Boogie ... you're an inspiration, man. Please keep using your RUclips channel however you want, about whatever you want, and as real as you want. You'll always have caring fans that want the best for you. The rest that don't like that, can go bury their heads in the sand somewhere to hide from real life struggles.
Your the reason I made a utube account boogie after watching you for a year I wanted to support you, I enjoy the time you share, your never alone buddy I hope your inner smile gets stronger
As a blind person I try my very best to be happy. But I still get stressed almost all the time. Because it’s tough living in a world that is built for people who can see, and not billed for those who can’t see. But I am getting there every day. All because of assistive technology. I am writing this comment with my voice. Not my fingers. It’s awesome.I can relate with you on stress and depression, just keep being you, keep being great.
Acknowledging the hard stuff is important. The reality is a lot of creators are feeling forced to smile for the camera... its unhealthy but they’ve tied their livelihood to that positivity even when they are many feeling... your honesty is inspiring more people to be honest with themselves and others. We’re all stumbling through it...
emosh73 you fail to remember that Boogies a 40 something year old dude that also had to struggle to make it to where he is. You're jealous of his life as it is now with no real knowledge of what it took for him to get here.
emosh73 mate, I not once called, or assumed those things of you, so no there's no need to get as defensive as you are. ALL I said was that you don't know his specific struggle. I wasnt fed with a silver spoon either, and constantly watch people work half as hard for twice as much, same as you.
I really care about u, im brazilian but i understand english, and i think you are trully a warrior. I been fighting eschizophrenia some years, but like you, im indo the best mental state ive ever been. So keep going, keep fighting! You are not alone. Best wishes Jessica- Brazil
7 years ago, Diablo 3 brought me to you and your channel. LOL, I thought Francis was real! What made me subscribe is when you were honest about your suicide attempts and really, truly opened up to us for the first time. Basically you showed me your were a real person, and not a fake happy all the time while the camera is rolling youtuber that only shows the good times. Thats why I stayed, thats what made me love you. Stay strong boogie, were not going anywhere, we are with you. #Boogieknights4life
Kerry Cronic Vlogs this. I do not care what other people say. I feel boogie. I do not know if everything is 100% honest or true,nobody knows. But i feel him. I wish him only good. Sorry for my pidgin syntax
How about this anyone who don’t like him don’t click on his videos there is no reason to put someone down that just means there is a issue in your life that your hiding from.
Agreed. Helps tremendously. You're always going to have that spectre looming over your interactions and it's just going to make you feel worse. I've learned that I'm a lot happier after a relationship ends when I just stop talking to them. Let her go. It hurts, but it's worth it.
to an extent, yes. But his divorce is still very fresh, and I believe taht in a way keeping in touch about how they are doing is helping them cut ties. When they talk about new things they're doing they're showing each other its ok to move on, but at the same time they're checking in to make sure they're ok and thats how they might discover little things they still need to work out. In the long run this might be very helpful for them to properly process it all. Divorce in a way is a lot like someone dying. You lost someone and you're going through a process of grieving, which takes time. You wouldn't tell someone who just lost their wife through death to just 'move on' a couple months afterwards.
Boog, others have said it, and I will too: It's time to put your ex-wife completely behind you. Start winding down the regular communication; BE independent. It's hard, I won't deny that, but it's worth it for the sake of moving forward with your own life. Keep at it.
Caaarl: Agreed. Only once he has his feet fully underneath him, though. Then he can re-establish communication when he's in the right headspace. If he wants to. Sometimes, though, it's best just to make a clean and permanent break.
hood hussler I hardly watch his videos that’s why I didn’t know I remember he used to talk about his wife I think he talked about her in the h3 podcast saying how he can’t be without her
Keep your head up man, always wishing the best for you. You’ve never come across and whining or a victim, we all have stuff we have to get out. You have no idea how much just listening to you and watching your videos have helped me get through my stuff. You’ve literally helped saved my life, love you dude!
Boogie we know you're a really nice guy, but honestly I'd advise you to cut off contact with her. Not in a mean way, I know you'll probably avoid it because you'd feel it isn't justified but you've gotta put your own wellbeing before anything she wants here, trust me it'll help immensely.
This. She is a really nice lady and she deserves nothing but happiness and I really hope she is doing well but at the end of the day its pretty early in the divorce to still be in contact. I dunno, I don't know him personally obviously but I feel like it cant be doing much good.
Honestly, I think you're making a huge mistake by still communicating with her. Maybe in a few years but right now it doesn't sound like you're ready for it. It may not seem that way to you right now because you're living it, but trust me when I say you'll have a clear conscience once you distance yourself from her completely.
The Dro I totally agree. Although I haven't been married I've had two relationships over 6 years and first time round we stayed in touch and tried to be friends. I still had feelings for her and it made me miserable and unable to move on. Second time round I cut off all ties almost immediately. Tough at first but it's amazing how much faster you get over it. You can always be friends later on
100% agree this is such a bad thing to do.Lets cut to the chase never going to get back together and the more you spend in the frame of mind you are the more you will hurt.its time for you to stop talking about and let it go simple or you will never ever move on.One day she will meet someone and the two days talking won’t happen anymore then pain pain pain again.Cut ties take own time out move on.i have been there had the t shirt learned lessons now much better mind set.
I agree. I know its hard because you're naturally a nice person, but I think you need like a year break from communication, and you need to go see your therapist again.
Boogie I disagree that having your ex-wife in your life is a good thing. I feel like it prolongs the suffering and the memories which cause sadness. I think if you cut her out of your life you will move on faster, but I love ya man and whatever you do is cool.
Anarkyn Skywalker I was thinking this myself when i was watching the video. I know from past experience in order to truly get over something/someone, it’s best just to cut them out of your life completely. That recurring contact will never allow you to get over it/them.
agreed, i had to AGAIN cut the ex out of my life. it's hard since not many people know the true inner workings of us and we have that special conection, but for my own health i had to burn bridges to never return again. Hope Boogie reads this and understand. much love to him, those that have lived it know.
cut all ties man, staying in contact with an ex you still love is a self destructive prophecy. A clean cut always works better and makes you heal way faster.
nietrelevant It's a lot easier when you are the one who ended it but yeah. It's a good idea to seperate most of the time unless you are 100% OK with it as it is and it isn't causing you or them any frustration or pain.
bit easier when you have realistic dating options. Dude can't likely even try dating successfully until he reaches his goal...which can be motivating but leave you alone until then.
My 2 cents - you need a clean break from your ex. Obviously stay friendly but keep your contact down to a minimum. Sounds like heartbreak to me. Keep your chin up and try to move on. Best wishes.
Boogie, i cannot express how much you are helping me and many many more..I am a 23 student from Bulgaria, working full time in foreign city and sometimes everybody is feeling depressed, anxious, alone...and in those moment you and your channel are like a safe boat..you, sharing your experience, your life, your thoughts...it is priceless..i am really proud of you and i'm feeling you as my friend ..sending love from Bulgaria
This is your 'therapy'. You do whatever it takes to improve, to progress, to pick yourself up and keep going. Everyone wears a mask. There is the mask everyone sees, and then there's the face under the mask. It's very rare when people expose the face under the mask. It takes a brave person to show the face under the mask. If this is your way of recovering....then keep making videos. Keep sharing your progress. My wife and I recently shared a 10 year anniversary. It's difficult for me to understand/relate with your divorce. But everything else you're doing to improve yourself is wonderful.
Boogie, just know that if it were possible, almost all of us fans would love to give you a hug! So many times during this, I just wanted to like reach out and hug him, because God knows he has times when he just really needs to know and remember how many devoted fans he has who really want nothing but the best for him and how much we love him back for what he's done for us.
Anyone who hasn't gone through what you're going through will see it as whining. The 100% honesty in your title is something that people aren't used to hearing or speaking themselves. You have the time to accomplish what you want to. But between what your body can tolerate and what your mind can motivate you to do, you'll hit your goal. Remember how many people are on your side. You've come this far and the rest won't be easy, but dude... A bypass followed by divorce and you're still here? You got it. P. S. This comment isn't targeting anyone who reads it. If you've never been through it but can understand the struggle then good on you. Mad respect. It's the ones who life a nice leisurely life who talk shit that is the intended audience of this comment. Anyone else? Thank you for supporting the man.
Brandon Jeffers I didn't go through what he went through and I don't see it as whining. There really are good people, no matter what they experienced in their lives.
If you are like most people, you need to cut ties with your ex and stop reminding yourself of it every time you talk to her. It's tough, but cut that off completely and move along. It takes a couple of years but once you establish new norms, you'll begin feeling better. Stop hanging on man, you are doing yourself a disservice, trust me man.
Very much had the same thoughts. At least for now. Maybe reproach in a couple years...but more than likely, you'll find the charming nature of that person isn't quite as endearing as you remembered it to be.
I agree a hundred percent. Knowing that the person you used to love is still alive and well is more than enough. He should definitely cut the ties. There's also a saying in Turkish that goes like "A nail dislodges another nail". Finding someone else is also another possible option. I know it sounds cruel but, it works in a lot of cases, and you might get to know someone even better! Taking controlled and planned chances about relationships usually ends up in the best possible outcome.
Took me 2 years to cut ties with my ex, during which we hashed things out. We parted ways as great friends. Much like old high school friends you stoped talking to after school was over. Miss her terrible but yes, after all is said and done. Not talking to her is THE most bittersweet thing in my life.
I don't know how often you get out in nature, but I feel it could really help you. It sounds cliche, but it always helps me out. Going on a hike within the first 30 seconds of being on a trail my mind is completely cleared.
Heya boogie.. I know your probably not going to see this, but I’ve been watching your videos for about 8 years now believe it or not! You helped me develop into the young man I am now and I’m extremely grateful to say that you’ve helped me in so many ways. The community is here for ya man, we love ya ❤️
Boogie, man, you have to start moving on ... and that starts by distancing yourself from your ex. I think subconsciously there is a small part of you that thinks if you make enough videos like this that she will run back to you with open arms and everything will be good again. That she is watching these videos crying into a tissue and the love is swelling within her ... it's not happening dude. Show her STRENGTH, not continued weakness ... get out there and find who you were MEANT to be with. I've been there ... and I FOUND 'the one' ... hopefully you will too. You deserve it.
the key is to be one with oneself before finding another to be with to make oneself complete before jumping into another shared life would only strengthen and enhance the future either way
Martyn Stembridge think its more of a release for boogie. Talking about problems helps tremendously. Cant say i ever do but in my experiences when i did its helped.
I agree, he needs to break off this connection that remains on his own terms and by his own will. Otherwise i fear for the amount of pain he will go through when she finds that new guy and stops talking to him.
@SmilesAreDaggers This is so true, and I am finding this out and am forcing myself to be this way as well. Ive been married for 10 years and I'm only 30 years old, I need to figure out this life alone for awhile, and its been about 7 months since we filed divorce and well I am just now becoming to be OK with being alone. I tried a couple relationships but they never panned out, I still have alot to sort out.
I was gonna say the same thing. Boogie, yes do all the things you're doing but don't be talking to her like that anymore. You won't really be independent if you keep her close with the CONSTANT reminder that she's not your wife anymore. She can't be your friend, maybe years from now when you are loving yourself all the way you could try again. But it's just too soon Boogie.
I don't watch you much (basically just when youtube decides to put you in my recommendation tab) but it's so surprising to see you like once per month and see how much better you are looking. Forget about the fact that a few people "hate this content" it's motivating as fuck and even if a random person sees this video and it puts a smile on his face it's worth the bitching from a few.
2017 was the worst year of my life, and I took a lot of vicarious pleasure through you, Boogie. I was like "Oh, man, that boogie, he's finally getting everything he wants. It's all working out for him!" I was really happy for you. Then the divorce happened and you started talking a lot like how I'd been feeling: depressed, angry, confused, discouraged, and just plain broken--and cursed, because you knew that some of the damage never really heals. So it taught me why I've always enjoyed watching your videos: In some ways, we think very much alike. Something that helps me to...not necessarily heal, but at least cope...is to remember that the human mind is a very big place, and like the Earth it has a lot of variety, from the most beautiful mountains and valleys to the most brutal and blistering wastelands. Our thoughts are a traveler on a voyage of the world, and we can only really appreciate the vastness of our minds by appreciating the distinctness of our different emotions and mental states. The beautiful places are still there. Can we return to them (or perhaps in some cases see them for the first time), and if so how: Those are the questions of the day.
Josh Fredman absolutely dude. You got it. There isn’t true happiness, it’s just how you deal with it and keep pushing. I have bad depression and it’s always been a struggle but therapy has been helping. Thanks for sharing your story.
Boogie I’ve never commented on any of your videos but listen man don’t worry and don’t feel the need to apologize because you still feel heart broken.. the broken heart is the worse pain imaginable and vent all you feel the need too because at the end of the day venting and sharing your feelings is the only way to be able to move on. Things will only get harder and you will only miss your ex even more as time goes on but I promise you a day will come when your heart will feel complete again and not broken. Don’t ever feel guilty as time goes on and you hurt even more that’s 100% normal.
Hey Boogie! I just had to stop and say thank you. I can't tell you how much of an inspiration your videos have been over the past few months. We share a lot of the same struggles and there's a lot of things people without these struggles don't get, how you can feel two totally opposite ways at the same time... how things like success and "doing well" can sometimes even be HARDER than failure and "doing bad" if you're not a person who's comfortable feeling good. I've spent a good chunk of my life feeling like an alien and it means so much to watch your videos and not only see someone who gets it (or at least a good chunk of it), but someone who's also doing the work, physically mentally and emotionally, to try and improve their quality of life. Much love!
Boogie, let me tell ya, there's just no way for you to heal and move on if you keep yourself tied to your ex-wife and the relationship that you're missing but just is no more. I know it's hard to let go of someone you love and care for, but it just needs to be done once both of you decided to go separate ways. Now you guys need to build your own independent lives and get over those romantic feelings you still have, before you can even start working on a healthy platonic friendship. You know, you are far from being there yet, since it's way too soon for that, the divorce has been just months ago and the wounds are still fresh. You can't fool yourselves and pretend to be all platonic while there are obviously still a lot of feelings involved that keep you from letting go of one another and have your own individual lives. Boogie, you still share your whole private “business“ with your ex even though you're separated. This must tell you that something's off here. And you know, maybe your ex-wife is playing along for now, but it's mostly due to her guilt that she's feeling since she was the one who filed for divorce, which also came with a bad timing for you as you were going through those surgeries and dealing with a lot of issues at that time. She sees your struggle and though she decided to end this marriage and relationship, she still feels obligated to make up for that extra stress and pain this divorce has caused you. So she's being now extra nice and supportive towards you to avoid hurting your feelings any further. But you gotta understand that, unlike you, she has mentally processed and accepted the end of your relationship at least to some extend already, before she broke up with you completely. Such decisions aren't made over night. They are a result of a long time of unhappiness and frustration. For that reason, her emotional attachment towards you and that relationship, is most likely not that big anymore, and all she's wishing for right now, is being freed from those burdens of the past. You, however, seem to still be highly invested in that relationship and weren't ready for the breakup yet. So, you clearly gonna need more time than her to deal with the circumstances the way they are now. Especially since this woman seems to be one of the few constant things in your life among all those minor and major changes revolving around you, and it's understandable that you're longing for all that reminds you of that stability you used to have before, whenever you're feeling insecure about your future or yourself. But you gotta admit it's a pretty selfish behaviour to keep your ex partner bound to you and thereby not allowing her to have a closure and to move on with her life, which she clearly wishes, otherwise she wouldn't have left in the first place. It's gonna be very hard for her to focus on future goals, like a new relationship, if she's still gonna have a feeling of owing you something and hurting your feelings. And this feeling won't go away as long as you keep involving her in your life like you do, creating an impression like she never left and you're still a couple having a relationship on a distance. This can get very toxic for both of you eventually, it's a forced and unhealthy situation you both are putting yourselves into. You need to snap out of it, really, or it's not gonna end well for ya. For her and your own sake, and for the sake of your friendship you need to make a clear cut. You can't keep up this illusion forever, there needs to be a closure in that chapter in order for you and her to be able to move on and start a new life. Therefore you must realise that it doesn't do neither of you guys any good if you keep making yourselves emotionally dependant of one another. Distance is necessary so you can come clear with your feelings and figure your lives out for yourselves. It's just not possible to get over an Ex while keeping in touch with him/her, the human brain/nature doesn't work that way. The contact is gonna trigger those emotions that are connected to the ex, and those emotions are gonna be there as long as the Ex is gonna be a part of your life. So, if you guys really wanna have a healthy (!) friendship to enjoy and be happy with one day, instead of a toxic coexistence full of guilt and empty hopes, you gotta let go first and give those wounds time and room to heal. This would also mean to cut off the contact completely for a while. Maybe even for years. But only then, when all is sorted out and overcome, you'll be able to meet on a neutral ground, with no jealousy or other salty feelings involved, so you can be fair friends to each other. I think, your ex-wife deserves this chance just as much as you do. You have to make a mature and wise decision here, even if it hurts. But trust me, you'll be glad about it one day. Anyway, I wish you all the luck and success and accomplishments on your future journey, Boogie! Keep that fight up, and sorry for the long ass text. Just needed to write all my thoughts down so you can better understand the concerns many people are expressing about this topic.
SacredSecrecy epic comment mate sounds exactly like a relationship I was in a while ago. It was hectic figuring out and learning this lesson on my own. Cool stuff. Lol
It truly never ends as long as you keep in touch. It seems very civil and nice, but it’s just wrong. I know from experience. Sorry to be frank Boogie but we are just trying to help. I respect the fact that maybe you aren’t ready for that and everyone’s situation is unique. Good luck with everything, I’ll be watching your vids like usual.
DóhFada xBenjumanji Wow, I was really doubting anybody would even bother reading that long essay of mine 😅 Thanks, guys, for taking the time and for your feedback, I appreciate ☺
This needs to be voted up and Boogie needs to read this because this is 100% true. Boogie, you need to cut all ties to your ex. It's stopping you from truly being happy. No texts, sharing pictures, words with friends... nothing. I know this probably will not be read but honestly, you need to cut the ties so you can truly move on. Deep down inside you are hoping that there will be reconciliation and unless you are chasing that (and both of you are actively wanting to do so and working towards that... dating etc.) then you have to sever ties. It is honestly either hurting both of you in the long term or just hurting you if she is doing it just because she feels bad for you etc.
I generally don't like to give Boogie advice on what to do, given that we never know the full picture (evidenced by this video), but I really agree with this advice. Maybe you can talk to your ex again a few years down the road but continuing to talk to her now will make you feel the pain of the divorce every day.
STOP TRYING TO BE “FRIENDS” WITH YOUR EX. You need to let that go. It’s not healthy for either of you. Let’s be honest, SHE KNEW BEFORE YOUR SURGERY THAT SHE WANTED TO LEAVE. She just waited until you were slightly better to AVOID SO MUCH GUILT. Move on, Boogie. Start cutting the constant communication with her. Wishing you the best.
Hey boogie, I know you probably don't remember me but I had left a mean comment in the twitch chat on 5/16/2018 saying that you complain too much and it makes you less enjoyable. You read that comment and I know it probably didn't phase you much but I just want to apologize for that after watching your latest video. You've been through a lot and I forgot about that while writing that dumb twitch comment. So I'm sorry about that. I hope you have a good day.
These videos really do help! You're being honest with yourself and your feelings which is something we all struggle to do and I think it's important to be honest and fix the negatives rather than avoiding them like you said. Great video!
Boogie, my ex left me for another woman, (I know different from how you and your ex split), but...I tried to remain in contact with him and hoped for him to maybe come back. After 2 years (yeah took that long for me) of being hard on myself and thinking there would be hope, I was able to finally put my foot down, stop feeling low of myself, filed for the divorce, and cut all ties with him. He was shocked at first, but he let me go. I have no communication with him and I’m at a much better sense of mind and thought. It’s been 7 years and I have no regrets not talking to him since I have moved on, on my own. My thought is you need to just put your foot down, cut ties, no matter how much it hurts or bothers you. The wounds have healed for me, and I know they will heal for you. It just takes time. Love ya Boogie stay strong!
It was really powerful hearing this video from you boogie. And I would like to say, thank you. Thank you for being so strong and getting up everyday, and moving forward. I finally got to sub to you yesterday on twitch and I am incredibly happy to be able to support you even more! So much love to you boogie and everyone else❤️ -Gumiiwormz
Dude this the 2nd time you have made a grown man cry. You are one of people who inspired me every day to do better. Plz don't ever stop being yourself or ever stuff loving yourself.
Boogie, I've been watching you for years now, and I must say that you've made an incredible transformation from where you once were. Be proud of your accomplishments, because we have to live for today and the victories we gain today! You are doing a great job with all you do, and I honestly mean that. In the end, we're all only doing the best we know how...and the best you can is good enough. We're all cheering you on btw. You're gonna continue to grow from here! YOU GOT THIS! Lots of love from everyone out here.
Boogie, thank you for sharing so honestly. I went through a major breakup about 6 years ago, so I can relate to some of what you are feeling. I think you have the right attitude in reminding yourself to look the future and know that things will be better. When I was going through my break up, I kept telling myself " just throw five years at it. In five years you won't feel this pain." And that is true. My life has improved so much since then. Also, I was given the advice to not talk to or see my ex for 60 days. Even if you like your ex and want to be friends, it is helpful to have this time to learn how to be without them, have some space, and move on. I followed this advice, and thought felt excruciating at first, it helped me so much. I have passed on this advice to friends and they say it helped them to. Maybe you should try this with your ex-wife. Much love to you Boogie.
Dude boogie you really need to practice breathing exercises, mindfulness and proper posture. Trust me it's a life saver once you learn to not be so tense . I spent 30 years being wound up and up in my head not even knowing it so I know. Look into it bud. Love you booger.
Boogie, I’m glad you make these videos. 8 months ago I had the same surgery that you’ve gone through. I reached my 100 lb loss mark a month and a half ago but the scale has barely moved since then. I thought I was the only one and I’ve been beating myself up. Thank you for being honest about your journey with myself and others, it makes me feel less alone.
Man we all have problems. I got a divorce 20 years ago and it was my world coming down. The best thing you can do is do you. Find your passion and use that as therapy. Still see a therapist, but move on. I blame myself for my divorce, but I also learned from it. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Ankylosing spondylitis. My world came to an abrupt stop. I will never get better only worse. However I still need to move on and not fall into that trap. You are still young and the sooner you get yourself on the right track the sooner you will find someone new to share your life with. I have and it's great. Hang in there and remember it does get better.
Indy Custom Made I wonder what his passion is. RUclips and gaming were probably passions of his but now that it's his job I doubt they are anymore. It's too hard to seperate work and passion when you feel like your work is a chore.
Boogie, you always approach these videos with humility, even if you're telling yourself otherwise. I've been learning to enjoy life one day at a time: to be mindful of the current moment. I think you should just take it easy and enjoy where you are in your journey and where you are headed.
Boogie why do you feel you are doing this alone? It's obvious from your stats there are four and a half million people rooting for you. Please never think you are doing this alone.
I love you boogie, in the extent a viewer can share love to a content Creator. I'm 32 and I've been through a lot of what you have been through as well and i see so much of me in you. I was obese (not morbidly tho) and through so much struggle, self understanding and wanting with all fibers of my being to love myself, i managed to get to a very fit state. I complete in CrossFit, roller skates and usually do marathons, and i love my life so much right now. I try to get as many people as i can in this blissful way of living, loving one another and becoming better. I see you doing so well on this path, cause i see myself when i was at your point of this mountain. I can't tell you it gets easy, but i do can tell you it gets blissful. And you love that you endured the pain afterwards. You love yourself deeply for being the one that actually got there, and you finally trust yourself to truly take you to true happiness, even if new difficulties arrives, cause you know you can do it.
This is the content I appreciate the most. Thanks for sharing it with us. Totally true that there's no such thing as an adult, we all just do our best with what we have, what we know, and what we are working towards. ❤
If it sounds helpful, I have a friendly suggestion regarding the divorce. First I’ll say I understand it’s incredibly, INCREDIBLY hard ending a relationship that became a central part your life. I understand the unbearable feeling of emptiness that comes with it. I’m guessing you’ve thought about this many times, but I wanted to perhaps inspire some introspection on whether keeping in contact with her is helping or hurting you. My ex and I continued talking right after our break up as a way to cope with the pain of the breakup. We were in a similar situation where we both cared deeply about each other but we were not good for each other. Eventually I realized that was doing more harm than good. It’s like we were on an unsinkable ship together and then it sunk. The ocean was that deep feeling of emptiness and loneliness and she and I clung to each other to avoid drowning. Safe dry land seemed impossibly far away. There were times one of us tried to make it to shore but ultimately turned back to talking to each other out of fear of not making it... or worse, the person we care so deeply about not making it. But Boogie, you have to make that swim. It’s completely natural and understandable to want stay with that person who is seemingly keeping us afloat, but you’ll never be able to heal and move on adrift like that. Yes, moving on sounds like completely garbage. It may feel like giving up. But there’s no future for you or her in that unforgiving ocean. You’re both strong people and have friends who will be there for you. It took me years to do it myself so I am not at all judging you for not doing it yet. But at some point you’ll need to make that swim. You’ll need to let go of all contact so you both can grieve and heal. And I know you’ll both make it to better and brighter shores when you do.
Move on from your ex-wife, dude. You'll be happier in the long run. I tried being friends with an ex of mine, but she never returned a message I sent sometime ago. I started seeing someone else. Whether or not it will work out is a different story, but time will tell on its own.
Time does heal all. There is always better things to come. My girl friends have just got better over time. I know you can be truly happy in time, don't give up. Stay strong my dude.
James sounds like either a teenager dreaming of bigger and brighter things(namely sex), or a 20 something that is extremely inexperienced with women and the world. Even _if_ Boogie had a beta mentality, he still comes across as a good person that deserves better. No escort or a night of sex is going to fix a broken heart.
Ohh, I'd say cut it off with the ex. Once I did that, I was free. If you can do it start walking, turn it into a jog, and eventually running. You got this boogie. We love Ya man!
I agree on most of what you say and don't want to be 'that guy' but in my personal experience, it is today we should focus on. No hate intended, just something that got me through a lot.
Boogie ... From a bro to another bro .. Wisdom wanks mate .. They work. If you still want to talk to her right after, then you're still in love ... If you're cool & collected, than you were just in need of a release.
If it helps you to talk about it talk about it. If you think it will help others to talk about it talk about it. If people dont care they dont have to watch. Do what you feel is best. Great video keep it up. And best wishes hitting your goals.
Putting your life on full display like you do takes a lot of courage. I'm sure there's still details you keep to yourself but it's more than I'd ever feel comfortable sharing. I hope the best for you going forward.
Steven, you aren’t alone, you need to know that. I wanna say that I am here, but yet again that is wrong as well, we are all here for u man. You are one of the strongest most powerful men ive ever seen not only on RUclips but in general. Been watching you for the better part of 6-7 years now and I’ve only seen you come out on top. The moment you wake up in the AM make your bed and repeat in your head “I am unbeatable, I am unstoppable” and keep that in your head constantly throughout the day. I/we love you man!
The only reason she hasn't completely shut you out is her guilt, not love. She wants to enjoy her life without feeling responsible for what her actions could do or be doing to you. Best thing you can do is stop expecting a train to U turn. It can't brah, but a new "train" with a better "caboose" is gonna be coming into your station so long as you aren't staring down the wrong track expecting that old train.
aye aye sounds about right. It’s sad. She left him. She has every right to do so though. I know it’s hard for him but he has to move on and the only way is to start distancing himself away from her. Sure it’ll be a pain but it’s the only solution it seems now. He should also start looking for another woman as you suggested. I hope he does. He’s a good man. He deserves a good woman.
Tom Jäschke no shit idiot that's my point, do you really know her "reasons" no, you will never know. And just because she divorced a public figure that you like dosent automatically make her a bad person like so many on here make her out to be.
You are so damn inspirational. I am really proud of the fact that you are so strong. You can pull through. I know you can. I feel bad that I can't help you in this difficult time. Just know we all believe in you.
Me and my gf are kinda in a crappy place financially, and it really does feel like chaos in my head everyday, but hearing you talk about your problems too makes me feel better inside for some reason, idk if it's bc humans are selfish and I'm just glad I'm not the only one doing life wrong, but I really love your videos. Keep on pushing boogie, that's all we can do.
Just keep your head up buddy, it’ll get better. I’ve been where you are, and it’s not easy. Financial problems will go away with time and hard work, don’t let them cause problems that you can’t make go away.
Boogie. I can't imagine going through what you are going through. But I can definitely relate to the chaos of emotions you're describing. Back in 2016 I graduated, and then in the same semester, I started my masters degree, lost my father who passed away in another country, and moved to another city to be closer to school. Then the next year I lost my grandmother (who's health the family had been dealing with the whole summer), almost lost my father in law few times, and officiated my brother's wedding! Now I've graduated again and though things have calmed down, I'm still searching for that next step. So yeah. Talk about a mixed bag of emotional stew, as you so aptly put it! I say this not to compare our situations, but relate and to say these emotions are valid and entirely normal, especially when big changes come all at once. Lots of love to you! Keep doing what you're doing!
You are NOT friends with your ex. You call it beautiful (hope and denial) and simultaneously talk of the pain, hurt, and anguish. You will languish in the latter if you do not move on and stop acting like there is anything friendly about how you were and are being treated. It doesn't matter even if you were an ass during your marriage. Fix that about yourself, by yourself. Good luck making the best choices for yourself.
Wiskysin interesting opinion. Are you yourself married, or divorced? Was it an ugly divorce? Was in a lot of pain and anger? I can certainly see how divorced couples cannot and should not remain friends, but I can certainly see how some, May not hold on to past hurts and anger, and where there was no abuse involved, can remain friends. Divorce for some is a very sad but needed remedy. For some, The divorce is free of anger and hatred. It is just an acknowledgment two cannot go on as a couple without driving each other nuts. At least that’s my story, as my wife and I are still friends, and we have no illusions of getting back together again. We know that would be a very bad idea, but we were friends before we became lovers, and so we remain friends.
This isn't sarcasm -- respectful comment on your part. I'm married. Was nearly engaged to someone prior that I was with for 5 years in a live-in relationship, whom up and left out of the blue during a time when a close family member of mine died. I did love her, and instinct would have been to try to remain close with her in some hope she'd "see the error in her thinking." That can happen, but I don't think it does without space. When I created that space of no contact I realized I didn't want someone in my life who would cut and run in hard times, regardless. Relationships prior to that taught me to just let it go, and I did, completely. There's nothing friendly about what she did or what I've done to others -- there's always a scorned person to some degree in the immediate aftermath -- whether it's sheer anger or sadness of not wanting to have had the split. I don't go around telling people what to do. Eventually you can get to being on friendly terms with an ex after time has passed (which is different for everyone) and often times there are kids involved and there's no choice. There's a difference between friends and cordial, though. A friend means a lot to me and I just don't confide in random people since I'm more of an introvert. I would have a hard time trusting an ex in that way ever again. It's great that your ex wife and you are friends again, and maybe even didn't leave any time in between after the divorce -- do you think friends is the right word for you two now? Not asking for you divulge anything -- just something to ask yourself. I've been the one who left and it's definitely a power trip I get on when they vie for my attention and I'm emotionally disengaged. I have to imagine Boogie's ex is on that level. She holds all of the cards. Based on what he said, this wasn't mutual -- outside of him blaming himself that he deserved it. That in and of itself is a reason he should stay away from her until much time has passed and he's back to respecting and loving himself. Just my $1.99.
Or he could just seperate himself from the psychological connection he /had/ like normal people do when a relationship ends? You're taking the middleschooler approach to romance, you dont have to detonate a relationship when the romantic part stops. A normal person just changes their mindset and moves on emotionally, if Boogie is hurting himself by continuing communication its because he doesnt have the willpower to accept reality. Obviously some relationships end distastefully and cause a divide but I thought they ended amicably.
I'm 38 and I would call my approach to romance in the exact opposite of that of a teenager. I don't see the need for besmirching an opinion by likening my thoughts to that of a gradeschooler. If you want to be friends with your exes, go for it. In this case -- I watch this guys videos and he's constantly talking about her from a point of pain and talking about the good times, but now he's so sad. Duh -- 10-4...understood and to be expected! With that, he cannot possibly heal himself while he's carrying on talking to her and playing Words with Friends. He has stated that he didn't want this -- so that's not amicable. He gave away the farm and called it pleasant. Relationships as an adult involve deeper emotions that you can actually articulate what they are and mean to you, unlike a little kid. We are not robots. Beep boop beep INPUT NO LONGER ROMANTIC. INPUT BE FRIENDS. Beep boop beep. It doesn't work that way. Rationalization is the second strongest human drive and that's what's at play. Someday, once the healing has occurred, yes...he can definitely maintain a connection with her. That connection has never been severed, according to Boogie, therefore...he's not healing.
Roach Dogg My aunt and her daughter’s father are ex’s and have been for years for years. Two of my classmates used to date but broke up yet have stayed best friends for the last two years. My cousin broke up with her girlfriend at the start of this year, yet they’re both best friends. What the fucking hell are you even talking about?
I teared up when you said ‘this year was supposed to be the best year of my life’. As someone who also has been through a painful break up, although our issues aren’t the same we still both have issues we’re dealing with that effect us the same way. Sending you all my compassion, encouragement, strength and hope from here in Wales, UK
“There’s no such thing as an adult.” Wow. That is such a good quote. I’m about to be 22 and that so well explains why every year when I think I’ll “finally be mature” the next year I look back and think what a naïve idiot I was. We’re always learning and having breakthroughs and setbacks and we’ll never have it all figured out, but we can sure try to become the best versions of ourselves that we can.
Couldn't have said it better myself. The way I see it, youth is eternal. You can be in your eighties, and still have the mindset of a child in awe of the world around you as long as you see it that way. This is why age never makes one wise. It's definitely possible for there to be kids with more wisdom than any adult out there because of the ways they were raised. Truly, we're all children at heart. That will never change. Our naivety and curiosity knows no bounds. "Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional." - Walt Disney
Anna S I used to think that way too xD And then i realized how fucked up my brain was and how much work i have to do on myself before i'll ever become an "adult".. That's obviously not the case for everyone but i think it has so much to do with how your raised as a child, like the comment above said. So some people can be more grown up than others even though they are maybe decades younger..
Very idiotic quote. Wait until you have kids at school, a spouse, a household, various bills and all types of taxes to pay. Then come back to that quote to see if you still feel the same. You can force yourself to act young, feel young. But, responsibilities will always bitch slap you back into reality. And... Getting Old is a blessing in this terrible era we're living in. Now that's a good quote😂
Okay first of all let's not call boogie an idiot just because you don't agree with what he said. Secondly, I already pay various bills and rent, have a credit card, do my own taxes, have a dog that I am the sole caretaker of and have to pay for expensive vet bills and food, I work part time and just finished taking an 18 hour college semester. So according to your standards, when is the point that I become a "real adult"? When I have kids in school and a spouse? I've already had a long term cohabitation relationship so I know it's hard but not that hard. lol Tbh being an "adult" sounds like a walk in the park right now since all you have to worry about is your job and family and don't have the huge added stress that is school.
Plateaus are part of the process. I feel you, I have the same thing. Hanging at 219. Ugh. On divorce, that is going to come and go. It won’t go away fast, just give it lots of time.
Man. I come to this channel FOR THIS. I’m going through a separation right now and the burden of guilt, shame, sadness, mourning, and the burden of CARRYING others opinions can be deafening and debilitating. So ya, sometimes it’s nice to feel sympathized or empathized over. Thank you for saying that. And thank you for being honest about the seemingly contradictory dichotomy. Cuz it’s true. With any life change to that level there’s a tug of war. And it’s hard to walk through that and not feel literally crazy. So many days I’ve cried and felt confused or lost or angry or sad or even relieved. And so many days I’ve cried cuz I’ve felt ALL of that. But to hear you share gives me one more rope to hold on to and have strength to combat the voices that call me crazy, cuz I know I’m not. But it’s hard to not believe those voices when you’re in it. Thanks for being you Boogie. And for holding all of this with as much honesty as you can share. It matters and in a small way you’re helping me. So thank you ♥️ Wish you well my friend. Can’t wait to see 8 months from now for us both!
Also....not sure if you’ll see this, but writing down what I’m feeling or what I’ve felt at the end of my day has helped me a lot. Just sorting all the garbage out at the end of a hard day has been really encouraging for me. And has helped lift the burden just a tad.
As a divorced man in my late 30's, I can empathize with you boogie... Your a great guy, and I can feel sadness in your vids... I think your ex bailed on you at the time you needed her the most... She does not deserve your heart, and the love you give... You deserve to have someone who has your back. I mean REALLY has your back. It breaks my heart to see how far you have come, and to still vouch for your ex. She does not deserve the attention your giving her. I've been there bro, I just wanted to send some love your way boogie. Your a good guy, and the future is wide open for you... Don't close the door on yourself because your still putting your ex in front of You. She left you. Years from now. She's going to regret letting go of you. Keep your head up brotha. Your friend in Albuquerque, Tim.
Tim Archuleta If you're used to watch his videos and you understand women just a little bit, you have to understand that his ex did what was better for her. She had to go ahead to enjoy the rest of her youth without a broken manchild that is constantly crying because he has yet to keep his spirits together. A woman wants to be taken care of, a woman wants to feel strength, have laughter, good sex, kids and diversity. All of which he obviously lacks big time. All of which still don't garantuee that she'll stick around forever but it is needed anyway. Life is short and youth doesn't last long, so gone she was.
Nathaniel Said So , my comment was meant to let biggie know his fans got his back. I don't know much, but I do know that Biggie deserves better than what he got...
Yeah I agree. I think he needs a little me time. We've been watching a decline in this happiness for awhile. Although he has had a lot of good progress.
Dude, I'm a recent subscriber but you're one of my favorite RUclipsrs. All the vids you've posted have helped me with the hardship (and breakup) I'm going through. I am grateful for you.
Boogie, I know how everyone on God’s green earth says being friends with an ex is “mature” and healthy... but a clean break is better. I’d just not contact her at all. I’d delete her number and have nothing to do with her save any legal obligations. Advice from someone who’s been there.
Gohan Tanaka Agreed. Oddly enough, there's nothing mature or healthy about it. Almost never doe s a breakup or divorce end amicably, even the ones they say do. Alas, one party has deep seeded feelings they'll never shake sticking around masquerading as "friends."
Gohan Tanaka Not being funny, but I’m fucking sick of people telling him to cut Dez out of his life. Do you guys not get out much? Do you not have any friends? There are many people who break up and remain friends with their exes. It’s perfectly possible and IS far better than just cutting someone out of your life when you have unresolved feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Keeping contact with his ex wife might be comforting for Boogie - stop thinking you’re the expert all of a sudden. 🙄
I agree, everyone who gives this idiotic advise is either 16 or never had any real relationships... Yes, often it is better to completely cut ties with them, but most certainly not in every case.
Sam Cooper not generalizing much, right? This is definitely that situation. They don't have kids and he was bailed on when he needed the person closest to him the most. That is decidedly NOT friendly. I ultimately don't care what he does -- people are just sparing him prolonged agony, unless he just likes it.
Boogie, we understand. You're a human and you will do things that you may not always agree with. However, what makes you special is that you can stay strong throughout it. Keep inspiring others.
Man boogie I struggle with really bad depression myself. You are a much stronger person than I to push past it and still spread positivity. Keep it up man. Seriously your civility,relatability and honesty is a breath of fresh air of the offended yelling of society.
Hey boogie. I honestly think the best thing for you to do would be to disconnect from your ex wife completely. Maybe not forever, but until you're mentally stronger. Just....let that go.
I hope you give yourself a bit of time.. this all Just happened, really not much time has passed at all. One year isn't much to get through such changes. Big hugs from across the blue! It's wonderful to see your videos where you're outside walking your sweet pup. Chin up Boogie, we're rooting for you!
I think it's amazing that you're able to be so open and talk about what's going on in your life, you're an inspiration and keep moving forward! You got this!
The reason it's a bad idea to have that much contact with your ex-wife is emotionally the relationship feel still there. That's a form of hoping that you get back together. If you maintain that much contact it needs to transition into more formal conversations instead of casual conversations. What your doing here is "venting" and RUclips is an outlet for you to use because it always has been. In the long term these videos can provide depth into a situation for another person or a study into psychological professionals
Fitness is a marathon not a sprint....no pun intended. Concentrate on small changes that you KNOW you can do for life. This might be as simple as switching from whole milk to 2% then skim and switching to lower calorie varieties of the other things you eat. Just do it gradually and be patient. Than you can rest easy knowing you'll just get better every day. Not just in better shape but you'll gradually become more self-disciplined and confident. Baby steps and patience. You got this
Nothing but love for you, Boogie. It seems like knocking one wall down only reveals another, but you continue to push and push and push through. You're someone who I've never met but who I'm extremely proud of. Your story is a message, and you continue to inspire. Stay strong, Boogie!
You have so much courage. Bless you, boogs. Although you said it, just to reaffirm, it'll only be a matter of time before your goal is reached. With your daily activity and dieting, it's not an impossibility ! Much love and peace, brother ✌
Tbh, as a long (and I mean, loooong time fan). I absolutely do not enjoy the 'false positivity' on Twitter, because it doesn't seem genuine. If I wanted to see a bunch of pansy positivity, I'd follow some meaningless motivational quote account. The fact is dude, most of us are here because of how genuine you are. Just be yourself, and be human.
Lift weights with Athlean x. I'm not trying to be funny either. Jeff has some bad knees and I think bad shoulders. I'm sure he can relate to you, and be able to help you out
Genius Idiot you're right. But Jeff has said he's got them from lifting incorrectly for years. Jeff has now improved his form to not hurt himself anymore. I'm sure he can find a way to help boogie.
Its brand new territory for you, I hope it brings you comfort that you are on the right road. I've been living with bipolar disorder and a life so riddled with trauma that I've felt like a train wreck. You're doing the right things for the right reasons and any mistakes you might make won't do any harm because what I've learned for myself is that: intent matters. If you make decisions with the right intent, even if it's not the absolute best thing to do you will always be able to weigh the results after and find the next best thing. You're on the road to a better life and regardless of your results at the end of the next 8 months, if you commit yourself to this process, always doing the next best thing and never turning back, well then I believe you cannot possibly go wrong. Good luck boogie, I hope you can feel as proud of you as I am.
You talking is therapeutic to you, hearing you talk is therapeutic for me
100% Win win 👌
Seconded. Well said. ❤️
Yes exactly
Zico Tops - Yes
Precisely 😁👌!
Boogie ... you're an inspiration, man. Please keep using your RUclips channel however you want, about whatever you want, and as real as you want. You'll always have caring fans that want the best for you. The rest that don't like that, can go bury their heads in the sand somewhere to hide from real life struggles.
abdulsa
very well said osrs
Your the reason I made a utube account boogie after watching you for a year I wanted to support you, I enjoy the time you share, your never alone buddy I hope your inner smile gets stronger
You're*
Worry about yourself boy.
Boogie man, No one on this planet has any idea what they're doing, we're all just winging it.
Wing it till you make it.
i do. do you want to pre order my book
Nathan Burton I thought it’s fake it until you make it
But we're not fake people, we don't need to fake anything :)
As a blind person I try my very best to be happy. But I still get stressed almost all the time. Because it’s tough living in a world that is built for people who can see, and not billed for those who can’t see. But I am getting there every day. All because of assistive technology. I am writing this comment with my voice. Not my fingers. It’s awesome.I can relate with you on stress and depression, just keep being you, keep being great.
Your an inspiration as well my friend!
Nice brother can you hear other peoples comments to?
SIRflattestsoup he probably had a person writing it for him
How did you write this? Also I’ve just realised it’s almost impossible for you to read and respond to this.
FromHawaii What do you mean whats wrong with what I said? Its a legit question im not tryin to be funny...chill kid
dude ... trust me.. u need to take a break from the ex completely... u will know when its cool to be friends again
I disagree
Jessica Spruit well, you're a woman.
I agree
Of course women are fine friendzoning their exs. Lmao
Acknowledging the hard stuff is important. The reality is a lot of creators are feeling forced to smile for the camera... its unhealthy but they’ve tied their livelihood to that positivity even when they are many feeling... your honesty is inspiring more people to be honest with themselves and others.
We’re all stumbling through it...
Roberto Blake nobody is forced to do anything
Kiwi Bird they feel forced
Nah it’s cool you are still in contact and things seem amicable x
emosh73 you fail to remember that Boogies a 40 something year old dude that also had to struggle to make it to where he is. You're jealous of his life as it is now with no real knowledge of what it took for him to get here.
emosh73 mate, I not once called, or assumed those things of you, so no there's no need to get as defensive as you are. ALL I said was that you don't know his specific struggle. I wasnt fed with a silver spoon either, and constantly watch people work half as hard for twice as much, same as you.
I really care about u, im brazilian but i understand english, and i think you are trully a warrior. I been fighting eschizophrenia some years, but like you, im indo the best mental state ive ever been. So keep going, keep fighting! You are not alone.
Best wishes
Jessica- Brazil
Jessica Lira come to brazil
Força e Fé Jessica! For both you and
boogie!
7 years ago, Diablo 3 brought me to you and your channel. LOL, I thought Francis was real! What made me subscribe is when you were honest about your suicide attempts and really, truly opened up to us for the first time. Basically you showed me your were a real person, and not a fake happy all the time while the camera is rolling youtuber that only shows the good times. Thats why I stayed, thats what made me love you. Stay strong boogie, were not going anywhere, we are with you. #Boogieknights4life
Realest dude ever.
*hugs Casey Neistat* very real. Really makes you wonder. Fakest fuck ever...
Kerry Cronic Vlogs amen!
Kerry Cronic Vlogs this. I do not care what other people say. I feel boogie. I do not know if everything is 100% honest or true,nobody knows. But i feel him. I wish him only good. Sorry for my pidgin syntax
How about this anyone who don’t like him don’t click on his videos there is no reason to put someone down that just means there is a issue in your life that your hiding from.
Because I like this guy. He is IMO one of the best you tubers there is
Boogie you look really great honestly. We are so proud of you.
You must cut ties, its very painful especially when youve been together for so long. but you gotta move forward.
I agree totally
Agreed. Helps tremendously. You're always going to have that spectre looming over your interactions and it's just going to make you feel worse. I've learned that I'm a lot happier after a relationship ends when I just stop talking to them. Let her go. It hurts, but it's worth it.
to an extent, yes. But his divorce is still very fresh, and I believe taht in a way keeping in touch about how they are doing is helping them cut ties. When they talk about new things they're doing they're showing each other its ok to move on, but at the same time they're checking in to make sure they're ok and thats how they might discover little things they still need to work out. In the long run this might be very helpful for them to properly process it all. Divorce in a way is a lot like someone dying. You lost someone and you're going through a process of grieving, which takes time. You wouldn't tell someone who just lost their wife through death to just 'move on' a couple months afterwards.
SaarEskimo keeping in touch never helps in cutting ties. It’s keeping ties
can be damaging for both - opening doors for bad habits
Boog, others have said it, and I will too: It's time to put your ex-wife completely behind you. Start winding down the regular communication; BE independent. It's hard, I won't deny that, but it's worth it for the sake of moving forward with your own life. Keep at it.
I think he should be friends later when he's over it. If you try and be friends before you have closure then it's just going to make things harder.
Caaarl: Agreed. Only once he has his feet fully underneath him, though. Then he can re-establish communication when he's in the right headspace. If he wants to. Sometimes, though, it's best just to make a clean and permanent break.
hood hussler wait what’s going on isn’t he married ?
hood hussler I hardly watch his videos that’s why I didn’t know I remember he used to talk about his wife I think he talked about her in the h3 podcast saying how he can’t be without her
hood hussler yeah obese people are abusive and manipulative but idk
Keep your head up man, always wishing the best for you. You’ve never come across and whining or a victim, we all have stuff we have to get out. You have no idea how much just listening to you and watching your videos have helped me get through my stuff. You’ve literally helped saved my life, love you dude!
Boogie we know you're a really nice guy, but honestly I'd advise you to cut off contact with her. Not in a mean way, I know you'll probably avoid it because you'd feel it isn't justified but you've gotta put your own wellbeing before anything she wants here, trust me it'll help immensely.
Again, this. Most up-voted for a reason.
This. She is a really nice lady and she deserves nothing but happiness and I really hope she is doing well but at the end of the day its pretty early in the divorce to still be in contact. I dunno, I don't know him personally obviously but I feel like it cant be doing much good.
Talking to your ex all the time is only gonna make it worse.
king james488 wish I could say that to mine.... but I have to wait 11 years when our son is 18 first.
Igrad Tar Whore is a great term the fuck is you talking about
Wrong! DEPENDS. Sometimes it is completely positive.
Honestly, I think you're making a huge mistake by still communicating with her. Maybe in a few years but right now it doesn't sound like you're ready for it. It may not seem that way to you right now because you're living it, but trust me when I say you'll have a clear conscience once you distance yourself from her completely.
The Dro I totally agree. Although I haven't been married I've had two relationships over 6 years and first time round we stayed in touch and tried to be friends. I still had feelings for her and it made me miserable and unable to move on. Second time round I cut off all ties almost immediately. Tough at first but it's amazing how much faster you get over it. You can always be friends later on
The Dro maybe they will get back together in a year or two
So true!
100% agree this is such a bad thing to do.Lets cut to the chase never going to get back together and the more you spend in the frame of mind you are the more you will hurt.its time for you to stop talking about and let it go simple or you will never ever move on.One day she will meet someone and the two days talking won’t happen anymore then pain pain pain again.Cut ties take own time out move on.i have been there had the t shirt learned lessons now much better mind set.
I agree. I know its hard because you're naturally a nice person, but I think you need like a year break from communication, and you need to go see your therapist again.
Boogie I disagree that having your ex-wife in your life is a good thing. I feel like it prolongs the suffering and the memories which cause sadness. I think if you cut her out of your life you will move on faster, but I love ya man and whatever you do is cool.
No contact is a must. Especially for a guy like Boogie.
Spot on. Bad idea to keep contact with his ex-wife.
I was about to type the same thing. Totally agree.
Anarkyn Skywalker I was thinking this myself when i was watching the video. I know from past experience in order to truly get over something/someone, it’s best just to cut them out of your life completely. That recurring contact will never allow you to get over it/them.
agreed, i had to AGAIN cut the ex out of my life. it's hard since not many people know the true inner workings of us and we have that special conection, but for my own health i had to burn bridges to never return again. Hope Boogie reads this and understand. much love to him, those that have lived it know.
cut all ties man, staying in contact with an ex you still love is a self destructive prophecy. A clean cut always works better and makes you heal way faster.
nietrelevant It's a lot easier when you are the one who ended it but yeah. It's a good idea to seperate most of the time unless you are 100% OK with it as it is and it isn't causing you or them any frustration or pain.
bit easier when you have realistic dating options. Dude can't likely even try dating successfully until he reaches his goal...which can be motivating but leave you alone until then.
When I went through my divorce I wish I would have broken off all contact with my "x". That would have made things so much easier. Try it.
My 2 cents - you need a clean break from your ex. Obviously stay friendly but keep your contact down to a minimum. Sounds like heartbreak to me. Keep your chin up and try to move on. Best wishes.
pix8175 That's exactly what I felt too. He needs to cut contact with her for a while. It's probably doing him more harm than good.
Agreed. When you live in the past, you don't get to plan a future
Agree. I just made a lengthy post about this and my own experience.
Sending you good vibes and positivity for what its worth Boogie. It'll get easier brother!
Boogie, i cannot express how much you are helping me and many many more..I am a 23 student from Bulgaria, working full time in foreign city and sometimes everybody is feeling depressed, anxious, alone...and in those moment you and your channel are like a safe boat..you, sharing your experience, your life, your thoughts...it is priceless..i am really proud of you and i'm feeling you as my friend ..sending love from Bulgaria
This is your 'therapy'. You do whatever it takes to improve, to progress, to pick yourself up and keep going. Everyone wears a mask. There is the mask everyone sees, and then there's the face under the mask. It's very rare when people expose the face under the mask. It takes a brave person to show the face under the mask. If this is your way of recovering....then keep making videos. Keep sharing your progress. My wife and I recently shared a 10 year anniversary. It's difficult for me to understand/relate with your divorce. But everything else you're doing to improve yourself is wonderful.
Boogie, just know that if it were possible, almost all of us fans would love to give you a hug!
So many times during this, I just wanted to like reach out and hug him, because God knows he has times when he just really needs to know and remember how many devoted fans he has who really want nothing but the best for him and how much we love him back for what he's done for us.
4.4 million+ person group hug? Sounds like a nice record to set.
LowResGamr I mean, we have to surround him somehow.
If we all hugged him HE WOULD DIE SIR
2 to 3 people are more than enough to fully hug him, let alone 4.4 million. @Fahck Uherself, seek therapy.
Anyone who hasn't gone through what you're going through will see it as whining. The 100% honesty in your title is something that people aren't used to hearing or speaking themselves. You have the time to accomplish what you want to. But between what your body can tolerate and what your mind can motivate you to do, you'll hit your goal. Remember how many people are on your side. You've come this far and the rest won't be easy, but dude... A bypass followed by divorce and you're still here? You got it.
P. S. This comment isn't targeting anyone who reads it. If you've never been through it but can understand the struggle then good on you. Mad respect. It's the ones who life a nice leisurely life who talk shit that is the intended audience of this comment. Anyone else? Thank you for supporting the man.
havent gone through anything like this at all and I have nothing but empathy for him. I do not see it as whining
It's whining when you talk about the negative stuff in your life over and over again
Brandon Jeffers I didn't go through what he went through and I don't see it as whining. There really are good people, no matter what they experienced in their lives.
Alex L Dude you've missed a LOT of boogies videos if you don't think he takes responsibility for what he himself has fucked up...
I disagree. You don’t have to go through this to be empathetic. Some people need to accept that we’re all struggling in our own ways.
If you are like most people, you need to cut ties with your ex and stop reminding yourself of it every time you talk to her. It's tough, but cut that off completely and move along. It takes a couple of years but once you establish new norms, you'll begin feeling better. Stop hanging on man, you are doing yourself a disservice, trust me man.
Very much had the same thoughts. At least for now. Maybe reproach in a couple years...but more than likely, you'll find the charming nature of that person isn't quite as endearing as you remembered it to be.
agreed theres a reason the divorce happened so move on.
I agree a hundred percent. Knowing that the person you used to love is still alive and well is more than enough. He should definitely cut the ties.
There's also a saying in Turkish that goes like "A nail dislodges another nail". Finding someone else is also another possible option. I know it sounds cruel but, it works in a lot of cases, and you might get to know someone even better! Taking controlled and planned chances about relationships usually ends up in the best possible outcome.
It takes around year and a half to get better
Took me 2 years to cut ties with my ex, during which we hashed things out. We parted ways as great friends. Much like old high school friends you stoped talking to after school was over. Miss her terrible but yes, after all is said and done. Not talking to her is THE most bittersweet thing in my life.
I don't know how often you get out in nature, but I feel it could really help you. It sounds cliche, but it always helps me out. Going on a hike within the first 30 seconds of being on a trail my mind is completely cleared.
Agreed, being outside with nature really helps
I love you boogie! You're the best man and I always love watching you're videos. You always have a place in my life just with your videos man
Heya boogie.. I know your probably not going to see this, but I’ve been watching your videos for about 8 years now believe it or not! You helped me develop into the young man I am now and I’m extremely grateful to say that you’ve helped me in so many ways. The community is here for ya man, we love ya ❤️
Boogie, man, you have to start moving on ... and that starts by distancing yourself from your ex. I think subconsciously there is a small part of you that thinks if you make enough videos like this that she will run back to you with open arms and everything will be good again. That she is watching these videos crying into a tissue and the love is swelling within her ... it's not happening dude. Show her STRENGTH, not continued weakness ... get out there and find who you were MEANT to be with. I've been there ... and I FOUND 'the one' ... hopefully you will too. You deserve it.
the key is to be one with oneself before finding another to be with to make oneself complete before jumping into another shared life would only strengthen and enhance the future either way
Martyn Stembridge think its more of a release for boogie. Talking about problems helps tremendously. Cant say i ever do but in my experiences when i did its helped.
I agree, he needs to break off this connection that remains on his own terms and by his own will. Otherwise i fear for the amount of pain he will go through when she finds that new guy and stops talking to him.
@SmilesAreDaggers This is so true, and I am finding this out and am forcing myself to be this way as well. Ive been married for 10 years and I'm only 30 years old, I need to figure out this life alone for awhile, and its been about 7 months since we filed divorce and well I am just now becoming to be OK with being alone. I tried a couple relationships but they never panned out, I still have alot to sort out.
I was gonna say the same thing. Boogie, yes do all the things you're doing but don't be talking to her like that anymore. You won't really be independent if you keep her close with the CONSTANT reminder that she's not your wife anymore. She can't be your friend, maybe years from now when you are loving yourself all the way you could try again. But it's just too soon Boogie.
I don't watch you much (basically just when youtube decides to put you in my recommendation tab) but it's so surprising to see you like once per month and see how much better you are looking. Forget about the fact that a few people "hate this content" it's motivating as fuck and even if a random person sees this video and it puts a smile on his face it's worth the bitching from a few.
"You've got to feel it to heal it." Keep going. It's rough, tough it out. You'll be better for it in the long run.
2017 was the worst year of my life, and I took a lot of vicarious pleasure through you, Boogie. I was like "Oh, man, that boogie, he's finally getting everything he wants. It's all working out for him!" I was really happy for you. Then the divorce happened and you started talking a lot like how I'd been feeling: depressed, angry, confused, discouraged, and just plain broken--and cursed, because you knew that some of the damage never really heals. So it taught me why I've always enjoyed watching your videos: In some ways, we think very much alike.
Something that helps me to...not necessarily heal, but at least cope...is to remember that the human mind is a very big place, and like the Earth it has a lot of variety, from the most beautiful mountains and valleys to the most brutal and blistering wastelands. Our thoughts are a traveler on a voyage of the world, and we can only really appreciate the vastness of our minds by appreciating the distinctness of our different emotions and mental states. The beautiful places are still there. Can we return to them (or perhaps in some cases see them for the first time), and if so how: Those are the questions of the day.
Josh Fredman absolutely dude. You got it. There isn’t true happiness, it’s just how you deal with it and keep pushing. I have bad depression and it’s always been a struggle but therapy has been helping. Thanks for sharing your story.
Well said 🎯💯 👏😊
Boogie I’ve never commented on any of your videos but listen man don’t worry and don’t feel the need to apologize because you still feel heart broken.. the broken heart is the worse pain imaginable and vent all you feel the need too because at the end of the day venting and sharing your feelings is the only way to be able to move on. Things will only get harder and you will only miss your ex even more as time goes on but I promise you a day will come when your heart will feel complete again and not broken. Don’t ever feel guilty as time goes on and you hurt even more that’s 100% normal.
Hey Boogie! I just had to stop and say thank you. I can't tell you how much of an inspiration your videos have been over the past few months. We share a lot of the same struggles and there's a lot of things people without these struggles don't get, how you can feel two totally opposite ways at the same time... how things like success and "doing well" can sometimes even be HARDER than failure and "doing bad" if you're not a person who's comfortable feeling good. I've spent a good chunk of my life feeling like an alien and it means so much to watch your videos and not only see someone who gets it (or at least a good chunk of it), but someone who's also doing the work, physically mentally and emotionally, to try and improve their quality of life. Much love!
Boogie, let me tell ya, there's just no way for you to heal and move on if you keep yourself tied to your ex-wife and the relationship that you're missing but just is no more. I know it's hard to let go of someone you love and care for, but it just needs to be done once both of you decided to go separate ways.
Now you guys need to build your own independent lives and get over those romantic feelings you still have, before you can even start working on a healthy platonic friendship. You know, you are far from being there yet, since it's way too soon for that, the divorce has been just months ago and the wounds are still fresh. You can't fool yourselves and pretend to be all platonic while there are obviously still a lot of feelings involved that keep you from letting go of one another and have your own individual lives. Boogie, you still share your whole private “business“ with your ex even though you're separated. This must tell you that something's off here.
And you know, maybe your ex-wife is playing along for now, but it's mostly due to her guilt that she's feeling since she was the one who filed for divorce, which also came with a bad timing for you as you were going through those surgeries and dealing with a lot of issues at that time. She sees your struggle and though she decided to end this marriage and relationship, she still feels obligated to make up for that extra stress and pain this divorce has caused you. So she's being now extra nice and supportive towards you to avoid hurting your feelings any further.
But you gotta understand that, unlike you, she has mentally processed and accepted the end of your relationship at least to some extend already, before she broke up with you completely. Such decisions aren't made over night. They are a result of a long time of unhappiness and frustration. For that reason, her emotional attachment towards you and that relationship, is most likely not that big anymore, and all she's wishing for right now, is being freed from those burdens of the past.
You, however, seem to still be highly invested in that relationship and weren't ready for the breakup yet. So, you clearly gonna need more time than her to deal with the circumstances the way they are now. Especially since this woman seems to be one of the few constant things in your life among all those minor and major changes revolving around you, and it's understandable that you're longing for all that reminds you of that stability you used to have before, whenever you're feeling insecure about your future or yourself.
But you gotta admit it's a pretty selfish behaviour to keep your ex partner bound to you and thereby not allowing her to have a closure and to move on with her life, which she clearly wishes, otherwise she wouldn't have left in the first place. It's gonna be very hard for her to focus on future goals, like a new relationship, if she's still gonna have a feeling of owing you something and hurting your feelings.
And this feeling won't go away as long as you keep involving her in your life like you do, creating an impression like she never left and you're still a couple having a relationship on a distance. This can get very toxic for both of you eventually, it's a forced and unhealthy situation you both are putting yourselves into. You need to snap out of it, really, or it's not gonna end well for ya. For her and your own sake, and for the sake of your friendship you need to make a clear cut.
You can't keep up this illusion forever, there needs to be a closure in that chapter in order for you and her to be able to move on and start a new life.
Therefore you must realise that it doesn't do neither of you guys any good if you keep making yourselves emotionally dependant of one another. Distance is necessary so you can come clear with your feelings and figure your lives out for yourselves. It's just not possible to get over an Ex while keeping in touch with him/her, the human brain/nature doesn't work that way. The contact is gonna trigger those emotions that are connected to the ex, and those emotions are gonna be there as long as the Ex is gonna be a part of your life.
So, if you guys really wanna have a healthy (!) friendship to enjoy and be happy with one day, instead of a toxic coexistence full of guilt and empty hopes, you gotta let go first and give those wounds time and room to heal.
This would also mean to cut off the contact completely for a while. Maybe even for years. But only then, when all is sorted out and overcome, you'll be able to meet on a neutral ground, with no jealousy or other salty feelings involved, so you can be fair friends to each other. I think, your ex-wife deserves this chance just as much as you do. You have to make a mature and wise decision here, even if it hurts. But trust me, you'll be glad about it one day.
Anyway, I wish you all the luck and success and accomplishments on your future journey, Boogie! Keep that fight up, and sorry for the long ass text. Just needed to write all my thoughts down so you can better understand the concerns many people are expressing about this topic.
SacredSecrecy epic comment mate sounds exactly like a relationship I was in a while ago. It was hectic figuring out and learning this lesson on my own. Cool stuff. Lol
It truly never ends as long as you keep in touch. It seems very civil and nice, but it’s just wrong. I know from experience. Sorry to be frank Boogie but we are just trying to help. I respect the fact that maybe you aren’t ready for that and everyone’s situation is unique. Good luck with everything, I’ll be watching your vids like usual.
DóhFada xBenjumanji
Wow, I was really doubting anybody would even bother reading that long essay of mine 😅 Thanks, guys, for taking the time and for your feedback, I appreciate ☺
This needs to be voted up and Boogie needs to read this because this is 100% true. Boogie, you need to cut all ties to your ex. It's stopping you from truly being happy. No texts, sharing pictures, words with friends... nothing.
I know this probably will not be read but honestly, you need to cut the ties so you can truly move on. Deep down inside you are hoping that there will be reconciliation and unless you are chasing that (and both of you are actively wanting to do so and working towards that... dating etc.) then you have to sever ties. It is honestly either hurting both of you in the long term or just hurting you if she is doing it just because she feels bad for you etc.
I generally don't like to give Boogie advice on what to do, given that we never know the full picture (evidenced by this video), but I really agree with this advice. Maybe you can talk to your ex again a few years down the road but continuing to talk to her now will make you feel the pain of the divorce every day.
Your never alone you got us
He doesn't have that dog though, that dude walked out at the beginning.
I was going to say the same thing!
You’re*
I was waiting for someone to type that lol
STOP TRYING TO BE “FRIENDS” WITH YOUR EX. You need to let that go. It’s not healthy for either of you. Let’s be honest, SHE KNEW BEFORE YOUR SURGERY THAT SHE WANTED TO LEAVE. She just waited until you were slightly better to AVOID SO MUCH GUILT. Move on, Boogie. Start cutting the constant communication with her. Wishing you the best.
Hey boogie, I know you probably don't remember me but I had left a mean comment in the twitch chat on 5/16/2018 saying that you complain too much and it makes you less enjoyable. You read that comment and I know it probably didn't phase you much but I just want to apologize for that after watching your latest video. You've been through a lot and I forgot about that while writing that dumb twitch comment. So I'm sorry about that. I hope you have a good day.
These videos really do help! You're being honest with yourself and your feelings which is something we all struggle to do and I think it's important to be honest and fix the negatives rather than avoiding them like you said. Great video!
Boogie, my ex left me for another woman, (I know different from how you and your ex split), but...I tried to remain in contact with him and hoped for him to maybe come back. After 2 years (yeah took that long for me) of being hard on myself and thinking there would be hope, I was able to finally put my foot down, stop feeling low of myself, filed for the divorce, and cut all ties with him. He was shocked at first, but he let me go. I have no communication with him and I’m at a much better sense of mind and thought. It’s been 7 years and I have no regrets not talking to him since I have moved on, on my own. My thought is you need to just put your foot down, cut ties, no matter how much it hurts or bothers you. The wounds have healed for me, and I know they will heal for you. It just takes time. Love ya Boogie stay strong!
We love you Boogie!
Why? i just started following him and he seems nice
It was really powerful hearing this video from you boogie. And I would like to say, thank you. Thank you for being so strong and getting up everyday, and moving forward. I finally got to sub to you yesterday on twitch and I am incredibly happy to be able to support you even more! So much love to you boogie and everyone else❤️ -Gumiiwormz
Dude this the 2nd time you have made a grown man cry. You are one of people who inspired me every day to do better. Plz don't ever stop being yourself or ever stuff loving yourself.
Grow some balls
what a PUSSY
YOu need to see a therapist if you are crying to this.
Boogie, I've been watching you for years now, and I must say that you've made an incredible transformation from where you once were. Be proud of your accomplishments, because we have to live for today and the victories we gain today! You are doing a great job with all you do, and I honestly mean that. In the end, we're all only doing the best we know how...and the best you can is good enough. We're all cheering you on btw. You're gonna continue to grow from here! YOU GOT THIS! Lots of love from everyone out here.
You the man Boogie!! Thanks for the updates. Love u man!
HighKing 9000 fuck u
Martin Flash what time?
4:14
Boogie, thank you for sharing so honestly. I went through a major breakup about 6 years ago, so I can relate to some of what you are feeling.
I think you have the right attitude in reminding yourself to look the future and know that things will be better. When I was going through my break up, I kept telling myself " just throw five years at it. In five years you won't feel this pain." And that is true. My life has improved so much since then. Also, I was given the advice to not talk to or see my ex for 60 days. Even if you like your ex and want to be friends, it is helpful to have this time to learn how to be without them, have some space, and move on. I followed this advice, and thought felt excruciating at first, it helped me so much. I have passed on this advice to friends and they say it helped them to. Maybe you should try this with your ex-wife.
Much love to you Boogie.
Love you dude
Dude boogie you really need to practice breathing exercises, mindfulness and proper posture. Trust me it's a life saver once you learn to not be so tense . I spent 30 years being wound up and up in my head not even knowing it so I know. Look into it bud. Love you booger.
We all love him bro 😁
Isidorodavid Doro A fucking men
Hating me is conforming yeah lol
Thanks for all the hard work you put into these videos for us Boogie :]
Boogie, thank you so much for making these videos, you share your experience and it helps a lot and shows insight into situations I never saw before
Boogie, I’m glad you make these videos. 8 months ago I had the same surgery that you’ve gone through. I reached my 100 lb loss mark a month and a half ago but the scale has barely moved since then. I thought I was the only one and I’ve been beating myself up. Thank you for being honest about your journey with myself and others, it makes me feel less alone.
Man we all have problems. I got a divorce 20 years ago and it was my world coming down. The best thing you can do is do you. Find your passion and use that as therapy. Still see a therapist, but move on. I blame myself for my divorce, but I also learned from it. A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Ankylosing spondylitis. My world came to an abrupt stop. I will never get better only worse. However I still need to move on and not fall into that trap. You are still young and the sooner you get yourself on the right track the sooner you will find someone new to share your life with. I have and it's great. Hang in there and remember it does get better.
Indy Custom Made I wonder what his passion is. RUclips and gaming were probably passions of his but now that it's his job I doubt they are anymore. It's too hard to seperate work and passion when you feel like your work is a chore.
Wrong comment
I meant to reply to the other guy
Love u Boogie!! !You're the man!
CrashPower hey i loved your origins videos man!
Boogie, you always approach these videos with humility, even if you're telling yourself otherwise. I've been learning to enjoy life one day at a time: to be mindful of the current moment. I think you should just take it easy and enjoy where you are in your journey and where you are headed.
Boogie why do you feel you are doing this alone? It's obvious from your stats there are four and a half million people rooting for you. Please never think you are doing this alone.
I love you boogie, in the extent a viewer can share love to a content Creator.
I'm 32 and I've been through a lot of what you have been through as well and i see so much of me in you.
I was obese (not morbidly tho) and through so much struggle, self understanding and wanting with all fibers of my being to love myself, i managed to get to a very fit state.
I complete in CrossFit, roller skates and usually do marathons, and i love my life so much right now. I try to get as many people as i can in this blissful way of living, loving one another and becoming better.
I see you doing so well on this path, cause i see myself when i was at your point of this mountain.
I can't tell you it gets easy, but i do can tell you it gets blissful. And you love that you endured the pain afterwards. You love yourself deeply for being the one that actually got there, and you finally trust yourself to truly take you to true happiness, even if new difficulties arrives, cause you know you can do it.
Wow boogie. I don't watch all of your videos but you are shrinking man. Every time I see a video you have become tinier. keep up the amazing work.
This is the content I appreciate the most. Thanks for sharing it with us. Totally true that there's no such thing as an adult, we all just do our best with what we have, what we know, and what we are working towards. ❤
emperorincxt It's not true at all. Dumb, pseudo-philosophical bollocks.
Boogie your awesome, you always try to focus on the positive, very inspiring
If it sounds helpful, I have a friendly suggestion regarding the divorce. First I’ll say I understand it’s incredibly, INCREDIBLY hard ending a relationship that became a central part your life. I understand the unbearable feeling of emptiness that comes with it.
I’m guessing you’ve thought about this many times, but I wanted to perhaps inspire some introspection on whether keeping in contact with her is helping or hurting you.
My ex and I continued talking right after our break up as a way to cope with the pain of the breakup. We were in a similar situation where we both cared deeply about each other but we were not good for each other. Eventually I realized that was doing more harm than good.
It’s like we were on an unsinkable ship together and then it sunk. The ocean was that deep feeling of emptiness and loneliness and she and I clung to each other to avoid drowning. Safe dry land seemed impossibly far away. There were times one of us tried to make it to shore but ultimately turned back to talking to each other out of fear of not making it... or worse, the person we care so deeply about not making it.
But Boogie, you have to make that swim. It’s completely natural and understandable to want stay with that person who is seemingly keeping us afloat, but you’ll never be able to heal and move on adrift like that.
Yes, moving on sounds like completely garbage. It may feel like giving up. But there’s no future for you or her in that unforgiving ocean. You’re both strong people and have friends who will be there for you. It took me years to do it myself so I am not at all judging you for not doing it yet. But at some point you’ll need to make that swim. You’ll need to let go of all contact so you both can grieve and heal. And I know you’ll both make it to better and brighter shores when you do.
Move on from your ex-wife, dude. You'll be happier in the long run. I tried being friends with an ex of mine, but she never returned a message I sent sometime ago. I started seeing someone else. Whether or not it will work out is a different story, but time will tell on its own.
Time does heal all. There is always better things to come. My girl friends have just got better over time. I know you can be truly happy in time, don't give up. Stay strong my dude.
James Uganda And you have a douchebag mentality. Not everyone wants sex only, some want love.
Another beta XD
James Uganda This beta would have you picking your teeth off the ground if you said that to my face.
James sounds like either a teenager dreaming of bigger and brighter things(namely sex), or a 20 something that is extremely inexperienced with women and the world. Even _if_ Boogie had a beta mentality, he still comes across as a good person that deserves better. No escort or a night of sex is going to fix a broken heart.
Ohh, I'd say cut it off with the ex. Once I did that, I was free. If you can do it start walking, turn it into a jog, and eventually running. You got this boogie. We love Ya man!
fivebythree I ran my ex wife over with my car. That helped me immensely with my anger towards her.
Boogie you are us, we are you.
Dont ever feel you need to reach a higher standard than all of us.
Forget about yesterday, and focus on tomorrow.
I agree on most of what you say and don't want to be 'that guy' but in my personal experience, it is today we should focus on.
No hate intended, just something that got me through a lot.
Ben Hascom i respect that. 👍😎
Ben Hascom lol I wasn't gonna say anything but since you did... tomorrow never comes. It's always today.
Nicole 1988 maybe thats why i never get stuff done. 😁😐👍
Don't focus on tomorrow just focus on making progress one day at a time.
Boogie ...
From a bro to another bro ..
Wisdom wanks mate ..
They work. If you still want to talk to her right after, then you're still in love ...
If you're cool & collected, than you were just in need of a release.
Savi Guzman He still is in love. She's the one who divorced him.
If it helps you to talk about it talk about it. If you think it will help others to talk about it talk about it. If people dont care they dont have to watch. Do what you feel is best. Great video keep it up. And best wishes hitting your goals.
Putting your life on full display like you do takes a lot of courage. I'm sure there's still details you keep to yourself but it's more than I'd ever feel comfortable sharing. I hope the best for you going forward.
Steven, you aren’t alone, you need to know that. I wanna say that I am here, but yet again that is wrong as well, we are all here for u man. You are one of the strongest most powerful men ive ever seen not only on RUclips but in general. Been watching you for the better part of 6-7 years now and I’ve only seen you come out on top. The moment you wake up in the AM make your bed and repeat in your head “I am unbeatable, I am unstoppable” and keep that in your head constantly throughout the day. I/we love you man!
I feel you bro! your progress has inspired me too man... 60lbs down from 430 and still dropping...keep pushing bro.
The only reason she hasn't completely shut you out is her guilt, not love. She wants to enjoy her life without feeling responsible for what her actions could do or be doing to you. Best thing you can do is stop expecting a train to U turn. It can't brah, but a new "train" with a better "caboose" is gonna be coming into your station so long as you aren't staring down the wrong track expecting that old train.
aye aye sounds about right. It’s sad. She left him. She has every right to do so though. I know it’s hard for him but he has to move on and the only way is to start distancing himself away from her. Sure it’ll be a pain but it’s the only solution it seems now. He should also start looking for another woman as you suggested. I hope he does. He’s a good man. He deserves a good woman.
aye aye Wow, that was a really good way of saying it! I will tell a friend this, maybe he will finally understand. I hope Boogie will too.
How do you know it's not love, do you know both of them personally?.
Kiwi Bird People don’t get divorced without reason, dude.
Tom Jäschke no shit idiot that's my point, do you really know her "reasons" no, you will never know. And just because she divorced a public figure that you like dosent automatically make her a bad person like so many on here make her out to be.
You are so damn inspirational. I am really proud of the fact that you are so strong. You can pull through. I know you can. I feel bad that I can't help you in this difficult time. Just know we all believe in you.
Me and my gf are kinda in a crappy place financially, and it really does feel like chaos in my head everyday, but hearing you talk about your problems too makes me feel better inside for some reason, idk if it's bc humans are selfish and I'm just glad I'm not the only one doing life wrong, but I really love your videos. Keep on pushing boogie, that's all we can do.
Just keep your head up buddy, it’ll get better. I’ve been where you are, and it’s not easy. Financial problems will go away with time and hard work, don’t let them cause problems that you can’t make go away.
Boogie. I can't imagine going through what you are going through. But I can definitely relate to the chaos of emotions you're describing.
Back in 2016 I graduated, and then in the same semester, I started my masters degree, lost my father who passed away in another country, and moved to another city to be closer to school. Then the next year I lost my grandmother (who's health the family had been dealing with the whole summer), almost lost my father in law few times, and officiated my brother's wedding! Now I've graduated again and though things have calmed down, I'm still searching for that next step. So yeah. Talk about a mixed bag of emotional stew, as you so aptly put it!
I say this not to compare our situations, but relate and to say these emotions are valid and entirely normal, especially when big changes come all at once.
Lots of love to you! Keep doing what you're doing!
You are NOT friends with your ex. You call it beautiful (hope and denial) and simultaneously talk of the pain, hurt, and anguish. You will languish in the latter if you do not move on and stop acting like there is anything friendly about how you were and are being treated. It doesn't matter even if you were an ass during your marriage. Fix that about yourself, by yourself. Good luck making the best choices for yourself.
Wiskysin interesting opinion. Are you yourself married, or divorced? Was it an ugly divorce? Was in a lot of pain and anger? I can certainly see how divorced couples cannot and should not remain friends, but I can certainly see how some, May not hold on to past hurts and anger, and where there was no abuse involved, can remain friends. Divorce for some is a very sad but needed remedy. For some, The divorce is free of anger and hatred. It is just an acknowledgment two cannot go on as a couple without driving each other nuts. At least that’s my story, as my wife and I are still friends, and we have no illusions of getting back together again. We know that would be a very bad idea, but we were friends before we became lovers, and so we remain friends.
This isn't sarcasm -- respectful comment on your part. I'm married. Was nearly engaged to someone prior that I was with for 5 years in a live-in relationship, whom up and left out of the blue during a time when a close family member of mine died. I did love her, and instinct would have been to try to remain close with her in some hope she'd "see the error in her thinking." That can happen, but I don't think it does without space. When I created that space of no contact I realized I didn't want someone in my life who would cut and run in hard times, regardless. Relationships prior to that taught me to just let it go, and I did, completely. There's nothing friendly about what she did or what I've done to others -- there's always a scorned person to some degree in the immediate aftermath -- whether it's sheer anger or sadness of not wanting to have had the split. I don't go around telling people what to do. Eventually you can get to being on friendly terms with an ex after time has passed (which is different for everyone) and often times there are kids involved and there's no choice. There's a difference between friends and cordial, though. A friend means a lot to me and I just don't confide in random people since I'm more of an introvert. I would have a hard time trusting an ex in that way ever again. It's great that your ex wife and you are friends again, and maybe even didn't leave any time in between after the divorce -- do you think friends is the right word for you two now? Not asking for you divulge anything -- just something to ask yourself. I've been the one who left and it's definitely a power trip I get on when they vie for my attention and I'm emotionally disengaged. I have to imagine Boogie's ex is on that level. She holds all of the cards. Based on what he said, this wasn't mutual -- outside of him blaming himself that he deserved it. That in and of itself is a reason he should stay away from her until much time has passed and he's back to respecting and loving himself. Just my $1.99.
Wiskysin beautifully worded and I 100% agree
Or he could just seperate himself from the psychological connection he /had/ like normal people do when a relationship ends? You're taking the middleschooler approach to romance, you dont have to detonate a relationship when the romantic part stops. A normal person just changes their mindset and moves on emotionally, if Boogie is hurting himself by continuing communication its because he doesnt have the willpower to accept reality. Obviously some relationships end distastefully and cause a divide but I thought they ended amicably.
I'm 38 and I would call my approach to romance in the exact opposite of that of a teenager. I don't see the need for besmirching an opinion by likening my thoughts to that of a gradeschooler. If you want to be friends with your exes, go for it. In this case -- I watch this guys videos and he's constantly talking about her from a point of pain and talking about the good times, but now he's so sad. Duh -- 10-4...understood and to be expected! With that, he cannot possibly heal himself while he's carrying on talking to her and playing Words with Friends. He has stated that he didn't want this -- so that's not amicable. He gave away the farm and called it pleasant. Relationships as an adult involve deeper emotions that you can actually articulate what they are and mean to you, unlike a little kid. We are not robots. Beep boop beep INPUT NO LONGER ROMANTIC. INPUT BE FRIENDS. Beep boop beep. It doesn't work that way. Rationalization is the second strongest human drive and that's what's at play. Someday, once the healing has occurred, yes...he can definitely maintain a connection with her. That connection has never been severed, according to Boogie, therefore...he's not healing.
talking to your ex is a terrible idea. You should stop that.
Not necessarily. To each their own.
sprdvx No, it's always bad. One or both parties will get screwed in the end. Ex's aren't friends, that's a myth.
Just talking to an ex once in a while and being friends are two different things.
You get divorced to separate, not "remain friends" which Boogie made clear he is with his Ex. It's toxic
Roach Dogg My aunt and her daughter’s father are ex’s and have been for years for years. Two of my classmates used to date but broke up yet have stayed best friends for the last two years. My cousin broke up with her girlfriend at the start of this year, yet they’re both best friends. What the fucking hell are you even talking about?
As someone who has really bad cyclical thoughts, I relate. But personally I’ve always found it’s better to get it out. Godspeed.
Daniel Pezzi yeah, dwelling on the negatives just makes things worse generally
I teared up when you said ‘this year was supposed to be the best year of my life’. As someone who also has been through a painful break up, although our issues aren’t the same we still both have issues we’re dealing with that effect us the same way.
Sending you all my compassion, encouragement, strength and hope from here in Wales, UK
“There’s no such thing as an adult.” Wow. That is such a good quote. I’m about to be 22 and that so well explains why every year when I think I’ll “finally be mature” the next year I look back and think what a naïve idiot I was. We’re always learning and having breakthroughs and setbacks and we’ll never have it all figured out, but we can sure try to become the best versions of ourselves that we can.
Anna S well said..... I wonder where the term adult comes from? Like so much is wrapped in that 1 words from many separate facets
Couldn't have said it better myself. The way I see it, youth is eternal. You can be in your eighties, and still have the mindset of a child in awe of the world around you as long as you see it that way. This is why age never makes one wise. It's definitely possible for there to be kids with more wisdom than any adult out there because of the ways they were raised. Truly, we're all children at heart. That will never change. Our naivety and curiosity knows no bounds.
"Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional." - Walt Disney
Anna S I used to think that way too xD And then i realized how fucked up my brain was and how much work i have to do on myself before i'll ever become an "adult".. That's obviously not the case for everyone but i think it has so much to do with how your raised as a child, like the comment above said. So some people can be more grown up than others even though they are maybe decades younger..
Very idiotic quote. Wait until you have kids at school, a spouse, a household, various bills and all types of taxes to pay. Then come back to that quote to see if you still feel the same. You can force yourself to act young, feel young. But, responsibilities will always bitch slap you back into reality. And... Getting Old is a blessing in this terrible era we're living in. Now that's a good quote😂
Okay first of all let's not call boogie an idiot just because you don't agree with what he said. Secondly, I already pay various bills and rent, have a credit card, do my own taxes, have a dog that I am the sole caretaker of and have to pay for expensive vet bills and food, I work part time and just finished taking an 18 hour college semester. So according to your standards, when is the point that I become a "real adult"? When I have kids in school and a spouse? I've already had a long term cohabitation relationship so I know it's hard but not that hard. lol Tbh being an "adult" sounds like a walk in the park right now since all you have to worry about is your job and family and don't have the huge added stress that is school.
Plateaus are part of the process. I feel you, I have the same thing. Hanging at 219. Ugh. On divorce, that is going to come and go. It won’t go away fast, just give it lots of time.
You got this Boogie, much love. ❤️
Man. I come to this channel FOR THIS. I’m going through a separation right now and the burden of guilt, shame, sadness, mourning, and the burden of CARRYING others opinions can be deafening and debilitating. So ya, sometimes it’s nice to feel sympathized or empathized over. Thank you for saying that.
And thank you for being honest about the seemingly contradictory dichotomy. Cuz it’s true. With any life change to that level there’s a tug of war. And it’s hard to walk through that and not feel literally crazy. So many days I’ve cried and felt confused or lost or angry or sad or even relieved. And so many days I’ve cried cuz I’ve felt ALL of that. But to hear you share gives me one more rope to hold on to and have strength to combat the voices that call me crazy, cuz I know I’m not. But it’s hard to not believe those voices when you’re in it.
Thanks for being you Boogie. And for holding all of this with as much honesty as you can share. It matters and in a small way you’re helping me. So thank you ♥️ Wish you well my friend. Can’t wait to see 8 months from now for us both!
Also....not sure if you’ll see this, but writing down what I’m feeling or what I’ve felt at the end of my day has helped me a lot. Just sorting all the garbage out at the end of a hard day has been really encouraging for me. And has helped lift the burden just a tad.
As a divorced man in my late 30's, I can empathize with you boogie... Your a great guy, and I can feel sadness in your vids... I think your ex bailed on you at the time you needed her the most... She does not deserve your heart, and the love you give... You deserve to have someone who has your back. I mean REALLY has your back. It breaks my heart to see how far you have come, and to still vouch for your ex. She does not deserve the attention your giving her. I've been there bro, I just wanted to send some love your way boogie. Your a good guy, and the future is wide open for you... Don't close the door on yourself because your still putting your ex in front of You. She left you. Years from now. She's going to regret letting go of you. Keep your head up brotha. Your friend in Albuquerque, Tim.
Tim Archuleta If you're used to watch his videos and you understand women just a little bit, you have to understand that his ex did what was better for her. She had to go ahead to enjoy the rest of her youth without a broken manchild that is constantly crying because he has yet to keep his spirits together. A woman wants to be taken care of, a woman wants to feel strength, have laughter, good sex, kids and diversity. All of which he obviously lacks big time. All of which still don't garantuee that she'll stick around forever but it is needed anyway. Life is short and youth doesn't last long, so gone she was.
Nathaniel Said So , my comment was meant to let biggie know his fans got his back. I don't know much, but I do know that Biggie deserves better than what he got...
we love you man, very genuine and honest. we have alot of respect for you and care about you.
Please be careful with the burnout, physically and emotionally. We got you Boogie!
Yeah I agree. I think he needs a little me time. We've been watching a decline in this happiness for awhile. Although he has had a lot of good progress.
Dude, I'm a recent subscriber but you're one of my favorite RUclipsrs. All the vids you've posted have helped me with the hardship (and breakup) I'm going through. I am grateful for you.
Boogie, I know how everyone on God’s green earth says being friends with an ex is “mature” and healthy... but a clean break is better.
I’d just not contact her at all. I’d delete her number and have nothing to do with her save any legal obligations.
Advice from someone who’s been there.
Gohan Tanaka Agreed. Oddly enough, there's nothing mature or healthy about it. Almost never doe s a breakup or divorce end amicably, even the ones they say do. Alas, one party has deep seeded feelings they'll never shake sticking around masquerading as "friends."
God does not exist
Gohan Tanaka Not being funny, but I’m fucking sick of people telling him to cut Dez out of his life. Do you guys not get out much? Do you not have any friends? There are many people who break up and remain friends with their exes. It’s perfectly possible and IS far better than just cutting someone out of your life when you have unresolved feelings, thoughts, and emotions. Keeping contact with his ex wife might be comforting for Boogie - stop thinking you’re the expert all of a sudden. 🙄
I agree, everyone who gives this idiotic advise is either 16 or never had any real relationships... Yes, often it is better to completely cut ties with them, but most certainly not in every case.
Sam Cooper not generalizing much, right? This is definitely that situation. They don't have kids and he was bailed on when he needed the person closest to him the most. That is decidedly NOT friendly. I ultimately don't care what he does -- people are just sparing him prolonged agony, unless he just likes it.
Hey man, just wanted to say I am so glad this is therapeutic to you, because it is VERY therapeutic to me. Wishing you the best.
Boogie, we understand. You're a human and you will do things that you may not always agree with. However, what makes you special is that you can stay strong throughout it. Keep inspiring others.
Man boogie I struggle with really bad depression myself. You are a much stronger person than I to push past it and still spread positivity. Keep it up man. Seriously your civility,relatability and honesty is a breath of fresh air of the offended yelling of society.
Hey boogie. I honestly think the best thing for you to do would be to disconnect from your ex wife completely. Maybe not forever, but until you're mentally stronger. Just....let that go.
I hope you give yourself a bit of time.. this all Just happened, really not much time has passed at all. One year isn't much to get through such changes. Big hugs from across the blue! It's wonderful to see your videos where you're outside walking your sweet pup. Chin up Boogie, we're rooting for you!
You have a family with us my man, don't you ever dare to forget that, we love you!
I think it's amazing that you're able to be so open and talk about what's going on in your life, you're an inspiration and keep moving forward! You got this!
The reason it's a bad idea to have that much contact with your ex-wife is emotionally the relationship feel still there. That's a form of hoping that you get back together. If you maintain that much contact it needs to transition into more formal conversations instead of casual conversations.
What your doing here is "venting" and RUclips is an outlet for you to use because it always has been. In the long term these videos can provide depth into a situation for another person or a study into psychological professionals
PS. Don't follow your heart, it can get you into trouble.
Fitness is a marathon not a sprint....no pun intended. Concentrate on small changes that you KNOW you can do for life. This might be as simple as switching from whole milk to 2% then skim and switching to lower calorie varieties of the other things you eat. Just do it gradually and be patient. Than you can rest easy knowing you'll just get better every day. Not just in better shape but you'll gradually become more self-disciplined and confident. Baby steps and patience. You got this
Nothing but love for you, Boogie. It seems like knocking one wall down only reveals another, but you continue to push and push and push through. You're someone who I've never met but who I'm extremely proud of. Your story is a message, and you continue to inspire. Stay strong, Boogie!
You have so much courage. Bless you, boogs.
Although you said it, just to reaffirm, it'll only be a matter of time before your goal is reached.
With your daily activity and dieting, it's not an impossibility !
Much love and peace, brother ✌
Tbh, as a long (and I mean, loooong time fan). I absolutely do not enjoy the 'false positivity' on Twitter, because it doesn't seem genuine. If I wanted to see a bunch of pansy positivity, I'd follow some meaningless motivational quote account.
The fact is dude, most of us are here because of how genuine you are. Just be yourself, and be human.
Lift weights with Athlean x. I'm not trying to be funny either. Jeff has some bad knees and I think bad shoulders. I'm sure he can relate to you, and be able to help you out
Genius Idiot you're right. But Jeff has said he's got them from lifting incorrectly for years. Jeff has now improved his form to not hurt himself anymore. I'm sure he can find a way to help boogie.
polloduh i agree
Its brand new territory for you, I hope it brings you comfort that you are on the right road. I've been living with bipolar disorder and a life so riddled with trauma that I've felt like a train wreck. You're doing the right things for the right reasons and any mistakes you might make won't do any harm because what I've learned for myself is that: intent matters. If you make decisions with the right intent, even if it's not the absolute best thing to do you will always be able to weigh the results after and find the next best thing. You're on the road to a better life and regardless of your results at the end of the next 8 months, if you commit yourself to this process, always doing the next best thing and never turning back, well then I believe you cannot possibly go wrong. Good luck boogie, I hope you can feel as proud of you as I am.