Truth about why Mikko won't get in the bathtub | Update
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- Опубликовано: 9 дек 2023
- Sensory changes, among other things, can affect not only the individual needing help, but also the caregiver. We have been trying so hard to figure out why Mikko is responding so differently to familiar situations. It bothers us, but we are determined to continue helping and supporting her along her journey.
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Make sure you watch the FIRST VIDEO for better understanding. As well as the video tagged in the description of how it started.
She WON'T get in the bath | IT'S BEEN 2 MONTHS!!
ruclips.net/video/mflT0FU3eyE/видео.html
I'm really proud of you for listening to Mikko, this is her only way to communicate. My adult autistic daughter takes baby wipe baths until she can get into the bath. It's very painful for her. Imagine if I tried to force her into the bath even after she told me how horrible it is for her?
I think it's brave of you to share gentle parenting, I think it's brave of you to listen to Mikko.
💕
Heyy, i don't know if it will work ofc, but i have a suggestion: maybe you can try to get her to go into the tub when its still empty. Just let her step into it when it's not related to washing/water. Maybe if she has a positive experience with getting in the tub again, it will get easier from there on. Also maybe turn off the lights; I personally find bathroom lights very bright and intense, it might help to turn them off so she feels more relaxed/ comfortable.. Good luck ❤🍀 ps: Thank you for making your video’s and raising autism awareness!
Hi there, have Mikko try the Stokke Flexi Bath X-Large. 5 year old with similar SPD uses it.
Bonjour, quand j'avais son âge nous n'avions pas de baignoire. Je comprends votre désarroi mais il n'y a rien de vraiment grave. 🤷
Would it help if her sister goes in with her?
The emotional struggles this mother must go through. God bless her.
I feel sorry for the other children. Like some of the other comments, Mikko appears to want her way, and when she does not get it, she screams and cry. I do not know how this channel got in my feeds, but I cannot take it anymore. I wish the family luck.
@introuble873 You're seeing a snippet of their lives. It doesn't necessarily mean the other children are ignored. Some parents in similar situations find this informative
@@introuble873So sorry you lack knowledge. Nikkos behavior shouldn't be compared to, for lack of words, "average' child seeking attention. That's why it has a name. Autistic. Her older sibling offered comfort. A genuine behavior called empathy for any who missed it. Research prior to throwing out opinions/accusations without understanding.
@@introuble873 I feel sorry for yours
@@SchmeesCrotchFruit and I feel sorry for people like you, who think they can tell other people how to think and what to say. The comment section is for everyone, not just the butt kissers.
I’m learning so much. How do you make time to care for your other children when Mikko requires so much? Or me time. You and your husband?
You’ve done such a beautiful job. Thank you for allowing us in. ❤❤
After a long day & people being horrible online, thank you for writing kind comments.
They are remarkable parents!! God’s blessings!
My 14 year old daughter is autistic. She's my first and last child because I knew this then. I understood that she requires so very much, and I was afraid that if I had another child, one of them would be neglected. Pardon me for saying, but I thought it was crazy nuts when Precious got pregnant recently. Mikko is still a toddler, and she's not high functioning on the spectrum. Mikko is going to present many challenges to her entire family in the years to come. Adding an infant into this mix is going to complicate their lives exponentially. But to each is own.
How about using a waterhose? When I was younger that's what my parents did and I had fun with it. But without the pressure head.
@@DLTJ78I was also very puzzled by their decision to have another baby. Very puzzled. There comes a point in time where you have to recognize. This is my life and these are my children and I’m not having anymore. This is part of our human vanity. I think precious wants to have another child for her husband that maybe is not autistic. Steaks are too high for me to try again. For those of you who desire children and are in a similar situation, please consider adopting. They may not be your blood, but you will be their parents and they will be your child.
Hi mom..There are 17 gallon round tubs with rope handles you can try..different texture then traditional tubs, and you can carry and use in any room then just dump water when finished. Walmart sells them and Home Depot..they’re $10..💜Blessings to you all..
If it's been months, then I would just get in the tub with her whether she cries or not. This is what I had to do with my son who is on the spectrum. Eventually, he calmed down and started taking baths again.
This is to make a video.That was very smart of you ..
All kids don’t want to get in the tub has nothing to do with autism
Or maybe Mackenzie could get in the tub with her while they both wear bathing suits
@@EagerPug-sh8gxthey didn't say it did?
@@EagerPug-sh8gx True but kids on the spectrum can really have a difficult time with baths. I have 2 sons who are NT and they didn't resist baths like my oldest.
Those who struggle with receptive speech need to be shown they're safe rather than told they'll be ok.
I'm sorry you have this hard journey. I like watching your videos. I do notice how the baby seems to look at who's filming often. She seem to understand and follow along, but she chooses to do what she wants. Sometimes, we as parents must be stern and yet gentle. Don't give her the choice. You are the controller and know best.
My son doesn’t take baths because he doesn’t like being in a large body of water. I use a chair for him and wash him that way. It’s helps when they feel comfortable and he plays with toys. I hope eventually we can move to showers but it’s definitely a work in progress. I’ve talked to a lot of moms with kids with autism and it’s not uncommon for them to refuse baths. Just remember you’re doing great ❤️
I got a chair off amazon
Mine refused as well for years until we went to occupational therapy at Kennedy Krieger . Amazingly it worked ! Now they were able to get him to take showers and bathe. But now he is 22 and will only take baths . And I’m ok with that !
As a behavior tech who works with kids on the spectrum, most changes will always be difficult at first, we're always taught to have them complete the task even if they cry or not. I see you daughter goes crazy because she knows you'll give up. My advice, get her in the tub for at least 5 minutes a day, even if she cries, and then up the time next week. She'll get used to it. It won't be traumatizing, sometimes there are hard lessons. There was one 5-year child that absolutely refused to get in the tub or shower. We had to wait almost two weeks, without even wiping him down, besides his bottom, before he decided to get into the tub. Never resisted a bath again. Good times!
@@audreymai2773 I'm not sure it's so much about "getting her way" as it is just reinforcing the idea that the tub is scary. With anything in life if your anxious about something the longer you avoid it the harder it is to face that thing the next time. So mom not following through reinforces the anxiety
Also it’s not just kids on the spectrum, even neurotypical kids try to push boundaries to see what they will get away with.
Thank goodness. Finally, someone who is giving you sound suggestions. This child is watching all of your responses and is reacting by teaching you. No child wants bed time and bathing is part of the routine for bed time. Play music use a snack dance family routine but you are the boss mama don't give in.
Always except when it comes t5o hair videos. Then Mikko can scream and cry and mom does not care.@@audreymai2773
@@queennanna5595 Very good point. If you can do it with the hair, you can do it with the bath.
Yes, please get her a inside pool. Therefore she is comfortable and not afraid of the water. I'm so sorry Mikko. You guys are doing great with her. Please continue to be patient with her. May God bless you and your beautiful family
Also she acts up for camera. She is constantly looking at camera
I know as the parent this is such a huge challenge for you, and as I watch I also can’t help but try to imagine what Mikko feels… and how she might feel tortured or just sad for not being understood, and that sucks.. you both are so strong honestly . I’m rooting for the entire family and I appreciate the little moments when your other daughter tried to help you. I just love how you all are solution based ppl and always end up figuring out what she might need even if it takes months at a time and that’s powerful. A lot of parents give up on their babies or never even give them a chance once they find out about their “differences” so regardless of how you figure it out, I know you will and I know God will continue to give you the tools as he has been doing. You can’t control and figure out everything, but the love that motivates you to try is all that matters.
That's absolutely beautiful. So well said. 💕💗
As they get older they get more difficult to handle. Bathing is a necessity. It’s part of hygiene which if she is not made to bathe, the state can come in and hold parents responsible. We have had to do this with parents who just will not make their kids bathe. You will have resistance in many things as they get older. It’s something you just have to do. We teach our children. Even autistic kids have to bathe.
Yea maybe CPS will pay her a visit.
Afraid she might have her skin feel strange... after daily bathing since she was born? Afraid she might get frustrated over basic life skills? Afraid she might cry, afraid she might withdraw... Afraid she might suck two thumbs instead of just one?
She is so manipulating, hardly a tear, looks to see if she has done well all around, once she has gotten her way. This is starting to make me feel nauseous... because it doesn't matter how mentally skewed anyone is, she is still... SPOILED.
I am done feeling sorry for her... AND YOU... better call SUPER NANNY... and DEAL WITH IT. SHE knows how to handle it.
I remember how my child pitched her first fit when she wanted & tried to get down from my lap at about 10 months old... In a doctor's office to play with the other children on the floor who had soiled clothing on & playing with the dirty toys putting them in their mouth, green running noses not getting wiped. You control her, no one else... & she should not get her way over the adult who knows best... no matter how frustrating that is for her.
One time, I saw a desperate mom MIMIC her child's behavior when they were whining to get their way, wanting mom to do something FOR THEM like give them a bigger scoop of ice cream or dress them to go cuz they didn't want to. The mom refused, pitching a crying fit first & screamed 'use your big words then'. It worked.
@@queennanna5595 maybe the FBI will pay you one
If you can't find small pool to fit the tub you might want to try an inflatable food serving bar it would be perfect for the tub. You also might want to put bath towels inside so she doesn't feel the bottom of the tub. You might have to get in with her! I know you'll do whatever it takes. Your such a wonderful Mom!
I hope I'm wrong, 😣 but it's giving more tantrum than anything else. It is very possible that little Mikko has learned that screaming does more than express her feelings but gets her way. I know it's easier said than done. She's your kid, and you will handle it how you see fit. I'm just saying, maybe it's time to cut back on the cuddles a bit and be a little more stern. After working in a daycare for seven years working with 2 year-olds every day, you learn the difference between a distress cry and a tantrum. Lol. I hope a resolution comes quickly for the whole family ❤
My child was having a hard time with the tub, I was bringing things she like using First bath then tablet she would give a tantrum and I still carried on with the bath and eventually she got used to getting in the tub and the tantrums stopped, but now my child only wants showers she won’t sit in the tub 😂😂
I totally agree! Mikko is autistic, but that is only one facet to her. In my observation, she seems to be very intelligent and she also seems to know EXACTLY how to get her way. I know that it has to be very difficult raising an autistic child, but she is still a child. Although traditional forms of discipline may not work for her, she still has to be disciplined. Hugging and calming her down is great. However, I feel that she still has to be corrected and redirected in a way that lets her know that she can't get her way all of the time. Also, it may be necessary to get professional outside assistance in order to help Mikko be the best person that she can be.
I wholeheartedly agree and have thought and said as much!
Yes, it is definitely giving tantrum, not trauma. Mikko has figured out how to get her way by crying when she doesn't want to do something.
Also maybe not let her know you recording cause she looks at the camera every time
Even tho she is non verbal I feel like she is accustomed to getting her own way so she uses it to her advantage. My nephew is autistic and the things he does with his mom he will not do whenever he's with me like screaming for bathtime. I just lift him up and put him on the tub bcuz sometimes we need to make the decisions for kids even if they are special needs. They are smart. He gives his mom a hard time but he understands he can't do it with me. Not being rude just talking from my experience and other ppl had similar experiences
Absolutely! Gentle parenting doesn't acknowledge the manipulation
She is always looking at the camera. I’m sure you’re not video taping all the time. Maybe put the camera away. She’s checking herself out constantly. I have no experience with this but something I notice in every video.
It actually sounds like she tries to shout "NO" in her frustration. And through all of yours, you and her dad are so patient & loving with her. 🥺❤️ God gave her the best parents!
My son hates brushing is teeth and I just hold him and brush it. He cries so much but it has to be done. I know the struggle continue pushing through hun
Wow...As an adult I do too...always have. Sometimes time running water....or the more sustainable option of running the bathroom fan or listening to music or walking around while brushing helps me to better tolerate the noise and sensations associated with tooth brushing...
Yeah same. I hold my kids down and we get it done. Now my 5 year old lets me and we’ve incorporated things to make it more fun, like touching his nose with the vibrating Brush. They move on. Grow out of it. It has to be done. Just like taking medicine.
@@Blake1720
I’ve never grown out of avoiding medicine 😅
I have two autistic boys. My oldest was exactly like this. When he got older, he apologized for his behavior. He told, he knew that I was gentle & “soft” & didn’t hold him “accountable” & being firm. He knew what he was doing, & purposefully acted out. & He was verbal & didn’t want to use his words on purpose. Stand firm mama, she will still love you. & I am saying this with love & compassion, things will get better ❤. You have a beautiful family & heart.
I appreciate your comment. It is fair and you aren't calling her spoiled. She is just being a kid.
time to break that finger sucking also. might want to change her room to montessori style and look into lovevery toys. got my kid a bath chair off amazon. get her independence up and confidence. ikea will be your best friend. her bedroom is designed neurotypical. i TOTALLY get your comment about "my parents werent putting up with that"
I think Miko learned how to manipulate with her screams. Autistic kids same as neirotypical kids do manipulate and check the limits around age of 3 years. Its hard to distinguish it, but it should be kept in mind. For me it looks like tantrums and checking limits than something sensory, but momma knows the best.
In case of my little one, bath foam and bath bombs helped a lot. It has many types, with colors, with parfum, with a toy inside etc.
Maybe it can help😊
I agree. Kids around this age often don’t wanna bathe anyway! They just gotta get over it
It saddens me that people who have no experience with Autism cannot see the actual distress in her energy. If you know - you know. Thankfully those people, who feel like experts, are not this gorgeous soul's parents.
Oh and I think that @Saigy has learned how to manipulate people through comments. We could both be very wrong because we have no idea IRL about each other's lives.
I am super ok with being wrong. Are you?
@@VerySpectrumyI have one son with autism and one without. The one without had a bad experience in the bath due to his brother and acted just like this not wanting to take a bath due to fear. Luckily we worked through it and I’m sure her daughter will too.
@@Blake1720 I feel like the best a child with Autism (I type as an Adult with Autism) can be blessed with is for a parent who takes the time to understand the root cause (as you beautifully explained) and accepts that the behaviour is simply not something they can control at times, there is a cause for the distress, and works to find a balance for all involved. Ultimately with a mutual understanding of motives (that are more often than not merely motivated by frustration in not understanding their own frustration) and then they/we ultimately not understanding the impact that their reactions of fear (and others who react in fear to their fear) has on others around then. Having an adult in the room who can navigate that with them is the BEST feeling in the world for a child who is trying to "manipulate" the world around them (and is terrified at being so different). You get it. And it's lovely to feel another parent with an Autistic child explain it so well. Autistic children are oftentimes incredibly intuitive and are reacting to vibes (as a lot of kids do but the vibes hit different/stronger in the Autistic child who reacts more strongly and gets misinterpreted as they are trying to find a way to communicate their discomfort) Again, the Adult buffer in the room who "gets it" is like a buoy in a sea of chaos. Well done Yous 😊
Many prayers to you for your continued strength and patience. My heart breaks for you all when i see your videos because many of us never understood the reality of what you go through on a daily basis. Thank you for giving us a glimpse. 🙏🏽 💜
I have become addicted to watching your channel. You are the definition of patience and a mother’s love. I have two children (they are grown now) and I can’t imagine having your gentle patience if one of them had autism. I’m learning so much abt autism watching your channel. I pray that God sends you peace and joy and you realize how much this channel is helping educate and empower other mothers. I wonder if you have a therapist for both Mikko and yourself?
😅😅😅😅😅😅
@@maxinethompson9316I find no humor about this at all. Shame on you!!
Sending love and light from another momma with ASD raising children with ASD, u got this!
Maybe you can get it with her. Plus, if you are trying so hard to put her in all the time, she is defiant. Maybe the noise from the water can be calming but also a trigger. She's so sweet
Not really. She is spoiled not sweet.
@@queennanna5595 Shes 3 whats you excuse?
Going on three months is getting to be alarming...
If shes just screaming and crying why not put her in anyways? have dad hold her while you wash her, done.
Ive cried a few tears while getting ready for work, but I still had to go even though I was distressed...
I was thinking maybe dad should be the one to get her in the bath.. She's a daddy's girl and I see she calms down when he does certain things with her like when he combs her hair. My son had the same issues and i just said to his dad I'll stand aside while he does bath time with him . And i told him to do a bath time routine with him and it worked. I know with my son routine is very important and it gives them a sense of security to calm some of their fears. I was thinking whatever triggered the issue is attached to me because I'm the one that normally says its bath time. So, lets switch it up for the time being
I would try getting a large baby tub or something similar, have her sit in it first before the water is poured in. Get her comfortable playing in it/feeling it without water. Then when you feel she’s ready, try slowly pouring warm water (maybe a large cup at a time?) until it fills up enough to wash❤️ Good luck!!! I know how frustrating this must be, I hope you find a solution very soon!🙏🏻
Your patience and persistence is inspirational. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! Know that you are not alone, and this journey is different for everyone. No person has all the answers. Continue to explore and be patient with YOURSELF!!! 💜
You’re doing great, Mom!! Keep it up!! I think it's wonderful and important you aren't forcing her, and you’re trying to get creative in finding other ways to bathe. I don't know how she'd feel safe if you made her get in upset. She’ll remember your patience and compassion when she's older and it will mean the whole world to her. You’ve got this, Mama! You’re a warrior, you can tackle this! 💜
I’ve left several comments and I feel they’ve gone in one ear and out the other. At the end of the day you have to do what you feel is best for your family. When I saw my son was having trouble with learning at school I jumped to his assistance and advocated for him to be tested and to get all of the services that he needed, but that’s just the type of mother that I am . At some point I hope that you accept all of the services that can help Miko and you. I agree with the other comment I saw get in the tub with her and give her a bath, she may scream but she will be ok .
I was wondering do these content creators on here respond to comments?
Honestly I don’t know but I am so over it . I understand that everyone parents differently but this little girl needs therapy. Early intervention is the key . She would qualify for at least 40 hours a week of therapy in home and in person . For what ever reason they don’t seem to be working towards therapy.
@@nicoleford7127 I don’t see all of the videos but I see some she’s like my daughter and has a lot of hair like my baby, hair is a major task but I assumed she would be getting therapy my daughter is in speech and OT she was diagnosed with autism at 18 months we are currently waiting for ABA therapy to start the meltdowns are a lot so I finally looked into ABA therapy, my child is a completely different person in daycare they have no problems with her there it’s just with me and at home but the world is cruel I’m not trying to change my child but certain things you can’t do like not washing. OT therapy has helped a lot my daughter understands she just can’t always express herself and I guess she gets frustrated and it becomes anger she will also be evaluated for a speech device I’m praying that will help
@@autisticly_awesome Shes a mother of 3, she probably reads most, and responds when and if she can. No one owes you engagement
@@nicoleford7127 How do you know this?
You are an amazing mom! I would get pro's involved to help get you peace.When I worked in the Special Ed room, the teacher was trained with the latest advancements in helping the K-3 to understand rules.She had your beautiful personality. However, they had charts [as you do] but it was more advanced. Playtime was listed, or something they loved, and it was on chart. Having a tantrum, not following rules, a few minutes taken away from something they loved. She was firm, explaining why. She eventually had them understanding breaking the rules did not work. Push in a daycare w a pro in Special Ed. There has to be a way to go forward. Sending you a huge hug!
Letting her cry and not going ahead and push the issue is just letting her know she can’t have her own way. Be careful not to make excuses for her. A lot of kids don’t want to bath but parents bath them anyway. Somethings is going to be her wanting her own way and when you give in on everything she thinks she can cry and win. You are going to have to show her and not baby her with everything she don’t want to do. Becareful don’t let her control the situations that arise all kids pull a tantrum but the parent stay in control you are adding things that might not be so and mikko might just be having a tantrum. If she cries it’s not going to hurt her stop helping her to make herself different she’s getting her way it’s called spoiled . She will be ok you gotta be stronger with her.
My exact thoughts
You need to shut up and listen and learn.
Your so right .
A child will wrap you around it’s finger .
I know I have 5 and they all try in diferent ways .
Stop making excuses and take her to the pool 🏊♀️ or beach 🏖,,,
The biggest stance of water .
I personally think she dosnt want her hair wet .
Put her in a big bucket 🪣,, my grandson bathed in a bucket ,
He had more controll and can not slip .
Sounds like she has had a bad experience in that bath
You’re crazy if you got that from this video. She is not throwing a tantrum. That is genuine fear so much so she puts her finger in her mouth after so as to calm herself/get in her comfort zone.
The funny thing is they love the water. They just don’t want to feel overwhelmed by it (which is how they feel why they protest to washing their hair) as per sensory challenges that is associated with being on the spectrum or feel unsafe as per the texture of the bath tub when water touches it. Reassure by talking to her and having her look in yr eyes aka gaining her trust that she will be ok and address it from that angle; get a shower mat and she will be good even initiating her baths like mine now does 👌🏽.
I totaly agree ,my thoughs exactly .
I struggle a lot with getting my son to get a bath. I found trying to make it into a game and hopping in the tub first then holding him in the tub helped him regulate and be okay with it. I don't know if yall tried doing that with her or not but I hope it helps! ❤
My son went through the same thing this summer. Mind you he loves loves the water. It lasted about 2 months or so. We just waited it out. Now he loves taking baths again.
My 4 year old used to love water, one day, he just wasn't having it. Now he takes showers and even that is a struggle. We get him in, handle business and get him out. He's 4 and we are still trying to get a diagnosis. State Medicaid isn't helping and we've switched several Drs. It's unfair and ridiculous. Wishing you and Miko a healthy bathing journey. You are an awesome human.
I agree,if its been months then you have no choice but to take action! Remember your the parent. Its OK to cry,nothing is going to happen.
I totally agree be the parent and let her know 👌tough love works also mommy and crying never never kill anyone🥱I’m a mother 👀👀👀 and the other two children are feeling left out big time👀👀👀
She doesn't seem to care much about her twins. That is what I pick up. They all cater to Mikko and they all walk on eggshells around her. Maybe because she is married to Mikkos father she gives that kid her undivided attention. She is also colorist and shows favoritism to the lightest daughter with mixed race hair. I feel so sorry that those twins have to grow up in Mikkos shadow. Her parenting style will backfire one day.@@ld5480
Yet she lets her daughter scream and cry getting her hair done and she still makes tons of shorts doing Mikkos hair.@@audreymai2773
many children can experience sensory overload at this age, especially to textures that're adhesive like water. adding things to the bath that enhances and stimulates their 5 senses canreally help. like adding colour to the water, or maybe adding a pleasant smell. i really hope you get through
You are a wonderful mother as well as patient with your child and I appreciate u
My son hated baths as well for years ! We actually went to occupational therapy for it and surprisingly it helped . He 22 now and will only take a bath no showers ! I love your patience cause sometimes I just don’t have it !
Occupational therapy could possibly help.❤
@@t_harris2_489 I agree but IDK whats available to them and its VERY exoensive OOP. I know Precious worries because Mikko cant tell her oif someone hurts or scares her but there has to be a way to get her more socialised, and to honestly give her a break.. this is unsustainable IME.. I had one elderly parent w dementia and was alone.. it almost broke me
Even try a plastic storage tub as a bath for her. As frustrated as it is, nobody has ever died from not having a bath, so even if she stands in the tub and you use a plastic jug to rinse her down with may be worth a go.
Keep searching for remedies, if one dosen’t work then stop it and try something else.
You are a beautiful mum, sometimes it’s a tough job we have, and Thankyou for sharing your family and journey with us. Watching from Australia 🇦🇺
Been there myself as a kid. My son went through it too. Stopped trying to bath him and started treating it like playtime. He eventually wanted to make bubbles too. It took time, but he got over it. After a month or so, he no longer fought it.
you got this momma, i believe in you! you will find the root of this with patience and understanding which you have both of. I’m sorry you are going through this, I have faith ❤ sending love
Love the inside pool idea. Let her set the pace of exposure. It does sound like she’s made some progress. I think you mentioned she will at least approach the tub at times. ❤
How do you know the difference between a regular child's tantrum and the autism. Sometimes it's just a matter of we gotta do it
I hope the other kids are OK, that they understand the difference of enabling versus caring for their sister ❤
I wondered if anyone was going to berate you on your comment but I thought similarly to what you said. I never had any autistic children and never knew any kids with it when I was growing up and am unfamiliar with it.
She has to bathe. Get her in and out. Let her cry she will get tired.
Yeah..mhhh why you think ITs that easy... And IT will BE pure Stress for Mommy and Child. The Type of Stress where she even maybe be traumatized of the Situation. You dont want your Child to cry. Bathroom/ HOME has to be a Safe space
@@Suki-hl6vgshut up you dont know anything
Yeah I agree the child is controlling the whole situation once she cries the mom accepts everything (tough love works) she should try it😱😱😱🙏🙏🙏
Well she does not mind stressing her to do her hair on her shorts videos.@@Suki-hl6vg
You may not want your child to cry but it is absolutely okay and developmentally necessary for it to happen
She has to wash up you need to talk to somebody about th5
You got this Mama. You are doing amazing and I have so much respect for you. You are sharing the hard moments and I know it means a lot to so many who really may feel seen by these videos.
At 0:29 seconds in i see a temper tantrum, no tears just “I don’t want to!” I love your sweetness sooo sooo much, but i feel like she’s spoiled and playing you, regardless of having autism or not, not all autistic kids have to get their way or have a tantrum. I believe they are capable of manipulation. Anyhow i’m so sorry for being negative, because you are so great, I wish you could try the “She will eat eventually when she’s hungry” approach or “she will have to cry herself to sleep” approach, Or “she will join us in the living room eventually”(although it’s pretty normal for kids to try get their parents to sleep on the floor for security, it’s still manipulation no matter how you look at it.)
Try stepping into the bathtub with her washing her quickly and getting out without speaking just get it over with, I really want you to get advice from a pediatric psychiatrist on how to handle these situations. you aren’t going to traumatize her for life by making her do things. it’s part of life. It’s still early, imagine a 14 year old knocking you to the ground over a struggle? i just want to cry. This needs to be handled now. I’m sure you’ve watched other autistic kids on RUclips and this complete defiance from her is not acceptable for you and your mental health.🫶🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻
I agree with this a 1000%. They are wonderful parents I know of people with autistic children and they are not even treated with the patients. It is interesting to see where this goes. Again I am not being negative.
@@pamelagumbs9028 They need support and direction from professionals because “Gentle” may be wonderful i think there is a place for insistence here at times and places. Mama looks so defeated at times it’s heartbreaking. 🫶🏻
If its similar to your aversion to the texture of the tub, try laying a bath towel on the bottom of the tub under the water. Changes the feel of the surface.
But be much more careful of slipping.
So true…texture is everything to them. So this or a shower mat will definitely help.
Ive worked in daycare for over 20 years and worked with mrdd for over 10 years. Have you tried discipline and reward ideas, yes its hard and yes i understand what you are going through my youngest has bipolar, adhd, behavioral disorder and borderline scitzoprenia (spell check) also remember a few things if anything is going to happen if it interferes with her health, and her safety then its not hurting her then you have to do what you can to help her. It may sound mean and crazy but if she hasn't bathed in weeks its interfering in her health so you have to do what you have to so that she is bathed. You got this mama
Get in with her. Be sure to have a smooth bath mat. Dim the lights and try some soft music. Wrap her in a warm towel when she gets out.
I enjoy watching the creative thinking not only in this clip, but also in the Comment Section....'tis the season for sharing in spirit, could it be all year long.....
Don’t give up precious. Your gonna pull through.
Seems you have more money than sense. Jealous of the money part but definitely not the sense part😂😂😂
@@kelsey2333 Youre angry or you wouldnt be trolling a fsmily w special needs....What do you do all day?
I can’t imagine the frustration you are having or the fearfulness of Mikko. It’s got to be tough with her not being able to tell you. Suggestion: since she likes the pool, maybe she would get into it if you put in the kitchen. That was it would be easier for you to clean out. A dry vac will pull the water out after the bath. Perhaps start with a little amount of water enough to get a better bath. Putting a pool in the tub might be best but it might also trigger her to then not like the pool. The best to you and your family through these difficult issues. Hoping it’s a stage she’s going through and she comes out of it soon.
I truly love you and your husband willingness to learn and most importantly being gentle and patient❣️❣️
I love how your family has so much patience with Mikko. Have you tried getting in the tub with her. And yes maybe a small pool will help. Hope y'all are able to figure it out. Y'all are doing a great job.
I just got a whole new understanding of my son decades ago. He wore slippers and my dish gloves in the shower. I never understood!! Girl! Now I get it!
As a black autistic person who grew up undiagnosed, your videos are so healing for me ❤ thank you for being an awesome mom 💙💙
My heart is definitely with your family.
Hiya 53yo Autistic female here from the UK. Needed to tell you that I just happened upon your lovely channel via Shorts and it only took 3 Shorts for you to change my life! And yes- you got me at "her hair" and kept me with the openness about baths.
I am obsessed with my Baby Wipes as I can only pull it together Sensory wise to shower every couple of weeks (it vascilates between every week and escalates to 2 weeks if I am shutting down). I had confused ADHD and Autism for a very long time. But when I listen to childhood behaviours I realize that me never brushing ny hair, or the ordeal of the thought of bathing was very hard work and something I never ever understood about myself. So now I have Costco size wipes delivered monthly and I try not to listen to people who don't get it.
You and Your family "get it" and you are MAKING A DIFFERENCE 😊
thank YOU 🎉
That must be so very frustrating. Thank you Precious for your god- level patience.
This will probably just get lost in the deluge but gotta try. What worked with mine was actually an animal water/feed trough from tractor/ feeder supply with a floral liner laid in bottom (because the solid black seemed bottomless to my girl). They come quite large and round or oval and they area very solid rubber, not quite car tire but more flexible and less weighty. Much more durable than an inflatable tub.
Hey Mama look in the medical supply part of Amazon before my Mom passed I took care of her and she was bed bound, it's a canoe shaped bed bath, it's got a hose that U hook up the hot n cold water to, it was around $100 when I was shopping for it, and that is over 5 yrs ago now. If not Amazon check medical supply stores, SOME of THOSE type places accept insurance as well 💜 GOOD LUCK 🤞 U GUY'S ❤ 💯 I KNOW THIS stuff ISN'T EASY at ALL 😔😔 very frustrating when Ur baby can't TELL U what's wrong, BUT U SEE that clearly there's a issue ❤ I've learned with back slides, for whatever reason they happen, it USED to remind ME of a HUGE game of HOT n COLD ❤ I WISH U GUY'S THE BEST!! SENDING MIKKO ALL THE PRAYERS ❤ She's So smart and so sweet, I truly hate seeing y'all suffer like this ❤ Ur older daughter is so beautiful as well girl, she looks dead on her Mama ❤💯 👑 Sending prayers and love UR guy's way!!! Love frm Florida 🩷🩷🌴🌴🩷🩷
Wow, this is a tough one! Mother, you are so strong & patient!
I went through this back in the early '90's with my autistic step child, I finally got him to shower & he began to love it! All day he'd say, "take thower, take thower!"
Try to sit her on the tub edge with only her feet in the water while holding her. You will find a way because you, the mother, comfort, heals, & and are the core of the family!!!
You guys are such loving and patient parents. I wish you all of the best. 🙏🏾
My prayers are with you and hopefully you’ll resolve this issue. 🙏🙏🙏
What I’ve learned is a lot of parents with autistic children says everything is autistic related when sometimes it’s not 🙄 typical children has some of the same issues! She can’t go unbathed forever!! Please stop saying everything is autistic related! Mikko likes her way! You can clearly tell most times she understand what she is doing! Just watch her body language! Not saying that for this particular video! Just in general with me watching your channel
Yes I agree I worked with a autistic 29 yr old white male...and all he did was hunch but he only did it in front of me or kids...his parents let him because he's autistic SMH..it was weird because he would do it majority of my 8 hour shift
@@tonimcgowan1842 right! By not correcting behavior or saying “oh they’re autistic” as an excuse to accept certain behaviors is a handicap in itself
@@uniquely__awkwardsimply__b2701 right...I think my old boss wanted him to stay that way for the money...he can eat by himself but on days he didn't want to feed himself he didn't have to..ok well starve sir cause u can eat by urself...he was bossy to me
I can’t even imagine. My 6yr old daughter have some challenges and I’m a single mother it is so overwhelming and so frustrating when you don’t know how to help. Because I realize that patients is virtue in this situation. Just keep talking I am learning a lot from you and your beautiful family ❤. I use to bring “14” inch tv in the bath room or music, toys, lights, water proof crayons 🖍 the tv was for me when I take my spiritual bath and my oldest son would follow me but the Younger ones have toys and a lot of things to distract them. Thank you again for sharing keep up the good job I think you’re doing absolutely wonderful and I hope that it will be people in the comments that would encourage you to keep going you got a beautiful thank you happy holidays from my family to yours❤
Oh, yes, Amazon will have those small blue swimming pools, or if you have a Family General Store in the area, the pools are there too. If you don't see the pools because its the winter time, ask them if they have the pools in the back. However, no matter what, Amazon has the swimming pools.
Furthermore, it's s going to take time, but you got this! I have a five-year old autistic little man, and he went from spending two hours in a preferred" bubbles" in the bath tub to now taking 15 minutes in a shower. It took a year, but I was patient like you and it will get better. You're doing great!
I hope you get her in therapy soon out of the house with professionals
Nah she’s behaving like that cuz she’s getting away with it. She knows if she screams and throw a fit, then she won’t have to do what’s being asked of her.
I then you should educate yourself on autism behaviors before commenting because manipulative behaviors is part of the autism brain! Part of autism is that their brains don’t know how to respond to certain things properly and it causes their emotions to become agitated and aggressive and frustration! You CANNOT judge their behavior on an everyday or standard spectrum!
I'm so glad i found ur channel! My son is going through this too. He's non speaking, & he's 6 yrs old. Hes healing from trauma too. I've been filling up clear plastic totes with water. We up on top of plastic tablecloths, in his favorite places. He can and does hop around from one to another. We have squirt toys, dozens of different wash tools, & we designated a bin that's special for dropping in bath bombs or water beads, any other stuff that is fun to play with but wouldn't work in the bigger totes with him. One of those items is mr bubble bath color tablets. The tablet packaging has holes in the lid, it's perfect as a gentle shower-simulation. This week we're getting one of those basic "camping showers" to see how that goes. When we're done, everything is stored in the biggest tote. It takes a lot more time to do it this way, as I'm dragging this water by a gallon or two at a time. but I am just so relieved that he's comfortable in there!
You are both wonderful and understanding parents. Mikko is beautiful and this too shall pass ❤️
Maybe no cameras
Last Resort : why don't you have a Priest come and bless every room, the whole house.
I heard if you get a lot of people to pray for Mikko, it might help because prayer changes things.
I have one word for you..PATIENCE. That is what you are.
You are doing a wonderful job with her and you can't be hard on yourself I don't have any children but just seeing you are loving mother.🎉❤❤
Thank you for continuing to share your journey with this. ❤ The mini pool indoors idea sound good and I hope that it or some other bathing solution works. These videos are a valuable resource for so many parents.
Helping you at the expense of mikko no big deal😂😂
Exploiting MIkko for money. I wonder how much money she makes off every video? Plus she gets a social security check as well.@@kelsey2333
I would just put on swimsuits and we'd get in together for a while. My cousin had to do that with her daughter who's on the spectrum. It took about 6 months of them bathing together for her to finally get in the tub alone again, but it wasn't an option as far as if she was going to bathe or not. My cousin took this stance: Life is hard and there's always something that you don't want to do but you have to do it. Whether it's based in fear, you don't want to do it because you don't enjoy it or simply defiance, ultimately there's things in life that you're going to have to face head on and in her words, "Git 'er done!". So she didn't let her daughter get her way and get out of taking a bath. The first few weeks were hell! I had been there and I saw for myself that she'd fight with every fiber of her being but my cousin never gave up and eventually she'd be clean. She quickly learned that mommy's not going to give me my way so I have to cooperate and it'll be over much faster. And she was rewarded for that. She loves cookies. Any cookie. So after getting into the tub and getting washed up, she got a few cookies every night. Eventually it became every other night, then every 3 nights and so on. It got down to now she only gets a reward when she does her whole bedtime routine without any fuss and within a certain timeframe. It worked. So although I commend you for the way you are so in tune with Mikko's needs, you have to enforce the rules. She can't continue to get her way with the bath situation. Try to accommodate her as much as possible but ultimately if you allow her to continue to avoid baths she's going to learn that a tantrum will get her what she wants and that's the last thing you need to enforce. Best wishes to you all. I hope you come to a resolution soon. ❤❤❤
Precious, I’m just praying for answers and wisdom so a way to handle bathing is found. I got tearful watching you, and your older daughter trying so hard to help little Mikko. God sees your hearts. Stay strong and prayful. Wisdom will come.❤❤🙏🏼🙏🏼
I understand the texture sensitivity. My daughter deals with it as well. Not where the tub is concerned, but pther texture aspects. You are doing such a great job woth Mikko, such wonderful patience with that precious, beautiful little girl.❤❤❤
My two year old son loses his mind we when I force him in the bath. It's worth it though because they get clean and then it's bedtime.
Have you tried occupational therapy? I have four children as they grow up the sensory change. Things that didn't bother them now did . Maybe water sensory play could help. Or bath paint toys You are doing great. My husband and I are currently dealing with our daughter sensory changes and overload which now we are resulting with her hitting and yelling. So I understand trust me.
As someone else said, I would get in with her. Run the water before she enters the bathroom. The noise of the water can create even more anxiety, it’s loud. I have 3 sons on the spectrum and they have phases of being terrified of the bath. No trigger that I can pinpoint but we’ve overcome by running the bath beforehand then I get in with them. The combination of skin to skin and their trust in me has helped them overcome their fears. We will probably go through it again but I’ll approach it in the same way. Good luck ❤ETA: just seen your other video that you yourself are also anxious about baths, this is another reason why she is scared of them as she can feel your anxiety. I would get Dad to get in the tub with her if he is ok with baths. She won’t feel any anxiety then 😊
You know more than me I’m sure, but I’ll just share our experience. My son was 2 when he was pushed under water by his older brother In the bathtub. Traumatizing experience for him for sure, and after that he refused to take a bath, screamed, pulled away, threw himself on the floor, the whole 9 yards. We tried the bath toys, the Mats, the fun stuff on Amazon, but still, like you said he liked to play but not get it. It sounds harsh, but after that point we just made him take a bath. It was a struggle and of course we didn’t hurt him. Over time he got used to it and grew more to accept the bath. He’s 3 now and it’s like it never happened. So, sometimes they go through this phase and if you stick to your guns, make the bath not optional (after trying everything else) they can get over it.
Unfortunately the longer she stays away from the tub the more sensitive she will be about it and want to avoid it. She somehow needs desensitization.n
Sweetheart she really need professional help
I appreciate your videos very much! To share with you, I’m extremely claustrophobic. Small rooms, enclosed spaces, walls close. I’ve been able to trace back possible origins. I thrive in open space environments work, home, school. I get very anxious in those small enclosed shower stalls that fit one body with just the glass door. Grown to accept and quietly make accommodations for my life. I think having the pool or bath in an open space might help her to adapt with you and pool toys while you handle the business as she overcomes the her anxiety. Bath Time, Safe Time. I wish you and your family all The Best! Love and Peace be with Y’all. 💕💚👍🏽🥰🇺🇸
It's a wonderful thing that you all are being brave to let people in your lives as you learn and grow through this journey i know this is helping so many that's going through the same thing ❤
It is called exploitation of children for clicks likes and views and a ton of money.
From a spectrum Mom to the next, I understand your gentle approach but there is a thin line of being gentle and enabling. My son Every few months would have different issues that would pop up that didn’t make sense. I didn’t change anything for him. Rather we talked it through and we got through it together and eventually the attention seeking behavior stopped. For example, he suddenly was petrified of intersections. I refused to stop driving intersections just because he was uncomfortable. How would we get around. I say that to say, she see is learning that she can get her way if she cries and is developing a strong attitude towards her way or the highway I think because of that. Watching this is painful and not sure what the point is of showing her in this light so often. It’s seems you need a behavioral special, aba, to come to your home to assist. God bless you guys.
I know the same feeling. I have 2-year-old twins girl and a boy and the girl has autism and I found some really cool things at Walmart. They are little lights that can go inside of the bathtub and you can change colors with a remote control and in the baby section where they have the bath toys. They have sesame Street and baby shark. Little water toys that you put in and the water makes them change colors and the lights come on so I give them bubble baths with those. And honestly I can't get her out of the tub now. They are life-changing. I turn the lights off and they have the little lights from the toys. It's amazing. I wish I can insert a picture I'm trying to send you but I can't. Please let me know. I hope this helps
play helps so much. for example one parent used to "play spa" with her autistic kid but really was trying to help her through the sensory issues that come with nail clippers.
Hi, precious and good afternoon
So sorry that you and mikko are going through this transition sometimes they last a while . As experience with my son I have to get in the tub with him as just placing my feet inside and sitting on the edge of the tub it makes the tub seem smaller for him and gives him comfort. If he is really deregulated I normally put Aveeno lavender bath scent with the water color bath drops by crayola that sometimes works for him and allows him to get inside of the bath by himself.
Thank you for sharing this moment with us. I hope mikko is able to become regulated again.
Peace and love
Nicki and Elijah❤
the sound of the water and the size of the tub is scary for him.
Haven’t yet finished watching the video yet so not sure if you’ve mentioned this, but I’d definitely try adding some small toys to the tub-especially if there are any toys MIkko likes playing with in the pool/that she is familiar with.
I can’t imagine how you are able to cope so well. It seems so challenging to not get angry.
I dont know what its like to deal with this, but im praying for you. You are a wonderful mom!❤
Just thinking out of the box here. Paddling pools if you're on about the blow up kind can be very messy. The sides bend easily & the water can spill out everywhere. When I was little we had a small inflatable dinghy that we used as a paddling pool & it was far more sturdy. I remember I used to sit on the side & bounce. It was only one of the cheap ones, we bought it when at the seaside to play with & used it as a paddling pool in summer purely because we were poor & couldn't afford a pool. But it really worked well & made for a far sturdier pool. It may be worth considering as an alternative.
Whether you consider it or not, thankyou for sharing your challenges with us. I'm learning so much. I'm sorry from the bottom of me heart that things are so difficult for you. Congratulations on finding out what the issue may be & I hope you find an answer soon ❤
I’m confused. You’ve repeatedly said you will not cut her hair to make it more manageable because she needs to learn to accept that it’s a necessary process and some things in life are tough but we need to do them yet it’s ok to not bathe her for months because she doesn’t want to? I fully understand it’s emotionally and physically draining but she need to bathe. Kids with severe skin issues who it physically hurts to bathe are still bathed and they scream in actual pain but because Mikko is under the autistic banner it’s ok? As someone else already said you are rewarding every single meltdown whether it’s genuine or not. She may be non verbal but she has learned that these actions get the results she wants, the babying and not having to do the thing. She’s clearly not afraid of water as she regularly plays with it. I’m not saying she hasn’t developed a psychological issue around the bath texture or a number of other things but you’re doing her a disservice by not just putting her in a bath and washing her. I wouldn’t normally comment something like this but after the last few videos it’s feeling like tantrums for clicks
Yep tantrums for clicks and views that’s exactly what it’s giving
If you have a stall shower, using a child’s chair might help. How about playing her favorite music in the bathroom or decorating the bathroom with some of her favorite things? Stars ⭐️ on the walls or little characters she likes. Maybe playing games in the bathroom without the water running so there is no threat to her until she gets comfortable. Just some ideas 💡❤️
Precious, you do you. It's perfect. This is hard stuff. Each child is different. I appreciate you showing the hard stuff. People need that, then they don't feel alone when it gets hard for them.
I do think you're onto something about the texture of the tub or the water, the temperature changes that happen getting into and out of the tub are all the things my autistic daughter can't stand. She's 22, and verbal, so i at least know what's going on. It's so hard for you with having to read her needs. Screaming like that is definitely her only words she has. I really admire you that you are listening to her 'words.' Sure you can force her and break her and make her believe that her pain doesn't matter to you. I really like you choose gentleness and your decision not to do that. If i tried to force my 22yo daughter in the tub against her will, it would destroy our relationship of trust.
A bath isn't essential. If it is that upsetting to her, i think it's great that you are listening. 💕
(My daughter uses baby wipes to clean herself and endures a bath or shower when she can.)