This is a fun channel. Perhaps an episode can expound on why men and/or women are choosing more often not to get married and simply live together. Is it a misunderstanding of the value of commitment and marriage I wonder?
I may try the Factor as I'm looking for meal alternates. As far as the list goes, there may be other topics or levels. "the way you dress" is sort of a subset of overall presence: posture, being clean, taking care or yourself. Also, not getting upset easily and looking stable has value. Having interests and goals, being able to talk about them, and other traits may be of interest. So too are not having bad elements like not being a drug/booze abuser, not being a physical abuser, no road rage. Being kind, decent, but not a pushover have some value.
A) Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air B) Samuel "Screech" Powers from Saved by the Bell C) Steve Urkel from Family Matters Question: If you had to choose, which of these characters would you date?
Perhaps a video on how race/ethnicity and culture can play a big part of who we date like people don’t get chosen because of this all the time on all levels ppl will swipe left before they even read or look at your pics because of your race ask females to go into depth about that one
@@aqmohra4 True. You can be the kindest person in the world, but if you don't have the top 3 factors which are 1)Be attractive 2)Be tall 3)Be rich, then nothing else you do will matter.
The problem with asking women about what they find attractive in a man is that they rarely consciously understand what it is that is actually turning them on. I believe the true answer in almost all cases is 'competence'. Physical competence. Social competence. Financial competence. Mental and emotional competence. I firmly believe 'competence' is to men what 'physical beauty' is to women.
You don't ask a fish how to catch fish. There other channels that bring girls on and ask them what they find attractive in a guy and what makes them want to commit long term to them. Besides naming the obvious looks and money, they have no clue as to what else they would want in a guy and its mind blowing and astounding how clueless they are
if you've ever spent anytime around or known any "Chads" you'd realize that none of this matters. If women are strongly physically attracted to you then you can live in a cardboard box and have zero social skills and you will be swimming in top tier pussy. Women throw themselves at men they are physically into
Important things as well: 1:47 First thing - The way you dress; 3:29 Second thing - Sociability; 5:42 so true about the interaction as well, because it may tell a lot; 6:03 Third thing - Conviction; 7:00 agree with the values that you say Courtney; 7:07 Forth thing - Communication; 7:47 effective communication is very important and crucial as well; 9:17 Fifth thing - Integrity; 09:59 I have heard for that, and I understand it at all, because the deeds are to be watched, and not just the words; 10:22 Sixth thing - Humor; and 10:56 agree with the humor as well. Introvert is so true, because there are things that aren't for all to hear. Now some of you will ask why. It's because some will abuse the things that we say (honor exceptions to those who do not behave like this). But that is one other topic that we will discuss about it as well. In all of the mentioned things that you have told there Courtney, I can add the seventh, and the eight thing as well. And those are: The way how can men take care of children as well; and The gentlemanly behavior (let's call it that way), meaning how is he behaving like a gentlemen as well. All in all the deeds are the important things as well, and also charisma that men shows, emits, shine, etc (Believe it or not). Happy Easter dear people.
Being a man of your word is for sure something that a good woman will desire and find attractive. Integrity just makes you come across as more mature than those who lack it, as well as make you stand out from the rest.
Dressing well is huge. If you want to increase your “attractiveness level” you have to start dressing well. Go on the internet, get inspiration and put in the effort. Also, you will feel more confident.
I started tie dye as a hobbie and tend to wear it every where. I do good work so I tend to make sales by wearing it when I go out. I didn't however, realize that apparently tie dye is a chick magnet. I've never had so much attention from women in my life.
@@alaunaenpunto3690ok when you go out to the city and shit, you notice how all the women are super cleaned up and shit, so what your going to want to do hey is to do the same but not as crazy as women do it but show some effort hey!
@@natthaphonnoble7946 except you can use their own bullshit logic against them "if you didn't like me at my beast you dont deserve me at my beauty" so which is it ? accept people for how they are or play the stupid fucking game thats rigged against you look awful lot like the latter, if its a date though different story if its just a ride into town nah fuck that overalls are comfier long as you dont smell like the barn your good to go and odds you'll be dirty again anyway so might as well keep them on and some chicks get turned on by grungy lookin guys..you'd be surprised. Also if a person classifies me based on what a wear and thinks they know my story just off that lol thanks for telling me you are a materialistic drone. Ive done a test i dressed nice clean shave whole 9 yards drove the VW golf i got 0 lookers 3 days later haven't showered wearing same sweater and same sweats you know not looking the freshest,but im driving the Audi and well guess what waaaaaaaaay more lookers and few women even approached me when i went to fill up i dont thinks it clothing that matters i think its the brand that matters also both cars were clean the golf has a little rust below wheel well, but its only noticeable if your looking for it. Not that matters but,If your thinking im a VW guy im not thats just how things worked out lol
Hi Courtney, I'm a recent subscriber, I've been very much enjoying your content. Thank you for being an advocate for men, a good one at that. A lot of supposed male advocates are as bad, if not worse, than the people they are supposedly fighting to protect men from. I've been with my other half 10+ years now, some of these videos make me all the more glad I don't have to engage with current dating culture! I think what you're doing is genuinely very important, people need a reminder of reality more than ever these days. I'm from the UK (Northern Ireland in particular), and while I'm far removed from dating, from what I hear, I believe that things are much more grounded amongst most young men and women here. There is definitely a vein of people who fall into the bad trends seen in your videos, but the detachment from reality hasn't spread quite so far.
Yup, keeping it simple with outfits. It has taken a long time since relocating to finally build my network, but I got friends with similar interests, and now part of a group of regulars that do karaoke. Also making plans to see them outside of that. This video Courtney, you nailed it! I can't stress communication enough, as well as your conviction. Happy Easter
From what Ive learned from this vlog, being good looking is the key determinator. Women choose the best looking guy as long as he doesn’t have any overriding negative. As long as he’s not too far behind, he wins. Sounds like the way men choose who they pursue.
Agreed. Now if a guy is less than attractive, but he also happened to have a good variety of stylish outfits, do you think women would still be swooning over him in the comments on a Tik Tok video?
@@ATMAnubis I don't think so. I appreciate the pointers provided by Courtney but if the girl isn't at the very least attracted to you in the first place, these traits won't matter at all. This is because it takes time to understand a person and to see their good and bad side, for example, you work with them or both of you are in a setting where you interact with each other almost every day. When girls already rejected you before even getting to know you, it won't matter if you possess the qualities of a good man.
It doesn't help that studies have shown that the majority of women find 80% of men "unattractive". Factor out the married, gay, too young, too old, too short and women are competing for about the top 5% of guys.
Shy and introverted are not always synonymous. An Alpha/extrovert man can be shy around women. Seen it many times in military men. I have always been a Tshirt and jeans guy. Yes I have dress clothes (slacks, button down shirts, dress shoes, even ties-ick) that are very rarely worn. Decades ago I was having a conversation about how I dress with a woman friend and was surprised to hear that she thought I dressed "well". She says I'm always looking put together, color matching (I would sometimes wear colored tees and/or cords). You don't need to be "trendy", unless you are actually interested in trendy fashion. You only need to look like you care what you look like. You are going to be more confident in familiar clothes than some "outfit", unless you wear an outfit all the time. If Tshirt and jeans are your outfit, then rock them, clean and crisp. Question: Corduroy jeans used to be popular, nice change from jeans, several colors. I can't remember the last time I saw them in a store. They are gone? 86ed from the casual fashion either? They were a step between jeans and Dockers. A jeans and Tshirt guy could literally double his wardrobe with 1 pair of cords.
Happy Easter everyone. There's one thing that I do that my wife thinks is hot/attractive and it's when I use my different voices to make her laugh or cheer her up. And I do love the fact that we can both make each other laugh at our jokes
I’m a very introverted person, but after a breakup I taught myself to talk to people. It turned out to be pretty easy with a little existential loneliness as motivation. I think the most obvious example of my newfound social outbursts was when I was on a school trip, and I saw one of the first years of my college sitting alone as the only one alone on the whole bus. I went to sit next to her for a few minutes saying, “Hi, I saw you were sitting alone. I thought I’d talk to you…” or something along those lines. We had a short talk, and I didn’t mean anything flirtatious by it, just friendly introductions and getting to know more people. Then I went back to my previous spot. Me and that first year are now dating and I honestly have no clue how this happened. 🤷♂️ Sociability, everyone. It seems to work! …along with Courtney’s other tips, because since applying them, apparently I’m hot.
For some women I've seen and talked to, they responded to a guy talking about what interests and motivates him, especially when done without apologies for liking what they like. The word "passion" is overused, but rather I'd say it is a sense of ambition, personal drive and discipline, and having a defined interest and goal. "Having a goal and working towards it" seems to get a lot of attention. Not just talking about it (and big talk abotu a book or some project), but doing it, and being excited about that goal and subject. This could be anything, the more active the interest, the better. For example, "watching sports" is mildly okay, but that is passive. Doing sports is far better.
I've never understood that obsession by women with extroverts... I understand a preference for sociable people, but choosing a guy 'because of that' is just nonsense.
It's funny that you said that yesterday on my way to my bass guitar lesson, I was complimented by my outfit, and from their we exchanged out social media. But yes, fellas, your attire said a lot about you. In the wise words of James Brown, "Look good, smell good, feel good. Thank you Ms Ryan for highlighting this.
I agree with Courtney's points, and as far as I know, based on the feedback from women in my social circle who liked me, one major factor was calmness. They seem to like a guy who doesn't display a lot of neuroticism.
I'm a guy and I when I say I need a partner who has a sense of humor, it means the same thing as when women say it. I really value a partner who can also make me laugh and can come up with some witty jokes and comments of her own. Not comedian level but just ... it warms my heart a lot when a girl can not take life too seriously sometimes and keep up with my humor too. First comment but long time viewer. Courtney, love your content and professionalism and most importantly the sober maturity you bring to dating advice. Free to boot, no BS. The focus on healthy, long-term, non-toxic relationships is exactly what I want. No hook-up culture PUA f-boy nonsense. Went to CWRU for undergrad but left the entire state years ago so it was cool seeing some of your Euclid on-the-street interviews. Keep up the amazing work, and I'm so happy gurus like you exist. You'll hit 1 Million subscribers soon enough.
Having a sense of humor is great as long as you don't make your partner the butt of your jokes. If you live together long enough, you will eventually tease each other about things. Be very careful about making sure it doesn't become a habit or a passive-aggresive way to get what you want.
There is a stigma associated with anti-social, I use the term non-social meaning I don't actively seek social situations, not actively avoid them. I still do social stuff and am out of the house 80ish hours a week. I just usually do my stuff by myself.
I'm trying to have these traits in my life, so hearing that good women find these traits attractive is encouraging to me! I definitely want a woman who will laugh at my jokes, but I also want a woman who makes me laugh as well. I would say this is a requirement for me. Also, Happy Easter and Resurrection Sunday!
One big problem, they still want you to act and verbally be a simp. Act and front you got all the skills and look with the beard and abd but verbally submit to her. It’s a ruse. I got it all, but I was raised by four highly educated and successful capable women and so I not only demand 6 figures form these women and to be funny themselves, but I also know all the back room convos and tricks and power plays and attention traps women do and I learned from the best. So real and lame pathetic childish women both don’t want anyone challenging them. They still don’t want any accountability. I know first hand, because I only date winners, chicks with money their earned or didn’t, doesn’t matter to me, but it’s a requirement to make the relationship better and nicer and more comfortable. Can’t have any of us struggling, but I don’t let any of them get away with any of the typical bullshit or games. I call it out, confront it, expose it verbally outright then and there and openly, not passive or dancing around the subject, and most women can not handle that. No matter the intelligence or success, if they are that type of still manipulative women even successful the. Even more importantly you need to establish boundaries even verbal one’s. It’s sad watching so many good women just keep fronting the attitude ruining good relationships and not giving good men a chance just because these men don’t let themselves get walked on even verbally and emotionally. They stand up for billshit and stop and confront it, which tells the women she’s not going to get away with a lot of the typical shit that she has in past boyfriends. But that’s her misery, she keeps the cycle of guys she can manipulate but also doesn’t respect. She looses event time with that logic. May think she sun heaven for a while sucking up his time or attention or god forbid his money but even she gets disgusted and can’t even hang around the guy for the money! Women just refuse to be accountable and act right and be cool and not mentally manipulate, always looking for some angle Orr power play, attention trap…😉🫣🤣 Sorry ladies! I’m the one guy that was taught right by my mother and sisters and they ruined all you low frequency low vibe women, my bar is way too high for y’all🤣
Straight up stick to your word. If you say your gonna do something, do it. My recent relationship that unfortunately didn't work out. While we we're dating I told her if I'm going to do something for myself, someone, someone asked me to do something else etc etc I stuck to it. I saw it as keeping truth. She fell hard for it. Unfortunately she ended up cheatin on good ol Kirk here but hey, dodged a bullet on that one 😅 there was a bunch of other red flags but we'll leave those for another time.
Completely right about introverts, I don't make friends very quickly, I can stay alone and I enjoy it, a few weeks before important exams I could even decide to never go out on weekends and meet friends, but when I'm in a group of friends or even relatives I often find myself being the one that talks the most.
Courtney, you are by far one of the best dating advice channels on RUclips. So often I feel like these dating channels give so much toxic advice to men (e.g., Fresh & Fit). I really appreciate your advice, thank you and keep it up ❤
Some women find it attractive when a man knows how to fix or help out with something. Also, singing and playing an instrument like guitar are fun skills to learn; some women find a good 'ol serenade hot
I agree with your points and would like to add a few more: 1. When a guy puts his arm around your shoulder while parallel parking😍 2. When he acts like a gentleman: opens the door for you, give you his umbrella, offers you a ride, etc. 3. A nice cologne/ perfume 4. When he is confident in himself and not desperate or clingy 5. When he practises self control (doesn't indulge in short term pleasure) 6. When he believes in God and practices his faith🙏
Courtney, you are wise beyond your years, and then some! You are articulate, thoughtful, eloquent, arudite, and speak in a flawlessly fluid mnner. Well done Courtney!
Same old advice on how to improve a man's status... I want to see a live interaction between a male and female on a date (on what to do and not to do). I believe you can make this happen Courtney Ryan. I enjoy your work and videos 😀
As far as dating is concerned… it’s really simple. It’s going to sound like a lot, but it isn’t If you’re on a date with someone you just met, here are the “don’t do’s” - never talk about religion or politics -never speak poorly of exes. You really should avoid talking about exes all together, but if it comes up… no negativity. Just keep it simple. You weren’t right for each other etc -avoid complaining and avoid negative subject matter. Nobody wants to hear your sob story 8 minutes after formally meeting you in person -careful with the complements. She isn’t an idiot. She knows you think she’s pretty. She doesn’t need you to tell her. If she is pretty, she hears it constantly anyways. Usually complements just come off as disingenuous. If you are going to compliment… be deliberate and specific. Maybe you say something nice about her outfit or hairstyle, but you can avoid it all together really unless you know that you can confidently deliver a genuine compliment - don’t try to plan your next date during the course of the current date. It comes off as needy. Do that a couple days later when you’re talking. Unless she herself brings it up on the date. If she’s telling you that she wants to see you again already… then work with her to figure out when you can do that. The things you should do - take charge when setting the date. Tell her the time and place to meet. If she’s comfortable enough with you to let you pick her up… definitely do that. You don’t even have to tell her where you are taking her, and I usually won’t if I’m driving. If they ask, I tell them “your job is to look pretty and be ready at 7. I’ll handle the rest”. That usually works well. Some push back more than others -don’t talk too much, but rather try to get her talking more. If you ask questions…ask questions that she would enjoy answering. Not interview style questions. Don’t be asking favorite color or “what do you do for fun”. Some of that stuff will naturally come up, and when it does… you can ask her what she likes about whatever activity she mentions. She’ll like answering that more. - when you are talking… be funny. Be playful. Don’t be afraid to lightly roast her every once in a while (not constantly). Positive and fun subject matter only -It’s not that serious. Have the attitude that you’re going to be fine whether she likes you or not. Just don’t actually say that out loud. It’s how you carry yourself. And it comes across in the fact that you didn’t gush over her all night and try to prove yourself to her by talking constantly about all the great stuff you do. - pay for the date. It’s nice if she offers. But just pay for it - plan more than one thing for the night. Maybe you grab dinner first, and if things are going well… invite her somewhere else to grab a drink and play a game of darts the same night. -be careful with the amount of phone contact in the early stages. You don’t want to be blowing her up all day and telling her everything about yourself. If you’re texting for example… keep it light and funny and also have a reason for reaching out, like for example… setting up another date. You don’t want to be asking “how’s your day going” every damn day of the week when you just had a first date. And if you do message… wait for her to get back to you. Don’t send another message an hour later because she hasn’t responded yet. Wait for her to get back. And if/when she does… you respond when you have the time. Maybe that’s 20 minutes later. Maybe it’s an hour later. Don’t you dare immediately respond to her first message in seconds. It just looks like you were staring at the phone waiting -never bring up a relationship. Let her do that. If she likes you… she will continue to see you, and it’s only a matter of time before she starts asking “what are we” or something like that. When she starts asking… you can have that talk. You will become the creepy stalker guy if you start trying to lock her down before she knows what she wants Lastly… here is a really easy way to summarize all of this. How would you treat a guy friend or a girl that you’re not interested in? Kinda do that. Treat her like a regular person. Because she actually is a regular person. You don’t text your buddy for 6 hours a day. When you hang out with your buddy… you don’t spend all night telling your buddy how great you are or how great they look. Just have a good time. If there is an attraction there… it’ll be easy
What does it mean when a girl says a guy is sweet or really sweet and thoughtful? I was recently seeing this girl I met on a dating app. Turns out that even though I shut myself off from other options and solely focused on her because I'd feel sickened with myself for talking to more than one girl at a time. Turned out that she was seeing others and going over her options when to me, I made her be my only option. She let me down easy and said that she wasn't attracted to me but that I was really sweet and thoughtful. So I really don't think that being those things are even desirable qualities considering that she didn't clearly want to be with someone who was and yet portrayed those traits as good.
It is been my experience in dealing with so many many people, men and women, that very few people are people whose word is their contract. Everyone say that they are a men and women of their word, specially men use that phrase, but when that is tested, excuses take over. I see it over and over. I chose my words very carefully becuse I don't take them back once I say them. I am not apologetic either. People get frustrated with me when I take the time to respond because I never respond immediately after the question is been presented. I don't like say I will do X or commit to something because once I say I will, I am bound to do it. Count on it, but I don't trust everyone's word, no one's words until they follow through.
I'm guy number 2 in that sociability section. I'm good looking. Not super hot but probably an 8 on a good day. Woman and girlfriends have always told me I'm handsome. But I'm pretty antisocial. I don't like going out. Hate parties, hate bars, hate most social events. I have some friends but as I get into my 30s, I find that I often don't even wanna see them. And I'm starting to realize how much my antisocial nature puts off women. I've noticed that there's always this initial attraction that draws women to me but when they pick up on my antisocial nature, they get turned off. I've been in many relationships in the past so there's women who are willing to put up with it but not the women I truly want. I really wanna develop my social skills and finally open up more. I think when you're in your early to mid 20s, these things matter less. But it really becomes more and more important as you get older.
I'm similar to you man, mid 30s, anti social, but I wouldn't classify my self as an 8 though..maybe a 6.5 haha. I think if we're really looking for growth and genuine healing, i think we need to speak to professionals in therapy. It may help us uncover unhealed trauma from our childhoods, we might have anxious, avoidant, or anxious-avoidant attachment styles..whatever it is, I think if we seriously do the work it takes, we can progress. I've been seeing alot of "betterhelp" therapy ads online, I'm seriously considering it due to its privacy and convenience online. Best of luck to you man!
Antisocial or just introverted? I too have been told I am handsome my whole life but I was painfully shy and an introvert when I was young. When I turned 25 I found my voice, I consider myself an extrovert introvert. I personally like to be myself but I can also handle myself in a group. There are more than parties, bars and social events that can you do with a date. I took my girlfriend to iFly on our second date. We gone to Painting With a Twist, cooking classes, we enjoy bike riding together, dining out, vacationing and other activities that only involve us, still introverted but with plus 1. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years now and going strong, so it can be done.
@@rolandveloz2512 I'm really in a weird situation myself. I don't really want to go to social gatherings and situations, but when I do I kinda love it and shine in those situations. It really sucks lol.
My 6 lol: Dressing well Keeping a cool head Zercher deadlifting Not tapping out first Self control Walking, talking, and taking action with authority (alpha vibes)
@@mharrtj6350 Not being the one to fold first. In a fight tapping out means to yield to your opponent to make him stop and thus forefit. In a sense never be the one to get one upped by the other guy.
@@mharrtj6350 yeah in the contact sport of the mattress not the mat it is important that you can go multiple rounds while being the first to not tap out. It's something that will greatly be appreciated so you better work on your conditioning hahaha I mean Courtney did title the video 6 things women absolutely love so there you go
Know there is such thing as the halo effect so if she finds you attractive in general, most things you do will inheritably be 'hot' to her (obviously not all like I don't think anyone would find someone idk kicking kittens hot...maybe); though courtney does cover a lot of general things pretty well here
Thank you for making the distinction regarding introverts. While its obvious the other talking points were common sense, I hope anyone here realizes they may lack some of these things and seriously looks into why.
When it coems to sense of humor. I like it to be a mutual thing. I think it's awesome when we can both be funny. I also appreciate someone with healthy sense of sarcasm.
Integrity to your inner circle, being a beast and trickster outside of that is important. There is psychology report saying, too much integrity makes you unattractive. Because he is going to lose in the market, and women will feel unfair if he doesn't give all resources on her, and lose opportunity to gain resources because of mild inconvenience that challenges his value and needed to share him with others. Don't overestimate value nowadays.
Integrity is great, but no one cares about a man's integrity unless he has some shallow useless traits like being an extrovert all the time or being popular, as if that gave him skills for keeping a relationship going.
Conviction and communication and integrity are important-I am old enough to remember when so many women found preachers attractive. I think there is still something to this.
To get into what a woman 'want' is a no ending headache. Because women don't know themeselves. And they will hate you for the effort. Don't ask me why. No logic here. But that's how it is. It seems to me that 'less is more'. The less you care, the more they care. Something like that.
A sense of humor is so important to me. Not just to laugh at my jokes or just to make her laugh all the time, also when she cracks jokes back & makes me laugh just as much. If you can't laugh at yourself or each other & have fun, what's the point?
For me i genuinely like when a girl is funny in her way and is not afraid to show it. I’m attracted to that type of energy because I think most women don’t always show their comedy side in the beginning. That’s one of the most boldest thing a woman can do that i see. And comedy is the true key to building any relationship no matter how long ago two people introduced theirselves to each other
Correct. None of these tips apply to average or unattractive men. Glasses are sexy... on a hot guy. Bespoke suits are sexy... on a hot guy. Ripped jeans and a white tee are sexy... on a hot guy. Beards are sexy on a hot guy, and clean shaven is sexy on a hot guy. But none of these get you through the door if you're not already a hot guy. Sociability, conviction, communication, integrity, humor, these too are all indeed sexy qualities in an already hot guy, but none of them will get a homely guy through the door. Halo effect combined with misattribution. Classic example: hot guys are perceived as relatively funnier by women, but the funny is not the cause, but rather the effect. That's why Danny DeVito can spend decades honing his chops to become literally the funniest man on the planet, and it won't make him any more attractive in the slightest.
You will always be attractive to somebody, and it’s not the number 1 factor. Every ugly dude i saw outmatched me by 10x in the beautiful girls they had, most are too afraid to talk to me. And Less attractive dudes tend to have better confidence personality wise than i do.
In my personal experience, at 42 years old, all the women I've ever dated have shared the same things they've found attractive in me. I feel it's pretty general, but they are security (they feel safe/protected around me), my quiet confidence, the ability to lead and make decisions, being a good father, hardwork and being extremely handy, good relationship with God, knowing when to just listen and of course the confidence in the bedroom just to name a few.
As a man who has been losing his hair since teenage years, that keeps myself and most guys from ever really getting very far even if the other stuff is handled. Guys don't want to be metrosexuals in general. Of course women value men with high social skills, it displays dominance and that he "just gets it". Women use preselection, other people's opinions of him, via status and other variables, including other women finding him attracted as a reason for *herself* to also think he is appealing. Women are a hive mind, and this was an evolved trait to sort out the best guys. Let's be real though most guys aren't meeting people or around people anymore for these things to even be on display. People have jobs, responsibilities, etc, they aren't all out just randomly getting together with and around people, especially guys. Most men are not social, and the ones that are tend to have psychopathic traits.
Being social is more than just status. It’s about being connected and having access to resources outside of your own. Women know that a guy with alliances will be able to get them through a drought even if they run out of resources. It also shows that you know how to trade your skills and resources to your advantage, because adults don’t usually network unless there’s something to gain from each other. So you’re conveying value in that way too.
Very excellent point!! Aswell as potential future partners, a lot of girls after breaking up with you, may get with someone within your “friend” group, i’ve seen it enough times to know there is some connection, tho i could be wrong…..
Fantastic advice! My wife actively resists laughing when I saw something funny. She can also watch a hilarious show like she's watching a spreadsheet. Most of her laughter is the nervous sort I see most and mostly women do.
happy easter y’all! not to make it deep but pretty happy to be part of humanity. i think we’re great despite our flaws. let’s enjoy today and have one of the best days of our freadging lives cause we DESERVE IT! 🤬 love you all
If a guy is less than attractive, but he also happened to have a good variety of stylish outfits, do you think women would still be swooning over him in the comments on a Tik Tok video?
When women laugh it makes me feel great about myself but for me personally if the woman can make me laugh that is easily one of the sexiest traits. It goes both ways for sure. A sense of humor definitely makes us guys swoon just as much if not more.
When young, the Farrelly Brothers divided girls with a sense of humour into "GSOH, she laughs at jokes" and "GSOH she tells jokes", it's on the "Something about Mary" DVD commentary and Mary is a "she tells them" and they think that's perfect. I would say that men prefer someone who can joke too, but it's so unusual in women that it's not really a deal breaker.
I’m over here in Warsaw Poland. They celebrate Easter over here. And on Monday if your caught slipping with your guard down people will pour water on you. I’m not going outside tomorrow 😂
Communication is so important to me. I think most problems can be solved by talking them out but more important listening to the other person. Before they develope into bigger problems. I know speaking for me I think I am clear as to what I am saying but a lot of times I am misunderstood. I wind up having to clarifing myself. Since I never get offended and respect someone who is honest with me I have no problem explaining what I ment. As long as it is repectful. My late wife could not or would not do this. That is not to say I will take abuse. As an example my first love hated it when she would say something and I would say "Oh Stop". So this was such a little thing I stoped saying it. No need to get into an arguement over. Only one problem in stopping it led to something else she didn't like, then something else. What I tought was small turned into me looking weak for me and a power trip for her. I finally did ask "Is there anything about me you do like?"
If I'm dressing up, it's usually a nice pair of jeans, some dressier shoes, and a nice button down. If more casual I stick to a solid tee. I rarely have a reason to dress up though. I'd be more social I guess if I had a group of men to go and do things with. Most of the people I work with are married and basically go home and spend time with their wives/kids and never want to do anything. I'll go out on my own, but its not really social if you're by yourself. I saw something the other day that stuck with me. I'm introverted around people I don't know. But if I want to spend time with you, I can be very extroverted and relaxed.
All great tips and advices! Now, I kind of sort of have a style/genre within myself only because I like mostly 50s and 80s like music, but granted I like to be clean cut shaved and I like to look professional in my work attire and my casual attire. Also too, I personally believe that if we can master #1 on this list, eventually all the others will follow.
Thanks for your excellent videos, Courtney! I just have a question: You often mention meeting girls in a Bar. I know it's the easiest place to find a girl. However, I wonder, isn't a bar the worst place to meet a girl for a serious relationship?
Thank you for this guidance. There’s a lot of advice in the manosphere which sets men up to attract unhealthy women. Your sense of what healthy women are looking for is important.
Hey Courtney! I love you videos and you have been giving me so much help with essentially becoming higher value and learning how to properly take care of myself and become the best version of myself that I can be. In the first portion of the video you mentioned a man that dressed very well and that he wore very classic pieces, and I was wondering if the man you were talking about is Damien Broderick. I've been following him for a few months and instantly when I heard the way you were describing this man I thought it had to be him. Thank you again for the videos that you put out here for all of us!
You're absolutely correct Courtney, but the framing of these videos I always find hilarious, and sad. It's like making a 20 minute video with tips on how to nail your job interview for the position of nuclear physicist, but not mentioning that you first need a doctorate in nuclear physics, while knowing full-well that your audience struggles to even get a GED.
This is what happens when someone decides they are a dating expert just because they say so. If you watch videos on this topic from people who are educated/certified on this topic, you'll get vastly different information.
@@MikeyP109 well, in two years I've never heard her claim she is a dating expert, on the contrary, she encourages viewers to consider the opinion of professionals. As an influencer I consider her pretty accurate, so "totally different" opinions from other coaches as you mention is debatable.
I remember hearing when it comes to socializing, "People remember how you make them feel. Not what you say." So if you're someone who can make people feel good, they will remember that. Whereas, if you're a Debbie Downer and make people feel bad, they won't like that.
I guess this is part of integrity. How important or attractive is personal discipline? Being very scheduled, routine, how much do women value that in men?
Hey Courtney, I think it would be very helpful if you talk about the brands you recommend on clothing, like leather jackets or dress shirts. Btw thank you for all you’ve done for us men ❤
Check out mens warehouse or the gap. Gap has some really decent khakis in various colors. Men's warehouse I chose for shirts in the clearance section. Can never go wrong with colored khakis and button up shirt/polo with any design on it
"No." Never defer to her. Agree if you agree, but never defer. Say "no" immediately if you don't agree. This does three things: 1. It takes out the trash. If she's a narcissist or similar toxic person, she'll leave. Be glad. 2. It ensures that you won't lose your sense of self, just because you start dating or get married. 3. She will have respect for you.
I am cautious with verbal/written studies as people tend to respond with whats appropriate and not the instinct response of personable situations. what they say vs how they respond is huge, people don't normally asses themselves accurately. Though it is interesting and there is some value there.
Regarding the way men dress, I think it's because women put more effort in their looks so they enjoy a man who takes the time to do the same. I think the main problem is there is not enough knowledge for men how to be more "fashionable". And the fashion industry doesn't cater for all body types for men as much for women in all body sizes. I'm 5'6 . Things are either too big or too small. Women might think I'm not trying my best. I just don't have many options. After awhile I just give up looking around for the perfect fit.
I think what you said about humor is true in general. Most guys want a woman to laugh at their jokes more than they want a woman who makes them laugh. But for me, a woman has to be sharp and witty.
There is HUGE difference between antisocial and asocial. Asocial - don't like socializing. Antisocial - against society, breaking rules or in simple terms (very approximately), that is sociopath and to degree connected with psychopathy. Calling asocial antisocial is like calling chickenpox smallpox.
Use code COURTNEY50 to get 50% off your first Factor box at bit.ly/3Rf9BlV
Thanks Factor for Sponsoring!
This is a fun channel. Perhaps an episode can expound on why men and/or women are choosing more often not to get married and simply live together.
Is it a misunderstanding of the value of commitment and marriage I wonder?
I may try the Factor as I'm looking for meal alternates. As far as the list goes, there may be other topics or levels. "the way you dress" is sort of a subset of overall presence: posture, being clean, taking care or yourself. Also, not getting upset easily and looking stable has value. Having interests and goals, being able to talk about them, and other traits may be of interest. So too are not having bad elements like not being a drug/booze abuser, not being a physical abuser, no road rage.
Being kind, decent, but not a pushover have some value.
A) Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
B) Samuel "Screech" Powers from Saved by the Bell
C) Steve Urkel from Family Matters
Question: If you had to choose, which of these characters would you date?
Perhaps a video on how race/ethnicity and culture can play a big part of who we date like people don’t get chosen because of this all the time on all levels ppl will swipe left before they even read or look at your pics because of your race ask females to go into depth about that one
@@CaptTambo Why would one need a piece of paper to remain committed?
1) the way you dress
2) sociability
3) conviction
4) communication
5) integrity
6) humour
All lies
Women select men who will provide and protect
I got 2-6 in spades. Too bad I'm poor and bald so my chances of finding anyone are very slim.
Only if they already find you attractive. You do any of these while being short and not rich then none of these matter
@@aqmohra4 True. You can be the kindest person in the world, but if you don't have the top 3 factors which are 1)Be attractive 2)Be tall 3)Be rich, then nothing else you do will matter.
One thing the fellas love is a brief summary like this ☝
Happy Easter everyone
Happy Easter! 🤍🤍
He is risen!
@@canadianeh4792 always reaching for the top 😎
@@canadianeh4792 He is risen indeed!!
3 day weekend 👍
The problem with asking women about what they find attractive in a man is that they rarely consciously understand what it is that is actually turning them on. I believe the true answer in almost all cases is 'competence'. Physical competence. Social competence. Financial competence. Mental and emotional competence. I firmly believe 'competence' is to men what 'physical beauty' is to women.
You don't ask a fish how to catch fish.
There other channels that bring girls on and ask them what they find attractive in a guy and what makes them want to commit long term to them. Besides naming the obvious looks and money, they have no clue as to what else they would want in a guy and its mind blowing and astounding how clueless they are
Well... me being on the spectrum wouldn't help in this case.
if you've ever spent anytime around or known any "Chads" you'd realize that none of this matters. If women are strongly physically attracted to you then you can live in a cardboard box and have zero social skills and you will be swimming in top tier pussy. Women throw themselves at men they are physically into
Its also hard to demonstrate competence in a valid way outside of the workplace, but workplace dating is never a good idea especially nowadays.
I have had women tell me this.
Important things as well: 1:47 First thing - The way you dress; 3:29 Second thing - Sociability; 5:42 so true about the interaction as well, because it may tell a lot; 6:03 Third thing - Conviction; 7:00 agree with the values that you say Courtney; 7:07 Forth thing - Communication; 7:47 effective communication is very important and crucial as well; 9:17 Fifth thing - Integrity; 09:59 I have heard for that, and I understand it at all, because the deeds are to be watched, and not just the words; 10:22 Sixth thing - Humor; and 10:56 agree with the humor as well.
Introvert is so true, because there are things that aren't for all to hear. Now some of you will ask why. It's because some will abuse the things that we say (honor exceptions to those who do not behave like this). But that is one other topic that we will discuss about it as well.
In all of the mentioned things that you have told there Courtney, I can add the seventh, and the eight thing as well. And those are: The way how can men take care of children as well; and
The gentlemanly behavior (let's call it that way), meaning how is he behaving like a gentlemen as well.
All in all the deeds are the important things as well, and also charisma that men shows, emits, shine, etc (Believe it or not).
Happy Easter dear people.
Being a man of your word is for sure something that a good woman will desire and find attractive. Integrity just makes you come across as more mature than those who lack it, as well as make you stand out from the rest.
Absolutely!
? That’s what she said? 😊
Dont forget when a woman find a man with these qualities, she only wants to destroy you. so be carefull. Dont trust them
If only that was true!
There is an antithesis:
If a man makes himself too well, women will avoid that man due to their own insecurities.
I've never mer a woman that cared about any of that when she was under 45 years old
Dressing well is huge. If you want to increase your “attractiveness level” you have to start dressing well. Go on the internet, get inspiration and put in the effort. Also, you will feel more confident.
🙌🏼
I started tie dye as a hobbie and tend to wear it every where. I do good work so I tend to make sales by wearing it when I go out. I didn't however, realize that apparently tie dye is a chick magnet. I've never had so much attention from women in my life.
Are we talking about dressing for a date or daily? Because I live and work on a ranch. Clothes get dirty easy and often.
@@alaunaenpunto3690ok when you go out to the city and shit, you notice how all the women are super cleaned up and shit, so what your going to want to do hey is to do the same but not as crazy as women do it but show some effort hey!
@@natthaphonnoble7946 except you can use their own bullshit logic against them "if you didn't like me at my beast you dont deserve me at my beauty" so which is it ? accept people for how they are or play the stupid fucking game thats rigged against you look awful lot like the latter, if its a date though different story if its just a ride into town nah fuck that overalls are comfier long as you dont smell like the barn your good to go and odds you'll be dirty again anyway so might as well keep them on and some chicks get turned on by grungy lookin guys..you'd be surprised. Also if a person classifies me based on what a wear and thinks they know my story just off that lol thanks for telling me you are a materialistic drone. Ive done a test i dressed nice clean shave whole 9 yards drove the VW golf i got 0 lookers 3 days later haven't showered wearing same sweater and same sweats you know not looking the freshest,but im driving the Audi and well guess what waaaaaaaaay more lookers and few women even approached me when i went to fill up i dont thinks it clothing that matters i think its the brand that matters also both cars were clean the golf has a little rust below wheel well, but its only noticeable if your looking for it. Not that matters but,If your thinking im a VW guy im not thats just how things worked out lol
Hi Courtney, I'm a recent subscriber, I've been very much enjoying your content.
Thank you for being an advocate for men, a good one at that. A lot of supposed male advocates are as bad, if not worse, than the people they are supposedly fighting to protect men from.
I've been with my other half 10+ years now, some of these videos make me all the more glad I don't have to engage with current dating culture! I think what you're doing is genuinely very important, people need a reminder of reality more than ever these days.
I'm from the UK (Northern Ireland in particular), and while I'm far removed from dating, from what I hear, I believe that things are much more grounded amongst most young men and women here. There is definitely a vein of people who fall into the bad trends seen in your videos, but the detachment from reality hasn't spread quite so far.
Yup, keeping it simple with outfits.
It has taken a long time since relocating to finally build my network, but I got friends with similar interests, and now part of a group of regulars that do karaoke. Also making plans to see them outside of that.
This video Courtney, you nailed it!
I can't stress communication enough, as well as your conviction. Happy Easter
From what Ive learned from this vlog, being good looking is the key determinator. Women choose the best looking guy as long as he doesn’t have any overriding negative. As long as he’s not too far behind, he wins. Sounds like the way men choose who they pursue.
Agreed. Now if a guy is less than attractive, but he also happened to have a good variety of stylish outfits, do you think women would still be swooning over him in the comments on a Tik Tok video?
@@ATMAnubis I don't think so. I appreciate the pointers provided by Courtney but if the girl isn't at the very least attracted to you in the first place, these traits won't matter at all. This is because it takes time to understand a person and to see their good and bad side, for example, you work with them or both of you are in a setting where you interact with each other almost every day. When girls already rejected you before even getting to know you, it won't matter if you possess the qualities of a good man.
It doesn't help that studies have shown that the majority of women find 80% of men "unattractive". Factor out the married, gay, too young, too old, too short and women are competing for about the top 5% of guys.
You know that part about insecurity isn't attractive...
Shy and introverted are not always synonymous. An Alpha/extrovert man can be shy around women. Seen it many times in military men.
I have always been a Tshirt and jeans guy. Yes I have dress clothes (slacks, button down shirts, dress shoes, even ties-ick) that are very rarely worn. Decades ago I was having a conversation about how I dress with a woman friend and was surprised to hear that she thought I dressed "well".
She says I'm always looking put together, color matching (I would sometimes wear colored tees and/or cords). You don't need to be "trendy", unless you are actually interested in trendy fashion.
You only need to look like you care what you look like. You are going to be more confident in familiar clothes than some "outfit", unless you wear an outfit all the time. If Tshirt and jeans are your outfit, then rock them, clean and crisp.
Question: Corduroy jeans used to be popular, nice change from jeans, several colors. I can't remember the last time I saw them in a store. They are gone? 86ed from the casual fashion either? They were a step between jeans and Dockers. A jeans and Tshirt guy could literally double his wardrobe with 1 pair of cords.
Happy Easter everyone. There's one thing that I do that my wife thinks is hot/attractive and it's when I use my different voices to make her laugh or cheer her up. And I do love the fact that we can both make each other laugh at our jokes
I’m a very introverted person, but after a breakup I taught myself to talk to people. It turned out to be pretty easy with a little existential loneliness as motivation.
I think the most obvious example of my newfound social outbursts was when I was on a school trip, and I saw one of the first years of my college sitting alone as the only one alone on the whole bus. I went to sit next to her for a few minutes saying, “Hi, I saw you were sitting alone. I thought I’d talk to you…” or something along those lines. We had a short talk, and I didn’t mean anything flirtatious by it, just friendly introductions and getting to know more people. Then I went back to my previous spot.
Me and that first year are now dating and I honestly have no clue how this happened. 🤷♂️
Sociability, everyone. It seems to work! …along with Courtney’s other tips, because since applying them, apparently I’m hot.
For some women I've seen and talked to, they responded to a guy talking about what interests and motivates him, especially when done without apologies for liking what they like. The word "passion" is overused, but rather I'd say it is a sense of ambition, personal drive and discipline, and having a defined interest and goal. "Having a goal and working towards it" seems to get a lot of attention. Not just talking about it (and big talk abotu a book or some project), but doing it, and being excited about that goal and subject. This could be anything, the more active the interest, the better.
For example, "watching sports" is mildly okay, but that is passive. Doing sports is far better.
True! We love a man of action.
Happy Easter everyone!
Yeah, all six of these are spot on. Thank you Courtney for the advice!
I've never understood that obsession by women with extroverts... I understand a preference for sociable people, but choosing a guy 'because of that' is just nonsense.
It's funny that you said that yesterday on my way to my bass guitar lesson, I was complimented by my outfit, and from their we exchanged out social media. But yes, fellas, your attire said a lot about you. In the wise words of James Brown, "Look good, smell good, feel good.
Thank you Ms Ryan for highlighting this.
I agree with Courtney's points, and as far as I know, based on the feedback from women in my social circle who liked me, one major factor was calmness. They seem to like a guy who doesn't display a lot of neuroticism.
Yesss!! And especially when a guy calms you down when something bad happens
I'm a guy and I when I say I need a partner who has a sense of humor, it means the same thing as when women say it. I really value a partner who can also make me laugh and can come up with some witty jokes and comments of her own. Not comedian level but just ... it warms my heart a lot when a girl can not take life too seriously sometimes and keep up with my humor too.
First comment but long time viewer. Courtney, love your content and professionalism and most importantly the sober maturity you bring to dating advice. Free to boot, no BS. The focus on healthy, long-term, non-toxic relationships is exactly what I want. No hook-up culture PUA f-boy nonsense. Went to CWRU for undergrad but left the entire state years ago so it was cool seeing some of your Euclid on-the-street interviews. Keep up the amazing work, and I'm so happy gurus like you exist. You'll hit 1 Million subscribers soon enough.
Great discussion Courtney! I think having empathy is huge too - goes for both men and women.
Having a sense of humor is great as long as you don't make your partner the butt of your jokes. If you live together long enough, you will eventually tease each other about things. Be very careful about making sure it doesn't become a habit or a passive-aggresive way to get what you want.
There is a stigma associated with anti-social, I use the term non-social meaning I don't actively seek social situations, not actively avoid them. I still do social stuff and am out of the house 80ish hours a week. I just usually do my stuff by myself.
Everything eventually falls back to your authentic self, no man should fake,
No one has all aspects.
Show your weaknesses
Thank you for putting a short ad at the beginning of your videos rather than a long ass ad in the middle.
I'm trying to have these traits in my life, so hearing that good women find these traits attractive is encouraging to me! I definitely want a woman who will laugh at my jokes, but I also want a woman who makes me laugh as well. I would say this is a requirement for me. Also, Happy Easter and Resurrection Sunday!
One big problem, they still want you to act and verbally be a simp. Act and front you got all the skills and look with the beard and abd but verbally submit to her. It’s a ruse. I got it all, but I was raised by four highly educated and successful capable women and so I not only demand 6 figures form these women and to be funny themselves, but I also know all the back room convos and tricks and power plays and attention traps women do and I learned from the best. So real and lame pathetic childish women both don’t want anyone challenging them. They still don’t want any accountability.
I know first hand, because I only date winners, chicks with money their earned or didn’t, doesn’t matter to me, but it’s a requirement to make the relationship better and nicer and more comfortable. Can’t have any of us struggling, but I don’t let any of them get away with any of the typical bullshit or games. I call it out, confront it, expose it verbally outright then and there and openly, not passive or dancing around the subject, and most women can not handle that. No matter the intelligence or success, if they are that type of still manipulative women even successful the. Even more importantly you need to establish boundaries even verbal one’s.
It’s sad watching so many good women just keep fronting the attitude ruining good relationships and not giving good men a chance just because these men don’t let themselves get walked on even verbally and emotionally. They stand up for billshit and stop and confront it, which tells the women she’s not going to get away with a lot of the typical shit that she has in past boyfriends. But that’s her misery, she keeps the cycle of guys she can manipulate but also doesn’t respect. She looses event time with that logic. May think she sun heaven for a while sucking up his time or attention or god forbid his money but even she gets disgusted and can’t even hang around the guy for the money!
Women just refuse to be accountable and act right and be cool and not mentally manipulate, always looking for some angle Orr power play, attention trap…😉🫣🤣
Sorry ladies! I’m the one guy that was taught right by my mother and sisters and they ruined all you low frequency low vibe women, my bar is way too high for y’all🤣
This isn't what women find attractive, but what one woman finds attractive.
Great video! I'm really glad that you made the distinction between being introverted and being antisocial.
Ignore them is always #1 this is why nice guys finish last. 😅
Straight up stick to your word. If you say your gonna do something, do it. My recent relationship that unfortunately didn't work out. While we we're dating I told her if I'm going to do something for myself, someone, someone asked me to do something else etc etc I stuck to it. I saw it as keeping truth. She fell hard for it. Unfortunately she ended up cheatin on good ol Kirk here but hey, dodged a bullet on that one 😅 there was a bunch of other red flags but we'll leave those for another time.
Completely right about introverts, I don't make friends very quickly, I can stay alone and I enjoy it, a few weeks before important exams I could even decide to never go out on weekends and meet friends, but when I'm in a group of friends or even relatives I often find myself being the one that talks the most.
Courtney, you are by far one of the best dating advice channels on RUclips. So often I feel like these dating channels give so much toxic advice to men (e.g., Fresh & Fit). I really appreciate your advice, thank you and keep it up ❤
Thank you so much 🥹
Some women find it attractive when a man knows how to fix or help out with something. Also, singing and playing an instrument like guitar are fun skills to learn; some women find a good 'ol serenade hot
"some" is an understatment. More like 99%. A handy man that is willing to help is super attractive:)
@@sally.g. I wanted to be careful with making too broad of a generalization! 😅
I agree with your points and would like to add a few more:
1. When a guy puts his arm around your shoulder while parallel parking😍
2. When he acts like a gentleman: opens the door for you, give you his umbrella, offers you a ride, etc.
3. A nice cologne/ perfume
4. When he is confident in himself and not desperate or clingy
5. When he practises self control (doesn't indulge in short term pleasure)
6. When he believes in God and practices his faith🙏
Proper parallel parking would not require looking behind your car. Your mirrors tell you everything.
Do it for her though;)
Courtney, you are wise beyond your years, and then some! You are articulate, thoughtful, eloquent, arudite, and speak in a flawlessly fluid mnner. Well done Courtney!
Same old advice on how to improve a man's status... I want to see a live interaction between a male and female on a date (on what to do and not to do). I believe you can make this happen Courtney Ryan. I enjoy your work and videos 😀
Cu yyyuyo😂
Great idea
I see where you're going, but being on film could corrupt the results.
That date wouldn’t be authentic it would be staged for viewers.
As far as dating is concerned… it’s really simple. It’s going to sound like a lot, but it isn’t
If you’re on a date with someone you just met, here are the “don’t do’s”
- never talk about religion or politics
-never speak poorly of exes. You really should avoid talking about exes all together, but if it comes up… no negativity. Just keep it simple. You weren’t right for each other etc
-avoid complaining and avoid negative subject matter. Nobody wants to hear your sob story 8 minutes after formally meeting you in person
-careful with the complements. She isn’t an idiot. She knows you think she’s pretty. She doesn’t need you to tell her. If she is pretty, she hears it constantly anyways. Usually complements just come off as disingenuous. If you are going to compliment… be deliberate and specific. Maybe you say something nice about her outfit or hairstyle, but you can avoid it all together really unless you know that you can confidently deliver a genuine compliment
- don’t try to plan your next date during the course of the current date. It comes off as needy. Do that a couple days later when you’re talking. Unless she herself brings it up on the date. If she’s telling you that she wants to see you again already… then work with her to figure out when you can do that.
The things you should do
- take charge when setting the date. Tell her the time and place to meet. If she’s comfortable enough with you to let you pick her up… definitely do that. You don’t even have to tell her where you are taking her, and I usually won’t if I’m driving. If they ask, I tell them “your job is to look pretty and be ready at 7. I’ll handle the rest”. That usually works well. Some push back more than others
-don’t talk too much, but rather try to get her talking more. If you ask questions…ask questions that she would enjoy answering. Not interview style questions. Don’t be asking favorite color or “what do you do for fun”. Some of that stuff will naturally come up, and when it does… you can ask her what she likes about whatever activity she mentions. She’ll like answering that more.
- when you are talking… be funny. Be playful. Don’t be afraid to lightly roast her every once in a while (not constantly). Positive and fun subject matter only
-It’s not that serious. Have the attitude that you’re going to be fine whether she likes you or not. Just don’t actually say that out loud. It’s how you carry yourself. And it comes across in the fact that you didn’t gush over her all night and try to prove yourself to her by talking constantly about all the great stuff you do.
- pay for the date. It’s nice if she offers. But just pay for it
- plan more than one thing for the night. Maybe you grab dinner first, and if things are going well… invite her somewhere else to grab a drink and play a game of darts the same night.
-be careful with the amount of phone contact in the early stages. You don’t want to be blowing her up all day and telling her everything about yourself. If you’re texting for example… keep it light and funny and also have a reason for reaching out, like for example… setting up another date. You don’t want to be asking “how’s your day going” every damn day of the week when you just had a first date. And if you do message… wait for her to get back to you. Don’t send another message an hour later because she hasn’t responded yet. Wait for her to get back. And if/when she does… you respond when you have the time. Maybe that’s 20 minutes later. Maybe it’s an hour later. Don’t you dare immediately respond to her first message in seconds. It just looks like you were staring at the phone waiting
-never bring up a relationship. Let her do that. If she likes you… she will continue to see you, and it’s only a matter of time before she starts asking “what are we” or something like that. When she starts asking… you can have that talk. You will become the creepy stalker guy if you start trying to lock her down before she knows what she wants
Lastly… here is a really easy way to summarize all of this. How would you treat a guy friend or a girl that you’re not interested in? Kinda do that. Treat her like a regular person. Because she actually is a regular person. You don’t text your buddy for 6 hours a day. When you hang out with your buddy… you don’t spend all night telling your buddy how great you are or how great they look. Just have a good time. If there is an attraction there… it’ll be easy
What does it mean when a girl says a guy is sweet or really sweet and thoughtful?
I was recently seeing this girl I met on a dating app. Turns out that even though I shut myself off from other options and solely focused on her because I'd feel sickened with myself for talking to more than one girl at a time. Turned out that she was seeing others and going over her options when to me, I made her be my only option. She let me down easy and said that she wasn't attracted to me but that I was really sweet and thoughtful. So I really don't think that being those things are even desirable qualities considering that she didn't clearly want to be with someone who was and yet portrayed those traits as good.
It is been my experience in dealing with so many many people, men and women, that very few people are people whose word is their contract. Everyone say that they are a men and women of their word, specially men use that phrase, but when that is tested, excuses take over. I see it over and over. I chose my words very carefully becuse I don't take them back once I say them. I am not apologetic either. People get frustrated with me when I take the time to respond because I never respond immediately after the question is been presented. I don't like say I will do X or commit to something because once I say I will, I am bound to do it. Count on it, but I don't trust everyone's word, no one's words until they follow through.
I'm guy number 2 in that sociability section. I'm good looking. Not super hot but probably an 8 on a good day. Woman and girlfriends have always told me I'm handsome. But I'm pretty antisocial. I don't like going out. Hate parties, hate bars, hate most social events. I have some friends but as I get into my 30s, I find that I often don't even wanna see them. And I'm starting to realize how much my antisocial nature puts off women. I've noticed that there's always this initial attraction that draws women to me but when they pick up on my antisocial nature, they get turned off. I've been in many relationships in the past so there's women who are willing to put up with it but not the women I truly want. I really wanna develop my social skills and finally open up more. I think when you're in your early to mid 20s, these things matter less. But it really becomes more and more important as you get older.
I'm similar to you man, mid 30s, anti social, but I wouldn't classify my self as an 8 though..maybe a 6.5 haha. I think if we're really looking for growth and genuine healing, i think we need to speak to professionals in therapy. It may help us uncover unhealed trauma from our childhoods, we might have anxious, avoidant, or anxious-avoidant attachment styles..whatever it is, I think if we seriously do the work it takes, we can progress. I've been seeing alot of "betterhelp" therapy ads online, I'm seriously considering it due to its privacy and convenience online. Best of luck to you man!
Antisocial or just introverted? I too have been told I am handsome my whole life but I was painfully shy and an introvert when I was young. When I turned 25 I found my voice, I consider myself an extrovert introvert. I personally like to be myself but I can also handle myself in a group. There are more than parties, bars and social events that can you do with a date. I took my girlfriend to iFly on our second date. We gone to Painting With a Twist, cooking classes, we enjoy bike riding together, dining out, vacationing and other activities that only involve us, still introverted but with plus 1. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years now and going strong, so it can be done.
@@rolandveloz2512 I'm really in a weird situation myself. I don't really want to go to social gatherings and situations, but when I do I kinda love it and shine in those situations. It really sucks lol.
My 6 lol:
Dressing well
Keeping a cool head
Zercher deadlifting
Not tapping out first
Self control
Walking, talking, and taking action with authority (alpha vibes)
What does not tapping out first mean
nobody asked, and you sound like the most beta soyboy lmao
@@mharrtj6350 Not being the one to fold first. In a fight tapping out means to yield to your opponent to make him stop and thus forefit. In a sense never be the one to get one upped by the other guy.
@@mharrtj6350 yeah in the contact sport of the mattress not the mat it is important that you can go multiple rounds while being the first to not tap out. It's something that will greatly be appreciated so you better work on your conditioning hahaha I mean Courtney did title the video 6 things women absolutely love so there you go
@@DIDDLOTIC yes, that too hahaha a passionate man is unwilling to give up
Know there is such thing as the halo effect so if she finds you attractive in general, most things you do will inheritably be 'hot' to her (obviously not all like I don't think anyone would find someone idk kicking kittens hot...maybe); though courtney does cover a lot of general things pretty well here
Thank you for making the distinction regarding introverts. While its obvious the other talking points were common sense, I hope anyone here realizes they may lack some of these things and seriously looks into why.
When it coems to sense of humor.
I like it to be a mutual thing.
I think it's awesome when we can both be funny.
I also appreciate someone with healthy sense of sarcasm.
Happy Easter for each and everyone 🤍
Integrity to your inner circle, being a beast and trickster outside of that is important. There is psychology report saying, too much integrity makes you unattractive. Because he is going to lose in the market, and women will feel unfair if he doesn't give all resources on her, and lose opportunity to gain resources because of mild inconvenience that challenges his value and needed to share him with others. Don't overestimate value nowadays.
Integrity... I've cultivated it all my life and all I get is one friendzone after another. No one cares about my integrity.
Integrity is great, but no one cares about a man's integrity unless he has some shallow useless traits like being an extrovert all the time or being popular, as if that gave him skills for keeping a relationship going.
Conviction and communication and integrity are important-I am old enough to remember when so many women found preachers attractive. I think there is still something to this.
That was a pretty smooth transition into the ad, nice!
To get into what a woman 'want' is a no ending headache. Because women don't know themeselves. And they will hate you for the effort. Don't ask me why. No logic here. But that's how it is.
It seems to me that 'less is more'. The less you care, the more they care. Something like that.
A sense of humor is so important to me. Not just to laugh at my jokes or just to make her laugh all the time, also when she cracks jokes back & makes me laugh just as much. If you can't laugh at yourself or each other & have fun, what's the point?
For me i genuinely like when a girl is funny in her way and is not afraid to show it. I’m attracted to that type of energy because I think most women don’t always show their comedy side in the beginning. That’s one of the most boldest thing a woman can do that i see. And comedy is the true key to building any relationship no matter how long ago two people introduced theirselves to each other
So I am a blue collar worker and and work 12s. So have time or energy to dress stylish like that everyday. Any recommendations?
most of these things are a good way to get friend zoned.
NONE of this matters if you do not pass her minimum looks threshold to date. Always remember that fellas.
Yep. Height, face all a part of looks.
Correct. None of these tips apply to average or unattractive men. Glasses are sexy... on a hot guy. Bespoke suits are sexy... on a hot guy. Ripped jeans and a white tee are sexy... on a hot guy. Beards are sexy on a hot guy, and clean shaven is sexy on a hot guy. But none of these get you through the door if you're not already a hot guy. Sociability, conviction, communication, integrity, humor, these too are all indeed sexy qualities in an already hot guy, but none of them will get a homely guy through the door. Halo effect combined with misattribution. Classic example: hot guys are perceived as relatively funnier by women, but the funny is not the cause, but rather the effect. That's why Danny DeVito can spend decades honing his chops to become literally the funniest man on the planet, and it won't make him any more attractive in the slightest.
You will always be attractive to somebody, and it’s not the number 1 factor. Every ugly dude i saw outmatched me by 10x in the beautiful girls they had, most are too afraid to talk to me. And Less attractive dudes tend to have better confidence personality wise than i do.
This!!!
@@johnnylego807 cope
Happy Easter crew.
Also 0:39. Clean ad transition Courtney.
Be an kind human being with a great soul 💘
In my personal experience, at 42 years old, all the women I've ever dated have shared the same things they've found attractive in me. I feel it's pretty general, but they are security (they feel safe/protected around me), my quiet confidence, the ability to lead and make decisions, being a good father, hardwork and being extremely handy, good relationship with God, knowing when to just listen and of course the confidence in the bedroom just to name a few.
By the way, the same list applies to u ladies. I find women who have these qualities a MAJOR “turn on”. 😊
I like a woman who can make me laugh too!
You hit the nail on the head with this one Courtney!
As a man who has been losing his hair since teenage years, that keeps myself and most guys from ever really getting very far even if the other stuff is handled. Guys don't want to be metrosexuals in general. Of course women value men with high social skills, it displays dominance and that he "just gets it". Women use preselection, other people's opinions of him, via status and other variables, including other women finding him attracted as a reason for *herself* to also think he is appealing. Women are a hive mind, and this was an evolved trait to sort out the best guys. Let's be real though most guys aren't meeting people or around people anymore for these things to even be on display. People have jobs, responsibilities, etc, they aren't all out just randomly getting together with and around people, especially guys. Most men are not social, and the ones that are tend to have psychopathic traits.
Being social is more than just status. It’s about being connected and having access to resources outside of your own.
Women know that a guy with alliances will be able to get them through a drought even if they run out of resources.
It also shows that you know how to trade your skills and resources to your advantage, because adults don’t usually network unless there’s something to gain from each other. So you’re conveying value in that way too.
Very excellent point!! Aswell as potential future partners, a lot of girls after breaking up with you, may get with someone within your “friend” group, i’ve seen it enough times to know there is some connection, tho i could be wrong…..
Getting specific about your values helps you figure yourself out AND helps you with these attraction tips
Fantastic advice!
My wife actively resists laughing when I saw something funny. She can also watch a hilarious show like she's watching a spreadsheet.
Most of her laughter is the nervous sort I see most and mostly women do.
Could you do a video on good summer outfits for men. I feel like I'm still living in the 90's. Definitely need an upgrade.
happy easter y’all! not to make it deep but pretty happy to be part of humanity. i think we’re great despite our flaws. let’s enjoy today and have one of the best days of our freadging lives cause we DESERVE IT! 🤬 love you all
None of this matters unless she finds you already attractive physically.
These are all 💯 spot on!
The first three traits women (who in mass said they wanted all of them), the first three will compromise on is, Loyalty, Intelligence, and Kindness.
Unfortunately, in this day and age, having conservative viewpoints is not popular. That is what my values and integrity is based on.
If a guy is less than attractive, but he also happened to have a good variety of stylish outfits, do you think women would still be swooning over him in the comments on a Tik Tok video?
When women laugh it makes me feel great about myself but for me personally if the woman can make me laugh that is easily one of the sexiest traits. It goes both ways for sure. A sense of humor definitely makes us guys swoon just as much if not more.
When young, the Farrelly Brothers divided girls with a sense of humour into "GSOH, she laughs at jokes" and "GSOH she tells jokes", it's on the "Something about Mary" DVD commentary and Mary is a "she tells them" and they think that's perfect. I would say that men prefer someone who can joke too, but it's so unusual in women that it's not really a deal breaker.
I’m over here in Warsaw Poland. They celebrate Easter over here. And on Monday if your caught slipping with your guard down people will pour water on you. I’m not going outside tomorrow 😂
Healthiest channel on the tube
This is the best compliment. Thank you 🥹
Communication is so important to me. I think most problems can be solved by talking them out but more important listening to the other person. Before they develope into bigger problems. I know speaking for me I think I am clear as to what I am saying but a lot of times I am misunderstood. I wind up having to clarifing myself. Since I never get offended and respect someone who is honest with me I have no problem explaining what I ment. As long as it is repectful. My late wife could not or would not do this. That is not to say I will take abuse. As an example my first love hated it when she would say something and I would say "Oh Stop". So this was such a little thing I stoped saying it. No need to get into an arguement over. Only one problem in stopping it led to something else she didn't like, then something else. What I tought was small turned into me looking weak for me and a power trip for her. I finally did ask "Is there anything about me you do like?"
Great points. I find those attractive in women too.
Another thing that might extend to both sexes, is nice elegant good manners.
If I'm dressing up, it's usually a nice pair of jeans, some dressier shoes, and a nice button down. If more casual I stick to a solid tee. I rarely have a reason to dress up though. I'd be more social I guess if I had a group of men to go and do things with. Most of the people I work with are married and basically go home and spend time with their wives/kids and never want to do anything. I'll go out on my own, but its not really social if you're by yourself. I saw something the other day that stuck with me. I'm introverted around people I don't know. But if I want to spend time with you, I can be very extroverted and relaxed.
I like how u emphasize great women because it’s shame to say there not a lot of good women out there
I think there are! You just don’t typically see them online as much 😵💫😂
Men today have to work 10 times harder than their grandfather , for a woman who is 1/10th of their grandmother.
All great tips and advices! Now, I kind of sort of have a style/genre within myself only because I like mostly 50s and 80s like music, but granted I like to be clean cut shaved and I like to look professional in my work attire and my casual attire. Also too, I personally believe that if we can master #1 on this list, eventually all the others will follow.
Sense of humor is important, bc looks fade, but laughing together can last forever.
Happy Easter 🐣 Courtney thank you so much for the content! Keep up the stellar work! 💯
Thanks for your excellent videos, Courtney! I just have a question: You often mention meeting girls in a Bar. I know it's the easiest place to find a girl. However, I wonder, isn't a bar the worst place to meet a girl for a serious relationship?
I agree with you! Great Video!
Thank you for this guidance. There’s a lot of advice in the manosphere which sets men up to attract unhealthy women. Your sense of what healthy women are looking for is important.
Hey Courtney! I love you videos and you have been giving me so much help with essentially becoming higher value and learning how to properly take care of myself and become the best version of myself that I can be. In the first portion of the video you mentioned a man that dressed very well and that he wore very classic pieces, and I was wondering if the man you were talking about is Damien Broderick. I've been following him for a few months and instantly when I heard the way you were describing this man I thought it had to be him. Thank you again for the videos that you put out here for all of us!
You're absolutely correct Courtney, but the framing of these videos I always find hilarious, and sad. It's like making a 20 minute video with tips on how to nail your job interview for the position of nuclear physicist, but not mentioning that you first need a doctorate in nuclear physics, while knowing full-well that your audience struggles to even get a GED.
Agree to some extent. Reason why my comments are so explicits.
This is what happens when someone decides they are a dating expert just because they say so. If you watch videos on this topic from people who are educated/certified on this topic, you'll get vastly different information.
@@MikeyP109 well, in two years I've never heard her claim she is a dating expert, on the contrary, she encourages viewers to consider the opinion of professionals.
As an influencer I consider her pretty accurate, so "totally different" opinions from other coaches as you mention is debatable.
I believe things are going extremely well for Courtney.
I remember hearing when it comes to socializing, "People remember how you make them feel. Not what you say." So if you're someone who can make people feel good, they will remember that. Whereas, if you're a Debbie Downer and make people feel bad, they won't like that.
I guess this is part of integrity. How important or attractive is personal discipline? Being very scheduled, routine, how much do women value that in men?
I find that incredibly valuable. Can’t speak for every woman of course but it certainly matters to me
Worry less in what women value in men and more in what women can value in you.
Hey Courtney, I think it would be very helpful if you talk about the brands you recommend on clothing, like leather jackets or dress shirts. Btw thank you for all you’ve done for us men ❤
Check out mens warehouse or the gap. Gap has some really decent khakis in various colors. Men's warehouse I chose for shirts in the clearance section. Can never go wrong with colored khakis and button up shirt/polo with any design on it
@@sterlinghinton6776 Ty for the reply, I’ll check them out
"No."
Never defer to her. Agree if you agree, but never defer. Say "no" immediately if you don't agree.
This does three things:
1. It takes out the trash. If she's a narcissist or similar toxic person, she'll leave. Be glad.
2. It ensures that you won't lose your sense of self, just because you start dating or get married.
3. She will have respect for you.
Men are vulnerable too but we fight ourselves not to show it.
Literally factor was delivered right before I put this video on
Happy Easter ❤
I am cautious with verbal/written studies as people tend to respond with whats appropriate and not the instinct response of personable situations. what they say vs how they respond is huge, people don't normally asses themselves accurately. Though it is interesting and there is some value there.
Regarding the way men dress, I think it's because women put more effort in their looks so they enjoy a man who takes the time to do the same. I think the main problem is there is not enough knowledge for men how to be more "fashionable". And the fashion industry doesn't cater for all body types for men as much for women in all body sizes. I'm 5'6 . Things are either too big or too small. Women might think I'm not trying my best. I just don't have many options. After awhile I just give up looking around for the perfect fit.
The dressing part is so funny but true because I no where near dress normal I wear the craziest things and women still find it attractive.
I think what you said about humor is true in general. Most guys want a woman to laugh at their jokes more than they want a woman who makes them laugh. But for me, a woman has to be sharp and witty.
Thank you for making this video! Love from 🇲🇾
There is HUGE difference between antisocial and asocial. Asocial - don't like socializing. Antisocial - against society, breaking rules or in simple terms (very approximately), that is sociopath and to degree connected with psychopathy.
Calling asocial antisocial is like calling chickenpox smallpox.