Frustrating does not describe it. Traumatizing is more like it. If you haven't been thru it you cannot even begin to imagine the horror. It was long ago for me but I will never forget.
Amen brother..was legally prescribed..on disability for bipolar..an was at 6bars a day an could not don"this" ANYMORE..I KNO ALREADY U GET THAT!!!!..OLD DR DIED HIS PARTNER PRACTICE ONE DIES 2 YRS LATER NOW WIT SOMEONE WHO DOESNT REALLY KNO KNO ME BUT AT TIMES FELT LIKE IM DYIN...PARANOID..AN WHY ALL THIS.."RITE-AID" WHO AFTER WALGREENS CLOSED NEAR ME ..ID GET YELLOW ALWAYS FROM WALGREENS AND GG WHITE FROM ALOT OF TIMES..MARCH 1ST 2O20 GO FIGURE...I GET SHOCKED BY SEEIN ROUND ONES AN EVEN SAID TO MY GIRL....TF IS THIS???? BUT TRUSTED RITE AID OF COURSE BUT WERE "MYLAN" WHICH I FOUND OUT WERE ALMOST FAKE ...LIKE HEMP INSTEAD OF REAL THC!!! .AN IT REALLY EFFED ME HARD AN IM 50 SO...AFTER A HELL AFTER HELL OF CAOUS...ALWAYS GOT GG SINCE BUT DAMAGE WAS DONE!!!..BUT TOLD NOT ASKED TOLD HER I WANT TO USE THE EXTENDED RELEASE INSTEAD OR IR S...AN SHE SAID OK AN WOW THEY IN MANY WAYS THE SUBOXEN TO OPIATES CAUSE 2 A DAY AN HALF LIFE IS 9-14HRS..A HUGE SCARY CHOICE BUT COULD NOT KEEP IR LIFE ...KILLED ME..BUT TODAY I TAKE 2 3MG ER ZANAX AN WOW ..STILL HAVE MY GENETIC BS..ANXIETY ETC BUT ...NEVER ONCE IN OVER 10YRS THE EXTENDED!! I NEVER KNEW BUT REALLY SAVED ME BIG...I LOV YA BRO CAUSE I FELT UR .."ANGER" AT THESE 2 DUMMYS...CAUSE U EITHER BEEN TO WEAR U TAKIN A KNIFE TO BED AN DONT RECOGNIZE URSELF.....NO ONE THATS BEEN THROUGH THE TRUE HELL ...PHYSICALLY/MENTAL/EMOTIONAL....CAN EXPLAIN WHAT DAY TO DAY..HOUR BY HOUR..MINS...SECS...LOST MY GIRL CAUSE OF ME BEIN SUCH A "BLANK BLANK" ETC...U KNO IM SURE BUT 👍 😌 💯 STAY ALIVE BRO AN OXY BS IS A WALK IN THE PARK COMPARED TO THESE AN THAS REAL AS RAIN BROTHER!!!!HOPE U READ THIS...BUT JUS FELT UR POST HARD...IM THE SAME WAY...LIKE THE TALKIN FROM THEY SISTER OR FRIEND THEY SAW OR HEARD A STORY..U GOTTA GO IN THE FIRE TO BE ABLE TO COM OUT CAUSE UR BLOOD FEELS LIKE FIRE!!!!🙏🙏🙏✊🏼✊🏼MUCH LOVE
Amen .... Do you remember a metallic taste in your mouth??? I came off of 6 years of clonazepam and for the first two months I had a metallic taste in my mouth and that was cortisol. Imagine that the stress response hormone that most people only know if they got into a car accident or something crazy bad like that happened is instead something a benzo user that is withdrawing will experience perpetually for months
Imagine being held captive and tortured day on end. The feeling you would have when your captor entered the room.....that's what chemical terror feels like. It's a fear that originates in your very soul....its the WORST feeling and so very traumatizing.
Very good descripe. I feel that every minute of the day. Did you have feeling that your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things? I suffer it all day. My brain is alarming every minute that it doesn't understand anything normal. Not even TV. I was confident active social person before I was prescriped a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma and now i'm alone mostly because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I am in a different reality from other people. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. I can't anymore go even for walk (i love to exercise) or to store and get food. I fear I am brain dead forever and won't survive tapering to zero. Two times were too quick and went badly wrong and now with Ashton manual and 10 months to taper to zero and I'm so scared and fear I'm forever disabled. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function and similar problems.
@ Lauren 85. It's bad for me too. Quit cold turkey in 2019 took 6mo. to hit me. Went to ER Christmas eve and they treated me like a homeless addict. No meds no help just scolded and tossed out. My family is tired of me and Dr s too. Almost passed out in PT last week and will return today hope all goes well. 3 yrs and still affected. Took Klonopin for 9 yrs.
@@Misfit-from-Zanti I'm sorry to hear that. This is hell. My worst symptom is brain lock, I don't understand a simple thing and normal life. I have to be isolated because of constant panic and fight or flight state. I have 27 mg of diazepam to taper (from 60) and temazepam also. At least ten months to taper to zero with Ashton manual. My new doctor is very kind and understanding. My family is too tired of me and o was always social, helped other people and was active before was prescriped a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma. And waking up in horror that still stuck with this drug and no quick way out. I'm hoping you all the best. Thank you for writing me.
Involuntary muscle contractions, muscleshock, intense shaking legs and cramping feet since 30 month's, 18 hours a day are my worst symptoms. It is pure torture.
Going through withdrawals right now. No sleep last night. This sucks big time. Kept on having the worst thoughts ever. Paranoid, everything. My head feels like a blimp.
I had this for months! It’s like your horrifically terrorized by your brain that you are literally PIND to your SEAT !!! And are afraid to move! it was HORRIFIC!
EXACTLY, I had been in like a frozen state for the 1st couple months all the time and now in month 5 post jump I am still feeling this. I recognize it now when my back starts hurting from sitting in a hunched over position on the couch. Body is tense, arms folded tight against my body, legs tight together while my right foot sits on top of my left foot and twitches. I feel like I am being prepared to jump and run if I get spooked but probably couldn't if I had to. It's crazy and uncomfortable and just plain weird. I also find it's always the same position. I've heard of akathisia where you can't stop moving but I am the opposite of that. I'm paranoid and I hate this so much. Thanks to everyone for sharing and God bless!
@@JIMMYJREVIEWS_thaiM-A-F-I-A Thank you for your kindness. I hope this for you as well if you are still going through this hell. I really appreciated your post as I haven't seen many people mention this. I was on Clonazepam for over 20 years and have just recently realized that my horrible life was actually because I was suffering from tolerance withdrawal and no one knew. What a cruel joke. Take care!
@@pamela9270 I hope you all the best. I'm in constant fight or flight state and having brain shut down and not understanding normal things. Isolated, dp/dr and agoraphobia. Third time to try to get off of this shit. Two times were too quick and went badly wrong. I was very active social confident grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after bad trauma. I can't talk normal things, can't be with my partner or other people. Just my mom brings me food. Have about 8 months to taper to zero. I fear brain lock is permanent brain damage.
5 months off and I’m still dealing with horrific dizziness, lightheaded, almost passing out feelings. Agoraphobia and terror to do things like even go to the grocery store. This has ruined my life 💔
Yep. Have been off 4 times. And the longest I was off - was 3 months and I couldn’t leave the house. I would drive down the road… panic… start tightening my abdominal muscles… then turn around and go back. I have muscle tension everywhere.
There are no words. Trust me - nothing describes the absolute and unimaginable torment of benzodiazepine withdrawal. You feel like your soul and body is being torn apart and that you can’t even think beyond escaping the living nightmare that you’re going through. You start to consider suicide because it seems preferable to the torture of existence. You can’t imagine making it through another 10 minutes of it let alone hours or days or weeks. It is pure unadulterated hell.
I know that why I keep popping them for the last 23 years and need a life time supply of this stuff cause i sure dont want to endure the torture. My number 1 fear is when and if i ever run out of this med. being on benzo for me is like choosing life or death.
Post-acute withdrawal is awful!! Memory loss, speach loss, word loss, huge brain fog, irritability, anxiety is indescribable!!! Insomnia … I’d end up in the ER for not being able to sleep!!!
I need to quit according to my retiring doctor. This scares the shit put of me. Basically all I'm hearing is no hope for ever having a normal life again .
Tapering problems: pounding heart off and on. Tinnitis and gets worse at night, neuropathy, body jerks, sleep about 4-5 hours at present, when I first started taper only slept about 1-2 hours and woke with panic. Taking alot of Ibuprophen for headace, muscle pain. Been tapering since Jan 24. I hear it will get worse as I increase taper. Im retired, so dont have to worry about work….Ive read about 80 books ‘cause Im pretty homebound and spend alot of time in recliner.
@@revaliddiard-bowen8 You must find a good doctor who can monitor you during this time. I teied on my own- I’d always fail. My advice is to find a dr, have some blood work done, monitor your blood pressure and heart rate. I think you are doing it too fast. Slow down a bit. I am sending you 🤗 and support!
@@BzInfoCoalition@MrNate05 i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have.... escitalopram 5mg clonazepam 0.5mg i have taken.... should I taper slowly or discontinue it??
You've managed to trivialize something so utterly horrific with the cobbler example. The unrelenting torment of this injury is absolutely nothing to find cute or funny. Would you find a child being gang-raped funny? The torture is on par. Get real.
I have been off Valium for 5 months and I am still having awful withdrawal. Headaches, nausea, anxiety, tinnitus, dark circles under my eyes, low testosterone, night sweats, nightmares, etc. I hate this drug.
I have all that except the testosterone, since I took the benzos I have erections like never before, my girlfriend is delighted hahaha, greetings from Mexico
I was off of Clonazapam for over a month. It was a living hell. The worst parts were the insomnia, sweating, agoraphobia, and, "tremors". I have developed seizures. Even though they put me back on it, and I am seeing a new doctor(other one did not want to taper me off of it), I am still having the seizures. I am currently on Neurontin for the seizures. I wouldn't wish the withdrawal on anyone. Stay strong, everyone. You are not alone.
I’ve had 6 seizures since tapering clonazopam, now my schedule aren’t as consistent for me to easily explain here, but I’m glad I was able to at least find someone who’ve had multiple seizures also. I’m around 0.5~0.25mg every 4 day now, slowly coming off. But the doctor don’t seem to believe that it was the clonazopam that caused it. I’ve never had seizures in my life before taking this, my highest dose was 1mg daily for around 1.5 year. Seizures are spread out to around 1-2 months, now I’ll be going in to a Seizure centre to do 4 days EEG check, also I’ve been prescribed Lamictal. I would love to know If any of this sound familiar.
I was given no taper after 7 years prescribed because my doctor found out I went too a rehab for drinking too manage anxiety same clonopin does 7 years for a child
Indescribable and beyond harrowing. I would not wish Benzo withdrawal on my worst enemy. All the best, Everyone. It is possible to w/d and recover. I promise. ❤️
@@Adaeze611 Time heals us Adah, but we must take control of our Healing by using every tool we have or can find to help the Process along. It takes work, but not acting intentionally and just “waiting” for time to Pass is unhelpful. You will recover and heal. Keep the faith. One breath, one step. ❤️
@@donna6165 I’m trying to hold on. I don’t know what else to do to help myself. I want to end things . Poly drugged , currently on 200mg of seroquel for sleep . Tried to stop it and things became worse. I wasn’t this bad early on .
Hi guys; just wanna say thank You All for your comments; I feel less alone in this pure torture- hopefully it gets better soon! I am miserable- although I am tapering.
I get the "terror" symptoms too, right before sleep I will suddenly awake and open my eyes and that usually happens 2 - 3 times before I actually fall asleep. During my sleep I have had nightmares about demonic entities and other evil beings in which I won't elaborate on just thinking of them gives me the heebie-jeebies. God bless ❤
I'm 22... I'm having the same thing , I have PTSD and panic disorder trying to stop Ativan, sometimes j forget how to breathe and it scares me I breathe too slowly , I get too hot , hot flashes i can't sleep AND MOSTLY nightmares about dying, monsters ect ect and everyday i havent have a dream in months God bless you keep praying my friend i wish you a good recovering ❤❤❤ 🙏
Demonic beings are always chasing me when I taper down my Xanax, in my dreams. I try and fly away but I can't stay up in the air long enough. It's like being in an exorcist movie.😢
Mine was tongue paralysis or stopping breathing many times during the day. Or oxygen dropping to 70 or feet turning blue and off. Basically my body wanting to die. So. Or maybe my dr calling the police to have me locked up? Lots of unique experiences.
I have gone from 5 years laid down screaming, retching, terror, Akathesia to going out doing photography and making funny selfie videos to inhalation of a toxic glue in the bathroom and now suicidal hell. I could stand. I can't hold my head up. I can't get to the toilet. I feel like someone pushing my head down. It feels solid. My ears a solid. I'm spinning head. Can't move. Burning and shivering. Please help. I live alone. I can't even get a drink.. What is happening? The hospital won't help. My head is like hit with hammer.
You and me. Nine years off, having a 16 hour (so far) panic attack. My brain thinks going to sleep is dangerous because it jolts me awake as soon as I fall asleep.
Oath. I went cold turkey of 15mg of Valium lasted 2 weeks. First week was tough then the second week boom. Intrusive thoughts about life/death, suicide, sexuality & basically anything that could shake what I concisely believed were “foundational thoughts”. Rocked up to the ER to get re-instated back on the meds to do a taper. It’s insanity 101 😂
Can a doctor just cut a patient off benzos w/out telling them or warning? I had been taking 1 mg a night for 33 years. She would NOT answer my calls. I didn't realize that I could have died. Had a seizure, then another at the E.R. Finally she put me back on...she LIED about it and changed my medical records.
I got my husband a job as hospital risk manager. It's common practice for the medical industry to falsify records, lie, and move blame from doctors to nurses. He even made handwriting look like the original.
Trying to get off benzos has turned me into a raging alcoholic. I need treatment which means they will put me back on benzos to help with the alcohol withdrawals. I am in a lose-lose situation. Last timer I went off benzos i developed akathisia and goggled the tallest hotel in Austin with a balcony because it was pure torture. MY Dr had to reinstate me on Benzos and I am down to 10 MG of valium which I ONLY take at bedtime. . Some nights 7.5 MG will work but this is when combined with alcohol. I need help and have no idea what I need to do to get well.
I'm have so many brain fogging and feel scared all day everyday it feels like my head sways back an forth my eyes get double vision I don't know what to do.
@@syntholshoulders1842 But here’s the thing: like opiates, there are people who need them, whether for a disability like dystonia or because a person is dependent on them. These people should keep their access to them. Have we learned nothing from the War on Opiates? We don’t want the DEA getting involved!
It's like PTSD symptoms without a tramua. If I hadn't suffered panic disorder/ptsd I would find the chemical terror very traumatic. I'm not saying it can't be traumatic, but for me having past experience with this....awful terror feeling helped me not lose my shit and go to the ER.
See that's what is really happening cause receptors heal regardless but ur mind holds on to the trauma from benzo withdrawal mimicking the symptoms it becomes like ocd you become obsessed with the negative feelings when people hear obsessed they think how can I be obsessed with panic and other stuff but truth Is your body is obsessed with thought of will I ever heal plus the trauma from the original withdrawal....my biggest symptom was air hunger but after a while I learned that I keep feeling air hunger for so long cause i was constantly thinking about it from when it started....samething with panic ur thinking about it...if you could take out trauma aspect of it 90% of symptoms would be gone but to get rid of trauma it takes alot of effort pain and you have to trust ur body but it's hard when ur thought process is so negative
Fucking hell im in the middle of it and fucking hell im done with it ! Never ever gonna do this to my body EVER again wtf this is the worst ! Mood changes, dizzyness all the time, fucking shaking and random mustle shoks and fucking helllll
Hi Jim, I am in constant fight or flight state and panic and horror and can't help it. Did you at any point feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things? I suffer it all day. My brain is alarming every minute. I have horror waking ups like you feel you die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this. I was confident active social person before trauma and doctor who prescriped me a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma. Now I can't go anymore even for walks (I love to exercise) and can't go to store and get food. I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I am in a different reality from other people. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. I can't do barely anything. Two tapers went badly wrong. Now third time tapering with Ashton manual and will drop at 27,5 mg of diazepam this week. I'm exhausted and so afraid and alone. I have a partner but I can't be with him. I can only see my mom. Have 10 months to taper to zero and fear I won't survive and heal. My brain is constantly saying I don't understand this and that and I get not one minute at peace. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function or similar problems.
@@lauriina85 Hi, sorry, I just saw your message. Let me know if you see this. You need some hope and encouragement that this nightmare will end for you. Sounds like you are going thorough many of the same things I went through.
@@jimbob4456 Hi, thank you for answering. I really need hope. I have written my story on many pages, here also. I am so exhausted and scared. 1,5 years of torture. Brain lock, not understanding normal things and normal life is my worst. Like I tell in my story it went away once over a year ago when I had first time diazepam 10 mg after awful witdrwal symptoms of oxazepam and I got relief and could function normally, see my partner or other people (I did then in bad withdrawl symptoms and now also have a symptom that I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and can't talk normal things and can't be with my loved ones) exercise, sleep, go anywhere etc. But taper was too quick and went badly wrong. After then one ct in hospital and said I couldn't have any withdrawl symptoms and I got home very sick and was prescriped klonopin to get relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help. And here I am, was four months ago back to squere one (I had first presciped 90 mg of oxazepam in summer 2021 after bad trauma and panic attacks and no warnings), realised I have been in tolerance and did crossover from klonopin to diazepam and tapered from 60 mg to 22 mg. I'm very depressed and traumatised, they treated me like trash in hospital. I wake up in pure hell and terror and realise I'm still stuck with this drug and have at least 8 months to taper to zero with Ashton manual. Now I have a good doctor and nurses who say this is from benzo and there is a proof because once when I got all my witdrawl symptoms away, even with chemical, stronger diazepam (than oxazepam) and I got relief and and calmed and brain lock went away and came back when witdrawl symptoms got bad and since then I have been whole time in tolerance and nothing helps. So I have no choice but to force doses down. I have no windows. I am afraid of my partner leaving me at some point because I don't heal quicker. I have suicidal thoughts everyday and doctor knows it. I have a good life and I'm normally confident active social grateful person and now i don't feel myself even human anymore. I'm isolated, agoraphobia and depersonalization and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. This is hell and torture. I have been fighting from 2021 summer, suffered so much. I want my life and brain back. Thank you if you can answer if you had any similar problems with brain function and being totally overwhelmed anything normal and not understanding normal things. I love to go to gym and run and now i can't. I'm not me. Thank you for caring and supporting. I have so long way to go and taper and have also temazepam 20 mg to taper. And I'm all the time on awake in hell and scared to death and griefing all the events and things I miss because I can't go anywhere. I'm griefing that I have lost everything that makes me me. And I have been through so many traumas and survived and been stronger and grateful to God from many things. And I have lost all the strenght, my able to have flow feeling everyday, feeling pure love for my dogs (that are both in heaven now) and to my loved ones. Able to enjoy little things. Hope you are well.
That's still a short period of time for this so for most yes, there really isn't a normal for coming off this stuff. I'm currently on a very slow taper thankfully. For some it's just mild discomfort for a few weeks, for others it's absolute terror for months, up to a year and some longer. It really depends on duration, dose and which benzo, some are long acting like Klonopin, some are short acting like Xanax (the worst of them). If you've been on either for years, especially at a medium to high dose problems are more likely to persist for a long time.
@@MrNate05i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have
@@MrNate05@MrNate05 i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have
Intrusive thoughts, dp dr , brain fog burning pressure chemical tear everything scared vision problems Lol something the scarecrow would use if he was real
Thered NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE YOU EITHET AGAINAT BENZOS OR NOT ALOT OF OLD TIMERS SAYING 3 OR 4 WEEKS IS OK LOL THERES PLENTY OF PEOPLE SUFFERING JUST FROM ER USAGE
@@zachbartok3676I don’t think they’re gonna be removed. Just like Ozempic, Wagovy and Mounjaro. All dangerous drugs but they make so much money. Big Pharma is the devil incarnate.
Frustrating does not describe it. Traumatizing is more like it. If you haven't been thru it you cannot even begin to imagine the horror. It was long ago for me but I will never forget.
Amen brother..was legally prescribed..on disability for bipolar..an was at 6bars a day an could not don"this" ANYMORE..I KNO ALREADY U GET THAT!!!!..OLD DR
DIED HIS PARTNER PRACTICE ONE DIES 2 YRS LATER NOW WIT SOMEONE WHO DOESNT REALLY KNO KNO ME BUT AT TIMES FELT LIKE IM DYIN...PARANOID..AN WHY ALL THIS.."RITE-AID" WHO AFTER WALGREENS CLOSED NEAR ME ..ID GET YELLOW ALWAYS FROM WALGREENS AND GG WHITE FROM ALOT OF TIMES..MARCH 1ST 2O20 GO FIGURE...I GET SHOCKED BY SEEIN ROUND ONES AN EVEN SAID TO MY GIRL....TF IS THIS????
BUT TRUSTED RITE AID OF COURSE BUT WERE "MYLAN" WHICH I FOUND OUT WERE ALMOST FAKE ...LIKE HEMP INSTEAD OF REAL THC!!!
.AN IT REALLY EFFED ME HARD AN IM 50 SO...AFTER A HELL AFTER HELL OF CAOUS...ALWAYS GOT GG SINCE BUT DAMAGE WAS DONE!!!..BUT TOLD NOT ASKED TOLD HER I WANT TO USE THE EXTENDED RELEASE INSTEAD OR IR S...AN SHE SAID OK AN WOW THEY IN MANY WAYS THE SUBOXEN TO OPIATES CAUSE 2 A DAY AN HALF LIFE IS 9-14HRS..A HUGE SCARY CHOICE BUT COULD NOT KEEP IR LIFE
...KILLED ME..BUT TODAY I TAKE 2 3MG ER ZANAX AN WOW ..STILL HAVE MY GENETIC BS..ANXIETY ETC BUT ...NEVER ONCE IN OVER 10YRS THE EXTENDED!! I NEVER KNEW BUT REALLY SAVED ME BIG...I LOV YA BRO CAUSE I FELT UR .."ANGER" AT THESE 2 DUMMYS...CAUSE U EITHER BEEN TO WEAR U TAKIN A KNIFE TO BED AN DONT RECOGNIZE URSELF.....NO ONE THATS BEEN THROUGH THE TRUE HELL ...PHYSICALLY/MENTAL/EMOTIONAL....CAN EXPLAIN WHAT DAY TO DAY..HOUR BY HOUR..MINS...SECS...LOST MY GIRL CAUSE OF ME BEIN SUCH A "BLANK BLANK" ETC...U KNO IM SURE BUT 👍 😌 💯 STAY ALIVE BRO AN OXY BS IS A WALK IN THE PARK COMPARED TO THESE AN THAS REAL AS RAIN BROTHER!!!!HOPE U READ THIS...BUT JUS FELT UR POST HARD...IM THE SAME WAY...LIKE THE TALKIN FROM THEY SISTER OR FRIEND THEY SAW OR HEARD A STORY..U GOTTA GO IN THE FIRE TO BE ABLE TO COM OUT CAUSE UR BLOOD FEELS LIKE FIRE!!!!🙏🙏🙏✊🏼✊🏼MUCH LOVE
True
Quite so! Knowing & understanding without experiencing this means nothing.
True belief requires experiencing it....
Amen .... Do you remember a metallic taste in your mouth??? I came off of 6 years of clonazepam and for the first two months I had a metallic taste in my mouth and that was cortisol. Imagine that the stress response hormone that most people only know if they got into a car accident or something crazy bad like that happened is instead something a benzo user that is withdrawing will experience perpetually for months
Yes, the horror is unimaginable for those who haven't been through it.
Imagine being held captive and tortured day on end.
The feeling you would have when your captor entered the room.....that's what chemical terror feels like.
It's a fear that originates in your very soul....its the WORST feeling and so very traumatizing.
This is EXACTLY it, Dana. My God, you’ve captured the torment completely. Devastating. 🫶🏻😔
Very good descripe. I feel that every minute of the day. Did you have feeling that your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things? I suffer it all day. My brain is alarming every minute that it doesn't understand anything normal. Not even TV. I was confident active social person before I was prescriped a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma and now i'm alone mostly because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I am in a different reality from other people. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. I can't anymore go even for walk (i love to exercise) or to store and get food. I fear I am brain dead forever and won't survive tapering to zero. Two times were too quick and went badly wrong and now with Ashton manual and 10 months to taper to zero and I'm so scared and fear I'm forever disabled. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function and similar problems.
@ Lauren 85. It's bad for me too. Quit cold turkey in 2019 took 6mo. to hit me. Went to ER Christmas eve and they treated me like a homeless addict. No meds no help just scolded and tossed out. My family is tired of me and Dr s too. Almost passed out in PT last week and will return today hope all goes well. 3 yrs and still affected. Took Klonopin for 9 yrs.
@@Misfit-from-Zanti I'm sorry to hear that. This is hell. My worst symptom is brain lock, I don't understand a simple thing and normal life. I have to be isolated because of constant panic and fight or flight state.
I have 27 mg of diazepam to taper (from 60) and temazepam also. At least ten months to taper to zero with Ashton manual. My new doctor is very kind and understanding. My family is too tired of me and o was always social, helped other people and was active before was prescriped a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma.
And waking up in horror that still stuck with this drug and no quick way out. I'm hoping you all the best. Thank you for writing me.
Same here its Horriblr phuckiny posion
Involuntary muscle contractions, muscleshock, intense shaking legs and cramping feet since 30 month's, 18 hours a day are my worst symptoms. It is pure torture.
Going through withdrawals right now. No sleep last night. This sucks big time. Kept on having the worst thoughts ever. Paranoid, everything. My head feels like a blimp.
Research, Amanita dreamer online. The amanita muscaria mushroom works on Gabba receptors same as benzo’s, 🍄
Hey! I am dealing with the same symptoms. Has it gotten better for you?
I can completely relate
Suicidal thoughts are the worst
I had this for months! It’s like your horrifically terrorized by your brain that you are literally PIND to your SEAT !!! And are afraid to move! it was HORRIFIC!
EXACTLY, I had been in like a frozen state for the 1st couple months all the time and now in month 5 post jump I am still feeling this. I recognize it now when my back starts hurting from sitting in a hunched over position on the couch. Body is tense, arms folded tight against my body, legs tight together while my right foot sits on top of my left foot and twitches. I feel like I am being prepared to jump and run if I get spooked but probably couldn't if I had to. It's crazy and uncomfortable and just plain weird. I also find it's always the same position. I've heard of akathisia where you can't stop moving but I am the opposite of that. I'm paranoid and I hate this so much. Thanks to everyone for sharing and God bless!
@@pamela9270I pray gods speed your healing 🙏🏻🤝😊
@@JIMMYJREVIEWS_thaiM-A-F-I-A Thank you for your kindness. I hope this for you as well if you are still going through this hell. I really appreciated your post as I haven't seen many people mention this. I was on Clonazepam for over 20 years and have just recently realized that my horrible life was actually because I was suffering from tolerance withdrawal and no one knew. What a cruel joke. Take care!
@@pamela9270 ya , true that ! It’s an evil learning curve! See you at the finish line ! I know you can make it !!!😊🥳🍾
@@pamela9270 I hope you all the best. I'm in constant fight or flight state and having brain shut down and not understanding normal things. Isolated, dp/dr and agoraphobia. Third time to try to get off of this shit. Two times were too quick and went badly wrong. I was very active social confident grateful person before I was prescriped a big amount benzo and no warnings after bad trauma.
I can't talk normal things, can't be with my partner or other people. Just my mom brings me food.
Have about 8 months to taper to zero. I fear brain lock is permanent brain damage.
I ended up homeless going through Benzo withdrawal onThe street. It does not get worse than that!
Im so sorry to hear that. How are you holding up now?
And I'm bitching from my comfy bed....best wishes for your future.
In a complete state of dpdr. Chemical torture 24/7. It's a complete prison.
I totally understand
So glad you made it ❤
Love Dr. Huff, She has been such an advocate for the Benzo harmed. We appreciate her!
She passed
Dr huff took her life from benzos.
5 months off and I’m still dealing with horrific dizziness, lightheaded, almost passing out feelings. Agoraphobia and terror to do things like even go to the grocery store. This has ruined my life 💔
Yep. Have been off 4 times. And the longest I was off - was 3 months and I couldn’t leave the house. I would drive down the road… panic… start tightening my abdominal muscles… then turn around and go back. I have muscle tension everywhere.
And you’re talking to someone who use to drive 5 hours to College while drinking caffeine the whole time
@@nostalgiaman6816 I’m sorry. Are you back on them?
Down to 7mg Valium year tapering 😔
@@jennynic81 4mg a day
sending hope to all. be patient with yourselves. takes time so don't lose hope! went through a ct withdrawal in 2014.
Thank you, needed to hear it.
Ct withdrawal means ?
I don’t think you should be laughing about it, this is a serious situation and joking about it is terrible
All my muscles are chronically tight. They either burn, they’re tight, or it feels like a sharp pain.
Drink water ! Just do it regardless !
There are no words. Trust me - nothing describes the absolute and unimaginable torment of benzodiazepine withdrawal. You feel like your soul and body is being torn apart and that you can’t even think beyond escaping the living nightmare that you’re going through. You start to consider suicide because it seems preferable to the torture of existence. You can’t imagine making it through another 10 minutes of it let alone hours or days or weeks. It is pure unadulterated hell.
I know that why I keep popping them for the last 23 years and need a life time supply of this stuff cause i sure dont want to endure the torture. My number 1 fear is when and if i ever run out of this med. being on benzo for me is like choosing life or death.
@
@@unixjpn Damn. Sucks to be you.
We call it "The Fear" what she was talking about at the start.. afraid of everything.... Also very bad memory loss ..
I can’t remember anything anymore. This is crazy. And the insomnia is terrible for me too.
Post-acute withdrawal is awful!! Memory loss, speach loss, word loss, huge brain fog, irritability, anxiety is indescribable!!! Insomnia … I’d end up
in the ER for not being able to sleep!!!
I need to quit according to my retiring doctor. This scares the shit put of me. Basically all I'm hearing is no hope for ever having a normal life again .
@@pamridenour5824 Im been taking benzo everyday for the last 23 years and man i need a life time supply of this or its going be agonizing torture.
Tapering problems: pounding heart off and on. Tinnitis and gets worse at night, neuropathy, body jerks, sleep about 4-5 hours at present, when I first started taper only slept about 1-2 hours and woke with panic. Taking alot of Ibuprophen for headace, muscle pain. Been tapering since Jan 24. I hear it will get worse as I increase taper. Im retired, so dont have to worry about work….Ive read about 80 books ‘cause Im pretty homebound and spend alot of time in recliner.
@@revaliddiard-bowen8 You must find a good doctor who can monitor you during this time. I teied on my own- I’d always fail. My advice is to find a dr, have some blood work done, monitor your blood pressure and heart rate. I think you are doing it too fast. Slow down a bit. I am sending you 🤗 and support!
@@revaliddiard-bowen8 how long you have been taking....how is your sleep now?
My doctor just stopped prescribing me Clonzapam today. I am terrified, and they don't seem to care. I've been taking it for a little over 10 yrs.
That's unsafe. Check out this list of benzo cooperative providers www.benzoinfo.com/doctors/
@@BzInfoCoalition thank you very much
@@BzInfoCoalition@MrNate05 i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have.... escitalopram 5mg clonazepam 0.5mg i have taken.... should I taper slowly or discontinue it??
Your doctor is a monster fir doing that to you.
You've managed to trivialize something so utterly horrific with the cobbler example. The unrelenting torment of this injury is absolutely nothing to find cute or funny. Would you find a child being gang-raped funny? The torture is on par. Get real.
I have been off Valium for 5 months and I am still having awful withdrawal. Headaches, nausea, anxiety, tinnitus, dark circles under my eyes, low testosterone, night sweats, nightmares, etc. I hate this drug.
How are you now hope all is well?
@@bigsteppa2200 much better thank you. 6 months seems to be the magic healing time.
I have all that except the testosterone, since I took the benzos I have erections like never before, my girlfriend is delighted hahaha, greetings from Mexico
How about insomnia? Have you faced insomnia? Did your tinitus go ?
@@srinivaspunith5996 im 100% healed
I was off of Clonazapam for over a month. It was a living hell. The worst parts were the insomnia, sweating, agoraphobia, and, "tremors". I have developed seizures. Even though they put me back on it, and I am seeing a new doctor(other one did not want to taper me off of it), I am still having the seizures. I am currently on Neurontin for the seizures. I wouldn't wish the withdrawal on anyone. Stay strong, everyone. You are not alone.
I’ve had 6 seizures since tapering clonazopam, now my schedule aren’t as consistent for me to easily explain here, but I’m glad I was able to at least find someone who’ve had multiple seizures also. I’m around 0.5~0.25mg every 4 day now, slowly coming off. But the doctor don’t seem to believe that it was the clonazopam that caused it. I’ve never had seizures in my life before taking this, my highest dose was 1mg daily for around 1.5 year. Seizures are spread out to around 1-2 months, now I’ll be going in to a Seizure centre to do 4 days EEG check, also I’ve been prescribed Lamictal. I would love to know If any of this sound familiar.
Going through it now...just finished my taper from a huge dosage...just over two weeks ago taper finished...very well shared from 🏴
I was given no taper after 7 years prescribed because my doctor found out I went too a rehab for drinking too manage anxiety same clonopin does 7 years for a child
@@BeckyHruch hope things are getting better...keep marching forward and upwards
How to taper.....i have taken 15 tablets in 2-3 months wen I dint get sleep?....do I need to taper or discontinue it?? i have tinitus
Indescribable and beyond harrowing. I would not wish Benzo withdrawal on my worst enemy.
All the best, Everyone. It is possible to w/d and recover. I promise. ❤️
When does it end . I need to know that this ends . I am in such bad shape and holding on is becoming harder
It always ends eventually.
@@gaildearn2564 Recovery won’t just “arrive” eventually in time, time, time. There is much Work to be done Here. ❤️
@@Adaeze611 Time heals us Adah, but we must take control of our Healing by using every tool we have or can find to help the Process along. It takes work, but not acting intentionally and just “waiting” for time to Pass is unhelpful. You will recover and heal. Keep the faith. One breath, one step. ❤️
@@donna6165 I’m trying to hold on. I don’t know what else to do to help myself. I want to end things . Poly drugged , currently on 200mg of seroquel for sleep . Tried to stop it and things became worse. I wasn’t this bad early on .
Hi guys; just wanna say thank You All for your comments; I feel less alone in this pure torture- hopefully it gets better soon! I am miserable- although I am tapering.
I get the "terror" symptoms too, right before sleep I will suddenly awake and open my eyes and that usually happens 2 - 3 times before I actually fall asleep.
During my sleep I have had nightmares about demonic entities and other evil beings in which I won't elaborate on just thinking of them gives me the heebie-jeebies.
God bless ❤
I'm 22... I'm having the same thing , I have PTSD and panic disorder trying to stop Ativan, sometimes j forget how to breathe and it scares me I breathe too slowly , I get too hot , hot flashes i can't sleep AND MOSTLY nightmares about dying, monsters ect ect and everyday i havent have a dream in months God bless you keep praying my friend i wish you a good recovering ❤❤❤ 🙏
Demonic beings are always chasing me when I taper down my Xanax, in my dreams. I try and fly away but I can't stay up in the air long enough. It's like being in an exorcist movie.😢
Hi Peter.. did this stop? I have the exact same experience right now.
Mine was tongue paralysis or stopping breathing many times during the day. Or oxygen dropping to 70 or feet turning blue and off. Basically my body wanting to die. So.
Or maybe my dr calling the police to have me locked up? Lots of unique experiences.
I'm still dealing with this.
Me too..xanax ...45 drops
Same. It's hell
@@roxanncorston9403 don t give up,🥰
@@antoniofalconepadova4741 Thank you. I'm not by God's grace. I hope you're well too. 🙏🕊
@@antoniofalconepadova4741 What is 45 drops?
I have gone from 5 years laid down screaming, retching, terror, Akathesia to going out doing photography and making funny selfie videos to inhalation of a toxic glue in the bathroom and now suicidal hell. I could stand. I can't hold my head up. I can't get to the toilet. I feel like someone pushing my head down. It feels solid. My ears a solid. I'm spinning head. Can't move. Burning and shivering. Please help. I live alone. I can't even get a drink.. What is happening? The hospital won't help. My head is like hit with hammer.
You and me. Nine years off, having a 16 hour (so far) panic attack. My brain thinks going to sleep is dangerous because it jolts me awake as soon as I fall asleep.
Been dealing with the chemical terror and POTS as well. Two of only worst sxs. Always there... wondering if the POTS resolved ? Thanks for sharing.
the depersonalization really messed with me... couldn't follow simple instrustions
Instrusive thoughts are the worst
I couldn’t stop repeating the name of a school boy that had been murdered in the early 90s.
Oath. I went cold turkey of 15mg of Valium lasted 2 weeks. First week was tough then the second week boom. Intrusive thoughts about life/death, suicide, sexuality & basically anything that could shake what I concisely believed were “foundational thoughts”. Rocked up to the ER to get re-instated back on the meds to do a taper.
It’s insanity 101 😂
Can a doctor just cut a patient off benzos w/out telling them or warning? I had been taking 1 mg a night for 33 years. She would NOT answer my calls. I didn't realize that I could have died. Had a seizure, then another at the E.R. Finally she put me back on...she LIED about it and changed my medical records.
They good liars. Shame on these doctors.
I got my husband a job as hospital risk manager. It's common practice for the medical industry to falsify records, lie, and move blame from doctors to nurses. He even made handwriting look like the original.
I'm going through that mess now. Insanity how cruel these people can be.
29 years for me.
Mine just did this is it legal..cause they found out I drank alcohol
I'm pretty sure you have a valid case to sue for malpractice. Look it up!
How could you cook. I am screaming, kicking, writhing on the floor, vomiting, our of my body, dizzy.
Trying to get off benzos has turned me into a raging alcoholic. I need treatment which means they will put me back on benzos to help with the alcohol withdrawals. I am in a lose-lose situation. Last timer I went off benzos i developed akathisia and goggled the tallest hotel in Austin with a balcony because it was pure torture. MY Dr had to reinstate me on Benzos and I am down to 10 MG of valium which I ONLY take at bedtime. . Some nights 7.5 MG will work but this is when combined with alcohol. I need help and have no idea what I need to do to get well.
Hiw u doing now? Tough situation. But I csn sort of relate.
I'm have so many brain fogging and feel scared all day everyday it feels like my head sways back an forth my eyes get double vision I don't know what to do.
Same with me
Same here. Hiw yiu doing
@@dustygatrell-ru7tg r u using any steategies
Oh my God....the cooking....this is so very real!!!!
Why aren’t comments showing?
The MD’s don’t want us talking to one another.
Someone is messing with our benzo brains - not cool people.
Big pharma has long tentacles......
These drugs are poisons they need sales they dony care about anyone this drug damage the brain
@@syntholshoulders1842 But here’s the thing: like opiates, there are people who need them, whether for a disability like dystonia or because a person is dependent on them. These people should keep their access to them.
Have we learned nothing from the War on Opiates? We don’t want the DEA getting involved!
It's like PTSD symptoms without a tramua. If I hadn't suffered panic disorder/ptsd I would find the chemical terror very traumatic. I'm not saying it can't be traumatic, but for me having past experience with this....awful terror feeling helped me not lose my shit and go to the ER.
See that's what is really happening cause receptors heal regardless but ur mind holds on to the trauma from benzo withdrawal mimicking the symptoms it becomes like ocd you become obsessed with the negative feelings when people hear obsessed they think how can I be obsessed with panic and other stuff but truth Is your body is obsessed with thought of will I ever heal plus the trauma from the original withdrawal....my biggest symptom was air hunger but after a while I learned that I keep feeling air hunger for so long cause i was constantly thinking about it from when it started....samething with panic ur thinking about it...if you could take out trauma aspect of it 90% of symptoms would be gone but to get rid of trauma it takes alot of effort pain and you have to trust ur body but it's hard when ur thought process is so negative
RIP Christy
Im so short of breath. I stopped 3 days ago
That happens tk Me sometimes too
do you suffer trauma even after the withdrawals are ended?
Fucking hell im in the middle of it and fucking hell im done with it ! Never ever gonna do this to my body EVER again wtf this is the worst ! Mood changes, dizzyness all the time, fucking shaking and random mustle shoks and fucking helllll
That was me. I was in fight flight mode for months.
Hi Jim, I am in constant fight or flight state and panic and horror and can't help it. Did you at any point feel your brain doesn't function normally and can't understand a simple thing and become overwhelmed of any normal things? I suffer it all day.
My brain is alarming every minute. I have horror waking ups like you feel you die in that second and can't take one day anymore like this. I was confident active social person before trauma and doctor who prescriped me a big amount of benzo and no warnings after trauma. Now I can't go anymore even for walks (I love to exercise) and can't go to store and get food. I'm isolated a lot because I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and feel like I am in a different reality from other people. I feel depersonalization and derealisation and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones. I can't do barely anything. Two tapers went badly wrong. Now third time tapering with Ashton manual and will drop at 27,5 mg of diazepam this week. I'm exhausted and so afraid and alone. I have a partner but I can't be with him. I can only see my mom.
Have 10 months to taper to zero and fear I won't survive and heal. My brain is constantly saying I don't understand this and that and I get not one minute at peace. Thank you if you can answer if you had any problems with brain function or similar problems.
Same here fight or flight for almost a year it has destroyed my life phuckint poison this is criminal
@@syntholshoulders1842 It is awful.
@@lauriina85 Hi, sorry, I just saw your message. Let me know if you see this. You need some hope and encouragement that this nightmare will end for you. Sounds like you are going thorough many of the same things I went through.
@@jimbob4456 Hi, thank you for answering. I really need hope. I have written my story on many pages, here also.
I am so exhausted and scared.
1,5 years of torture.
Brain lock, not understanding normal things and normal life is my worst. Like I tell in my story it went away once over a year ago when I had first time diazepam 10 mg after awful witdrwal symptoms of oxazepam and I got relief and could function normally, see my partner or other people (I did then in bad withdrawl symptoms and now also have a symptom that I tell my hell all the time to my loved ones and can't talk normal things and can't be with my loved ones) exercise, sleep, go anywhere etc. But taper was too quick and went badly wrong.
After then one ct in hospital and said I couldn't have any withdrawl symptoms and I got home very sick and was prescriped klonopin to get relief for a while and then taper but it didn't help. And here I am, was four months ago back to squere one (I had first presciped 90 mg of oxazepam in summer 2021 after bad trauma and panic attacks and no warnings), realised I have been in tolerance and did crossover from klonopin to diazepam and tapered from 60 mg to 22 mg. I'm very depressed and traumatised, they treated me like trash in hospital.
I wake up in pure hell and terror and realise I'm still stuck with this drug and have at least 8 months to taper to zero with Ashton manual. Now I have a good doctor and nurses who say this is from benzo and there is a proof because once when I got all my witdrawl symptoms away, even with chemical, stronger diazepam (than oxazepam) and I got relief and and calmed and brain lock went away and came back when witdrawl symptoms got bad and since then I have been whole time in tolerance and nothing helps. So I have no choice but to force doses down.
I have no windows.
I am afraid of my partner leaving me at some point because I don't heal quicker. I have suicidal thoughts everyday and doctor knows it. I have a good life and I'm normally confident active social grateful person and now i don't feel myself even human anymore. I'm isolated, agoraphobia and depersonalization and disconnected from people and enviroment and my loved ones.
This is hell and torture.
I have been fighting from 2021 summer, suffered so much.
I want my life and brain back.
Thank you if you can answer if you had any similar problems with brain function and being totally overwhelmed anything normal and not understanding normal things.
I love to go to gym and run and now i can't. I'm not me.
Thank you for caring and supporting. I have so long way to go and taper and have also temazepam 20 mg to taper.
And I'm all the time on awake in hell and scared to death and griefing all the events and things I miss because I can't go anywhere. I'm griefing that I have lost everything that makes me me. And I have been through so many traumas and survived and been stronger and grateful to God from many things. And I have lost all the strenght, my able to have flow feeling everyday, feeling pure love for my dogs (that are both in heaven now) and to my loved ones. Able to enjoy little things.
Hope you are well.
Did she take her own life?
I was wondering the same
@@LrgPictureyes
Doctor Chrissy Huff died from her injuries
Night sweats after 30 days still..is it normal
That's still a short period of time for this so for most yes, there really isn't a normal for coming off this stuff. I'm currently on a very slow taper thankfully. For some it's just mild discomfort for a few weeks, for others it's absolute terror for months, up to a year and some longer. It really depends on duration, dose and which benzo, some are long acting like Klonopin, some are short acting like Xanax (the worst of them). If you've been on either for years, especially at a medium to high dose problems are more likely to persist for a long time.
@@MrNate05i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have
@@MrNate05@MrNate05 i have taken 15 tablets in the duration of 2-3 months...i have taken them wen I dint get sleep....how long my symptoms will last??..... tinnitus and sleep problem i have
If a single benzo dose triggered severe disabling withdrawl when it wore off, as if ir was s CT, should one reinstate?
Rip
Intrusive thoughts, dp dr , brain fog burning pressure chemical tear everything scared vision problems
Lol something the scarecrow would use if he was real
I find aka and anhedonia even worse
Going Tru it as we speak
Pvcs & Pots are my favorite 🙄
Thered NO MIDDLE GROUND HERE YOU EITHET AGAINAT BENZOS OR NOT ALOT OF OLD TIMERS SAYING 3 OR 4 WEEKS IS OK LOL THERES PLENTY OF PEOPLE SUFFERING JUST FROM ER USAGE
"Long covid."
The symptoms overlap with rabies
Can you explain it plz..
Benzodiazepines are going nowhere get used to it benzo bashing
You will immediately change your tune once you've been injured by them. It is an evil unparalleled.
They will be removed from the market.. I hope you get used to that.
@@zachbartok3676I don’t think they’re gonna be removed. Just like Ozempic, Wagovy and Mounjaro. All dangerous drugs but they make so much money. Big Pharma is the devil incarnate.
@@zachbartok3676 I sure hope so. Nobody should be taking them. It goes bad way too fast and horribly so
It literally feels like you are in a demonic hell, whether you believe in hell or demons or not