How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime | Nadine Burke Harris | TED
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- Опубликовано: 26 сен 2024
- Childhood trauma isn’t something you just get over as you grow up. Pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris explains that the repeated stress of abuse, neglect and parents struggling with mental health or substance abuse issues has real, tangible effects on the development of the brain. This unfolds across a lifetime, to the point where those who’ve experienced high levels of trauma are at triple the risk for heart disease and lung cancer. An impassioned plea for pediatric medicine to confront the prevention and treatment of trauma, head-on.
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What I wish someone told my mother before she had children: “If you do not love life, do not create life.”
WOW!! That is a VERY PROFOUND statement.
I wish someone had enough sense to tell my father and uncle this. They have children that are suffering as a result. And I had to stop it by letting my father go and never letting him back in my life ever again.
I wish someone told my father this. How do you raise your other child - and abandon one. Backwards
@@Miss_NatashaO i wish i could have done that
Keyanna Thank you Keyanna ❤️
Bad parenting is a health crisis.
If you have stable, well adjusted & loving parents. You don't know how fortunate you are...
Yes!!!
Yea but everyone talks about trauma and never says how to fix it. Traumatized children grow up and often are unhealed and abuse their own children. Then out society is harmful to everyone.
The reason we don't want to face the problem is Western culture. We believe in nuclear families, rather than raising children in extended families with high connection to the local community. We believe in prioritizing career far above ancestral place. We also believe in preventing adolescents from assuming responsibility as adults, which is historically a very recent change and is highly related to these other values, but that's another topic. So long as we hold onto highly individualistic materialism, we are implicitly de-prioritizing the health of our children - and thus our future.
We constantly listen constantly to media and marketing propaganda that reinforce these values, and we increasingly expose our children to them despite their vulnerability to such messages. We really would rather be sick than change.
@@gracefool You see this & so do I.
Try sharing this with the people you care about. They either look at you like your crazy, don't really care or both.
Morals, values & raising healthy & mentally healthy children is being intentionally challenged in more ways than I can list.
The family unit is being dissolved, education system is dumbing down our children. The television & media controls what people think & believe. Until they turn off the television & think independently, use some common sense about what's really going on & pay attention to how really backwards everything this.
It's going to get a whole lot worse.
It has to begin with the parents they need to wake up!!!!
So effing true!
The worst thing about abusive parenting, is the parents many times don’t realize they’re abusive. This is why I believe every new parent should take a parenting class to understand child psychology.
YES. I was raised in an emotionally and sometimes physical abusive household and I never felt safe, which has caused me a great deal of neurological problems
So when I was pregnant with my daughter, I read tons of parenting books. I also read studies by neurologists and child behaviorists, relying on that information to make important decisions about how to raise a child.
So far the outcome has been great. I am by no means anywhere near even the ballpark of being a perfect parent, but I have chosen a no spanking no shaming style of parenting that focuses on guidance, support, and love. My job as a parent is for my child to know she is safe and loved, and that I support her to develop her talents and enjoy the simple act of living.
Please read all you can about parenting when you decide to become a parent! If you haven't yet, it's better late than never!!!
You Need Jesus: you’re right! If you grow up in a dysfunctional family and never have any treatment, you copy this parenting behavior thinking it’s normal! Therefore passing on the dysfunctional behavior to the next generation......without doing this on purpose. It has taken me many years of therapy on my own childhood and my own parenting to learn to see, admit, understand and gradually change this. And boy: is it well worth it! 😌☺️
Sad enough, The ones who need it (parenting class) the most-- realize it the least.
Parenting should be taught from the beginning.
Most know they abuse, treat as a lesser and control. Do unto others as want upon you, as IF the abusers would not lash out if treated how they treat their young. No animal needs classes, ..
but, classes need to be done as well as neuter and spay bad humans.
Children REQUIRE a happy childhood. Not a privileged childhood, or a pampered, or spoiled childhood. Simply a happy childhood where they are treated with respect and love and understanding.
Thank you, Dr. Harris. I pray you continue your mission and spread your wisdom all over the world!
Happiness shouldn’t be treated as a privilege, it should be treated as an expectation.
They also deserve to know they weren't literally deviously created in an attempt to keep the other person from leaving...
This is profound statement!!!
When she said "what if that bear comes home every night" I was literally triggered. I have so much anxiety and self-esteem issues so I definitely know what this woman is talking about.
Make your healing steps a daily priority, in any and all small ways that feel right and before your know it you pave a path intuitively shaped after your natural freedom and genius. Read about trauma research. You can do it. Science helps us.
When i heard that i had to stop myself from crying.
Literally triggered
Same 😕
+Kevin Hoe get help, go see someone. Don't suffer in silence. I did for years. It's a miserable existence x
I’m 36 years old and Today I broke down and cried from a memory from my teenage years of all the insults and abuse my mom. Today i decided to go and seek help from a professional and start healing
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Hey I’m so happy for you. Take the journey slow. Go at our own pace. Your healing journey is not something to be rushed. Things will slowly fall into place and start to make sense with time. ❤️ so happy for you.
Eventually I became numb to the physical and the mental abuse took more of a toll.
So glad you made that life affirming decision! Best wishes to you!
Blessings to you. I just realized I think I’m suffering from PTSD and it started in 2017 and I’ve been fighting to get over it but it won’t stop
My dad was beaten by his dad, He did not beat me. He did not want me to hate him like he hated his father. That is how you treat child abuse.
You father did the right thing. I'm going to do the same thing to my children too.
Sadly, in must cases it’s not that easy
You respect your child. That’s the way.
My dad, beaten by his mum during childhood, vowed that he'll never beat his own child. He kept his promiss but the anger gathered in those years of abuse made him batter my mum instead. Then, out of frustration probably, she started beating me...
So in the end the harm caused to me is the same, if not worse.. living with two bears
@Mike Haydon true. It's v.difficult. you have to fight daily with the urge to do exactly what your parents did to you
I started crying when you said the bear comes home every nite. I'm 71, really horrid medical history, currently facing stroke level blood pressure. I found you because I'm trying to understand what I must do to keep living. Thank you. So much.
Look up Dr Eric Berg
Look up dr joe dispenza he’ll be a big help , I hope you’re doing well
Look into psychedelic therapy. Very helpful to heal trauma and regulate the limbic system =) Also look up Gabor Maté and Bessel Van Der Kolk !
I hope you are doing well my friend.
I’m 30 and have endured every terrible thing you can think of. As a child age 8, I wanted to create a safe treatment facility for children and families so no one would be without their parent no matter what they were struggling with. I became the addict. Finally 6 years clean. Lost my oldest sons dad to suicide a couple years back. Im a struggling single Mom with two beautiful boys who are now dealing with childhood trauma and there’s no way I could protect them from it, completely out of my hands. That makes me feel awful. No matter my adversities I live each day as a gift, the beauty of the simple things around us and the love and comfort and wisdom and wonder I can give to my two boys keeps me going every day. When I get over this financial burden hurdle I will eventually go back to school to be an art therapist. That is my dream and I’ll get there ☺️
My hope for anyone reading this is that they allow themselves grace for any hardship they have gone through and they realize how special and important and WORTHY they truly are🖤
Most parents don’t think about their kids emotions. Feed and clothe that’s all they think kids need.
So true, I just learned how complex emotions are. I am sadly being a mom before I even understood how complex this is.. I am having a full focus on mental health care on the moment.. but guilt of not being enough confronts me all day everyday. I definitely agree on patenting classes before people should start having kids !!!!!!!!
@@kimd3445 honey you will never be “enough” where in the bench mark ?
You’ll never be perfect, it’s like chasing after a destination that keeps adjusting itself.
Just focus on being “good enough” coz mum, you will make mistakes, you will have to learn as you go.
And you will make it out the other side, stronger and good enough. Xx
@@kimd3445 theres no “guide for the perfect parent” so just kerp trying your best. on a daily basis, and stay aware that as a parent you can make mistakes but apologize for it. stay humble and empathetic
Lots of parents can't even manage their own emotions or even know how to love
Yep my parents and I don't understand how they think it's okay.
People don't understand that early childhood experience shapes your brain for life. Great information, thank you.
Yup?
Your opinion actually defies the scientifically proven neuroplasticity of the brain, and by the way, it's not an optimistic way to look at life.
Abdul M
Can you explain how this goes against the concept of neuroplasticity, and what optimism has to do with anything when surely facts are more important.
Abdul M It doesn't matter that its not an optimistic way to look at life. You have to look at reality.
Abdul M
"It's not an optimistic way to look at life"=denial about serious health and social problems. If you just dismiss people with serious health problems as "not optimistic enough" then you don't have any responsibility for making things better do you?
What she said about doctor's lack of trauma training is so important.
They're so cold and distant.
It's really tough to find a proper mental health professional. They really need to update their study materials
Most likely the Rockefeller Foundation did more damage to healing in the USA than just locking up many proven cures for cancer.
@@garterbelts strongly agree! I moved to a different state and left behind a therapist I love. Who has helped me the most of all the crappy counselors I tried and he has the least experience. He always seemed to be reading up on the latest medical studies and discoveries. We still text but not treating me, just so that he knows I am very happy and healthy now as opposed to trying to exit my world. I'm currently not up for the challenge just yet of finding a new therapist. Takes so much energy. Best to you GB
Nurses are getting more of it now.
I was beaten, sexually abused by my father and humiliated, bullied in school, now I'm 28 and just can't interact with people or make friends like everyone else, I always feel like I want someone to hug me and make me feel protected.
Jesus loves you ❤
For me it was alcohol abuse and witnessing a lot of violence, but I understand the feeling.
I have the same. It's like being a ghost.
I empathise. I score high on ACEs and recognise that hunger to be held and feel safe, and to struggle to make connections. The fact you recognise it provides hope, and healing is possible. If you want some helpful reading I recommend Pete Walker's Complex PTSD. 🫂❤️🩹🙏
I am sorry for what you have been through. What helped me move forward all these 34 years of my life were going to Church and believing in God. You are loved and hugged by God.
I'm really sorry to hear that 😢 thanks for sharing
The "bear" example was spot on. Even if I get a text from one of my family members even if it's a good text I still start to shake and breath and sweat ready for the worst. It never leaves you.
Sapphire McDaniel Me too...
I have already but it doesn't make the symptoms disappear. Its learnt behaviour from being in flight or fight mode all of the time
:(((
The same.
Maybe you can try therapies such as somatic experience or EMDR (don't know the order in English, it has to do with Rapid Eyes Movement). It helps in case of trauma. But, you should only do that with someone who has good evaluation by the patients. You can either do it with a trained psychiatrist or a trained psychotherapist.
I was abused as a child I don't drink in don't smoke I don't do any drugs. but I do stay far away from people in general.
Agreed, I tend to be a recluse and feel much safer in my studio. I am not that afraid of people just crowds more so. I have become VERY good at the "one on one" conversation. Gatherings put me in a blind panic.
I'm proud of you for not doing any of those things besides of them not good for your health theres more money in your pocket
I was similar for a long time, forced contact with others at work helped me to grow away from that
Same. I want to live alone as much as possible
Same.. i have a cat ☺️
And there are parents who would NEVER have their child diagnosed with this because it would let their secret out. God forbid anyone else know!
Katie Hunt yup right here my dad still plays the victim i hate him deeply
sadly true - rather say the kids got behaviour issues or ADHD - hmm - easy to blame the kid isnt it when it's actually a responsibility of a parent to love their child and not treat them like a nuiscance or a prize to be shown off and lived through and bragged about in society and on social media but behind closed doors - abuse.
Oof that’s so accurate it’s, obviously, painful. But we are not alone, and, one person at a time, we will end cycles of trauma for future generations. I really do wish you-all of us-the best. Good luck 💛
My mom is exactly like this. I hate her attitude toward problems that she helped create.
We couldn’t tell anyone because “you don’t want your daddy to be thrown in jail do you ?”. What a schmuck he was.
All I do is hug and kiss my daughters. I always ask them if they are ok and I ask them about their feelings and explain emotions to them. I was given up for adoption and I know what childhood trauma feels like. It’s my goal to help battling children in the future because they are precious and deserve healing.
you’re amazing❤️❤️❤️
Queen
Love from India 🥺❤️
Such a good dad🥺❤️🩹
You’re a kind beautiful soul who realizes their greater purpose in life I thank you, they too and other souls in need as well
I’m gonna do it. I’m going to make a change. Whether through writing my book or speaking out, I’ll change the way adults speak to, treat, and communicate with kids, teens, and young adults.
Same ♥️ good luck to you.
This is beautiful
I'm so very proud of you, tell your story. You Go Girl
yvonne ash
Thank you.
That's great... wish you the best
I love this woman's aura , her presence.
Yess her voice makes me feel safe 🥺
Her passion inspires me ❤️💪🏻
YES. It’s such a powerful momma bear aura.
She's a leader. She is the voice of those with no voices.
@@masterspacetime2826 go talk to your psychiatrist about your problems. None of us can help you with your childhood trauma.
I wish society saw how important it is to raise and love our children. They are literally the next generation of humanity.
I approve
Most people are greedy, selfish, scumbags, even the so-called good people
THIS!!! My mind was blown how important this is. I have seen it for myself. There isn't a small difference but a major difference.
100%
Fr. This is why the “gentle” parenting movement really excites me.
OMG! I literally cried during this . As a survivor of long term sexual abuse I have had heart attacks, strokes, pulmonary embolism n a multitude of gastric issues ... I feel like someone finally understands that you just cannot snap outta things if you have suffered severe trauma... Great info!!
Same for me. I went through sexual abuse from the age three even to 21 and I also was mentally, emotionally and verbally abused. I have had to carry an epinephrine pen for so long due to allergic reactions that turned out to be caused by stress hives. No heart attacks. But constantly on edge and stressed out to the max and most days for no good reason.
Hello Kate! Thank you for sharing. I also find the teachings of Deepak Chopra and Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh transformative. They empower people, care for this planet, commit to veganism. Veganism, supporting local organic farming, can help one heal physically, feel better emotionally, spiritually as it cares for animal, fish wellbeing and doesn't hurt them. Great book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Sending love and blessing! 🥰🙌
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@@JesusSavesLives88 Thank you for sharing. I also find the teachings of Deepak Chopra and Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hanh transformative. They empower people, care for this planet, commit to veganism. Veganism, supporting local organic farming, can help one heal physically, feel better emotionally, spiritually as it cares for animal, fish wellbeing and doesn't hurt them. Great book The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Sending love and blessing! 🥰🙌
@@tianyue5814 . I'll look into what you recommended... Thanks so much for taking your time to offer some insight/ information 💚
@@JesusSavesLives88 my abuse was physical from ages 8-19 then sexual innuendos until I hit 55 n said ENOUGH!!! thank you for sharing your story... I never told anyone but as I became an adult it occurred to me that none of it was my fault n I was not the sick one !!! I think we survivors tend to blame ourselves somehow ... I no longer hesitate to tell people my story as I'm not the one who should feel ashamed... All my best!!!
When she talked about the bear coming home every night, I felt that anxiety that I feel every time my dad comes home.
I felt the same growing up. I see you! Thanks for speaking up.
..or going home from school wondering if a bear was waiting at home
@@caseymariez I like that your reply said "I see you"
Those are powerful words
Same! My stomach instantly turned into knots whenever I heard the car door slam and keys in the door. During summer vacations I’d be wanting to stay outside all night with my friends instead of going in the house. I still can’t believe this has such an impact on me now as an adult. I’m no longer in contact with my dad and I’m trying to do my best to keep myself healthy so I don’t end up with any chronic disease when I’m older. I want to live a happier life for myself and my future generation. I hope your and anyone going through this situation gets better.
My whole life bro
This makes a ton of sense. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs, but i suffer from anxiety and stress easily. And a lot of it is conditioned behavior from childhood.
stanleycoleman all the best to you.
Me too .Pls send me friends request in FB .I have same symptoms .
Me too
you might want to look into Richard Grannon CPTSD
stanleycoleman yes
"What if that bear comes home every night"
That hit home.
yeah, right!
Profoundly true.
Struck a personal nerve indeed...
That moment when you realize you began to asociate 'family coming home' with 'danger' and that's it has been the case since your childhood.
This hurt...
that metaphor isn't the only thing that hit (at) home.
I took the test and got a five. Every day I lived in fear with my siblings that my mother would be in a bad mood and beat us. This happened on a daily basis. There were days I would be sent to bed hungry as a punishment for something I did wrong. Most of my birthdays I spent sent to bed early after getting beat up for something I did wrong and told I was too full of myself because I was happy it was my birthday. No wonder I feel the way I do and don't trust anyone.
My mum was the same shelly, went to bed hungry as punishment just sitting in the dark with my brother and we would get hit, it really messed us up.. hope you find healing
You’re so incredibly strong, please don’t give up.
Plus my dad said my mom are giving me a life but then I’m worthless
@@ahdell5536 It's your mom who is miserable. you don't have to be Ahdell. I'm sure she did terrible things to you and hurt you deeply and it is in YOUR POWER to release that and let it go so that it no longer has any kind of hold on you. Get it in your rearview mirror forever. These comments are heartbreaking and I am so sorry about the pain you carry daily. Sending heartfelt love and light to you!
I'm so sorry, this is absolutely horrible, I wish karma upon your abuser and abondance, joy, fulfillment and serenity for you
Diagnosed with anxiety disorder at age 13 after years of abuse from my mother. Doctors didn't even ask why I was feeling anxious. Not once.
amisfitpuivk Don't try to justify doctors, yes they keep us well and watered but lets be honest here, roughly 60% of our local doctors don't even try new things, they just follow what they were taught; by the book. We need a new education system for doctors, one that is flexible and has more outcomes. This is just my opinion, I'm from Australia and this is all I can say about the doctor's iv'e seen, and I have see a lot.
and that's what this talk was about, working with the various specialist and service agencies to identify high risk children and youth and develop a protocol of treatment that includes coordination among car providers to develop and implements a multi-faceted healing approach across the disciplines to promote behavioral, physical, psychiatric and emotional well-being...from psychotherapy to nutrition, from family dynamics to nutrition, from psychiatric support to community support to education, self-care skills building and early intervention on all fronts
Colonel Veers Totally agree with you.
Colonel Veers You describe this epidemic so clearly and have helped me order my thoughts around the fundamentals that have always shaped the world. My grown children refuse to see how my mother damaged all of us with her abuse even though she never physically abused them. Even though my mother is dead my family still refuses to acknowledge the rampant abuse in every generation of our family on both sides and affecting every member of our family. Even when memories of horrendous child abuse were surfacing in my sister's tortured brain and she asked for clarity of the memories our family told her she had an unremarkable childhood. They would have rather my sister kill herself then ever admit what they had done to us when we were children, all the while professing to wanted to help my sister. I am active in the ACE movement in my state and getting the word out about how pervasive ACES are and always have been, is my mission. Hope you will continue to speak out Colonel and many blessings to you.
Colonel Veers I agree
I am 56 yo and finally figured out that my traumatic childhood has affected me my entire life and I’m just coming to terms with it. Like a light came on, my ah ha moment.
Did you have a good life despite your childhood? It's affected a lot for me, but it's hard realizing how much. It also makes me feel like I'll never break out of the patterns.
Same here, only 76. This time of isolation has really put my past and present in my face, and ultimately my heart.
Glad I had this realization at age 21. How did u fight through it?
@@GoldenSun10 me too, smh. Just when I think I’ve defeated the demons they crop back up
An epiphany
I have no memory of my parents hugging me as a child. Not one memory. Plenty of memories of them verbally abusing me and physical punishments as far back as when I was 18 months.
How are you doing now? 😢
Oh I got hugs, but only to prevent me from straying too far away after an episode of abusive behaviour. Just enough so I’d convince myself that everything was ok.
Same😔 my first memory of my mom is her beating me up
@@keumamelanie5602 I'm so sorry you experienced that. You didn't deserve that.
Me too.. :(
I wish both my parents got to watch this before they raised me.
Bullying in school is a major contributor to childhood trauma.
you attract that into your life because of abuse at home
@@sheeplesheep9379 Could you elaborate more about this? It's very interesting.
@@ryugaatsuka3344 the way you were treated as a child carrys on into your adult life,,..you are use to that kind of treatment ,so it carrys on until you learn to heal from it,
@@sheeplesheep9379 100%
Those bullies have parents....
She just publicly outed why so many endure PTSD today. Poor parenting of children moves up to less resilient adults who then face societies 'systems' where injustice, cruelty, lack of basic understanding re-traumatises adults until brain function is so impaired, they cannot work.
As schools close and employees are encouraged to work from home to combat the coronavirus, experts are concerned about an increase in domestic violence. In order to help the more than 10MM children who are living with domestic violence, please share this Emmy nominated children's program which they can watch on their phones through RUclips: ruclips.net/channel/UCSYvtCfNc6EjFIYe0vJbQ0w Website: www.cdv.org
agree, ive had this expeirience. i havent been equipped with the tools to deal with the stress of living in an adult world where there's a lot of competition and unfortunately a lot of manipulative arseholes and abusive people so much in denial of how they are - when i have challenged it recently ive had a lot of rejection - but oh well, i'm glad i'm sticking up fo rmyself now - rather than drinking to numb the pain. my recovery has been tough but im starting to see more that i dont have to be a victim/survivor i can learn to thrive and coming out of denial and into ptsd in some ways is a gift because i can heal from the pain. Some people never come out of denial sadly. they just drink or use drugs or work addictively and have a numb life. this is really really so common this problem - so sad, but lets thank god we can take proactive steps to change it. i have made a conscious decision to unlearn the behaviour i learned as a child - to be rageful, untrusting, chaotic, a betrayer, use drugs, BEFORE i have kids. I want nothing more than to have children, but id rather not have one until i am ready and know i am prepared to treat my child the way a child deserves to be treated. yes boundaries are necessary and discipline but not screaming and shouting and trashing a kids room when theyre too small to do anything- i was petrified as a child absolutely petrified and then when i was old enough to stick up for myself i did and got into violence in a big way. now i choose not to be violent but sometimes i lose my temper and its misdirected anger and very corrosive to my relationships. i see myself do it and i feel sick - its a compulsion and a learned behaviour - sometimes the front of my brain does shut down and i can't think straight whatsoever cant work out how to communicate like a calm, measured adult. it's very annoying and i feel a lot of shame at times. but at least i am self aware and working at addressing it. and not ignoring it or stuffing my feelings. learning ways to cope. im at the start of a new journey with ptsd and i am tired, weary and in grief, but also excited for my new life when i have learned how to deal with it better and hopefully one day i can help others through same things.
Yes!
And those adults become parents again, and the cycle never ends... unless someone decides to break the cycle, which in many cases doesn't happen.
@@ChanaRules one way is to not have kids,,that was my sisters way,, she aborted all her kids because she was afraid of abusing them
sometimes emotional abuse could be worse than physical ones.
yes! because it's much harder to identify as violence.
@John Smith Totally feel that sentence. But in the past few years a surprising amount of emotional wounds healed as well and I know I can completely recover. It's just a shitload of hard work when you're already so tired. Hope you are well!
veryyyy trueeeeee
It definitely is worse!!!
its equal...I had both the physical and emotional,, most people have
Having grown up as the scapegoat in a family with 2 narcissistic parents, I can confirm from personal experience that this is true. I am 61 years old, have suffered a lifetime of narcissistic relationships due to a strong trauma bond. In the past couple of years, I have come to understand this at a cellular level and am now healing. The effect of a traumatic childhood with physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual abuse is so hard to overcome, not only because of the trauma itself, but also because even some of the most reputable therapists don't understand this, therefore, they don't treat it. The best therapist I have ever had was recently, a very young woman who worked for the local domestic violence center. I am thankful for her, because she helped me dig into the past and understand where the trauma began.
Dr. Ramani on youtube. She is amazing.
No one can fix a pain they’ve never felt; I’m not saying there’s no talented therapists out there but they are few and hard to come across.
Exactly I’m 54 and in good therapy finally …
This was one of the best TED talks I've ever heard.
May04bwu yes she’s an amazing speaker
Ok, against my perception of the political bias of Ted Talks, I agree with you. Setting "politics" aside, Dr. Burke takes childhood neglect and abuse by the throat . . . And more. "Early adversity" is not a political problem.
Why are so many men wearing dresses nowadays?
@@ErinIsReal I have only seen this once,Transgenders.
Truth
Being told to "suck it up" always felt wrong to me and it never made me any stronger ...glad science proved me right and i'm glad i made the right choice for my family to end the cycle .
Somebody who says "suck it up" is a P.O.S. with no empathy or compassion!! @Deeply Blue
Every time I was sick, "Suck it up and go to school. I don't stay home from work when I'm sick.". This talk hits the nail on the head for me.
Idk that line has always worked for me
@@alexwarner5395 Unfortunately, the schools send parents to court for truancy. Even with illnesses as an excuse, parents have to pay thousands of dollars in fines if a child misses more than the allotted days of school. Going to see the doctor for every single fever, stomach bug, etc is costly and unrealistic. My poor children get exposed to traumas at school so much they have psychosomatic symptoms during the mornings before school. Its heartbreaking, but after so many absences (one of my daughters even had strep throat twice this year) I have to send them to school and let the nurse send them home if they're truly sick. (Absences don't count if sent home sick from school.) It breaks my heart, the government's rules make it impossible to mother my children how I see fit!
Cammie AK thats strange i was absent a lot super a lot from school and my parents never had to pay any fines? like my grades went down how often absent i was because i also had throat issues and fevers and such
She doesn't talk about it, but this talk really paints a picture about how trauma can even be intergenerational and cyclical.
Trauma is inter-generational...you are correct.
It is
Yup generational curses
Yes yeeees. Very much more intergenerational because of the possible lack of parenting from my perspective
You are so correct Ash...trauma is inter-generational and cyclical. Hurt people hurt people and the output becomes input again...said reality that hopefully outreach and learning to share openly without shame, will help to stop the cycles that form in any unhealthy relationship
I was drowned by my father as a child. I wish I was not abused, I just wanted to live a normal life but I was drowned by my father. If you are a survivor of child abuse I'm sorry. If you did not suffer child abuse, please know how fortunate and blessed you are .
❤️ I send you so much love
My mom once as a child choked me really hard cuz she got mad at me, I thought I was gonna die.. I wish I had a normal life😢
So sorry this happened to you 😢
My father would take me far out from the shore and hold my head under the water. I came up gasping for air, desperately telling my father that I loved him, but it didn't work. He would repeat doing this with insane like gratification, or joy.
I know this is freaky to say, but this was a spiritual exercise for me. It is not possible to put into words. I experienced terror and then euphoria. I was no longer there. I know this doesn't make sense.
@@mikemcneeley1580 I'm so sorry this happened to you. 😢
A brilliant beautiful lady with an intelligent mind. Thank God for people like her.
Yes i agree. Such a well spoken confident smart woman.
So true
@@Adventure_fuel It is a great and rare treat to read such an intelligent, thoughtful response.
Amen
I don't thank god, but I agree a brilliant beautiful lady with an intelligent mind. (Flawed human thinking, thank god for the good people, and the bad, well, errrr, ummmm God has nothing to do with.) The word god for me is nothing more than a product of human weakness. "Albert Einstein"
I watched this and have tears rolling down my face. Tears of gratitude. I wish this woman was my doctor. Thank you Nadine Burke Harris for your commitment to this.
debra grant I am sobbing too. My struggles make sense now.
Me too!!
"Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) are the single greatest UNADDRESSED public health threat facing our nation today." - Dr. Robert Block
This is scary...
this is reality. We are the movement✊
Brent Foster #Facts
I agree. I prayed to the Lord Jesus and He answered me and helped me when I was helpless. I had severe abuse, I shared my story further up.
You may not like what I offered you here, but it works.
I felt sad to hear you say what you did; and I understand exactly what you're saying.
💚
It is a major tragedy to neglected children, especially the low awareness among therapists. Luckily, thanks to the internet and heroes like Pete Walker, we can still get the help we need. What an evil world where a enormous problem like this, which affects helpless children, is so routinely ignored.
I first watched this when I was 58 years old. The abuse, rejection from my father has caused a flood of health problems in my life. It's sad that this hasn't been told to every new parent.
I feel your pain James I hope you are doing better
The Body keeps the score. Start listening to people like Dr Howard Schubiner, Dr David Strachs. Also The Pain PT on RUclips. Our bodies keep the score from these things. Some our stuff is from disease or damage to our bodies but some is really just our brains seeing danger everywhere and reacting accordingly. A good trauma-informed therapist could help too as they are trained to help you get pass my the trauma and resolve it. It’s never too late to get a new lease on life. I’m 58 and working on mine.
My childhood is full of painfull memories and frustration 😖🥺
Mira Mira ruclips.net/video/mCy6M3XsGzQ/видео.html
I feel that, I had to share my story so hopefully they can understand or aware of what we go through!!!
I have a hard time thinking up good memories because they are laced with bad
me too
No happy memories at all🥺🥺
This just might be the best TED talk ever.
agree!!
Never heard one till tonight. I like her. She cares.
Yes!!!!!👏👏👏👏👏
Alan Li agreed!
Most parents think they know best and simply refuse to acknowledge that they have made major mistakes or that their treatment of their children was abusive. My parents think that because I wasn't severely beaten or violently molested that I should just shut up and quit being so sensitive. They're the worst.
Danica Want’s Ramen yep
That's classic gaslighting.
I feel you!!! SO HARD, isn't it?!! My parents also call me hypersensitive and don't want to admit the abuse.. HUGE pain to live with, isn't it?!!! I believe this has affected my health, both physical health and mental health, tremendously!! MUCH LOVE and COURAGE to you, dear one🙏 Eva, Belgium
Same
I’m not sure how old you are but until you’re in your 20’s no one cares about abuse. I was emotionally abused growing up but I couldn’t find an adult who cared until I also became an adult.
I've experienced childhood trauma and the sad part is that alot of people think you're already a big person and this thing happened since u were little why are you still thinking of it and why not let it go and move on.
I know they're saying what seem possible but what they don't understand is that childhood trauma is not easy for anyone to overcome like that.
I'm at age 33, and still struggle to socialize and they're times when people may find me odd and say things about me which will hurt my feelings but I understand that they don't understand me.
So what I do is keep smiling and focus on my job and pay less attention to negative comments. Cause I realized that in this world alot of people are broken in different ways and our behaviours are affected by many things of the past.
As I'm here I find people to discuss my situation with and if they seem not to follow I forget discussing anything cause like I said alot of people don't know how to talk to people like us.
Bless you and you do your thing
Cause of the rape survival at the age of 8 from my dad,,,,, domestic violence. Have encountered failed relationships,,,,lost trust and dont feel loved. Hate myself for the past 13 years ........just know this trauma is real
yes, we were infected as children; and remain affected as adults
My boyfriend calls it childishness 😢
That's how my family act when I bring it up they hate me cause I wont move on and still talk about what happened but it has extremely affected me in my day to day life living with what has happened.
If I die sooner because of the trauma I endured as a child then the less time I'll have to deal with emotional pain in my heart that never ever goes away.
Jen Lee that’s kind of a pessimist view point. Why wouldn’t you rather want to learn how to deal with the trauma, versus just saying “oh well, I’ll just accept my fate”?
Aircheekz we all die that's all I'm saying. Some sooner. I've tried to heal I'm still working on it. I just feel that I'll never get ovet it. Maybe it is my fate? I don't know. All I know is that I'm in lots a emotional pain and eventually it will end when I end.
Jen Lee I understand. I too have had to deal with some of that and am still healing. For me my life imploded over the last couple years. ended with an addiction problem that I eventually discovered was rooted in childhood issues/ how I was raised. I’m still dealing with the repercussions. I’ve just found it easier to forgive. We’ve all done things, and affected or hurt someone... even if it’s not to the same degree as was done to you, you’ve hurt someone before, guaranteed.
Aircheekz i did try to forgive my mother. Even after all the physical, mental and emotional abuse. I forgave her. Started building a new relationship with her and in the end she told me I never forgave her. When I did even when she denied what happened and said I had an over active imagination. I learned later that my mom is a narcissist. She cant see she's done anything wrong because she projects her bad behavior on others. Especially me when I was a child. Saying things like its all my fault I was born and how I was her biggest mistake. Those wounds will never go away. There is a scar and ir doesn't take much to bleed. i have trust issues and trouble building relationships. I meditate and I keep fighting though. I have an addiction to love a mother who will never love me becausw she doesn't know how to herself. My Dads an alcoholic so seeing how' he has suffereed from his addiction I stay away from drugs and alcolhol. Besides I think that would make me an even more emotional wreck. I'm sorry you went through hard times. Glad ypu figured out the root cuase came from your childhood. That you were able to forgive without it slapping you in the face. I wish you the best on you're healing journey. Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job.
Jen Lee thanks, but I’ve still got plenty of work to do to turn my situation around, I’m a complete mess. Over coming my addiction ended up with me having very serious health issues that I’m still battling. Thought I was gonna die at some point, now I feel like I’m on track to get my mind and body back to where it was. Though I know it will take a bit of time. Only thing that’s helped me get through it all is my faith in Jesus Christ. All the stuff I’ve had to endure over the last couple of years, I should probably be dead. But He allowed me to keep fighting and now I’m starting to realize why I had to go through all this and so I’m very optimistic about my future. Idk anything about you, or what you believe but Christ can do the same for you.
I really didn’t even see the point of living for quite some time, but now I have hope that my future will be brighter than my past. Getting pat all my fears that have been in me since I was a child is my next giant to kill. I’ll get there but by bit.
But my hat goes off to you for your openness and willingness to try and repair things with your mother. Those things are very difficult, and I don’t have things as good as I wish they were with my folks (I’m forced to live with them now too so it’s less than ideal for me) but I pray and hope my situation gets better. God bless you and good day!
This absolutely blew my mind! As a survivor of childhood and adolescent trauma I am just now learning that there is a physical change the body and brain undergo that can impact the rest of your life. I have struggled for years with complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, chronic pain, etc and this information is really helping me realize that hey...it's not all just in my head..there's real science behind this. This is helping me soooo sooo much!!!
Amen! so helpful...i just thought i was weak.
I went through all sort of abuse almost my whole life; Didn't know about complex PTSD until I read a narcissism abuse book I ordered on Amazon, recently. Discovering the sad truth was so much painful, and reading that part of the book too. So many people abused me, starting from childhood. Now, I don't even trust any friends; people I trusted just took advantage of it. Anyway, God will have the last word. Stay strong!! :)
Kari K. Rose the same in my childhood life, but people think 💭 I’m a narcissist, I’m a very given person! I get criticized, they don’t understand what is ,I grow up with no self esteem!! I never smoked, no drugs, or alcohol 🍷 no one understand me! I do feel alone!!! There’s so much more, 😭
Yup! And my childhood trauma bled into adult life and while I have better boundaries now, it's still hard - understatement
Omg!!! I really!! Understand what you're going through😭❤
Suffered severe emotional abuse from the woman that gave birth to me. felt like a failure my whole childhood now suffer from anxiety and depression it's been so rough it's breath taking. Thank you for this
becomingdanyell joe I understand girl. I was emotionally abused constantly by my father and made to feel lesser. He’s a little better now but I still refuse to talk to him. My mom and him get along now which is good I guess and I think he sort of apologized to her. There is repercussions of it in my life when my sister is around too. It’s sad so I understand. And my mom does it sometimes too
I understand why u feel like a failure I have at times too girl
becomingdanyell joe I know exactly what that’s like.. currently debating if I should get back on Zoloft..I mean, i’d rather not.. but it’s getting harder 😞
becomingdanyell joe. Im sorry to hear that but it does happen. This will often times set you up for abusive relationships. Hopefully you have cut her off.
you're a good person and deserve happiness....bad people don't suffer from depression or anxiety....sending love your way
I related to your talk. My Mother had BPD an Bipolar. She felt it was more important to treat strangers better than her own children
😢
Im happy that finally issues like childhood adversity is recognised, childhood domestic violence does change the child's interaction with the society.. having a good parents is indeed a luxury that many doesn't receive
Sapphire Moon ruclips.net/video/mCy6M3XsGzQ/видео.html
Very this video has made me share my childhood story, to wake up and make sure people are aware.
It's not a luxury, it 's a neccessity.
@@ysabellacohen-monfared7219 well, it should be a necessity but it just isn’t. Having a bad parent won’t (always) kill you but it certainly is a disadvantage. Having good parents give you an advantage to reach happiness
@@clementinedippeldapp6899 Everything will never be fine but like you said "supporting parents". Parents who are able, but don’t support their kids add to their trauma. Especially if they also abuse their kids while not supporting. Just having parents who support you and don’t abuse you gives you confidence and strength that the opposing doesn’t have.
I Was beaten almost every day into I was 12 years old. I now have terrible anxiety in my 20’s. I wish this ACE was available when I was growing up.
Dyslexic Nursingstudent 💜
I’m praying your Strength and healing; you are not alone my brother
I'm proud of you for making it this far.
Seek tranquility and peace. Be mindful of your music and toxic people. Prayer and meditation is medicinal
Dyslexic Nursingstudent So sorry to hear. Best of luck in your recovery!
My childhood was a constant stream of terror and pain. When they finally threw me into the street, the pimps that finished raising me were the kindest people I knew. They treated me better than my family. They were the only people who cared whether I lived or died.
My 18th birthday was in adult lockup. That isn't the sad part. The sad part is that it was my second best birthday ever.
I'm writing a book. 👊
I would read it. Good luck sweetheart, I am praying for you to heal
good luck
I'm so sorry that happened to you. When all we ever had was abuse, even very basic human treatment feels like a blessing. The trouble is we often stop there and don't imagine things could be even better for us.
Good luck.
you go beautiful!
You go for it, that's fantastic, you're a survivor
My guess is that this doesn’t just apply to trauma in the home but exposure to bullying outside the home as well. Excellent lecture.
Yes! Everything before 6 is very Bad, later stuff minor Bad, but still can activate the odler stuff from early childhood. You can see that with sexual abuse, the later Symptoms are worse, when it happend before 6...
@@marlosunnyfruit4431 care to elaborate please? specifically on trauma symptoms being worse when caused before age 6
@@jeepersmcgee3466 A few studies have said that birth-7yrs is when your brain/body is having the most growth and development and is a critical + sensitive period so if it’s receiving trauma in that critical period it is especially damaging
I read her book and with the main 10 ACEs they’ve also developed like “bonus factors” idk what they call them but it’s minor ACE factors essentially like bullying or community factor but the stuff that happens in the home is more damaging and community factors can be buffered with a good home environment
These kind of people are the future of humanity.
Not just explore the problem, care about the problem and feel the need to search for the solution.. Because behind the shadow of the problem there's always one person standing there all alone.
Beautifully worded x
Just thought I'd add: The Fight or Flight system has a third reaction. Fight, Run or Freeze. When there's an adversity or a "bear" that you can't fight and can't run from it either, humans will freeze and not be able to move. When you panic e.g. in front of an audience, can't move, can barely speak or think. That's the Freeze reflex.
Isn’t it fight, flight, freeze, or fawn? That why if faced with an angry dog you try to placate it I though.
Thank you! That gets overlooked so often. And then we ask 'why didn't she run away?' 'Why didn't she fight back?' When the answer is 'her subconscious instinctively recognised that neither of those options was likely to work and went with freezing as the thing that offered the best chance of survival.'
Polly RG yeah. That is what happens when I'm scared.
Been there and it's the worst kind of feeling
Don't forget flop around like a dying fish and faint. That's what I did a lot (and still do) in my abusive situation that I survived (which was human trafficking). I did that mostly with fawn and freeze second most likely. Third was flight. (Not too useful because I had severe asthma, and running gave me asthma attacks). Fourth was fight (not too likely to win a fight cause I was a 50 pound child and I had 250 pound men raping me). And now I'm a 100 ish pound adult. So as a teen getting raped by large men I was also about 100 pounds. Mainly I just tried to avoid them crushing my ribcage so they would not puncture a lung and I would not die.
As a victim of childhood molestation over a number of years, I struggle with a lot of things. I have 3 kids now and it's hard sometimes being present. My kids are young adults now and I still find it difficult not to fall into a depression..... She's right, childhood abuse affects you for a lifetime
Kinks n' Curls 💜
Dance, dance, dance with yourself and kids. Face the wounds and lower emotions and pound them out in dance, then image and re create neuronal loving pathways, embody your entire body from head to toe. You have to CHOOSE...OVER AND OVER..
Kinks n' Curls it really does...I as well
Pray every morning. Thank God as soon as you wake up because you are still here despite the trauma. Exercise daily, take a walk and listen to a healing message as you do. Finally go sit in the same space with your kids and engage in small talk. If they don’t talk to much being they are young adults, just be in the same space with them and read a book. Be healed, God Bless.❤️
I have two kids 11 and 13. I feel the same. 'IT' casts a shadow across a lifetime.
A childhood trauma therapist I had once told me that a child’s brain decides how it’s own life span will go in the first 6 years of life. So for instance, if a child’s life is very full of trauma in the first 6 years, they will more than likely have the issues talked about in this video. And the opposite for those with little to no trauma.
Actually true
She has definitely found her calling
Yes!!
🔥🔥🔥🔥🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
The. Bear was my late father.
My mother was too clueless/ immature to protect us.
In my 30's I asked why didn't she protect us. ' what was I supposed to do?'. She responded.
At age 49 ( 61 now) I cut off my parents and my chronic illness improved dramatically. I should've done it much sooner.
No regret just better health/ life quality / marriage.
Sadly, going no contact seems to be the only way to go. Well done! Onwards and upwards...
Auntie Rose my story to the T
Auntie Rose do you ever regret cutting them off?
Been 2 years, I am 24 now. Best decision ever
@@KtotheB1218 No. You may feel regret or miss them, but its actually may be just the idea that it will be okay.
Look after yourself and make your own 'family' of close people
She's an excellent speaker. I wish I was 1/10th as good.
I agree, I felt engaged and my eyes never left her presence on stage.
+Sonny Fields So true, it didn't look likeit was scripted, if it even is, AND she never faltered the entire 16mins. Added bonus, she was both funny and emotionally captivating, on top of being scientific.
I agree.
Michael K It's easy to do if you can speak to one person. Treat the audience as the person you're speaking to. Sounds simplistic but it's true.
I know. That deliberate pacing which allows you to catch every word. The avoidance of excessive emotionalism that means each cold, hard fact lands like a punch in the gut. The avoidance of blame and shame, when that would be the easy path to go down. The self-restraint in her use of movement and gesticulation... And those were just the ones I picked up most easily.
My dad has given me a phobia that has led to so far about 18 years of chronic sleep deprivation and stress which I'm sure will affect my lifespan.
Childhood abuse will affect EVERY aspects of your child's life. Abusive parents, listen up! It is NOT OK to hurt your child.
nanc77 That is the most unnecessarily useless comment I've ever seen.
Why is it unnecessary or useless?? Some parents think it's OK to hurt their children. Are you saying that just because people are watching this video that they CANNOT possibly be or become abusive towards their children. I am speaking from personal experience. I was physically, mentally, and verbally abused for YEARS! And while I am not abusing drugs or other substances to deal with my past, I still struggle with daily lives as an adult. Childhood trauma DOES affect you. So, unless you've been abused in the past, DO NOT think for a second that you have the right to judge others.
nanc77 Well I have, and that's not what I was referring to. Saying "don't do that anyone" to someone won't change a damn thing. Telling parents it's not OK won't change anything at all- they'll still do it. Your comment is useless.
You are correct that my comment most likely won't change a thing. But being an American, living in America, the land of the free, I am entitled to voice my opinion. As far as I know I am not hurting anyone with my comments.You, sir, are also entitled to your opinion :) have a great weekend!
nanc77 I never said you weren't entitled to your own opinion. I was just saying that stating your opinion is useless.
The older I get the more aware I am of how my childhood was not normal. I resent my parents for many things, from the major memories I can never forget to the small things that make me ask
"Why?" but now I am at a point where I am forced to make peace with it and try to heal the damage. I am still coming to terms with this though, as the little child in me wants nothing more than to scream and curse at them. My family cannot understand why I have anxiety and have fought depression on and off over the years, they think I'm full of it. "We never had that and we had it worse than you!" Of course you never did, you manifested the abuse differently and took it out on me. I have two siblings. One can say nothing nice about our parents and the other manages to be positive. I have to lie or say nothing at all. I do not want my future children to resent me so- assuming I can ever find a mate who can handle my mental health long enough to raise a family with me.
"We had it worse than you!" sounds just like my parents. A. why would you want your child to have had it as bad as you? I would want better for my child. I would want the best.
LadyTaurus95 please honour how you are feeling, if your not ok with it now, that ok, healing can take time, and even if you do get to a place of healing and recovery, it doesn’t make the past go away, our traumas will always be apart of our past, but it doesn’t have to define our future and who we choose to be
This.
Abe Cedeefgee I doubt they deserve that but they do try to make up for it. Well half do. And they do deny it. Because they believe it was too horrible or they just don’t know for sure what it is
Abe Cedeefgee too often the victims of abuse die alone as well.
Your an amazing doctor! You are an example of what every doctor should strive to be! A healer!
She’s amazing
I wish my parents never had children. We are all so damaged because of the abuse and neglect. Some people should be neutered because they are incapable of actually parenting.
Her strength and determination is infectious but it's so, so sad. Those of us who have been ignored and invalidated, for 25 years in my case, feel like there's little hope left. I only wish someone would have intervened when I was little. Parents, PLEASE listen to what your children have to say!
+Rachel B I know. I am almost just as mad to people who witnessed abuse happening to me as I am to my mother who did it.
I'm in my thirties and still licking my wounds from a nightmarish childhood. What I understand now is that rumination will keep you stuck in the past forever. Life is short and you only have one.
So, leave the past behind and don't look back. I know that it seems impossible because your past is all you've got.
You've got to find an activity and people that will make you fall in love with the present and forget about the past. If you stay still and keep dwelling on your past, those shackles will never go away.
t
Easier said than done.
wkangaroo, the trouble is your brain needs rewiring to shut-off the fight-or-flight mechanism (complex post-traumatic stress disorder in fact). calmness and good diet and avoiding people who trigger you helps, but it's very tricky because you have hair-trigger reactions that you have to somehow calm down.
Nominating this woman for president.
for president!!
I would nominate her un-ironically for Surgeon General. This is an important topic and research/improvement here could dramatically improve healthcare.
actually fucking yes, haha, please. A person with this kind of awareness of everybody's needs to be a political actor. Not a business douche but a mental health advocate.
Adama Tova oh my gosh yes!! Ill vote for her!! It's a real problem!!!
A doctor wouldn't be a good president. The president controls the whole country and doesn't pay a lot of attention to specific health problems. We need legislation to implement these tests.
Oh man I could listen to this lady talk for another 3 hours!
Same! Her voice is so engaging!
This needs a billion views
What I spend 90% of my work with clients exploring. Childhood trauma is the cause of most of the ills of the world. All the cuts in child welfare programs, the difficulty finding child care for children under 5 or 6, our attitudes towards single mothers, and our punishment of their children, all contribute to the ills of our society, and are VERY expensive later in life (prison, cancer treatment, etc.).
After decades of work in Offender Rehabilitation, I KNOW this is true.
Ed Garren
Edward Garren Thanks for weighing in, Mr. Garren. As someone working on the front lines, you are in a clear position to know. I can only imagine the suffering that you have witnessed. Thank you for doing the work that is so necessary because our power structures *will not do the right thing*.
I wonder what approach you might suggest when faced with the deep denial of this truth by those who can't allow themselves to see it? What has your experience been when sharing what you know with those in positions of authority?
Any insight you can share will help not only me, but anyone who reads it with an open mind.
Thanks for your time,
Heather
+Edward Garren Edward, it got me thinking, do you then think, this ACE study explains why those blacks who came from generations of slaves explain they have been stuck in this cycle, not to mention the already still existing prejudice they suffer from that employers hesitate to hire them?
+blognewb Yes, Yes and Yes. One of my clients is reading "Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome." I don't know the book, but having come from a family of "Bastards" and Orphans, who lived in desperate poverty and lack of a larger family infrastructure, I know this is true. Family therapy looks at three generations of a family's emotional infrastructure. I often remind clients that Black people in this country didn't even have access to decent housing until 40 years ago. The ghosts of our grandparents lives inside of us. And, the United States is a nation of genocide survivors (in the "old" countries our ancestors came from). We brought all that pain with us, along with the fears, which is why so many of us are so fearful. What was going on in Europe for the 300 years that North America "infilled" was things like the inquisition, class genocide, torture, and enslavement of anyone who didn't own land, which was most of the populace then and there. So the dark side of that history lives in us. Donald Trump being the "poster boy" for a lot of it. Barbara Boxer said it best, "The Republican Party is the politics of fear."
It's what I've been saying about my criminal clients for years. They usually are broken human beings.
Edward Garren thanks fot your honesty
Give this lady a medal.
Lukáš Hankey yes...
Yeah, for her beautiful skin, apparently...
🔖🥇🏅🎖️🏆
I think we all need professional counseling, to be honest. There a stigma about people who have their own therapists, as if they're crazy, but I think not enough people have one.
I don't think everyone needs professional counseling. I think not enough people have counselors.
i tell everyone i know to get a therapist
Yes, maybe that's what responsible television should be about ... because we already know how very effective it is at shaping the mind.
True.
If only 1/4 of us could afford to have one
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
This Woman is a pioneer.
And you're a prophet.
And I'm a hero.
We need more people like her that actually care ❤
This young lady is so spot on. I had a traumatic and cruel childhood. Beaten and unloved by strangers. I grew into adulthood thinking I was not worthy of life itself. Every time I tried to achieve something for myself, I saw myself as a failure. However, I met my husband and he turned life around for me. Gradually, over the years I achieved success in my career along with improved health. I will take to the grave the years of abuse I suffered and the frustration knowing that my mind could have accomplished so much more from life had I had the love and security which, rightfully, should be every child’s right.
ruclips.net/video/mCy6M3XsGzQ/видео.html
You can heal from trauma, it's all about getting to the root cause and changing the beliefs you have in your mind to more empowering ones. I help clients do this in a 2 hour session. I have tons of testimonials. Send me a DM on www.instragram.com/rosaleanbatool
yes every child deserves to be loved and cared for, unfortunately, some adults don't realise that, and how they're every action and care they give can make their child future brighter and easier, instead they just blame it on other things and ignore the root cause
Brilliant. She covered systemic racism, cognitive dissonance, and child development in one lecture without pointing a finger.
Engine9 poverty and bad childhoods don’t exclude any race
yazmin gutierrez right. Universally, but not systematically. I guess you don’t understand to context of the video or my comment and that’s fine.
Definitely did. loves the post.
She did point a finger... At Christianity. "...Who actually believe that if you 'spare the rod' you 'spoil the child.'..."
yazmin gutierrez don’t think you get the point honey but go off
This really hit home for me. My mother is an abusive narcissist, my absent father was an alcoholic, most likely due to PTSD from WWII, and my brothers and I suffered emotional, physical and sexual abuse because our mother put men above our well being. My brothers all wound up with women like our mother. The abuse continued into my 24 year marriage because of my traumatic childhood, and the grooming I endured between the ages of 8 - 11 1/2, much of it has been locked away in my mind but I get glimpses of it from time to time. I've been divorced for 14 years and am still recovering from all of it. My health issues are definitely related to all the traumatic events. I am a firm believer in the bodys ability to heal and I am constantly seeing improvement. Slow and steady wins the race. Blessings to all in love and light. 🙏🏼💜🙏🏼💙🙏🏼💛🙏🏼💚🙏🏼🧡🙏🏼
Thank God for this, I was abused constantly by my parents and I feel completely lost. Go figure I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child too because my behavior was "unacceptable"
+Cory Chapman Wow...This video makes me view things so much more different.
+Cory Chapman I feel for you. Recently diagnosed with ADHD. Until now my mom still say I needed to be hit because I was a naughty kid. Interestingly, when Im going through therapy now and re-examine my abusive childhood, my ADHD symptom does decrease.
Cory you did not deserve that , and it is a complete tragedy .......you can heal and you can hope
Yeah my brother was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD while I was diagnosed with ADD.
Read Alice Miller and Arthur Janov! They saved me.
I would love to tell my entire story to someone who seems to care. My Aunt is two years younger than me growing up. CPS FAILED us completely. She had to watch while I took the physical violence. Also, sexual violence growing up. My mother was mentally ill and drug dependent. Severely. She would self medicate all the time. She had bi-polar with these fits of rage. She released rage on us all growing up. Yes, to her young sister(again, my Aunt but more like my sister) Two months before her death she decided she wanted to be my mom. Then she died young at 41. Then I was in a domestic violence situation for about 11 years. The DV ruined my life, physically. Now I'm 38 and live on disability due to him hurting my back. I've had 5 back surgeries since meeting this guy. Therapy says it's a cycle.
My family literally tells me....'I'm surprised you didn't grow up to be a serial killer."!! Seriously yes, it was that bad. I survived it and finally forgave.
Thanks.
That is awful what you went through and you did not deserve that noone does. Wow I don't know if I could forgive so you are very courageous for that alone. How are you doing now? are you getting enough support from family, friends, counselling etc. Also did you report your ex partner to the police?
@The Disables Beauty I hope you're doing much better now and kudos for the tremendous effort you put in. I don't know that I'd be that strong. And stop labelling yourself disabkes. A rose by any other name is still a rose. Much love.
The single best thing I did to deal with my childhood trauma was to face it and start writing about it. I wrote a book about my difficult relationship with my father and actually uncovered many fascinating facts about his life in WW2, among other things.
this is amazing. "Personal inventory flection"
Thats inspiring, but I don't know how to get to the point where facing the trauma doesn't trigger panic attacks.
For Whitney: I don't have any magic solutions for you, the best I can suggest is that you probably need to find another path to healing. If you can, get a counsellor whom you trust and who is competent and whose personality meshes with yours.
If that's not an option, then I think there is a lot to be said for building your own positive thing. Your "positive thing" might be art or music or writing about how things might be in a good world. It might be caring for animals or perhaps training care dogs. Your "positive thing" might be a defence for others against the abuse you suffered, for example, working at getting legislation passed that bans the use of corporal punishment on children.
That sounds like a very heathy strategy. Good on you !!!
That is very interesting way to deal
We are still watching this 8 yrs later trying to help ourselves and now our children
This is very insightful. I would petition to add poverty/survival insecurity to that trauma list.
Poverty often begets neglect, too. I agree. It really should be added.
True. How is food insecurity not a question? I took the test online, and it's very general. It's a good start, but it doesn't paint the whole picture.
I think daily wondering where you're going to sleep, and if you're going to eat, can easily cause the same amount of stress response as neglectful parenting or absent parenting, which are questions on the ACE
Windchime and Witchball and also over policing /militarized state neighborhoods
YES!!! @Windchime and Witchball
Windchime and Witchball yes!!!!!!! Omg was originally thinking that when the first came on. Your so right
She's so intelligent and well spoken and she doesn't go over your head the way you would expect a doctor to when communicating with multiple individuals.
It’s way deeper than this. If you can, for those who are interested please read this journal by AARM on addiction and childhood trauma. Lack of parental affection coupled with the repeated exposure to toxic stress actually damages the brain’s opioid and dopamine receptors, and overall ability to produce certain “good” hormones overall, that are related to stress, motivation, and sense of tranquility. People who are exposed to ACES actually produce less feel good hormones overall and their brains do not react to dopamine and opioids very efficiently, which leads to them being unable to feel pleasure in everyday life without the additional substance to make up for what their brain lacks. This is so often why addicts come from abusive homes. They’re overcompensating for brain maldevelopment.
The impact of early childhood development is so so so important. It’s why when you’re this hyper aware of all the nuance and in between it can be so challenging to be in the company of people who think nothing about teasing, yelling or spanking their kids. Letting their newborns cry themselves to sleep, or who restrict affection from fear they’ll soften their sons.
Kæla Brown is there a link I’m missing?
Kæla Brown saaaaaa
Link please, im with you
I agree being in the company of child abusers is painful for me - very painful (sometimes causes panic attacks, muscle spasms, falling over type of painful)
Wow, this is very enlightening Kaela (re: damage to opioid and dopamine receptors). And it makes sense to me. I suffer the effects of childhood trauma and, thanks to a very capable therapist, I was able to understand that I had developed strong negative neuropathways (and that it would take time and effort to develop new and more positive pathways). Even with that, I couldn't understand why I'm still having difficulty gaining satisfaction in things long term. So it makes perfect sense that I may not be able to either make sufficient "good" hormones, and that those receptors may be damaged. Currently, I'm looking at adding foods to my diet that supposedly have chemical structures similar to dopamine, such as eggs, non-processed meats, walnuts, omega-3 fish, etc. Lastly, are there any studies or information that discuss how to reverse these effects in adulthood? Thanks.
I just took the test and my ACE score was 10/10. I feel like this explains so much about my health issues and constant level of stress. I've been very far removed from that part of my life for a lot of years now but the underlying anxiety is always there. The one thing that makes me feel better is knowing my children's childhood is nothing like my own in any way. I have used my experiences to push myself to do better.
Wow that talk hit home for me, it was awesome. I suffered at the hand of my father. He emotionally and verbally abused me . There were times when he physically abused me too, but the worst abuse was the sexual abuse. I was a sick kid. I always got colds and the flu, because of that I was off school quite often, my mum would look after me, she was a great mum, she protected me from my father. When I was 11 years old my mother died and I was left with the monster who had all the power and he used every bit of it against me. The trauma made me sick, I got every bug that was out there, I got asthma and my school work was shocking, I didn’t see why I needed to learn about people landing on the moon or algebra when I was going home to the monster.
Hearing that kids that are abused get sicker than most, that was a wonderful eye opener for me. The thing that made me different from other kids, and I hate this difference because it still effects me today, is my economic state, my father was rich, I went to the best private schools and I even got to go to a private boarding school which was absolutely wonderful and a dream come true until the monster would ring me and make me feel so guilty to be away from him and not looking after him. No one picked up on the abuse, I was even told by a teacher that I was so lucky to be in such a loving family because my dad sent me to a private school even though my mother had passed away, she thought my dad was great. My long winded post (sorry about that) is that there are people in my situation that are falling through the cracks because they come from a wealthy family, please don’t forget about people like me. I know that most of the attention needs to be on the kids that are struggling to make ends meet, I’m not saying they are less important than me because they arent they need the help and understanding more than me what I’m trying to say is abuse happens in all groups in society, some a lot more than others and they need the care offered because they are desperate.
I guess what I’m saying is the silent killer is out there is many groups of society. I tried to speak out once and I was laughed at and told to keep my lies to myself. Present day is a struggle for me, I have bipolar, PTSD, and crippling depression , life is a daily struggle, but I’ll get better I know I will.
Hi Kathy! I'm Lily and I just wanted to say I praise you for being so strong and sharing your story. My mom also passed away, so I can relate to you about how hard it is. My dad however, is a great one but we still have our problems. I can't imagine what it was like for you when you were younger with no parent to guide you or be there for you and you are so brave!! I seriously look up to you as inspiration and things WILL and ARE going to get better.
Don't give up. Keep looking for the beauty. Take one day at a time and find a good community (perhaps you can afford "Therapy," but healthy community can also help us heal. Slowly build healthy relationships. Trust comes slowly. Keep the bears out, but be careful to let the good people in to love you gently. Set your own boundaries, know yourself and learn to love. Do decent self-care such as yoga or biking or long walks. Light a candle each morning and just sit with your own thoughts and feel your breath, a gift just for you. I care.
Don't give up. Keep looking for the beauty. Take one day at a time and find a good community (perhaps you can afford "Therapy," but healthy community can also help us heal. Slowly build healthy relationships. Trust comes slowly. Keep the bears out, but be careful to let the good people in to love you gently. Set your own boundaries, know yourself and learn to love. Do decent self-care such as yoga or biking or long walks. Light a candle each morning and just sit with your own thoughts and feel your breath, a gift just for you. I care.
Don't give up. Keep looking for the beauty. Take one day at a time and find a good community (perhaps you can afford "Therapy," but healthy community can also help us heal. Slowly build healthy relationships. Trust comes slowly. Keep the bears out, but be careful to let the good people in to love you gently. Set your own boundaries, know yourself and learn to love. Do decent self-care such as yoga or biking or long walks. Light a candle each morning and just sit with your own thoughts and feel your breath, a gift just for you. I care.
I pray for you, I speak healing over you in the Name of Jesus Christ.
Sexually abused as a child led me to be depressed, anorexic and obese throughout my teenage years. I went days without food or I went days without speaking to anyone most times it was both.
It made sense for me as well , deep inside i always knew there was a connection .It's what we do with this information that matters , we can help ourselves be more comfortable and pass this knowledge with others because quality of life matters and living is more than being alive.
You are not alone. A study into obesity in women found that the #1 correlation was with sexual abuse. They weren't looking for that, it just came out of the data.
Pls help
ruclips.net/video/8kfGaVAXeMY/видео.html
Same thing happened to me but I tend to internalize and put on a mask and make everyone think all is well until I eventually break down from the strain.
Good to know science is finally learning that parenting is the most important job in the world and needs practices like nationwide routine screening and multidisciplinary teams to better encourage and equip them to be people that truly usher in a healthy global community. All work places ought to be putting the development of parents and the well being of families at the top of their business growth strategies. Thanks Nadine for leading the movement to reframe reality to center on what matters most - our precious children / future.
I Agree but I'm very leary about "global communities" - Independent states should function autonomously, but harmoniously. And even more about suggesting professionals have "The Answers" for parents. There needs to be respect for the parents - because MOST parents are good ones AND I'll step out and say ALL parents WANT to be good ones, regardless of thier issues. That's a slippery slope of providing "help" to parents (to anyone really historically abused) and checks and balances Def need to be in place. But this talk and this Dr. totally on point. Thing should be carefully implementated to address this.
I agree and more men need to be more supportive of women being at home with the children.
Parenting is very important, and we need to make it equal to careers/making higher income. Women should be able to work if they chose to, but we need to leave an adequate amount of time and energy for our children as well, or the television, other classmates and other influences will raise them, which isn't always good. I see so many parents working, stressed, too busy to breathe, so they are much less attuned to maintaining a healthy relationship with their children, spending time with them and teaching them how to cope or handle their own needs. This is so vital especially when children get older. That type of parenting makes all the difference, between producing a child who isn't even sure they want to go to college, or what to study or do vs. a child who has a much better idea of their strengths and interests and eagerly heads out that door at age 18 to figure it out. What parent doesn't want the latter for their child? You have to take parenting seriously to produce such a child. Ambitious, confident, healthy children don't just happen. It's true for a rare few, a child will preservere through adversity and flourish, but we can't bank on this for any child, especially since that child will have to work very hard to attain wisdom and introspective skills at a much earlier age, in order to process their past and move on. Those are unique gifts hard earned, but it still takes a lifetime for anyone to make closure with trauma.
Dee Jay
You need to check your sources. Where did you get the idea that all parents want to be good ones? Lalaland my friend. Snap out of it.
I have a very high ACE score. But during one of my suicide attempts in my early 20's (first was at 15), I began therapy and that sparked my journey to heal my past traumas. I have experienced already a lot of the mental disorders due to my adversities along with digestion issues and other various conditions that can easily be connected to my childhood. I really believe this movement needs to grow so our children and their children don't grow up miserable or with health issues. I'm currently working on the workbook The Child Adversity Experiences (may have that incorrect) but its nice to know there is hope. Much love to those that live with their adversities today!
I'm now a senior, with an ACE score above 4 in my childhood. Listening to this talk, I was filled with gratitude for the other adults in my life (teachers, neighbors.) who gave me a different relationship that was healthy and loving. They were a refuge and a positive example of a better way of living who influenced my life and health in a good way.
I love the last sentence of Dr. Harris. "We are the movement".
I thank those people too...... And because of them I was able to live a reasonablely normal life... Although I have suffered from substance abuse and eating disorders throughout my life.... I turned it around and became one of those people who were there for me and now I am a teacher who can see those who have also suffered childhood trauma.... They gravitate towards me as I am too them.
“We don’t want to look at it. We’d rather be sick.”
Yellow yep!! And keep feeding us medicine. I’m glad she said she wants to educate the parents
I agree sometimes thinking about it makes you even more sick!
Some people want to look at it but don't have the funds or support to do so. As a society you're right but individually I disagree. 9/10 times people are left on their own to deal with it, they can't expect support from the very people who are at fault or the ones who also endured the same thing as they also don't have the support to heal as they can't connect with other people because of the trauma they put their shield up and end up alone. Some seek help, but it's only there for so long until you need money to continue, so they have no other option.
Her passion gives me chills!
Her voice is so HERS, that I'm wondering how to get my voice to be MINE like that.
Her passion is indeed thrilling.
Actually sobbing because I feel SO heard.
She described it amazingly, She is amazing 🥺
25 now. Never say it out loud because I've been taught not to, but I'm pretty much a recluse and can't function.
You should say it out loud. Being taught not to say things makes you more reclusive. So don't follow those rules.
Lesley Smith... There is hope! I know, cuz I was able to overcome an entire childhood of physical and emotional abuse... including nearly being killed by my mother in a fit of rage when I was 8. I found a great chiropractor who does NET (neuro emotional technique), which neutralizes/dissolves the effects of trauma. I'm living proof it works -- I could never talk about my past before, was very withdrawn, didn't want to be around people, etc ... In my 50s now and finally free of the past and free to be myself , only wish I had gotten this help 20 years ago. So hang in there! And if you can't afford a NET doc, check into EFT ... Emotional freedom technique... It's free, easy, effective, and can do it yourself ... Lots of info and instructions on the net about it.
*Hugs* There is hope Lesley! Please don't be too hard on yourself. Trust in the light that is still inside of you. Feed it with love, and nurture and heal your inner child so that amazing adult you can shine through! I am rooting for you!
You can’t function because people either told you you don’t have the means or willpower to function, or because your experiences placed you in a position of dependence. You CAN function. You CAN survive AND thrive. Reparent yourself to do just that.
thank you
Wonderful talk amd incredibly important. This is so true: "We marginalize this issue because it does effect us." Yes, we don't want to think that our parents weren't perfect or that we ourselves have negatively effected our children. But once you know better, do better. Children are the most vulnerable among us; let's treat them like that.
Speak English With Vanessa I’m ahead of the game then because I accept my parents weren’t perfect with open arms. Yes, I know they loved me, and did the best they could in my rearing, but while there are things they did to affect my outcome as a adult in a positive way, there were things they did that I myself won’t be doing when I finally mother some babies. Nope. I was at the understanding that most people think this way. Hmmmmm.
Then maybe the issue isn't "marginalized" but "normalized". We're numb to this sort of thing and so we don't think it can actually do any harm. I can say with absolute certainty that it can do significant harm that you may not even NOTICE until many years into your own adult life. Thank you Dr. Harris.
Speak English With Vanessa Some people still don't know better ...
Jason G
I totally agree with you
It's unbelivable yet true
Some non ecperts would not believe or suspect the person is pretending or acting !! 😕😨
Kæla Brown
One question
What are all those lonely people doing now ? (Doing today) on the Planet ??
Employed? Have activities? Friends? Home?
Basic living standards ?!
I can't begin to describe the silent cry of suffering I went through in my life. Yes, both of my parents where caucasian and college educated but not in way to raise a child. I was very abused in many categories until my early twenties but I was able to overcome it with practice of breathing,meditation, yoga and healthy life style. And in spite of my efforts for over 20 years now two of my daughters are exhibiting some of health and mental conditions I used to have without themselves experiencing the abuse. It seem like it's also passing to future generations as well. I feel happy that science has finally discovered that!
It's unfortunate that you discovered the effects of child abuse that pass down generations after you had your children. My dad suffers from PTSD, and the problem with parents that have mental disorders is that those parents can be abusive to their children without even knowing it. And that makes the kids have mental disorders, and if they have kids, they could get mental disorders.
I think the Bible discusses it to an extent. The sins of the father pass on for generations. I'm not a religious person, but I think stories and fables contain wisdom science can "prove" and then utilize for the public good. Stories last for generations for a reason.
Or you're actually cause they distress too.
This is concerning.
I have researched Epigenetics and at one lecture the speaker informed us that she had been told by a nurse that had been involved in research on prisoners and their DNA.
It was found that each prisoner had a 'scar' on their DNA and that 'scar' was seen in other prisoners with the same crime.
One prisoner was a paedophile and his offspring had their DNA tested and the 'scar' was there too.
The theory was that the 'scar' could make you more likely to offend in that area, if tempted.
This happened to my foster uncle. His dad was a pedo, the Welfare system had pedo in and he did it to his own boy. Then he committed suicide.
I don't know how many generations of my family were affected by childhood abuse of all 3 main types but I have stopped all 3. I have never abused my children because I am very empathic and feel people's pain as my own.
Because of my poor upbringing I tried to complete a degree on Childhood development but was too poor to finish it.
When I had my first child I went on a Parenting course that really helped to learn how to praise my children. As I had had a narcissist parent I didn't know how to.
But both my children are suffering over reactions to stress and anxiety and it is affecting a Genetic disorder in our bodies
I suspect they have the 'scar' in their DNA that was inflicted onto mine.
It is going to take a miracle to heal these wounds in our DNA.
Then as a Targeted individual that carried on the abuse from a small selection of society, my adrenals are shot. We had to move country just to survive. Even my pets show the T.I. abuse has stressed them too.
I have no idea how to heal us.
But I have proved just because one was abused as a child one does not have to abuse the next generation
@@AriesJedi ur last line is true and impactful
This was an amazing topic that does not get addressed often enough. Childhood trauma comes in many forms and is far too often overlooked. All of those involved in a child's life should pay close attention, because these developing brains don't have a clue on how to process it and they need guidance. Great TED Talk!
I wish I could have met someone like Dr. Harris when I was a child. Either that or have been born to more humane parents.
NoireFox Same here !
Me too!
Nadine Burke recently had a baby !!!! Congats Nadine to you and your family :)
ShiningStar77.
I grew up in a home with domestic violence and an alcoholic/mentally ill mother. I really didn’t know that this sort of thing could mess someone up so much. For me, it was normal. I always just put in headphones, blast my music, and learned to ignore it... most of the time. This video definitely gave me some courage to open up because apparently it could kill me pretty quick if I don’t. I’ve always been against having children due to the fear of me turning into my mother. I would never want my child to live through what I did. My family says my brother and I should be serious drug addicts or something by now lol. But watching this gave me hope; maybe there is a future for me out there somewhere.
Yes, Believe in you. Love comes from within
You have a future!!!!
"...And the bear comes home every night."
Brilliant speech.
There was a bear at my house.
So so so so true. I am 65 and the bear has been with me my entire life. Aniexty depression addiction isolation inability to have a normal intimate relationship a search for a person and desire for a person who caused me stress for so many years and experiencing the same pain over and over again.
Spot on from my abuse. Trauma: the body remembers. My mind is daily likened to navigating a mine field in the middle of a category 5 hurricane and when I sleep the night terrors are worse. I am 44, it sucks.
Erin Fleming efsctly
I weep heavily every time I listen to this phenomenal presentation.for the children who were never validated, were treated like trash, unimportant, and abused by the very ones charged with their care. This woman is speaking 100% truth. I know this by experience. I weep for the scared little boy who had no one to turn to. I weep for those who want to escape but can't. May they get the chance to survive to thrive.