Why At 85 I Rethought My Life With My Children | Sandra Hart
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- Опубликовано: 11 май 2024
- What at the age of 85 did I rethink my life with my children? Rethinking our lives and reevaluating our relationships with our children become stronger on this Mother’s Day.
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Here is the link to my poem -To My Children I read in the opening. sandrahart.gumroad.com/l/poemtomychildren
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Thank you Sandra. 😊
My mother died from kidney failure when I was 17. What I miss most is being able to be friends with my mother. She left me 54 years ago with a lifetime of good advice and Christian training that has helped me my whole life. Still, there's something 'unfinished' when you lose your mother before she's done raising you to adulthood. Still sad - still missing her.
She still watches over you I’m sure.
My mother passed away 62yrs.ago from kidney failure in the month of my birthday in April with mother's day coming a few weeks later. April and mother's day have always been painful for me up to this very time. I dread to see it coming. I wish I could get over it but not yet because I miss her still. 🌹
My mother died of cancer when I was 26. I'm sorry you lost your mother so young. I read a good book entitled, Motherless Daughters, by Hope Edelman. I think she lost her mother around the same age as you.🥀
I am so sorry to hear that. Mothers are such an important part to most daughters lives. I am sure it is an emptiness that never goes away. Thank you for sharing that with all of us, who also may have lost their mothers early in life.
I understand. I lost my mother at 14.
No baby is born with an instruction manual. I love my children, I made mistakes, did some things right, somethings I would like to change. When I was wrong, I asked forgiveness and they freely gave it. They are so good to me now. Parents make mistakes, children make mistakes, forgiveness is a wonderful gift. Agree, be kind to others, and do something nice for another, this takes away so much pain. Happy Mother's Day Sandra.
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Beautifully said ! Happy Mother’s Day 💐 God Bless You 😇
Janice, I enjoyed your reply. Thank you ever so much and it was so true.
Aw Sandra, thank you for also acknowledging women who don’t have children 🥰 I’ve always been on the fence about having them as I adore peace and quiet each day, and at age 35 I’ve still not met the ‘right’ man so it looks unlikely I’ll be having them… but it comforts me to know I can use my maternal instinct in other ways, with animals, friends and other people’s children etc. Thank you so much for your lovely reflections, and what a beautiful poem. God bless 🌷
My son is 40 now but in my Lamaze class, a couple was having their first at age 42. So you never know what's around the bend. Of course, it's a personal decision.
What a fabulous reply. So warm and compassionate! We need more ppl like you in this insane world! You are a breath of fresh air!! ❤️💕
Happy Mother’s Day to all who offer their Love and energy to lift up others and Mother Earth. Thank you.
Absolutely yes
Sandra, that poem you wrote to your children was so beautiful! What a thoughtful and talented person you are. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you! You too!
Mom had two sons with Muscular Dystrophy. She was excellent to them. She gave them every opportunity.
They are all dead now. My sister as well as my father, too.
My daughter lives in New Orleans, my grandchild is not as far away.
I miss everyone!
But I have my good memories.
God bless your mother. I’ve always wondered at the strength of mothers who have disabled children. The love and sacrifice goes beyond a mother’s love. These mothers truly deserve of angels. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us today.
🙏
Live for today and be the best you can be. Our children did not come witb an Instruction book but one Pamper and a $1.00 coupon for SMA formula. We did the best we knew to nurture the wonderful tiny beings. Happy Mother’s Day!
🤷♀️🙋♀️☕️❤️🙏🇺🇸
Truly!!
I have had two wonderful sons.My sweet youunger son bled to death during a hurricane.Tuesday would be his birthday.I miss him so much I have my older son who is so terrific.I thank God every day for him.. happy mothers day and please tell your children you love them!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you will be reunited again one day ❤
I am so sorry to hear about your son and his sad passing! God has blessed you with another wonderful son and for that I know you are grateful. Blessings your way.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the pain you’re experiencing. 😢
I'm truly sorry for your loss
Oh my gosh, Linda, I'm praying for you.
Sandra you are the sweetest! I chose not to have children, but I always thought i would adopt. That did not work out, but now I have a chance to move back to my home state which is Florida! I've had my adventures, and my self centered life. Now at 63 I definitely want to be near family again. There is always a need for volunteering and once settled, I want to mentor teens. Physicality may fade, but my giving heart still beats young!××
When I was in New Jersey, I worked with the high school there and I mentor young teen girls. It was one of the most fulfilling things that I could ever think of doing. I think it’s a great idea and I hope you follow through with it.
I am a mother by adoption. Our son is now 45. We have two young grandchildren, and they are the loves of my life. We live 30 minutes from them, but have been in their lives since birth, and did all their childcare. We take them overnight whenever we can; I take them to religious school once a week; we do FaceTime on Friday to catch up at the end of the school week. They have completed my life in ways I never could have imagined.
I don't have children on my own as I didn't want, but I respect every woman who raises a child, it's a tough job and of course joy. I'm so grateful for my mother, she is the best and wonderful, although her life wasn't easy and I wasn't always the perfect daughter. Thank you Sandra, I'm sure you are not only a wonderful and wise woman, but also a wonderful mother as my mum ❤
What a wonderful and very kind thing to say. Thanks so much.
Sandra! Those words ignorance and innocence explain it all for most of us. You are a great poet and your voice truly compliments.
We have been empty nesters for about 7 years now - I’m still not ok with it. I miss my daughter terribly!! She lives over 1200 miles from me. I always imagined that we would be hanging out together as adults shopping, dining, getting our nails done & more. I am extremely proud of her & all that she has done, but man I sure miss her. I try not to text her or even call her. I know she is building life of her own & the last thing I want to do is push her away by being too nosy or by trying to be involved in her life. It’s hard on this Mama!!
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, mothers-in-law, fur baby mothers, step moms, grandmothers and those who care for others - we celebrate you and each other! And as I've read, none of us are perfect, we've all made (motherly) mistakes - wow! doesn't that just make us human?
Well said!
Happy Mother’s Day Sandra! I do not want to live with my children either, I like my own space and I respect the fact that they have their own lives and I want them to live it. I think it is selfish to have expectations of your children to give up their lives. I am wishing you a wonderful day filled with love! Love, Sheila
Shelia, I am so happy you agree. Their independence and our independence are both important. It is the love that we share that’s the most cherished!
Happy Mother’s Day Sandra!🌷I am now 76. I was adopted at age 2 months. Raised by fantastic and loving parents. I have 3 children and 5 grands.
I have 3 children and 5 grands as well. Happy Mother's Day
So beautiful Sandra. Life has a way of getting us terribly sidetracked. Nothing goes as we plan. But God knows why we go through trials with our children and it’s all part of His perfect plan for our lives. Our children are Gods gift to us.
Truly is true!!!
Beautiful! Happy Mother’s Day! I too travelled with my children! Distances varied & were enjoyable- no one has a perfect life. Very lovely poem. 💕🙏🙏👍❤️
Thank you. This came directly from my heart.
Hi, Sandra. Thank you for your video. Have a good week and Happy Mother's day. ❤
Happy Mother’s Day
What a beautiful poem...Happy Mother's Day!
Thank you! You too!
Happy Mothers Day! I am like you Sandra, I am a loner. I love my children and grandchildren more than anything and love to spend time with them but I'm fine doing my own thing.
Happy Mother's Day!🌻 My furbabies have always been my children. My grandmother once told my late mother that she did the best she could with what she knew. Blessings to everyone!
Truer words could not be spoken
I predict your poem will go viral. It is lovely. I hope everyone who uses it gives you credit for it.
Just lovely.
Thank you so much.
Happy Mother's Day To All Beautiful Mother's 🙏💐
Yes. Love right back to all.
Happy Mother’s Day Sandra. Thanks for the gift of your time and for sharing your heart today 💐
You are so welcome. Thank you for being here.
Happy Mother's Day Sandra!💖🌹That's a BEAUTIFUL Poem!🙏💖💖💖💖
Thanks so much. Life’s journey is not always how we think it’s going to be when we start out.
I had a tumultuous childhood but it was a childhood of growth and knowledge and there were a lot of people who 'mothered' me for good and bad. I don't hold any of the bad against anyone because I really believe that there are lessons we needed to learn and this was our journey. My own children didn't have an 'easy' childhood but it certainly was an opportunity for character development. My children know absolutely that I love them as nobody else could... a mother's unconditional love. I also mourned when the empty nest occurred but I am also happy just being with myself. Both of my children are independent, wonderful adults and my grandchildren are also wonderful. Happy Mother's Day!
you sound wise and authentic, like a lovely person.
I I will also say, for the first 11 years of my life, I was living with my grandparents but got a lot of mothering from the ladies at the church I attended. Additionally, I watched the Gene London Show, Captain Kangaroo, Sally Starr and Romper Room. I was a sponge, absorbing the morals that were shared on those shows and the lessons being taught. I remember you from Romper Room and please know that you were a very positive, motherly role model for me then. So glad I found your channel on You Tube and can still absorb your wisdom!
You did a great job.
Thank you so much for sharing that with us today. It’s so good to hear when children have taken their experiences and walked away with all the positives of character growth that it can bring. Instead of focusing on the negative they have made positives out of their lives.
I am writing a lerrr to my son exactly the
same to my son to be opened when I die andexplaing that when I had a breakdown I couldn’t
look after him butt then I became a good mother and he is doing great. He is 35 and coming to
Seattle for a few days forc work and I let him find his way
Your beautiful poem reduced me to tears.beautiful. true.❤
Thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Love that poem. We all have rocky roads with our children.
Truly
Happy mother's day. Beautiful poem
Thank you so much.
I worked so hard to not repeat my childhood's bad moments, but still, now I am 50 yo and my oldest daughter doesn't talk to me. I am grieving it now and almost accepted the reality. I regret that I spent so much time and effort for her, and gave her everything. I was unstoppably crying the whole video.
You’re not alone.😔
No.There are many of us.There are online support groups and newsletters.
You are not the only one! I’m wondering if our children really know the sacrifices we made and how much we genuinely tried our best and truly love them in spite of everything
@@lifewithsandrahart
I truly believe that they don't realize the tears,fears and sacrifices. They only dwell on the mistakes they believe we made.
Courage , you are not alone. I , like many other mothers, made so many sacrifices to raise my children . Now they are old , but don't even bother to phone , to ask if I am OK , if I need some help, after I had surgery . And we live in the same town.. It makes me so sad to see them so thoughtless . I keep quiet , and keep forgiving them ... I tried my best to teach them to be kind , but no use.... As I said, I keep forgiving them and trust in God to help me . I know HE WILL ....
Sandra, thank you for being real. No lives are perfect, and we all make mistakes. My daughters and I celebrated yesterday, and it was lovely, and then they went back to their lives. I felt so alone when they left, but your poem really centered me. I raised them to fly, and they are doing it well. Our lives touch occasionally but there is so much love. I want to focus on that. So thank you again for reminding me that their job is not to stay with me but to become who each is and make the world a better place. Happy Mothers' Day, Sandra. Deb
Thank you for sharing your beautiful day with ua, Debra!
Happy Mother's Day Sandra🌷✨🤩
Thank you for your beautiful soul❤️
You are so so so very kind to say that. Thank you.
Sandra, in these times a lot of people don’t have a lot of choice as to whether they can really be independent. The homeless problem is very real, many people deal with unstable work situations where they can easily lose their jobs. Many seniors, if they want to live independently, run the risk of falling down and getting severe injuries or even dying with no one around to realize what happened and try to help them.
I agree. Unfortunately, things seem to have gotten worse for everyone. Especially those who are struggling in their lives.
Most parents do the best they can, loving them is the most important aspect one can give. Many mothers are either "hovercrafts" or "Islands" never fully knowing if they are doing the right thing. Just be kind to each other for it makes life so much easier.
That is so true. Well said.
There is no such thing as a 'perfect life' but we do what we can with what we have been given. So glad you had a wonderful family - including your pets Sandra. ♥ Elle
So true, Elle! I was so fortunate to have loving parents and strong, caring children who rode the waves with me. You are right. We do the best with what we have been given. Thanks for coming by today. 💕
Happy mother's day Sandra , to all the mother's on this channel and to those with caring compassionate love for children, blessings to you all❤
Thank you so much
Happy, Blessed Mother’s Day to you, Sandra, and to all sister women! I grew up in my parents’s domestic abuse and violence. Still I was able to give nurturing to my little sister. She called me her “little Mommie”. My life has been about finding healing and recovery- and blossoming like a Lotus Flower. Yes, the maternal nurturing and deeply caring feelings still come through at age 81. I’m so grateful! ❤😊
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Have a beautiful day.
Thank you Sandra. You made me cry when you read that poem and then talked about your mothering. My two older adult children seem to take turns between speaking to me and turning their backs on me. Right now one of them is grateful for what given her as a mother and wants to be my friend, while the other one who I used to be extremely close to, currently wants nothing to do with me. I know that my youth and ignorance cause them to be raised in a household dominated by a narcissistic man, that I met in high school and married too young. I always loved my children and never intentionally hurt them. They always came first, I just didn’t know the best thing for all of us would have been to leave when they were babies.
We all make what we think are the best choices at the time. Our children just have to realize that we are human and our love for them is unending. Hopefully they will realize that eventually.
My mother died on my 57th birthday last year. I'm so glad i had the years with her to get to know her, how much of a beautiful person she was. I miss her tremendously. I know i was very fortunate to have her for so long but still, I'll always miss her.
Sandra is such a radiant voice! So generous to share this complex and richly lived wisdom!
Thank you so much
Happy Mother's Day! Wishing all moms a very blessed and wonderful day! 💐
Thank you! You too!
Love your message ❤ Happy Mothers day to you Sandra and all the Ladies in this community 🌹
Same to you!
Thank you Sandra , from a 75 year young woman, love you 🥰
Happy Mother's Day❤
Happy Mother’s Day to you as well
Wow!! Beautiful poem! Super touchy 😍🥲❤️
You look absolutely stunning😍
Happy belated Mother’s Day 🎂🍀🌸❤️
I was blessed with a great Mother and grandmother and cherish the memories.
Unfortunately my child is distance. But still thankful I taught what it was to love your Mom and grandma. And hopefully it will mend some day. Keeping the Faith.
Wishing all Mother's a beautiful Mother's Day ❤️
Sanda, I'm a mother of four. I, too, have made mistakes along the way, but through the years, those mistakes turned into tools for love. God bless all moms today.
Thanks for sharing!!
Happy Mother’s Day Sandra ❤ wish we all could give you a Big Hug 🤗
I would like to give everyone a big hug right back!
Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra! 😊💐Don’t make me cry!☺️ Lovely segment. I am a godmother to 4 and a Great Aunt, “GAL” to 3 and 1/2☺️(one due in September). I love them all and I enjoy reading to the 3 girls under 3 years old, and birthdays for the others. Thank you for your kind words, as always.💐
"3 and 1/2", love it.
Love that! Thank you so much for sharing
Beautiful sentiments.✨My grandmother was horribly toxic. Her kids couldn't wait to leave the house. But then they all were drawn back to her as adults. Too many people think DNA matters more than actual love. Anyhow as a result of being around her again her toxic behavior was mimicked and passed down to the next generations. It's a mess and not a happy group. I luckily freed myself long ago. It would be wonderful if everyone was as wise and reflective as you are. To recognize and learn from mistakes and wanting to be better. It takes real courage and a loving heart.❤ Not everyone has that. You are a special being.😊
Maria, so true. I am happy you escaped. The older I get the more. I understand how important it is to try to keep growing and improving who we are.
I loved this video.
I have a similar blouse i bought in China. I wear it to live theater and concerts in the nearest largest city.
Babies don’t come with instructions manual.
Stay where you are and where you want to be.
I’m 71…I’ve been alone since 2013. I have many projects that keep me busy.
I have two biological daughters and two ( step) daughters that I continue to relate to even after divorcing their dad in 1992.
Thanks for the conversation ❤️
Wishing you a bright and beautiful Mother's Day, Madame! Your poem with which you opened your video is just incredible - so emotional and poignant. Your children and grandchildren are so fortunate, blessed and lucky to have you! I love a quote that celebrates the love and our gifts, as women, to all this Mother's Day: "Both spiritual companionship and spiritual motherliness are not limited to the physical wife and mother relationship, but they extend to all people with whom woman comes into contact." - St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. 🌺❤🙏
Thank you so much for sharing that today with us
So glad l came across your video today, lm approaching my twilight years after raising five children, it was a joyful time in my life, l miss the craziness but also l am embracing the peace and quiet. I also want to live alone as long as l can.My husband passed away ten years ago.l miss him dearly but l am learning to care for and love myself. Happy belated Mothers Day.
You look lovely today Sandra and Happy Mother's Day to you and all the Mother's whether to humans or animals. I chose to break the cycle by not having human children with zero regrets at 62. My Mother had mental issues that were not talked about back then and the person I thought was my Father was her enabler. So, life is not a fairytale for all of us. I'm happy for those of you who did have Camelot however. Appreciate every day and be thankful you have the opportunity to enjoy another day! We all appreciate you Sandra!
I can truly understand your decision. Mothers aren’t perfect and life is not perfect and we take away from it what we will to mold our own lives. You have found yours.
Happy Mothers Day Sandra🙌🏻🍑🧡Lisa
Thank you so much, Lisa. You as well.
Thank you Sandra ❤ from a French granny in France ❤️🌟✨🌟✨
You have an amazing way with words. I was hooked the first 10 seconds
Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra. I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful your poem is. Brought a tear to my eye. Hope you have a wonderful day. God bless you💗🌸💗🌸💗
Thank you so much!
There Nothing In The World Like A Mother’s Love, You gave me the roots to start this life, and then you gave me Wings to Fly, Happy Mother’s Day Sandra 💘💕
You got through Mother's Day alone, so well done for doing something difficult and against your maternal instinct. You're tying to be selfless, but others want you around more than you think and will improve the lives of others, being the opposite of what you think as you never impose on your loved ones. They need you more than ever and can only focus on their own lives when you're around. ❤
My Mother died when I was 14, but later I was blessed with two daughters of my own and I couldn't wish for better daughters.
Hi, that's a nice way of looking at Mother's Day - all women can be mothers to everyone - I agree that we're mostly nurturing...
Your poem is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.
I hope you had a peaceful, content Mother's Day. xx
I did. And thank you so much for being here.
Happy Mother's Day Sandra, I hear what you are saying. I agree with you 💯.
Your children are fortunate to feel free to ask you the tough questions about their childhood; as an adult I would never venture there with my mother who was kind and gentle but suffered from narcissistic histrionics. and having a “conversation” with her about any controversial family issue would result in defensive keening and I do mean screeching. My obstacle in life is a great fear of risk and being a people pleaser. I don’t blame my mother she loved me in spite of her mental disorder and I miss her. She was intelligent, earning a college degree in her forties; equestrian, pilot and artist. Abundant with talent but she did not know how to deal with babies and toddlers in the fifties. I don’t blame her, I understand her.
Happy Mother's Day to you, Sandra! 💐 Isn't it just so easy as adults to blame our parents for whatever isn't right in our lives! How about realizing that parents are just people. They have their issues just like we all do. I think this is a valuable perspective to consider especially if you didn't win the gene pool and had a rough go of it. For all of us, I think it's important to find the good in our relationships, if there's indeed one to be had. We place a tremendous amount of pressure on our expectations of how we think it should be between ourselves and our parents. PARENTS ARE JUST PEOPLE!! I say cut ourselves, and them, some slack and appreciate we were given an opportunity to CREATE OUR OWN LIFE the way we chose to live it. Particularly once we become adults. How cool is that! So, thank you Mom for all of it! It helped to make me into the person I am, it's given me many memories that are my own personal treasures, and instilled what's needed most in this crazy life...a sense of humor! Sandra, the 'needed to be said' point about it being a sign of good parenting to prompt empty nesting (I'm paraphrasing) 👍🎯 To have a child WANT to go live their life and find out who they are would be the ultimate sign you've done your job as a parent. I spent so long apologizing for being independent and a loner. No more. I'm good with it. I know that when I do have people in my life it's because there's a mutual want for it. And if a parent is an independent loner, what a wonderful opportunity for children to learn respect for another's boundaries and realizing that mom's and dad's are allowed to be who they are. They aren't just there for you. A good life lesson, IMO. Your poem is so lovely Sandra. Thank you for sharing with us. You look divine in your peachy/apricot satin today! Wishing a beautiful mother a beautiful day😘🧡
I hope everyone reads this! Such a wise and true perspective! Thanks so much for sharing with all of us today.
“Happy Mother’s Day💌♥️💖Sandra, Life Isn’t Easy As We Get Older “God Bless”🦋🌈
That is so very true
THANK YOU DEAR ❤ LOVE ALWAYS
Beautiful message! Thank you and happy belated Mother’s Day, Sandra.
Beautiful Poem!! Happy Mother’s Day!🌷🌷🌸🌸
Thank you! You too!
From saudi arabia i hope the GOD give you good life full of every thing you like and all Followers
Happy Mother’s Day to you! ❤❤❤
Happy Mother's Day, Sandra!🌷
So beautiful!
Always a pleasure to hear from you Sandra. We do our best for our children at that time, life is not perfect and my kids know how much I love them, so much. Thank you Sandra, your videos mean alot. I wish you all the best xxx
All the best to you
Happy mother's day Sandra! 🌺
I raised two beautiful girls who are both mothers . One had four naturally the other adopted three each with a disability. They are great moms and that is my biggest blessing.
Happy Mothers day Sandra!
Thank you so much
I love this so much!!!
Lovely message❤
Happy Mother's Day! Great video! 🌻🙏
Beautiful words, Sandra. Thank you.
Thanks for listening
Happy Mother's Day to all mother's. God bless us all. 🌹
Blessings your way
Sandra, I had the best childhood experience. My parents both loved and respected one another. Happy Mother's Day 💐
You were so fortunate.
Love that poem❤❤❤ and you ❤❤❤.
Happy Mother's Day!
God bless you Sandra you always know just the right words to say. I hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day.🌹💐🙏💖💝💯
Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra ❤
Thank you same to you. LOVE❤🌹
Thanks for your honesty
Always! Truth will set all of us free. None of us is perfect and we are all human. Even mothers.😍
Such a wonderful discussion and so many thoughts I’ve pondered in this area. You captured so many vital, true and realizations to deeply ponder. I love your heart and I love you Sandra. You are a loving kind beautiful inspiration to so many. I’m grateful I connected with you so many months ago! Thank you and may you have peace and joy beyond your imagination always. 🩷
Happy Mother’s Day to a sweet person ❤
Absolutely 💯 Beautiful…..Thankyou…..so much for “Sharing”””your Life….your profound WISDOM…..Amen…..🙏
Happy belated Mother’s Day to you Mrs. Sandra. 🙏
Awww. Beautiful. Thank you.
You are so kind
Happy Mothers Day. Thanks to the many women who stood in the gap and continue to do so. You are valued too💜
Yes! Thank you! Well said
Thanks for sharing ❤
You are so welcome
Thank you Sandra.Happy Mother's day.I loved this video.
Happy Mother’s Day Sandra🌷 such a beautiful poem, love it🌹