I grew up in an emotionally abusive family - the extended family and also my parents marriage was toxic. I told Myself I would never marry a man like my father but I did - even though my partner was white / calmest man on earth - in the end he was as abusive and emotionally absent as my dad. Pls can you do a podcast on the impact of emotional abuse growing up on adult relationships later on? Thanks for these podcasts.
I came a toxic, controlling, emotional abusive,physical, mental abusive, narcissistic family. It took until 48 yrs to leave. I have decided to have no contact with my so called family. I have started which video like this to help me. I doing hypnosis, meditation, journling, I would like to find a therapist who treat toxic,narcissistic toxic narcissistic family. What do you recommend
We have years of experience working with narcissistic personalities and family systems. Please reach out to learn how we can help. Our contact info can be found in the description below.
If a Narcissist isn't capable of feeling empathy, like my ex husband - how can he 'feel any love towards his children?' (From having affairs from multiple women.) These illegitimate children are doomed!
Even though they are psychologists and therapists and I don't agree with their worldview, terms, definitions, and approach to change, the important takeaway from a Christian worldview is discerning or recognizing consequences of sin on others and ourselves . How Biblical counselors would differ with them is Biblical counselors would describe sin and its consequences as God describes it, and Biblical counselors would address sin, reconciliation, proper thinking, proper behavior, etc... very differently than Christian psychologists. The how and why for Biblical counselors is based on what God says and not what a bunch of non Christian psychologists think ("walk not in the counsel of the ungodly") . Keep in mind, there are scores of major differences and literally hundreds of small differing psychological views on how to get people to change, and its based on their opinions of what they think is best. Whereas Biblical counselors are supposed to use the Bible as the standard of truth and God's will for our (Christian) lives that we are to conform to. Most psychologists miss the fundamental principle of doing everything for the glory of God according to His Will. If you don't talk about this primary principle, then you aren't following it. You can't give God proper glory and credit if you don't acknowledge Him regularly, and these psychologists don't talk about God and His Will because they deal with a lot of non Christians and Biblical counseling presumes a person has the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin and empower them to love as Christ does. And non Christians can't sustain repentance and love like a Christian can because they don't have the Holy Spirit. Are these psychologists needed? Absolutely! Non Christians need help, but they need the Gospel message about Jesus atonement for their sin and the freedom from the chains of sin that non Christians will never be able to fully break away from. So, without the Gospel, non Christians sin can be managed somewhat but never remedied with psychology or therapy. Non Christians will always need therapy as long as the chains of sin are binding because they will always fall back into sin and bad thinking. There has to be a change of heart, and these therapists and psychologists will never be able to do that apart from the Gospel. And even if they were Christian, they may lose licensing if they present the Gospel to some people.
The abusive Christian church I was raised in had this same view of mental health and psychology. Looking back I now know these “Biblical counselors” enabled and helped protect the very breeding ground that created a culture of codependency and narcissism. These institutions become safe places to hide in plain site. But that was just the first 30 years of my life. I’m sure I was the only one.
@@DrPhilGoode the problem of sin is prevalent without and within the church. Just because people don't apply God's instructions properly, that doesn't mean you abandon God's instructions and methods. You are not the only one... Sarcasm noted and appreciated. Most suffer in churches from leaders not doing what they are supposed to do at some point in time and to some degree. I personally have suffered with almost a dozen pastors and counselors failing to administer Biblical discipline which enables the sinner and hurts everyone. If you apply the same scrutiny to psychological and integrated counseling, I expect to find far worse results and fewer success stories. The point of the original post is to discern and note that Biblical counseling is not going to help non Christians as they dont believe it nor are willing to conform to Godly behavior for sustained periods. And psychology is not appropriate for the Christian to change behavior as a horticulturist is not appropriate for veterinary medicine. Psychology and the baton are better suited to manage the behavior of non Christian's, but lasting change in the lost is like a blind squirrel finding a nut.... it sometimes happens.
@@sonnyh9774 Psychology is the study of brain functions, behaviors, emotions, personality etc… A psychologist (naturally) has gained the appropriate knowledge and understanding that is required to be a leading voice in the field in which he studied. There are many specific fields of psychology, as there are many specific fields of medicine. Hopefully we both can at least agree up to this point. The reason a non believer, or believer, would seek out professional guidance, and/or self education in the field of psychology, is to change their own behavior. Up to this point, does my assessment correctly reflect your understanding and current view?
@@DrPhilGoode psychologists learn from a designed curriculum to push or achieve the agenda or personal opinions of the authors. In behavioral psychology, there are numerous differing opinions of how to change behavior, and many of the founders of these methods have serious moral shortcomings and sexual fetishes that have progressively been "normalized" such as homosexuality and pedophilia. Some of these founders have been occultist of varying degrees. The source of the methodology is important as is the worldview rationale that is used to develop and apply it. The Bible clearly says walk not in the counsel of the ungodly as it is clearly dangerous and susceptible to corruption which would probably lead to counsel and treatment that would waste time and possibly do more damage than good. Your context was for non Christian's, so there is going to be some useful treatment from psychology, but it will be trial and error with so many different opinions and methods. Modern psychology does not recognize that people are basically bad as in having a wicked heart, so the diagnosis and solution will be off to varying degrees from the start. If you fail to recognize the source of evil; where it came from; and what to do about it, then there will be serious problems with counsel and treatment. I do believe psychological research and studies can be very useful in understanding physical and mental health, but applying the information is where I take my main issue. So , no, I don't agree with what you've said thus far that psychologists are adequately trained or learned .... as a general rule.
Great insight on how to help my kids effectively. Thank you!!
I grew up in an emotionally abusive family - the extended family and also my parents marriage was toxic. I told
Myself I would never marry a man like my father but I did - even though my partner was white / calmest man on earth - in the end he was as abusive and emotionally absent as my dad. Pls can you do a podcast on the impact of emotional abuse growing up on adult relationships later on? Thanks for these podcasts.
I came a toxic, controlling, emotional abusive,physical, mental abusive, narcissistic family. It took until 48 yrs to leave. I have decided to have no contact with my so called family. I have started which video like this to help me. I doing hypnosis, meditation, journling, I would like to find a therapist who treat toxic,narcissistic toxic narcissistic family. What do you recommend
We have years of experience working with narcissistic personalities and family systems. Please reach out to learn how we can help. Our contact info can be found in the description below.
17h41 is there a book with these info? Name? Writer?
It's not acting out. It is acting up.
If a Narcissist isn't capable of feeling empathy, like my ex husband - how can he 'feel any love towards his children?' (From having affairs from multiple women.) These illegitimate children are doomed!
They are capable of feeling empathy. Not everyone is born with empathy, but it is a skill that can be learned and developed with practice.
If their Mom's have anything together at all, it might be a possibility. Ya never know.
But, he won't be any help.
Even though they are psychologists and therapists and I don't agree with their worldview, terms, definitions, and approach to change, the important takeaway from a Christian worldview is discerning or recognizing consequences of sin on others and ourselves . How Biblical counselors would differ with them is Biblical counselors would describe sin and its consequences as God describes it, and Biblical counselors would address sin, reconciliation, proper thinking, proper behavior, etc... very differently than Christian psychologists. The how and why for Biblical counselors is based on what God says and not what a bunch of non Christian psychologists think ("walk not in the counsel of the ungodly") . Keep in mind, there are scores of major differences and literally hundreds of small differing psychological views on how to get people to change, and its based on their opinions of what they think is best. Whereas Biblical counselors are supposed to use the Bible as the standard of truth and God's will for our (Christian) lives that we are to conform to. Most psychologists miss the fundamental principle of doing everything for the glory of God according to His Will. If you don't talk about this primary principle, then you aren't following it. You can't give God proper glory and credit if you don't acknowledge Him regularly, and these psychologists don't talk about God and His Will because they deal with a lot of non Christians and Biblical counseling presumes a person has the Holy Spirit to convict them of sin and empower them to love as Christ does. And non Christians can't sustain repentance and love like a Christian can because they don't have the Holy Spirit. Are these psychologists needed? Absolutely! Non Christians need help, but they need the Gospel message about Jesus atonement for their sin and the freedom from the chains of sin that non Christians will never be able to fully break away from. So, without the Gospel, non Christians sin can be managed somewhat but never remedied with psychology or therapy. Non Christians will always need therapy as long as the chains of sin are binding because they will always fall back into sin and bad thinking. There has to be a change of heart, and these therapists and psychologists will never be able to do that apart from the Gospel. And even if they were Christian, they may lose licensing if they present the Gospel to some people.
Thanks for sharing your perspective on the 2 different frameworks for transformation.
The abusive Christian church I was raised in had this same view of mental health and psychology. Looking back I now know these “Biblical counselors” enabled and helped protect the very breeding ground that created a culture of codependency and narcissism. These institutions become safe places to hide in plain site. But that was just the first 30 years of my life. I’m sure I was the only one.
@@DrPhilGoode the problem of sin is prevalent without and within the church. Just because people don't apply God's instructions properly, that doesn't mean you abandon God's instructions and methods. You are not the only one... Sarcasm noted and appreciated. Most suffer in churches from leaders not doing what they are supposed to do at some point in time and to some degree. I personally have suffered with almost a dozen pastors and counselors failing to administer Biblical discipline which enables the sinner and hurts everyone.
If you apply the same scrutiny to psychological and integrated counseling, I expect to find far worse results and fewer success stories.
The point of the original post is to discern and note that Biblical counseling is not going to help non Christians as they dont believe it nor are willing to conform to Godly behavior for sustained periods. And psychology is not appropriate for the Christian to change behavior as a horticulturist is not appropriate for veterinary medicine. Psychology and the baton are better suited to manage the behavior of non Christian's, but lasting change in the lost is like a blind squirrel finding a nut.... it sometimes happens.
@@sonnyh9774 Psychology is the study of brain functions, behaviors, emotions, personality etc…
A psychologist (naturally) has gained the appropriate knowledge and understanding that is required to be a leading voice in the field in which he studied. There are many specific fields of psychology, as there are many specific fields of medicine. Hopefully we both can at least agree up to this point.
The reason a non believer, or believer, would seek out professional guidance, and/or self education in the field of psychology, is to change their own behavior.
Up to this point, does my assessment correctly reflect your understanding and current view?
@@DrPhilGoode psychologists learn from a designed curriculum to push or achieve the agenda or personal opinions of the authors. In behavioral psychology, there are numerous differing opinions of how to change behavior, and many of the founders of these methods have serious moral shortcomings and sexual fetishes that have progressively been "normalized" such as homosexuality and pedophilia. Some of these founders have been occultist of varying degrees. The source of the methodology is important as is the worldview rationale that is used to develop and apply it. The Bible clearly says walk not in the counsel of the ungodly as it is clearly dangerous and susceptible to corruption which would probably lead to counsel and treatment that would waste time and possibly do more damage than good. Your context was for non Christian's, so there is going to be some useful treatment from psychology, but it will be trial and error with so many different opinions and methods. Modern psychology does not recognize that people are basically bad as in having a wicked heart, so the diagnosis and solution will be off to varying degrees from the start. If you fail to recognize the source of evil; where it came from; and what to do about it, then there will be serious problems with counsel and treatment.
I do believe psychological research and studies can be very useful in understanding physical and mental health, but applying the information is where I take my main issue. So , no, I don't agree with what you've said thus far that psychologists are adequately trained or learned .... as a general rule.