"I Can’t Get Over My Ex...Please Help Me Move On!”
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2024
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Stop pedestalizing the person, look at the situation objectively for what it is, follow strict no-contact, and invest heavily in your overall growth. This, too, shall pass.
AMEN
So robotic, whatever happened to having mother natures way and just feeling and healing.
No wonder most of yall are single
@@ItSpooling_yeah , I agree. If you want him, and actually genuinely love him, try working it out. But if it's going nowhere, the best thing is to walk away.
@@shatakshipandey8014 while I do agree, some effort goes a long way.
I do like some of the advice this guys puts out, but I’ve dated a few women who follow him and they just act so robotic, it’s so weird interacting with a woman who’s following rules and acting against her nature.
Either way best of luck to y’all
Yes just maintain no contact at any cost and eventually you will get over and your self growth will boost your confidence.
Its been almost 4 months. I can’t stop thinking about this person on a daily basis, it feels overwhelming, exhausting and repetitive. The gut dropping feeling just won’t go
Ill tell you a hard truth, you will never stop thinking about that person for a while. The thing is it will mean bit less everyday until you realize that you actually remember the situation not the person, and eventually you will stop thinking about that person. However, in the future you still think about that person but you ll be ok.
It's so hard!! I love him and want to be with him but he's ignoring me. He lost his job 7 weeks ago and I think he's really depressed.
@msl2796 I agree. If it is taking this hard for you, maybe you need professional help. There is nothing wrong with that.
@@doglover5519, what do you love about a person who is ignoring you? Emotional and psychological abuse? It's a trauma bond ain't love. Waky waky waky
I completely understand and know that feeling. Been there 2 years ago and I unfortunately still grieve over the breakup. I’m still heartbroken and not over my ex😢
I hate the whole "if you weren't hurt by this person you wouldn't have gone through this excellent growth" - growth can happen in loving supportive relationships. Yes, look at the positive if you've been through crap, but don't attribute the good things to the crap things. We shouldn't have to go through the hurt.
Not as much we learn from getting hurt
@@yommatarin1474 This is false in response to interpersonal relationships and we have data in many spaces showing this. We developed better interpersonally via healthy relationships.
The crap thing about my ex was that he broke up with me and broke my heart. I mostly had no problems in our relationship.
We shouldn't have to go through hurt to learn but if you never were hurt or in a situation where you got hurt would you truly learn?
I think not.
True learning comes from experience not theory.
It's like the difference between getting an education in school and then actually having the job or fantasizing about something like owning a home and then actually owning one.
There is real value to actually experiences.
Hmmm.. that's a very cynical and narrow perspective but I can respect that. I don't think we're attributing good things to crappy things here; You're generalising and that's not the point. But I think they're simply saying good things CAN come from crappy experiences. That's all.
I was addicted to alcohol for many years, which oddly seems very relevant to this conversation. Many times I asked, why me? Why did this happen to me? But now, 9 yrs later, I am so thankful. Those years of being a slave to a substance (somewhat like being a slave to your feelings for an ex) taught me unparalleled empathy for others. I care so much for the well-being of others now, I'm so much less judgemental and so much more accepting and loving. I wouldn't change any of it. I actually really really like who I am, I like that I have a new way to connect with others❤
Loved Audrey's point about the physical & even neurological aspects of love and breakups - that our body has 'recorded' the relationship and it's part of our brain's stimuli-emotion experience. Those first days of knee-jerk 'Oh, I can't wait to tell them..' and then UGH..that sick feeling or even sensation of physical pain.
Thinking back to early days after a breakup, it felt like my brain's wiring & associations with him was like a knotted up wad of Christmas lights in my head. ALL the wires and bulbs are so tightly intertwined and it feels like untangling is impossible. But slowly, slowly....and relief does come. Matthew would say 'growth'.. ;)
Never a comment on unexpected widowhood. Both have zero experience with anyone over 40.
@@ParisianThinker Very same concepts over 40.. Trust me :)
Yes exactly!!
17:30... if we can just connect the dots and see that person not as a"negative trigger" but as the one you can (secretly) thank for "triggering" your growth, it's actually liberating. You are empowered into the higher self-worth you deserve. 💗
It's funny, I watched this to aid in fully letting go of my situationship. But what I needed to hear most was that quote from the boxing coach and that whole story...in addition to the "break up" (can you even call it a break up in a situationship? no matter-), literally every major area of my life has fallen apart dramatically and I feel like I'm trying to climb out of the deepest pit of hell every day. Hearing that quote & story literally made me cry and gave me some hope, so thank you
Right? A tsunami hut along with the break up.
Hey, I hope by now you're feeling a bit better as some time as gone past. Often times it may seem as though everything is going wrong, luck has left you and the universe has done you dirty; but we as humans have a very limited view on what's actually going on behind the scenes. You're a new version of yourself now. The world we experience is a reflection of us. You have changed, so your world must change. Things can no longer remain the same. So although things appear to be falling apart, really what's happening is a reconstruction with an outcome well worth the temporary discomfort of the disassemblement process. Which is usually very painful - the ego likes to hold tight onto things and this harsh grip is what hurts.
@@nessadrake I really needed to hear this. Things have still been rough, and I'm trying to figure out who I even am anymore with all of these changes. It's hard. The only conclusive thing I've really come to is that I want to go to mortuary school to become a funeral director and be of service to families in their grief. Funnily enough, this ex situationship is a mortician. I had thought about pursuing the field for years and when it ended between us, I had to reflect and think "What are some objective qualities about this person that I was attracted to that reflect what I want for myself?" and that is a big conclusion I came to. I'm not sure if I would have arrived at this place and seriously undertake (no pun intended...lol) going to mortuary school and finally acting out this desire I've had for a long time that I now know I'm meant to do.
So that is a big positive I can point to. A new direction for myself and my life, a new sense of purpose- even if it took having my heart broken and my life falling apart. I'm grateful that I finally am committing to that path
I dove deeper into self-development & blossomed as a result of this pain. I have a new standard now to never settle again for less dignity & respect than I deserve. You're right! What's going to come from this is amazing, profound & beautiful. Thank you so much!
Thank you! Please create more content like this 🙏I have an ex (1st love) of 27 yrs and I still have love for him. We are distant friends. At one point he wanted to meet up with me; yet I couldn't bring myself to see him because he wants much more from me. He broke my heart💔 back in 1997 and he says he has been heartbroken ever since. He says he keeps looking for me in other women and he can't find another me 😢 I live 6 hrs away and have ran into him twice for about 5 minutes. He is now a severe drug addict and that breaks my heart 💔 The first time I saw him I was so shocked that I could barely speak. I was so angry at myself that I didnt give him a hug, so when I saw him 18 months later that is the 1st thing I did. I wish I could be his friend, a real friend 😢 but I know he wants more and I don't want to hurt him. I've had a life partner for18 years and I'm not about to hurt him; he's the one I'm in love with. My life partner is aware of this situation, I don't hide anything from him. He was there when I hugged my ex. My ex looks like a walking skeleton😢 Thank you for this topic.
How did he break your heart in 1997? What happened?
Why on earth would you be angry with yourself for leaving someone who was not faithful either to you or even to themselves? You are with someone who has chosen you and stuck by you. Celebrate it! I still pray for my last partner of 15 years ago, but he is CHOOSING to destroy himself in a horribly self-indulgent way with drugs and alcohol and I have no regrets about leaving. I didn't do any of that to him.
Or, he shows up in your dream, and that disturbs your day, and bothers you as to why he was there when you're not doing too bad.
Ugh, exactly what I woke up to this morning. Ex wife was in my dream. Crazy vivid, in color.
years later i’m so sad 🤦🏻♀️😕i’m trying to change the story and let go but something somehow draws me back and i’m so annoyed with myself to the point of hating myself for checking on them
I’m sorry to say that it doesn’t ever feel right to do so, but you’ll have to discipline yourself to stop looking them up. I used to record a star for everyday I didn’t look them up and soon those stars added up and before I knew it it was second nature to forget them and get on with my day. ☮️
@@al5068Thank you for the great idea. Mine is only 10 weeks ago, he’d already moved on when we met in person, he’s now got engaged to the other woman. The worse part is the lies I believed
We all do it girl lol don't blame yourself.
I do love the star idea tho!!
We're all out here trying to adjust and move forward and it takes time
Because that’s Mother Nature. Go for it and give it another try.
We are human, and won’t be here for long. Or you can follow the advice from all the robots in the comments
You're not alone.
I like listening to Matt and some of the things he says make a lot of sense. Still, they make sense mostly for 20-somethings getting over a breakup. How can you block your ex when you need to co-parent? When they have a new family and your kids need to fit in somehow? All the logistics? You cannot block this person for at least 18 years, if you want your kids to have their other parent. You have to be civil with the person who has hurt you the most, for 18 years. There is no forgetting. No moving on. It's in your face every day. Blocking someone on the internet is easy. Blocking them from your life when you need to communicate effectively with them every single day is not.
THIS!!
Yep. This is exactly where I am.
Agree
That is my situation
Block them on all social media channels so you’re not seeing their life/pictures. If need be, tell them you’re doing this so you can heal and move on from them and not to be malicious. Keep communication limited to only phone calls and texts about necessary logistics. After time and when you find someone else, those feelings become a lot less intense as you’re focused on your life and growth. You’ve got it!
OMGSH thank you! Audrey, it soothed my soul and made me exhale all blame when you explained the untangling of neuro pathways and how that's a process and a beautiful sign of our ability to bond. And Matthew, thanks for saying healing is not one and done or a binary...helps me release guilt and annoyance with myself when I have moments of missing him and our past life. What an awesome idea to change the name. I paused the video and changed it to a (maybe ridiculously long-winded) 'You deserve someone who wants you strongly, clearly, warmly, daily, forever. This person is no longer a romantic option.' 😂 My brain knows that, but you're right, my brain also still gets warm fuzzies at the shape of the letters of his name. I WILL integrate, I WILL move on. I've done it before and I can again 💪 But thanks for reminding me to be gentle. I might have slowed my own detachment process bc I saw my ex as friend in our friend group for over a year, regularly. A few months ago he asked to take space and have no contact for at least 6 months. I was grief stricken at first (bc it meant losing some interactions with the group and losing an activity with them I did regularly), but I'm adjusting and finding new ways to see our mutual friends, and realizing he's prob right and this will be good for me too. But darn it my brain goes haywire when someone disappears - it feels like a second rejection and I've re-set the clock a little on healing. I'm struggling bc I love his family too (lived with them) and it's hard to, say, not be invited to their Fourth of July party today. We didn't end angrily, he just didn't love me enough to move towards engagement, and it's a loss I'm working through. But this will be better and I will get there ❤ And as much as it hurts, grieving a life I lived with him, his family, and his friends, it means I'm capable of bonding and can do it again. (And just so no one feels too badly for me lol, I do have my own friend group and am seeing them today. 🎆) Love to all you brave strong people out there in this world trying to find your forever partners, and who need to start over (I'm almost 36) ❤ We will be okay and we will tell a story of our resilience decades hence
I can relate to your story, I’m going through the same thing right now. My ex no longer wants to be friends even though we have been since our break up 4 years ago yet we were together for 18 years…
It is heartbreaking 💔
If you want to learn more about rewiring the neural pathways in the brain within the grieving process (what Audrey was speaking about), listen to the episode of Andrew Huberman here on RUclips about grief.
Clementine story was precious Audrey is sweet and so on point
I love the back and forth with both of your personalities. Audrey is such a great addition, she always makes me laugh.
Love all of Audrey’s points in this episode. Really needed to hear they. I think we all need to remember to not be so harsh on ourselves when trying to get over our exes. Thank you so much for making an episode on this topic.
I'm having a hard time finding the positive in the pain.
I'm not sure anything amazing can come out of this for me.
Those words are comforting, but I don't feel realistic for me at this phase so early in the break up.
I think this is for when you are further down the road, that's all. Of course when you have just got out of what turned out to be a horribly painful episode of your life, no way you are going to say "Wow! I've learned so much from that. Isn't that great!"
@@amandayorke481 Spot on. Right now, Susan, you are in survival mode, so for the next few weeks or months (however long it takes, dont set a timeline expectation for yourself), you just need to focus on allowing yourself to grieve, while also being kind to yourself, taking care of yourself. The growth comes later, but you have to choose it. Im sorry for your pain, I also once said to my friends that I dont know how Im going to get through this, but I can now promise you, it does get easier, and I am grateful for the growth I have chosen to pursue (Not thankful for the pain! But we dont have control of that).
@stephen12holbrook, I like what you wrote - " Don't set a timeline expectation for yourself ". I am going to do just that , let the pain and hurt come and go and eventually hope that it will finally go away .
I am trying to get back the kind , lively , funny , positive and adventurous spirit I used to be.
Thats what I feel as well. I lost health because of bad psychosomatics, lack of sleep and clinical deppresion. During breakup I was so overwhelmed by the negative from the other person that I crashed my car and caused a serious accident. I dont see anything good even after years from the breakup.
Im kind of listening to the podcast but Im mostly watching and admiring the beautiful connection between you two. Absolutely gorgeous 🥰
I find your tips work with friends too, they can also leave you after years of being a friend.
A month since I cut it off with my ex from 4 years ago. So proud of myself for finally doing so, and so disappointed at myself for letting it go on for so long and let it rob me of my peace of mind.
Im so here for Matthew & Audrey doing this format together!!
Absolutely sabotaged by a clementine. Brutal....
Thank you guys, as i am actually going into a separation from a long period relationship and watching you guys is being like therapy and it is helping me look the process on a different perspective...you are contributing so much during this grieving journey of mine. Thank you so much...
It is a reference point! Wow! Simple yet clear. Thanks for freeing me.
At this moment, I personally don't think/believe anything will help me and if things will get better honestly. I'm so tired of everything. Waking up, the first thing I experience is so much pain in my heart and brokenness feeling I can't even explain.
same here, sending you virtual hugs.. 🥺
I want to say that I was in that space the past few months. Crying myself to sleep, waking up with terrible anxiety, just barely making it through the day with my sanity and rinse / repeat. It gets lighter. Try to focus your energy on something positive. I started running & going to the gym. I’m still deeply sad but at least be doing something good for yourself and putting good energy into yourself. I know it’s so bleak and feels helpless but keep the faith.
same with me. Mornings and nights are the worst. Doing my best to move on but so hard indeed.
@@nicholaspetre1 just those silent moments where you’re completely alone with your thoughts can feel very sad and isolating. I hope for things to get better for you!
אני מיואש. הלב שלי שבור. אני לא מדבר ומבין אנגלית כל כך אבל מהקצת שמצליח בכל זאת להבין מתנחם... זה עוזר ומחזק לדעת שהרבה אנשים מרגישים את אותו כאב שאתה נמצא בו
Nice video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...
It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her.?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.
I changed his name to “Cad” and then “Scoundrel”. He fancied himself a Mr Darcy, I consider him a Mr Wickham, so this was apt.
2 years later and I still have not moved on. It feels awful that he moved on so quickly and got into a relationship right after he dumped me. I’m so heartbroken!
Say to yourself: "It sucks that I ever met somebody like that but thankfully the experience is over." Remove exposure to the person. Focus on other interests and let time fade your feelings and thoughts of them. Remind yourself of who you were before you ever even met them and choose a better path this time around. A quality life experience over a crap one.
Great advice ❤
❤
I have a question - Is there anyone who did say "no" to their ex who came back, but actually REGRETs for it later in their life, and still wondering the "what if", and is missing them, and secretly want to contact them again, but ego is in the way, and don't know what to do now? Just curious, anyone? Or do I have a special case?? :(
I had no regrets, but subconsciously I was waiting for him to mature (read: change). He never did, I married someone else, he married someone else, had children, and in 2022 I just broke off all contact. I realised that I was unconsciously waiting and that I was actually holding on to my fantasy of the relationship I wanted with him. Not the real relationship we had or the real him as I had known him. No, I did not want that relationship or him as he was, but I did want MY fantasy relationship and the mature version of him that I was holding on to. And I also realised that he was doing the same. Life is not a fantasy. It is what happens between the time you wake up and the time you go to bed.
I did but after the regrets of saying “no”, I sat with myself and made a list of all my reasons for saying “no”. ( like the disrespect, broken promises, me putting my life on hold etc…) This was an eye opener. Then I made a list of all the things I achieved. They are not necessarily big achievements but taking care of myself, reading on personal development, learning new things like putting boundaries and respecting them, having me time , all of these made me realise that I should have no regrets. And now, I don’t 😊
That usually wouldn’t work anyway. Unless the both of you completely changed as people. And there was a reason u said no, maybe because deep down inside you knew this person wasn’t good for u. Sorry 😞
Yes it happens dont let ego ruin something beautiful some relationships can be worked through
It can go both ways but the only way for it to work again is to both have grown and want to work out the things that caused the breakup initially…which rarely happens…because of ego, ignorance, narcissism, lack of awareness, to name a few. Anything is possible in this world. How bad do you want it?
im also struggling with the idea that i will grow from this pain. i will. but i could have also grown in the relationship, with love and support and care. we both were growing and i can continue to grow. i 100% feel what Audrey said when she said "I could have held on to this person had I not been such a piece of fucking shit". I keep feeling that way. Making a list of all that went wrong on both sides helps. I just wish I could prove to him how much I can and have changed just in the past two days..... dear god please.
"..and Audrey Hussey". How cute! Congratulations!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is chamani White, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Throw your energy into something very positive that will be of a POSITIVE IMPACT/ GOAL yourself.
To improve things for yourself.
Years ago I said to myself I'll not let them waste my time with lingering on thoughts of them.
I started studies on my favorite subjects and threw myself into it.
Now I have an extra qualifications that opened fantastic new doors & career opportunities for me.
I remember studying through tears, battling to get my assignments in on time despite all their opposition.
Now I can rejoice because I've tasted so much success and surpassed all their and my own expectations !
Build up yourself !
Even if you just go get a nice new hairstyle for YOURSELF !
Celebrate your own talents !
Get CREATIVE.
SIGNS UP for a course.
You'll meet new & nicer people to allow in your life.
Enjoy !
I’d ask the universe to cut the energetic cord between you both and to prevent it from reattaching. Done. No more ex! xx
My ex just text me on my phone and facebook account when i thought i was finally healed. The emotions, thoughts, rumination that came straight away was a surprise for me coz he hurt me a lot and i thought i was over. I even started to make stories in my mind and couldn t stop thinking about him. I was so low but then i found this video and the one of the 7 signs of narcissist. My ex had all the signs and straight away i felt relieved, went back on my feet and happy i put a stop to him. Thank you so much for your help. Hanna from France!
Love listening to both of you amazing lovely people. Audrey is fantastic. Thank you both for everything you do. You truly make a difference. Lots of love from Sweden❤
I feel like it would have been easier to move on in my situation if there had been cheating. But it was just a prolonged and sad situation, with both us needing to heal or deal with the past. Me dealing with being such a late bloomer and needing to prove something to myself around confidence with women (too much time dwelling on grass is greener thoughts and missed dating opportunities instead of being fully present). And her dealing with an abusive past, which led to extreme behaviour (shut down or hysterical reactions etc).
We took too long to let each other go. Was dealing with things ok for several years, but running into her randomly a few times triggered some sort of PTSD in me. I was also irrationally jealous she was with someone else. She eventually broke up with the guy, and one day messaged wanting no strings attached sex. Part of me wanted to, but knew it would be harmful to both of us, so said no. We live in the same city, so every blue moon we cross paths and I get triggered again (am now 52). I don't know whether to move cities or just grow up about it all, and she's in my thoughts almost daily. When you've been so close to someone, I don't know how you can just block it out, even after years have passed.
Thank you. Love the advice - 'Dont follow the thought'. 😊
Love the clementine story!
I just tried to change their name in my phone to “you deserve better” and accidentally hit their number and it started to call them. 😳 Now I can’t say sorry I didn’t mean to call you I was just changing your name in my phone 😂. He caused me so much pain but now I’m finally feeling better because it’s true what Matthew says, you can turn a negative experience into a positive. I almost want to thank him for the breakup because I wouldn’t have learned so much about myself and my attachment wounds if this heartbreak and pain didn’t happen to me.
Hahahahahaha bloody little clementine 😂 I remember when my cat made a call on Instagram profile of a person that used to be a friend of mine but we lost connection, and she answered! That was so awkward, insane, and embarrassing at the same time. I actually tried to explain that my cat called her and it was ridiculous when I heard myself what I said!! 😅
But, Matthew, some of us are unable to develop and grow and build success into our lives. Some of us continue to struggle, despite therapy, and wish we could return to the loving state we shared with this person, who still reaches out from time to time, sprinkling hope with shallow promises, but no real intention or follow-up. It has happened three times after the original break-up; the third time, though, I could clearly see he is using me, and thought, how is this ok? To borrow a phrase from you, Matthew, the behavior “is not interesting to me”, and dims my desire to pine for reconciliation when he clearly doesn’t wish it, because what he says doesn’t match his actions. I’m trying (again) to go back to school to better my life, but struggling to find my path, and there remains the faintest glimmer in one of his statements: that if we are both single in ten years, we could be together. But, what about all the time in between? What about all the loving we’ll miss? And, do I really want to be someone’s absolute last choice? No.
So interesting how close this is to my story. Ex wife can’t seem to let go of me even 2 yrs later. And I’m not as strong as I should be.
We get micro-dosed by them “sprinkling hope” you called it.
“Who knows where we’ll be in a few years” she even said and “never say never”
Ugh…..
I know I need to move on, move forward.
I’m meeting some quality women in public. Most recently a nurse who seems lovely. How will you know you’re ready unless you test the water? Jay Shetty reference there. And to Matthew’s point in other video. We don’t have to be completely healed, just healed enough. I’m not waiting around for someone who doesn’t seem to want me any longer.
@@akrico1Thank you for sharing your experience. I would like to train my brain for peace and purpose. I wish you peace and joy on your journey. Take care.
We’re so lucky for Matthew sharing this content. And Martin Snow is the coach we all want in our lives 🥹
I changed it’s name to Gaslighter
Mine is Breadcrumbs
“(His initials) the Monkeybrancher”
going to buy a clementine just to verify if its segment is actually going to “like” a post by dropping it on my phones screen🏃🏼♀️💕
1. Do not tell yourself a hypothetical story of how you can’t get out of your ex
2. When trigger happens turn it into a positive by connecting with good things happened bcz of that break up
3. Don’t follow to thought by stoping to go with flow of your mind
SUCH strong words from Martin! Very good video, thank you very much! ❤
Don't worry you got this ❤
What was her name
@@EmpressCatherine88 can't mention here 🤓
Thank you both i love watching listen and take note of your lovely amazing conversations that changes so many lives out there. 🌹🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️
Just see no point in not blocking a ex. We shouldnt allow the triggers at all. They are a ex for a reason. Only exception to not blocking is if you share children.
I have mine blocked right now.
I understand where Matthew is coming from with the whole “this was a catalyst for your growth”, but what if it’s been years later and you haven’t had growth from it, what if you’re still suffering and in pain from it and you’re in the same place emotionally and mentally you were when they broke up with you?
Broke up with my ex of 20years last March..he got a child with another woman he met less than a year ago!! I am hurt but it gets better. I sent him packing. A few days ago he knocked on my door and I looked at him with no emotions through the glass....I didn't feel any emotions...my daughter started crying but it is what it is...I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT HE WANTED!!!! I wish I could read his mind...the super NARC!!
So what do you want now u broke up
I have another trigger not related to an ex reaching back. What if you seem to be over an ex in your daily roundabouts but you keep dreaming about the ex almost every week. What is the subconsciousness trying to tell me? That I'm lying to myself for saying that I got over the ex? Do I still want them back in my life in any shape or form? I don't know man, I mean, sure, the memories we had were great but the reality is, I don't want them back. But every week, those dreams keep reminding me how great that ex was because most of the time, those dreams are very sweet. I know some wounds will always leave a scar behind but those dreams are somewhat bothering me. What to do about it?
Firstly I have to say that I absolutely appreciate your content immensely. I was just wondering if the advice that you give applicable to both male and females. The reason I ask is that I’ve seen lots of your work with women online so I was just wondering.
Watching to your videos is really been helping me deal with a very painful break up that I’ve just had.
Thank you so much for your channel and its content.
Love this. I use IGNORE for the contact change.
What I did in my situationship....it wasn't even a relationship, is think about what is it about this person that I loved soo much.
I wrote down characteristics like being confifent to go for what they want or funny.
Then I started asking myself if anu of those characteristics I was not giving to myself.
I apparanytly was not letting myself live a life that was phenominal for my inner child .
Also, it is okay to let yourself feel out all the ways you loved them and then all the pain of thr relationship you never got. Suppressing emotion stops you from truelly healing.
Pick something you always wanted to do that you can make steps to and do it to start your new life.
What if you can't see any growth/good past, present or future.to come from the situation? What is 'growth' anyway? What if nothing comes into your life to take that place, nothing 'amazing' happens?
Exactly ......it is hardly like for me as well that i will ever get better than i experienced! All i can hope is i can forget how wonderful it was
Great subject and great timing for me, as I am navigating through the ending of a relationship.
think of "i did/do like him, but ...", makes it more acceptable feeling & easier to pass the thought off
Excellent video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?
His name is Owen Abiola, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.
You guys are Brilliant Thank you 😊
Absolutely excellent video. I needed this so much. Thank you! ❤
That was exactly what I needed to hear right now !
I really needed this. Thank you ❤
I have experienced massive transformation after my last breakup and I know that this would not have happend without the pain and suffering I had experienced in the relationship. So the next question is how gratefuI should feel towards my (avoidant) ex? I am grateful of the experience but it seems inadequate to me feeling grateful towards him having treated me badly. Where is the line between the person and the experience? This is truly a question that I am asking myself.
just rewatched the Wim Hof adventure you had with the lads ~ someone that “sounds intelligent” ~
This has come up in my feed now.
🇦🇺☀️🏄♂️💦🙏🏼🧘♂️🎶🥶🌟
I used to change the name to Nope, but at this point I’m more likely to simply block and delete contact info/ social media.
I don’t mind some hard earned growth, but nobody is popping back up to disturb my peace.
I really need some help talking about addiction in relationships. I recently found someone I was pretty compatible with and he had a loss in the family and relapsed. He’s in rehab now but it’s been more time in recovery than in the relationship. How do I know when to move on or what to do as far as boundaries with drug use in a relationship minor or major? I know that most relationships go through this at one point or another and most people please and thank you for your help. You guys are amazing to watch. You’ve changed my life. You help me find the love of my life and now I don’t know what to do if I should let go
See, my situation was a little different. We had been dating for 3 months, and I told her I needed to work on myself. (I genuinely did, and still am.) I then realized, that she never really cared about me after all. Which really really sucks because I truly “loved” her. Whenever I told her I was leaving, I starting bawling because I didn’t want to. But, I was in such a bad mental place and it was honestly do or die. That’s how bad it got. So, now it just feels like I lost apart of me and she didn’t even care.
Super! Thank you so much to both of you 🙏🏽
Thanks Audrey and Matthew🦋
Best story ever (clementine), Audrey!
The clementine story cracked me up in the midst of crying 😂
You need to make a choice. You either continue to let yourself be hurt by this person constantly or you find someone else.
Find yourself
Mine would be narcissistic, but I have to still work for him so I’ll have to leave his name as is
I have to work with mine. Not looking forward to that.
17:30 reminder to all great things about personal progress made in self developmemt; no elimination of trigger but thought redesign
29:26 scroll past instead of ruminating
For me it has now been almost 40 years and I still have a problem with it the pain and sadness keep coming back why does this keep haunting me is it possible that I still don't know what the reason is that she left me? my doctor talks about heartbreak but it may be that after 40 years I still have feelings for her 40 years have passed and I haven't even seen it it ended in 1985 and in 2012 I woke up since then I left from an introvert to an extrovert and the pain and sadness just won't let me go, it just keeps haunting me
As asocial person I have a lot of problems to find a partner. I might even be on spectrum, not sure. So when I finally found the person I could talk to for hours and hours and have great conversations and connection which is super rare for me, I couldn't let go. He wasn't ready for relationship, never will be, but I just kept on pursuing. Finally, after almomst 15 years of my lost youth and possibilities in life, he literally ghosted me and I still suffer. I do try with other people but it's hard when I see that he can be close to others but not to me. I am living the best life I can alone, I take care of stray cats, I have hobbies, job, I date sometimes, but there are times when something reminds me of him and it's still not easy.
Taking care of stray cats is awesome, you sound like a great person, not unlikely you will find someone else like that. good luck!
@@perlovgren919 i love my kitties! I am just sad I don't have enough money to help them more than I can. I don't meet men feeding kitties butI don't care. If it happens happens. If not it's not that bad being single.
🩵🩵🩵 There needs to be a 4th one.
Our relationship with our higher power (God, in my case).
Needed one❤
Hit home when you said that maybe it's been 3 years since your breakup... it has been, and was just triggered again yesterday and been wondering about it. Will start a list of all the + things that have come out of the 💔 including my soon to be fiancé.
Why would you even keep their phone number? It's done. Delete the number and move on. If you still have their number then you're still hoping to get back together. It doesn't help you move on.
I am reading the comments below I don’t get how people can get over someone been together for 10 years my bf and I have been together after he asked me to marry him on and off and then ghosts me and then idk why he ups and down like that wtf I don’t understand after everything we been through
Almost 3 years out from the breakup and I still get sad sometimes but I guess it’s part of the process
It’s been almost a year and I have thought about him at least once every day.
I am in a relationship and I still get triggered by my ex when I see a group photo with him inside or IG keeps recommending me to follow him. I did follow him before IG, but he removed me! Anyways it's not like I still want to be with him because I have moved on with someone else. But it was just someone who meant something to me at the time because what we had was good I thought.
Absolutely nothing good is coming from my pain.
is your subsequent behaviour to your advantage or disadvantage upon the "trigger" is what matters.
Not how you feel about it.
So, so, so true precious Audrey and Matthew.
WHY DON'T WE JUST BLOCK THEM ALL OVER AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THEM POPPING UP ON OUR PHONE?
Ok, even if he's with someone else, I would like to remind myself why he's awful for me.
Addict, alcoholic, shuts down, gaslights, broke, bad driver, financially irresponsible, cringey, unattractive, stinks, rotting teeth, his family and mine tell me I deserve better. Ok. It helps to write and say it out loud.
I just LOVE Audrey! 💖
I am having difficulty signing up for your retreat. The confirm button is not working. Any help with this would be great. Thank you.
Hey there 🧡 Please email our support team at support@matthewhussey.com and they'll have our Retreats team contact you directly! -Bianca, MH team
When people say "just let go" how exactly do you do that?
Impossible after 32 years
You two need someone to push back on some concepts such as 'bad things always have silver linings' and are for the lesson they provide. Domestic Violence is NOT for the good of tge one being beat. Car accidents that leave a person paralysed are not 'good learning curves'. A child dying from cancer didn't teach mum n dad how to love.
When nasty things happen in our lives, we want to find a reason. We want to discover some silver lining. This is a very human urge. The point is to settle the psche and find acceptance that allows us to move into a beautiful experience.
why do you still have your ex phone number ?
This is going to be good
Out of sight, out of mind.😂