Ep. 32 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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  • Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024

Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @Foreverfrys
    @Foreverfrys 4 года назад +550

    I love when Tom looks to the camera like an episode of The Office lol

    • @ajsparx4133
      @ajsparx4133 4 года назад +8

      I thought the same thing, Tom always has something clever and/or fecked up in the works

    • @blakestallings9251
      @blakestallings9251 4 года назад +5

      Burt- Karl Malone had a kid with a 13 year old.
      Tom-(looks at camera)

    • @jmp92688
      @jmp92688 4 года назад +5

      Tom is always Jimming

    • @FFRpie4thewin
      @FFRpie4thewin 4 года назад +4

      Difference between this and The Office is that this is actually funny

    • @elyeyi369
      @elyeyi369 4 года назад +1

      Yeah you love that...? Yeah mmmm yeahhh

  • @SR-kt7jc
    @SR-kt7jc 4 года назад +293

    An alternate name for "2 Bears 1 Cave" could be "Tom Gives LeeAnn a Break"

  • @shawnmcvey7789
    @shawnmcvey7789 4 года назад +89

    This friendship is built off Tom being fascinated by Bert's existence and Bert loving the attention.

  • @colin8570
    @colin8570 4 года назад +734

    Welcome to Tom trying to get Bert to admit he’s a little gay for 20 minutes 😂

  • @osnapitscamie
    @osnapitscamie 4 года назад +384

    Bert's autobiography should be titled "I'm a Little Iffy on the Facts"

    • @fatherfoopie
      @fatherfoopie 4 года назад +4

      new special title too. that would really fit him lol 😂. THE MACHINE!!!!

    • @edisinmedicine5512
      @edisinmedicine5512 4 года назад +1

      😹😹😹

    • @AcaciaApparition
      @AcaciaApparition 11 месяцев назад

      No it should just be called”FAT”

  • @MayonnaiseVenusaur
    @MayonnaiseVenusaur 4 года назад +189

    I wasn't looking at the screen and an ad came on that told the story of a girl getting killed by a drunk driver but I thought it was a drop so I listened to like 30 seconds of it waiting for Tom to bust out laughing.

  • @revmaxproductions
    @revmaxproductions 4 года назад +600

    When's the cocaine episode?

    • @thetsuba
      @thetsuba 4 года назад +26

      Isn't every day cocaine day for Bert? Dude is everywhere all the time.

    • @TheOriginalArchie
      @TheOriginalArchie 4 года назад +3

      It was last week.

    • @brodyrichard263
      @brodyrichard263 4 года назад +1

      I LIKE TO PARTY

    • @elemenz888
      @elemenz888 4 года назад +17

      Independence day would be suh-weet.
      Dress 'em up real classy, Tom in red white striped gear, Bert could get a klan hood from his closet...

    • @OldBon3s
      @OldBon3s 4 года назад +7

      I hope they actually do it but I don’t think they are brave enough to do it on the podcast and actually upload it. I wish Bert would put out the podcast with Ari when he was drugged.

  • @andrewsmicroscope
    @andrewsmicroscope 4 года назад +207

    "Casinos was a good tradeoff"
    - Bundt Krinkler on the decimation of Native Americans by white people

  • @anthony9875
    @anthony9875 4 года назад +121

    Best part of the week is when I get to hear Tom laugh so hard that he sounds like a smokers cough and Bert laughing like a squeaky toy

    • @dawsonschreiber8664
      @dawsonschreiber8664 4 года назад +2

      Just got a ad about quitting smoking. Maybe the comments alter what ads are shown?

    • @ryansouthard4929
      @ryansouthard4929 4 года назад

      Him hacking like a Lot Lizard after gobbling the knob is a beautiful thing, also similar to when you strap that same Lot Lizard to the underside of a big rig and punch the gas.

    • @jerm0402
      @jerm0402 4 года назад +2

      Dude Tom seriously has never had a full laugh come out before he starts coughing like he sleeps in asbestos.

    • @aldogarcia7385
      @aldogarcia7385 4 года назад

      Si pop no

  • @miguelsuarez-solis5027
    @miguelsuarez-solis5027 4 года назад +74

    Bert - we can drink in moderation no problem
    Dr. Drew - that's what all alcoholics say and then they lose control
    Bert a few weeks later - so I went on a 3 day bender

    • @Doc_Hawk
      @Doc_Hawk 2 года назад +1

      Yet the fight he put up about dip, my god. The ultimate tell of how in denial he is about how much of an alcoholic he is

  • @NickCorso
    @NickCorso 4 года назад +744

    I pray for Nadav after every episode

    • @damonm7118
      @damonm7118 4 года назад +17

      Its a nice schtick, adds parallels to the story of what we're watching.

    • @vampyrevixxen
      @vampyrevixxen 4 года назад +2

      Maybe off to Ryan Sickler's new endeavor. Go where on air letters to him aren't read

    • @idk-ol8ev
      @idk-ol8ev 4 года назад +14

      I cant wait to see tom elbow him in the face

    • @mattg2745
      @mattg2745 4 года назад +3

      Wait so is Tom actually trying to kill Nadav

    • @DrewishAF
      @DrewishAF 4 года назад +7

      Your prayer didnt do shit last week...

  • @CutterDriftwood
    @CutterDriftwood 4 года назад +11

    It's so fascinating how easily Tom is able to constantly lead Bert to a bottomless pit and then convince him to throw himself into it every time!! Keep up the great work guys!!

  • @ERRBERR
    @ERRBERR 4 года назад +331

    The only thing potentially connecting Bert to Nirvana is he might die from his life choices before I get to see him live.

    • @benh266
      @benh266 4 года назад +1

      U made me snort up my drink lol

    • @juztenable
      @juztenable 4 года назад +4

      I just can't wait for the conspiracy that Leann actually killed him.

    • @smithyshrimp7935
      @smithyshrimp7935 4 года назад

      👹💥

    • @boofert.washington2499
      @boofert.washington2499 4 года назад +1

      How is this not the top comment? I chuckled like a retarded squirrel for a straight minute.

    • @Goldenbaba430
      @Goldenbaba430 4 года назад

      Damn you reached elbow deep for that one

  • @conorthatguy
    @conorthatguy 4 года назад +17

    Glad to see Bert has such an affinity for history. "Custard's last stand," "they allowed us to feel how custard must have felt".
    How does custard feel Bert? Does it feel good?!

  • @randonolso
    @randonolso 4 года назад +201

    Bert try’s to interrupt his audiobook I bet to tell stories about his life instead.

    • @chrisashey2122
      @chrisashey2122 4 года назад +2

      How high were you when you attempted this sentence?

  • @jennhansonxlove
    @jennhansonxlove 4 года назад +31

    Tom: whats a cocktail for you? Bert: at least a bottle of wine. 🤣

  • @newyorknole2225
    @newyorknole2225 4 года назад +129

    Bert: "I've been feeling how everyone else is feeling."
    Now imagine if you didnt have a home gym and a pool

    • @mimigiggles4199
      @mimigiggles4199 4 года назад +14

      He has to have a pool, pool showers.

    • @paulcarmi8130
      @paulcarmi8130 4 года назад +10

      "I understand that a lot of people are out of work and struggling, but a vacation sounds kind of nice"
      -Bert, probably

    • @j.cmcinroe3989
      @j.cmcinroe3989 2 года назад

      He works his ass off for that though don't cry like a baby

    • @newyorknole2225
      @newyorknole2225 2 года назад

      @@j.cmcinroe3989 this podcast was released during a time when the vast majority of the country were forced to stay home and not work. Gyms and public pools were closed down and workout equipment was impossible to find. So saying "ive been feeling how everyone else has been feeling" when everyone was struggling with being forced inside with no way to better their situation was kind of a low blow.
      That being said i still love bert and the stupid shit he says.

  • @gabethompkins5992
    @gabethompkins5992 4 года назад +6

    God damn, I needed a laugh right now. Thank you Tom and Bert for being a light in these incredibly dark times.

  • @shadykadry
    @shadykadry 4 года назад +202

    Listen jack, an hour and 22 minutes is just NOT enough.

    • @dylanrichardson764
      @dylanrichardson764 4 года назад +14

      Listen at .5 speed. twice as long

    • @brodyrichard263
      @brodyrichard263 4 года назад +2

      @@dylanrichardson764 great point sir

    • @hazeofthegreensmoke505
      @hazeofthegreensmoke505 4 года назад +6

      Especially with 22 minutes of ads

    • @chrisbrooks280
      @chrisbrooks280 4 года назад +2

      @@hazeofthegreensmoke505 amen... That's a fact I'll get behind all podcasts are getting way too ridiculous. I remember when RUclips first came out how much more simple it was. In four years they'll be 50 different ways to spend money on what was supposed to be a free video app. Patreon and everything else. What a joke. the bigger joke is the people that actually pay for them and think they're getting anything besides a waste of their life.

    • @hazeofthegreensmoke505
      @hazeofthegreensmoke505 4 года назад +2

      @@chrisbrooks280 especially when unemployment is the highest it's ever been. Like another comment said, how am I supposed to buy a $1500 mattress when we don't have jobs? But standups/ musicians are out of work right now too I guess.

  • @buddhasoul
    @buddhasoul 4 года назад +3

    Tom- "cause you'll start taking the story in your own direction?" 10:07 I laughed so hard and Bert didn't even notice

  • @BigbyOShaunessy
    @BigbyOShaunessy 4 года назад +125

    Burnt Chrysler: I wish I could remember all the shit I did with the Travel Channel!
    Me: Hey Burnt! Isn’t it recorded?

    • @leathery420
      @leathery420 4 года назад +1

      It is, but then most of it wouldn't make it into the episodes and they aren't just going to give burnt the unedited tapes if they still exist.

    • @mrsglazadonut1398
      @mrsglazadonut1398 4 года назад +1

      Bolshoi Chyelovek it’s okay bud, I got your joke 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @amyjordan2162
    @amyjordan2162 4 года назад +4

    The pointed ass look Bert gave when tom asked "are you a fast reader?" LMFAOOOOO

  • @RDSwords
    @RDSwords 4 года назад +234

    Bart doesn't need a Saatva bed. He just sleeps in the pool and the chlorine takes care of it.

    • @rayjenkins5832
      @rayjenkins5832 4 года назад +4

      No. Filburt Chrysler is the one that's going bald.

    • @TacoNation14
      @TacoNation14 4 года назад +1

      @@rayjenkins5832Oh! I see, haha I thought Frisky Brysler was the hairy guy

  • @fuzzmaster77
    @fuzzmaster77 4 года назад +11

    "Let's do a 2 Bears, Red Cave, 1 Man Cave!" -Berf

  • @matthewthompson4087
    @matthewthompson4087 4 года назад +433

    Bert is looking super slim, and by slim, I mean racist

  • @KevinZahner
    @KevinZahner 4 года назад +13

    “Custard’s” last stand. Must have been delicious. Bert’s ignorance is why I love him.

  • @LetsGoMakeMistakes
    @LetsGoMakeMistakes 4 года назад +48

    2:54 Starts

  • @THELaserApple
    @THELaserApple 4 года назад +27

    Bert I thought of a way you can measure your sobriety;
    ( (Days sober) / (Total days) ) x 100 = Percent sober
    For example: 67 days sober out of 73 total days would be 91.7% sober

  • @ozgore82
    @ozgore82 4 года назад +28

    I love watching Brent trying to read the ads at the top of the show. In Top Dog's voice: "Slow down and sound it out buddy, okay?"

  • @2m7b5
    @2m7b5 4 года назад +19

    Say what you want about Bert's questionable sobriety, he played a big role in helping me quit drinking. I'm almost 50 days off alcohol and I feel great.

    • @TheMontague0403
      @TheMontague0403 4 года назад +2

      Me too! I've only drank 39 of the 50 last days! 50 days sober baby!

    • @jeremymackevincaylor5041
      @jeremymackevincaylor5041 Год назад

      Damn that's awesome I'm reading this in 2023 and I really hope that you are doing well and still not drinking

  • @patricklayne255
    @patricklayne255 4 года назад +220

    Bert getting a dui on a bike is the most bert thing ever

    • @jansenmanson9660
      @jansenmanson9660 4 года назад +2

      Patrick Layne my friends dad got one on a mountain bike at 2 am lol 😂

    • @cam12freer
      @cam12freer 4 года назад +1

      My dad too lol

    • @biglicker4473
      @biglicker4473 4 года назад +2

      Oh my gosh 😂 my dad also got a dui on his bike i always assumed it was a lie he told me but damn i owe him an apology after seeing this thread

    • @teflonpipe7477
      @teflonpipe7477 4 года назад

      Where in the vid is this

    • @basicallyalandershowitz
      @basicallyalandershowitz 4 года назад

      Isn't that legal tho?

  • @RolandSpecialSauce
    @RolandSpecialSauce 4 года назад +48

    Bert: "I took an outdoor shower"
    Which means he jumped in the pool.

    • @MrStrangeSensation
      @MrStrangeSensation 4 года назад +7

      I pictured him covered in vomit holding a garden hose

    • @Brian-un6xj
      @Brian-un6xj 4 года назад +5

      Really? From the man that refers to a bottle of wine as a "cocktail"?
      Sorry, you're totally right.

  • @CadChamberlain
    @CadChamberlain 4 года назад +130

    Tom: "You wanna do an episode in blackface"
    Bert immediately: *"Yeah"*

    • @MidwesternFilthMixes
      @MidwesternFilthMixes 4 года назад +2

      Might not be a good time for that lol

    • @MrJ-ro1yr
      @MrJ-ro1yr 4 года назад +1

      @@MidwesternFilthMixes its the prefect time for it. Thats what comedy is all about. Q

    • @421less1
      @421less1 4 года назад

      "Alright bert, get your make up on and meet me here next week"

  • @ljcarthan3504
    @ljcarthan3504 4 года назад +1

    Before the quarantine .never heard of either of these guys. Now I consider their pod cast must see TV, seen the specials and read Bert's book. Actually binged the 1st 30 episodes in less than a week. So excited that a new episode has dropped.

  • @pinhighdiscdyes
    @pinhighdiscdyes 4 года назад +141

    Tom in the ad describing the bed he just got as “the one that sits up for you” is the fattest way to describe something I’ve ever heard

    • @cocolynch8287
      @cocolynch8287 4 года назад +15

      Feel like it's also a nod to his Netflix special "Disgraceful", he has a bit about seeing the same TV advert everywhere that advertises the bed that sits up for you😂

    • @matguerra333
      @matguerra333 4 года назад

      huh? why are you listening to ads A, B No.

    • @pinhighdiscdyes
      @pinhighdiscdyes 4 года назад +2

      Mat Guerra because I’m not sitting next to my phone/computer waiting to skip it like your pathetic ass. Some of us still have jobs to do, weird huh?

  • @moderndaydodo
    @moderndaydodo 4 года назад +2

    49:50 made the mistake of listening to this during my workout and almost dropped the dumbbells on my head from laughing

  • @m.c.doublestudios
    @m.c.doublestudios 4 года назад +145

    of course Brent would think it's "Custard's Last Stand"

    • @Pokerdude38
      @Pokerdude38 4 года назад +3

      Idiot couldn't even pronounce Mustard correctly 😂

    • @Mrbink01
      @Mrbink01 4 года назад

      He's a total mush-mouth

    • @Pokerdude38
      @Pokerdude38 4 года назад

      Air duster's last stand

    • @gooburt
      @gooburt 4 года назад +1

      @@Mrbink01 mush-mouth yuck-mouth

  • @collinweyand9293
    @collinweyand9293 4 года назад +2

    1:14:13 I died when they both looked at each other at the same time🤣🤣

  • @Neeboopsh
    @Neeboopsh 4 года назад +146

    tom: its gross when people have to point out that they love their spouse
    also tom: makes beer commercial to let everyone know he loves christine

    • @TimTrOn3000
      @TimTrOn3000 4 года назад +4

      Only because toasting bert would have been too gay

    • @erikch5752
      @erikch5752 4 года назад +20

      It's different if you do it for money maybe

    • @Billy-hr6wk
      @Billy-hr6wk 4 года назад +3

      Its was a national beer campaign. Probably a business move to bring more fans to the Segura household

    • @SatomiForward
      @SatomiForward 4 года назад +2

      Tom's the same guy then to wear supreme but in the same breath say fuck supreme

    • @johnnyblazze473
      @johnnyblazze473 4 года назад

      He talks about it in one of the YMH episodes

  • @taylorlaviolette8209
    @taylorlaviolette8209 4 года назад +8

    I've watched 32 episodes and every time I hear "12 years.." in the intro I fully expect Bart to say "...a slave"

  • @1skys1
    @1skys1 4 года назад +54

    wait till bert learns about white claws he'll say it's just water and have them 24/7

    • @CountDoucheula
      @CountDoucheula 4 года назад +2

      Doesn't it contain estrogen or some shit?

    • @Jiujitsuguitarguy
      @Jiujitsuguitarguy 4 года назад +4

      my grandfather did that. rips whiteclaws and trulys all day... fucking legend

  • @lordfordification
    @lordfordification 4 года назад +17

    Powerful Jamie from JRE needs to train Nidave.

  • @Goonisms
    @Goonisms 4 года назад +42

    Tom trying to get B to question his sexuality 😂. Bort almost cracked.

  • @SkylerGrahamHenry
    @SkylerGrahamHenry 4 года назад +26

    So excited for Burnt’s upcoming special “All Lives Matter”

  • @NickCorso
    @NickCorso 4 года назад +70

    “Do you think Native Americans get too much respect?” Tom is taking over Bert’s role in the podcast

    • @jamesmason7979
      @jamesmason7979 4 года назад +10

      I think he was just trying to bait Bert, because Bert cut him off at the beginning of the episode. 😂

  • @carmensperry7095
    @carmensperry7095 Год назад

    I ❤ how Bert will absolutely know something and in the same breath state "I might have made that up"😂

  • @fogdiver
    @fogdiver 4 года назад +109

    A Manscaped ad-spot where Bert shaves Tom with Manscape products, while Tom shaves Bart with generic Walmart garbage, has the potential for being the greatest ad-spot ever.

    • @Awesometrax
      @Awesometrax 4 года назад +4

      Especially if it's done like the "all Bert did was make my tits look bigger" video. Along with Bert laughing so hard he almost has a stroke.

  • @806texan
    @806texan 4 года назад +37

    Bert is literally in love with Whitney, and would totally leave his wife for her

    • @henricrepin9397
      @henricrepin9397 4 года назад +2

      Yeah it's so obvious haha

    • @dankmheems290
      @dankmheems290 4 года назад +8

      She can hold her own with the bro culture and is really funny and super pretty, I imagine there are a lot of shy comedians around her.

    • @Mclovin69420
      @Mclovin69420 3 года назад +5

      @@dankmheems290 she not gonna date you bro ...

    • @katiebee7457
      @katiebee7457 3 года назад

      100% I didn’t realize how much Christy Mack looked like Whitney

  • @marycallahan2334
    @marycallahan2334 4 года назад +100

    Bert’s life insurance policy must be insanely expensive. He has just about every high risk.
    Frequent flyer, Hi BP, cigar smoker, high cholesterol, fatty liver, binge drinking alcoholic.
    His memory is poor because his brain has been pickled the majority of his life. Pity.

    • @alwaysfresh3727
      @alwaysfresh3727 4 года назад +25

      Mary Callahan and hes a nazi

    • @carynmartin6053
      @carynmartin6053 4 года назад +3

      I think that's more just an image

    • @ZMB-on5ub
      @ZMB-on5ub 4 года назад +7

      @@alwaysfresh3727 The average Nazi died young in the trenches. That's why it hikes the rate up. The antisemitism and gypsy executions are just Brent being Bart.

    • @jacked4121
      @jacked4121 4 года назад +1

      I had a wonderful teacher in high school named Mary Callan your name made me do a double take, but to quote the late racist Brat “Uh hundred percent”

    • @Randsel
      @Randsel 4 года назад +1

      Frequent Flyer isnt a high risk for insurance. Spot on everything else though lol

  • @downerlane
    @downerlane 4 года назад +122

    I can't believe his name is actually Albert.

    • @salehabushatara6447
      @salehabushatara6447 4 года назад

      iAMhonka lmao omg

    • @Pacific_Norfweest
      @Pacific_Norfweest 4 года назад +5

      @@RickR69 They told him he was too racist for that name.

    • @jackjenkins5160
      @jackjenkins5160 4 года назад +7

      It is actually his middle name.. Fat is his first name.

    • @mandyspaswick7116
      @mandyspaswick7116 4 года назад

      @@jackjenkins5160 and I were thinking we should go ahead and ask him if he can get it for you for a couple weeks before we get there to see you again for your patience and help to ensure we are safe

  • @ThornyWo1f
    @ThornyWo1f 4 года назад +2

    The reason I watch 2 Bears 1 Cave is to see Bert digging his grave breaking his shovel and Tom handling him a new shovel every time.

  • @miguelsuarez-solis5027
    @miguelsuarez-solis5027 4 года назад +3

    Bert... They were on horses, we're on horses... So we were on motorcycles lol

  • @aaronpeart
    @aaronpeart 4 года назад +44

    "I'm reading a book - well audiobook" is the Bertest thing ever

    • @wking8
      @wking8 4 года назад +3

      Next to, "I had a cocktail, a bottle of wine".

    • @TheKnutification
      @TheKnutification 4 года назад +8

      Nah stolen valor from JRE

    • @Christopher-md7tf
      @Christopher-md7tf 4 года назад

      Aaron Peart He‘s a slow reader, even with his ears

    • @mingywantwingy1379
      @mingywantwingy1379 4 года назад +1

      Rogan did it first

    • @Born2BDown1981
      @Born2BDown1981 4 года назад

      He’s a member of the Joe Rogan book club.

  • @angelasamells3511
    @angelasamells3511 4 года назад

    I laugh at hearing the guy laughing in the background as much as you guys. 😂😂
    🇨🇦🤗

  • @h.g.8946
    @h.g.8946 4 года назад +72

    Tom and Bert trying to get me to buy a 1500 dollar mattress.
    Me: "You get we dont have jobs, right?" 🤣🌋🤷🏾‍♂️👍🏾

    • @nicelydone4846
      @nicelydone4846 4 года назад +12

      Did you make a video submission? Ymh is giving away a free satva! Get your tit cups out and try it out

    • @RB-mk7ph
      @RB-mk7ph 4 года назад +1

      Nicely Done tit cup gang!

    • @dectocs
      @dectocs 4 года назад

      pls there are always shit tons of blue collar jobs in the summer open that pay 25-80k for 6 months; oil fields, cell phone towers, pool digging, trucking, etc. no reason not to have a job in general or during quarantine if you’re low on funds

    • @tofuisnotfood3348
      @tofuisnotfood3348 4 года назад

      They are doing a contest where you can win any mattress they offer. Just send it to yourmomspodcast@gmail.com
      In the subject like put saatva.
      Needs to be a video less than 45 seconds on why you deserve a new mattress.

  • @BZEDAKING
    @BZEDAKING 4 года назад

    I almost shit myself when Whitney said I must have you blocked 😂🤣

  • @Kris_Toffer
    @Kris_Toffer 4 года назад +18

    2:19 for intro, 2:54 for episode.
    34:10 for first ad break, 58:45 for second ad break.

  • @LTKK
    @LTKK 4 года назад +45

    Bert thinks that casinos make up for the horrible things that happened to Native Americans. Classic Bert.

  • @aroff595
    @aroff595 4 года назад +79

    Can't believe Bert is moving to Minneapolis for a new job. Hopefully he drops by Acme when he's not on patrol.

  • @johnnevitt948
    @johnnevitt948 4 года назад +3

    Toms head in his hand is the appropriate reaction to most of what Bert says

  • @Jrenegade1
    @Jrenegade1 4 года назад +53

    Holding my breathe for Bert's comments this week...

    • @omarcruz2029
      @omarcruz2029 4 года назад +3

      I've been thinking the same thing ALL WEEK!

    • @GapedCeiling
      @GapedCeiling 4 года назад +1

      I will be commenting with my favorites here

    • @anonymous42087
      @anonymous42087 4 года назад +2

      I think they recorded this the day before everything started

    • @brodyrichard263
      @brodyrichard263 4 года назад +1

      Rest in peace then brother

    • @Jrenegade1
      @Jrenegade1 4 года назад

      @@anonymous42087Live to die another day

  • @holtzter1229
    @holtzter1229 4 года назад

    The phone call with Whitney was hilarious!! Please do that more often.

  • @xXMagicTurdXx
    @xXMagicTurdXx 4 года назад +66

    Hello this is captain Marcel. My sister went down. I'm going down into the mountain, to save my sister. Tell everybody I'll be back. I need back up. I'll see you later, bye. I gotta save my sister, bye. This is captain Marcel, bye-bye.

    • @Mike-om4tv
      @Mike-om4tv 4 года назад +11

      NOW THERES A COOL GUYYYY *guitar riff*

    • @brodyrichard263
      @brodyrichard263 4 года назад +9

      DRINK PLENTY OF WATER, ITS HOT OUTSIDE.....
      BYE!!!

    • @ryanmaclachlan7087
      @ryanmaclachlan7087 4 года назад +2

      Let us know if you start having chest paaaain!!!!

    • @Jason5000
      @Jason5000 4 года назад +1

      Cool Pedestrian 😂😂

    • @frankkurtz1921
      @frankkurtz1921 4 года назад +2

      COME ON DOWN LATER FOR MOOSE SOUP!

  • @LeBeren
    @LeBeren 4 года назад +7

    This should be called “Dos comadres y el chisme”

  • @jonusliles5767
    @jonusliles5767 4 года назад +62

    Berts next special, “difficult at dinner parties”

    • @supernovamimosa
      @supernovamimosa 4 года назад

      i read your comment right as he first said that

    • @zachsnyder482
      @zachsnyder482 4 года назад

      Same

    • @Doorito_
      @Doorito_ 4 года назад

      @@supernovamimosa i swear youtube makes that happen, it happens all the time for me. its like whn ads first starting listening through the mics

  • @TFrail
    @TFrail 4 года назад

    Not even 20 minutes in and this is already one of the funniest episodes yet. "Because of who I am and my ideology." 😂

  • @MrNUBBYONE
    @MrNUBBYONE 4 года назад +31

    Everytime Brent said “custard” I had to pause it for laughter

    • @Stephen_Eee
      @Stephen_Eee 4 года назад

      Just started it.. now I cant wait🙂

    • @tapiture3720
      @tapiture3720 4 года назад +1

      The great General Custard and his friend Lieutenant Licorice

    • @anthonymiller934
      @anthonymiller934 4 года назад

      @@tapiture3720 hahahaha

  • @andy2069
    @andy2069 4 года назад +16

    Just mentions japan: empire of the sun... It's about native Americans.
    Um., Empire of the summer moon?

  • @nathanwolff6302
    @nathanwolff6302 4 года назад +27

    Remember when Tom ran Bert's "moderation" plan by Dr Drew, and Drew said "people have tried, but the issue is the breaks between get shorter and shorter, then you're back where you started". Bert rolled his eyes and acted like he knew better, and now he's drinking a bottle of wine 3 nights a week.

    • @nicelydone4846
      @nicelydone4846 4 года назад +5

      I tried this exact same thing. I was using drugs at 19 and I couldnt focus on school. At first it was only on the weekends. Then it was half days. Eventually it was everyday. I took a class that was for social work/psychology. The book had a chapter about rehab and sobriety programs. Everyone knows about programs like aa that preach abstinence. One program was about using in moderation! I cant remember the name of the program. Lol I couldnt focus on school so I dropped out and went to rehab. My life was completely taken over by my addiction. It's all I could think about.
      Edit: I just wanted to add that there are functioning alcoholics or functioning addicts. I think some people are successful despite their addiction. These people are hard to treat, or so I've been told by doctors. They dont suffer consequences. I had a regional manager that was a functioning addict. He shot herion everyday! Hed show up to work. Do everything he was supposed to. He is well liked by most everyone. His work never suffered. Hes actually still moving up in the company. It's pretty interesting how some people can function like that. He has a successful marriage and just had a kid.

    • @raf69777
      @raf69777 4 года назад +4

      @@nicelydone4846 shooting heroin everyday whilst having a family and progressing in your career? They should make a documentary about this guy lol.

    • @carynmartin6053
      @carynmartin6053 4 года назад +1

      I believe it! I am an opiate addict on a program that substitutes the heroin w suboxone, for twenty years. But when I was using heroin and had it every day bc I sold it, I looked and felt great and my mother said she was so proud of how well I was doing! Even my kids said they liked me better then. Heroin addicts that have a steady supply and don't overdo it can live long healthy happy stress free lives

    • @justinxpwsane
      @justinxpwsane 4 года назад

      A bottle of wine ain’t shit to an alcoholic. 25oz of 10%-14%? I could do that for breakfast

    • @Bigohno0
      @Bigohno0 4 года назад

      @@carynmartin6053 Pretty much same situation for me

  • @inertiaMS
    @inertiaMS 4 года назад

    4:30 that noise made me think we're on a submarine for a second there

  • @brownguy903
    @brownguy903 4 года назад +31

    I've never felt more suspense than waiting for Bert's take on George Floyd

    • @professorxaviour3649
      @professorxaviour3649 4 года назад

      Time stamp?

    • @brownguy903
      @brownguy903 4 года назад

      Jerry Cammon non existent, yet at least

    • @hunterthompson6295
      @hunterthompson6295 4 года назад

      @@brownguy903 this was filmed over a week ago. It wont be in this episode. They are just now talking about Jimmy Fallon doing blackface.

  • @sarahwhatwhystop
    @sarahwhatwhystop 4 года назад

    Thank you for not murdering Bert. The looks 😂

  • @KidBaklava504
    @KidBaklava504 4 года назад +44

    When is Bert going to remake DW Griffith’s “The Birth of a Nation?”

  • @Erika11Garcia
    @Erika11Garcia 4 года назад +2

    This was the funniest episode I’ve heard in a while.
    “Imagine if all those guys finished in you?” LMFAO WTF IS GOING ON TOM

  • @jg8366
    @jg8366 4 года назад +113

    Having ads every 5 minutes is super low and loose, Jean.

    • @moisescisneros2011
      @moisescisneros2011 4 года назад +15

      If you fast forward your video all the way to the end and restart the vid, it'll erase the ads bro.

    • @jimhall3856
      @jimhall3856 4 года назад

      J G well put

    • @jg8366
      @jg8366 4 года назад +11

      @@moisescisneros2011 I'm trying to feather it chomo I ain't got time for that shit!

    • @patarackboudreaux109
      @patarackboudreaux109 4 года назад +1

      I’m beginning to suspect that Nadav is responsible for this injustice, we must at last find a solution to this problem.

    • @MindBlown720
      @MindBlown720 4 года назад +5

      Sometimes it isnt authorised by the channel, Chris Delia had the same thing happen to one of his vids recently and was complaining about it

  • @-tattooedxsneakrhead-5402
    @-tattooedxsneakrhead-5402 4 года назад

    Bert and Tom you guys are the best podcast / comedians ever man I swear. I’m having a baby with my beautiful wife in July it’s my first and with all this stuff going on in the world my anxiety is at an all time high but you guys get me through it every time thank you! Stay safe!

  • @OPAIK
    @OPAIK 4 года назад +85

    Tom: “So they did the names out of order at graduation?”
    Bert: “Yeah, swear to god.”
    Tom: Stares into camera

    • @janoycres
      @janoycres 4 года назад +9

      For once Bert makes sense. Most colleges don't seat alphabetically you just walk up and hand a card to someone on stage and they read in the order you arrive at the stage.

    • @Somegoy
      @Somegoy 4 года назад

      My last name begins with K and I was the first one to walk in HS. My buddies started with an R and he was right next to me

    • @OPAIK
      @OPAIK 4 года назад

      FealSmart wow times change. Wasn’t like that for me at all back in ‘08

  • @krystinakaercher9835
    @krystinakaercher9835 4 года назад

    You guys hands down are my 2 favorite comedians 😍

  • @michaelgoodrich9244
    @michaelgoodrich9244 4 года назад +33

    Chapelle did white face and was one of the best sketches ever could care less. " Is that your lightsaber i smell" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @gonufc
      @gonufc 4 года назад +3

      "Could care less". Think through what you wanted to say. Now consider the words you used.

    • @professorxaviour3649
      @professorxaviour3649 4 года назад

      Their is no such thing as whiteface!

    • @michaelgoodrich9244
      @michaelgoodrich9244 4 года назад +2

      @@professorxaviour3649 ok then what would you like me to call it when a black man puts white make up on his face?

    • @hunterthompson6295
      @hunterthompson6295 4 года назад +1

      @@gonufc keep dancing on your lil Gramar Nazi strings you puppet. 👯‍♀️👯‍♀️

    • @Ramboskates85
      @Ramboskates85 4 года назад

      Good old Chuck Taylor reporting for the news

  • @davidlee3046
    @davidlee3046 4 года назад

    "BE A SCUMBAG LET'S GO" 😂😂😂 fucking love Whitney

  • @itsprimoonthebeat4489
    @itsprimoonthebeat4489 4 года назад +14

    Bluebans Laughter in the background makes me laugh even harder.

    • @Bigohno0
      @Bigohno0 4 года назад

      Someone says this every episode 😂

    • @TimTrOn3000
      @TimTrOn3000 4 года назад

      Me too

  • @MongoLikeBeer
    @MongoLikeBeer 4 года назад +7

    Me: "Bert could not be any more stupid, even if he applied great effort."
    Bert: "I think I was doing sleep apnea."
    Me: *Siiiiiiiiiigh*

  • @Doorito_
    @Doorito_ 4 года назад +112

    1 hour of content and 20 minutes of ads! That’s worse than cable

    • @Simon-ku7ky
      @Simon-ku7ky 4 года назад +21

      content is putting it nicely too ahahaha

    • @sethbranch3923
      @sethbranch3923 4 года назад +7

      SOOO many ads!

    • @chrisc7898
      @chrisc7898 4 года назад +11

      Seemed like commercial interupted by a pod cast😂

    • @patarackboudreaux109
      @patarackboudreaux109 4 года назад +11

      ad reads on top of the incessant RUclips commercials. No thanks! P.S. The thought of post apocalypse Burt, trudging across a desert wasteland, shirtless and laughing at his own jokes...it makes me smile. I like that.

    • @joshwoosley2779
      @joshwoosley2779 4 года назад +5

      You pay for cable. This is free. So pay for ad block or shut the Ffffffront 🚪

  • @cameronchavez9687
    @cameronchavez9687 4 года назад

    This is my new favorite podcast

  • @kamalrasheed2656
    @kamalrasheed2656 4 года назад +5

    Serious asf, “you wanna do an episode of this show in black face” died laughing

    • @matthewfaul452
      @matthewfaul452 4 года назад

      Tim's all in with his Snoopy black face shirt.

  • @rebeccazinsley1589
    @rebeccazinsley1589 4 года назад +1

    Bert at 51:09 is what I’ve been waiting for for 32 episodes

  • @Flynn94
    @Flynn94 4 года назад +15

    One day in the middle of a story about how he drank four beers and embarrassed his wife Bert is just gonna break down into inconsolable tears and the camera will slowly pan to a grinning Tom before cutting to black.

  • @jcw231
    @jcw231 4 года назад

    The stabbin cabin comic that bought the house for the girl he doesn't wanna live with has got to be Russell Peters 😆

  • @tannerpringle9777
    @tannerpringle9777 4 года назад +47

    “You know what we need? We need an incel”

    • @Christopher-md7tf
      @Christopher-md7tf 4 года назад +3

      Tantan Pandabear I really thought he was just going to leave it there without any further explanation 😆

    • @shamma1354
      @shamma1354 4 года назад +6

      To be fair that’s half of their fanbase anyways

    • @biglicker4473
      @biglicker4473 4 года назад

      @@shamma1354 i fear i may be one just because idk what that word means haha

    • @inFiniteTraCer
      @inFiniteTraCer 4 года назад

      Is it bad I thought to apply immediately?

    • @_ralph9524
      @_ralph9524 4 года назад +1

      inFiniteTraCer yes

  • @gunbirdx
    @gunbirdx 4 года назад +36

    “Until Brendan Schaub is single again”.... yikes lol

  • @jopo7996
    @jopo7996 4 года назад +38

    Bert's not racist. I wish everyone would stop saying that. He's a gentle and generous man. Why else would he donate 1000 pairs of kneepads to the Minneapolis police force?
    Edit (this is a horribly tasteless joke, but is aimed at racism, not the victim. I hope the cop that murdered Mr Floyd gets many years behind bars, as well as his colleagues)

    • @neverlistentome
      @neverlistentome 4 года назад

      Thank you for coming with an actual joke. I can't stand all these people that think if they just call him racist they are funny...

    • @shoonger001
      @shoonger001 4 года назад

      @@neverlistentome because it is.

    • @boofert.washington2499
      @boofert.washington2499 4 года назад +2

      Never apologize for a joke.

    • @LilLou97
      @LilLou97 4 года назад +1

      God you two are the exact reason why people say sensitive. Like it’s funny to call Bert racist, when MOST of his fan base knows he’s not. Like if you’re upset about this. Pffffft guess you haven’t heard of the Big Gay Owl/Mandragon

  • @dinkster9794
    @dinkster9794 4 года назад

    at 51:09 i was eating and had a great big appetite, well that's gone now hahahaha

  • @JacobGoodwinMusic
    @JacobGoodwinMusic 4 года назад +18

    9:32 “Conspmensment speech”

  • @TheNinjaBees
    @TheNinjaBees 4 года назад +2

    God damn that Whitney call was amazing

  • @dafatboy101
    @dafatboy101 4 года назад +21

    New rule for the drinking game: Take a shot every time Bart says “my brain”

  • @odu2014
    @odu2014 4 года назад +1

    20:41 the face you make when someone is lying straight to your face

  • @goldencheese7247
    @goldencheese7247 4 года назад +2

    13:10 "Custards last stand"
    Beeeeeeeert🙈🙉

  • @smokinbonez420
    @smokinbonez420 4 года назад +30

    Kinda weird that the last half hour of this podcast was just burt krichser kneeling on a guys neck but overall good episode

  • @rebeccajames8136
    @rebeccajames8136 4 года назад +1

    Love you guys ! I listen to you guys while I scrub nasty ass toilets all day. You guys make it fun . Clients think I'm crazy cause of the laugh attacks you guys give me 😂. You guys should do an episode of NEVER HAVE I EVER. but no drinking . Just explain yourselves lol I think it be sweet to hear .

  • @trevorcarlisle5447
    @trevorcarlisle5447 4 года назад +23

    Bert's next special "Difficult at dinner parties"

    •  4 года назад

      Reminder to all watching that killing Policemen in the United States is totally fine.