Hey guys! My past few videos have been a bit foggy! I am having more camera issues but they will be fixed by the next video! Thank you for being amazing!! Let's spread some LOVE in the comment section!
Danelle Hallan I have so much respect for you, thank you for sharing you personal story. I've been in a similar situation that I have never voiced out loud because I just simply can't, I understand how hard that was for not only to say it out loud but to say it out loud to say it out loud to thousands of people. Thank you, I have nothing but love and respect for you. ❤️
Danelle Hallan thank you for sharing danelle we love you and I can’t say that has been me but I can relate because my brother is going through something similar 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing my boy's story Danelle. We are so grateful for your time and talents and addressing bullying/mental illness. Huge hugs to you. We miss him every minute of every day.
Wishin I'mFishin There’s a difference between sadness and depression. For example say someone gets turned down for a job, one person may want to go out and have a drink because it’s upsetting and they’ll be down for a few days but they move on. Someone with depression gets turned down for a job and maybe in their head their brain is saying “Of course you didn’t get the job because you’re worthless, unintelligent, stupid. Why did you even think you could do it?” and if they try to talk to someone about how they’re feeling they’re brain may say “Don’t bother them with your problems, they don’t care, you’ll just annoy them.” Which can lead to “why are you even on this earth, you’re not contributing. Why not end it? No one will care if you’re gone.” Large difference imo.
Pretty sure everyone's been there, it's just a matter of how you deal with it in the long-run. Just because a situation may be unique, doesn't mean their level of grief is (although, in a few rare and select cases, it may). It's just a part of life, and something we all have to deal with at one point or another.
It wasn't about anime. It was about his escape. If he was concealing his depression all day long, it was probably exhausting, so being up at night escaping through his anime gave him time to reload. When that was taken away, he probably felt hopeless in his own mind. The one thing he had to cope was gone. No one should make fun of that.
Yep, you are RIGHT!!! That is what I do with TV & youtube. Take that away & things are very different. I'm not BLAMING his parents but I feel like treating him like he's 6 when he's 18 isn't a very beneficial way of parenting! In such a short time, he'd be free to do what he wants. If he's making those decisions to stay up all night at age 18 taking away his devices, it just felt like a very wrong way to parent, especially since he did have some developmental issues. I guess most parents parent the way they feel is right it just didn't feel right to me.
My trigger once was a package of cream cheese. I came home after a crappy day, looking forward to baking up a magnificent dessert, as it was a hobby that let me relax, feel productive and capable. The recipe required a box of cream cheese, that I specifically told my (albeit abusive) ex NOT to use. He used it and told me he did it because "it wasn't actually important, didn't matter" and ignored me. I just got up and left. As Danelle said, I wasn't going anywhere. I was just GOING. I wanted to be GONE. No keys, no purse. Just me.
Mine was a piece of stake flying off my plate and landing on the floor while cutting it up. Looking back it was ridiculous tho be so upset about steak but it wasn't the stake it was so much more, it was the tipping point
This may be a stretch, but I work in Southern California as an EMT and I have run calls in and around homeless camps, the next time that I do, I will make sure to ask them if they, or know of anyone who does, might know Macin, I'll show his picture and give a quick description. Homeless camps are popular out here.
If hes close with the people hes staying with. He most likely is going by a different name,appearance and probably told people to not reveal anything about his whereabouts. He ran away. What dont you people get. He doesn't want to be found .
This hit me right in the heart. I'm crying! It's clear that you truly care about the missing people you talk about in your videos. You have a way of humanizing their stories and making it personal. You are doing a great thing in making sure that these missing people are never forgotten!
Agreed! Danelle and John Lordan convey genuine care and compassion for the victims and their families in their videos, regardless of what their background may or may not be. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.
Julie McLean she isn’t the only person doing this, not saying she isn’t doing a good thing and a more relaxed than some others lol! Have you heard of shauna Rae?
Macin, honey. If you’re out there & if there’s any chance in the world you see this, you are absolutely 100% not alone. I’ve suffered through social anxiety & bipolar depression since I was 12. I am now 21. I believe my anxiety & depression was triggered by surviving sexual abuse for many years starting when I was 4. I won’t lie, it’s hard. Every single day is a a struggle but I’m not alone. & neither are you. Or anyone reading this comment for that matter. My mom helps get me out of bed & gets me out of the house. I don’t know what I’d do without her. But it is so worth it. My biggest dream in life is to be a mother & honestly, that’s what keeps me grounded. I’d love to be able to have kids one day & protect them like I was unable to do for myself. You are so loved Macin, & it’s okay to come home. You have thousands & thousands of people who want to see you come home & be okay. If anyone needs someone to talk to, I’m always here! We can talk & be friends! Especially you Danelle!! Thank you for sharing your story love. Stay strong everyone💕💕
TO MACIN: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT YOU COULD DO OR COULD HAVE DONE THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR FAMILY STOP LOVING YOU. You can ALWAYS come home. No matter how bad you think it is, it CAN AND WILL get better!!!!!! Wishing you love, peace and positivity wherever you are. ❤❤❤
i have trouble believing a guy with social anxiety would hitch hike I have social anxiety and would rather die than get in a car with someone I don't know
I can't tell you how often during my PPD I thought "my kid would be better without me, I should just leave." We really should be more open about this stuff so other women don't feel so alone.
I got off all drugs after 6 years of every single day using; yeah my son spent a month in a giant hospital, and I got the ppd and didnt even know it. I just attributed it all to missing my drugs. I was so supervised and grieving the loss of my lifestyle not even fully knowing that I was doing that I thought I lost my mind. 3 years. I took 2 trips only my sons father knew of, my mom didnt know till the noght before and till he came home without me; we live in PA and I went to FL and CO. I still have scars from 3 big falls in FL and I never fall, im catlike on my feet and broke my wrist jagged in CO and with my soft cast rolled and scarred on top of the first scar from 6 months prior in FL in another fall. In CO. I was running constantly in my mind, in my home and eventually in really life. You cant breathe all day without getting oxygen like it was insane, all while still NOT on pot in particular, that was my leveling ground where I came to terms with myself and reality in the most harmonious way and tried and got freaked which wasnt me after my son was born and these things probably had an effect but sometimes i think i didnt just brave the high like I did initially soo many years ago, I literally was not used to having a tolerance or not being able to do what I wanted when I smoked, my life fell apart in my eyes. Your videos make me love my son so much from afar when hes NOT around. Since I actually am now. Longest comment I have ever and will ever write. Never got the chance to just tell this like it is before, I like to write so as to get my thoughts in order, out and not forgotten. Cool, thanks guys if anyone actually reads this. Whole thing. Im good now. Just with a different piece in my mind. And in my heart, one could never cooperate without the other in my body. End of this now. Love to ya awwllll 😪😬😏
I suffered with PPD as well. Many times I sat and cried and thought my daughter would be better off without me. I even went so far as to attempt suicide. I hope and pray that these stories of women like us open up more and more! I hope this young man is safe and comes home
I forgot how heavy this is. I remember when I wasn't diagnosed with my depression, PTSD, and General Anxiety Disorder, I was suicidal due to the same thing you said, I felt like a burden. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and started to cut my wrist. I don't remember even any of this stuff happening until after, but I will never forget how I felt. I was in the process of cutting myself and then I realized that I needed help, and I wasn't okay. Thank God the cut wasn't deep at all so I called 911 crying and told them what was happening. I met them outside and I will never forget the feeling of hopelessness. When I saw my Mom, I broke down and knew I had to get help. Now I'm okay. Please don't judge people who are going through depression. It's something you cannot describe. You feel like nothing. You dissociate and you dissolve to nothing. Depression is very misunderstood. You can't just change your mind and say " you know what, I'm not gonna be depressed anymore! Yay!". People are confusing the feeling and the illness. When you are clinically depressed, you NEED help. Some need meds, and some need therpy, but don't EVER make fun of someone for being suicidal. That's ignorant and I cannot believe it's 2019 and people still think depression is a joke.
I'm so glad you were able to get help and are doing much better. After my oldest child was born, I developed postpartum depression and an anxiety disorder. I was extremely suicidal. Before my experience, I was ignorant and thought depression was a choice, then I had it! No one who hasn't been there can even imagine. I felt like I was totally out of control of my mind and body at all times. I took every knife and bottle of pills out of my house because I was TERRIFIED I was going to hurt myself. The suicidal thoughts were so strong that I would have to force myself to not think about it. It wasn't like this sudden decision like, "ok. I'm going to kill myself." It was a NEED a DESIRE that I felt I couldn't control. I never knew what it was until I dealt with it. I'm so much better now. That was 16 years ago, and that is still the worst year of my life. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy saved my life!
Thanks for being brave enough to share this ♡ Absolutely, the exact *wrong* thing to say with someone struggling with mental illness is, "snap out of it." It's not malicious, just ignorant, of course.. but that lack of acceptance and/or understanding can cause a lot of damage & despair.
I have a laundry list of mental health diagnoses. There is someone that I had contact with over the years who LOVES to say 'i don't know why you choose to be so unhappy. Just BE happy. Think happy. You are the one who has decided to be that way. Just stop. it's that simple'.....hahahaha. people have no idea how this works.
Thank you for trusting us and for being vulnerable by sharing your story. It’s important that people hear these examples we’ve experienced so they can get the bigger picture.
When someone is at the point of running away or taking their life, they are truly thinking about the ones they love. They really honestly believe that they are doing what is best for their loved ones. Please don’t think of it as selfish because they do not do those things for themselves. They do it because they feel it’s best for everyone else.
This is So very true. At my worst I always felt like I was the burden that was ruining everyone else’s life. I wanted to be gone to make things easier for everyone around me.
Macin, if you come across this video and just so happen to see these comments, we all want you to know that you are 100000% not alone. Your family loves you and misses you so much, there are so many people like me that know how you feel, and we need you to make the brave decision to get back home to your family. I know many other people can relate to this. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for a very long time and I understand the feeling of just wanting to up and leave it all behind. You are not alone Macin
This one hit close to home. My 18 uear old son is EXACTLY like Macin. He has social anxiety, depression and has been hospitalized a couple times. He wont get his license for the same reason.He is a wonderful kid! My heart really goes out to his parents. I couldnt imagine that happening to my son, It would destroy me. We are extremely close. This one brought tears to my eyes. I pray his family can find answers and peace.❤
I literally almost starting crying when I heard about the driving anxiety bit that Macin suffers from because at 17, I’m in that exact same boat, I got bullied so my family picked up and moved cities and I also prefer to stay in and watch videos and Netflix... my mom is supportive of that, but my dad tries endlessly to pressure me to get behind the wheel which gives me panic attacks. I feel for him because it’s the worst feeling in the world when you can’t figure out why driving, one of the most normalized activities in the world, is the most gut wrenching thing... 💔
I felt the same at age 17. I never got my license and still don't, at nearly age 39. Granted, I live in a large city that has public transportation and I can walk to most places. But the idea of driving gives me a panic attack- I'm terrified of running over a child or killing a person.
I am the same way I’m almost 17 and just got my permit because my dad and brother bullied me into I just got so much anxiety from it, and I would overthink it, and I’m proud of how far I came and how well I’m doing and I knew I had to doniy
This also hits me because there is a new coworker at my job who works differently and my other coworkers aren't trying to support him or make the situation better. They judge him harshly because he is different and I keep finding myself being more compassionate, because I understand that we aren't all the same. I am going to keep standing up for him, because I know how harsh people can be when they don't understand and want an easy (selfish) path to follow in life.
pool8party thank you. You are an angel 😇 We all need kindness from others. Some of us are puzzle pieces that are more irregular than others, but we all want to fit in.
God Bless you for understanding and supporting your coworker👍. You are an angel. We all need to be more aware about the people around us who are struggling. The saying,"What would Jesus do" fits this perfectly. 🙏🙏
I hate the way that some coworkers can be to others. I'm just like you. I hate seeing that happen to coworkers and am usually the one sticking up for them as well. I don't understand the whole bullying culture at all, especially against somebody who is clearly struggling at times
hey macin! if you're reading this right now, i want you to know that every single person that watched this video cares about you. though none of us knew you personally, we are all here for you and we all hope that you are okay. i empathize with you on such a personal level and though i don't know if i feel quite comfortable enough sharing some of these things, i do know that the only place you can go from rock bottom is up. i've been in the mental place where i felt that being 'done' is the only way out and it is a truly terrifying thing. i understand and feel so much for you and what is going on inside your head. i haven't ever felt this emotionally connected to someone who has gone missing that i didn't know (that was poorly worded but by that i mean that i have watched hundreds of missing cases as i am very interested in working in this field, and your case/situation is genuinely one of, if not the only case(s) i have ever felt so emotionally connected to). if you are reading this, as stated before, i hope that you are in a better place and that you are happy. you deserve nothing but happiness in your life. i am sending an immense amount of love your way, macin.
I saw a documentary on this, his parents were strict Mormons, and according to the doc he was questioning the faith and his father was angry about that. I don't know how true any of it is, but in my opinion, no one should be forced to participate in religious beliefs. I know lots of parents mean well but sometimes they just suffocate their kids with their overzealousness.
i was forced into being mormon growing up. it’s super common for parents to force their children into religion especially if they live in Utah. it’s highly likely the pressure of the religion and combination of social anxiety and depression drove him out.
Buildinglifeconfidence Never knew this, but that would make sense that he wanted to just disappear then. Perhaps it wasn’t a suicide note just a “Note of intent” in the sense of he no longer wanted to be forced into Mormonism..... Adds a new theory for sure.
Yeah in Utah especially the part I live in, Mormonity is very popular and very strict and a lot of high schoolers who are forced strictly mormon tend to smoke weed do drugs and commit suicide
He may have had other money hidden away. My little brother shocked my entire family when he was about Macin's age by buying a brand new gaming PC worth over $1000. He'd just squirreled away birthday money, Christmas money and bits of his allowance for YEARS. None of us knew he was saving like that, as he was still buying games and fast food, and all the normal things a 17 year old kid would buy. He seemed to have the spending habits of a normal teenager. Sometimes even close family don't know howuch money someone has hidden away.
I was thinking that too. Theres endless possibilities. Plus if he didnt want people knowing he was leaving he wouldnt have wanted anyone to know he had money
@@ArcticSounds hahahaa i like the videos you posted. Could not comment there. ..came back here. Need a hand? ... Hahahhaaaa! Ohhhhmygawd! I lost it. Haven't laught like that in a while. Thanks! No disrespect to Original content and the story of time of Macin. 💜
Hey Mac! If you ever read this, I understand you so much. I'm not very social myself either, humans suck sometimes, well most of the time. I moved from my comfort place too a year after graduating high school and had to adjust to everything in a whole new country where EVERYONE is so social and happy and I was so terrified and freaked out by this that I almost didn't go through with my plans to study. Going to college isn't what I expected in the least because everyone is totally different from me, but I have learned to adapt somewhat. My happy place is my bedroom watching RUclips, Netflix or Dailymotion too! Either watching series, movies and just finding things to read or draw. I absolutely understand you. I understand your social anxiety but if you ever read this I want you to know you aren't alone and that I get it. It's okay to be like you are, it's okay to not be social, it's okay to be embarrassed or nervous to even order some fast food. It's okay to fear the public. It's okay to be a homebody. But pleeeease contact your home. Your parents are worried sick for you and your whereabouts, just call in ONE time to say that you're okay and will be okay. Just ONE call and you can go back to your new comfort, we all have new ones. Just one call, one letter is all they ask. Stay safe and if you are in California (my old home), enjoy the beautiful sunsets, they are gorgeous & breathtaking. Stay safe and best wishes always.
Vanessa Rami I can relate to this comment so much! I’d rather be at home in my room watching RUclips or Netflix. Know that you are also not alone! & Macin please contact your family and go home!! 💕
Vanessa Rami this is beautiful, and I really relate to this as well. I hope Macin is still out there and reads this somehow. I needed to hear it and maybe he does too. No one is ever alone and no one ever has to justify who they are and how they feel. Xxx
So when I was a teenager I was horrible. I mean I was rebellious, nasty to my parents, never went to school, etc. tiny things would set me off and one Day I looked into how to disappear without a trace. A common thread with everything I read was “leave everything behind including your personal belongings (wallet, clothes, etc)” Advice was to stash money away no one would know where it is or that you had it so once you were ready to leave you could leave your wallet, take the secret stash, and no one would have any idea. If he really was planning it that long he more than likely already knew this. That day was probably the day he made the decision to leave which isn’t an easy decision which explains why he was off. He had a lot going on in his head. Using his computer that late was most likely him planning his route, polishing up the last few details, and survival techniques. I don’t think him having his stuff taken made him snap. He most likely heard his dad coming, cleared his history, and opened up something his dad wouldn’t be suspicious of. Which is why when it was taken Macin was fine with it because he knew that he would be leaving the next morning anyway and would have to leave it behind. Then morning came and he left. If he was truly the one spotted walking aaay from his home at 3pm I also wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to come home, got to the door, said to himself “it’s now or never” and turned around and left. As for someone picking up a hitchhiker if they’re not from the area and aren’t into cases like these/don’t watch tv then I wouldn’t be shocked if they never knew he was a missing kid. I mean I never knew about him until today when I started binging unsolved cases. If he was planning on going to California the sightings in Vegas and of him hitch hiking to vegas makes a ton of sense. I think he’s alive and well. But just living on his own somewhere else, completely starting over like I wanted to so many times. He will reach out one day. I’m sure of it. I think he just needs to get to that place himself. Another thing is if he is gomelsss living at the coast of California he most likely doesn’t look the same. He’s probably tan, rugged, skinnier, longer hair, unkempt. I’m sure it would be very hard for someone to recognize him. Especially if he purposely changes the way he looks (another tip I got from my research when I was younger). My thoughts and positive energy are with hI’m and his family ❤️
Hannah Snickers Gee, where is this Shangrila of a homeless encampment? So did you leave? There are comments here about someone's brother who saved up a thousand dollars, and nobody knew..........Did HE take off! No. He bought an X Box to play video games, like Macin would have. Macin was in his room as much as possible. He was afraid to drive. He had no stash. He left with no wallet, no ID, No phone, NO BACKPACK, no food, no sleeping bag, NO COAT.... He took off a year or so esrlier, for the same reason, AND HAD ALL of the above, and came home in 3 hours because he was cold. It was September in Utah, and he took off in just his shirtsleeves? Is there ANYBODY WHO'S ACTUALLY LIVED IN ONE OF THESE PLACES FOR A LENGTH OF TIME? HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ANYBODY. These places are full of homeless people who are broke, mentally ill, criminals, etc...These places are NOT DISNEYLAND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. They are not a nice calm environment where everything is all good. They are usually dirty, and not a place that makes ONE tiny bit of sense for him to hide out. There must be a reward. THERE ARE NO HOMELESS PEOPLE THAT NEED MONEY? He's been gone 3 years, and he's just hanging out. Since this is the concensus, WHY isn't Tracey out there searching and LIVING in one of those places herself? Uh huh. O.J. Simpson said he'd search for his wife's killer for the rest of his life! Interesting he thought it would take that long......
SM Potts how did you know he doesn’t have stash??? Like if you would tell it if you’re planning to runaway. Come on, she’s just sharing her POV. Let’s just pray for this kid that he’s all fine.
I have chronic anxiety and can't drive more than 5 miles from my house. I've been like this for nearly a decade. However I've recently started feeling depressed for the first time I my life. I think daily of just driving on and on instead of going to work. Regardless of my anxiety my son is THE ONLY thing that keeps me from completely disappearing. He didn't have that. It's amazing what you can overcome when you're at your wits end.
Macin, if you are reading this, I'm guessing the thought of coming home - or contacting your family - gives you huge anxiety because of the publicity that will go with it. The thought of all that fuss, media exposure, etc. must be absolutely terrifying. I don't have social anxiety - yet the thought of it terrifies me. Would you please consider contacting Danelle Hallan instead? As she so clearly understands how you feel, you would find her empathy and understanding would help you manage the situation. And I'm sure you know this already, but no-one who loves you will judge you, criticise you or condemn you for disappearing. All they want is for you to come home. You are obviously dearly loved.
I don't know if this is true but maybe the issues with his dad ran deeper than people realize. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, and maybe he grew resentful towards his mom for staying in that situation. My step dad was super abusive and I thought he was going to kill my mom and I on several occasions, and every time I tried to talk to my mom about what I was feeling she would brush me off. I remember telling her I wanted to talk to a therapist because I was depressed, suicidal, and cutting myself and her exact words were "what do you have to be depressed over? You're not depressed you have a good life.". That was the day after my step dad grabbed her by the throat and said "I'm going to fucking kill you, bitch" right in front of me, then he came after me. Nobody else knew what was going on, and by the time I opened up to my guidance counselor she told me that I was too old for the law to do anything for me but I wasn't 18 yet so I just had to stick it out. I grew so resentful towards my mom. I hated her and my step dad. It's been 5 years and we still don't talk. I left three days before my 18th birthday and finished the last three months of high school living in my boyfriends car.
I really hate that for you. I have some advice...albeit a little intrusive...nevertheless levelheaded...my mom and I had a horrendous relationship. I was given up for adoption at age 4...abused mentally and physically for a decade. Ran away to be back with my mom who gave me no form of support. Been raising myself since 15 years old. However i love my mom to death now. Im older and have my own children. I do my best not to mess up with them, how she messed up with me. You only get one mom. Make things right before you no longer have the option to.
I can so relate to this. My step dad was a monster too and my mom was a covert narcissist (only thought about herself). When he tried to molest me, I told her and she kicked me out. I lived with friends until I could graduate. I hated them both (she divorced him a year later), and cut off contact with my mom til I had kids and felt they needed family. I regret this as she was still deranged and altho I was able to protect my kids from her psychological abuse, I got sucked back in. Twelve years later I cut her off again; she's totally hopeless. That was 5 years ago, and while I feel sad for her, and for myself not having a family (my siblings are still locked in), my kids tell me how glad they are that we are free of it and I do feel so much more peace. I hope your situation is different, but if its not and you have to stay away, good for you for standing up for yourself when she didn't. ♥️
Lol I had a drunk abusive father and he had a very turbulent relationship with my mother as well and she said pretty much that exact same thing when I told her I was depressed when I was around 12. "What do you have to be depressed about??" Lol wtf...umm how about my extremely miserable life if you haven't noticed it yet?
I can SOOOO relate!!!! You're not the only one Erica! Mine ran out of the house at the end of a gun that her 3rd husband was holding. I was like 9 or 8 & she didn't even bother to try & take me. I wish I could not think about that but it was important. I hope you can feel better Erica. I feel like this stuff can stay with you your entire life!
That sounds like me. My step dad wasn’t very violent but he was very emotionally and verbally abusive and my mom did nothing to stop the way he acted. He made my mom not talk to her family and start to hate me. I haven’t talked to my mom in almost a year.
My heart aches for Macin, I understand him and i do think and hope that he ran away. Macim, if you come across this video and see this, please know that your return could mean nothing but relief and happiness for your family if that's what you're worried about. we ALL want you to return safe
The fact that the parents won't reveal what the note said may indicate that Macin confessed something which would bring him or his parents embarrassment if it were made public. Maybe he told his family he was gay, or having gender identity issues, or something that can cause people deep shame, and this is why he ran away or killed himself. It could follow that if he were alive, he may be too ashamed to ever come home again..
I thought the same thing. I'm ASSUMING they're Mormon(I think they hate that term now but I dont know the correct one) given their family size, where they live, and the religious factor. That is a HUGE sin in the Mormon faith. That could definitely be a reason for leaving🤔
I hope for you it does. I hate to be a cliche and say it will but it did for me and it's not perfect but it's gotten better. I hope for you nothing but happiness
It’s crazy how it comes and goes sometimes isn’t it. I will feel great for a month straight, the world is great, my life is great, everything is going smoothly, and one day I’ll wake up and it has hit me like a truck. Going about my day and every little thing has me saying “What’s the point in this? Idc about any of this shit. I can’t do anything right, I hate everyone, everyone just leave me alone” and unfortunately the bad lasts longer than the good. Sometimes for a few months or years. I wonder if it will ever go away
Thank you everyone, I’m glad in this community we can sympathize instead of ostracize. I know it will get better, slowly but surely. Even if it isn’t completely gone it won’t plague me as much.
Stopping at 14:27 to add, his door was locked and his parents had to know this! They waited like 2 days before they broke into his bedroom door to check out his room!!!
Macon went to an LDS church. After high school they typically leave on a mission away from home. They spend quite a bit of time preparing for this mission in the year before. That would have been at the time he disappeared. Can you imagine the fear you would have of leaving home, knocking on people’s doors, rejection and doing this with a problem with his speech and social anxiety?
To Macin I like anime too. It's an awesome, hilarious and often really hard hitting type of entertainment. Obviously I don't completely understand whatever it is you were going through when you left, but I have my own problems and I can relate to you that much. You are not alone, you have people that love you, you have people that care about and value you and you don't need to feel otherwise. You are so loved, look at all your family is doing to get you back. I hope that wherever you are you're safe and alive and I hope you go home soon. You are loved by so many people. Don't feel like you're alone, don't feel like no one cares. xx
When I had severe mental health problems, my mum took my phone away during school nights at 10pm, and as someone who spoke to people constantly to ensure I was distracted and safe but not having my phone it genuinely caused extreme bouts of depression and mental breakdowns usually leading to self harm, so I could understand why masin would have gotten upset and left ://
People only lack confidence in environments they dont like. Believe me even the shy most socially awkward people are extroverts when with friends isn’t a comfortable place.
Danelle Hallan im hoping he just felt free and comfortable enough to go join a homeless community. I mean lots of anime center around this plot. A young misunderstood teen who different from mainstream society and makes friends with unlikely characters. Maybe that’s what he wanted.
I disagree. Self confidence is especially impacted when they REALLY like someone. For example, a first date, a job interview, in a group of people you really like, and who like you. Even being in love, and loved back can cause performance anxiety in situations where there is actually something at stake.
Benji I appreciate the kindness of your original comment and so I hope you read this in the same kindness, but i very much disagree with you. I'm a very confident and happy person, I am a good speaker, and I get along well with others. I have social anxiety, and on that case I do agree with you to an extent. That anxiety will mostly go away for me in the right group. But even with people I love and who love me, I get anxiety if I'm with more than one person. But an introvert is an introvert. An extrovert is an extrovert. As an introvert I have often found myself saying that I think everyone would be an introvert if they were comfortable with themselves, because they wouldn't need other people to distract them or hide behind. In time, I have come to the conclusion that this is not so. An introvert feels refreshed by being alone. And extrovert feels refreshed being with others. When you fit into one of these categories it can be hard to understand how anyone could possibly fit into the other. I can hardly wrap my brain around the idea of people being refreshed after spending time with others. I love people and I'm very confident in who I am as a person. But I will always be an introvert, because it's how my batteries recharge. I hope that makes some sens 😁
This story hits very close to home for me. My husband was born and raised in California by very strict Mormon parents. They never seen eye to eye with him and his dad always gave him a hard time about his video games etc. My husband actually ran away to live in another state, and didn’t tell his parents where he went or why he left. He just slept in his car and got a part time job to keep himself fed. He just wanted some independence and have the freedom to figure out who he was because his family wasn’t giving him the freedom he so desperately needed. He eventually went back home and things got worse with his dad. Him and I met on World Of Warcraft, and would Skype all day and night. I would hear his dad scream at him and scold him about this choices he was making. And would call over missionaries to ambush him in the middle of us talking to each other. We met in person eventually and moved in together, and now we’re happily married. But I’m afraid that if we hadn’t met and made a life together. He could have ended up exactly like Mason. There were times that he cried over the phone with me and told me how alone he felt. Even surrounded by his family. His depression was deep. We live in Utah together and we don’t follow the LDS religion, but I see kids all the time in Mason’s shoes. Being forced to live a certain way, having the only joy in life snatched away from them. Even if it is “just anime” or “just World of Warcraft”. That could be the only joy they have to hang on to. The only thing keeping them from making the decision to take their own life. Thank you for sharing this story.
Macin might have had online friends tho that no one knew about.. I have made a couple of very great friends that none of my family or even irl friends knows about over the internet. As someone who suffers from social anxiety it is easier to make friends over the internet, maybe he found someone in the anime community. If one of those friends helped him for one reason or another to get away, it's very much possible that he ran away and is still alive, somewhere out there living another life.
I live in Northern California. there’s a huge homeless population here. There’s encampments under highways and along the rivers. I’ll keep his face in mind. We aren’t a far trek Salt Lake City. Hope he is found very soon...
I love this video, but I would like to add something that you left out, or didn't know. I grew up with the Smith family, I knew Macin personally. I am best friends with one of his older sisters, so I was at their house all the time. They did not live in Canada for very long. They actually grew up in Utah. They lived in Canada for only 2-3 years. Then they moved back. This information doesn't change much about the video, I just thought I'd add. Also, I dont want anyone thinking Darren (the father) was super strict and a bad dad. He is the best man and dad that I have ever met. I know there were some speculations that he had something to do with the disappearance. That is 100% wrong, with all my heart I know that both the parents are great people, and would do anything for their family. Thank you so much for the video. It was pretty accurate. Thank you for showing him and his family respect.
It’s not hard for a man to put on a great front outside of his home. Or in front of outsiders in his home. Men do it all the time. Men you think are so wonderful are actually horrible behind closed doors. I experienced it with my father and my husband. I’ve seen it in numerous situations as a bondsman. And let’s not forget the news stories that have neighbors saying about another neighbor ‘He wouldn’t have hurt a fly’, after they kill someone or rape someone.
@@patstone3259 As someone with a narcissistic and abusive mother (and who is about to be a father) i find it a bit odd that you'd say "men" as though it's restricted to one gender. Anyone can be a piece of shit, dude, and I'm also not sure how your experience with your husband and father have anything to do with this situation. And where are you getting the thing about rapists? While rape is predominantly perpetrated by men, this case has nothing to do with horrendous acts like that. The conclusions you are drawing don't make any logical sense. I'm sorry about what happened with your dad and husband, but I don't think we should assume anything about ppl we don't know based on our personal biases. All we know about this guy is that he might have been a bit stricter than his wife. That's it. He did nothing to deserve what you said in this comment. Also, I will admit that I find it a tad bit insulting that you seem to assume that all men should be treated with suspicion because they might secretly be monsters. I feel like that's trauma distorting your perception of the world, honestly, which is understandable. However, it's not an accurate perception of how things really are on a larger scale. There are many things wrong with most men, but those things are things like implicit sexism for the most part, or subtly misogynistic behaviors. I can assure you that the majority of men do not rape, kill, or abuse ppl behind closed doors. You're also forgetting that studies estimate that approximately 10 to 25 percent of men have experienced domestic violence victimization, and that anywhere from 20 to 40 percent of DV victims are male. And we know those are conservative estimates because it's an issue widely disregarded by authorities and society at large. I don't know your gender, but regardless, you seem to have a trauma-based aversion to men as a result of what you went through and I think you need to be careful about what you say because the family could see these comments.
Seventy F. I agree with everything you said, I’m just wanting to clarify what she meant regarding her rape/murder comment: she said it’s not uncommon for neighbors and friends of rapists/murders to say that they were good people and/or “wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She made that comment in regards to the OP who says there’s no way Macin’s family had anything to do with his disappearance. It’s clear this woman has a personal vendetta against men, imo, and I don’t believe his parents had anything to do with it.
People have gone off on the dad making him go to sleep. Nothing wrong with that. Sleep deprivation causes more problems if he were depressed. It's good parenting to make sure their kids get sleep on school nights. What do you think happened with Macin that day?
I’ve been at my lowest before. It literally drives you crazy. I remember sitting in my driveway and looking over at the street. I remember thinking, “it’s right there. I could end it all right now “. It’s a terrible feeling knowing that you’re that upset and messed up to want to end your life. It’s never happened again but I’ll never forget that feeling
or he just wanted to start a new life and didn't want to take anything with him that would remind him of his old life ,because of what he was going through it might of been too traumatizing for him.
Oh Danelle, I feel for you, cause I understand. I had post partum with all 3 of my boys. One of them it was really bad, I was so lost. I don't want to say too much on here, but know you are not alone. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here. I know you get a lot of people that come on here, but know we are here for you. For a long time I turned to heroin, it was the only way I knew how to cope. I have 3 years off of it, it has been very hard, and I struggle today, but today I get to make better choices, and let someone know when I am feeling like I can't take it anymore. I am only half way through this video, but I do hope theere is some peace with his family. I have 3 boys and I could not even fathom not knowing what happen to my child. I am so proud of you! You are such a beautiful woman, and I can tell you have a genuine soul. We LOVE and adore you. You will always have my support.
oh my god the part about how they had cake and balloons for him on his 18th birthday just destroyed me. i can never even begin to imagine what they have to go through on a daily basis. thank you so much for sharing his story and keeping him alive.
Being LDS this makes it even more interesting. A lot of youth run away or try to leave within the Mormon community as it is highly restrictive and emotionally taxing. I myself left Utah because of the suffocating culture. If Macin was LBGTQ (could even be a part in the letter) that would only compile on the desire to start over somewhere new. LBGTQ youth suicide is the highest in the nation in Utah. Not just LBGTQ though, suicide/depression within Utah and youth is staggering so he didn't need to be a part of the community in order to want to leave. It's important to know that the LDS church is SO organized and SO demanding. As a youth you are participating in the church for at least 1 hour or more every day of the week except for Saturday. That's not a joke. They also control what media you consume, what you cannot dress, cannot eat, so hearing that Macin wanted a carefree life I could see him wanting to get out. And knowing how dear the faith is to family and how strong the church is in Utah I could see the desire to "escape". My only hope is that he has found a safe place for himself to thrive but I hope if he did, that he could at least give his family peace of mind. I don't know the family but it seems they care about him.
@@dznailz Even his mother mentioned that she had rumors of Masin being gay; and she insisted that she didn't care. I'm just wondering about the father since the "gay thing" may've been included in his letter.
@@vwgolf6487 I'm thinking the father was probably verbally abusive and that's why he struggled so much, internally. It's really sad, that LDS members are so strict against their kids. I really hope he has found peace and unconditional love 🙏❤️
I'm a social worker who tried EVERYTHING to get help with severe PPD- did not want to hurt my baby but I definitely wanted to die myself for nine whole months after she was born, and I was told I was too smart to have postpartum. Not only is that ridiculous and I'm ashamed that peers as well as doctors actually came to that conclusion, once I finally did get help 10 months after she was born, I needed that help and those support groups and medications for another year. I find it very hard to talk about, it is the blackest place that exists in my memories, but I have made it a personal mission to bring attention to the suffering of women struggling with shame and stigma surrounding postpartum depression. I just want them to know that even though they feel completely alone, they are not alone.
He seems so sweet and is so handsome, he looks so much like my boyfriend so I feel even more connected to and saddened by this case. My heart broke when you were sharing your story, that was so brave. I'm sure it will help so many people and I love how hard you try to help!! I hope he is found safe and sound and able to return to his family and have a better life
I can relate to him so much.... do you ever wish you knew someone and could go back in time to help them? That’s how I feel about this case. I pray that someday he comes home.
It’d be hard to come back. It’d be so overwhelming knowing how big is disappearance was. The scrutiny a kid that might have running away would go through would bee excessive. Itd be a media blitz if he showed up home today it could be so hard to deal with. He’d face a lot coming back. If I can leave a comment here that would help someone: Mason, it’s ok that you left. It’s ok if you go back. I care about how you feel not what you’ve done.
Thank you for being vulnerable with us, Danelle. If Macin is reading this, just know that it may not seem like it right now, but things will get better. I remember having both my anxiety and depression triggered tenfold, when I couldn't afford to go to college a few years ago. I wanted to run away and become a recluse. There was a point when I wamted to hurt myself and that's when I had to tell my family how I was feeling and got help. Macin, your feelings are valid and you can get help for the dark times, I promise.
You explained the depression that I have felt so good in your situation I never was able to explain how I feel in words. I get depression on and off a lot but I push myself so hard to get these things off my mind thank you
Skylar Verica The way she explained it was in a way I couldn't pit into words but was so relatable. Love her. Sending love and support to you as well xxxxxxx
Mental illness is not a joke, unfortunately people who have not directly or indirectly dealt with it will never understand it. Hey Macin, if you are watching this video and reading this comment, fellow anime fanatic here supporting you in spirit!
totally agree, people who have not dealt with it or watched a love one deal with it and seen the struggles and see that its real, can not understand...they act like it is just someone that can't handle stress or a made up thing...but its not.
@@cookingwithmama2523 you sound like people who haven't experienced mental illness themselves or through other people are all jerks to people with mental illness. That is obviously not true. You *can* understand it to a certain point, even if you've never experienced it.
@@Lilithly I have actually I had a nephew commit suicide because of it and I myself have had bad depression/anxiety that I need medication to control. I have been there wondering what is wrong with me. Tried to go off meds multiple times thinking "I feel better now" try to drown it out in alchy, I was talking from my pwn feelings. People tend to treat people with depression from my perspective as just someone that can't deal with the stress, and its not. I have tried everything before finally admitting I needed outside help.
I had a problem with depression in college and three different times in a single semester I bought one way train tickets to New Orleans. I didn't know why New Orleans and I didn't even really know why I wanted to leave but I just had the most intense need to leave. All three times luckily something happened (flat tire on my bike, strep throat, and a severe allergic reaction) kept me from making it to the train station. I would be leaving behind my family, my boyfriend, and all of my friends. I had great relationships with all of them, but it never even crossed my mind that they would be hurt by me leaving. In fact, depression had convinced me that they would be relieved to have me out of their hair and that they were just putting up with me due to a perceived obligation. From the time I had the thought of needing to get out to actually hitting "buy" on the amtrak site I'd have a panic attack with my throat closing up and my body tremoring. Once the tickets were confirmed I felt so much better, luckily it didn't take actually boarding the train to relieve the panic. I know exactly what you mean when you say unless you've ever felt that need to escape you can't understand. I talked to a counselor and even she was trying to minimize my experience and telling me that I was doing it to hurt the people I loved on a subconscious level. It's been three years and my family and boyfriend still don't know about my runaway attempts. My heart hurts so much for him, your videos always impact me, but I connect with Macin so much and I'm just sobbing. When I was dealing with depression I thought what I was feeling was normal and forever, but now that my mental state is normal (give or take haha) and I know how much more life has to offer I just hope that he's out there somewhere and he's no longer struggling. I hope he's getting back on his feet and will reconnect with his family, they obviously really love him a lot.
Morgan Timm Thank you for sharing your story. I have felt the same need to escape. Matter of fact in my early 20s I moved around a lot from state to state. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on medication that I started to really feel home and safe in my environment. 💗
You are SO strong Danelle. To put yourself out there to help people understand how scary and how very real and strong depression and mental illness can be. I had my first baby boy last year and my PPD was so bad I wanted nothing more than to disappear. Leave my husband and newborn and I can’t even begin to explain why. Thank you SO much for speaking out not only for the case, or helping people understand, but to help anyone who’s been there- through it. You’re amazing as well as your content! 💖 stay strong mama.
GIIRLL, almost one hour long? YES, I'm watching it now. Thank you so much for giving us this content and for promoting the talk about these cases. Wishing you all the best!
25:05 - Yes people would "just run away" without telling their family, and no, I am sorry but it is not heartless. The fact people say it is, they should consider it a luxury they were never in a place where that was actually the healthy choice for them. Sometimes, it's between suicide, and running away without the possibility of your family coming after you. Your family can love you and "want the best for you," all by being the most toxic people in your life without realizing it. I don't think this kid is dead, I think he left to save himself. And all of these comments are selfish, telling him to "go back home because your family loves you" -- What about what HE wants, what about the love he has for himself? That's the issue with people, they are always concerned with how they are affected, they make everything about them, and dehumanize the emotions of the one's experiencing them. All that person wants is to be understood, they are far past caring what *you* want. Why don't we try listening and understanding people, and letting them be free? I hope he has found the peace he was looking for.
18 isn't a child. A child can be abused and want to be free. Welcome to reality. When I was 14 my mom said she'd put me down like a dog if it was legal then pretended to care and Be a victim when I tried to off myself. Lmao welcome to reality. Some "families" are shitty, and being a child or not, no one should be abused. PERIOD.
Interesting perspective. This actually helps me to feel less hurt when people leave my life or disappear without warning. You’re right. We are always concerned with how the behavior affected us, when in reality we just don’t know what another person is struggling with.
As someone who suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts I get Macin. I've thought of running and starting a new life. I have been on the edge of suicide. Anti depressants have helped me a lot. Some made me crazy and panic.
The fact that Macin took nothing with him really alarms me. I think he may have committed suicide. One is only left to speculate. This story is so sad. Macin if you are still out there PLEASE know you are NOT alone. Your family loves and misses you. (Did the police investigate his dad? Could his father been behind this? I doubt it. But just crazy to disappear without a trace!) Danielle, THANK you for opening up and sharing your story about post partum depression.
Just wanna point out several thoughts I have on this 1) deleted browser history-this was right before he got caught with the computer that night...17 year old boy with a deleted browser history to me indicates he was probably looking up porn. Nothing surprising in a boy his age. 2) homeless camps-the homeless often look after their own. If he was found wandering by a good hearted denizen of the street, he could have been taken in without having to approach a camp himself. Many people run away from old lives and many don't ask for background stories. He probably isn't going by his real name anyway. Also, many homeless people are quiet and keep to themselves so his shyness would not have been out of the ordinary 3) letter-unless his letter specifically stated his intent to kill himself, i would not classify it as a suicide letter. To me the phrase 'i'm done' seems to be an emotional disconnect-cutting the ties that connect him to his family. 4) planned escape-because he has had these thoughts before and has spoken of it to more than one person, he was probably searching on how to do it for months, if not years. This kid seems smart, he probably wouldn't use his own computer to do it. Probably used school access to the internet to flush out a practical plan. the fact that he was 'hospitalized' (read-psychiatric ward, no doubt) for his mental illness also may make him think that his remaining with his family was more of a burden to them and so he left without telling them because he didn't want them to feel obligated to help him. The only problem i have with the runaway theory is if he were sooo into anime and the internet culture, running away would cut him off from the ability to immerse himself in it.
I'm pretty sure they can go back through your internet history (even in-cognito mode) and see what you've searched, even though I agree he probably was just looking at things normal teens do. Even if he wasn't, they are most probably able to see whatever it was.
Yeah exactly. It obviously wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The only way to properly delete something off a computer is to trash the hard drive. Ie trashing the device. 🤷♀️
Ya know this reminds me of a homeless male I once saw(i live in southern California, not in east la but near the local community college) and he was just next to a large garbage container right outside of a 711. It was before Christmas day or Christmas eve(I forget) at night. He looked very depressed and he had a backpack with him. He was blonde, I don't believe he had a beard but he did have some faciall hair, his hair was definitely a bit longer, not super long just long enough to almost touch his shoulders. I'm 5 11 and he was definitely taller than me, don't know if he was 6 4 but it wouldn't surprise me. My dad told me to offer him a blanket we had in the car for good comfort, he didn't want it even though I told him it was Christmas he really didn't want it. My dad chose to put it hanging over a wall just in case he wanted it. We saw him walk away, as we drove off we saw him lying down on someone's lawn (the neighbor hood has some houses with open lawns). Through out the years we've seen plenty of homeless people in that neighborhood, but that was the first and only time we saw him. I believe it was either in 2016 or 2017. Just a thought though.
Everyone in this comment section and community is so incredibly sweet. I posted about my own postpartum depression story, after Danelle made me feel comfortable enough to share it, and was scared to death that someone would make fun of me or down me for it. But to my happy surprise, [so far] all I've gotten is support, sympathy, love, encouragement, understanding and kindness... which is such a rare thing to find on the internet nowadays. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate every single person here who continuously shows their kindness, even to random strangers sharing comments on RUclips. It's so inspiring. Makes me so proud to be apart of this little space/family on the internet. And thank you, Danelle... for being such a wonderful influence and for always reminding everyone to keep it kind and respectful. That doesn't go unnoticed. I hope everyone and their families are safe and well!
Raegan, this channel seems very supportive. I didn't suffer PPD with my daughter but the time before and after my divorce my depression was dabilatating. You feel like you are lost. Raegan, I hope you are doing well. After about 3 years I feel alive again and I'm ready to start over...take care
Also about the homeless situation in California. I live in Hollywood which is in Southern California. When you brought up about the beach bum. Some very popular area is Venice Beach / Santa Monica Pier that's where you hear about " beach bums" . They are very nice and touristy areas. In the Hollywood Strip or Walk of Fame during the day it's very touristy but at night it turns a 180 . Hollywood at night is known for their " squatters " . Lots of young people that came to Hollywood to follow a dream but ended up making the wrong decisions hang out with bad influences lots of them end up drug addicted. Also not having their support system/ family one can see how they spiral so fast. Another area which has become very infamous is Skid Road recently expanding to Downtown LA , there you are more likely to find the camps you were talking about. Sometimes they go on for blocks . You see everything there homelessness , drug addiction, prostitution and many people with mental health disorders. I look into posting flyer in this areas. Thanks for sharing.
I was thinking Venice Beach and Hollywood as well. Venice Beach is easier to survive in the sense that there's a bit of a community there, with a large transient populations. Not too hard to make friends in that area, even if you're super shy. I know this from personal experience and having formerly lived a homeless/transient lifestyle. It's not that hard to do, especially with the right people. Culturally, if he was in to Anime I would say Venice Beach is also a better bet than the streets of Hollywood.
Sonia L. Thank you Sonia for your comments as someone who has first hand experience with the homeless encampments, and the reality that they are not all peace, love, and good vibes, but very dangerous places, especially for a sheltered, naive young man.
Postpartum depression (or just depression in general, as well as any other mental illnesses) is so debilitating to live with and try to overcome. I had it after my daughter was born. I just completely stopped taking care of myself and solely focused on taking care of her, plus I was always breastfeeding anyway so it was too easy to fall into that pit and stop giving a fuck about myself. I didn't do *anything* but focus on her... (and please, whoever reads this next part, please don't make fun of me for what I did or how I felt; it's terrifying enough just talking about this and being vulnerable to anyone on the internet who sees this) I barely ate or slept, would hardly shower once a week, couldn't go out where I knew there'd be people or crowds, started experiencing overwhelming anxiety, couldn't motivate myself to get up and get dressed or put some makeup on to feel pretty, nothing. I even stopped brushing my hair. I just had it in a messy topknot all the time, and my hair is super thick and curly so eventually it started to tangle, to the point where my entire bun was in a huge dreadlock... and I had to have my husband shave my head... which made me feel so much worse about myself. I can't even describe how depressed I was during the time it took for my hair to start growing back. It was literally crippling. And after shaving all my hair off, like I said, that only worsened my postpartum depression and my husband really started to get worried after he noticed how different I was after that so he was finally able to encourage me enough to go with me and talk to someone, and thank god I did. Although I'm still not 100% "better" four years later, I'm 100× better than I was then; (my anxiety never went away so I deal with that on the daily now and have terrible social anxiety as well) but my point is, depression is no joke and it almost completely changed me and practically took over my life for the better part of two years. All I want to say is thank you for sharing your story with us, Danelle. You made me feel comfortable enough to open up and share mine. I hope and pray Macin is somewhere out there, happy and safe. Maybe one day he'll feel it's safe to go back home to everyone who loves and misses him so.
Lilith Nox I'm touched that no one started to make fun of me for essentially "letting myself go" for that long. Thank you so very much for being so incredibly sweet. I truly appreciate your kindness💋
I just feel so bad for you. After all, we still don't really truly know why these postpartum hormonal shifts affect some women so badly and others not really at all. You have clearly been through hell and have been so brave. :(
lynncrf You're so kind, thank you so much for just being polite. That in itself means so much. I'm touched that [so far] no one has judged me for this, bc I was scared shitless after I posted my comment. Internet bullies/trolls just seem to pop up sometimes, even in the best spaces, such as Danelle's comment section. But thankfully I haven't had a bad encounter yet. I truly appreciate your comment. Thank you (and anyone else who's been supportive in this thread) for being a kind, compassionate, encouraging, sympathetic, understanding human being❤💁
I really respect how you put yourself out there in this video. There is such a stigma against mental illness/suicide, and you are using your platform to help so many people. Mason if you are out there, so many people have felt like you. Not exactly like you, as everyone has their own experience, but so many of us have felt lost and alone. I hope that you are out there and are safe
The BABY BOOMER generation may be hard workers, older...'wiser'... but they are HORRIBLE Parents. TERRIBLE. I've ALWAYS thought this, even as a Very Young child. They are off...WAY WAY OFF in terms of Millennial minds, and how to inspire sustenance and substance.
D msw you have to consider how much the world has changed for those parents. They've kind of been left behind by rapid change and they struggle to cope and understand how things work now compared to in their youth. The way people act and behave has changed so much in the last two generations, and even in-betweeners have trouble really identifying with the millennial view because it is all different from what they have seen their entire lives. This is simply an issue of societal evolution. The world changes and people either are able to embrace it or they struggle and get left behind. This happens every couple of generations, really. The world is constantly changing and change is hard for people. Every vegetation honestly believes that their parents are terrible and don't understand the world. It's part of the human condition and growing up.
Although you aren’t wrong and I don’t disagree with you and I also see how much the world is different for millennials and gen Z, please keep in mind his parents I would imagine feel terrible enough and could potentially read this. Danielle was trusting us to be sensitive and someone who isn’t a millennial or a gen z might not fully understand where you are coming from and what your trying to say and it could easily be his parents that are one of them. I kindly request that you consider rewording your comment.
I'm laughing at vegetation lol but YESSSSS I agree with you! My girls are in their mid 20's now but the method in which I was raised did not always work for my girls. My youngest, it was a total backfire. Although everything I did I felt was the absolute best thing for them, now that I myself am older I realize some things were not that important to their future selves. It's really hard being a parent. You have so much love for your children and it's a BIG job raising another human being!
It's even worse when there's a HUGE gap between the parents and the kid. My dad is a baby boomer (born in 1946) and I was born in 1996. I love my dad to death but it is so hard sometimes to even talk to him when we're on completely different wavelengths due to our age gap. But I do agree with what someone else said, that it's up to us too to be understanding. The changing times are just as confusing for them as it is for us.
This young man sounds exactly like me. I'm so scared to drive. My parents pushed me to drive, and I would cry the whole time driving with my dad, because he would yell. I have social anxiety as well. I would rather sit in my room, and watch youtube, and netflix, than go hang out with friends. This hits way to close to home
It is like you speak my language. I had to pull over on the highway during my driving practice at school because I was hysterical and hyperventilating. Add my dad that would yell at me as well and I GET YOU. So many people experience the same things he did and I hope if he is out there he sees he isn't alone❤️
I have anxiety driving as well. I'm 31 and moved from Michigan to Pennsylvania in 2013, but still don't have my PA drive's license. I know I need to get it one of these days, but I'm such a nervous driver, especially on freeways, in the evening, snow, and rain. If I drive more than 30 minutes, I get bad anxiety; shaking, gripping the wheel, I've even got teary eyed. One time, I got so anxious while on the freeway, I had to pull over onto the shoulder for about 20-30 minutes until I calmed down. My mother chastised me about pulling over on the freeway, but I told her I didn't understand how driving 65+ mph in a state of hysterical shaking and crying was a safer option. I got lost on the freeway, twice, trying to get home and it took an hour for me to get home, and I cried the whole time. Last January I was thinking about getting my license again, but my husband and I were in a car accident. He was driving, but stopped behind a bus that just randomly pulled out in front of us. As he stopped, a truck rear ended us, totally our car. To this day, I get anxious when we get close to a bus and won't let my husband go around it unless we're on a two lane road or the bus literally just stopped to let on passengers. I know I need to get a license, but I'm still a bit traumatized from that accident. I've gotten a little better at handling my anxiety, but still, the thought of driving again terrifies me. I like to tell myself if Jessica Fletcher and Miss Marple didn't have to drive, I shouldn't have to either.
I know this is years old now, but I have to say thank you Danielle for being so open. I've been dealing with psychotic depression for 6 years & still trying to take each day at a time. I'm so sorry Macin hasn't been found & my heart goes pit to his family & friends. Mental illness needs to be talked about more openly with less stigma. People who don't understand need to educate themselves in order to try to be more open minded. XX 💙
Before I address the heavier things of this video, I want to give you something extra nice. I am loving your new editing style. I love the added clips and stock footage. I know it's probably extra work but I think it definitely pays off. And now I'll say I'm sending you hugs across the interwebs. I've never had postpartum, but I do have clinical depression and severe anxiety. I've been in-patient for passive suicidal ideation where I just stopped caring about taking care of myself. I understand exactly what you mean. I've been there and it's the scariest thing. You aren't yourself but you're hearing these thoughts that your mental illness is feeding you and you believe them. I think it's why brain-washing and cults scare the living crap out of me. My mind has already been its own prisoner; I can't imagine giving a twisted human being that sort of power. Your passion is as evident as always. I think it's safe to say you've found your purpose in life. You truly care. I always look forward to your videos despite the tragedy that might come with them. You keep them alive. Again, more hugs and I can't wait for the next video.
Mary-Allyn F you’re not alone either In case no one has told you lately. Depression can run so deep even a simple shower can deplete every ounce of energy you had for the day. Even the cleanest people who get depressed are susceptible to this so it can happen to anyone. #;
I dont know how I feel about your comment. Yes we love Danelle, but to hands up and big smiley about 20 more mins of someone's tragedy? I can barely like the video just because its contradictory. Like just blatant YAYs with this subject matter, help me understand.
Alexandra Ramsburg you’re deeping it. my comment has nothing to do with the case or the victims or anything like that. stop trying to twist it into something it’s not
What if he met up with a friend he met online or through gaming? Thats my first thought when people mention him running away. Not that he just left with no plan & no money. :( So sad.
Off topic, i was changing my 8 month old son with this video in the background and he grabbed my phone and he began to kiss the phone, attempting to kiss you (ive been watching your videos for over a year and he can recognize the voice) i just thought it was cute. Amazing video by the way, its truely eye opening to why people may be considering running away. Thinking about what you say about cases help ease the pain for family members. To macins family, i am so sorry that this has happened, i hope you get closure. With love from Chloe and Colby-James
@@lance6961 yikes boi not true every child is different my daughter been hugging and kissing us and will try to kiss the phone since 6 months old ... So leave her alone not every child is the same
Danelle Hallan, I have taken the liberty of suggesting Macin contacts you. I hope you will forgive me for this. I am concerned that the resultant publicity in him returning home, or even just getting in touch, may cause him dreadful anxiety. You obviously really empathise with him, so I feel confident you could and would help him negotiate a way/ways to come forward, if he contacts you. As I said, please forgive me for nominating you without first asking your permission.
This is why I let my child take mental days from school, where if she is feeling too overwhelmed she can stay home and sleep, not multiple days, but one day here or there.
Ive started the same now that she's in 7th grade. And I don't hide it or lie about it. The school knows. And with work being online its not a huge deal. But it's something I will allow her to do until she graduates. She is already on antidepressants and i am also. There's so many factors working against her already that as her mom I have to do everything possible to make sure she's ok mentally and can come to me no matter what.
I have to point out something that people never seem to consider. This was obviously planned out, he knew if they found his wallet and it was missing money, they would assume he was alive (assuming he is and this was planned) who is to say, he hasnt just saved money and put it on a gift card, you dont need id, and the money is instant, also idk if you can buy a bus ticket in advance but i know you could have credit etc....there ARE ways to avoid being detection, nm whos to say he wasn't in a chat room, and had been planning this with someone else, the headache just an extra part. Idk....just how my brain works....I have social anxiety and tend to overcompensate, so a lot of people think I'm outgoing, but im just hiding my nervousness. Who knows what has happened but I hope he is ok💜💜💜
My dad did this. He was a fisherman and got a job to go on a 3 month fishing trip to Alaska and I remember saying goodbye to him (I was 4) and no one heard from him again. He left his mom and sister and 4 children behind, me being the youngest. 15 years later (this past October) his mom (my grandma) finally found him by getting his story seen by the right person on Facebook. Turns out he never even went to Alaska, he was on his way and out of nowhere decided to go to California instead. He said he was lost and didn’t know who he was or what he was doing and needed to find himself. I was the only person in my family who was never mad at him because if he was unhappy why would I want to grow up with a miserable father who resented me and my siblings and his life? Wish he would have paid child support tho lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Seriously, Danelle, you are the BEST missing person/mystery RUclipsr. Thank you for having the heart to share something so personal in order to better relate to this poor boy and to all of us. I have never actually wanted to kill myself, but I have been in a bad place a few times during pivotal & heartbreaking moments of my life, and I understand this depression. While you want someone to understand, it feels like nobody does regardless of how much they sympathize and put an arm around you. I can think of times when I would just sit and tears would just keep running hot down my face and I didn’t know how to make it stop. The pain of hopelessness is destroying. I hope he is found; I hope he is out there and can see how many people DO know what managing these sorts of emotions can do to a person, how the weight of doing so can be suffocating - but that it is possible with the right support system. And I hope he can see that he isn’t alone. Although it’s still not where it should be, I’m grateful that mental health awareness is starting to finally become a thing.
I’m so glad you did this video for Macin! I live in Salt Lake City Utah and I’ve been following the story and his FB page since the month he went missing. Reading his mom’s daily posts on the FB page has been so incredibly sad yet eye opening. I have a teenage son and when I try to put myself in her shoes I just feel so helpless. My heart really goes out to her and I just really hope for her and the entire family to get some answers, closure and peace ver soon. You are doing amazing work with these videos and bringing awareness to these cases. I appreciate you sharing your story and experiences as well.
I'm in Orem, with family in St. George. I was downtown in SLC at a doctor's appointment the first time I saw a billboard with Macin's case. I started crying on the spot. I just hope and pray somehow his family someday gets answers. His poor mom.
I have so much respect for you telling your story here, I'm having a similar experience and feel like I can't talk to people about it and you have made me feel so much less alone
A girl I went to school with had an older sister who’s story is very similar to this one. Her sister was struggling with gender dysphoria and depression and talked about just walking out into the woods and waiting to die. She actually was in a mental health hospital getting treatment when she checked out AMA and went into the Woods. She was later found but ultimately lost her battle to suicide about a month later. In this case, I think Macin did the same thing. The phrase I’m done and the emotions of the letter makes me think that this is what happened
I very rarely comment on videos but I felt so compelled to say this. Your personal experience hit me so hard. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life and I also experienced postpartum depression with both of my children. You’re so brave and strong for standing up for those who can no longer stand up for themselves. This video is one of the many reasons why I love your channel and your videos. ❤️
I have a cousin who ran away 3 times. It’s frustrating and I would too say she was selfish and heartless for leaving us worried about her, I’m glad you told your story. I see it with a different perspective ❤️💔
Thanks for sharing this. Postpartum depression it's almost a taboo subject and I feel many don't talk about it publicly because it is associated with a very happy , life changing event that is having kids. My mom suffer from this in silence because she was afraid to seek help and be classified as unfit mother and have us end up in the foster system. She also didn't seek help because she felt genuinely like a bad/ broken person whom didn't deserve help . When she had me and my other siblings she said it went all normal she was happy but my youngest sister she said she felt as if she had no connection to the baby growing inside her . Can you imagine how she fell? Now in hindsight it's all fine but maybe her knowing it was even something someone can become ill from would have made her seek the help she needed at the time .
I've been alive for a decade and a half and I understand that feeling of hope when you feel like things are going to get better, I have mild depression and major anxiety due to an issue with my body I've had since I was born. It's small and people don't think it's that damaging... hell things related to it are a huge joke on social media... I don't enjoy those because of what I've gone through, I was made fun of for it and some kids I used to go to elementary school with still make fun of me for it. I was hopeful after taking a lot of medication that I will get better. So I cut back on it. It got worst later and I was stuck in a horrible cycle, my physical and mental health was suffering because of bullying and cutting back on my medication because I was hopeful. Thanks to my mistake and those of my doctors who used to say it was a mental issue, and the people who bullied me for my issue, it will take 5 to 10 years or more to get my body back to normal, and even if it does, and even if my mental health gets better. I can't undo the past and all of these things will still haunt me... though I always remind myself that I will get better, even if it might take a long time. Why am I sharing this you might ask? Well... I want to let people know that things will get better, even if it's hard now and it takes a long time, it will get better, please. If you are suffering from any kind of mental health/illness issues, talk to someone, get some help. Let's not have any more heartbreaking cases like this one, my heart goes out to Macin's family. Let's help bring him home and if needed, give him the proper burial he deserves... ~Rose
Danelle this has been by FAR my favorite case you’ve done. You shared your heart, opened up your soul and stood for what you feel is right no matter the consequences. I deeply respect this! This case hit home for me as well for MANY MANY MANY personal reasons and I too feel NO ONE EVER has the right to judge another when it comes to mental health especially!!! We don’t know what they suffer with! I have chronic depression and have since childhood not knowing it until I turned 30 after going through mass therapy and a horrendous breakdown. I have PTSD (have been diagnosed by multiple therapists in different states) from hardships growing up to sexual abuse as a teenager. I get pretty messed up in the head!!! I know all too well what it’s like to go so crazy inside your head that your thoughts & feelings are physically suffocating you! I battle with suicide and have since childhood. I honestly thought that was a normal thing- to loathe yourself! To feel so distorted compared to others- NEVER ENOUGH is my main struggle. Even years down the road being a mother of 5 I thought maybe I’d get passed the instability but the reality is it can switch it on with the simplest little TRIGGER. No one understands this mentality until they’ve lived it themselves! My heart aches for this young man. I too had a speech impediment growing up and got teased all the time and bullied for that and for my last name. I still have issues to this day even after over 17 yrs of marriage and the intense anxiety it brings up when ppl talk about my maiden name. Kids are so so cruel!!! I don’t really know what to think about this other than I do wonder if he wrote that letter just to get his feelings off his chest cause it is very therapeutic to do so. Also that maybe he did plan on taking a break from school that day and maybe on his way back home he became suffocated with his thoughts and feelings that connected to living at home and decided enough was enough and just left? This would explain leaving his wallet, etc. He wasn’t planning on leaving for good but ended up doing it. I hope he didn’t commit suicide but sadly yes it is an option although I feel they would’ve found him with being so tall. He could be walking far distances and staying off any grid for all we know. He wouldn’t have to hitchhike necessarily. Also does anyone know for sure he didn’t have cash on him? You don’t need your walled to carry cash in your pocket. Just my thoughts.
Sarah Swanger He left with no wallet, no money, (he had no job,etc) no phone, no jacket, without his backpack, he's in shirtsleeves, walking great distances off the grid?
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I'm still in the process of watching but I'm already very moved and appreciative that you're giving this case the attention it needs. We need to end bullying and treat each other with love and compassion.
You have such a big heart Danelle and I really appreciate you telling your story. I know its hard, but you sharing has the potential to help others and thats really beautiful. Thank you for shedding light on mental illness because it really is so important.
Thank you for sharing. Damn right. Nothing infuriates me more than people thinking they know how someone will feel, behave or how deeply even the smallest things can affect people when they are already in a dark state of mind. People think they know it all. Like you said, unless you’ve felt it you can never ever know how horrible it really feels and you can’t say you wouldn’t do this or you wouldn’t do that. It’s not you’re rational mind doing the thinking. You’re just trying to not hurt anymore, to escape the cage you’re trapped in. No one is worse off than anyone else. It just affects different people in different ways and some are more skilled at concealing it than others.
I live in California and we have so many homeless camps and the sad thing is police are constantly running them out and is always bothering the people living in them.
Kaylee Giles Too true my mother was living among them for a long time it’s sad how much the cops would harass them when they’re just trying to sleep our eat, so sad it breaks my heart.
Morgan M I know! Just leave them alone they don’t have anywhere to go. And if they aren’t making trouble let them be!! Cops needs to focus on these child molesters and rapist not homeless people sleeping.
I have a feeling in my gut at the end when you said there was a high probability of him commiting suicide.. I just know he’s out there. I don’t think he’s passed yet. Gosh now I’m crying too... he reminds me of my cousin
Hey guys! My past few videos have been a bit foggy! I am having more camera issues but they will be fixed by the next video! Thank you for being amazing!! Let's spread some LOVE in the comment section!
I’m so proud of you baby! I love you so much you’re fucking killing it
d mc I try she knows I’m her biggest fan!
You're the best and i love your honesty and personal touch 😘 keep going beautiful
Danelle Hallan I have so much respect for you, thank you for sharing you personal story. I've been in a similar situation that I have never voiced out loud because I just simply can't, I understand how hard that was for not only to say it out loud but to say it out loud to say it out loud to thousands of people. Thank you, I have nothing but love and respect for you. ❤️
Danelle Hallan thank you for sharing danelle we love you and I can’t say that has been me but I can relate because my brother is going through something similar 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing my boy's story Danelle. We are so grateful for your time and talents and addressing bullying/mental illness. Huge hugs to you. We miss him every minute of every day.
❤️
Tracey K Smith Sending you hugs from Australia.
Thank you Ryder from down under
Tracey K Smith -Sending ❤ to you.
Thank you so much
Totally understand. People who haven’t been depressed can’t get it.
Fear Tube So true!
Hasn't everybody been depressed?
Wishin I'mFishin There’s a difference between sadness and depression. For example say someone gets turned down for a job, one person may want to go out and have a drink because it’s upsetting and they’ll be down for a few days but they move on. Someone with depression gets turned down for a job and maybe in their head their brain is saying “Of course you didn’t get the job because you’re worthless, unintelligent, stupid. Why did you even think you could do it?” and if they try to talk to someone about how they’re feeling they’re brain may say “Don’t bother them with your problems, they don’t care, you’ll just annoy them.” Which can lead to “why are you even on this earth, you’re not contributing. Why not end it? No one will care if you’re gone.”
Large difference imo.
Pretty sure everyone's been there, it's just a matter of how you deal with it in the long-run. Just because a situation may be unique, doesn't mean their level of grief is (although, in a few rare and select cases, it may). It's just a part of life, and something we all have to deal with at one point or another.
#truth
It wasn't about anime. It was about his escape. If he was concealing his depression all day long, it was probably exhausting, so being up at night escaping through his anime gave him time to reload. When that was taken away, he probably felt hopeless in his own mind. The one thing he had to cope was gone. No one should make fun of that.
Agreed. I use anime and video games to escape tbh and I'm an adult lol
Exactly. I feel this on a personal level.
Absolutely. 100%.
Yep, you are RIGHT!!! That is what I do with TV & youtube. Take that away & things are very different. I'm not BLAMING his parents but I feel like treating him like he's 6 when he's 18 isn't a very beneficial way of parenting! In such a short time, he'd be free to do what he wants. If he's making those decisions to stay up all night at age 18 taking away his devices, it just felt like a very wrong way to parent, especially since he did have some developmental issues. I guess most parents parent the way they feel is right it just didn't feel right to me.
My boyfriend watches a lot of anime too. It’s his escape
My trigger once was a package of cream cheese.
I came home after a crappy day, looking forward to baking up a magnificent dessert, as it was a hobby that let me relax, feel productive and capable.
The recipe required a box of cream cheese, that I specifically told my (albeit abusive) ex NOT to use. He used it and told me he did it because "it wasn't actually important, didn't matter" and ignored me.
I just got up and left. As Danelle said, I wasn't going anywhere. I was just GOING. I wanted to be GONE. No keys, no purse. Just me.
That makes sense. You were in a horrible relationship. Hope you are free and happy now. ::)
Mine was a piece of stake flying off my plate and landing on the floor while cutting it up. Looking back it was ridiculous tho be so upset about steak but it wasn't the stake it was so much more, it was the tipping point
This may be a stretch, but I work in Southern California as an EMT and I have run calls in and around homeless camps, the next time that I do, I will make sure to ask them if they, or know of anyone who does, might know Macin, I'll show his picture and give a quick description. Homeless camps are popular out here.
Please do!!! That would absolutely amazing! Thank you!
Kimberly Ann Hell yes girl!
Any updates about this comment?
Yes, you never know what might end up solving the mystery!
If hes close with the people hes staying with. He most likely is going by a different name,appearance and probably told people to not reveal anything about his whereabouts. He ran away. What dont you people get. He doesn't want to be found .
This hit me right in the heart. I'm crying! It's clear that you truly care about the missing people you talk about in your videos. You have a way of humanizing their stories and making it personal. You are doing a great thing in making sure that these missing people are never forgotten!
Julie McLean diddo
Julie McLean
I agree. Danelle is truly sincere. She gives a much-needed voice to the missing and the victims of unsolved murders.
Agreed! Danelle and John Lordan convey genuine care and compassion for the victims and their families in their videos, regardless of what their background may or may not be. Every person deserves to be treated with respect and dignity.
So true she doesn't just tell these stories but she feels for them and it makes it so much more realatabe that's why she's my fave ☺
Julie McLean she isn’t the only person doing this, not saying she isn’t doing a good thing and a more relaxed than some others lol! Have you heard of shauna Rae?
Macin, honey. If you’re out there & if there’s any chance in the world you see this, you are absolutely 100% not alone. I’ve suffered through social anxiety & bipolar depression since I was 12. I am now 21. I believe my anxiety & depression was triggered by surviving sexual abuse for many years starting when I was 4. I won’t lie, it’s hard. Every single day is a a struggle but I’m not alone. & neither are you. Or anyone reading this comment for that matter. My mom helps get me out of bed & gets me out of the house. I don’t know what I’d do without her. But it is so worth it. My biggest dream in life is to be a mother & honestly, that’s what keeps me grounded. I’d love to be able to have kids one day & protect them like I was unable to do for myself. You are so loved Macin, & it’s okay to come home. You have thousands & thousands of people who want to see you come home & be okay. If anyone needs someone to talk to, I’m always here! We can talk & be friends! Especially you Danelle!! Thank you for sharing your story love. Stay strong everyone💕💕
Lindsey Sonnier you are not alone either #;
Lilith Nox Thank you love! You as well😘
TitusValkyrieAnubus Thank you! Nor are you☺️💕
@@lindseydiane6773 is this message for macin cuz he ain’t reading this.
I just dont understand if he committed suicide why have we not found his body... I hope he is alive and happy.
If he went into the woods, they probably wouldn't find anything.
Wtf? Is this a serious question? I don't see how anybody could be so clueless!
Not Wednesday ok not Wednesday 🤣
Sometimes people leave with nothing but their privacy. Others need to respect that !
TO MACIN: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT YOU COULD DO OR COULD HAVE DONE THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR FAMILY STOP LOVING YOU. You can ALWAYS come home. No matter how bad you think it is, it CAN AND WILL get better!!!!!!
Wishing you love, peace and positivity wherever you are. ❤❤❤
caitlin leanna ❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤❤❤❤❤
i have trouble believing a guy with social anxiety would hitch hike I have social anxiety and would rather die than get in a car with someone I don't know
I don’t even like to ride with people I do know.
I can't tell you how often during my PPD I thought "my kid would be better without me, I should just leave." We really should be more open about this stuff so other women don't feel so alone.
Oh, Jolie! I used to think the same thing after I had my daughter. It's incredibly hard and heartbreaking to feel like that.
I got off all drugs after 6 years of every single day using; yeah my son spent a month in a giant hospital, and I got the ppd and didnt even know it. I just attributed it all to missing my drugs. I was so supervised and grieving the loss of my lifestyle not even fully knowing that I was doing that I thought I lost my mind. 3 years. I took 2 trips only my sons father knew of, my mom didnt know till the noght before and till he came home without me; we live in PA and I went to FL and CO. I still have scars from 3 big falls in FL and I never fall, im catlike on my feet and broke my wrist jagged in CO and with my soft cast rolled and scarred on top of the first scar from 6 months prior in FL in another fall. In CO. I was running constantly in my mind, in my home and eventually in really life. You cant breathe all day without getting oxygen like it was insane, all while still NOT on pot in particular, that was my leveling ground where I came to terms with myself and reality in the most harmonious way and tried and got freaked which wasnt me after my son was born and these things probably had an effect but sometimes i think i didnt just brave the high like I did initially soo many years ago, I literally was not used to having a tolerance or not being able to do what I wanted when I smoked, my life fell apart in my eyes. Your videos make me love my son so much from afar when hes NOT around. Since I actually am now. Longest comment I have ever and will ever write. Never got the chance to just tell this like it is before, I like to write so as to get my thoughts in order, out and not forgotten. Cool, thanks guys if anyone actually reads this. Whole thing. Im good now. Just with a different piece in my mind. And in my heart, one could never cooperate without the other in my body. End of this now. Love to ya awwllll 😪😬😏
I suffered with PPD as well. Many times I sat and cried and thought my daughter would be better off without me. I even went so far as to attempt suicide. I hope and pray that these stories of women like us open up more and more!
I hope this young man is safe and comes home
I forgot how heavy this is. I remember when I wasn't diagnosed with my depression, PTSD, and General Anxiety Disorder, I was suicidal due to the same thing you said, I felt like a burden. I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and started to cut my wrist. I don't remember even any of this stuff happening until after, but I will never forget how I felt. I was in the process of cutting myself and then I realized that I needed help, and I wasn't okay. Thank God the cut wasn't deep at all so I called 911 crying and told them what was happening. I met them outside and I will never forget the feeling of hopelessness. When I saw my Mom, I broke down and knew I had to get help. Now I'm okay. Please don't judge people who are going through depression. It's something you cannot describe. You feel like nothing. You dissociate and you dissolve to nothing. Depression is very misunderstood. You can't just change your mind and say " you know what, I'm not gonna be depressed anymore! Yay!". People are confusing the feeling and the illness. When you are clinically depressed, you NEED help. Some need meds, and some need therpy, but don't EVER make fun of someone for being suicidal. That's ignorant and I cannot believe it's 2019 and people still think depression is a joke.
the video is about those lying parents
I'm so glad you were able to get help and are doing much better. After my oldest child was born, I developed postpartum depression and an anxiety disorder. I was extremely suicidal. Before my experience, I was ignorant and thought depression was a choice, then I had it! No one who hasn't been there can even imagine. I felt like I was totally out of control of my mind and body at all times. I took every knife and bottle of pills out of my house because I was TERRIFIED I was going to hurt myself. The suicidal thoughts were so strong that I would have to force myself to not think about it. It wasn't like this sudden decision like, "ok. I'm going to kill myself." It was a NEED a DESIRE that I felt I couldn't control. I never knew what it was until I dealt with it. I'm so much better now. That was 16 years ago, and that is still the worst year of my life. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy saved my life!
Thanks for being brave enough to share this ♡
Absolutely, the exact *wrong* thing to say with someone struggling with mental illness is, "snap out of it." It's not malicious, just ignorant, of course.. but that lack of acceptance and/or understanding can cause a lot of damage & despair.
I have a laundry list of mental health diagnoses. There is someone that I had contact with over the years who LOVES to say 'i don't know why you choose to be so unhappy. Just BE happy. Think happy. You are the one who has decided to be that way. Just stop. it's that simple'.....hahahaha. people have no idea how this works.
Very, very well explained.
thank you for raising awareness for all these cases.
Thank you for trusting us and for being vulnerable by sharing your story. It’s important that people hear these examples we’ve experienced so they can get the bigger picture.
Diddo
Macin....you’re not alone. You have tons of people who just want you to be safe. Reach out to someone...anyone
When someone is at the point of running away or taking their life, they are truly thinking about the ones they love. They really honestly believe that they are doing what is best for their loved ones. Please don’t think of it as selfish because they do not do those things for themselves. They do it because they feel it’s best for everyone else.
This is So very true. At my worst I always felt like I was the burden that was ruining everyone else’s life. I wanted to be gone to make things easier for everyone around me.
Macin, if you come across this video and just so happen to see these comments, we all want you to know that you are 100000% not alone. Your family loves you and misses you so much, there are so many people like me that know how you feel, and we need you to make the brave decision to get back home to your family. I know many other people can relate to this. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for a very long time and I understand the feeling of just wanting to up and leave it all behind. You are not alone Macin
lina elise Exactly. I love your message and I think this I something he really needs to know. He is not alone
Also, I wish more young people would reach out like you have done.
He ran away for a reason.
@@Deenique16 Something we don't exactly know happened, but hope it did.
@@Deenique16 probably yes, but this is not way to do it.
This one hit close to home. My 18 uear old son is EXACTLY like Macin. He has social anxiety, depression and has been hospitalized a couple times. He wont get his license for the same reason.He is a wonderful kid! My heart really goes out to his parents. I couldnt imagine that happening to my son, It would destroy me. We are extremely close. This one brought tears to my eyes. I pray his family can find answers and peace.❤
I literally almost starting crying when I heard about the driving anxiety bit that Macin suffers from because at 17, I’m in that exact same boat, I got bullied so my family picked up and moved cities and I also prefer to stay in and watch videos and Netflix... my mom is supportive of that, but my dad tries endlessly to pressure me to get behind the wheel which gives me panic attacks. I feel for him because it’s the worst feeling in the world when you can’t figure out why driving, one of the most normalized activities in the world, is the most gut wrenching thing... 💔
SHAYTHEGEMINI it gets better. I struggled with driving anxiety my whole life. I just got my license a year and a half ago at 27.
I felt the same at age 17. I never got my license and still don't, at nearly age 39. Granted, I live in a large city that has public transportation and I can walk to most places. But the idea of driving gives me a panic attack- I'm terrified of running over a child or killing a person.
I am the same way I’m almost 17 and just got my permit because my dad and brother bullied me into I just got so much anxiety from it, and I would overthink it, and I’m proud of how far I came and how well I’m doing and I knew I had to doniy
I'm the same way and people constantly pressure me and make me feel like a burden for needing a ride :(
I know the feeling. Try not to hold it against your dad too much. He thinks he is helping, and just doesn't understand.
This also hits me because there is a new coworker at my job who works differently and my other coworkers aren't trying to support him or make the situation better. They judge him harshly because he is different and I keep finding myself being more compassionate, because I understand that we aren't all the same. I am going to keep standing up for him, because I know how harsh people can be when they don't understand and want an easy (selfish) path to follow in life.
pool8party thank you. You are an angel 😇
We all need kindness from others. Some of us are puzzle pieces that are more irregular than others, but we all want to fit in.
God Bless you for understanding and supporting your coworker👍. You are an angel. We all need to be more aware about the people around us who are struggling. The saying,"What would Jesus do" fits this perfectly. 🙏🙏
I hate the way that some coworkers can be to others. I'm just like you. I hate seeing that happen to coworkers and am usually the one sticking up for them as well. I don't understand the whole bullying culture at all, especially against somebody who is clearly struggling at times
God bless you!
Good for you, we need more people like you in this world !
hey macin! if you're reading this right now, i want you to know that every single person that watched this video cares about you. though none of us knew you personally, we are all here for you and we all hope that you are okay. i empathize with you on such a personal level and though i don't know if i feel quite comfortable enough sharing some of these things, i do know that the only place you can go from rock bottom is up. i've been in the mental place where i felt that being 'done' is the only way out and it is a truly terrifying thing. i understand and feel so much for you and what is going on inside your head. i haven't ever felt this emotionally connected to someone who has gone missing that i didn't know (that was poorly worded but by that i mean that i have watched hundreds of missing cases as i am very interested in working in this field, and your case/situation is genuinely one of, if not the only case(s) i have ever felt so emotionally connected to). if you are reading this, as stated before, i hope that you are in a better place and that you are happy. you deserve nothing but happiness in your life. i am sending an immense amount of love your way, macin.
he's dead but better off away from rotten parents ..but they will pay Karma is real
No!
@@tobygolding1893 he died?
toby Golding . Nobody is better off what the hell is wrong with you
This made my eyes watery ❤️
I saw a documentary on this, his parents were strict Mormons, and according to the doc he was questioning the faith and his father was angry about that. I don't know how true any of it is, but in my opinion, no one should be forced to participate in religious beliefs. I know lots of parents mean well but sometimes they just suffocate their kids with their overzealousness.
i was forced into being mormon growing up. it’s super common for parents to force their children into religion especially if they live in Utah. it’s highly likely the pressure of the religion and combination of social anxiety and depression drove him out.
Buildinglifeconfidence Never knew this, but that would make sense that he wanted to just disappear then. Perhaps it wasn’t a suicide note just a “Note of intent” in the sense of he no longer wanted to be forced into Mormonism..... Adds a new theory for sure.
Religion is the root of all evil
Yeah in Utah especially the part I live in, Mormonity is very popular and very strict and a lot of high schoolers who are forced strictly mormon tend to smoke weed do drugs and commit suicide
I used to watch a show where ex members of a religion in salt lake city would help people escape, wonder if it's the same case here
He may have had other money hidden away. My little brother shocked my entire family when he was about Macin's age by buying a brand new gaming PC worth over $1000. He'd just squirreled away birthday money, Christmas money and bits of his allowance for YEARS. None of us knew he was saving like that, as he was still buying games and fast food, and all the normal things a 17 year old kid would buy. He seemed to have the spending habits of a normal teenager. Sometimes even close family don't know howuch money someone has hidden away.
anny05 i thought the same thing.. if he had plans of running away he could’ve been sneaky about bidding money aside and no one will ever know
I was thinking that too. Theres endless possibilities. Plus if he didnt want people knowing he was leaving he wouldnt have wanted anyone to know he had money
anny05
Baloney. Read my comment below.
Laura Peters
Please read below.
SM Potts I can't find your comment. You know comments doesn't stay in one place always, they change depending on popularity.
I wonder what happened to him.
I actually sat next to him in our Film class a couple times.
what was he like?
Are you sure you're not him.
@@nuttybar9 yes
@@ArcticSounds hahahaa i like the videos you posted.
Could not comment there.
..came back here.
Need a hand? ...
Hahahhaaaa! Ohhhhmygawd!
I lost it. Haven't laught like that in a while.
Thanks!
No disrespect to Original content and the story of time of Macin. 💜
@@SpinningSage lol thanks man
Hey Mac! If you ever read this, I understand you so much. I'm not very social myself either, humans suck sometimes, well most of the time. I moved from my comfort place too a year after graduating high school and had to adjust to everything in a whole new country where EVERYONE is so social and happy and I was so terrified and freaked out by this that I almost didn't go through with my plans to study. Going to college isn't what I expected in the least because everyone is totally different from me, but I have learned to adapt somewhat. My happy place is my bedroom watching RUclips, Netflix or Dailymotion too! Either watching series, movies and just finding things to read or draw. I absolutely understand you. I understand your social anxiety but if you ever read this I want you to know you aren't alone and that I get it. It's okay to be like you are, it's okay to not be social, it's okay to be embarrassed or nervous to even order some fast food. It's okay to fear the public. It's okay to be a homebody. But pleeeease contact your home. Your parents are worried sick for you and your whereabouts, just call in ONE time to say that you're okay and will be okay. Just ONE call and you can go back to your new comfort, we all have new ones. Just one call, one letter is all they ask. Stay safe and if you are in California (my old home), enjoy the beautiful sunsets, they are gorgeous & breathtaking. Stay safe and best wishes always.
❤️❤️❤️
Vanessa Rami I can relate to this comment so much! I’d rather be at home in my room watching RUclips or Netflix. Know that you are also not alone! & Macin please contact your family and go home!! 💕
i know this wasnt directed towards me personally, but i really needed to read this today. so thank you❤ I couldn't have said it any better myself!
Marissa Kraus aww you are most welcome! I'm glad it helps other people as well.
Vanessa Rami this is beautiful, and I really relate to this as well. I hope Macin is still out there and reads this somehow. I needed to hear it and maybe he does too. No one is ever alone and no one ever has to justify who they are and how they feel. Xxx
So when I was a teenager I was horrible. I mean I was rebellious, nasty to my parents, never went to school, etc. tiny things would set me off and one Day I looked into how to disappear without a trace. A common thread with everything I read was “leave everything behind including your personal belongings (wallet, clothes, etc)”
Advice was to stash money away no one would know where it is or that you had it so once you were ready to leave you could leave your wallet, take the secret stash, and no one would have any idea. If he really was planning it that long he more than likely already knew this. That day was probably the day he made the decision to leave which isn’t an easy decision which explains why he was off. He had a lot going on in his head. Using his computer that late was most likely him planning his route, polishing up the last few details, and survival techniques. I don’t think him having his stuff taken made him snap. He most likely heard his dad coming, cleared his history, and opened up something his dad wouldn’t be suspicious of. Which is why when it was taken Macin was fine with it because he knew that he would be leaving the next morning anyway and would have to leave it behind. Then morning came and he left. If he was truly the one spotted walking aaay from his home at 3pm I also wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to come home, got to the door, said to himself “it’s now or never” and turned around and left.
As for someone picking up a hitchhiker if they’re not from the area and aren’t into cases like these/don’t watch tv then I wouldn’t be shocked if they never knew he was a missing kid. I mean I never knew about him until today when I started binging unsolved cases.
If he was planning on going to California the sightings in Vegas and of him hitch hiking to vegas makes a ton of sense.
I think he’s alive and well. But just living on his own somewhere else, completely starting over like I wanted to so many times. He will reach out one day. I’m sure of it. I think he just needs to get to that place himself.
Another thing is if he is gomelsss living at the coast of California he most likely doesn’t look the same. He’s probably tan, rugged, skinnier, longer hair, unkempt. I’m sure it would be very hard for someone to recognize him. Especially if he purposely changes the way he looks (another tip I got from my research when I was younger).
My thoughts and positive energy are with hI’m and his family ❤️
Hannah Snickers
Gee, where is this Shangrila of a homeless encampment?
So did you leave? There are comments here about someone's brother who saved up a thousand dollars, and nobody knew..........Did HE take off! No. He bought an X Box to play video games, like Macin would have.
Macin was in his room as much as possible. He was afraid to drive. He had no stash.
He left with no wallet, no ID, No phone, NO BACKPACK, no food, no sleeping bag, NO COAT....
He took off a year or so esrlier, for the same reason,
AND HAD ALL of the above, and came home in 3 hours because he was cold.
It was September in Utah, and he took off in just his shirtsleeves?
Is there ANYBODY WHO'S ACTUALLY LIVED IN ONE OF THESE PLACES FOR A LENGTH OF TIME? HAVEN'T HEARD FROM ANYBODY.
These places are full of homeless people who are broke, mentally ill, criminals, etc...These places are NOT
DISNEYLAND FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. They are not a nice calm environment where everything is all good. They are usually dirty, and not a place that makes ONE tiny bit of sense for him to hide out. There must be a reward. THERE ARE NO HOMELESS PEOPLE THAT NEED MONEY?
He's been gone 3 years, and he's just hanging out.
Since this is the concensus, WHY isn't Tracey out there searching and LIVING in one of those places herself? Uh huh. O.J. Simpson said he'd search for his wife's killer for the rest of his life! Interesting he thought it would take that long......
SM Potts how did you know he doesn’t have stash??? Like if you would tell it if you’re planning to runaway. Come on, she’s just sharing her POV. Let’s just pray for this kid that he’s all fine.
I have chronic anxiety and can't drive more than 5 miles from my house. I've been like this for nearly a decade. However I've recently started feeling depressed for the first time I my life. I think daily of just driving on and on instead of going to work. Regardless of my anxiety my son is THE ONLY thing that keeps me from completely disappearing. He didn't have that. It's amazing what you can overcome when you're at your wits end.
SM Potts YOU’RE SUCH A TROLL!!
The place you're looking for is Slab City, California. @@smpotts7640
Macin, if you are reading this, I'm guessing the thought of coming home - or contacting your family - gives you huge anxiety because of the publicity that will go with it. The thought of all that fuss, media exposure, etc. must be absolutely terrifying. I don't have social anxiety - yet the thought of it terrifies me. Would you please consider contacting Danelle Hallan instead? As she so clearly understands how you feel, you would find her empathy and understanding would help you manage the situation. And I'm sure you know this already, but no-one who loves you will judge you, criticise you or condemn you for disappearing. All they want is for you to come home. You are obviously dearly loved.
I don't know if this is true but maybe the issues with his dad ran deeper than people realize. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, and maybe he grew resentful towards his mom for staying in that situation.
My step dad was super abusive and I thought he was going to kill my mom and I on several occasions, and every time I tried to talk to my mom about what I was feeling she would brush me off. I remember telling her I wanted to talk to a therapist because I was depressed, suicidal, and cutting myself and her exact words were "what do you have to be depressed over? You're not depressed you have a good life.". That was the day after my step dad grabbed her by the throat and said "I'm going to fucking kill you, bitch" right in front of me, then he came after me. Nobody else knew what was going on, and by the time I opened up to my guidance counselor she told me that I was too old for the law to do anything for me but I wasn't 18 yet so I just had to stick it out. I grew so resentful towards my mom. I hated her and my step dad. It's been 5 years and we still don't talk. I left three days before my 18th birthday and finished the last three months of high school living in my boyfriends car.
I really hate that for you. I have some advice...albeit a little intrusive...nevertheless levelheaded...my mom and I had a horrendous relationship. I was given up for adoption at age 4...abused mentally and physically for a decade. Ran away to be back with my mom who gave me no form of support. Been raising myself since 15 years old. However i love my mom to death now. Im older and have my own children. I do my best not to mess up with them, how she messed up with me. You only get one mom. Make things right before you no longer have the option to.
I can so relate to this. My step dad was a monster too and my mom was a covert narcissist (only thought about herself). When he tried to molest me, I told her and she kicked me out. I lived with friends until I could graduate. I hated them both (she divorced him a year later), and cut off contact with my mom til I had kids and felt they needed family. I regret this as she was still deranged and altho I was able to protect my kids from her psychological abuse, I got sucked back in. Twelve years later I cut her off again; she's totally hopeless. That was 5 years ago, and while I feel sad for her, and for myself not having a family (my siblings are still locked in), my kids tell me how glad they are that we are free of it and I do feel so much more peace.
I hope your situation is different, but if its not and you have to stay away, good for you for standing up for yourself when she didn't. ♥️
Lol I had a drunk abusive father and he had a very turbulent relationship with my mother as well and she said pretty much that exact same thing when I told her I was depressed when I was around 12. "What do you have to be depressed about??" Lol wtf...umm how about my extremely miserable life if you haven't noticed it yet?
I can SOOOO relate!!!! You're not the only one Erica! Mine ran out of the house at the end of a gun that her 3rd husband was holding. I was like 9 or 8 & she didn't even bother to try & take me. I wish I could not think about that but it was important. I hope you can feel better Erica. I feel like this stuff can stay with you your entire life!
That sounds like me. My step dad wasn’t very violent but he was very emotionally and verbally abusive and my mom did nothing to stop the way he acted. He made my mom not talk to her family and start to hate me. I haven’t talked to my mom in almost a year.
My heart aches for Macin, I understand him and i do think and hope that he ran away. Macim, if you come across this video and see this, please know that your return could mean nothing but relief and happiness for your family if that's what you're worried about. we ALL want you to return safe
karla same thoughts completely
The fact that the parents won't reveal what the note said may indicate that Macin confessed something which would bring him or his parents embarrassment if it were made public. Maybe he told his family he was gay, or having gender identity issues, or something that can cause people deep shame, and this is why he ran away or killed himself. It could follow that if he were alive, he may be too ashamed to ever come home again..
Lady Contessa
Yes, you could be right about being gay. But how do we know Macin even wrote the letter?
they wouldn't reveal what it said to the public I didn't hear her say they didn't make LEO aware of it.
I thought the same thing. I'm ASSUMING they're Mormon(I think they hate that term now but I dont know the correct one) given their family size, where they live, and the religious factor. That is a HUGE sin in the Mormon faith. That could definitely be a reason for leaving🤔
Or maybe they just did it out of respect for their son. Because he probably would want it to be private.
I wish my depression would go away, but it’s chronic. All I can hope is that one day everything won’t be as terrible.
Either way we are ALL here for you regardless❤️
I hope for you it does. I hate to be a cliche and say it will but it did for me and it's not perfect but it's gotten better. I hope for you nothing but happiness
It’s crazy how it comes and goes sometimes isn’t it. I will feel great for a month straight, the world is great, my life is great, everything is going smoothly, and one day I’ll wake up and it has hit me like a truck. Going about my day and every little thing has me saying “What’s the point in this? Idc about any of this shit. I can’t do anything right, I hate everyone, everyone just leave me alone” and unfortunately the bad lasts longer than the good. Sometimes for a few months or years. I wonder if it will ever go away
Thank you everyone, I’m glad in this community we can sympathize instead of ostracize. I know it will get better, slowly but surely. Even if it isn’t completely gone it won’t plague me as much.
❤️
Stopping at 14:27 to add, his door was locked and his parents had to know this! They waited like 2 days before they broke into his bedroom door to check out his room!!!
My Old Farmhouse that is weird. That wouldn’t be the first place they check??
Right!!
I cannot even fathom how this boy was feeling, but at the same time I relate to it so much. My heart absolutely goes out to this family.
Macon went to an LDS church. After high school they typically leave on a mission away from home. They spend quite a bit of time preparing for this mission in the year before. That would have been at the time he disappeared. Can you imagine the fear you would have of leaving home, knocking on people’s doors, rejection and doing this with a problem with his speech and social anxiety?
Lottie McDaniels I didn't know it was an lds church. That is an interesting factor.
To Macin
I like anime too. It's an awesome, hilarious and often really hard hitting type of entertainment. Obviously I don't completely understand whatever it is you were going through when you left, but I have my own problems and I can relate to you that much. You are not alone, you have people that love you, you have people that care about and value you and you don't need to feel otherwise. You are so loved, look at all your family is doing to get you back. I hope that wherever you are you're safe and alive and I hope you go home soon. You are loved by so many people. Don't feel like you're alone, don't feel like no one cares. xx
When I had severe mental health problems, my mum took my phone away during school nights at 10pm, and as someone who spoke to people constantly to ensure I was distracted and safe but not having my phone it genuinely caused extreme bouts of depression and mental breakdowns usually leading to self harm, so I could understand why masin would have gotten upset and left ://
Mollie Evans same.
Mollie Evans me too, all of my friends are online friends and talking to them stopped me from overthinking
Jaime Williams I’m the exact same
Anime was probably his distraction
I appreciate your vulnerability so much in this video! I'm so happy you have overcome your past! You are such a strong and amazing person!
People only lack confidence in environments they dont like. Believe me even the shy most socially awkward people are extroverts when with friends isn’t a comfortable place.
Very good point!
Danelle Hallan im hoping he just felt free and comfortable enough to go join a homeless community. I mean lots of anime center around this plot. A young misunderstood teen who different from mainstream society and makes friends with unlikely characters. Maybe that’s what he wanted.
I agree.
I disagree. Self confidence is especially impacted when they REALLY like someone.
For example, a first date, a job interview, in a group of people you really like, and who like you. Even being in love, and loved back
can cause performance anxiety in situations where there is actually something at stake.
Benji I appreciate the kindness of your original comment and so I hope you read this in the same kindness, but i very much disagree with you. I'm a very confident and happy person, I am a good speaker, and I get along well with others. I have social anxiety, and on that case I do agree with you to an extent. That anxiety will mostly go away for me in the right group. But even with people I love and who love me, I get anxiety if I'm with more than one person. But an introvert is an introvert. An extrovert is an extrovert. As an introvert I have often found myself saying that I think everyone would be an introvert if they were comfortable with themselves, because they wouldn't need other people to distract them or hide behind. In time, I have come to the conclusion that this is not so. An introvert feels refreshed by being alone. And extrovert feels refreshed being with others. When you fit into one of these categories it can be hard to understand how anyone could possibly fit into the other. I can hardly wrap my brain around the idea of people being refreshed after spending time with others. I love people and I'm very confident in who I am as a person. But I will always be an introvert, because it's how my batteries recharge. I hope that makes some sens 😁
This story hits very close to home for me. My husband was born and raised in California by very strict Mormon parents. They never seen eye to eye with him and his dad always gave him a hard time about his video games etc. My husband actually ran away to live in another state, and didn’t tell his parents where he went or why he left. He just slept in his car and got a part time job to keep himself fed. He just wanted some independence and have the freedom to figure out who he was because his family wasn’t giving him the freedom he so desperately needed. He eventually went back home and things got worse with his dad. Him and I met on World Of Warcraft, and would Skype all day and night. I would hear his dad scream at him and scold him about this choices he was making. And would call over missionaries to ambush him in the middle of us talking to each other. We met in person eventually and moved in together, and now we’re happily married. But I’m afraid that if we hadn’t met and made a life together. He could have ended up exactly like Mason. There were times that he cried over the phone with me and told me how alone he felt. Even surrounded by his family. His depression was deep. We live in Utah together and we don’t follow the LDS religion, but I see kids all the time in Mason’s shoes. Being forced to live a certain way, having the only joy in life snatched away from them. Even if it is “just anime” or “just World of Warcraft”. That could be the only joy they have to hang on to. The only thing keeping them from making the decision to take their own life. Thank you for sharing this story.
I’m glad you 2 met ❤!! You saved him!!
I hope somewhere out there Macin has been saved by someone like you too!🙏🏽❤️
Macin might have had online friends tho that no one knew about.. I have made a couple of very great friends that none of my family or even irl friends knows about over the internet. As someone who suffers from social anxiety it is easier to make friends over the internet, maybe he found someone in the anime community. If one of those friends helped him for one reason or another to get away, it's very much possible that he ran away and is still alive, somewhere out there living another life.
He was all alome here
I live in Northern California. there’s a huge homeless population here. There’s encampments under highways and along the rivers. I’ll keep his face in mind. We aren’t a far trek Salt Lake City. Hope he is found very soon...
I love this video, but I would like to add something that you left out, or didn't know. I grew up with the Smith family, I knew Macin personally. I am best friends with one of his older sisters, so I was at their house all the time. They did not live in Canada for very long. They actually grew up in Utah. They lived in Canada for only 2-3 years. Then they moved back. This information doesn't change much about the video, I just thought I'd add. Also, I dont want anyone thinking Darren (the father) was super strict and a bad dad. He is the best man and dad that I have ever met. I know there were some speculations that he had something to do with the disappearance. That is 100% wrong, with all my heart I know that both the parents are great people, and would do anything for their family. Thank you so much for the video. It was pretty accurate. Thank you for showing him and his family respect.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences and information!
It’s not hard for a man to put on a great front outside of his home. Or in front of outsiders in his home. Men do it all the time. Men you think are so wonderful are actually horrible behind closed doors. I experienced it with my father and my husband. I’ve seen it in numerous situations as a bondsman. And let’s not forget the news stories that have neighbors saying about another neighbor ‘He wouldn’t have hurt a fly’, after they kill someone or rape someone.
@@patstone3259 As someone with a narcissistic and abusive mother (and who is about to be a father) i find it a bit odd that you'd say "men" as though it's restricted to one gender. Anyone can be a piece of shit, dude, and I'm also not sure how your experience with your husband and father have anything to do with this situation. And where are you getting the thing about rapists? While rape is predominantly perpetrated by men, this case has nothing to do with horrendous acts like that. The conclusions you are drawing don't make any logical sense. I'm sorry about what happened with your dad and husband, but I don't think we should assume anything about ppl we don't know based on our personal biases. All we know about this guy is that he might have been a bit stricter than his wife. That's it. He did nothing to deserve what you said in this comment.
Also, I will admit that I find it a tad bit insulting that you seem to assume that all men should be treated with suspicion because they might secretly be monsters. I feel like that's trauma distorting your perception of the world, honestly, which is understandable. However, it's not an accurate perception of how things really are on a larger scale. There are many things wrong with most men, but those things are things like implicit sexism for the most part, or subtly misogynistic behaviors. I can assure you that the majority of men do not rape, kill, or abuse ppl behind closed doors. You're also forgetting that studies estimate that approximately 10 to 25 percent of men have experienced domestic violence victimization, and that anywhere from 20 to 40 percent of DV victims are male. And we know those are conservative estimates because it's an issue widely disregarded by authorities and society at large. I don't know your gender, but regardless, you seem to have a trauma-based aversion to men as a result of what you went through and I think you need to be careful about what you say because the family could see these comments.
Seventy F. I agree with everything you said, I’m just wanting to clarify what she meant regarding her rape/murder comment: she said it’s not uncommon for neighbors and friends of rapists/murders to say that they were good people and/or “wouldn’t hurt a fly.” She made that comment in regards to the OP who says there’s no way Macin’s family had anything to do with his disappearance.
It’s clear this woman has a personal vendetta against men, imo, and I don’t believe his parents had anything to do with it.
People have gone off on the dad making him go to sleep. Nothing wrong with that. Sleep deprivation causes more problems if he were depressed. It's good parenting to make sure their kids get sleep on school nights. What do you think happened with Macin that day?
I’ve been at my lowest before. It literally drives you crazy. I remember sitting in my driveway and looking over at the street. I remember thinking, “it’s right there. I could end it all right now “. It’s a terrible feeling knowing that you’re that upset and messed up to want to end your life. It’s never happened again but I’ll never forget that feeling
He didn’t take anything with him...not even his wallet.
That screams suicide to me.
Same. I do believe that's what happened :/
or he just wanted to start a new life and didn't want to take anything with him that would remind him of his old life ,because of what he was going through it might of been too traumatizing for him.
Oh Danelle, I feel for you, cause I understand. I had post partum with all 3 of my boys. One of them it was really bad, I was so lost. I don't want to say too much on here, but know you are not alone. If you ever need someone to talk to I am here. I know you get a lot of people that come on here, but know we are here for you. For a long time I turned to heroin, it was the only way I knew how to cope. I have 3 years off of it, it has been very hard, and I struggle today, but today I get to make better choices, and let someone know when I am feeling like I can't take it anymore.
I am only half way through this video, but I do hope theere is some peace with his family. I have 3 boys and I could not even fathom not knowing what happen to my child.
I am so proud of you! You are such a beautiful woman, and I can tell you have a genuine soul. We LOVE and adore you. You will always have my support.
oh my god the part about how they had cake and balloons for him on his 18th birthday just destroyed me. i can never even begin to imagine what they have to go through on a daily basis. thank you so much for sharing his story and keeping him alive.
Being LDS this makes it even more interesting. A lot of youth run away or try to leave within the Mormon community as it is highly restrictive and emotionally taxing. I myself left Utah because of the suffocating culture. If Macin was LBGTQ (could even be a part in the letter) that would only compile on the desire to start over somewhere new. LBGTQ youth suicide is the highest in the nation in Utah. Not just LBGTQ though, suicide/depression within Utah and youth is staggering so he didn't need to be a part of the community in order to want to leave. It's important to know that the LDS church is SO organized and SO demanding. As a youth you are participating in the church for at least 1 hour or more every day of the week except for Saturday. That's not a joke. They also control what media you consume, what you cannot dress, cannot eat, so hearing that Macin wanted a carefree life I could see him wanting to get out. And knowing how dear the faith is to family and how strong the church is in Utah I could see the desire to "escape". My only hope is that he has found a safe place for himself to thrive but I hope if he did, that he could at least give his family peace of mind. I don't know the family but it seems they care about him.
Such a great way to put it, I was thinking the same thing!
@@dznailz Even his mother mentioned that she had rumors of Masin being gay; and she insisted that she didn't care. I'm just wondering about the father since the "gay thing" may've been included in his letter.
@@vwgolf6487 I'm thinking the father was probably verbally abusive and that's why he struggled so much, internally. It's really sad, that LDS members are so strict against their kids. I really hope he has found peace and unconditional love 🙏❤️
When I heard about the letter they won't release I thought that too.
I though the same thing.
I'm a social worker who tried EVERYTHING to get help with severe PPD- did not want to hurt my baby but I definitely wanted to die myself for nine whole months after she was born, and I was told I was too smart to have postpartum. Not only is that ridiculous and I'm ashamed that peers as well as doctors actually came to that conclusion, once I finally did get help 10 months after she was born, I needed that help and those support groups and medications for another year. I find it very hard to talk about, it is the blackest place that exists in my memories, but I have made it a personal mission to bring attention to the suffering of women struggling with shame and stigma surrounding postpartum depression. I just want them to know that even though they feel completely alone, they are not alone.
May God bless you!
He seems so sweet and is so handsome, he looks so much like my boyfriend so I feel even more connected to and saddened by this case. My heart broke when you were sharing your story, that was so brave. I'm sure it will help so many people and I love how hard you try to help!! I hope he is found safe and sound and able to return to his family and have a better life
xc5647321 xc5647321 wtf? what nonsense are you trying to start? On a positive comment 😩🤣 no.
I can relate to him so much.... do you ever wish you knew someone and could go back in time to help them? That’s how I feel about this case. I pray that someday he comes home.
It’d be hard to come back. It’d be so overwhelming knowing how big is disappearance was. The scrutiny a kid that might have running away would go through would bee excessive. Itd be a media blitz if he showed up home today it could be so hard to deal with. He’d face a lot coming back. If I can leave a comment here that would help someone: Mason, it’s ok that you left. It’s ok if you go back. I care about how you feel not what you’ve done.
Right? I wouldn’t want to come back home at that point.
Thank you for being vulnerable with us, Danelle. If Macin is reading this, just know that it may not seem like it right now, but things will get better. I remember having both my anxiety and depression triggered tenfold, when I couldn't afford to go to college a few years ago. I wanted to run away and become a recluse. There was a point when I wamted to hurt myself and that's when I had to tell my family how I was feeling and got help. Macin, your feelings are valid and you can get help for the dark times, I promise.
❤️❤️
You explained the depression that I have felt so good in your situation I never was able to explain how I feel in words. I get depression on and off a lot but I push myself so hard to get these things off my mind thank you
❤️
Skylar Verica The way she explained it was in a way I couldn't pit into words but was so relatable. Love her. Sending love and support to you as well xxxxxxx
Mental illness is not a joke, unfortunately people who have not directly or indirectly dealt with it will never understand it.
Hey Macin, if you are watching this video and reading this comment, fellow anime fanatic here supporting you in spirit!
ive got mad depression and suicis=dal thoughts and I joke about it all the time. it's calling a coping method lol
Hey there! I love Anime too. I hope Macin is happy whatever he is right now. Maybe he's watching Anime at this time too.
totally agree, people who have not dealt with it or watched a love one deal with it and seen the struggles and see that its real, can not understand...they act like it is just someone that can't handle stress or a made up thing...but its not.
@@cookingwithmama2523 you sound like people who haven't experienced mental illness themselves or through other people are all jerks to people with mental illness. That is obviously not true. You *can* understand it to a certain point, even if you've never experienced it.
@@Lilithly I have actually I had a nephew commit suicide because of it and I myself have had bad depression/anxiety that I need medication to control. I have been there wondering what is wrong with me. Tried to go off meds multiple times thinking "I feel better now" try to drown it out in alchy, I was talking from my pwn feelings. People tend to treat people with depression from my perspective as just someone that can't deal with the stress, and its not. I have tried everything before finally admitting I needed outside help.
Is it possible he ran away back to Canada?
I totally don’t believe he committed suicide. He’s definitely alive somewhere.
I had a problem with depression in college and three different times in a single semester I bought one way train tickets to New Orleans. I didn't know why New Orleans and I didn't even really know why I wanted to leave but I just had the most intense need to leave. All three times luckily something happened (flat tire on my bike, strep throat, and a severe allergic reaction) kept me from making it to the train station.
I would be leaving behind my family, my boyfriend, and all of my friends. I had great relationships with all of them, but it never even crossed my mind that they would be hurt by me leaving. In fact, depression had convinced me that they would be relieved to have me out of their hair and that they were just putting up with me due to a perceived obligation.
From the time I had the thought of needing to get out to actually hitting "buy" on the amtrak site I'd have a panic attack with my throat closing up and my body tremoring. Once the tickets were confirmed I felt so much better, luckily it didn't take actually boarding the train to relieve the panic.
I know exactly what you mean when you say unless you've ever felt that need to escape you can't understand. I talked to a counselor and even she was trying to minimize my experience and telling me that I was doing it to hurt the people I loved on a subconscious level. It's been three years and my family and boyfriend still don't know about my runaway attempts.
My heart hurts so much for him, your videos always impact me, but I connect with Macin so much and I'm just sobbing. When I was dealing with depression I thought what I was feeling was normal and forever, but now that my mental state is normal (give or take haha) and I know how much more life has to offer I just hope that he's out there somewhere and he's no longer struggling. I hope he's getting back on his feet and will reconnect with his family, they obviously really love him a lot.
Morgan Timm Thank you for sharing your story. I have felt the same need to escape. Matter of fact in my early 20s I moved around a lot from state to state. It wasn't until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on medication that I started to really feel home and safe in my environment. 💗
You are SO strong Danelle. To put yourself out there to help people understand how scary and how very real and strong depression and mental illness can be. I had my first baby boy last year and my PPD was so bad I wanted nothing more than to disappear. Leave my husband and newborn and I can’t even begin to explain why. Thank you SO much for speaking out not only for the case, or helping people understand, but to help anyone who’s been there- through it. You’re amazing as well as your content! 💖 stay strong mama.
Brittany
GIIRLL, almost one hour long? YES, I'm watching it now. Thank you so much for giving us this content and for promoting the talk about these cases. Wishing you all the best!
25:05 - Yes people would "just run away" without telling their family, and no, I am sorry but it is not heartless. The fact people say it is, they should consider it a luxury they were never in a place where that was actually the healthy choice for them. Sometimes, it's between suicide, and running away without the possibility of your family coming after you. Your family can love you and "want the best for you," all by being the most toxic people in your life without realizing it. I don't think this kid is dead, I think he left to save himself. And all of these comments are selfish, telling him to "go back home because your family loves you" -- What about what HE wants, what about the love he has for himself? That's the issue with people, they are always concerned with how they are affected, they make everything about them, and dehumanize the emotions of the one's experiencing them. All that person wants is to be understood, they are far past caring what *you* want. Why don't we try listening and understanding people, and letting them be free? I hope he has found the peace he was looking for.
Cole S he's a child. I disagree with you Cole.
18 isn't a child. A child can be abused and want to be free. Welcome to reality. When I was 14 my mom said she'd put me down like a dog if it was legal then pretended to care and Be a victim when I tried to off myself. Lmao welcome to reality. Some "families" are shitty, and being a child or not, no one should be abused. PERIOD.
Interesting perspective. This actually helps me to feel less hurt when people leave my life or disappear without warning. You’re right. We are always concerned with how the behavior affected us, when in reality we just don’t know what another person is struggling with.
This!
As someone who suffers from depression and suicidal thoughts I get Macin. I've thought of running and starting a new life. I have been on the edge of suicide. Anti depressants have helped me a lot. Some made me crazy and panic.
The fact that Macin took nothing with him really alarms me. I think he may have committed suicide. One is only left to speculate. This story is so sad. Macin if you are still out there PLEASE know you are NOT alone. Your family loves and misses you. (Did the police investigate his dad? Could his father been behind this? I doubt it. But just crazy to disappear without a trace!) Danielle, THANK you for opening up and sharing your story about post partum depression.
Just wanna point out several thoughts I have on this
1) deleted browser history-this was right before he got caught with the computer that night...17 year old boy with a deleted browser history to me indicates he was probably looking up porn. Nothing surprising in a boy his age.
2) homeless camps-the homeless often look after their own. If he was found wandering by a good hearted denizen of the street, he could have been taken in without having to approach a camp himself. Many people run away from old lives and many don't ask for background stories. He probably isn't going by his real name anyway. Also, many homeless people are quiet and keep to themselves so his shyness would not have been out of the ordinary
3) letter-unless his letter specifically stated his intent to kill himself, i would not classify it as a suicide letter. To me the phrase 'i'm done' seems to be an emotional disconnect-cutting the ties that connect him to his family.
4) planned escape-because he has had these thoughts before and has spoken of it to more than one person, he was probably searching on how to do it for months, if not years. This kid seems smart, he probably wouldn't use his own computer to do it. Probably used school access to the internet to flush out a practical plan.
the fact that he was 'hospitalized' (read-psychiatric ward, no doubt) for his mental illness also may make him think that his remaining with his family was more of a burden to them and so he left without telling them because he didn't want them to feel obligated to help him.
The only problem i have with the runaway theory is if he were sooo into anime and the internet culture, running away would cut him off from the ability to immerse himself in it.
I'm pretty sure they can go back through your internet history (even in-cognito mode) and see what you've searched, even though I agree he probably was just looking at things normal teens do. Even if he wasn't, they are most probably able to see whatever it was.
Yeah exactly. It obviously wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The only way to properly delete something off a computer is to trash the hard drive. Ie trashing the device. 🤷♀️
I believe his Dad deleted his history and wiped out the computer. Dad was a bit of a bully
Ya know this reminds me of a homeless male I once saw(i live in southern California, not in east la but near the local community college) and he was just next to a large garbage container right outside of a 711. It was before Christmas day or Christmas eve(I forget) at night. He looked very depressed and he had a backpack with him. He was blonde, I don't believe he had a beard but he did have some faciall hair, his hair was definitely a bit longer, not super long just long enough to almost touch his shoulders. I'm 5 11 and he was definitely taller than me, don't know if he was 6 4 but it wouldn't surprise me. My dad told me to offer him a blanket we had in the car for good comfort, he didn't want it even though I told him it was Christmas he really didn't want it. My dad chose to put it hanging over a wall just in case he wanted it. We saw him walk away, as we drove off we saw him lying down on someone's lawn (the neighbor hood has some houses with open lawns). Through out the years we've seen plenty of homeless people in that neighborhood, but that was the first and only time we saw him. I believe it was either in 2016 or 2017. Just a thought though.
Everyone in this comment section and community is so incredibly sweet. I posted about my own postpartum depression story, after Danelle made me feel comfortable enough to share it, and was scared to death that someone would make fun of me or down me for it. But to my happy surprise, [so far] all I've gotten is support, sympathy, love, encouragement, understanding and kindness... which is such a rare thing to find on the internet nowadays. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate every single person here who continuously shows their kindness, even to random strangers sharing comments on RUclips. It's so inspiring. Makes me so proud to be apart of this little space/family on the internet. And thank you, Danelle... for being such a wonderful influence and for always reminding everyone to keep it kind and respectful. That doesn't go unnoticed.
I hope everyone and their families are safe and well!
Raegan Vaughn ❤️❤️❤️❤️🌹
Raegan Vaughn You're honestly so sweet♡
I love your name it's so pretty
Raegan, this channel seems very supportive. I didn't suffer PPD with my daughter but the time before and after my divorce my depression was dabilatating. You feel like you are lost. Raegan, I hope you are doing well. After about 3 years I feel alive again and I'm ready to start over...take care
Raegan Vaughn you’re not alone. I had PPD with my second and the more we moms share about it the more we can support each other.
Also about the homeless situation in California. I live in Hollywood which is in Southern California. When you brought up about the beach bum. Some very popular area is Venice Beach / Santa Monica Pier that's where you hear about " beach bums" . They are very nice and touristy areas. In the Hollywood Strip or Walk of Fame during the day it's very touristy but at night it turns a 180 . Hollywood at night is known for their " squatters " . Lots of young people that came to Hollywood to follow a dream but ended up making the wrong decisions hang out with bad influences lots of them end up drug addicted. Also not having their support system/ family one can see how they spiral so fast. Another area which has become very infamous is Skid Road recently expanding to Downtown LA , there you are more likely to find the camps you were talking about. Sometimes they go on for blocks . You see everything there homelessness , drug addiction, prostitution and many people with mental health disorders. I look into posting flyer in this areas. Thanks for sharing.
There are also a lot of these camps in Seattle. I think a lot of them travel to or from Cali or other places with camps.
I was thinking Venice Beach and Hollywood as well. Venice Beach is easier to survive in the sense that there's a bit of a community there, with a large transient populations. Not too hard to make friends in that area, even if you're super shy. I know this from personal experience and having formerly lived a homeless/transient lifestyle. It's not that hard to do, especially with the right people. Culturally, if he was in to Anime I would say Venice Beach is also a better bet than the streets of Hollywood.
yeah everyone knows hollywood is in southern california... lmao.
Sonia L.
Thank you Sonia for your comments as someone who has first hand experience with the homeless encampments, and the reality that they are not all peace, love, and good vibes, but very dangerous places, especially for a sheltered, naive young man.
Yes girl! Day and night difference for sure!! He could dip out here easily.
Postpartum depression (or just depression in general, as well as any other mental illnesses) is so debilitating to live with and try to overcome. I had it after my daughter was born. I just completely stopped taking care of myself and solely focused on taking care of her, plus I was always breastfeeding anyway so it was too easy to fall into that pit and stop giving a fuck about myself. I didn't do *anything* but focus on her... (and please, whoever reads this next part, please don't make fun of me for what I did or how I felt; it's terrifying enough just talking about this and being vulnerable to anyone on the internet who sees this) I barely ate or slept, would hardly shower once a week, couldn't go out where I knew there'd be people or crowds, started experiencing overwhelming anxiety, couldn't motivate myself to get up and get dressed or put some makeup on to feel pretty, nothing. I even stopped brushing my hair. I just had it in a messy topknot all the time, and my hair is super thick and curly so eventually it started to tangle, to the point where my entire bun was in a huge dreadlock... and I had to have my husband shave my head... which made me feel so much worse about myself. I can't even describe how depressed I was during the time it took for my hair to start growing back. It was literally crippling. And after shaving all my hair off, like I said, that only worsened my postpartum depression and my husband really started to get worried after he noticed how different I was after that so he was finally able to encourage me enough to go with me and talk to someone, and thank god I did. Although I'm still not 100% "better" four years later, I'm 100× better than I was then; (my anxiety never went away so I deal with that on the daily now and have terrible social anxiety as well) but my point is, depression is no joke and it almost completely changed me and practically took over my life for the better part of two years.
All I want to say is thank you for sharing your story with us, Danelle. You made me feel comfortable enough to open up and share mine. I hope and pray Macin is somewhere out there, happy and safe. Maybe one day he'll feel it's safe to go back home to everyone who loves and misses him so.
So sorry you went through this. :(
Lilith Nox
I'm touched that no one started to make fun of me for essentially "letting myself go" for that long. Thank you so very much for being so incredibly sweet. I truly appreciate your kindness💋
lynncrf
Thank you so very much for being so sweet. I was scared to death to talk about it! I appreciate you for being so kind to me💋
I just feel so bad for you. After all, we still don't really truly know why these postpartum hormonal shifts affect some women so badly and others not really at all. You have clearly been through hell and have been so brave. :(
lynncrf
You're so kind, thank you so much for just being polite. That in itself means so much. I'm touched that [so far] no one has judged me for this, bc I was scared shitless after I posted my comment. Internet bullies/trolls just seem to pop up sometimes, even in the best spaces, such as Danelle's comment section. But thankfully I haven't had a bad encounter yet. I truly appreciate your comment. Thank you (and anyone else who's been supportive in this thread) for being a kind, compassionate, encouraging, sympathetic, understanding human being❤💁
I hope he's still out there 💙💙
I really respect how you put yourself out there in this video. There is such a stigma against mental illness/suicide, and you are using your platform to help so many people. Mason if you are out there, so many people have felt like you. Not exactly like you, as everyone has their own experience, but so many of us have felt lost and alone. I hope that you are out there and are safe
The BABY BOOMER generation may be hard workers, older...'wiser'... but they are HORRIBLE Parents. TERRIBLE. I've ALWAYS thought this, even as a Very Young child. They are off...WAY WAY OFF in terms of Millennial minds, and how to inspire sustenance and substance.
D msw you have to consider how much the world has changed for those parents. They've kind of been left behind by rapid change and they struggle to cope and understand how things work now compared to in their youth. The way people act and behave has changed so much in the last two generations, and even in-betweeners have trouble really identifying with the millennial view because it is all different from what they have seen their entire lives. This is simply an issue of societal evolution. The world changes and people either are able to embrace it or they struggle and get left behind. This happens every couple of generations, really. The world is constantly changing and change is hard for people. Every vegetation honestly believes that their parents are terrible and don't understand the world. It's part of the human condition and growing up.
D msw agreed. my parents, bless their hearts, were terrible parents in the sense of being emotionally there.
Although you aren’t wrong and I don’t disagree with you and I also see how much the world is different for millennials and gen Z, please keep in mind his parents I would imagine feel terrible enough and could potentially read this. Danielle was trusting us to be sensitive and someone who isn’t a millennial or a gen z might not fully understand where you are coming from and what your trying to say and it could easily be his parents that are one of them. I kindly request that you consider rewording your comment.
I'm laughing at vegetation lol but YESSSSS I agree with you! My girls are in their mid 20's now but the method in which I was raised did not always work for my girls. My youngest, it was a total backfire. Although everything I did I felt was the absolute best thing for them, now that I myself am older I realize some things were not that important to their future selves. It's really hard being a parent. You have so much love for your children and it's a BIG job raising another human being!
It's even worse when there's a HUGE gap between the parents and the kid. My dad is a baby boomer (born in 1946) and I was born in 1996. I love my dad to death but it is so hard sometimes to even talk to him when we're on completely different wavelengths due to our age gap. But I do agree with what someone else said, that it's up to us too to be understanding. The changing times are just as confusing for them as it is for us.
This young man sounds exactly like me. I'm so scared to drive. My parents pushed me to drive, and I would cry the whole time driving with my dad, because he would yell. I have social anxiety as well. I would rather sit in my room, and watch youtube, and netflix, than go hang out with friends. This hits way to close to home
It is like you speak my language. I had to pull over on the highway during my driving practice at school because I was hysterical and hyperventilating. Add my dad that would yell at me as well and I GET YOU. So many people experience the same things he did and I hope if he is out there he sees he isn't alone❤️
I'm glad im not the only one with a fear of driving. I can drive now, but i always get knots in my tummy and I have been driving for years.
I really hope he is still out there, and some how sees this video. I hope he comes home
Thank you so much Danelle for understanding
I have anxiety driving as well. I'm 31 and moved from Michigan to Pennsylvania in 2013, but still don't have my PA drive's license. I know I need to get it one of these days, but I'm such a nervous driver, especially on freeways, in the evening, snow, and rain. If I drive more than 30 minutes, I get bad anxiety; shaking, gripping the wheel, I've even got teary eyed. One time, I got so anxious while on the freeway, I had to pull over onto the shoulder for about 20-30 minutes until I calmed down.
My mother chastised me about pulling over on the freeway, but I told her I didn't understand how driving 65+ mph in a state of hysterical shaking and crying was a safer option. I got lost on the freeway, twice, trying to get home and it took an hour for me to get home, and I cried the whole time.
Last January I was thinking about getting my license again, but my husband and I were in a car accident. He was driving, but stopped behind a bus that just randomly pulled out in front of us. As he stopped, a truck rear ended us, totally our car.
To this day, I get anxious when we get close to a bus and won't let my husband go around it unless we're on a two lane road or the bus literally just stopped to let on passengers. I know I need to get a license, but I'm still a bit traumatized from that accident. I've gotten a little better at handling my anxiety, but still, the thought of driving again terrifies me. I like to tell myself if Jessica Fletcher and Miss Marple didn't have to drive, I shouldn't have to either.
I know this is years old now, but I have to say thank you Danielle for being so open. I've been dealing with psychotic depression for 6 years & still trying to take each day at a time. I'm so sorry Macin hasn't been found & my heart goes pit to his family & friends. Mental illness needs to be talked about more openly with less stigma. People who don't understand need to educate themselves in order to try to be more open minded. XX 💙
Before I address the heavier things of this video, I want to give you something extra nice. I am loving your new editing style. I love the added clips and stock footage. I know it's probably extra work but I think it definitely pays off.
And now I'll say I'm sending you hugs across the interwebs. I've never had postpartum, but I do have clinical depression and severe anxiety. I've been in-patient for passive suicidal ideation where I just stopped caring about taking care of myself. I understand exactly what you mean. I've been there and it's the scariest thing. You aren't yourself but you're hearing these thoughts that your mental illness is feeding you and you believe them. I think it's why brain-washing and cults scare the living crap out of me. My mind has already been its own prisoner; I can't imagine giving a twisted human being that sort of power.
Your passion is as evident as always. I think it's safe to say you've found your purpose in life. You truly care. I always look forward to your videos despite the tragedy that might come with them. You keep them alive. Again, more hugs and I can't wait for the next video.
Mary-Allyn F you’re not alone either In case no one has told you lately. Depression can run so deep even a simple shower can deplete every ounce of energy you had for the day. Even the cleanest people who get depressed are susceptible to this so it can happen to anyone. #;
when you’re 30 minutes in and the video would usually be ending.
but you got another 20 minutes left 😁🙌🏽
Same!
I dont know how I feel about your comment. Yes we love Danelle, but to hands up and big smiley about 20 more mins of someone's tragedy? I can barely like the video just because its contradictory. Like just blatant YAYs with this subject matter, help me understand.
Alexandra Ramsburg you’re deeping it. my comment has nothing to do with the case or the victims or anything like that.
stop trying to twist it into something it’s not
dts d yup. It is deep. Its just like saying somethings hot when its cold is how your comment struck me.
Alexandra Ramsburg alright
What if he met up with a friend he met online or through gaming? Thats my first thought when people mention him running away. Not that he just left with no plan & no money. :( So sad.
Off topic, i was changing my 8 month old son with this video in the background and he grabbed my phone and he began to kiss the phone, attempting to kiss you (ive been watching your videos for over a year and he can recognize the voice) i just thought it was cute.
Amazing video by the way, its truely eye opening to why people may be considering running away. Thinking about what you say about cases help ease the pain for family members.
To macins family, i am so sorry that this has happened, i hope you get closure. With love from Chloe and Colby-James
Meja Pikturnaite my nephew has been hugging and kissing us since he was 7 months..... not every child is the same, leave people alone 🤦🏾♀️
@@lance6961 yikes boi not true every child is different my daughter been hugging and kissing us and will try to kiss the phone since 6 months old ... So leave her alone not every child is the same
yikes boi heartless
Danelle Hallan, I have taken the liberty of suggesting Macin contacts you. I hope you will forgive me for this. I am concerned that the resultant publicity in him returning home, or even just getting in touch, may cause him dreadful anxiety. You obviously really empathise with him, so I feel confident you could and would help him negotiate a way/ways to come forward, if he contacts you. As I said, please forgive me for nominating you without first asking your permission.
Anne Peters You are so kind, you've made me cry. Bless you always.
This is why I let my child take mental days from school, where if she is feeling too overwhelmed she can stay home and sleep, not multiple days, but one day here or there.
Thank you for caring about your child’s mental health. It is so important.
Ive started the same now that she's in 7th grade. And I don't hide it or lie about it. The school knows. And with work being online its not a huge deal. But it's something I will allow her to do until she graduates. She is already on antidepressants and i am also. There's so many factors working against her already that as her mom I have to do everything possible to make sure she's ok mentally and can come to me no matter what.
I have to point out something that people never seem to consider. This was obviously planned out, he knew if they found his wallet and it was missing money, they would assume he was alive (assuming he is and this was planned) who is to say, he hasnt just saved money and put it on a gift card, you dont need id, and the money is instant, also idk if you can buy a bus ticket in advance but i know you could have credit etc....there ARE ways to avoid being detection, nm whos to say he wasn't in a chat room, and had been planning this with someone else, the headache just an extra part. Idk....just how my brain works....I have social anxiety and tend to overcompensate, so a lot of people think I'm outgoing, but im just hiding my nervousness. Who knows what has happened but I hope he is ok💜💜💜
He didn't meet anyone in a chat room. They checked all his history. I agree with you about everything else!
My dad did this. He was a fisherman and got a job to go on a 3 month fishing trip to Alaska and I remember saying goodbye to him (I was 4) and no one heard from him again. He left his mom and sister and 4 children behind, me being the youngest. 15 years later (this past October) his mom (my grandma) finally found him by getting his story seen by the right person on Facebook. Turns out he never even went to Alaska, he was on his way and out of nowhere decided to go to California instead. He said he was lost and didn’t know who he was or what he was doing and needed to find himself. I was the only person in my family who was never mad at him because if he was unhappy why would I want to grow up with a miserable father who resented me and my siblings and his life? Wish he would have paid child support tho lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Seriously, Danelle, you are the BEST missing person/mystery RUclipsr. Thank you for having the heart to share something so personal in order to better relate to this poor boy and to all of us.
I have never actually wanted to kill myself, but I have been in a bad place a few times during pivotal & heartbreaking moments of my life, and I understand this depression. While you want someone to understand, it feels like nobody does regardless of how much they sympathize and put an arm around you. I can think of times when I would just sit and tears would just keep running hot down my face and I didn’t know how to make it stop. The pain of hopelessness is destroying.
I hope he is found; I hope he is out there and can see how many people DO know what managing these sorts of emotions can do to a person, how the weight of doing so can be suffocating - but that it is possible with the right support system. And I hope he can see that he isn’t alone. Although it’s still not where it should be, I’m grateful that mental health awareness is starting to finally become a thing.
I’m so glad you did this video for Macin! I live in Salt Lake City Utah and I’ve been following the story and his FB page since the month he went missing. Reading his mom’s daily posts on the FB page has been so incredibly sad yet eye opening. I have a teenage son and when I try to put myself in her shoes I just feel so helpless. My heart really goes out to her and I just really hope for her and the entire family to get some answers, closure and peace ver soon. You are doing amazing work with these videos and bringing awareness to these cases. I appreciate you sharing your story and experiences as well.
I'm in Orem, with family in St. George. I was downtown in SLC at a doctor's appointment the first time I saw a billboard with Macin's case. I started crying on the spot. I just hope and pray somehow his family someday gets answers. His poor mom.
Macin, you are loved! Please call your mom. The world is looking for you.
I have so much respect for you telling your story here, I'm having a similar experience and feel like I can't talk to people about it and you have made me feel so much less alone
thank you Danelle for shedding light on these cases -- it was touching to hear your story
A girl I went to school with had an older sister who’s story is very similar to this one. Her sister was struggling with gender dysphoria and depression and talked about just walking out into the woods and waiting to die. She actually was in a mental health hospital getting treatment when she checked out AMA and went into the Woods. She was later found but ultimately lost her battle to suicide about a month later. In this case, I think Macin did the same thing. The phrase I’m done and the emotions of the letter makes me think that this is what happened
paralove13 I'm so sorry for your loss xx
you are such an amazing person
I very rarely comment on videos but I felt so compelled to say this. Your personal experience hit me so hard. I’ve struggled with depression my whole life and I also experienced postpartum depression with both of my children. You’re so brave and strong for standing up for those who can no longer stand up for themselves. This video is one of the many reasons why I love your channel and your videos. ❤️
I’m so sorry you have to struggle with these things. It is so damn hard❤️ I wish you only the best!
I’m 17 and I have struggled with depression, I completely understand his mindset of wanting to just leave. I really hope he’s safe somewhere.
I have a cousin who ran away 3 times. It’s frustrating and I would too say she was selfish and heartless for leaving us worried about her, I’m glad you told your story. I see it with a different perspective ❤️💔
Thanks for sharing this. Postpartum depression it's almost a taboo subject and I feel many don't talk about it publicly because it is associated with a very happy , life changing event that is having kids. My mom suffer from this in silence because she was afraid to seek help and be classified as unfit mother and have us end up in the foster system. She also didn't seek help because she felt genuinely like a bad/ broken person whom didn't deserve help . When she had me and my other siblings she said it went all normal she was happy but my youngest sister she said she felt as if she had no connection to the baby growing inside her . Can you imagine how she fell? Now in hindsight it's all fine but maybe her knowing it was even something someone can become ill from would have made her seek the help she needed at the time .
I've been alive for a decade and a half and I understand that feeling of hope when you feel like things are going to get better, I have mild depression and major anxiety due to an issue with my body I've had since I was born. It's small and people don't think it's that damaging... hell things related to it are a huge joke on social media... I don't enjoy those because of what I've gone through, I was made fun of for it and some kids I used to go to elementary school with still make fun of me for it. I was hopeful after taking a lot of medication that I will get better. So I cut back on it. It got worst later and I was stuck in a horrible cycle, my physical and mental health was suffering because of bullying and cutting back on my medication because I was hopeful. Thanks to my mistake and those of my doctors who used to say it was a mental issue, and the people who bullied me for my issue, it will take 5 to 10 years or more to get my body back to normal, and even if it does, and even if my mental health gets better. I can't undo the past and all of these things will still haunt me... though I always remind myself that I will get better, even if it might take a long time.
Why am I sharing this you might ask? Well... I want to let people know that things will get better, even if it's hard now and it takes a long time, it will get better, please. If you are suffering from any kind of mental health/illness issues, talk to someone, get some help. Let's not have any more heartbreaking cases like this one, my heart goes out to Macin's family. Let's help bring him home and if needed, give him the proper burial he deserves...
~Rose
Rose, You are an angel. Amen 🙏🙏👍.
Danelle this has been by FAR my favorite case you’ve done. You shared your heart, opened up your soul and stood for what you feel is right no matter the consequences. I deeply respect this! This case hit home for me as well for MANY MANY MANY personal reasons and I too feel NO ONE EVER has the right to judge another when it comes to mental health especially!!! We don’t know what they suffer with! I have chronic depression and have since childhood not knowing it until I turned 30 after going through mass therapy and a horrendous breakdown. I have PTSD (have been diagnosed by multiple therapists in different states) from hardships growing up to sexual abuse as a teenager. I get pretty messed up in the head!!! I know all too well what it’s like to go so crazy inside your head that your thoughts & feelings are physically suffocating you! I battle with suicide and have since childhood. I honestly thought that was a normal thing- to loathe yourself! To feel so distorted compared to others- NEVER ENOUGH is my main struggle. Even years down the road being a mother of 5 I thought maybe I’d get passed the instability but the reality is it can switch it on with the simplest little TRIGGER. No one understands this mentality until they’ve lived it themselves! My heart aches for this young man. I too had a speech impediment growing up and got teased all the time and bullied for that and for my last name. I still have issues to this day even after over 17 yrs of marriage and the intense anxiety it brings up when ppl talk about my maiden name. Kids are so so cruel!!! I don’t really know what to think about this other than I do wonder if he wrote that letter just to get his feelings off his chest cause it is very therapeutic to do so. Also that maybe he did plan on taking a break from school that day and maybe on his way back home he became suffocated with his thoughts and feelings that connected to living at home and decided enough was enough and just left? This would explain leaving his wallet, etc. He wasn’t planning on leaving for good but ended up doing it. I hope he didn’t commit suicide but sadly yes it is an option although I feel they would’ve found him with being so tall. He could be walking far distances and staying off any grid for all we know. He wouldn’t have to hitchhike necessarily. Also does anyone know for sure he didn’t have cash on him? You don’t need your walled to carry cash in your pocket. Just my thoughts.
Sarah Swanger
He left with no wallet, no money, (he had no job,etc) no phone, no jacket, without his backpack, he's in shirtsleeves, walking great distances off the grid?
Almost an hour long vid? Yes please!!!xxx
Thank you so much for sharing this story. I'm still in the process of watching but I'm already very moved and appreciative that you're giving this case the attention it needs. We need to end bullying and treat each other with love and compassion.
from someone who has social anxiety,depression and has been hospitalized this hit me hard.
You have such a big heart Danelle and I really appreciate you telling your story. I know its hard, but you sharing has the potential to help others and thats really beautiful. Thank you for shedding light on mental illness because it really is so important.
Thank you for sharing. Damn right. Nothing infuriates me more than people thinking they know how someone will feel, behave or how deeply even the smallest things can affect people when they are already in a dark state of mind. People think they know it all. Like you said, unless you’ve felt it you can never ever know how horrible it really feels and you can’t say you wouldn’t do this or you wouldn’t do that. It’s not you’re rational mind doing the thinking. You’re just trying to not hurt anymore, to escape the cage you’re trapped in.
No one is worse off than anyone else. It just affects different people in different ways and some are more skilled at concealing it than others.
I live in California and we have so many homeless camps and the sad thing is police are constantly running them out and is always bothering the people living in them.
Kaylee Giles Too true my mother was living among them for a long time it’s sad how much the cops would harass them when they’re just trying to sleep our eat, so sad it breaks my heart.
Morgan M I know! Just leave them alone they don’t have anywhere to go. And if they aren’t making trouble let them be!! Cops needs to focus on these child molesters and rapist not homeless people sleeping.
Kaylee Giles Everything is backwards.
I have a feeling in my gut at the end when you said there was a high probability of him commiting suicide.. I just know he’s out there. I don’t think he’s passed yet. Gosh now I’m crying too... he reminds me of my cousin