn’t have been an easy decision for you to make. Sending you love and peace brother. I hope you heal from this. 🙏🏾
I feel ur pain through this though time may u find peace for this decision u have taken. I'm so proud of you my brother 🙏 this is so sad. I wish you all the best I'm really hurt by this post😢
Reading the title I had doubts, but listening to the video. Tough but I have to agree... Hopefully the domino effect works out in your favour and this is a plausible example to be used in courts as a blueprint so that a years long battle is resolved in months or days.
This channel should be used to address and fix society.
Shout out Pen
You made the right decision, Zulu will come back when he wants the truth. Don't stress yourself and deprive yourself from your available kids chasing after absent ones
Now Zulu, Shaka and Nkanyezi must the be ones rectifying the the consequences of their parents choices, that's sad. These kids were planned even though red flags were there.
I hear what Penuel is saying neh.. I see the passion I hear him kodwa man there is a level of toxicity I’m getting from this narration and I cant explain it. (Note I say I’m getting, he probably isn’t giving it ) but ku toxic man! Also the reference to what he does on video with his kids and social media posts ai Cut!🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️
This is so sad man 😢 but don't let her change who you are. Never stop fighting for your boy because he can feel every effort you do deep in his heart. You not a dead beat father so don't let someone else's action or challenges change who you are. I believe in you Sir, salute 🫡
I clicked on this because I thought your title was tongue in cheek. Alas, you are serious. This is really abysmal behaviour. Please think twice about conducting your battles with your children's mothers on social media and using your children as pawns. You have been blessed with such beautiful, sweet looking children. Be grateful and do better for their sakes.
Be strong. Thank for sharing. I will keep you in my prayers
This is truly saddening, have been following you since 2021 and judging from your side it seems that baby boy is a weapon according to his mom.. I wish she could just put her ego aside and do this for the kid😢
No one deserves being kept away from thre very own children. Especially if they want to be involved, it's just not right.
I hope the moms really deal with what ever hurt they are going through. So they can get into the point of putting their children 1st.
No judgement but u are a self proclaimed narcisstist so I am wondering HOW MUCH OF YOUR ACTIONS contributes to her not trusting u or ur family with the child.. Unless she's a narc too.., But at the end of the day, I wish all of us healing and maturity for the sake of our children.
It amazes me how men expect a standing ovation for parenting at their convenience...
Seemingly you are atleast consistant in reaching out and supporting your children Sir.
I'm the 8th child out of 15 of my father's children, from 8 different women. I am now in my 40s and have a good relationship with all my siblings.
I would not have it any other way because my dad took care of all of us, we all have careers and families, when we meet it's a blast. Our kids get along as cousins and are growing up together.
Pen just make sure you never let your kids grow apart, you are the common denominator in their lives and make sure you play your role as an anchor and live long enough to witness the legacy you have built.
My prayers for you Penuel, be strong be patient the time will come when the kids will no more need anyone in between but call you directly, and most of kids that are refused acees to their fathers later they drop the mothers family all together and move to their fathers unfortunately.
You are not innocent here chief, you did not create a conducive environment for your children to grow in. We keep lying to ourselves as men thinking just having kids at will is the African way. No long term commitment to the women who are integral in making all this work.
Are you justifying what the mother is doing?
@@CHEEZIENATOR Not at all my brother, however Penuel and a few South African man have encouraged a very toxic culture in South Africa of baby making without building families. Which means you find a woman that meets a criteria to be a wife, mother and a co-pilot in building a legacy for atleast your children but hopefully something that extents beyond your own bloodline. Instead they are perpetuating a baby making culture because thats what supposedly is African. Ignoring the damage that these single parent house holds are causing to the black community. I live in KZN and I work with students. No matter how strong resourced a woman can be they will never replace the presence of a man in a household seeing him everyday and how he navigates different things about life. Listen to the Head of Police in KZN and he will tell you we have a black man problem in the province, largely caused by these long distance parents who make babies they do not raise. At some point we need to look at ourselves as man, the role to lead the family is largely on us not on the woman, whether you like it or not. Societies that have man in the home are much more stable regardless of how impoverish they are.
What about the women who choose to have children knowing very well that they don't have a 'condusive' area to live/ grow up in?
Bro the woman are also bad here. But hey I get it, certain guys raised by single mothers, or come from broken homes, or had abusive and absent fathers, think that anything a woman does or say is right; in fact they prioritize female validation more than anything else.
@@kingtbass-t2793 i thought the man is LeaDEr
Thank you Penuel, continue speaking for the voiceless!
you brave king,,, and thanks for being a voice for us men who chose to just shut up,, and let things be before we are listed as GBV
You such a great narrator and the fact that you can keep a topic going all by yourself,while keeping us so engaged
We are in the same situation, baby mamas are an issue. I’ve been in court for the last 3 years fighting to see my daughter. Stay strong my guy, good fathers don’t quit
don't have baby mamas if you want a peaceful life
Harde Ta Pen❤️
Invest all those contributions you would have sent in an aggressive fund. Maybe when the Lad is older and more autonomous, he will reach out and you will be able to show him that you’ve always been there.
@@tokolohomokoena7882 Thank you for the love and advice, TK. I appreciate it. He must grow up soon so we can connect outside of his mom.
This is a great suggestion, I hope he implements.
It's not about that. He's making excuses because he doesn't wanna support them anymore.
@@Penuelism Don't count on it bro cause the amount of manipulation & poison dripping she would have fed him by then will make him blind to see what's really went on cause he's already form a negative perception of you that the resentment he has towards u makes him blind . Only him expriencing the same shit with a baby mama or wife he will understand and so the cycle continues .
@@fezinkosi9505 so I take you know the mothers?
A lack of access to your children doesn't change the DNA of your children unfortunately Broer, they still have to eat, they still have to have clothing, they also need to feel the pride of knowing that the father contributes to their upbringing in a way. That doesn't change because you do not have access to them. How will you feel seeing your child going to a poor quality school due to your withdrawal of funds? Also, you're giving her more ammunition to further drive a wedge between you and your son. I'm in a similar situation by the way so I'm talking from experience.
I agree. Withdrawal of finances from the child will be a grave mistake. He must take the L but not withdraw from the child financially. He should continue funding the child's development, keep receipts, and present the receipts to the child when they are old enough to seek answers without being blocked by the mother.
My interpretation of your scenario is that the mother is so petty and does not love their child so much that they’d rather have their child grow up poor than get maintenance money and give the father access.
Like how twisted can a woman be to put their child through that. Nahhh
@@MissXsmiles That is so correct. But unfortunately, as a man you have to subdue your feelings for the greater good in such situations. She may be wrong but she's the one that they'll see hustle to put food on the table, she's the one who'll be seen to be doing all to make her kids look like other kids and that will make the kids love her more while they hate the father who is living large elsewhere. In the next 7 years, I can guarantee you that those kids will come looking for him and when they want to establish the facts it'll be good for them to hear that he continued supporting them but couldn't go against the law to gain access. The consequences of what she's doing may be irreversible and will only affect the children. If that happens, I can guarantee you that she will not hesitate to call and ask him to 'talk to his children' or even send them to live with him because now they're not well behaved. So he must just push through and pray that she gets a divine revelation to change her ways.
@@TiisetsoMoleko-s4r I don’t know Tiisetso, I am a product of a blended family with a bitter father that stopped paying maintenance because my mother remarried and changed my surname when I was a toddler. We lived a normal life in the bundus, not even middle class, and I won’t lie to you, the only thing I could not understand after meeting my father at the age of 23 is why he never wanted to meet me coz he had access. I did not care about the money, maybe because I had so much love at home and had everything I needed i.e. food, a home and education. I’m a forgiving person in general and did not hold a grudge even before meeting him but till today, I wonder why he chose to distance himself when the beef is not with me. I feel that says a lot about his character too.
So in this instance, I say, Pen should withhold the funds because it’s better to have a present father than live in luxury. If the mother chooses to deprive her kids of a better life because of pride then she will answer to that, but I don’t believe in feeding and satisfying her pettiness by sending money because of “guilt-tripping”.
I’m just gatvol of women who use their kids as bargaining chips, it’s distasteful.
@@MissXsmiles "it’s better to have a present father than live in luxury", I agree with that 100%. I've seen people live in poverty but the kids light up when they see their 'poor' father approach. I guess situations are different, he's made his decision. We can only pray that it doesn't go south for the kids. What's a man to do in this situation though? Sue SAPS? Sue the lady? So much hurdles to see your children.
Hayihhh!! Lawe.😪 Learn to be responsible and get a VASECTOMY.
I feel like Pan is sooo proud of having kids all over the nation honestly.
yes he fucks anything
This man deserves a reality show to expose the plight of an average black man. It was more of a learning experience for me.
This is so sad because this will impact your son adversely At 10yrs a child can say he definitely wants to see you this will have a very bad impact on your son later on in life Your son will find one day and I hope it will fix your relationship . I pray that you will reconcile with your son Thank you for sharing Black Pen
I cant even imagine the soul ties and spiritual entanglements all over the place. Must be a tough life.😢
I just LOVE your kids' names. 🧡💚
Penuel is emotionally drained sorry my brother
I feel your pain man. My own biological sister is depriving his baby daddy access to his child, and the reason we (her family) know, is that it's because the guy moved on. To make matters worse, she feeds the child (my nephew) all sorts of lies about his father. We have tried to mediate with no success. Now my sister just got married, and she is trying to change the surname of the child to her husband's surname. There is more I can say, but I'm mentioning just a little to say I get you my guy. Some women use innocent children as weapons to fight and inflict inward pain to their baby daddies.
@@sisekelodlamini3488 This is tragic to read, but even sadder is that this story is common.
Please tell the kids the truth, and if you have the ability, please find the father and get his side of the story.
@@sisekelodlamini3488 dudes need to stop marrying/dating single mothers. We are inabling women's bad decision making and bad behavior.
How did changing the surname go? Is the father fighting it?
Please don't give up on your kids 🙏, I can see that you really love them
Why are you telling us this, it's your decision and your choice, your burden so live with it and don't involve us.
The saddest thing is people who are commenting vile things. Nobody is perfect but quick to kick a man telling his story.
All the best Penzo
There is nothing vile about rebuking evil and all it's actions...we can no longer coddle and excuse degeneracy in our communities and cultures. In the year 2070, some of us will be grandfather's to people we've never met and that will be the norm🙆🏿♂️ a nation of bastards and we won't know how/when it became a norm.
Noone is asking for perfection... Our grandfather's and ancestors weren't perfect, but these things never happen/weren't the norm... Today we console each other by saying at least you are trying/you tried. Women blame men, and we blame women and the government as penuel states...
Even he admits, that he tried to not be like his father but alas, we repeat the cycles we so desperately try to escape if we are not intentional as a community to shun these things... Today it's more popular for single households than it was in our parents generation, because there is no longer a stigma associated to having/coming from a broken family
@@tspen4128 you might've misunderstood what I meant by vile things but I'm on the same level with you. You are correct
Don't retract your statement @sbusisomhlanga6363. Most of these comments are vile.
No one on this thread is qualified to rebuke or criticise. Pen made choices and is admitting his mistakes... so what qualifies us to condemn?
Let this be a lesson
Vet these women before you bring them home let the elders know them before spreading the seed
This man fucked around and now he found out, now he is cutting ties to 3 kids because he failed to vet 2 women
Vet a woman gents get a PI , run a background check before sleeping with them
I empathise with you tau stay strong
It takes two to tango so i would like the mothers side of the story before i comment
Make another 3 kids my brother while you wait for them to grow and reunite with you.
After those 3 kids he'll make another video he made a similar one a few years back and then he didn't have 7 kids
he will shem. By 2030 he will have 5 more baby mamas
Do your best to be a dad at your capacity. Most of these comments aren’t constructive and are based on the nature of the partner that you may have been. However I think for the most part I believe you’re raising sentiments of having to try be the best father! Love and light to you and yours! Especially your children.❤️
O tla ba sharpo auth'aka ❤
Your children will always love you... I don't fully agree with the decision you're taking to no longer participate financially in the lives of the children you're being denied access to... but I understood
Continue paying my authi... keep all the proof like you have advised all of us. The kids Will appreciate this one day... As for their mothers... all we can do is to wish them healing... that's all**
I wanna read some these comments in the voices of people who posted them... Voicenote comments would be soooo coool 😅
Another way to provide for a kid whom you do not have acces to, it to pay school fees directly into school account. Also to provide school uniforms and food shopping vouchers.
But his been doing that but still can't have access to his son.. Are you even listening to him??
This cuts deep. Pen understands that only providing is not enough. He wants contact and connection with his kids.