Chapter 25 Autism & Anxiety: an unbeatable tag team?
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- Опубликовано: 28 июн 2024
- Chapter 25 recapping my unexpected Autism and ADHD year: this week I'm looking at one of the big three co-occurring conditions alongside autism - anxiety.
I'll look at what anxiety is, what it can look like, why being autistic can mean that the two often go hand in hand, and what some of the steps towards working through anxiety to battle through to the other side can look like.
Please do like and share this video and subscribe to my channel if you find any of it useful, or message me to get in touch and connect.
Contact email: amineurodivergent@gmail.com
Some useful links:
AQ Autism Self-Test:
I'm going to keep posting the link to the AQ Self Test for autism every Sunday in case this is the first video in the series people come across. Take the self test (remember it's JUST a self-test) and see how you score. You may have been on the autism spectrum all along and just had no idea, like I was:
psychology-tools.com/test/aut...
ADHD Self-Test:
(with all the same caveats as above) an ADHD self-test. ADHD is even MORE common than autism (and many of us will have both); the vast majority of ADHDers just struggle through from childhood through adulthood having no idea that they even HAVE ADHD, let alone working out strategies to cope and deal with it all better to be happier and less frustrated with ourselves and others.
psychology-tools.com/test/adu...
It took me 10 years of anxiety before I realized what that feeling was. Im male 45 diagnosed ASD this fall along with my daughter. You are helping me realize what I already knew but didn’t understand. I feel so many things at the same time on a daily basis. Anxiety is a strong feeling but I couldn’t explain what it was to anyone which led to even more anxiety and despair.
I think I'm on my second "re-listen" to the entire video. But I'm not committed to counting correctly right now. I heard a valuable nugget with this current listening and it is the difference between depression and anxiety. Bingo! Depression is feeling bad about what happened and anxiety is about feeling bad about what might happen. Beautiful! Accurate. Useful. Thank you.
I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety for almost a decade now, and CBT, while sometimes very helpful, just never touched on so much of it. "Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings" -- uhh no I will just be trying to exist and my anxiety rises and rises with no associated negative thoughts. Once I feel super anxious , then sometimes I get negative thoughts about my inability to handle daily life. *Now* i understand that existing in, for example, an open office plan for 8 hours is a major major source of anxiety due to my SPD. I can't "think away" how stressful it is! It's not a negative thought, it's my senses being assaulted. It's the constant performance of being around people ALL the time.
i also had some social anxiety, which i now realize is founded in different things compared to typical social anxiety. My therapist would try to understand the root of it. "I'm afraid they'll think I'm annoying and weird" -> "and what are you worried those will lead to? Them disliking you?" Um nope that's it. I am distressingly concerned about them thinking I'm annoying and weird because that's to be avoided at all costs. Why? Because!!! (Gah.) I both don't care at all what people think of me and think other people being inconvenienced is a disaster.
Great video as always!
You make a really good point here, and it ties in with a comment you made on one of the other videos. The use of a-- traditional neurotypical therapy (in addition to b--traditional neurotypical self-help books) to address neurodivergent struggles, challenges and upset. It just doesn't work as a blunt instrument. We're different. There are different, more fundamental reasons for anxiety, trauma and stress that if not taken into consideration alongside the other stuff will just compound issues for us by trying to 'fix' one without consideration of the other.
Aspects of NT therapy CAN work for NDs, but the approaches need to be finely nuanced with a strong understanding from the therapist or coach of the underlying ND experience, and that understanding all too often just isn't there. Tackling this feels like a big aspect of defining next steps in all of this, and I haven't quite landed on how to move forward with it. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, by doing so you're helping me starting to clarify my own thoughts too.
I have had anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life. I have been on an anxiety meds since 2010. Realised I was autistic in 2022.
I been off them for a while.
How are they doing for you
Thank you for making these videos
Thank you for watching them and posting an encouraging comment
Uh oh. Caughtcha. Calling your used to be self an idiot with a problem in the noodle didn't get past me. You redeemed the matter with the talk of reframing. Regarding the usefulness of CBT and familiarity with a sizeable list of thought distortions, lately I've reduced personal anxiety considerably by using A.C.T. and a modification of I.F.S. and generous application of Christian Prayer when my knowledge shows me I'm in the midst of believing a distortion and my CNS is on high alert. That was a lot of words I put into one sentence. Brevity is beyond my available patience for now. The purpose of the lengthy sentence is to say the anxiety reduction I'm enjoying is due to using my acquired skills to reduce polarized thinking and the internal winner/loser paradigm. Loved hearing your mention of the process of deconstruction. Taking adequate time for processing as a priority is giving me results I can count on. As always, before hearing the whole video, I'm already looking forward to relistening and relistening again. I don't think it lasted too long. Was it helpful? Yes! Thank you. Until next time, may we all fare well in reality.
Ha, it's a fair cop - yes, I clearly still need a bit of therapy on the negative self talk at times. Brevity is over-rated - all interesting stuff, and thank you for sharing it. Yes, it's absolutely taking the time, it's doing the work to enable a positive reframing. It's only been relatively recently I've realised HOW MUCH work it takes to get better and undo some of the damage done, I think previously I'd been waiting for the right 'someone else' to make me feel better about myself. 50% down to the individual, minimum, I would say, with varying levels of 'top up' support and framing help from the right guide. "May we all fare well in reality" is fantastic - I concur, and what a great sentiment!
First video on my feed today.. had to give a watch..
Thanks for another very useful video! Yeah, I've *never* been anxious; only have *always* worried about how I'm gonna hold myself together and handle a situation (especially at work, where I couldn't turn around and leave a meeting) and *always* rehearsing what I was gonna say and how I'd say it. No problems there.
Thanks for talking about challenges related to re-training our brains out of anxiety, while also emphasizing the strength of our systems-focused brains. I know I've been using my systems-focused brain to rise to the challenge and cope with my anxiety, but not so much to help me actually overcome my anxiety.
It's good also to hear your recommendations about finding a therapist. I've been looking for a few months now without success, but I hadn't considered "going nationwide" and the value of using videocalls for sessions, and will try that.
Our systems-focused brains are SUCH a strength, it's crazy that it's only recently I've started trying to apply those systems to my own mental health and started to see -- if not immediate, then definitely incremental results and improvements in this area, rather than just feeling like my brain's getting pulled along behind a speeding car that I'm not in control of.
Good luck with the therapist hunt! Don't get disheartened if it takes a few tries, it can take a few before it feels like someone gets you. Or you may get lucky first time out! Either way, bonne chance!
Thank you for these videos. I'm self diagnosed in my mid 50's. Heavy masking throughout my life. Anyway, what is your experience with alcohol? I think that I use alcohol as a masking tool. Honestly, it is the only way I can attend a social event with people that I do not know.
For me, I drank my way through university, anxious and dysfunctional, before dropping out early, exhausted from it all. At the time: just what students do, right? Retrospectively: was 100% using alcohol as a masking tool to cope with the anxiety. These days I drink far less, but I also socialise far less. I do prefer to arrive 'pre-whetted' at any social occasions to take the edge off, mind, but not to a problem level I would say as I can happily not drink if I'm not seeing anyone. I haven't read this yet, but this book piqued my interest a while back (Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol: Drinking to Cope? by Matthew Tinsley & Sarah Hendrickx):
www.amazon.co.uk/Asperger-Syndrome-Alcohol-Drinking-Cope/dp/1843106094/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3MEMVK3N9JF5C&keywords=matthew+tinsley&qid=1694432630&sprefix=matthew+tinsley%2Caps%2C96&sr=8-1
@@amineurodivergent thank you. I will check out the book.
My first psychiatric diagnosis at age 14 was Generalized Anxiety Disorder at age 14. I still feel some level of anxiety at all times. Sometimes better sometimes worse but always there. No reason (that I can think of). I do also have PTSD so maybe that is part of it.
Have you heard of alexithymia? I'm a diagnosed Autistic person who has previously been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I was having a counselling session I was asked 'how did you feel'? I couldn't answer, swerved a reply only to realise later that I just didn't know. I live in a world of 'wrong' 'not wrong'. If I am mixing with other humans it's mostly wrong. There is no way that I could manage to do CBT as I haven't a clue what my emotions are. Many Autistic people have this. I'd be stuck in fawning / pleasing mode without being able to comply. CBT can be quite limited in being to help Autistic people but it does for some. If an Autistic person finds CBT too hard then it could well be because it is inappropriate for them ie they shouldn't blame themselves for not being able to do it.
Yes! Both heard of it and score very highly on self-tests for it, that's why I was mentioning it's absolutely key to landing on a therapist who 'gets' autism and its many presentations and knows how to work on anxiety with someone with an autism profile, plus how finding your own individual response system is key to pushing through it. Sadly, I also know how difficult it can be to land on a therapist who a) gets neurodivergence and b) gets you as an individual to help one through this wall.
Are you familiar with the Feelings Wheel? It sounds cheesy but it REALLY helped me break through being able to identify and define emotions better with CBT and start finding CBT useful rather than overwhelming and frustrating (which it 100% was at first)? (caass.online/fw )
I 100% agree that autistic people should NOT blame themselves if they're not getting on with CBT - I've seen first hand that it CAN work WITH the right guide, however, and (at the risk of upsetting therapists) I would be tempted to blame the therapist if they can't make CBT work for someone with autism and anxiety. Definitely not the autistic person's fault if it's not clicking for them.
The problem for anyone who uses the NHS for counselling is if they don't get on with whatever 'therapy' is offered to them then they can/will be labelled as non-compliant.@@amineurodivergent Yes I do know about the Feelings Wheel and have used it myself and have found it useful although limited . Glad that the CBT is working for you I hope that you get everything that you need from it.
@@BarbaraJackson-qu3is That's really frustrating to hear about NHS-funded therapy and being labelled non-compliant, sorry you've had to go through that wringer. I have 100% unashamedly used my privilege and salary to pay for private therapy where I can pick and choose whom I want to work with, and that is a privilege I'm very aware of. Those first few months, I burned through therapists until I landed on ones I liked that I felt 'got' me. There were lots who didn't.
If you can stomach it, I would recommend approaching some private therapists for an introductory session - most do their first/introductory session free of charge to see whether it's someone you might click with, free from masking and fawning responses. I'm really sorry the NHS has made it so difficult though, that's really disheartening.
Thx
Kierkegaard once said that « anxiety is the dizziness of freedom »
Running too many simulations will slow my brain
I love this, thanks - that's such a great quote! I wish I'd thrown that into this video now!
I finished the 4 week course but was disapointed there is no certificate unless you pay 😢
Anxiety for me , comes and goes and ussually when i am processing something that i am not happy about.
Sorry for the part I may have played in that by not being clear about the certificate! 😞
talking to a therapist who is not aware of adhd or asd is not helpful.