I am now in your shoes. My husband of 15 years came out as trans and bi. I am absolutely broken as a person. This video does not make me feel hopeful about the future. I am also financially entangled with my then husband and I also now will never have the kids I wanted as i doubt i will find a new partner before im too old. I give you a lot of credit for being so charitable to your partner. It has been over a year since my partner's revelation and I still cannot and probably will never understand why they would marry a heterosexual woman, knowing they had trans feelings all along. Mine thought they could "put it away" and be done with it. They never bothered to even mention the crossdressing or trans feelings to me before we were married so I could at least know what I was getting into and decide if I wanted to go forward. They made that decision for me. I have a really hard time with that. I do feel my husband is dead. Not only does the new person look different, they act completely different as well. Where he used to be joking, warm, and loving, they are cold, depressed, ruminating, and angry. Most say that their trans partner is better off but mine is not any happier. To say I'm resentful and anguished and missing the person i knew is an understatement. To be in this group of people with late in life trans partners is very very difficult. It's a small but growing club with few resources for support. I wish you the best in an extremely difficult situation.
It’s up to your but would never feed into the delusions that he’s a woman. i don’t care what anyone says transgender individuals have a mental disorder. You’re looking in the mirror hating yourself as a male thinking you’re a woman in a man’s body this is crazy,. Some even resorting to cutting off body parts to look like the sex they desire to be, this is extreme and for anyone in the professional community who no longer classify this as Mental disorder are lying. Some transgender women actually believe that they have Premenstrual symptoms and periods, this is delusional thinking and delusional are part of a mental illness. The fact that he says he’s bisexual means he wants to have relationships with men, and wants men to perceive him as a woman and be interested in him, However, I am willing to bet he’s not getting the attention from men that he was hoping for and most likely will never be perceived as a woman. I hope and pray you find the strength to kick him to the curb.
Divorce and take care of yourself. The medical and mental issues if surgical procedures are performed. Watch detransition and surgery videos an educate yourself and inform decision can be made.
@@vegewoman Yes, I've seen plenty of detransition stories on RUclips. I do admire Blaire White and Buck Angel both are transgender. hoowever, they admit they are still their biological sex and don't deny it. They don't buy into children being transitioning and being put on blockers and HRT. They also don't go for transgender sports being in women sports and don't buy into the claim there is no such thing as biological sexes which is often claimed in the transgender community now. I saw a RUclips video of parents transition their 18 month old toddler to a girl because they claimed he like playing with girl toys. He's about 5 years old and identifies as a girl. The parents are nuts. They indoctrinated, brainwashed this child into believing he's a girl
@@padijeff5675 no, they can end up as an old maid if they want to. I don't have to embrace it. I am not attracted to women and I was never informed of any of this in the years before our marriage. It's not fair to me to stay in the relationship if this is how it's going to be.
This sounds exactly like our situation. 19.5 years married, 21 years together. Some of the words you used hit home, feeling loss, resentment...we are doing counseling together and I have my own as well. I wish there was a support group specifically for partners of people who come out later in life as transgender.
seriously, when her spouse appears in the prefix to the video- their focus was on pronouns. Really, do you seriously think that anyone within a marriage gives two-F about pronouns. There are much bigger and deeper problems to deal with in a marriage than pronouns . Focusing on PRONOUNS is a form of BULLYING !!!!!! ----- i really really hate selfish self-centered bullies --
The true reality for both of you is that the marriage was clearly sexless years before the transition. For example, if you are not lesbian/bi then how do you suddenly start sleeping with a WOMAN. -- YOU ARE both middle aged, so clearly your marriage had become more like 2 roommates. I feel that you should have had the courage to go out and find your dreams. Jamie is living their dreams- you gave up your dreams to live Jamies new life. that is bullshit and you know !!!
i totally respect Jamie rights to be who she wants to be. What i hate and find selfish is when she drags you down her rabbit hole.. she knew you would not have the self-esteem or courage to also make a new life for yourself. i been married for 15 years. Couples know each other, there is always THE more dominant partner (usually the man). Jamie still acts like the dominant male even though she is now a WOMAN !!!! point in reference- here you are making videos that essentially support/encourage Jamies new life.
Hi Jayme and Trinity, Have just watched this Video and my Heart has gone out to you Both, Trinity is Wonderful and a Lovely Person and although she has excepted the Change is Deeply still very hurt Inside, am glad that you have come to an agreement and stayed together but bear in mind that the Man She Dated, Loved, Married and Cared For over 25 Years is now Gone, I wish you Both Future Happiness
@@itsjustbrandie 7 billion people in the world. Wish him well, and move forward with your life. When one person becomes the whole focus of the relationship_ that is selfish and tiring. Its the same as a cheating husband, etc., and you do everything to try and keep them, meanwhile they are enjoying all the attention! No, I was out--😏. \ the clothes bit always gets me because I just wear jeans, Adidas pants, tennis shoes, and I'm a grandma with a son, etc. \ she needs to sell the house, get a condo..leave the ex husband, now woman to their own life, why torture yourself holding on to this person?😒🌴California
My ex husband did this to me. It was horrible. Our daughter was only a few months old and we hadn’t been married that long. He never brought it up prior to marriage. It was devastating. Who builds a marriage on lies!! He told me he didn’t want to transition at that time so we stayed married for a few more years. I have been divorced from this man for 3 years and I still resent him. He just told me today that he for sure wants to transition. I wish he would just go away and I don’t want him around the kids. I don’t understand why I am punished in this way. I feel what he did should be a crime. I recently asked when he came to this realization and he said he always knew but he was in denial.
As a trans woman, first of all, we all wish we did not have these feelings, we all wish they would go away. I had these feelings at 4 years of old of wanting to be female but we were born male, we think these feelings are strange and do not want people to think we have mental problems. I thought the feelings would go away as I got older, when I reached puberty, when I got a girlfriend, when I got married, when I had kids. they may go away for a few months, but they always come back. Who wants to tell they girl they just met, or the woman they are in love with that they have these feelings? It is a very hard thing to do.we all think the feelings will go away when we reach a new stage in our lives, so why bring it up to the person we think we are marrying for life? I am sorry for you, I am sorry for any woman who is married to someone with these feelings.
Did she do it to YOU ? It happened to your husband, first of all. Its very hard to realize you are trans. The whole of society judges you harshly. She or he has gone thru agonising moment to realize what s inside, how he or she feels. Its tough on you for sure. But its very tough on your husband too. Judging with the mind is not helping completely, because this is such a huge transition. It is also an opportunity for growth, for all involved. We dont own our partners, husbands, wives etc. Each go thru their challenges !! I wish you and your husband lots of healing, and love, whether you stay together or not!
@@MoonStone2626 yes! HE lied. HE made that choice. I was supportive of him. Especially when he first told me. I was willing to go through what he needed. However, I started realizing everything about him was a lie. He would lie to me on a daily basis about anything. I have no clue why. Again, HE probably should have figured himself out and deal with his demons before creating a family. It’s selfish. He is an absent father by his choice. My kids frequently ask about him and I never know what to tell them. He’s invited to every family related thing and chooses his new life. Oh by the way I just found out he is having 2 other babies by other women 🤷♀️🤦♀️ He frequently gives up his parenting time he doesn’t pay child support because he can’t hold a job. He has issues and needs to figure himself out.
Thank you for this video!, There are so many different stories, with vastly different outcomes,that are born from these relationships. I came out to my girlfriend,36 years ago ,as a crossdresser. Over the years as we became engaged and then married , I had this voice in my head telling me to be a man, She was obviously accepting to the crossdressing, but the two of us have struggled with my inner voice, telling me to be the father, husband, protector, and provider, until we both came to the understanding that I can be that person, and transgender as well. 34 years of marriage to the best friend I ever had! My wife!
Thank you so so much. It was wonderful to hear from a wife of a transgendered lady in such a calm and reasonable manner. I am sorry that both of you have to go through this. I truly wish you the best.
Thank you Jodi for your comments and well wishes. Yes, being 3 years out from the initial shock of me coming out to her, we have both definitely grown. I know from having gone though it, that it does take time. Patients is one of the most important thing during a persons transition. It's easy to want to rush to the end, like I did, but I'm better for my spouse wanting me to take it slow. It was better for her to adjust and better for me to mentally prepare to going full time. 💖
It's cruel to not just reshuffle the deck 25 years into a marriage but to throw the entire deck out the window of a moving car on her. Jayme should fork over the money so that the former wife can live at a level she is accustom to and take the dog with her.
Absolutely! He owes her the house and alimony. Because he's the one that wrecked her life. A real counselor or therapist would have gone over her options with her instead of focusing just on him. And pronouns.
It's just selfish to do that to someone. If you know damn well you feel like something else or are unsure, stop interfering with heterosexual individuals lives who you know want you for what you were actually born as. I try to support the transitioning stuff, but I don't support this selfish bs. Too many seem to not care about fking up someones happiness or life for their own in a lot of ways. She could have been married to someone who was exactly who they said they were the whole time. Yet, that selfish individual chose to waste her time for their benefit until they were done pretending. Ugh
And he's still gaslighting her so bad, that poor woman actually sat there through that whole video saying she's trying to stop messing up and do everything right. For him. And she can't afford to leave anyway. That's what divorce attorneys and alimony are for.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Break a relationship off when you dont like it and stop whining. The alternative is they break up with you and then transition without giving you a chance but they actually care for you so they didnt. Use your brain not your emotions
Live a happy life, one day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; for which reason it's called the present. Personally, every day I wake up, I'm thankful for having the greatest opportunity to make a better version of who I was yesterday and still have my wife to love.
Thank you for this, I am in your shoes, I came out to my wife of 25 years as trans. I am struggling to hold our marriage together and I would stay as a male for her if she stays, but it has been a year and she has so much anger toward me that I am thinking the damage is done. She believes I should have told her before we married, she believes I was lying to her for 25 years :( At least your SO was willing to open up her mind toward you and go to counselling together. I am glad you are in a good place together.
You're welcome and thank you for sharing! My spouse said those same things, but over time I think she's come to understand, after many many conversations, that my mind refused to allow me to accept who I was. Once I finally did accept who I was, I thought about not coming out, but I know that would not have ended well :( Tomorrow is guaranteed to no-one, so it's important to live your life as the true you! Many marriages don't even last 25 years, so we feel fortunate. I hope you can find yourself in a good place too and I wish you the best 💖
Maybe she’s feeling that way because she could have had a life with someone who did not do this. 25 years is a very long time. How on earth could she feel that she was not lied to?
@@jaymejae.. "tomorrow is guaranteed to no one" .. right. so why waste another person's time?! Using a loving loyal partner for support until YOU decide to end the marriage for a sexual disorder? selfish
I pray for you. I am sorry for your loss. It is like a death. In my view living together is very difficult . You are giving everything for your former husband. I wish you only the best
Hello I would like to say you are a strong woman,I am a transgender woman I was married 36 years my wife passed away april 2021, we was like one I loved her very much i did not come out until after her passing, in your vidio I am starting to understand what you are talking about,it was like nancy and I when we got married we took the vows and lived by them, when i was married i was a man built a log cabin for nancy where we lived did all the other stuff but after her passing there was no stoping me on coming out,I will say it just feels right when i am Rachel, wish you the best be who you nead to be
This was a very valuable video! Thank you so much...I'm sure this will help other woman going through a similar situation. I'm happy your dating. I hope you find that special person to share the rest of your life with. It's a brand new chapter in your life...which is a good thing!
Find a new man. You will keep suffering from those fake memories and its torture the man you once knew and love is Dead. No it will never get better you will keep remembering those days your old honey was and were. and your sexual life is also ruin. Theres mental truama is this
Let’s be honest. The husband ruined this beautiful woman’s adult life. How anyone wakes up in the morning knowing they did this to someone is beyond me. He didn’t respect you enough to let you know until decades later. Yet, you have the grace to try and respect the pronouns. You are a better person than most.
You are showing so much courage. However if you still wanted to stay together you could look at it as you married a person not a husband. It is a tough place to be for her as this is something she has been hiding and carrying all her life. I speak from experience. I wish you both well.
I have a question for you that has confused me. Why is it ok and accepted for a woman to dress as a man even Butch her hair Wear men's clothes and shoes but, if a man dresses as he feels his feminine side it's not allowed, and Hes shamed for it? I mean this as an honest question to a woman.
Perhaps because they aren't trying to identify as a man? Unless they've cut their boobs off and growing a beard men will still find that sexy. As a woman, I have no desire whatsoever to feel anyone else's boobs, especially those of the fit, athletic, strong MAN I married.
Because they are not pretending to actually be a man, or claiming to be a man. Also, if a lesbian married a straight man, that would be just as bad. And if the lesbian had not thought she was a lesbian until after they married, and she lied to him for many years to keep him in the dark about it, that would be just as bad. And it would be over the top insane and extremely abusive of her to expect her husband of many years to just get used to her being a lesbian, and stay married to her in an open marriage when she finally decides to tell him years later.
Lori, you must think about your goal: what do you want and why. Not all of us have complete surgery (SRS) I can tell you more if you like. otherwise, ask your psychologist to treat you. If in doubt, don't do it
Wow my wife got more upset then a lot of the spouses on here when she realized that iv been wearing panties ( my own not hers)as my only underwear. Bikini nylon or microfiber no lace or frilly stuff. Just plain jane comfortable supportive underwear. She freaked out and still won't be intimate in anyway and she found out years.
I used to be ok with that kind of thing Bill, he even stole my panties. But he just couldnXt stop there. She probably sensed your jealousy and got away from it.
She new i wore them for a year or so after my accident that started me wearing them in the first place. Long story about a very severe groin injury. Nothing sexual at all just underwear.. No more no less
Just goes to prove no matter how good looking and hot your spouse is when one decides it's time to come out, the feelings can be so strong one just does it. 25 years there had to be some idea about her spouses secrets. She's is devastated now but time will heal some wounds. As good looking as she is, once she gets her head right after this she should do ok I hope her spouse realizes how long a road he has to travel to get to his goal. Good Luck
I cannot imagine how devastating this is. Time to get a divorce and get that person out. I would get a different roomie. Living with this person is going to keep you mentally tied up. I don’t think I would counsel with a trans center as they would be biased. Get your own counselor who is all about you.
He threw his own life into a blender. He’s not the victim here, his wife is. She’s describing the trauma of this and he’s like “she’s still working on the pronouns” 🙄 how narcissistic can someone be?
@@littlebird3495 Thank you for seeing that and pointing it out. Also, her husband and the 'lgbtqia+ counselor' have brainwashed her into blaming thinking she's in the wrong on everything and owes him pronouns. That's, why I always tell people to get a real therapist to deal with their loss. And get out and move on. As for her being financially dependent on him to some extent - that's what alimony is for.
My spouse and I have been dealing with me being transgender also. My goal over the years is to do no harm and keep loving her. I tend to be asexual who happened to have fallen in love with her. I was intersex and did have a number of surgeries as a child yet not one doctor told me of my condition. I’ve never had access to my medical records from my childhood. It wasn’t until I was 45 years old and I developed at least stage three testicular-ovarian cancer. Yes i said ovarian. In all I’ve had twenty eight surgeries of which seven or eight are directly related to my intersex. I realize your spouse is transgender and I’m intersex but the effect on me and our marriage is the same. I haven’t wanted or needed someone else thenonly person I’ve ever needed was her and I’ll do what ever I need to do to keep her. She has slowly, very slowly , is becoming more accepting. In my case I’ve had so many surgeries on my bottom that I tell friends that I’m having SRS surgery on the installment plan. I have no,attention of forcing my spouse into what she would see as a lesbian relationship, that would only come about if she desired. Even then at our age that would bring on interesting challenges. The only advice I have is to keep doing what you are doing and see what develops. I have no advice about if she wishes to date males as I’ve never had such desires. Even women do not attract me, but for some reason my wife came into my life and we were very happy. Again keep doing what you lovingly need to do.
@@claudeyaz AGP is a myth and it has been debunked and the fact that trans men exist too just makes the whole theory crumble bit by bit. Gay trans men also exist too and no one cares about that do they, nope so why is it that when a trans woman is with a cis woman they are called "AGP"? I have never felt any sexual arousal to myself as a woman and in fact there are cis women that are autosexual they are sexually attracted to themselves and I have met an autosexual trans man while I was in the psych ward a few years ago.
My advice to women who find out that their husbands crossdress is to not panic. Probably all your husband wants is the occasional chance to cross dress. If thats all he wants, then maybe you can think of a way in which you could agree on how and when that might happean. If that is all he is doing, then its harmless isn't it? He may not want you to be a part of what he does at all. And you might not want to be a part of it either. Just talk to him. Try to stay calm. Its understandable if you are frightened. But find out whats going on. And give yourself the time to think about whats going on before you decide on what you do next. Cross dressing does not automatically mean your husband is gay or trans.
Thank you so much for your video. I’m thinking of telling my wife too of my transgender decision. It’s very difficult because I know I would be losing her forever in the way I have known her but I cannot escape who i am and who i wamt to be, its who i am. it would hurt mr to see her date, and be intimate with another man and even marry someone else. i know i dont want to be alone but i would be so happy to find a good man of my own. it is very difficult, i wish i had a coach to encourage me along the way.
It would hurt you to see her date and you want to find a man for yourself. Get out of that woman's house and out of her life and leave her alone. You owe her the house and alimony and let her get on with her life.
Anyone who reads that jerk’s comment needs to know that AGP is a fraudulent “theory” created to bolster the hatred that resides in transphobic cis people. It has not withstood scientific scrutiny and is only used by people who wish to hurt trans women.
@@insidiousmischka How is she a perv can you prove it coz making claims with no evidence is what fucking bigots do. Also the better the trans woman looks the more angrier/jealous you get, you don't like it that they feel confident within themselves and thrive. Just because you are miserable and ugly doesn't mean you get to hate an anyone else for living their life you are a good example of misery loves company. Its true misery loves company and you put people down just because they are different from you and you are also the same pigs that would call a trans man her age a "confused woman" and then call a 12 year old trans girl a "pervert". I walked into a girls bathroom when I was 5 and then they pulled me out then called my parents then told then that their child is a pervert like they said it to my mom's face that I her 5 year old was a pervert. I am 23 now and I am a passing trans girl and I am just out here living my life while you are prolly into trans women but you are ashamed to say it. I get hit on by lesbians a lot tbh with you but I prefer couples because I am openly bisexual.
My fiancée and I are staying engaged. I thought I was non-binary for a while, but recently could no longer deny my womanhood. I'm attracted to women, too, though; she is bi, but she is grieving the loss of the person she was attracted to
OMG as to what you both are going through! My heart goes out to you both. I know it is so hard. So many things to be said from both angles. My wife and I have both been married before with two kids each and combined families 7 years ago. I told her about me. I told her how I felt. I never thought that I would get to the point of actually transitioning because I thought I could just keep it behind closed doors. I fooled me but not her. At 49, last year, and a couple of years into hormones, I did it! We have never been happier with me finally being able to give my whole self to her. I know I told her upfront. I know that is different than your situation. I get that totally. I do not at all mean to offend either one of you. Love and loyalty is hard to find. I really hope that your love for one another supersedes. Its different. It's not societies norm but its OUR NEW NORMAL and nothing better! My heart with you both and nothing but love. Lexi
I find it very hard to understand if you love someone you marry, why would you not still love them, trans or not....types out there talk of trans peoples as if we are wrong or bad, when, factually, speaking, 90% of incarcerated people who have committed horrific crimes, have committed horrific crimes historically, are men or women, not trans people.
I’m trans but I haven’t told my wife, I don’t know how she’ll take it, I know she will file for divorce instantly and move out or make me move out. I don’t want to lose her but if she ever found out then I will go 100 percent trans and live as a woman. It’s very difficult, however I do think she suspects something, we haven’t been intimate in years.
To Jayme: Oh, you're "allowing" her to get used to using pronouns that match your internal feelings rather than your visible sex? How magnanimous of you.
Thank you for your comment and the sarcasm is not lost :P. I wanted to clarify that I'm not "allowing" her to misgender me. If she doesn't catch it I'll correct her, I just don't start tipping over TV's ;-). I purposely left the misgendering in the video to show spouses that they are going to struggle and slip up, as long as it's not mean or malicious. I don't get misgendered in public so it's subconscious and habit.
You are a very lovely woman and you have given me the courage to come out to my wife and we are working together she said she knew something was wrong she thought I was having an affair and she see it just like you she is more like a good friend. I would just like to thank you both god bless
Why are u so obsessed with less than 1% if the population? Also transphobia is an epidemic not only that we native Americans actually had a much better understanding of LGBTQ folks and that was torn apart thanx to EUROPEAN COLONIZATION with foreign "values" being forced on us.
I don't want to be gossipy but im interesting on the subject. Im about to open up to my wife and i dont want to hurt herself again (after she found me maybe as a crossdresser, several times after i promise never again) But is something that i can't die without experience it and i feel like dying if i put my wife in this situation ( once again and forever ). Im concerns what you, as spouses think and how you handled and most of all, how do you relieve yourself and recover from this. With love, a worried husband who prefered to die instead of make unhappy a loving person.
25 years:) wow. It is interesting how transgender people expect from others to understand them, and they don't understand that their wife maybe doesn't want to be married to a girl?! That is a typical froad, and you are doing that to the person you say you love. You don't love that person, you only love yourself that is the truth. I can understand that in the beginning a person come out and say I am this and this and than the other side will decide is she for that or not. But to lie to a person for 2 decades that is not normal. I have lots of gay friends, transgender friends as well, but honest ones:) and that's why I support them. Any person that whould pretend for 30 years that he is a man, and while having sex he imagine some John ahhha that is not normal. I whould cut of a person like that, nor because he or she is transgender I don't have a problem like that, for me thar person lied to his family probably to have kids:) That type of person I whould just show the door.
@@ruthtirado2750 You might want to reword your statement, or delete it altogether. You sound as if you are agreeing with me, independent of all your other posts. Screenshot captured for posterity.
I have seen that sometimes the wife of GF picks up on feminine mannerism or weak emotions that they not so surprised when he does come out as transgender.
Although it's clear she has shown a mature attitude towards your transition, the day she said she wanted to date others, I would have invited her to the door. Her reasoning behind wanting to stay under the same roof is all for naught, because basically she's staying out of convenience until she can find the man she wants who can secure her future, then she'll be gone. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the cold reality. As a transgender woman, I would expect more from my spouse! I have several friends who have come out to their spouse, and they are not only being incredibly supportive, they continue to LOVE them, because it is STILL the same person they married. Your gender identity does NOT make your marriage. The marriage you had for 25 years does define it. She didn't seem to have a problem with throwing the baby out with the bath water and that is unfortunate. I wish you luck, I hope she will eventually come around and not be so hung up on the whole "Oh, I'm heteorsexual and I can't do this". Best wishes to you both!
Thank you for your comment and well wishes! You definitely have some valid points. Let me elaborate on a couple of considerations. The decision to date others was mutual as I also am free to date, and the moment my Prince shows up in his/her red convertible Audi R8, I'm outa here too 😂. We did consider separating, however that would mean lowering both our standards of living because we would double most of the expenses, like housing, utilities etc. Since we still love each other and get along well, it made more sense to stay under the same roof. I do differ on the gender identity and marriage, in that when we look for a mate, someone to spend the rest of our life with, gender does play a role in that. Her not being lesbian or bi causes issues for me too. We both want to be sexually intimate with the person we're sharing our life with and that's not possible with us. We are both in a good place right now and thank you again for your well wishes 💖
She said yes to marrying a man who pretended to be okay with being a man for years. Not knowingly saying yes to a man wanting to be a woman. She isn't gay so why would she still feel the same about being with a "woman"? That just speaks volumes that you are as self centered as it gets, if you lie and deceive the whole relationship until you are ready to be accepted for something else. Change someone else's whole reality, yet you still expect all of this love and loyalty that makes you an insanely self centered delusional person.
@@PhoenixRise0101 So you think he just pretended for years until he thought she was going to be ok with it, then sprung it on her? It doesn't work that way. Being trans is not the same as being gay. We aren't just "in the closet" and then just come out one day. There is a tremendous amount of confusion, because often times even though we are Transgender, we are still attracted to women, especially our spouse. There is incredible self-guilt, a feeling of not being worthy of anyone, a feeling that we are somehow defective and many trans have other mental illnesses piled on top of all that! So, it's quite common for a trans person to actually go to the other extreme for years (essentially over-compensating), like somehow that is going to fix us. If you speak to many trans women especially, you'll find many of them are veterans. Again, they went and did that super masculine career hoping it was going to "fix" them. Then there is usually some trigger point where the pot boils over and there is no turning back. If you have a Spouse who has been with you that many years, it's not a self-centered attitude to think they should understand. I came out to my gf before we were even engaged and she still has accepted me for who I am! So no, don't buy your bullying attitude. Sorry....
@@TheeSilentObserverz The vast majority of the less than 1% that detransition do so because of unsatisfactory cosmetic changes or social,family rejection. Not because they realise they were not the chosen gender .
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I am now in your shoes. My husband of 15 years came out as trans and bi. I am absolutely broken as a person. This video does not make me feel hopeful about the future. I am also financially entangled with my then husband and I also now will never have the kids I wanted as i doubt i will find a new partner before im too old. I give you a lot of credit for being so charitable to your partner.
It has been over a year since my partner's revelation and I still cannot and probably will never understand why they would marry a heterosexual woman, knowing they had trans feelings all along. Mine thought they could "put it away" and be done with it. They never bothered to even mention the crossdressing or trans feelings to me before we were married so I could at least know what I was getting into and decide if I wanted to go forward. They made that decision for me. I have a really hard time with that.
I do feel my husband is dead. Not only does the new person look different, they act completely different as well. Where he used to be joking, warm, and loving, they are cold, depressed, ruminating, and angry. Most say that their trans partner is better off but mine is not any happier. To say I'm resentful and anguished and missing the person i knew is an understatement.
To be in this group of people with late in life trans partners is very very difficult. It's a small but growing club with few resources for support. I wish you the best in an extremely difficult situation.
If you can't embrace her as a Trans woman, you'll end up as an Old Maid!😐🏳️🌈
It’s up to your but would never feed into the delusions that he’s a woman. i don’t care what anyone says transgender individuals have a mental disorder. You’re looking in the mirror hating yourself as a male thinking you’re a woman in a man’s body this is crazy,. Some even resorting to cutting off body parts to look like the sex they desire to be, this is extreme and for anyone in the professional community who no longer classify this as Mental disorder are lying. Some transgender women actually believe that they have Premenstrual symptoms and periods, this is delusional thinking and delusional are part of a mental illness. The fact that he says he’s bisexual means he wants to have relationships with men, and wants men to perceive him as a woman and be interested in him,
However, I am willing to bet he’s not getting the attention from men that he was hoping for and most likely will never be perceived as a woman. I hope and pray you find the strength to kick him to the curb.
Divorce and take care of yourself. The medical and mental issues if surgical procedures are performed. Watch detransition and surgery videos an educate yourself and inform decision can be made.
@@vegewoman Yes, I've seen plenty of detransition stories on RUclips. I do admire Blaire White and Buck Angel both are transgender. hoowever, they admit they are still their biological sex and don't deny it. They don't buy into children being transitioning and being put on blockers and HRT.
They also don't go for transgender sports being in women sports and don't buy into the claim there is no such thing as biological sexes which is often claimed in the transgender community now.
I saw a RUclips video of parents transition their 18 month old toddler to a girl because they claimed he like playing with girl toys. He's about 5 years old and identifies as a girl. The parents are nuts. They indoctrinated, brainwashed this child into believing he's a girl
@@padijeff5675 no, they can end up as an old maid if they want to. I don't have to embrace it. I am not attracted to women and I was never informed of any of this in the years before our marriage. It's not fair to me to stay in the relationship if this is how it's going to be.
You have been extraordinarily kind to him, I wouldn’t have your generosity. Well done.
I feel very sorry for this woman.
I do too. She's going through a transition herself in trying to figure out what her next chapter is.
@@jaymejae divorce. Nothing more painful to see your partner gone
Trinity, get the hell out of there, clear his bank account. He has cheated on you by keeping his perversion a secret for years. You cannot trust him.
He wanted a body like her!😉
@@padijeff5675 pretty much
You can see how uncomfortable this woman really is. I am happy that she's moving on. She really needs to.
I want to thank for the video and finding the strength & courage to tell your story.
This sounds exactly like our situation. 19.5 years married, 21 years together. Some of the words you used hit home, feeling loss, resentment...we are doing counseling together and I have my own as well. I wish there was a support group specifically for partners of people who come out later in life as transgender.
seriously, when her spouse appears in the prefix to the video- their focus was on pronouns. Really, do you seriously think that anyone within a marriage gives two-F about pronouns. There are much bigger and deeper problems to deal with in a marriage than pronouns . Focusing on PRONOUNS is a form of BULLYING !!!!!! ----- i really really hate selfish self-centered bullies --
The true reality for both of you is that the marriage was clearly sexless years before the transition. For example, if you are not lesbian/bi then how do you suddenly start sleeping with a WOMAN. -- YOU ARE both middle aged, so clearly your marriage had become more like 2 roommates. I feel that you should have had the courage to go out and find your dreams. Jamie is living their dreams- you gave up your dreams to live Jamies new life. that is bullshit and you know !!!
i totally respect Jamie rights to be who she wants to be. What i hate and find selfish is when she drags you down her rabbit hole.. she knew you would not have the self-esteem or courage to also make a new life for yourself. i been married for 15 years. Couples know each other, there is always THE more dominant partner (usually the man). Jamie still acts like the dominant male even though she is now a WOMAN !!!! point in reference- here you are making videos that essentially support/encourage Jamies new life.
Yes, Paul! Typical narcissist.
@@ruthtirado2750 people should just find happiness. wearing a wig does not make anyone happy
Anyone notice how great that computer build is behind them. ...ok nerd showing
Hi Jayme and Trinity, Have just watched this Video and my Heart has gone out to you Both, Trinity is Wonderful and a Lovely Person and although she has excepted the Change is Deeply still very hurt Inside, am glad that you have come to an agreement and stayed together but bear in mind that the Man She Dated, Loved, Married and Cared For over 25 Years is now Gone, I wish you Both Future Happiness
This poor woman... I hope she finds a husband who is deserving of her.
Fingers crossed 🤞
I was willing to be lesbian bit he wants men and women. Not just me. I'm struggling bad.
@@itsjustbrandie I'm in the same corner as you are. I am so sorry.
@@itsjustbrandie 7 billion people in the world. Wish him well, and move forward with your life. When one person becomes the whole focus of the relationship_ that is selfish and tiring. Its the same as a cheating husband, etc., and you do everything to try and keep them, meanwhile they are enjoying all the attention! No, I was out--😏. \ the clothes bit always gets me because I just wear jeans, Adidas pants, tennis shoes, and I'm a grandma with a son, etc. \ she needs to sell the house, get a condo..leave the ex husband, now woman to their own life, why torture yourself holding on to this person?😒🌴California
So true...
My ex husband did this to me. It was horrible. Our daughter was only a few months old and we hadn’t been married that long. He never brought it up prior to marriage. It was devastating. Who builds a marriage on lies!! He told me he didn’t want to transition at that time so we stayed married for a few more years. I have been divorced from this man for 3 years and I still resent him. He just told me today that he for sure wants to transition. I wish he would just go away and I don’t want him around the kids. I don’t understand why I am punished in this way. I feel what he did should be a crime. I recently asked when he came to this realization and he said he always knew but he was in denial.
As a trans woman, first of all, we all wish we did not have these feelings, we all wish they would go away. I had these feelings at 4 years of old of wanting to be female but we were born male, we think these feelings are strange and do not want people to think we have mental problems. I thought the feelings would go away as I got older, when I reached puberty, when I got a girlfriend, when I got married, when I had kids. they may go away for a few months, but they always come back. Who wants to tell they girl they just met, or the woman they are in love with that they have these feelings? It is a very hard thing to do.we all think the feelings will go away when we reach a new stage in our lives, so why bring it up to the person we think we are marrying for life? I am sorry for you, I am sorry for any woman who is married to someone with these feelings.
@@wishiwasawoman if it’s easy to lie to the person you love either they are not the right one or you need to work on yourself. I have zero sympathy.
Did she do it to YOU ? It happened to your husband, first of all. Its very hard to realize you are trans. The whole of society judges you harshly. She or he has gone thru agonising moment to realize what s inside, how he or she feels. Its tough on you for sure. But its very tough on your husband too. Judging with the mind is not helping completely, because this is such a huge transition. It is also an opportunity for growth, for all involved. We dont own our partners, husbands, wives etc. Each go thru their challenges !! I wish you and your husband lots of healing, and love, whether you stay together or not!
@@MoonStone2626 yes! HE lied. HE made that choice. I was supportive of him. Especially when he first told me. I was willing to go through what he needed. However, I started realizing everything about him was a lie. He would lie to me on a daily basis about anything. I have no clue why. Again, HE probably should have figured himself out and deal with his demons before creating a family. It’s selfish.
He is an absent father by his choice. My kids frequently ask about him and I never know what to tell them. He’s invited to every family related thing and chooses his new life. Oh by the way I just found out he is having 2 other babies by other women 🤷♀️🤦♀️ He frequently gives up his parenting time he doesn’t pay child support because he can’t hold a job. He has issues and needs to figure himself out.
Hi, its amazing how caring about this. I was resentful.
Every right to be. It is a betrayal of your marriage
Thank you for this video!, There are so many different stories, with vastly different outcomes,that are born from these relationships. I came out to my girlfriend,36 years ago ,as a crossdresser. Over the years as we became engaged and then married , I had this voice in my head telling me to be a man, She was obviously accepting to the crossdressing, but the two of us have struggled with my inner voice, telling me to be the father, husband, protector, and provider, until we both came to the understanding that I can be that person, and transgender as well. 34 years of marriage to the best friend I ever had! My wife!
Hi ; I am also a 56year marriage trans. M/F and you are handling it very will . and I must say you are good looking !!
Thank you 💖
A really lovely,honest,kind and strong woman! Just terrific.....hope they can navigate a good,safe new space.
Thank you so so much.
It was wonderful to hear from a wife of a transgendered lady in such a calm and reasonable manner.
I am sorry that both of you have to go through this.
I truly wish you the best.
Thank you Jodi for your comments and well wishes. Yes, being 3 years out from the initial shock of me coming out to her, we have both definitely grown. I know from having gone though it, that it does take time. Patients is one of the most important thing during a persons transition. It's easy to want to rush to the end, like I did, but I'm better for my spouse wanting me to take it slow. It was better for her to adjust and better for me to mentally prepare to going full time. 💖
Wife of 25 years - you look like you are 30.
It's cruel to not just reshuffle the deck 25 years into a marriage but to throw the entire deck out the window of a moving car on her. Jayme should fork over the money so that the former wife can live at a level she is accustom to and take the dog with her.
I agree with all you said!
Absolutely! He owes her the house and alimony. Because he's the one that wrecked her life.
A real counselor or therapist would have gone over her options with her instead of focusing just on him. And pronouns.
i am a trans widow my self, i would love to talk to your wife directly
It's just selfish to do that to someone. If you know damn well you feel like something else or are unsure, stop interfering with heterosexual individuals lives who you know want you for what you were actually born as. I try to support the transitioning stuff, but I don't support this selfish bs. Too many seem to not care about fking up someones happiness or life for their own in a lot of ways. She could have been married to someone who was exactly who they said they were the whole time. Yet, that selfish individual chose to waste her time for their benefit until they were done pretending. Ugh
And he's still gaslighting her so bad, that poor woman actually sat there through that whole video saying she's trying to stop messing up and do everything right. For him. And she can't afford to leave anyway.
That's what divorce attorneys and alimony are for.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Break a relationship off when you dont like it and stop whining. The alternative is they break up with you and then transition without giving you a chance but they actually care for you so they didnt. Use your brain not your emotions
What tools do you employ to deal with being triggered when your partner is dressing differently or their body mannerisms change?
@@exlesoes You’re weak. In the mind.
Thank you Trinity…
Live a happy life, one day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift; for which reason it's called the present.
Personally, every day I wake up, I'm thankful for having the greatest opportunity to make a better version of who I was yesterday and still have my wife to love.
Thank you for this, I am in your shoes, I came out to my wife of 25 years as trans. I am struggling to hold our marriage together and I would stay as a male for her if she stays, but it has been a year and she has so much anger toward me that I am thinking the damage is done. She believes I should have told her before we married, she believes I was lying to her for 25 years :( At least your SO was willing to open up her mind toward you and go to counselling together. I am glad you are in a good place together.
You're welcome and thank you for sharing! My spouse said those same things, but over time I think she's come to understand, after many many conversations, that my mind refused to allow me to accept who I was. Once I finally did accept who I was, I thought about not coming out, but I know that would not have ended well :( Tomorrow is guaranteed to no-one, so it's important to live your life as the true you! Many marriages don't even last 25 years, so we feel fortunate. I hope you can find yourself in a good place too and I wish you the best 💖
@@oliviawutam Do you just copy/paste this very odd comment to every trans video...?
Maybe she’s feeling that way because she could have had a life with someone who did not do this. 25 years is a very long time.
How on earth could she feel that she was not lied to?
I felt the same way that it should have been discussed before marriage. I was so nieve about what it was I fell in such depression.
@@jaymejae.. "tomorrow is guaranteed to no one" .. right. so why waste another person's time?! Using a loving loyal partner for support until YOU decide to end the marriage for a sexual disorder?
selfish
A lot of marriages end, during a transition, unfortunately. :(
gee i wonder why lol
I pray for you. I am sorry for your loss. It is like a death. In my view living together is very difficult . You are giving everything for your former husband. I wish you only the best
Hello I would like to say you are a strong woman,I am a transgender woman I was married 36 years my wife passed away april 2021, we was like one I loved her very much i did not come out until after her passing, in your vidio I am starting to understand what you are talking about,it was like nancy and I when we got married we took the vows and lived by them, when i was married i was a man built a log cabin for nancy where we lived did all the other stuff but after her passing there was no stoping me on coming out,I will say it just feels right when i am Rachel, wish you the best be who you nead to be
Thank you so much for sharing!!! 😊
This was a very valuable video! Thank you so much...I'm sure this will help other woman going through a similar situation. I'm happy your dating. I hope you find that special person to share the rest of your life with. It's a brand new chapter in your life...which is a good thing!
Find a new man. You will keep suffering from those fake memories and its torture the man you once knew and love is Dead.
No it will never get better you will keep remembering those days your old honey was and were. and your sexual life is also ruin. Theres mental truama is this
Your an amazing women and so openly honest.❤️
Thank you Jayme… your video means so much
I know the transition to divorce can be difficult but is your best choice
I feel bad for this woman. many gay men do this ish its wrong. faking a life knowing full well what you are.
Straight/gay has nothing to do with it
Let’s be honest. The husband ruined this beautiful woman’s adult life. How anyone wakes up in the morning knowing they did this to someone is beyond me. He didn’t respect you enough to let you know until decades later. Yet, you have the grace to try and respect the pronouns. You are a better person than most.
porn.
these men are addicted to it
I hadn't considered this phenomenon - trans is usually attributed to younger, unmarried people. Thanks - fascinating stuff.
There are thousands of older men involved
It was mostly middle aged and older AGP's before the activists groups began marketing it and got it turned into a social contagion among children.
That is what years of gaslighting does to persons.
There are support groups for people like us - trans widows or grass widows. Ute Heggen runs a channel
YES!! Ute!!! She's amazing!
Crazy people made crazy things😢😮
You are showing so much courage. However if you still wanted to stay together you could look at it as you married a person not a husband. It is a tough place to be for her as this is something she has been hiding and carrying all her life. I speak from experience. I wish you both well.
I have a question for you that has confused me. Why is it ok and accepted for a woman to dress as a man even Butch her hair Wear men's clothes and shoes but, if a man dresses as he feels his feminine side it's not allowed, and Hes shamed for it? I mean this as an honest question to a woman.
Perhaps because they aren't trying to identify as a man? Unless they've cut their boobs off and growing a beard men will still find that sexy.
As a woman, I have no desire whatsoever to feel anyone else's boobs, especially those of the fit, athletic, strong MAN I married.
@@shad5107your husband is cheating on you.
Because they are not pretending to actually be a man, or claiming to be a man.
Also, if a lesbian married a straight man, that would be just as bad. And if the lesbian had not thought she was a lesbian until after they married, and she lied to him for many years to keep him in the dark about it, that would be just as bad. And it would be over the top insane and extremely abusive of her to expect her husband of many years to just get used to her being a lesbian, and stay married to her in an open marriage when she finally decides to tell him years later.
I’m having a difficult time agreeing to surgery. It’s been extremely hard
Lori, you must think about your goal: what do you want and why. Not all of us have complete surgery (SRS) I can tell you more if you like. otherwise, ask your psychologist to treat you. If in doubt, don't do it
Don't do it. The outcomes aren't good yet.
have fun never having another orgasm and being a permanent medical patient
I could not be as strong as this woman after 25 yeas! Are you kidding?
Wow my wife got more upset then a lot of the spouses on here when she realized that iv been wearing panties ( my own not hers)as my only underwear. Bikini nylon or microfiber no lace or frilly stuff. Just plain jane comfortable supportive underwear. She freaked out and still won't be intimate in anyway and she found out years.
I used to be ok with that kind of thing Bill, he even stole my panties. But he just couldnXt stop there.
She probably sensed your jealousy and got away from it.
Well you lied to her and have obviously turned out to be a different kind of man from what she agreed to marry.
She new i wore them for a year or so after my accident that started me wearing them in the first place. Long story about a very severe groin injury. Nothing sexual at all just underwear.. No more no less
Just goes to prove no matter how good looking and hot your spouse is when one decides it's time to come out, the feelings can be so strong one just does it. 25 years there had to be some idea about her spouses secrets. She's is devastated now but time will heal some wounds. As good looking as she is, once she gets her head right after this she should do ok
I hope her spouse realizes how long a road he has to travel to get to his goal. Good Luck
This is his video, not hers. She's the one in the video. But it seems he's the one that posted it.
Most women would run a mile. Even after 25 years.
I cannot imagine how devastating this is. Time to get a divorce and get that person out. I would get a different roomie. Living with this person is going to keep you mentally tied up. I don’t think I would counsel with a trans center as they would be biased. Get your own counselor who is all about you.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m so sorry your world was thrown in a blender. I hope you’re able to move on and live a life of your choice.
He threw his own life into a blender. He’s not the victim here, his wife is. She’s describing the trauma of this and he’s like “she’s still working on the pronouns” 🙄 how narcissistic can someone be?
It's his wife's life that was thrown into a blender. By him.
@@littlebird3495 Thank you for seeing that and pointing it out. Also, her husband and the 'lgbtqia+ counselor' have brainwashed her into blaming thinking she's in the wrong on everything and owes him pronouns.
That's, why I always tell people to get a real therapist to deal with their loss. And get out and move on. As for her being financially dependent on him to some extent - that's what alimony is for.
@@tinahochstetler2189 My comment was for Trinity.
@@jwhite5396 I'm glad to her that. I wonder if she sees these comments? I see him responding to some of them. Have not seen her here.
My spouse and I have been dealing with me being transgender also. My goal over the years is to do no harm and keep loving her. I tend to be asexual who happened to have fallen in love with her. I was intersex and did have a number of surgeries as a child yet not one doctor told me of my condition. I’ve never had access to my medical records from my childhood. It wasn’t until I was 45 years old and I developed at least stage three testicular-ovarian cancer. Yes i said ovarian.
In all I’ve had twenty eight surgeries of which seven or eight are directly related to my intersex.
I realize your spouse is transgender and I’m intersex but the effect on me and our marriage is the same. I haven’t wanted or needed someone else thenonly person I’ve ever needed was her and I’ll do what ever I need to do to keep her. She has slowly, very slowly , is becoming more accepting.
In my case I’ve had so many surgeries on my bottom that I tell friends that I’m having SRS surgery on the installment plan.
I have no,attention of forcing my spouse into what she would see as a lesbian relationship, that would only come about if she desired. Even then at our age that would bring on interesting challenges.
The only advice I have is to keep doing what you are doing and see what develops. I have no advice about if she wishes to date males as I’ve never had such desires. Even women do not attract me, but for some reason my wife came into my life and we were very happy. Again keep doing what you lovingly need to do.
Just move on with your life, let your spouse go...
It is abuse when these AGP men marry a women while lying about their gender. It is horribly evil
@@claudeyaz AGP is a myth and it has been debunked and the fact that trans men exist too just makes the whole theory crumble bit by bit. Gay trans men also exist too and no one cares about that do they, nope so why is it that when a trans woman is with a cis woman they are called "AGP"? I have never felt any sexual arousal to myself as a woman and in fact there are cis women that are autosexual they are sexually attracted to themselves and I have met an autosexual trans man while I was in the psych ward a few years ago.
Your great my wife divorced me after 38 years won't even touch me says she's not a lesbian same with my family don't talk to me Jennifer
What a betrayal
I hope you both can find happiness
happiness is relative ,💜
@@oliviawutam to what?
My advice to women who find out that their husbands crossdress is to not panic. Probably all your husband wants is the occasional chance to cross dress. If thats all he wants, then maybe you can think of a way in which you could agree on how and when that might happean. If that is all he is doing, then its harmless isn't it? He may not want you to be a part of what he does at all. And you might not want to be a part of it either. Just talk to him. Try to stay calm. Its understandable if you are frightened. But find out whats going on. And give yourself the time to think about whats going on before you decide on what you do next. Cross dressing does not automatically mean your husband is gay or trans.
you're a quite the lady.
the night he told me he wants to transition = Lorena Bobbitt
hell. yes.
Hatred is ugly
Thank you so much for your video. I’m thinking of telling my wife too of my transgender decision. It’s very difficult because I know I would be losing her forever in the way I have known her but I cannot escape who i am and who i wamt to be, its who i am. it would hurt mr to see her date, and be intimate with another man and even marry someone else. i know i dont want to be alone but i would be so happy to find a good man of my own. it is very difficult, i wish i had a coach to encourage me along the way.
Don't do that to her. Separate first.
It would hurt you to see her date and you want to find a man for yourself.
Get out of that woman's house and out of her life and leave her alone. You owe her the house and alimony and let her get on with her life.
helo there
i find this informative , could i use some clips for educational sessession?
Lady I hope you've had the strength to leave this person. You deserve a man without this fetishism, he is AGP not trans.
Anyone who reads that jerk’s comment needs to know that AGP is a fraudulent “theory” created to bolster the hatred that resides in transphobic cis people. It has not withstood scientific scrutiny and is only used by people who wish to hurt trans women.
I would love to meet Trinity. Where do you folks live?
You are one very attractive woman
Oh my god, poor woman.
yeah transitioning is hard it's not easy
@@Simpy553I’m talking about the wife, the actual woman in the relationship, not the pervy man.
@@insidiousmischka How is she a perv can you prove it coz making claims with no evidence is what fucking bigots do. Also the better the trans woman looks the more angrier/jealous you get, you don't like it that they feel confident within themselves and thrive. Just because you are miserable and ugly doesn't mean you get to hate an anyone else for living their life you are a good example of misery loves company. Its true misery loves company and you put people down just because they are different from you and you are also the same pigs that would call a trans man her age a "confused woman" and then call a 12 year old trans girl a "pervert". I walked into a girls bathroom when I was 5 and then they pulled me out then called my parents then told then that their child is a pervert like they said it to my mom's face that I her 5 year old was a pervert. I am 23 now and I am a passing trans girl and I am just out here living my life while you are prolly into trans women but you are ashamed to say it. I get hit on by lesbians a lot tbh with you but I prefer couples because I am openly bisexual.
Beautiful mature lady
What a shame this trans man didn’t or couldn’t transition before puppetry.
There is no trans man. You've clearly commented on the wrong video.
My fiancée and I are staying engaged. I thought I was non-binary for a while, but recently could no longer deny my womanhood. I'm attracted to women, too, though; she is bi, but she is grieving the loss of the person she was attracted to
I hope someday you'll find love again and be with them for their personality; not by gender.
What a crappy, passive aggressive thing to say!
@@sylviayoung9009 I know. What a dorky thing to say.
OMG as to what you both are going through! My heart goes out to you both. I know it is so hard. So many things to be said from both angles.
My wife and I have both been married before with two kids each and combined families 7 years ago. I told her about me. I told her how I felt.
I never thought that I would get to the point of actually transitioning because I thought I could just keep it behind closed doors. I fooled me but not her. At 49, last year, and a couple of years into hormones, I did it!
We have never been happier with me finally being able to give my whole self to her. I know I told her upfront. I know that is different than your situation. I get that totally. I do not at all mean to offend either one of you.
Love and loyalty is hard to find. I really hope that your love for one another supersedes.
Its different. It's not societies norm but its OUR NEW NORMAL and nothing better!
My heart with you both and nothing but love.
Lexi
I find it very hard to understand if you love someone you marry, why would you not still love them, trans or not....types out there talk of trans peoples as if we are wrong or bad, when, factually, speaking, 90% of incarcerated people who have committed horrific crimes, have committed horrific crimes historically, are men or women, not trans people.
I’m trans but I haven’t told my wife, I don’t know how she’ll take it, I know she will file for divorce instantly and move out or make me move out. I don’t want to lose her but if she ever found out then I will go 100 percent trans and live as a woman. It’s very difficult, however I do think she suspects something, we haven’t been intimate in years.
LET HER GO! You're deceit lies and perversion are destroying what's left of that woman! Do the right thing! let her go!
Stop taking advantage and abusing your wife. You owe her the house and alimony.
To Jayme:
Oh, you're "allowing" her to get used to using pronouns that match your internal feelings rather than your visible sex?
How magnanimous of you.
Thank you for your comment and the sarcasm is not lost :P. I wanted to clarify that I'm not "allowing" her to misgender me. If she doesn't catch it I'll correct her, I just don't start tipping over TV's ;-). I purposely left the misgendering in the video to show spouses that they are going to struggle and slip up, as long as it's not mean or malicious. I don't get misgendered in public so it's subconscious and habit.
Why wait till you are married with kids?
DUMP HIM! He is a selfish jerk!
Exactly!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Gorgeous woman 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
🙏🙏❤️🌹
Yikes😮😮
Poor woman.
Leave the sicko😊
Is your husband bisexual as well?
Get out of there lady! Start a new page with your life.
How refreshing is that video 🌈
❤
You are a very lovely woman and you have given me the courage to come out to my wife and we are working together she said she knew something was wrong she thought I was having an affair and she see it just like you she is more like a good friend. I would just like to thank you both god bless
Don't you like girls?
@Lingchow1 Irrelevant and ignorant
Wow,,you are absolutely a beautiful woman,,hope things get better
It's an epidemic
Why are u so obsessed with less than 1% if the population? Also transphobia is an epidemic not only that we native Americans actually had a much better understanding of LGBTQ folks and that was torn apart thanx to EUROPEAN COLONIZATION with foreign "values" being forced on us.
Jayme I would love to chat with you. I’m a 57 year old Trans Woman of 2 years. I’ve been married 25 years and holding.
DM me on Instagram @jayme.jae
I don't want to be gossipy but im interesting on the subject. Im about to open up to my wife and i dont want to hurt herself again (after she found me maybe as a crossdresser, several times after i promise never again) But is something that i can't die without experience it and i feel like dying if i put my wife in this situation ( once again and forever ). Im concerns what you, as spouses think and how you handled and most of all, how do you relieve yourself and recover from this. With love, a worried husband who prefered to die instead of make unhappy a loving person.
hey thank god you guys didnt have kids. then it wouldve been incredibly selfish.
As I thought after giving her time no response imagines that! Women can wear and appear as they want but if a man does it's not accepted period!
🤨🤨😒😒
I am seeking a nice transgendered lady for marriage my dear lady yours Kelly from Canada
Hi am going through the process right now please get back to me
25 years:) wow. It is interesting how transgender people expect from others to understand them, and they don't understand that their wife maybe doesn't want to be married to a girl?!
That is a typical froad, and you are doing that to the person you say you love. You don't love that person, you only love yourself that is the truth.
I can understand that in the beginning a person come out and say I am this and this and than the other side will decide is she for that or not. But to lie to a person for 2 decades that is not normal.
I have lots of gay friends, transgender friends as well, but honest ones:) and that's why I support them. Any person that whould pretend for 30 years that he is a man, and while having sex he imagine some John ahhha that is not normal. I whould cut of a person like that, nor because he or she is transgender I don't have a problem like that, for me thar person lied to his family probably to have kids:)
That type of person I whould just show the door.
Such an ironic username....
Right. They are just selfish ass people in a lot of ways.
Yes! Use your brain! You are absolutely correct! We’re dealing with a narcissist extraordinaire!
@@DrayseSchneider haha! I was just thinking that user name is perfect! Unfortunately, brains have gone down the crapper along with common sense!
@@ruthtirado2750 You might want to reword your statement, or delete it altogether. You sound as if you are agreeing with me, independent of all your other posts. Screenshot captured for posterity.
wow your wife is good looking. i can see why you want to hold on to her
Im totally against transgender ppl. God made you the way he wanted you to be. THIS IS SO WRONG IMO
I have seen that sometimes the wife of GF picks up on feminine mannerism or weak emotions that they not so surprised when he does come out as transgender.
Weak emotions? Get out of here. That tells me all I need to know about your attitude to women.
Although it's clear she has shown a mature attitude towards your transition, the day she said she wanted to date others, I would have invited her to the door. Her reasoning behind wanting to stay under the same roof is all for naught, because basically she's staying out of convenience until she can find the man she wants who can secure her future, then she'll be gone. I know that sounds harsh, but it's the cold reality. As a transgender woman, I would expect more from my spouse! I have several friends who have come out to their spouse, and they are not only being incredibly supportive, they continue to LOVE them, because it is STILL the same person they married. Your gender identity does NOT make your marriage. The marriage you had for 25 years does define it. She didn't seem to have a problem with throwing the baby out with the bath water and that is unfortunate. I wish you luck, I hope she will eventually come around and not be so hung up on the whole "Oh, I'm heteorsexual and I can't do this". Best wishes to you both!
Thank you for your comment and well wishes! You definitely have some valid points. Let me elaborate on a couple of considerations. The decision to date others was mutual as I also am free to date, and the moment my Prince shows up in his/her red convertible Audi R8, I'm outa here too 😂. We did consider separating, however that would mean lowering both our standards of living because we would double most of the expenses, like housing, utilities etc. Since we still love each other and get along well, it made more sense to stay under the same roof. I do differ on the gender identity and marriage, in that when we look for a mate, someone to spend the rest of our life with, gender does play a role in that. Her not being lesbian or bi causes issues for me too. We both want to be sexually intimate with the person we're sharing our life with and that's not possible with us. We are both in a good place right now and thank you again for your well wishes 💖
That's enormously obnoxious
The “T”’s are insane!
She said yes to marrying a man who pretended to be okay with being a man for years. Not knowingly saying yes to a man wanting to be a woman. She isn't gay so why would she still feel the same about being with a "woman"? That just speaks volumes that you are as self centered as it gets, if you lie and deceive the whole relationship until you are ready to be accepted for something else. Change someone else's whole reality, yet you still expect all of this love and loyalty that makes you an insanely self centered delusional person.
@@PhoenixRise0101 So you think he just pretended for years until he thought she was going to be ok with it, then sprung it on her? It doesn't work that way. Being trans is not the same as being gay. We aren't just "in the closet" and then just come out one day. There is a tremendous amount of confusion, because often times even though we are Transgender, we are still attracted to women, especially our spouse. There is incredible self-guilt, a feeling of not being worthy of anyone, a feeling that we are somehow defective and many trans have other mental illnesses piled on top of all that! So, it's quite common for a trans person to actually go to the other extreme for years (essentially over-compensating), like somehow that is going to fix us. If you speak to many trans women especially, you'll find many of them are veterans. Again, they went and did that super masculine career hoping it was going to "fix" them. Then there is usually some trigger point where the pot boils over and there is no turning back. If you have a Spouse who has been with you that many years, it's not a self-centered attitude to think they should understand. I came out to my gf before we were even engaged and she still has accepted me for who I am! So no, don't buy your bullying attitude. Sorry....
You could be a lesbian wife!😉
Well, if you don't want him/ her, I'll take him/ her, anytime !!
People change, relationships change as we grow. but please, this is why you need to encourage people to be their true selves as soon as possible.
Until he detransition back
@@TheeSilentObserverz The vast majority of the less than 1% that detransition do so because of unsatisfactory cosmetic changes or social,family rejection. Not because they realise they were not the chosen gender .