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The Physical Symptoms of Emotional Abuse | Dr. David Hawkins
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- Опубликовано: 25 апр 2023
- Episode 17 - Mad.In.Love podcast
Today we are joined by Dr. Tyson Hawkins, a physician and co-author of Dr. David Hawkins’ book “In Sickness and In Health.” And yes, he also happens to be Dr. David Hawkins’ son. The mind body connection is something that we are beginning to understand more about, but we still have a long way to go when it comes to helping patients, both in the doctor’s office and the therapist’s office, connect the dots between a person’s physical and mental/emotional health and how they are intricately related. If you’re in a toxic relationship and are experiencing exhaustion, digestive issues, migraines, chronic pain, and other symptoms, tune in to this enlightening discussion between 3 therapists and 1 physician on the physical impact of emotional stress.
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Dr. Hawkins and his team of experts offer education and professional training as well as treatment for narcissistic and emotional abuse.
🌐 WEBSITE: marriagerecove...
☎️ PHONE: (206) 219-0145
📧 EMAIL: info@marriagerecoverycenter.com
About
The internet is inundated with hyperbole and misinformation about narcissism, leaving many people confused and hopeless. Get the facts about narcissism and emotional abuse from someone who has been researching, writing about and treating narcissism and emotional abuse for over a decade.
Dr. Hawkins is a best-selling author and clinical psychologist with over three decades of experience helping people break unhealthy patterns and build healthier relationships. He is the founder and director of the Marriage Recovery Center and the Emotional Abuse Institute which offers education, training and counseling for people who want to break free of, and heal from, emotional abuse.
Whether the perpetrator of the abuse is your spouse, partner, parent, boss, friend or family member, we offer practical advice for anyone trapped in a toxic, destructive relationship. In addition to narcissism & emotional abuse, topics include covert, reactive, spiritual, secondary, relationship trauma and more.
#emotionalabuse
People are not listening and don’t believe us when we talk about emotional abuse
Sadly, it's not understood or acknowledged as real, and why? Because there's no bruises? The damage and bruising to the heart and soul are equally bad, if not worse.
@@drdavidbhawkins Exactly. But I do have bruising because I fall over all the time. I look as if I have been in a war.
@@laureenanderson3122you have been
i got graves' disease from the constant stress. I got so weak I could barely get up off the floor. The terrible shaking as well. I certainly learned why these relationships are called toxic as it literally poisons you slowly.
Thanks for sharing, hope you are on the path to healing from all of that.
@@drdavidbhawkins I am Thankyou. Your podcasts are very helpful
@@melissahorton9634 I hope you recover your vibrant health Melissa. Great to hear you are on the road to recovery.
God bless!
So sorry. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue 22 years ago. I know it is from my toxic childhood as well as my nightmare 18 year marriage.
I wish you would’ve talked about the memory loss. This has been the most life altering effect I’ve experienced after 17 years of extreme psychological abuse. No one take any of these symptoms seriously and they also assume they must be very mild since they are “just in our heads”. There needs to be some serious brain studies done. We need help and for society to understand so that we can finally get some working resources. Only the super rich can afford a therapist that is trained in proper treatment. If you’re poor, you only get a counselor. Just getting a diagnosis is like trying to get fire from ice.
It's true what you say... I developed a Developmental Brain Injury from a lifetime (I'm 61) of abuse. First in childhood & in marriage. I didn't know it was abuse 😢 I was brainwashed. I woke up in 2020 & began my healing journey... the memory loss is VERY REAL !!
Thank you for emphasizing this point.
I totally agree!!! It is difficult to form new memories in those situations and to access your short-term as well as long-term memory!!!
Memory loss and cognitive function. No wonder it's hard to resist and walk away. These abusers are evil
I can tell you as a woman of emotional neglect and abuse by a passive aggressive covert narcissist it is highly stressful. I have fibromyalgia, and sever depression. Over the years of this marriage I have experienced more and more health issues. It triggers either not eating and losing weight ,or over eating and gaining weight. Development of high blood pressure , high glucose from poor emotional eating, stress, cortisol, inflammation, swelling, chronic fatigue, panic attacks and even developed asthma. I can’t begin to count how many times when my husband has severely emotionally wounded me how I have literally felt my self swallow my heart. I literally felt my soul rip. I felt myself shrink into nothingness. I felt the realization of not having ANY VALUE, BEING SEEN AS HAVING ANY WORTH IN MY LOVED ONES EYES. BEING MADE TO FEEL DEEPLY RESENTED AND HATED. BEING MADE TO FEEL LIKE I WAS DISSOLVING INTO NOTHINGNESS. I FELT LIKE I TURNED INTO A PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR. IT IS EXHAUSTING. YOU GET TO THE POINT OF GIVING UP, LOST HOPE. FEELING LIKE A GHOST IN YOUR HOUSE, OR IN MY CASE REALIZING THAT NOTHING IN YOUR LIFE IS YOURS. IT HAS ALL BEEN TAKEN FROM YOU. I COULDN’T FUNCTION ANY MORE. I WAS LITERALLY DONE, NOTHING LEFT TO GIVE, EXACTLY. EXHAUSTION IS FELT PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND SPIRITUALLY. I WENT FROM BEING CONFIDENT TO HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO CONFIDENCE. MY EMOTIONS COULDN’T STAND ANYMORE. HE WAS LIKE A VAMPIRE BENT ON DESTROYING ME SLOWY. LITERALLY SUCKING THE LIFE RIGHT OUT OF ME . HE WOULD LITERALLY BUILD ME UP TO JERK ME BACK DOWN. IT FELT LIKE IT WAS SPIRTING FOR HIM. LIKE A CAT PLAYING WITH ITS PREY. HE DESTROYED EVERYTHING THAT WAS SPECIAL TO ME. WHENEVER HE WOULD COME INTO THE ROOM AND I HAD TO SPEND TIME AROUND HIM I WOULD FEEL LATER FEEL SO EXHAUSTED . JUST BEING AROUND HIM COULD BE SO DRAINING TOWARD THE END. I BECAME ISOLATED DUE TO ALL OF THIS AND THE DEPRESSION TNAT DEVELOPED WITHIN ME. I DIDNT HAVE THE ENERGY OR MOTIVATION TO LEAVE THE HOUSE.
You described my life. He passed away a couple of months ago and I'm trying to rebuild my life.
After about 8 years of marriage to my abuser, I became clinically depressed, & spent a number of years on antidepressants. I hated how they made me feel, & had 3 children to care for almost completely by myself, so I was weaned off them & used diet, supplements, exercise & scripture + prayer to overcome it. About 12-15 years later, as the abuse intensified, I began to hsve head tremors. My aunt & grandmother had had essential tremor in their hands, so that was my Dr’s diagnosis. I later developed symptoms of CPTSD, such as intense startle reflex, sensitivity to loud noises (my abuser is an incredibly loud person), inability to sleep when he was home, constant fight-flight-fright, inability to process input, especially regarding finances because he would push so hard. Physical, mental & emotional exhaustion and anxiety. Memory lapses, a number of emotional triggers, which brought more yelling, anger & abuse, & accusations thst I was mentally ill. I knew I was not, & even told him it was the way he treated me that caused those things, which just enraged him more. As soon as he left, (& divorced me) all those things began to resolve, & after 12-14 months of good work, I am profoundly healed & at peace & enjoying my new life. I am so thankful God rescued me!
So glad to hear you are healing. Thanks for sharing your redemption story
This is uplifting. Thank you for posting
You are so brave. I am so glad you found God. He is our refuge ☺
I must say it’s so utterly heartbreaking when I read all the comments understanding that men are meant to represent Christ to their wives in the way He loves His church. I know no man is perfect but what kind of an epidemic are we in when there is just way too many numbers of abusive men?! What are we as a society doing wrong to produce this kind of male ???
I suffered a heart attack, flatlined 3x. I left my narc. He wanted freedom to do his thing. (Porn)
Well he is getting his wish. I refuse to believe God gave me this time to tolerate that demon.
It hurts But I'm FREE. God got me!
Yes, it takes courage to do what's right for you and if often does hurt before it gets better.
God Blessed You! He blessed me to because We were strong enough to walk away
When I met my abuser I would eat balanced and work out. I was at a very very healthy weight and I had a very nice body. Over time I stopped all of that remember saying I’m dead ( inside) and I would get my joy and pleasure from food. I became extremely over weight
Everyone has different ways of coping. In order to truly heal, we must confront the problems, not cope with them
Me too
Me too.
Ditto
I experienced PTSD, panic attacks, poor immune system, broken heart syndrome, adrenal fatigue. I'm healing now and getting stronger physically and emotionally. I don't think I could have survived had I not left that narcissistic relationship when I did.
Glad you are in a better place now and hope you have found healing.
I relate to those symptoms. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are experiencing and finding healing, as well. ✨💙
I relate to your symptoms too minus a couple, but plus two auto-immune diseases, IBS and lichen sclerosis. Thanks for posting.
Yes! I had adrenal fatigue!
That's me currently & trying no contact again...hard to move elsewhere when on a very tight budget and having 12 different health issues at once
I had never had UTI or bladder infections, ever, until I was about 3 years into an abusive relationship. I had sinus infections, up to sepsis, blood infection and in the hospital. I now have high blood pressure. I have been three years out, and two years no contact. I have teletherapy for a year now. My mind was mush and am getting back to healthier now. No more bladder infections. I felt as if I aged fast during the 7 years.
Glad to hear you are on your way back to health.
I feel that way too! Like I've aged more than I should have. I have also been in grad school which has been very stressful and played a part. Only a few more months of that then hopefully a lot of those stress symptoms will go away.
I have chronic fatigue, muscle and joint aches, headaches, panic attacks. Depression as well. I’m in constant fight or flight mode. I have brain fog and forget things a lot.
Thanks for joining the conversation. Yes, these are all symptoms of PTSD. Hope you're getting help for your emotional as well as physical pain.
I’m in my second abusive marriage and actually we are still living together for 38 yrs now and the physical toll that the verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse has taken a huge toll on my body with depression, anxiety and I startle so much easier now of course due to his ranting and raging and I can definitely attest to it narcissist get absolutely worse as they age. He is 71 now. But mostly due to my faith and following my Savior Jesus Christ and Facebook support groups and you tube videos such as yours it all is really so immensely helpful But yes i definitely have days of no hope! Thank you for your videos so very much 💕
You're very welcome and hope you are finding ways to create emotional safety and heal. Here's a video you may find helpful: ruclips.net/video/u9XkQuHLEJY/видео.html Hope for Victims of Emotional Abuse
Thank you so much 🙏 for this helpful information,I was invisible 😭😔😭😔 for more then 40years, people adore my husband,but no one knows what happened behinds close doors,I do have 4broken children,the environment shapes a child, church just say women must just submit,my husband end up incarcerated for rape , celebrity his 60birthday in prison,he is a child in a man body,I could works on my healing path for almost 10years now,but my mother was an narcissist.....a was a broken child,we met when I was 17years old,I really love this man,I am 62years old,thank for helping marriages and families.....may God blessed you Dr Hawkins.... only now knows his childhood was severely dysfunctional ,his only going into therapy in prison now,his gonna be 63years this year, because he needs healing..... Mental illness, narcissist disorder....
I completely understand and I am so sorry for your hurt and pain that narcissist abuse has caused you!😭😔💔 love and prayers to you!💝
Ugh, I'm sorry for what you have been through. I have been married about 7 years and everything was great the first year or two but the last several have been really hard with so many argument and so much conflict. It's been stressful and disruptive and caused me not to get enough sleep due to being up all night from arguing and caused problems. But he just started getting really critical all the time and won't look at anything he is doing or his fault in things, just blames it on me. He's like a child too, no awareness of his issue or willing to look at anything.
I left after 20 years even with epilepsy. Best decision I’ve ever made
Coercive control always kills.
About 16 years into my marriage, I went to my doctor and said that I was having trouble sleeping, I was depressed and felt anxious. I also said I was in a bad marriage. The doctor prescribed an anti-depresant, an anti-anxiety medication and sleeping pills. I had some idea that my health issues were caused by my marriage, but it didn't become crystal clear until the mental abuse became a daily experience.
Over 17 years they said it was fybromyalgia... but It was actually a very serious debilitating auto immune called ankylosing spondylosis. Very debilitating and degenerative and considered one of the most painful diseases you can have. There are deeper more problematic diseases we can get.. even for example.. liver cancer.... unexpected anger stores itself up in the liver. ... or even diseases like mine..and MS... my husband didn't even research or ask about my diagnosis once I got it...I had been extremely ill and he would walk right past me everyday and not care. ..2 years into it he didn't even know the name of the disease or what it actually does to me. Even though I've told him before
Yes- I have a rare pituitary disorder- if not medicated I get full blown tired- fog- low blood pressure- blood sugar disorders- menstrual changes- and yes mood swings with all this- yet 17 yrs in my husband still does not get it. Yet I get to hear all about excuses from other family who cannot help with events due to not feeling good. That and his stonewalling- makes it worse. I am on the fence if leaving.
1 year into my 2nd narcissistic relationship, my current marriage, I developed Hashimotos, chronic fatigue, deep depression, nail psoriasis, and lost half of my hair. Later, at the 5 year mark I started having crippling anxiety and panic attacks any time he was home or coming into a room. I could no longer sleep next to him, not that he did anyway, only if he wanted sex of course. I had to tell him I couldn’t sleep next to him. He witnessed my panic attacks so he knew it was true, didn’t care one bit either. Just gas lit me even more and went into a selfish rage for “depriving him of his role as a lover”. Lol wow.. can’t get more selfish than that.
A few months ago I finally realized what this was and that this was abuse. I lost my identity completely. No longer knew who I was and what I like, what makes me happy, what music I like. He dominated everything…leaving no space for me to exist.
Learning this information is changing my entire life. I had an abusive childhood which turned into an abusive adulthood. For the first time in my life I’m realizing so much and that I’ve never felt safe or loved, or accepted by another person without me having to sacrifice myself.
Honestly I’ve never been so excited for my future, I have the knowledge and the tools I need to finally create the life I’ve always wanted and deserved. Now I just need to break free and get on with my life😊❤
Knowledge is power, and the knowledge you have gained is going to empower you to create the life you want and deserve. We are excited for your beautiful future also. Thanks for sharing.
Prayers for a complete healing 🙏☝️🙏☝️🙏☝️
May GOD bless you by helping you get out of your marriage and by helping you heal!!! I hope that you will find someone who is healthy and who will take care of you and be there for you without any abuse! Such people are rare but they do exist! 🤗
What your mind can’t handle your body will. And that is not good
I talk about my emotional abuse, by my mother a lot. I get attacked regularly for not loving my mother. Because as far as "normal" people are concerned I *should* love my mother !
I didn't grow up with my mom. When I spent time with her, she would physically abuse me. So, when I was a teenager (I'm now approaching 60), I felt kind of guilty for not feeling the admiration and closeness that my female friends gelt for their moms. My aunt from my father's side sent me to a psychologist who clarified for me that my behavior was normal. The bond between a mother and child is not automatic; it's created by living together having a nurturing relationship. That being said, you can have peace in your heart by forgiving and setting boundaries to protect yourself. May God give you you the healing you need. Blessings!
I know. Yeah, me too. My name is mud among some people because I don’t go visit my mother who is in a nursing home because of her own choices regarding her health.She is in an excellent facility and well cared for there. I do love her, actually, but I have my own serious health conditions and my living situation has been very precarious due to being disabled and living on disability. My ex fiancé was emotionally and psychologically abusive, and he left me a couple years ago with no warning in an apartment we lived in together which I couldn’t afford. Right now I’m living in a house that is an extension of a homeless shelter and I ride a bike. However, no one considers what I’m going through and all they care about is her. They’re not even taking any of that into account when they form an opinion about me, and subsequently spread rumors about me.
Hey I get you! My so called mom is a horrible abusive person and sometimes people have not taken me seriously or said things like that’s your MOTHER! She tried to destroy me but the older she gets more and more people are seeing exactly what have I been speaking of though their own dealings with her. She can no longer hide it. Although I can’t blame her and my father for all my health problems I know I carry so much trauma from being raised and beyond by them. It has had a huge impact and I fight every day to distance myself and eliminate stress as I’m no longer young. God Bless!
@fibrowarriors I hear you, my mother is an undiagnosed covert narcissist, it took me way more than a decade to get to the point of being able to start seeing for myself when I am being manipulated.
It is definitely one of the most hurtful things if your own mother has you on a roller coaster of emotions of up and down in succession and never knowing which side of her you are going to meet with next.
There are so many things I can mention but the worst is that it breaks you down as person, physically, mentally and had an effect on your spiritual life as well.
I feel your pain, most think you are ungrateful or have a lack of insight and empathy for your mother if dare say something so I started drawing back from these individuals and started surrounding myself with people with whom my dealings have a more positive effect.on my general health.
You don't have to love your mother, but SHE has to love you.
❤ Family toxicity too,
not only marriages.❤
Thank you for this comment! People don't mention toxic family members enough in these situations, and they can do just as much damage as an abusive spouse!
I'm a patient of Tyson Hawkins and First would like to say he the best Doctor, he takes the time to listen and go out and beyound for his patients. I'm a prefect person for your topic. I have always been a very strong person and my relationship with my husband has took me down to being so unhealthy and just wornout and exhausted that it brought on allot of medical issues for me. But Dr Hawkins words to me really opened up my eyes on this and I'm so grateful.
I was in abusive relationship 💔😞, but had no family support ,had 4small children,did work long hours, stressful 😞 I was a nervous rack, for me it becomes normal, only after 30years ,went through separated,now 10 years separated, realised it was unhealthy really take toll on my microbial,and gut,I am 62years and children are all grewup,I look back, with this information ℹ️ very helpful,I was overweight,had chronic fatigue,panic attack 😔,but after my separated,I am relieved 😌
Glad to hear you have relief and can now focus on your healing. Thanks for sharing.
I really appreciate this discussion. I’ve only been with my wife who is a vulnerable narcissist and a catastrophic thinker for 2.5 years, but dealing with the emotional abuse is debilitating. I get to the point in our conversations where I’m so overwhelmed with psychological exhaustion that I nearly pass out. The second point that I would like to make, off-topic a bit is I would really appreciate it if these discussions simply mentioned that women can be narcissists and can also abuse men. I’m no psychologist, but it would seem to make sense that the vulnerable narcissists are usually women. Maybe I’m wrong. But what I go through is unimaginable for most people.
2😢NC gw
2g
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what is called covert narcissist is introvert narcissist and grandios narcissist is extravert narcissist both types of narcissisme is found in both genders
Did you watch the Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard trial? Johnny Depp was so courageous to raise awareness of men being victims of narcissistic abuse and domestic violence. Many of the psychologists and witnesses at the trial were fascinating. PS - I am a woman, big fan of Johnny but educate myself because my dad is a grandiose NPD and now I can finally make sense of his behaviour but moved to Europe and went No Contact almost 20 years ago.
@@firehorse9996 no i did not
My wife is a covert narcissist I've been with her for 14yrs my physical health has deteriorated immensely my body is infamed 24/7 in chronic excruciating pain on top of rhe mental and emotional anguish....we've been separated for 4yrs now but I'm still in very rough shape
The first 5 years of my marriage, I was getting very bad migraines. Clusters. I would get them every couple of weeks. They stopped when I had my son. Why? Because now all attention went to him and off of my ex. I did not realize the connection until this year.
This is so true ! Besides being 56 with hormones changing, when my husband would leave town this past year or so for work. I sleep for the first day . The rest of his trip of 2-3 weeks I’m rested , calm , happy, energetic and start thinking clearly again. Then once He’s home I’m shut down again. Unfortunately I don’t have the means financially to leave. So death will be my way out one day .
Sorry for u and me _ go for long walks and enjoy nature _ as long as u are" present" and not unconscious like the narc_ your happy_ just don't let the narc know u are happy _ they want u miserable_ that makes them happy_ bizarre but true_ they are unconscious_ whisper in their ear at night that he thinks he's compassionate_ brainwash his unconscious for compassion_ it works_ at least u will have peace_ it's a dog that needs training_ best of luck
It's not easy or simple, but it sounds like you need to figure out how to create some mental space from him even when he is home.
After reading your comment, I really want to encourage you to look up Leslie Vernick. She can really help you to see that you are a separate person from him and very valuable. God cares very much for you! I also understand your experience. One of my physical symptoms was diarroea. Now that we are separated, that has gone. I always sort of knew it was connected, but not what to do about it. Enter boundaries and self worth.
The sense of being able to take a deep breath while they are not around to harm you in any of their ways is very real.
@@drdavidbhawkins yes I do . He won’t respect my boundaries. I’m sleeping in another bedroom, we have property where he can have his own space . I’m at the point of filling divorce papers that are filled out for months now , this week. Then we both loose a home I bought. My soul hurts and needs rest .
@@marywebster5094 ❤
I went from one narcissistic partner to another one. Second one love bombed me, and I'd never encountered that before, so I didn't know the signs. I'm currently trying to get out of this relationship. Like you spoke of, I have insomnia, exhaustion, fibromyalgia, and more. I was seeing a psychiatrist he prescribed anti depressants. At one visit he asked me "what do you want me to do for you"? I told him "I don't know what you can do for me" as in, what are the options so he increased my antidepressants and discarded me from his care. Why ask someone who's in a state of turmoil what they want you to do for them? I didn't know what day of the week it was, much less what treatment I wanted or needed. All I could say to him was "make me feel better".
If you can, get in touch with a Functional medicine practitioner. They are real doctors and nurse practitioners, PAs and RNs. They will help with the fibro, brain fog, adrenal insufficiency. God bless you and I hope that you can leave or that he will leave you. I am sooo sorry you are in this situation. Been there before. It is horrible and constant whiplash.
@drina4706 Thank you. I'm not in the states so don't know if we have these services available but I'll look into it. Thank you again.
I’m in the exact same position. You sound like you are describing my life. I didn’t have time to heal from my first toxic marriage of 32 years and my present husband love bombed me. I never knew that was a thing! I’m 5 years into this relationship and he flip flops from dr. Jekyl and Mr Hyde! I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and extreme fatigue two years ago. I just want to tell you @auzzygirl8175 that I am so sorry that you are going through this torture and hurt. Get out while you can.
My Dr. Prescribed antidepressants when I had one of my breakdowns at my appointment. Took them for awhile and slowly took less and now none. Left my home of 32 years and a 42 year toxic marriage. Can’t even begin to tell you what all happened after his first affair in 2003 and the again in 2019. And who knows how many others I didn’t know about. Divorced now. Gone no contact. Still have a cry everyday. It’s shocking how all of this happened. A therapist told me that there is mental illness with him and the married Woman he is cheating with. Yea I get tired now so easy. Slowly healing. Painful difficult journey. Making it because I trust God. He carried me through and had friends pray with me.🙏❤️✝️
Ive been going through this for ten years now and have developed out of nowhere an allergic reaction to gold. I have panic attacks now and can feel my blood presure rising at times to where I shake. This has been enlightening for me thank you.
It's all inter-related - our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. So glad you found it helpful and hope you are pursuing healing
@drdavidbhawkins I finally am and thank you ♥️
My narcissistic husband has exasperated The Hot Flashes to wear their unbearable at times, I also get perfused diarrhea. Right now I am temporarily separated from him and doing better.
After taking care of family members in hospice situations, it was so easy to find tremendous loss of energy and purpose. Today’s broadcast has been very helpful! Thank you!
So glad you found it helpful, thanks for your feedback.
@@drdavidbhawkinsloop
25:31 yesss!!! Triaged approach between providers when investigating a health issue is the way to go to provide holistic treatment 🙌🏽
After my narcissist husband discarded me the damaged was already too late. I already knew that I struggled with depression and anxiety and I kept having flashbacks of the abuse found out that I had PTSD AND irritable bowel syndrome anti-inflammatory disorders arthritis in my spine and hips nerve disorder and other health conditions from narcissistic abuse....
They will destroy you and they mean too!!!!
I was diagnosed with liver cancer five years ago. Thought I beat it. I didn't leave in time and now it's back and spread to the bile ducts. I told him last year I wanted a divorce, he turned the church against me. It was my fault. Now I'm fighting for my life, once again.
Doctor's should ask more about what is going on in Our lives. Within months of meeting My husband of 30 years, I became physically ill and permanently disabled. I was sexually abused as a child from age 5-13 from a family member. I have Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Chronic Pain and Chronic fatigue, Neuropathy in My legs and feet, venous insufficiently disease, panic attacks and anxiety have been a problem all My life. Its never ending. I'm 5'6" and down to 98 lbs. I can see My bones sticking out. I am always exhausted!!
You mentioned psycho somatic disorders, I was told that by a Doctor at age 7. My mother just said, its in your head. I was devastated hearing this. What I was feeling was REAL!! I'm 61, Doctor's didn't understand this back then. But, none of My Doctor's inquire about My weight or what I am going through in My life. I've been in a narcissistic marriage for 30 years. He sexually abused Me and emotionally abused Me. I might be a healthy person if I had a Doctor who cared enough to talk to Me. This i😮s an epidemic! I'm glad I have Jesus in My life now. But I still need help to heal. 😢
How do you get out? No money, cant work due to multiple health conditions, no support system, no transportation. Multiple calls to womens shelters, crisis hotlines, and hospitals...no one is taking me seriously. I feel hopeless that there's no way out.
There are many people who are in similar situations and cannot just leave for various reasons. In this case, you have to create an emotional and mental separation so you can heal. Here are some videos to get you to start thinking about how to heal: Healing From Emotional Abuse playlist:
ruclips.net/p/PLzb_gedZa6y5VGEhh3V4Qt_Ksb0CNFdIz
Can you stay at a women's or homeless shelter and get on Medicaid?
B-12 deficiency and iron deficiency and the psychosomatic symptoms that come with having a mineral deficiency are, for me, closely related to stress. For example, I become very sensitive to sound when I have a mineral deficiency.
I find it hard to deal with my doctor's insistence that it was two separate disorders, rather than seeing it as two sides of the same coin.
Due to a childhood ruined by emotional abuse, by my mother. I have Fibromyalgia, ME CPTSD and many other illnesses (for 42 years). I have chronic intractable pain, and it's a nightmare to live with 😢
I'm so sorry for your suffering.
me too
@@kaylaschroeder1 Thank you for your kindness ❤️
@@thereseschab5042 Thank you ❤️
@@fibrowarriors You're most welcome. It's truly incredible how much emotional abuse affects us at the deepest levels, sometimes even down into our muscles and bones. I hope you are able to find healing and levels of relief, to free yourself from this long-term horrible suffering.
I had reoccurring UTI and a severe bought with Uveitis- I was losing my sight in my right eye. They did every test imaginable on me. Kept asking me for family history of autoimmune etc. No one in my family and all the tests came back normal. Finally, my eye doctor asked me: how are things at home?
The stress that I was under was epic. It was a remarriage- blended family- and he HATED my children and I adored his- all the kids got along etc.
I didn’t know what a narcissist even was, at the time, but he was a low key monster to my twin boys. The nights were the worst.
When I finally realized it “wasn’t all in my head” as he would tell me, I made a plan and got out. I will spend the rest of my life trying to help my kids heal from that five years of abuse. (So you know, it wasn’t physical, but cruel emotional abuse to my children and making me feel like a horrible mother.)
He knew being a good mom was the most important thing in my life and capitalized on it. Monster.
We are praying for healing for all of you, thanks for sharing
There are times when people (like me) talk to my doctor about what's going on and she said she couldn't help me. I think a good doctor would listen and do what they can. Maybe she really wasn't able to help me.
I end up with psoriasis and psoriasic arthritis, asthma,thyroid, IBS,depression problems because all stress of living in a toxic narcissistic family.😢
The six weeks leading up to leaving I had an almost constant asthma attack. The second night after I left it stopped. I still get a bad cold, cold sores and asthma if I have dealings with him as we move toward divorce. It is easy to tell myself to relax but hard to do, even though listening to worship. Stress seems to have a voice to make my body react that I often do not notice.
Complex PTSD, IBS, Hypervigelance, Anxiety, Adrenal fatigue on and on. So many eggshells to walk on in hopes of keeping them "fixed".
Ive been anused emotionally everyday of my life _ if you write things down u can remember _the lack of emotional resonance turns off the hippo.
Afflicted with Parkinson's disease. Medically labelled as idiopathic, but I have come to realise that slowly but surely this affliction found is way into my life
27 years into this damn marriage and I am on anti anxiety and anti depressants. Suffering from lickens sclerosis due to autoimmune disease due to high stress levels.
Sorry to hear this has been your experience. We hope you find healing on all levels. Here are some videos that we hope will help you take some first steps towards healing:
Hope for Victims of Emotional Abuse
ruclips.net/video/u9XkQuHLEJY/видео.html
Break Free of Emotional Abuse and Heal: ruclips.net/video/u9XkQuHLEJY/видео.html
Finding Healing
ruclips.net/video/I5N5t_mQiTA/видео.html
Going through narcissist abuse will destroy you our bodies and mind was not made to take it
I am overly exhausted and my nurse practitioner is aware of narcissistic abuse and like mental and emotional abuse can do to a person and I think it takes someone who has or is going through narcissist abuse to be able to understand what narcissist abuse can do to a person...
But yes I agree with what you all are explaining and talking about because most doctors don't get it!
I appreciate you all!..❤
My son got cancer, high blood pressure and insulin resistance besides depression and anxiety from 30 years of abuse. He has fibromyalgia symptoms and neuropathy from the chemotherapy. He has skin issues when he is stressed as well..
I also have Fibromyalgia & ME. I hope the doctor wont mind me saying I have a RUclips channel. Your son is most welcome to join us. CJ 🇬🇧
My life is a confusing mess, taken from my dad when my mom found a new man (narcissist) which my mom also narcissistic, across country when i was 5, quickly chanced my last name. I was always told he didnt want me , he was a partier who didnt want the responsibility.
40 years later i found my real dad who told me a completely different version. I was never appreciated, or seen, i felt kind of like cinderella most of my life. Raised An only child , all focus was always on what i did wrong. I was dropped out of high school to work for his company, which is just more of the same. Hyperfocused on my mistakes but my efforts are ignored. I have scoliosis which is idiopathic and i wonder if they are connected somehow. Im stuck in a narcissistic relationship as we speak. Im surrounded by these people. Ugh I could go on and on . These videos are helping me mentally unwind this mess i was put into . All i can say is Thank you for putting this out there.
It's not fatigue which comes from the French word for tiredness, Fatigué! It's utter exhaustion!!! My HPA axis was screwed up and I had secondary adrenal insufficiency from a lot of emotional stress and trauma. I also developed FMS over 20 yrs. ago and have autoimmune disorders. We are not made for chronic high stress!!! Our Adrenal glands and Hypothalamus as well as other organs including the whole brain, "short out"!!! Please ask your patients to get tested for adrenal insufficiency and steer them towards a Functional Medicine Practitioner!!! That is soooo sooooo important!!!
Thanks for sharing your insight with others.
Ok, so i have a lot to input here both personally and professionallly (i sit kind of half way between the medical physical side and the emotional mental health side), however, what I believe is happening when trying to explain the connection between the two and managing the issues, is rooted in educational bias and lack of professional crossovers. I found doctors and nurses well educated and informed - naturally, but no time or skill set to address the emotional dynamics that underpin the physical, but similararily - I found psychologists and counselors (quite baffelingly), frequently ignorant in physiology, biology, the mechanisms of disease and their processes, and in turn how the physical symptoms they live with compound and complicate their emotional health. Phsychologists so often wanted to separate out the two as they are not educated enough in that area, or recieved poor grounding at university in biological physiology or disease etiology. However, condensing an entire books worth of knowledge, two main players are at the heart of it all. First is the biological energy economy in the body - if the body is under severe emotional stress, it prioritises energy to fight or flight, not digestion, the immune system, - the need for good balanced neurotransmitter production for mental health gets stolen to work to respond to stress. The brain becomes therefore tired, it struggles to produce enough energy to wake up, manage the sympathetic and para sympathetic system accordingly etc etc. Then they complain of poor sleep. Then secondly, as to what specific diseases people, mostly women, what they will develop is first is based (IMHO) their genetic predisposition to disease profile types and constitutions, and the epigenetic changes the stresses in their lives will trigger. ANd then there is how quickly emotionally neglected women seek help for medical issues - which is usualy very long - many studies have found that a male presenting at emergency with the same symptoms as a malle, even witht he same socio economic and professioanl background, be treated more effectively and with less bias than women.
As for exhaustion, there are so many different types of exhaustion and mental and emotional exhaustion leads more quickly to physical exhaustion than the other way around. This is because in part, the brain at any one time consumes or demands up to a third of the total energy at any one time, and if it doesnt get enough it will steal it - for want of a better description - from somewhere else - the immune system, or the glucose regulation, which in turn affects insulin which has a bigger effect on BP via Na/K pumps and electrolyte balances. Now all of this is rather simpllistic, but I dont find any of this a mystery at all, but there is a huge lack of combined medical and psychosocial support and treatment for those suffering long term emotional abuse. You have a great channel and love your content. But I hope this becomes a bigger emerging area in medical circles.
I developed life threatening high blood pressure (a hypertensive crisis) and eventually late stage cancer after abusive narcissistic family ostracized, isolated and shunned me after I stood up for myself after decades of abuse. The smear campaign (lies) destroyed my familial relationships and left me heartbroken and depressed. No one (except 2 of my abusers) called to check on me for more than a decade. I suffered every type of abuse growing up within this family… emotional, physical & sexual abuse. I have struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life. I developed GI issues that never responded to treatment.
My husband is an ex minister and is a counselor he has the classic signs of a covert narcissist abuser. Im suffering, no one understands my suffering I get suicidal at times from the pain. Im exhausted. I was recently diagnosed with Lupus. Its taken its toll on my physical health.
Men are conditioned to 'act out' and women to 'act in'. Generally men can have an issue being upset which leads to anger, they express their emotions in aggressive fashions, and acts against the other.
Women can get just as angry but they turn it into upset, depression and acts against the self.
I learnt this from Pete Walkers' audio book 'CPTSD from surviving to thriving". I got an example of this with a friend just recently who historically 'stuffed' her anger towards a friends hurtful comments.
She would go upstairs and cry and get depressed.
This time she expressed her anger, although quite strongly, by shouting, throwing things and breaking things.
When we had a chat later, I expressed my thoughts that perhaps this was a step forward and it was good to feel the anger that was being generated by the hurtful comments, and to express it.
We had discussions about how better to express her feelings, and also to see the correlation between her friends' behaviour, who 'acts out' verbally, which she really doesn't like.
What about male andropause?? My husband started testosterone and it got way too high. He became very critical and irritable which has been really hard on us and I suspect it was from the T. He also became MUCH hungrier. Always wants a meal, and a BIG meal, expects me to cook for him all the time when I am really busy, he is a grown man and is able to cook. Plus he makes male chauvinstic comments about me cooking for him that I find offensive and hurtful. I asked him to get a blood glucose test but he got mad and it was another bad argument. He said he eats a lot bc his job is physical. Well he's always had hte same job but never ate this much before so I suspect the T has affected his blood sugar, and his mother has diabetes. So I was worried about pre-diabetes. I've talked to him about his behaviors soooso many times but they just continue, or he blames me for everything. Can't have a conversation about anything or resolve stuff bc it's always my fault and if I would 'just apologize' everything would be 'fine.' I gave him an ultimatum yesterday, took down all our pictures and said I wanted to separation. I sure don't want a divorce but he is saying if we have to separate, he is not coming back and wants a divorce. I can't afford to lose my home and change my son's life. I had to do that before due to a man and swore I would never do that again. I am in school and not working so can't refinance or afford a mortgage, especially with the higher housing costs right now. I want and need stability. He is using less T now but is still acting the same..
I have different type of physical symptoms because of chronic stress and emotional abuse i always trying to get ride of the side effects of emotional abuse because it's combinated with so much more things, some people intentionally try to find out what makes me feel good even in the most difficult stressful situation in a purpose to know how they will prevent me to feel good of course not all the people trying to take advantage of others vulnerabilities for their own benefit or to take revenge because the exact person didnt did what they was want, my mother is abusive but i can't fully blame her because so many people intentionally provoked her that's why she become more abusive and plus the life difficulties....
Some people have issues with her and tried to bother me, years ago i detected so many things...
Later i will delete this comment because if my mom will find out or someone will told her then i will have more issues.
Worth to mention I'm 29 years old.
Some people tried to make my situation more worst when i was told them about my mom and all the situation with details...
I tried to left so many things on the side and detect the real intentions behind it, i mean why they doing it and at the same time being so careful because they dont want anyone understand what they doing but luckily years ago i and some others detected so many things its really hurtful when some people are aware what's going on and they pretending that they are not aware, i think it is very unfair to take advantage of other's vulnerabilities.
Thank you ❤️
My Adrenal glands no longer work, I've been diagnosed with Adrenal Insufficiency/Addison's Disease.
I have to take steroids to replace Cortisol everyday for the rest of my life or die.
After 45+ years of being married to mine, I was under so much stress that the cumulative effect was that the unrelenting years' duress caused glutamate levels to rise, and the continual beating of this glutamate drained, or stole, from my gabba center it's ability to function. I have KPU, a mitochondrial dysfunction that gets worsened by stress. It causes dumping of valuable necessary minerals, B6 and B1 for life and wellness itself. This is only the tip of the iceberg of what i bam dealing with, though a large part.
Why stay 45 years if it's bad. That's a lifetime
So, I have never been accident prone when driving, but since being in my 4 year marriage I've had several car accidents with backing into things. Can mental and verbal abuse cause this to happen? He yelled at me while I was out and when I got home I accidentally backed into one of the underground parking concrete beams denting the rear AGAIN 😞 I dreaded having to tell him. I was crying when he came in and after telling him he exploded accusing me of doing it purposely and telling me how irresponsible, careless, and childish I am. I just feel like if he hadn't already yelled at me while I was out and upset me that this might not have happened.😢 What would your expertise opinion be?
Emotional abuse certainly dpes cause PTSD symptoms.
What you describe rings true for me. I started living separately from my husband in 2010 but I came back to look after him when he had a minor stroke in 2021 (covid year) and then again in 2022 when he got viral pneumonia. I reverted to old symptoms like losing focus during those times. I burned out the bottom of 4 pots in a row while cooking dinners. 😳 I felt like I was losing my mind! And yes, the criticism would come, and since I didn't know what was going on with me, it just added to my misery. He had no concept, and neither did I. Which is why videos like this are so important!! Thank you, panel.
🚩🚩🚩🚩Yelling doing your mistakes isnt good for your well being, and continuous yelling after you began to cry, he has no compassion for/towards you. Big 🚩🚩🚩’s.
Thank you! 😊
I got hashi as a result of all the stress over 23 years.(I divorced when I was 41) It went undiagnosed though until i was in my late 50s/early 60s - fortunately with a whole lifestyle change, i managed to drop some weight and pull back from being pre diabetic. I took u gentle exercisetoo pus hobbies. The mirgraines went too.The depression left, my hair had fallen out (a lot of it) and hasnt grown back. I stll get symptoms, usually inflammatory thngs and i do try and care fornyself (I am 72 nearly) and it has been very very difficult.
I had chronic fatigue, hair loss, insomnia, acid reflux, thought I was having heart attacks, turned out I have a heart valve issue, who knows if that was caused by all the stress. I had a twisted ovary just out of the blue, developed severe endometriosis and had to have two surgeries; the second surgery being a full hysterectomy. These relationships are death chambers!
Same. Chronic fatique, back pain, horrible acid reflux all the way in my throat 24/7, panic attacks….. and now I ended up with severe hypochondria mainly because of the acid reflux.
I’m exhausted and don’t know if I will survive this.
Mental Abuse also causes Tummy Issues.. I've had colonoscopyies and blood work for being tired and suffering from daily diarrhea for over a decade. When I did ipen up with my primary doc she said Your colon is good. There is no visible problems... She said I think your husband is causing the stomach problems and also my cronic fatigue. Past 2yrs I stopped being his supply and Like I hoped he wants a Divorce. I am over joyed.
is it easier to say arise and walk or your sins are forgiven. we are all broken. most of the church teaches people to just shut up about physical pain, stress, exhaustion because most of the church is in denial and incapable of helping. it's all about your best life now..
Yes, it is out of their scope to help these kind of complex issues, and they are also blinded by their theology and institutional biases.
@Dr. David Hawkins just be careful of psycho babble too. the church lost Jesus years ago, and psychology never even knew Him. America is a tragedy on a highway to hell. Best to take a narrow, side road 😀 But the main road does pay much better...lust, pride and deceitfulness.
You should come to my Church. A kinder lot of people you would never find but I live in Australia so I do not know how things work where you are. When we separated, I joined this Church and it is a real blessing. The pastor is so kind and there is nobody that doesn’t welcome you.
Please find a church that reflects the true love and compassion of Jesus Christ. That kind of church is heretical and abusive, and not the way a Biblical church should act or treat people.
Where’s this institute? What would be the steps to releasing physical pain caused by emotional trauma?
I got emotional abuse from family members, after that I got TB disease, have to take anti-TB medications for a year, unfortunately I am still suffering the drug-induced liver fibrosis as the TB drugs. Mental abuse is really horrible even can cause cancer.
After many years doing a very stressful job, I have developed a dysphoria followed by lost of speech. All the physical and neurological tests are negative. It looks like of psychogenic origin. I woder if I recover my language abilities
I have DID and go through the mental hospital like a revolving door
I was obese n had a stroke 3 years ago cause of stress.Stroke was the last draw
Explains my life.
Apparently anger is associated with gall bladder problems. I ended up having to get my gall bladder removed 2 months after finally filing divorce from my narcissistic husband. I had been having gall bladder “attacks” the last year of our marriage when I never had them before. It ended up getting infected. Maybe coincidence, but I think not.
The physical impact of emotions is real. Thanks for sharing
My physical symptoms include exhaustion,hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia ,depression , anxiety, insomnia , nightmares,syringoma, sometimes intestinal problems like ulcer ( fortunately treated) hopeless and inability to trust . By Amelia
I had fibromyalgia and the tiredness disorder!
You use the past tense, so glad to hear you are no longer suffering from those things and hope your emotional health is also better.
Black circles under the eyes due to crying, daily headaches, bad sleep, with insomnia or waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to bed, lack of concentration at work, bad mood , anxious to look beautiful and presentable every day, all day long, as he wanted me to be, got my period a week earlier the moment I found out that the previous night he was out with another woman!
Found myself competing orher women with whom he flirted, women who had never harmed me, but with whom he wanted me to be in some sort of rivalry. No. Not anymore. I wasn't proud of me feeling this way.
I am free now ! All this is now gone! The moment I sent him away for good ! It wasn't easy because I had strong feelings for him, but I made it! With the seventh try!
All is gone🎉🎉🎉
Glad to hear you have found emotional freedom and healing.
Omg FIBROMYALGIA is a loose term and is nerve DAMAGE
The cytokines interest me!
I have had fibromyalgia and a host of other debilitating health concerns.
My husband, of nearly 40 year, just moved out. He is an abusive narcissist. I just figured that out because I caught him in his Sexual addiction again. (First time was 27 years ago) He is also a recovering alcoholic. He has addiction to Diet Coke, chewing tobacco, and all kinds of little things.
So.. during COVID, there was a study early on that showed that those with FMS were unlikely to get COVID because our cytokines couldn’t replicate fast enough so we FMSers rarely got it.
I was exposed many times and never got it.
New study reveals severe COVID-19 is rare among fibromyalgia patients
New study reveals severe COVID-19 is rare among fibromyalgia patients
Hopefully you can open this if you’re interested.
I have interstitial cystitis and I've been scanned, probed and examined enough. Mom says it's menopause. My upset annoys my partner
So a focus on the medical model rather than seeing the person holistically - bio social physical psychological model.
As you emerge from childhood of massive emotional abuse (from a family that simply puts every abnormal behavior on your father/mother and your tiny self, and you end up (growth afflicted) stunted dwarf because of the emotional impact on your growth hormone???
The guy is way too clinical as someone going through perimenopause I can definitely say perimenopause plays a huge role in how you feel day-to-day depending on where you are in your cycle.
you all talk about women 98% of the time in emotional abuse, but Hey,,,, men go through this so much also, so give a balanced view !
Please include the male victims, too!
There are many gentle good men in terrible relationship crisis .
I need help, after a narcissistic abuse I developed chronic dizziness, vertigo and blurry vision. I have done the bPPV manoeuvre but I know it’s coming from stress, do you have any thoughts?
Emotional abuse from a parent lasts a lifetime. If she was still alive, I'd sue.
And when it starts off sweet and gradually sours... And you remember the sweet but the sour is what you live, and you hope the sweet will return. And the goal posts move. And you are the problem.
Yeah, Dad, don't interrupt your son..
Cardiovascular illnesses the end result from repeated physical and psychological abuse.
Yup …. Lupus…. For me…
I keep hearing the Dr say, why do women...and he doesnt finish the question. Is there a reason for this?
I befriended a guyanese girl at my local casino. Her body and face became inflated,like a balloon! Her ex is mentally abusive towards her in public! He stands over her with his hands firmly behind her chair suggesting that she doesn't talk to anyone or even flinch. A pathetic sight!
I’m kind of glad you all aren’t medical drs treating chronic illness patients. There isn’t enough understanding of genetics and women’s hormones due to male researcher bias and the male ego that dismisses womens’ symptoms. When you don’t have knowledge of these factors, you are doing us a disservice and only offering your very limited mindset to an extremely complex issue. I have complex trauma as a result of not being listened to or cared for adequately as a child, not being diagnosed by drs. I wasn’t diagnosed with genetic rare disease and autism til 35,36 but I was certainly born with it. That will screw a person up living through so much gaslighting, more of what you’re serving up here.
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Dr hawkins .. look at how you interact with your son.
Cptsd 27 years anorexia
Right hand corner is highly rude
How can you address something that response appologies were placed final.. the show makes there hallmark to idolize his bad humour insidous immature remarkes are cheap humour
This was incredibly boring. The panel is intelligent and could be much more helpful is it wasn’t sleep ASMR.