I’m 100% on Lorelai’s side. She told them from day 1 that as soon as she was able to she would pay them back. On top of that, Emily lorded the loan over Lorelai’s head to control her and force a relationship with her. I understand Emily’s feeling why she needs to feel the need to take the choice from her, but that doesn’t make it okay.
My parents grew up in a culture where family members give each other money all the time, with no expectation of getting paid back. I remember my mother being appalled at Lorelai's behavior here. She said Lorelai was mean to deprive her parents of the pleasure of paying for Chilton with no strings attached, Rory being their only granddaughter and all. As a teenager, I sided with Lorelai here, but as an adult, I recognize that her hyper-independence and stubborn refusal to swallow her pride or be in debt to her parents for ANYTHING are signs of unresolved trauma that she should have addressed in therapy long ago.
I think Emily blew this all out of proportion. I understand her being worried, but this would've been a good time for her to just be honest and express that she just wants to spend time with her daughter, no strings attached.
I think Emily overreacts because Lorelai wasn’t in their lives at all until she needed the money for Chilton. It’s the hurt that was buried that came up uncontrollably. Lorelai actually did not say that she would continue to come to dinner as she returned the money. Emily needs that assurance.
except she never does that, and NO ONE calls her on it. Just like Lorelai always does sarcastic escalation instead of genuine deescalation. They both lash out at each other in their own way instead of talking shit out. It's incredibly immature of both of them and on repeat watchings of this show it becomes progressively more annoying
She did, but unfortunately, despite shading and trying to talk down to each other, constantly, the Gilmore were BAD at communication. Like the time Emily gaslit Lorelai after Trix was planning on giving Rory millions of dollars in tuition money. She could've talked, but they didn't. She and Richard had many chances to reconcile with Lorelai, but they never did. The fact that it took 8 seasons to get Lorelai and Emily in therapy says ALOT.
Emily definitely felt holding that over Lorelai’s head was the only way Lorelai would willingly spend time with her. That’s why she freaked out like that. That makes me sad. She couldn’t have just said “Hey you will still come over and spend time with us, right?” She didn’t have to alienate Lorelai like this.
This woman had a cake with candles lit for her daughter’s birthday and she doesn’t even allow her own daughter to blow out her own candles and she calls her childish for wanting to? This woman is toxic as hell
Classic sign of how abusive of a mother she was. Lorelai has constantly reminded them sonce Day 1 that se owed the. They agreed to the arrangement because Richard and Emily were to be financially involved in Rory's life and pay for her prep school education. Even Emily, in the beginning, started to hold it over her own daughter's head to blackmail her. She didn't think Emily would get upset over oaying back a loan. The pain they inflicted on Lorelai since she was a child was too much for her to handle so she left. She was free of that pain. And for them to not once apologize for the way the treated her, it's intolerable. It took them fifteen and a half years to get her back into their house and begin a relationship with her and her daughter and every time she tried meeting them halfway, they clobbered her with this childish behavior. What is so wrong with being grateful for a loan and delivering on your promise to pay it back? That's how adulthood works. Emily was childish and selfish as usual. Lorelai kept her word and she resents her for it. Throughout these 3 seasons, she's come over to their house because she wants to, not as an obligation
I’m actually a bit disappointed how this plot point panned out because it was such an amazing opportunity for growth from both Emily and Lorelei. Emily needed to learn how to have a relationship without strings and without control with her daughter, and it would have been AMAZING to see Lorelei actually want to spend time with her parents. It is instead solved by the basically the original agreement being put back and place and no development at all. It feels wasted.
I guess they did that because they just wanted the show to keep going, and friday night dinnners as part of an agreement is a core aspect of the show. But you're not wrong. They totally could still do Friday night dinners, but have them because Loralai wanted it. After rewatching it, it would've been great if the revival focused on Loralai and Emily bonding over motherhood, and teaming up to helo Rory find her way.
okay maybe giving them the check at the birthday dinner was wrong, but lets not act like if she had done it any other day or in any other way Emily wouldn't have been just as upset, I don't understand why they all just accept that they have to cater to Emilys feelings cus she"LL overreact like a child
I understand the feeling of hating borrowing money from a person. Lorelei was saving up every day towards paying them back. It was never her intention not to. Even if she has a "good relationship" with her parents, I feel like she would still not want to owe them that much money because she is an independent person and she will always hold a grudge against them. Emily wants to actually feel like a mother and grandmother. She doesn't want to "loan" her family money. She wants to be seen as an equal that can provide for her family without strings attached like some stranger. That's what hurts her. Both sides are wrong. Lorelei should respect her parents more but she obviously has some kind of trauma. If richard and emily are truly older and wiser they should find a way to have a heartfelt talk with lorelei and correct the past, but they never do. What I'll never understand about Emily is that she treats Lorelei like shit but values her presence so much. If my mom talked to me this way every time I saw her I would avoid her too. It's not like lorelei is some drug dealer. She's just a little quirky and got pregnant at 16.
Why is everyone defending Emily? She’s incredibly toxic and loves to gloat when things go her way then throws a hissy fit when it doesn’t. Only toxic people like this toxic woman.
I enjoy Emily as a character but she is an absolutely terrible person most of the time. It's crazy the lengths people go to defend her. Scary that such an obviously toxic person is excused and the main target of her controlling behavior is blamed for her behavior
The first and last time I actually agreed with Rory. Lorelai knew how her parents were especially her mom and still decided to give her mom the check anyway, knowing there might be a slight chance that she becomes offended.
It’s scenes like this that makes Emily a fascinating character, one many of us likely wouldn’t want to get involved with, yet she ends up validating Lorelei’s assumption that Emily is a control freak. Most of Emily’s interactions is about control, especially when it regards to Lorelei, she is used to interacting with Lorelei with control she couldn’t fathom the possibility that Lorelei and Rory could WILLINGLY continue to visit after the debt has been paid. It’s interesting how Emily learns a little to handle her relationships to give some respect to others, she still remains high maintenance, yet there’s this push and pull of how to treat her relationship with Lorelei over the seasons. Just my personal take.
I think Emily is clearly incapable of expressing herself and Lorelai is way too self absorbed to know that what she does has consequences.. match made in heaven lol
Are you saying Emily would have been okay with it even if Lorelai had told her in private about paying back the money?Plus Emily sort of started it since she's the one who put the condition about Friday night dinners as part of the deal she made with Lorelai for the money.
Yes, Emily as usual went a lil overboard, but Lorelei saying she doesn’t need their help anymore is so funny. It’s literally her parents money that is going back to them. Not the money she earned.
I’m sorry, but how/when did Lorelai plan to pay back the money? She was about to open her own inn, travel through Europe for 2-3 months… Was she saving money? What was her plan?
Am I the ONLY person who dislikes the whole character of Michele? Really bothers me. Yanick Truesdale was the ONLY choice in the cast that I feel is horrible.
Ok but for once I stand at Emily’s side. Her reaction is understandable, even if a bit exaggerated - but let’s remember who are we talking about. Remember her reaction when Rory spent the night out by accident? - since we know her pain for having a distant daughter. And Lorelai could have just chose a better moment to say something like this. RORY, the teen girl, knew it wasn’t a good idea. And look and the “for god’s sake lorelai” gaze her father gave her. literally everyone knew immediately how stupid of an idea it was, except for her. Her lack of tact always bothered me.
It wouldn’t have mattered when she gave back the money. Emily was going to flip out regardless. She wanted that control over her daughter, she later used money to control Rory too and even at the end of the series when neither owed her anymore, she tried to find a way to loan more money to Lorelei in hopes she could once again force Lorelei to come to weekly dinners.
The daughter, Rory, was right. She did this at the worst of times, she could have waited, but then there would have been no drama, we understand the need for this to unfold the way it did.
Lorelai has always valued her own self-sufficiency. And this scene is an example of that shining through. I'm fascinated by how threatened her mother is of that self-sufficiency. The first thing she says upon receiving the check is that she "doesn't need anyone doing her _any_ favors". That's _exactly_ what Lorelai has always said about herself. You can really see how strong a relationship they have here, even if it's not the smoothest. And I like how Rory reprimands her mother's lack of tact. Rory has a more balanced vision of the situation, and so she understands the emotion and desire of her grandparents better. Lorelai may be trying to do the right thing for the right reason, but she _is_ being naive about it still. She could have approached that conversation in a far more productive and conscientious manner. Rory's right, there's no way she couldn't have known how they'd react beforehand. Rory certainly knew, you can see it in her face when Lorelai pulls out the check.
Lorelei was 100% the spoiled one. She acts like Emily is overbearing and abusive but her mom is just acting like a mom. The same way she treats Rory, Mrs Kim treats Lane, Shera treats Logan, She’s not some terrible monster. And It’s sad she had to give her child money just to be able to see her and her grandchild once a week. Even Rory was sad because she knew this would be the end of their relationship. So she asked for more money.
@@Bloooooooooooppp Emily is that helicopter mom/mother that wanted her kid to be a copy of herself & takes lil digs at her own daughter because she couldn't model her in her image. To not get her 💔 Lorelei just uno reverse her mom to not show the true hurt.... The money was a tool to control... Emily was so happy she was right & Lorelei needed needed to swallow her pride for the loan & she was smug AF about it... Lorelei was not she was gracious and appreciated Rory is guilty because she did the same thing and ran from them too.... And she had all the time in the world to ask her mom if they could continue w the family dinners....
@@mikilacunningham6259 While Emily is controlling and a helicopter mom, it's because she wants the best for Lorelai (and Rory) and thinks she alone knows what that is and how to achieve it. Obviously very flawed thinking, but it doesn't come from a bad place.
Another example of ungrateful lorelai,,, The only reason she was there is money,,, enily though that if she made her come she will stay ,,,, Even rory can see ,,,
She wasn't trying to be vindictive. She promised to pay them back and that's what she was trying to do. And she did say they'll come over for visits, just not as frequently as before. Emily is the one who overreacted.
@@TimberlakeTigerGirlYes… To do THAT perfectly knowing what their parents are like, and precisely when it was a happy moment. Seriously? This is the emotional range of a toddler. Lorelai presumed to be “the bigger” person, yet, she really enjoyed the drama she caused when everything was okay.
Lorelai is always whining and controlling ....plays the martyred "poor me" or "woe is me" about everything. Loreliai wants to project a person unspoiled but she was and is spoiled by her parents, the men in her life, her friends and she loves every minute of it but wants to make it seem otherwise. I just find her annoying and immature...a 35 year old who dresses and acts like she is the same age as her daughter...with the same problems.
I’m 100% on Lorelai’s side. She told them from day 1 that as soon as she was able to she would pay them back. On top of that, Emily lorded the loan over Lorelai’s head to control her and force a relationship with her. I understand Emily’s feeling why she needs to feel the need to take the choice from her, but that doesn’t make it okay.
My parents grew up in a culture where family members give each other money all the time, with no expectation of getting paid back. I remember my mother being appalled at Lorelai's behavior here. She said Lorelai was mean to deprive her parents of the pleasure of paying for Chilton with no strings attached, Rory being their only granddaughter and all. As a teenager, I sided with Lorelai here, but as an adult, I recognize that her hyper-independence and stubborn refusal to swallow her pride or be in debt to her parents for ANYTHING are signs of unresolved trauma that she should have addressed in therapy long ago.
@@sarahnour5561very interesting Way of thinking
Strings were definitely attached, there were stipulations put into place when they offered the money.
I think Emily blew this all out of proportion. I understand her being worried, but this would've been a good time for her to just be honest and express that she just wants to spend time with her daughter, no strings attached.
Plus instead of been forced to attend Friday night dinners maybe Lorelai might have been willing to see her parents at other times during the week.
I think Emily overreacts because Lorelai wasn’t in their lives at all until she needed the money for Chilton. It’s the hurt that was buried that came up uncontrollably. Lorelai actually did not say that she would continue to come to dinner as she returned the money. Emily needs that assurance.
except she never does that, and NO ONE calls her on it. Just like Lorelai always does sarcastic escalation instead of genuine deescalation. They both lash out at each other in their own way instead of talking shit out. It's incredibly immature of both of them and on repeat watchings of this show it becomes progressively more annoying
She did, but unfortunately, despite shading and trying to talk down to each other, constantly, the Gilmore were BAD at communication. Like the time Emily gaslit Lorelai after Trix was planning on giving Rory millions of dollars in tuition money. She could've talked, but they didn't. She and Richard had many chances to reconcile with Lorelai, but they never did. The fact that it took 8 seasons to get Lorelai and Emily in therapy says ALOT.
Emily definitely felt holding that over Lorelai’s head was the only way Lorelai would willingly spend time with her. That’s why she freaked out like that. That makes me sad. She couldn’t have just said “Hey you will still come over and spend time with us, right?” She didn’t have to alienate Lorelai like this.
This woman had a cake with candles lit for her daughter’s birthday and she doesn’t even allow her own daughter to blow out her own candles and she calls her childish for wanting to? This woman is toxic as hell
Classic sign of how abusive of a mother she was. Lorelai has constantly reminded them sonce Day 1 that se owed the. They agreed to the arrangement because Richard and Emily were to be financially involved in Rory's life and pay for her prep school education. Even Emily, in the beginning, started to hold it over her own daughter's head to blackmail her. She didn't think Emily would get upset over oaying back a loan. The pain they inflicted on Lorelai since she was a child was too much for her to handle so she left. She was free of that pain. And for them to not once apologize for the way the treated her, it's intolerable. It took them fifteen and a half years to get her back into their house and begin a relationship with her and her daughter and every time she tried meeting them halfway, they clobbered her with this childish behavior. What is so wrong with being grateful for a loan and delivering on your promise to pay it back? That's how adulthood works. Emily was childish and selfish as usual. Lorelai kept her word and she resents her for it. Throughout these 3 seasons, she's come over to their house because she wants to, not as an obligation
This.
Lorelai 100% in the right here
Yes. but I also understand where Emily is coming from and why she is upset.
I’m actually a bit disappointed how this plot point panned out because it was such an amazing opportunity for growth from both Emily and Lorelei. Emily needed to learn how to have a relationship without strings and without control with her daughter, and it would have been AMAZING to see Lorelei actually want to spend time with her parents. It is instead solved by the basically the original agreement being put back and place and no development at all. It feels wasted.
exactly
At least Lorelai chooses to spend time with them in the finale. I agree that it would've been nice for the plotline to play out earlier though!
I guess they did that because they just wanted the show to keep going, and friday night dinnners as part of an agreement is a core aspect of the show.
But you're not wrong. They totally could still do Friday night dinners, but have them because Loralai wanted it.
After rewatching it, it would've been great if the revival focused on Loralai and Emily bonding over motherhood, and teaming up to helo Rory find her way.
I see both Lorelei and Emily's point of views.
Emily’s fear of rejection
okay maybe giving them the check at the birthday dinner was wrong, but lets not act like if she had done it any other day or in any other way Emily wouldn't have been just as upset, I don't understand why they all just accept that they have to cater to Emilys feelings cus she"LL overreact like a child
Emily could not handle ANYONE she could not utterly control or manipulate.
I understand the feeling of hating borrowing money from a person. Lorelei was saving up every day towards paying them back. It was never her intention not to. Even if she has a "good relationship" with her parents, I feel like she would still not want to owe them that much money because she is an independent person and she will always hold a grudge against them. Emily wants to actually feel like a mother and grandmother. She doesn't want to "loan" her family money. She wants to be seen as an equal that can provide for her family without strings attached like some stranger. That's what hurts her. Both sides are wrong. Lorelei should respect her parents more but she obviously has some kind of trauma. If richard and emily are truly older and wiser they should find a way to have a heartfelt talk with lorelei and correct the past, but they never do. What I'll never understand about Emily is that she treats Lorelei like shit but values her presence so much. If my mom talked to me this way every time I saw her I would avoid her too. It's not like lorelei is some drug dealer. She's just a little quirky and got pregnant at 16.
Omg. I’m Lorelai’s (and, arguably, Christopher’s) age. I can’t imagine having a Rory. Would love a Star’s Hollow though.
I love blowing out the candles on my birthday, and Richard was the one that spoiled this whole birthday.
Why is everyone defending Emily? She’s incredibly toxic and loves to gloat when things go her way then throws a hissy fit when it doesn’t. Only toxic people like this toxic woman.
💯
I enjoy Emily as a character but she is an absolutely terrible person most of the time. It's crazy the lengths people go to defend her. Scary that such an obviously toxic person is excused and the main target of her controlling behavior is blamed for her behavior
The first and last time I actually agreed with Rory. Lorelai knew how her parents were especially her mom and still decided to give her mom the check anyway, knowing there might be a slight chance that she becomes offended.
Emily is so controlling.
It’s scenes like this that makes Emily a fascinating character, one many of us likely wouldn’t want to get involved with, yet she ends up validating Lorelei’s assumption that Emily is a control freak. Most of Emily’s interactions is about control, especially when it regards to Lorelei, she is used to interacting with Lorelei with control she couldn’t fathom the possibility that Lorelei and Rory could WILLINGLY continue to visit after the debt has been paid. It’s interesting how Emily learns a little to handle her relationships to give some respect to others, she still remains high maintenance, yet there’s this push and pull of how to treat her relationship with Lorelei over the seasons.
Just my personal take.
I think Emily is clearly incapable of expressing herself and Lorelai is way too self absorbed to know that what she does has consequences.. match made in heaven lol
Lorelai should have known how her mother would take this. She should have done this in private, not at the birthday celebration.
Are you saying Emily would have been okay with it even if Lorelai had told her in private about paying back the money?Plus Emily sort of started it since she's the one who put the condition about Friday night dinners as part of the deal she made with Lorelai for the money.
How is with your daughter (the reason it all started) and her parents (the one they're getting the money from) in their house, not private? 💀
I didn't stutter. I said what I said. Deal with it.
Lorelei was just being nice. Good grief, Lorelei did nothing wrong at all. It would seem like Emily would love it
Lorelai did nothing wrong, but i wonder why she gave the check to Emily. Richard was the one who gave them the money for Chilton.
Because Emily was the one who made the conditions of the loan.
@@SamiLo2
that makes it make more sense.
but if i were her i would have phrased it as i was giving it back to both of them
Yes, Emily as usual went a lil overboard, but Lorelei saying she doesn’t need their help anymore is so funny. It’s literally her parents money that is going back to them. Not the money she earned.
I’m sorry, but how/when did Lorelai plan to pay back the money? She was about to open her own inn, travel through Europe for 2-3 months… Was she saving money? What was her plan?
I hate Emily most of the time, so selfish, toxic, and especially controlling
Why is she wearing a shirt with a snake on it????
Emily Defenders and Lorelai haters amuse me because wth
Am I the ONLY person who dislikes the whole character of Michele? Really bothers me.
Yanick Truesdale
was the ONLY choice in the cast that I feel is horrible.
What bothers you about him? (I'm not asking this as an accusatory question, i know some ppl do that, I'm just genuinely curious)
poor Lauralei
I say Emily overreacted
#TeamEmily4Life
Ok but for once I stand at Emily’s side. Her reaction is understandable, even if a bit exaggerated - but let’s remember who are we talking about. Remember her reaction when Rory spent the night out by accident? - since we know her pain for having a distant daughter. And Lorelai could have just chose a better moment to say something like this. RORY, the teen girl, knew it wasn’t a good idea. And look and the “for god’s sake lorelai” gaze her father gave her. literally everyone knew immediately how stupid of an idea it was, except for her. Her lack of tact always bothered me.
It wouldn’t have mattered when she gave back the money. Emily was going to flip out regardless. She wanted that control over her daughter, she later used money to control Rory too and even at the end of the series when neither owed her anymore, she tried to find a way to loan more money to Lorelei in hopes she could once again force Lorelei to come to weekly dinners.
The daughter, Rory, was right. She did this at the worst of times, she could have waited, but then there would have been no drama, we understand the need for this to unfold the way it did.
Lorelai has always valued her own self-sufficiency. And this scene is an example of that shining through. I'm fascinated by how threatened her mother is of that self-sufficiency. The first thing she says upon receiving the check is that she "doesn't need anyone doing her _any_ favors". That's _exactly_ what Lorelai has always said about herself. You can really see how strong a relationship they have here, even if it's not the smoothest.
And I like how Rory reprimands her mother's lack of tact. Rory has a more balanced vision of the situation, and so she understands the emotion and desire of her grandparents better. Lorelai may be trying to do the right thing for the right reason, but she _is_ being naive about it still. She could have approached that conversation in a far more productive and conscientious manner.
Rory's right, there's no way she couldn't have known how they'd react beforehand. Rory certainly knew, you can see it in her face when Lorelai pulls out the check.
Emily is the worst mother ever
Lorelei was 100% the spoiled one. She acts like Emily is overbearing and abusive but her mom is just acting like a mom. The same way she treats Rory, Mrs Kim treats Lane, Shera treats Logan, She’s not some terrible monster. And It’s sad she had to give her child money just to be able to see her and her grandchild once a week. Even Rory was sad because she knew this would be the end of their relationship. So she asked for more money.
Lorelai is an awful, spoiled brat baby mama. She's spiteful and immature and Queen Emily deserves better.
Paying back a loan is spoiled?
@@Bloooooooooooppp
Emily is that helicopter mom/mother that wanted her kid to be a copy of herself & takes lil digs at her own daughter because she couldn't model her in her image. To not get her 💔 Lorelei just uno reverse her mom to not show the true hurt.... The money was a tool to control... Emily was so happy she was right & Lorelei needed
needed to swallow her pride for the loan & she was smug AF about it...
Lorelei was not she was gracious and appreciated
Rory is guilty because she did the same thing and ran from them too.... And she had all the time in the world to ask her mom if they could continue w the family dinners....
Emily is trash
@@mikilacunningham6259 While Emily is controlling and a helicopter mom, it's because she wants the best for Lorelai (and Rory) and thinks she alone knows what that is and how to achieve it. Obviously very flawed thinking, but it doesn't come from a bad place.
Another example of ungrateful lorelai,,, The only reason she was there is money,,, enily though that if she made her come she will stay ,,,, Even rory can see ,,,
She did say she'd pay them back.
Lorelai…
With the emotional inteligence of a child.
She loved to provoque her parents to victimice herself and justify her childlike behavior
She wasn't trying to be vindictive. She promised to pay them back and that's what she was trying to do. And she did say they'll come over for visits, just not as frequently as before.
Emily is the one who overreacted.
@@TimberlakeTigerGirlYes…
To do THAT perfectly knowing what their parents are like, and precisely when it was a happy moment. Seriously?
This is the emotional range of a toddler.
Lorelai presumed to be “the bigger” person, yet, she really enjoyed the drama she caused when everything was okay.
Lorelai is awful. She's an awful daughter and an even worse mother. I just can't with this character.
Anyway, Emily is Queen! Lol. 😀
I don’t understand how lorelai is a bad person
for this.
She said she’d pay her back and she did Emily is garbage
Emily is trash. all she does is criticize and try to control everyone like they're her dolls.
Lorelai is always whining and controlling ....plays the martyred "poor me" or "woe is me" about everything. Loreliai wants to project a person unspoiled but she was and is spoiled by her parents, the men in her life, her friends and she loves every minute of it but wants to make it seem otherwise. I just find her annoying and immature...a 35 year old who dresses and acts like she is the same age as her daughter...with the same problems.