put some respect on his name ! "Sir Seagal was a key member of the Gravy Seal's Meal Team Six"!!! I watched him give his blood, sweat and tears to fight for Democracy in Lichtenstein !
@@garyw8824 Pfft, casual. As we speak I have a stunt double in the casket, ready to do my funeral on my behalf. I have attained theoretical immortality via the use of stunt doubles and can no longer be stopped.
As mentioned in this video, Gene LeBell claimed to have rendered Sensei Seagal unconscious (impossible), which led to Steven defecating in his pants. Where's Gene LeBell, you ask? 6 feet under! Coincidence? I think not! Yeah, LeBell passed at the ripe old age of 89, so people assume it was due to natural causes, but anyone in the know knows Seagal Dim Mak'd LeBell, and he didn't even have to stand up to do so. Scary stuff, man. Not the kind of guy you want to leave negative comments about in the comment section of a RUclips video, that's for damn sure.
While Sir Christopher Lee did lead a very interesting life most of his very badass stuff was second-hand or observer experience. He wasn't precisely James Bond and no one's going to come out of the woodwork to smear him from his generation, those dudes just weren't cut like that. So, we'll never know. I love to remember him as a man with a colorful life, an erudite gentleman and scholar with a distinctive swagger you couldn't imitate if you tried. Now I'll really piss people off if I talk about his contemporary Sir Ian McKellen who I love to death but is dangerously prone to exaggeration for the sake of comedic effect or making a point. Who I'd just like to say I also love as an actor and seeing on screen and I agree with him on a surprising number of things, but yeah. Some of his claims just uh, don't add up. At least with Sir Christopher he preferred to neither confirm nor deny some of the more radical claims about his life.
@@OGRamrod Are you fully aware of who Sir Ian McKellen & Sir Chistopher Lee were before they became actors? (Guys who claim to have "worked with" the pointy end of the stick were more often the pointy end of the stick than guys who claim to have been the pointy end of the stick have even seen combat.)
I loved Rob Schneider's story about working with Seagal, and one day he saw Steven coming out of his trailer with a dazed look on his face. Seagal's like: "Rob! Guess what, I just read the greatest script I have ever read in my life." Schneider was like: "Cool. Who wrote it?" "I did..."
@@RolandDeschain1 it was said on the set of the Glimmer Man where Wayne's co-starred with Sagal Wayne's told Schneider about it after watch the Howard Stern interview
I went to high school in Alaska in the early 90s and one of my classmates disappeared from school for a week. When he got back he told a bunch of us how his mom worked for some sort of backwoods tour company for celebrities, where a Hollywood star could be dropped off out in the wilderness of Alaska (with a party of experienced outdoorsmen to support them) and go out hiking and hunting and camping. My classmate was a huge Steven Seagal movie fan, so when Seagal's agent or PA or whatever signed him up for one of these vacation packages his mom arranged for him to go along on the trip. He was so disappointed. Apparently Steven Seagal hated hiking. They barely left the cabin where they stayed at. He drank beer endlessly, and kept yelling at the helpers to bring him a new beer every time he ran out. He bagged a pretty nice elk but didn't want the head OR the meat and COMPLAINED THAT THE RIFLE WAS SO LOUD. My classmate's mom's boss called up Seagal's agent after they flew back and informed him that he was not welcome to use their services anymore. Supposedly the agent was not at all surprised by this response.
In regards to Seagal's divorce. Whilst still married Seagal left with their savings with the intention of becoming an actor and he'd send for her once he 'made it big.' He never sent for her. He just deserted her. Just left her.
While with the Police on a shooting range, Steven Seagal emptied a full mag at a target with a pistol. A policeman said to him: "You only hit it once." Seagal replied: "No. The first one hit, the rest went through the same hole." True story.
"Seagal is like a rich & famous Dragonlord tbh." If I didn't watch this YT channel, I'd have NO IDEA what you were referring to. Because I HAVE watched Dankula for over a year, I DO know who you're talking about! And you're right -- Seagal is like Dragonlord with loads of cash!
The third thing I remember the most about Under Siege (#1 being the cake scene, #2 being Tommy Lee Jones embarassing himself) is just how unconfortable the girl looks at the end when she and Seagal are supposed to be all in love and whatever. Seagal is legit what people with TDS think Trump is.
their divorce is actually a really important part of the story as far as Seagull's character goes. They had a dojo in Japan. Mr Seagull went back to America and married another woman, leaving his poor Japanese wife alone in Japan with a kid and a dojo to run.
Seagal uses stunt doubles for walking upstairs scenes. When he “fights” on camera, sometimes he doesn’t even bother getting up from his chair to do it.
His uncle never quite got around to showing us how he could beat Joe Rogan in a fight either. That would have been a pay per view I would have gladly shelled out for even though it would have been over before I got comfortable on the couch.
I don’t know, I watched a video about “day drinking and smoking cigarettes in a park at 3pm” for absolutely no reason at all. I didn’t need to watch it, I could’ve just done it. 🤦♂️
Lol Seagal did a movie in my state and he was a complete nightmare. The production got him an accurate stunt double and he took one look and said "he's too fat" (imagine that) so they let him pick his own stunt double and who do you think he picks? The future stunt double for Chris Pratt in all the Marvel movies who was about 100 pounds lighter than Seagal. That poor guy had to show up hours early every day to get a fat suit put on him, and he was told on no uncertain terms that he could admit he was wearing a fat suit to Seagal or he'd be fired. He was supposed to pretend that his extra girth came from his tactical vest. On top of that, Seagal got in trouble for literally punching stunt men in the face until they bled, bringing underage prostitutes to his trailer, and just not showing up to shoot. His double ended up doing almost all his scenes for him, including some scenes where he's on camera that they just dub over in his voice. What a POS.
I don't think there's a bigger POS in hollywood. What gets me is what he did to his poor Japanese wife. He just went back to America and deserted her, with a kid, and with a dojo they were running together. Some madam butterfly type crap except 10x worse
Did you work on the production of this film? You seem to know a lot of the behind the scene details about what went on, and what people were told to say and do.
@@austinhuber3131 The way I see this, there is only 1 of 3 possibilities here. Either you worked extensively behind the scenes on this film in order for you to have this level of knowledge about what was said and done off screen, or second, someone told you this story, and you completely believed it without question, or the third and by far most likely option is you made up the entire story, and you didn't expect to get called out for it.
"There's an old zen story, 2 monks that were walking across the bridge, and the junior monk ask... his teacher, "What is the Buddha nature?", and the older monk picked him up and threw him in the water... you know?" - Stevie Senegal
Mad lads suggestion - the crew of the WWI german Battleship Emden. They were in China when the war broke out, their ship was sunk near Australia and they made it back to Germany using old sailing boats, falseflag traders, got involved in fighting in the Arabic peninsula and finally by rail. Absolutely amazing story.
Juijutsu is the gentle art of folding clothes while people are still in them, Akido is the art of introducing someone to the ground so you can run away
@@winstonsmith8240Fun Fact: They had to invent IMAX to get him in frame. They made mormal camera lenses as short as they could, and found that a focal length of a negative number wasn't physically possible.
America: Here, Russia, you can have our Steven Seagal. Russia: Ok, we'll trade you our Alexander Nevsky (Kuritsyn). America: ... this is the same person. Russia: No, this one's not a weeb, he's obsessed with Schwarzenegger instead.
Back in the 90s I was in a martial arts class with a few friends. So we would look through Black Belt Magazine. There was frequently a full page ad for The Steven Seagal Fan Club. The ad gave a list of things you get with your membership. One was an official membership card. This lead to the idea of walking around, someone looks like they might start trouble, so you pull out your wallet and say "I'm warning you, I'm a member of The Steven Seagal Fan Club." As you display the card. 😂😂😂
Damn, I hope you kept it. You never know when you might need a power tool of intimidation like that. Make anyone foolish enough to try and attack you think twice.
Seaguls personality and ego can be perfectly described by the physical properties of a Prince Rupert's drop. It appears to be Ironclad and indestructible from the front but apply the slightest pressure in the wrong spot and the entire thing shatters into a million pieces
Hi ya! Dude the glasses were already killing me then you dropped that in there. Good shit man, I was struggling not to laugh through this whole video so I could hear what you were saying. 😂
@@decorumlopez9147 I wish I'd thought about getting a pair of those glasses and a fake leather jacket, 🧥 could have been Segal for Halloween. Might have been too scary for the kids though.
It’s absolutely no surprise to me at all the first clip of his street fight performance at 13:40 has him deflect one or two firsts, then kicks a guy in the ghoolies. Apparently this was his ‘go-to’ when challenging young actors on sets of his films. The story goes young actors challenged him akin to the well known story of Bruce Lee and an actor on the set of Enter The Dragon… so naturally Sensei Seagull must have taken this and adopted his own legend… however instead of a fair fight he would take young extras or whatever, tell them he would teach them better fight choreography etc… and swiftly kick them below. What a truly martial arts legend.
My wife is a massive Southern Blues fan, and bought tickets for Steven Seagal's blues band (I'm sure as revenge for me taking her to see Metallica) in Market Harborough Football Club in 07! He was f***ing aweful! He came on in an oversized Hawain shirt covering an obvious corset and stood in the middle of the stage like a big, bloated, statue playing really simple Blues riffs and being carried by his backing band. I got bored and stood at the front and shouted "Chuck Norris could kick your arse!" to the hilarity of the rest of the bored patrons around me. Interestingly we heard later that he had booked Market Harborough as a date on his UK tour thinking it was a massive place instead of the 200 max little sports hall and that he had tried to back out when he found out what he had actually booked but the management company said "Do that and we'll sue the hell out of you! But I have to say BEST. GIG. EVER! not for the quality of his music but for the amount of laughter and mickey taking involved!
@cabnbeeschurgr6440 oh God I can already imagine the Incident being narrated by Dank "Then, on May 1, 2016 while getting ready to livestream, Darksydephil got too comfy and started pounding the hog... (face-zoom) with the camera still on"
@@matthewhinkel6079 Oh, I've seen "The Incredible Bulk". Now, the makers of that "film" aren't going to admit this for completely understandable legal reasons, but "The Bulk's" dainty little running style was *directly* lifted from early Sifu movies. They used a rotoscope, I think.
One thing Segal did which was selfless was to donate his custom Fleming Firearms full auto HK51w/Suppressor used in one of his movies to Bill Fleming to raffle off to pay for his wife's colon cancer treatment. This was a minimum $50K form 4 transferable machinegun. Now he might have realized he wasn't coming back to America and wouldn't have access to it, but he still could have sold it for a profit instead of donating it. Unfortunately, Bill's wife Katt died from a blood clot not long after the cancer treatment was completed.
@@generalmarkmilleyisbenedic8895 I'll have you know, I was the Grand Master Of Latrines and you are false valor on the subject, also the check didn't clear.
@@fortheloveofkingI'm guessing you never spent time there. I don't know how it is now but as recently as 12 years ago california was great. The politics were bad, and the Hollywood types sucked, but there was tons to do, you could experience hundreds of cultures in a single city, at the time it wasn't significantly more expensive than my hometown (chicago), the food was world-class, the weather was beautiful, and most of the people were great. The blind hate for california on the right despite all the great things about it is as stupid as the left's hate for the middle of the country.
@@zhuyu9268 no this is just Michigan nationalism. Our state is perfect so clearly anyone who leaves has a few screws loose. I say this with 0% bias as a proud Michigander. Clearly he went wrong the moment he crossed the state line into Ohio. A true cautionary tale...
I did google that Reggae song, has to be heard to be believed, and I had to watch that energy drink ad of his a few times, I'm sure they weren't even at the same location, can't believe it exists. This is what RUclips was made for. This was awesome.
The fact that he got to administer sausage to Kelly le Brock at least three times is unbelievable. That's got to be in the top 10 injustices/defilements of all time.
To be fair Kelly Le Brock is known to be such a foul mouthed wild B****. The Hall and Oates song "Man-eater" was inspired after Daryl Hall meeting aforementioned model/actress in a party.
I played drums in a pub band that was in one of his "movie/TV shows" lol.. he sat & jammed with us in the "episode/film/" I was terrified, one cuz he's the size of a building. But I also suck at playing his style of music.. I was worried cuz I he sat in a chair within striking distance to me.. !!! Lol
Here's an example of Steven Seagal's reputation as a Hollywood Bully: During a rehearsal of Executive Decision, Seagal was doing his own version of method acting by playing the supporting character as if he actually was him, by saying this to the cast: "I'm in command, what I say is law. Anybody doesn't agree?" John Leguizamo, Seagal's co-star at the time, started laughing at him, thinking he was playing a joke on everybody and thought he sounded stupid. But after he laughed, Seagal Punched Leguizamo and shoved him right against a brick wall, knocking the air out of him. While working on the script, the writers originally wanted to have Seagal's character die from decompression and have his head blow up. Some see it as a nod to how much of a growing ego Seagal has.
The director of THE PATRIOT was legendary Australian cinematographer Dean Semler. He tells the story of going to Seagal's house to meet about the movie, and said his house was full of beautiful Asian women who all called him "Master".
![Noob To Max With DRAGON REWORK In Blox Fruits [FULL MOVIE]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LnBMOinoOvA/mqdefault.jpg)
Go to buyraycon.com/dankula for 20-50% off sitewide! Brought to you by Raycon.
your outfit was sick
@MaphistosChosen he has the same body type as the modern Steven Seagal only shorter like a dwarf Steven Seagal
he walks with an air of confidence rarely seen these days
Haha the Seagull, finally!! :D Cheers mate
You looked just like a thin Seagal 👏
In Honor of Sensei Seagal, Dankula filmed this whole video while seated in a chair.
Actually laughed out loud at this
Glorious comment
Dankula is A Good Man
Well done, Sir.😅
😂😂😂😂
Fucking tops, absolute gold.
Dankula cosplaying as the subject of Mad Lads should be a regular thing.
It'll be fun till Dank covers some german WWII madlad (like Otto Skorzeny)
kinda wanna see him dressed up as Ghengis Khan now
I'm gonna need another Purple Aki video if that's the case
Just bring on Buddha to play the role.@@notachilean7942
Please daddy
Sensei Chubby Cheeks is the reason I took up martial arts, guitar, sexual assault and money laundering. Truly a great man to emulate.
😂
Steven Se Boom Boom!
Sensei birthday snatcher
Segalians forever
same, he is also the reason, that i decided, in my great wisdom, to became, a buddhist deity
That escalated quickly.😂
A pathological liar being surrounded by yes men is always a recipe for some hilarious antics
The crew must hate him. I remember the scene where he says "Ass hole alert" and the camera zooms in and holds right on his face.
I like Steven Seagal, he is cool. はや!!!
Cory Feldman comes directly to mind
You said it, buddy!
Dank looks the part quite well. He just is missing 300+ lbs.
Seagal was a key member of the Gravy Seal's Meal Team Six
Code name- John Thicc.
👍
put some respect on his name ! "Sir Seagal was a key member of the Gravy Seal's Meal Team Six"!!! I watched him give his blood, sweat and tears to fight for Democracy in Lichtenstein !
He won the Congressional Medal of Hollandaise
Meal team twix***
In sniper special ops he had a stunt double for walking up stairs. Walking up stairs.
😂 you gotta be sh*tt*ng me?
Crazy how far he let himself go. He used to be a beast when it came to running in the 80s & early 90s
I heard that too. 😅
He's a rookie ..I had a stunt double type this comment
@@garyw8824 Pfft, casual. As we speak I have a stunt double in the casket, ready to do my funeral on my behalf.
I have attained theoretical immortality via the use of stunt doubles and can no longer be stopped.
You better not make fun of Steven Seagal. I also joked about him once, and the next day my fridge was gone.
Youre not joking. I once made fun of seagal, and a few months later my car got bipped for a carton of Newports. Coincidence? I don't think so.
You too?! I had the same thing happen! Except, only the food was missing; the fridge was thankfully left behind.
Steven Seagal came into my house and ripped my cat in half with his bare hands because I had this video playing
As mentioned in this video, Gene LeBell claimed to have rendered Sensei Seagal unconscious (impossible), which led to Steven defecating in his pants. Where's Gene LeBell, you ask? 6 feet under! Coincidence? I think not! Yeah, LeBell passed at the ripe old age of 89, so people assume it was due to natural causes, but anyone in the know knows Seagal Dim Mak'd LeBell, and he didn't even have to stand up to do so. Scary stuff, man. Not the kind of guy you want to leave negative comments about in the comment section of a RUclips video, that's for damn sure.
@@samael4550* bear hands. You meant BEAR hands… Removed from the animal by Steven himself.
Aikido, Karate, Wing Chun , and Jujitsu are dangerous words that Steven Seagal knows.
Everybody Wing Chun tonight
He is well-practiced in Chow Mein
Show some respect. The man is a gravy seal.
@@jimjamauto Taught to him by his master, Lo Mein.
Gravy and pork chops too
Where Christopher Lee is the person we imagine ourselves to be, Steven Seagal is who we actually are
.... That hurt.
I think myself more as handsome-less jack or cave Johnson
While Sir Christopher Lee did lead a very interesting life most of his very badass stuff was second-hand or observer experience. He wasn't precisely James Bond and no one's going to come out of the woodwork to smear him from his generation, those dudes just weren't cut like that. So, we'll never know. I love to remember him as a man with a colorful life, an erudite gentleman and scholar with a distinctive swagger you couldn't imitate if you tried.
Now I'll really piss people off if I talk about his contemporary Sir Ian McKellen who I love to death but is dangerously prone to exaggeration for the sake of comedic effect or making a point. Who I'd just like to say I also love as an actor and seeing on screen and I agree with him on a surprising number of things, but yeah. Some of his claims just uh, don't add up. At least with Sir Christopher he preferred to neither confirm nor deny some of the more radical claims about his life.
@@OGRamrod Are you fully aware of who Sir Ian McKellen & Sir Chistopher Lee were before they became actors? (Guys who claim to have "worked with" the pointy end of the stick were more often the pointy end of the stick than guys who claim to have been the pointy end of the stick have even seen combat.)
i just read this in Christopher Lee voice and then started to whisper
The fact that he's been making these terrible movies for years, but still flinches every time he shoots a gun is mind boggling.
No look flinch shooting is one of his best moves, right behind chair-jutsu.
Under Siege was a fantastic movie.
The rest... Not so much.
@@Avtomat4774 Yeah the one hit wonder.
His movies are money laundering ventures
@@Avtomat4774Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey really made that movie
My favorite bit about Seagal is that he always looks like he just took a giant shit in his pants. Slightly concerned while slightly stoic about it.
Watching and hoping he covers the Gene LaBell story. Here it is!
Spot on
@@sewfix8330haha spot
That's actually a great cue for anyone trying to learn a Steven Seagal impression, are you an acting coach or something? 😂
I heard he looked nothing like it, however, when he actually did shit his pants.
My dad went to high school with him in Buena Park CA. Dad didnt say much about him, but laughed when watching his movies.
I loved Rob Schneider's story about working with Seagal, and one day he saw Steven coming out of his trailer with a dazed look on his face. Seagal's like: "Rob! Guess what, I just read the greatest script I have ever read in my life."
Schneider was like: "Cool. Who wrote it?"
"I did..."
Man knows his own talent. Nothing wrong with that.
That's the most Seagal thing I've ever heard.
Keenen Ivory Wayans told Rob Schneider that story Seagal said that to Wayne's not Schneider
@@DNSV-ex8of Well Rob is telling it as if it happened to him.
@@RolandDeschain1 it was said on the set of the Glimmer Man where Wayne's co-starred with Sagal Wayne's told Schneider about it after watch the Howard Stern interview
A master of Bullshido
You win
Don’t insult Master Ken like that 😂😂😂
winning
He should see the martial art of Kaspin
How original
I went to high school in Alaska in the early 90s and one of my classmates disappeared from school for a week. When he got back he told a bunch of us how his mom worked for some sort of backwoods tour company for celebrities, where a Hollywood star could be dropped off out in the wilderness of Alaska (with a party of experienced outdoorsmen to support them) and go out hiking and hunting and camping. My classmate was a huge Steven Seagal movie fan, so when Seagal's agent or PA or whatever signed him up for one of these vacation packages his mom arranged for him to go along on the trip.
He was so disappointed.
Apparently Steven Seagal hated hiking. They barely left the cabin where they stayed at. He drank beer endlessly, and kept yelling at the helpers to bring him a new beer every time he ran out. He bagged a pretty nice elk but didn't want the head OR the meat and COMPLAINED THAT THE RIFLE WAS SO LOUD.
My classmate's mom's boss called up Seagal's agent after they flew back and informed him that he was not welcome to use their services anymore. Supposedly the agent was not at all surprised by this response.
See, Dankula wasn't teaching the Austrian painter salute to his pug, he was training it to be an Akido master.
Hail Akido!
True
"G the Js" is a _very_ common Akido mantra
Haha!
So he was training his pug to be even _more_ dangerous ...?!!?
@Fr4ncM so did the Austrian painter 😂
In regards to Seagal's divorce.
Whilst still married Seagal left with their savings with the intention of becoming an actor and he'd send for her once he 'made it big.'
He never sent for her.
He just deserted her. Just left her.
Well, Sifu couldn't have anything hold him back from his greatness now, could he?
Tough move to pull off for regular players
Yeh.
"I'm just going to a gas station in America to get cigarettes."
to be fair, he never made it big 😁
"The man walks (waddles) with an air of confidence that's rarely seen in this day and age"
SIFU SEAGALL!!!!!
@@spacequack5470 Jason Brant's SBIG?
Man, Steven Seagull's Dankula impression is spot on. He seems just like him.
he's been doing it for like, 97 years.
@@kenabi97 Billion years
Who knew Steven seagull could do a convincing Welsh accent
I wonder if performing a dank impression this good has had negative side affects.... like developing a taste for well-done steaks and inflation porn
Even the slight lean back with locking your fingers over your (belly) 8 pack of abs. Spot on
While with the Police on a shooting range, Steven Seagal emptied a full mag at a target with a pistol.
A policeman said to him: "You only hit it once."
Seagal replied: "No. The first one hit, the rest went through the same hole."
True story.
And they believed him*
Kim Jong Il skills
@@_BirdOfGoodOmen Dear Feeder
Didn't his sheriff unit apc run over a puppy irl busting down a fence for some g ay af reality TV episode.
😂😂😂 man he sucks
im so happy Dank dropped the online persona for this video and was just his regular Seagal loving self
More Mad than Lad...
bad lad
Nice one!
Under Siege was a good movie
These days more lard than lad
Sad Lad
Seagal is like a rich & famous Dragonlord tbh.
Hau ab !!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
@@Godzillafan1980 Rainer ruhe!
@@Shiroiji 😁
"Seagal is like a rich & famous Dragonlord tbh."
If I didn't watch this YT channel, I'd have NO IDEA what you were referring to.
Because I HAVE watched Dankula for over a year, I DO know who you're talking about!
And you're right -- Seagal is like Dragonlord with loads of cash!
😂😂😂
The third thing I remember the most about Under Siege (#1 being the cake scene, #2 being Tommy Lee Jones embarassing himself) is just how unconfortable the girl looks at the end when she and Seagal are supposed to be all in love and whatever.
Seagal is legit what people with TDS think Trump is.
TDS sufferers are Uber cringe.
Dankula after walking past a dojo on his way to greggs
you know damn well he doesn't walk.
McDojo
Sausage rolls are his kryptonite.
was his pug being racist?
their divorce is actually a really important part of the story as far as Seagull's character goes. They had a dojo in Japan. Mr Seagull went back to America and married another woman, leaving his poor Japanese wife alone in Japan with a kid and a dojo to run.
Knowing the genes of seagal are out there putting a blemish on japan is a frightening thought.
@@SPTX. it really isn't the kids' fault
@@thymii Yes but that only makes it sad as well.
@@SPTX.genes do not make a character and way of thinking
Seagal uses stunt doubles for walking upstairs scenes. When he “fights” on camera, sometimes he doesn’t even bother getting up from his chair to do it.
Oh no. Dankula is going through his Steven Seagal phase.
He's Out For Justice because he's been Marked for Death on Deadly Ground. Dank's been Under Siege before, though, and knows no one is Above the Law.
The divorce must have hit him hard :(
He has been diagnosed as a wereseagal.
@@scockery "All this and more at Ram Ranch!"
@@scockerywell done
Holy hell that opening scared me, it looked like you were about to snatch all my birthdays.
That's syphilis!
Seems you were born at night.
guess you were born on the turnip truck
his father is a Russian, uh, Mongol...Tatar.
Every mother f*ucking birthday!
So he's basically Chuck Norris, except he makes up all the facts himself.
I remember when Steven Seagal appeared as the final Boss in the Machete movie. I nearly died of laughter.
So Steven's on-screen appearance was so powerful it nearly killed you via media alone .. His power is unfathomable !
@boomerix he still refused to be killed on screen, his ego wouldn't allow another man to overpower him, so they allowed him to kill himself.
Even more hilarious is that he is supposedly Mexican.
Puñieta
I am old enough to remember when Steven Seagal actually took credit for Anderson Silva’s kicking.
I am old enough to remember when Seagal didn’t need a walking double.
I'm old enough to remember when Sifu was still capable of running like a girl.
Jesus Christ... I am old enough that I watched Under Siege in the cinema.
@@xSmilinBanditxI take your Under Siege and raise you Nico….. 😂
@@averagemamil4523 God damn I had to Google that!
"Why Ronda Rousey would want to shit in his pants" Had me on the Floor.
Seagal: “Woah, I’m Putin’s Top Guy!”
If Putin says your his top guy, your his top guy
More like puddings top guy these days
Based.
Wait, what...
What do I do now, he said I’m his top guy!
'What am I gonna do?!?!?!'
Stevens lack of willingness to fight for real reminds me of Hassan Piker.
His uncle never quite got around to showing us how he could beat Joe Rogan in a fight either. That would have been a pay per view I would have gladly shelled out for even though it would have been over before I got comfortable on the couch.
Considering his height and weight chances are he'd still beat your ass tho
Hassan is scared of the Candyman Sam Hyde
Seagal WILL fight but he insists on wearing diapers, I don't quite know why...
@@TheThreatActor "I'm coming to (RUclips no-no word) you!" XD
I have an oversized black sweater that I use to conceal my width. I refer it as my Steven Segal sweater.
Have you ever been waiting for something without even knowing you're waiting for it? Yeah, that's what this is.
Totally!
You nailed it my friend.
I don’t know, I watched a video about “day drinking and smoking cigarettes in a park at 3pm” for absolutely no reason at all.
I didn’t need to watch it, I could’ve just done it. 🤦♂️
@@jcmac7709gotta love Jacob fucking smokes
Lol Seagal did a movie in my state and he was a complete nightmare. The production got him an accurate stunt double and he took one look and said "he's too fat" (imagine that) so they let him pick his own stunt double and who do you think he picks? The future stunt double for Chris Pratt in all the Marvel movies who was about 100 pounds lighter than Seagal. That poor guy had to show up hours early every day to get a fat suit put on him, and he was told on no uncertain terms that he could admit he was wearing a fat suit to Seagal or he'd be fired. He was supposed to pretend that his extra girth came from his tactical vest.
On top of that, Seagal got in trouble for literally punching stunt men in the face until they bled, bringing underage prostitutes to his trailer, and just not showing up to shoot. His double ended up doing almost all his scenes for him, including some scenes where he's on camera that they just dub over in his voice. What a POS.
I don't think there's a bigger POS in hollywood. What gets me is what he did to his poor Japanese wife. He just went back to America and deserted her, with a kid, and with a dojo they were running together. Some madam butterfly type crap except 10x worse
Did you work on the production of this film? You seem to know a lot of the behind the scene details about what went on, and what people were told to say and do.
Source?
...underage prostitutes? There better be a police report about this.
@@austinhuber3131 The way I see this, there is only 1 of 3 possibilities here.
Either you worked extensively behind the scenes on this film in order for you to have this level of knowledge about what was said and done off screen, or second, someone told you this story, and you completely believed it without question, or the third and by far most likely option is you made up the entire story, and you didn't expect to get called out for it.
"There's an old zen story, 2 monks that were walking across the bridge, and the junior monk ask... his teacher, "What is the Buddha nature?", and the older monk picked him up and threw him in the water...
you know?"
- Stevie Senegal
"Accidentally broke Sean Connery's wrist"
Yeaaah.... _accidently_
Oh, that's what he said I understood "Rest"
He was showing him a “special move” though 😊
Mad lads suggestion - the crew of the WWI german Battleship Emden. They were in China when the war broke out, their ship was sunk near Australia and they made it back to Germany using old sailing boats, falseflag traders, got involved in fighting in the Arabic peninsula and finally by rail. Absolutely amazing story.
Fletcher Christian & the Mutiny on the Bounty would be another great MAD LAD.
Hate to say this. But Count Dankula never reads the comments anymore. I can't remember which video he said that in, but I don't blame him.
@@redcell9636After seeing the comments from the video he made right after his divorce I don't blame him
@@makosimp5022
Wait He divorced Sue?
@@redcell9636 I don't think it's known who divorced who, but yes, they have been divorced for a while now.
Juijutsu is the gentle art of folding clothes while people are still in them, Akido is the art of introducing someone to the ground so you can run away
Winter comes every year because Steven Seagal Karate chops the sun, and it takes it 6 months for it to recover.
I’ve been flying helicopters for like 55 years.
-Steven Segal 😆
It's a skippy
He was 45 when he said this.
You can just tell that Dank has been happy for weeks before the shooting of this video came up. That's adorable, LOL
I remember when Steven Seagal was viewed as unironically awesome. From like 1990 to 1993. Good times. He's been coasting ever since. lol
Coasting is a bit of a charitable stretch.
Waddling, bro. He's been waddling ever since.
Probably in part because ‘90-‘93 was still basically the ‘80s.
There are millions of birds names after him,
Mostly because his surname sounds like "Seagull" but still.
I hadn't thought of calling his past 30 years "coasting"... but to be fair, he HAS been going downhill!
The directors of photography on his movies deserve extra pay for the creative ways they always have to hide Seagal's hairline.
How do they even achieve it? Its impossible, his hairline recession is visible from the fucking back its so advanced.
Hard to hide what barely exists at all.
And his waistline.
@@winstonsmith8240Fun Fact: They had to invent IMAX to get him in frame. They made mormal camera lenses as short as they could, and found that a focal length of a negative number wasn't physically possible.
Thanks
America: Here, Russia, you can have our Steven Seagal.
Russia: Ok, we'll trade you our Alexander Nevsky (Kuritsyn).
America: ... this is the same person.
Russia: No, this one's not a weeb, he's obsessed with Schwarzenegger instead.
America: Who's Alexander Novesky?
I thought you were talking about the Prince and Orthodox Saint at first. I didn't know there was a body builder named after him.
That cosplay tho. 😂 I had to do a double take at the thumbnail. You blend into the other Steven’s seamlessly.
Is the punani song In the vid? He was a "singer" too!
@ascott4606 At 31:40. If I didn't look it up, I would've thought Dankula was joking.
What do you get by mixing diddy and Biden. You get Steven Seagal 😂
I'd say Trump with the amount of BS and SA he's involved in
@banquo3873 no Trump is a light weight compared to Biden , let alone combining the 2 .
Back in the 90s I was in a martial arts class with a few friends. So we would look through Black Belt Magazine. There was frequently a full page ad for The Steven Seagal Fan Club. The ad gave a list of things you get with your membership. One was an official membership card.
This lead to the idea of walking around, someone looks like they might start trouble, so you pull out your wallet and say "I'm warning you, I'm a member of The Steven Seagal Fan Club." As you display the card. 😂😂😂
Really?! Lol😂
"....and you can take that to the bank....the bluuud baaaaank." *dramatic music stinger*
Damn, I hope you kept it. You never know when you might need a power tool of intimidation like that. Make anyone foolish enough to try and attack you think twice.
@@snowbunnie1113 we never actually joined, we just laughed at the possibility.
I hear it still works in both Russia and Belarus!
Seaguls personality and ego can be perfectly described by the physical properties of a Prince Rupert's drop. It appears to be Ironclad and indestructible from the front but apply the slightest pressure in the wrong spot and the entire thing shatters into a million pieces
You have exposed him as a medium sized avian creature in a man suit.
Stephen is in fact a Seagull
Really ruined my day learning that one of Jimi Hendrix’s guitars is owned by a guy like this 😭
*Allegedly.
Well, there's always a chance that he's bullshitting about that, like every other goddam thing.
On a Scale from 1 to 10... Steven Is afraid of the Scale
He breaks every scale and he's only getting heavier.
He needs a scale that starts at 300 pounds
The true legend of his own mind.
True legend is such a good movie
You really went and did one on our very best actor / taste tester. Amazin’!!!!!!
I'm not sure how Dank refrained from saying "Bullshido" a single time during this whole video. Seagal is the GRANDMASTER of Bullshido!
"The man walks with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age"
I disagree i think we only see his style of fake confidence these days
Can I laugh in your face?
lol. that line will never die.
Hi ya! Dude the glasses were already killing me then you dropped that in there. Good shit man, I was struggling not to laugh through this whole video so I could hear what you were saying. 😂
A scottish Steven Seagal is something that I neither expected nor thought I needed, but here we are, and I couldn't be more grateful for it.
Segal has been every other ethnicity, why not Scottish lol
@@joeblow229He's been Russian 🇷🇺, Mongolian 🇲🇳, Jewish 🇮🇱, Irish 🇮🇪, Italian 🇮🇹, Korean 🇰🇷
Careful. Dank has been spotted patrolling the streets of Glasgow in his little Seagal outfit.
Stephen McSeagal.
The Mc stands for Micky D's.
@@decorumlopez9147 I wish I'd thought about getting a pair of those glasses and a fake leather jacket, 🧥 could have been Segal for Halloween. Might have been too scary for the kids though.
That mere "Hyaa!!!" at the start showed more emoting than any performance of Seagal's career.
It’s absolutely no surprise to me at all the first clip of his street fight performance at 13:40 has him deflect one or two firsts, then kicks a guy in the ghoolies. Apparently this was his ‘go-to’ when challenging young actors on sets of his films. The story goes young actors challenged him akin to the well known story of Bruce Lee and an actor on the set of Enter The Dragon… so naturally Sensei Seagull must have taken this and adopted his own legend… however instead of a fair fight he would take young extras or whatever, tell them he would teach them better fight choreography etc… and swiftly kick them below. What a truly martial arts legend.
The bakka got me 🤣
That intro physically hurt me
"Sue me, mason" 😢
Perfect delivery lmao
I once had a guy think I knew martial arts because I had a ponytail. His logic was Steven Seagal has a ponytail so that must mean...
Well, I will say that I don't see guys with ponytails and assume they know martial arts, I do assume that they aren't to be trifled with.
Iron clad logic
@brianmcdonald7017 I have to agree. The guy is just being modest.
If I didn't know how basic some people are,.I wouldn't believe it
My wife is a massive Southern Blues fan, and bought tickets for Steven Seagal's blues band (I'm sure as revenge for me taking her to see Metallica) in Market Harborough Football Club in 07! He was f***ing aweful! He came on in an oversized Hawain shirt covering an obvious corset and stood in the middle of the stage like a big, bloated, statue playing really simple Blues riffs and being carried by his backing band. I got bored and stood at the front and shouted "Chuck Norris could kick your arse!" to the hilarity of the rest of the bored patrons around me.
Interestingly we heard later that he had booked Market Harborough as a date on his UK tour thinking it was a massive place instead of the 200 max little sports hall and that he had tried to back out when he found out what he had actually booked but the management company said "Do that and we'll sue the hell out of you! But I have to say BEST. GIG. EVER! not for the quality of his music but for the amount of laughter and mickey taking involved!
You should make an entirely separate series for episodes like this called "Absolute Lolcows".
That'd be funny
With DSP as the opener episode
That would be a 10+ hour video. DSP is the one piece of lulcows. And he's still releasing new episodes weekly.
@cabnbeeschurgr6440 oh God I can already imagine the Incident being narrated by Dank "Then, on May 1, 2016 while getting ready to livestream, Darksydephil got too comfy and started pounding the hog... (face-zoom) with the camera still on"
@@jasonh4604Dank would lose his shit laughing at the Vest Streak 😂
I drank that Seagal energy drink on a dare by a co-worker, that Cherry Charge actually drained my energy. It wound up being a rough night at work.
Should of called it a night, gotten your stomach pumped, and just deal with the consequences of abandoning work lol
wait you actually drank Seagal's pool water?!
You didn't read the fine print. That drink gives _him_ energy, not you 😂
Ah, an anti-energy drink... that could be useful
@@MarvinT0606 ahh lmao 😂
When the video starts and Dank is dressed like Seagall,you know its gonna be extra good 🙏
"nahknee? Semi-mason? Back-ah"
.- Count Dankula the Trap Destroyer - Circa 2024 -.
Ah, Sifu. Not only will he snatch every muthafukkin' birthday, he also walks with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.
You should see him run 😆
He loves the fuck outa cookies.
@@matthewhinkel6079 Runs like an Attack on Titan character.
@@matthewhinkel6079 Oh, I've seen "The Incredible Bulk". Now, the makers of that "film" aren't going to admit this for completely understandable legal reasons, but "The Bulk's" dainty little running style was *directly* lifted from early Sifu movies. They used a rotoscope, I think.
"Well known throughout Hollywood for making up complete bullshit" Well I never.
Fun fact, Judo does have the Suplex. It’s called a Ura Nage.
So, your headcanon tracks and Segal got suplexed.
Nice! Thanks for that info! Seagal is such a douche 😆
Gene LeBelle was a true legend!
@ScorpionP2C imagine if Seagal beefed with Haku or Vader. We wouldn't be watching this video 😂
It also has banned powerbomb like move too
Serious question: is judo useful in streetfights?
One thing Segal did which was selfless was to donate his custom Fleming Firearms full auto HK51w/Suppressor used in one of his movies to Bill Fleming to raffle off to pay for his wife's colon cancer treatment. This was a minimum $50K form 4 transferable machinegun. Now he might have realized he wasn't coming back to America and wouldn't have access to it, but he still could have sold it for a profit instead of donating it. Unfortunately, Bill's wife Katt died from a blood clot not long after the cancer treatment was completed.
Rare Segal W
No way haha! That's brilliant loooool
I just simply dont believe it. He paid people to say this
@@generalmarkmilleyisbenedic8895 I'll have you know, I was the Grand Master Of Latrines and you are false valor on the subject, also the check didn't clear.
Not sure which is more hilarious. Dank's mannerisms imitating Segal or all the thrown in kung fu ques! Brilliant!!
Anybody who leaves Michigan and feels better about moving to California is a true villain origin story.
I guess I don’t get the joke I thought that California was full of interesting people or attracted them anyway regardless of their origin.
@@thunderstruck6647 ... You're right. You really, really don't get it. I assume you're not American?
@@fortheloveofkingI'm guessing you never spent time there. I don't know how it is now but as recently as 12 years ago california was great. The politics were bad, and the Hollywood types sucked, but there was tons to do, you could experience hundreds of cultures in a single city, at the time it wasn't significantly more expensive than my hometown (chicago), the food was world-class, the weather was beautiful, and most of the people were great. The blind hate for california on the right despite all the great things about it is as stupid as the left's hate for the middle of the country.
@@zhuyu9268 no this is just Michigan nationalism. Our state is perfect so clearly anyone who leaves has a few screws loose. I say this with 0% bias as a proud Michigander. Clearly he went wrong the moment he crossed the state line into Ohio. A true cautionary tale...
@@dreadnought4141Ohio is a supernatural entity that threatens us all,
So you can't blame him for being corrupted.
Many tourists return as Urak-Hai.
There will be no better episode of Mad Lad than this one. It's all down hill from here
Hulk Hogan!
@@blitzerblazinoah6838omg yes
@@blitzerblazinoah6838 Another Grandmaster of Bullshido!
26:56 😂😂😂😂 I should know better by now than to drink anything during a Dankula video 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I did google that Reggae song, has to be heard to be believed, and I had to watch that energy drink ad of his a few times, I'm sure they weren't even at the same location, can't believe it exists. This is what RUclips was made for. This was awesome.
Forget the comic that mocked him by having a mutated sea gull that did karate named Steven Seagal.
That sounds really familiar. It wasn't Scud, was it?
@@dimlightbulb10 maybe, I can't for the life of me find the comic. Now it is going to bother me.
This is probably one of my fav episodes you've ever done mate honestly top class patter
He needs to produce and act in a movie where he fights the entire time while sitting in a chair
Brother that is everything after 2009
We're gonna call it "Chairman How"
Erika Eleniak coming out of that cake in Under Siege is still in my spank bank...
If you know, you know
You mean he hasn't done so already?
'First man standing??'
The fact that he got to administer sausage to Kelly le Brock at least three times is unbelievable. That's got to be in the top 10 injustices/defilements of all time.
To be fair Kelly Le Brock is known to be such a foul mouthed wild B****. The Hall and Oates song "Man-eater" was inspired after Daryl Hall meeting aforementioned model/actress in a party.
So what you're saying is that you'd rather see her with someone more likeable?
Administer sausage 😂
I'm stealing that.
Especially in her WEIRD SCIENCE era 😢
I played drums in a pub band that was in one of his "movie/TV shows" lol.. he sat & jammed with us in the "episode/film/" I was terrified, one cuz he's the size of a building. But I also suck at playing his style of music.. I was worried cuz I he sat in a chair within striking distance to me.. !!! Lol
"Blacker than the blackest black times infinity." - Metalocalypse/Seagals hair dye
And his imagination
This is the Mad Lads we've been waiting for
I have been waiting for this for so damn long.
Greatest thing I could've asked as a birthday gift. Turned 28. Steven Seagal's got quite a weird history.
Happy birthday brother
Happy birthday, Scott.
@@localswampmonster9073 Thank you.
@@plutothe9th361 Thank you.
@@plutothe9th361 Thank you.
Steven Seagal’s deadliest weapons are chopsticks and a fork.😂
He’ll kill you with heart disease and diabetes! Hiyayomyomyomyomyom!
"The most interesting man in the world is Steven Segal"
-Steven Segal
"It's about damn time."
-Steven Seagal, probably
The baker walks to Dunkin’ Donuts saying Time to make the doughnuts with Seagal walking behind him saying Time to eat them all!
Steven Seagal is just Hollywood DSP. Change my mind.
snort
Neither of them have done anything wrong. They did everything correct...
DSP is more honorable and respectable.
DOOD I BLOCKED, THIS IS BULLSHIT
we have yet to see Seagal rub one out on camera.
*”THAT. WAS. THE. SAFE. PLACE. TO. PUT. MAH. MUTHA. FUCKIN’. MONEY.”* - Steven Seagal
Here's an example of Steven Seagal's reputation as a Hollywood Bully: During a rehearsal of Executive Decision, Seagal was doing his own version of method acting by playing the supporting character as if he actually was him, by saying this to the cast: "I'm in command, what I say is law. Anybody doesn't agree?"
John Leguizamo, Seagal's co-star at the time, started laughing at him, thinking he was playing a joke on everybody and thought he sounded stupid. But after he laughed, Seagal Punched Leguizamo and shoved him right against a brick wall, knocking the air out of him.
While working on the script, the writers originally wanted to have Seagal's character die from decompression and have his head blow up. Some see it as a nod to how much of a growing ego Seagal has.
Little do people know, but Steven Seagal is actually an alter ego of Count Dante aka "The Deadliest man"
Count Dante?
No, he's a tryhard. Xu Xiaodong is the Count's proper reincarnation because the man can actually fight and shitposts in the heart of CCP-country
The director of THE PATRIOT was legendary Australian cinematographer Dean Semler. He tells the story of going to Seagal's house to meet about the movie, and said his house was full of beautiful Asian women who all called him "Master".
I see no problem with that
Been waiting for this
"In my drink I put parasitic fungi, because I'm a fun guy." - Steven Seagull