There's a real PROBLEM with THERAPY & we NEED to talk about it...
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- We live in a world where everyone is like mental health is important, take care of your mental health, go get help, go get support, go see a therapist, therapy is convenient and accessible, and the list goes on! But let's be real, things are not perfect here, especially with our healthcare system. And insurance companies will make it extremely difficult to get access to the care you need, especially when it's something you cannot physically always see. As you know, I'm a therapist and I'm a huge advocate for therapy, caring for your mental health, and that is why this topic is of utmost importance for me. And one of the reason I make mental health videos online for those who cannot always get access to the care they need. In this video I'm talking through the SIX problems with therapy and what we can (maybe) do about it... what are your thoughts? What do you see as the main problem with therapy?
Let's say you are in therapy or have a therapist, here are the 4 things NOT to say to your therapist: • 4 Things NOT to Say to...
Are you gaslighting yourself?! Let's look at the 10 ways we might be gaslighting ourselves: • 10 Signs You're Gaslig...
More therapy advice and tips for both therapists and clients: • Therapy Advice
5 signs you need therapy: • 5 Signs that You Need ...
What happens in your first therapy appointment? • What happens during a ...
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As a therapist, I've never seen as much anxiety, depression and overwhelm than in these recent years. The mental health cost of the pandemic will be felt for many years to come.
I completely agree with you. I am a therapist as well and I am very concerned about the fallout of quarantine. And working from home. This is not a good idea. I wish more people would address this issue....
It's also the past 50 years of stripping the nuts and bolts out of society finally catching up with us.
This could not be more true especially if u were already struggling with depression and anxiety even before the pandemic. It quite frankly almost lead me to question weather I wanted too go on because I was not able to keep up the things that were so helpful to me too maintaining my mental health. This is why I carry such a resentment towards all the government responsible for the extreme lockdowns. I guess u could say I need to work on processing that resentment I carry
I agree.. we are only just seeing the beginning stages of the ripple effects. xoxo
Yes I too have seen a big up tick in all of those areas. It is hard to hear that there is still so much more access needed and not enough clinicians to fill that space.
Therapy was tough till I found the right person to talk to. I told one therapist something and she insulted me, saying that it was like a "15 Year old" would say. I knew she was the wrong therapist. My next one was fabulous, and she saved me from some dark things, and I'm better for knowing her.
what did you say?
Same here, with the exception it was like a "2 year old." I'm 65 with cptsd, bpd.
@@Oddity00 it was a compliment I received from someone. It made me happy so I told my therapist and then she insulted me, saying that was something a 15 year old would be happy about. It was the last time I chose to see her.
@@FriendlyNeighborhoodUnclePete Shocking
She wasn’t just the wrong therapist then, she was a _bad_ therapist overall. Therapists are supposed to talk to their patients with empathy, not insulting them with unsolicited opinions 🤦♀️
One of the most difficult things to wade through if you are seeking therapy for trauma, from my experience, is that therapists don't specify what *type* of trauma they treat on websites. For instance, if you are a survivor of something like childhood sexual abuse, that is not the same as the trauma of a car accident. As the client, you have to call and ask over and over and over. It deters many people with C-PTSD from seeking help and just relying on meds. It would be wonderful if therapists up front and without consultation will tell you the type of trauma they have experience with in treating.
Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I agree! Those 2 examples are very different from one another and therapists should specify! xoxo
I also feel like that all therapists need to be trauma informed, as that is a major issue for many of those with mental health issues.
@@janetslater129 I agree. I'm not a therapist, but I'm in therapy, and therapists simply aren't equipped with enough education to deal with serious trauma. From my POV, there needs to be separate licensing for different types of trauma.
Or therapists that say they specialize in 30 different things on their website. You can't specialize in that many things if you are a human. I've learned the hard way that a description including "trauma" or"abuse" does NOT mean "trauma-informed". After reading Lundy Bancroft's book, I looked into the 3 huge state universities here and not a single 1 has a course for undergraduate or graduate degrees in abuse/domestic violence.
Yes I agree. I think, as a trained EMDR clinician myself, we can treat a lot of traumas in general. Some will specialize and really work with certain types of trauma whether purposely or just by what the unerivers brings in their doors. But this is good feedback to have and for clinicians to do their best to specify a bit more to make it easier for clients to find the right fit.
Some people might claim that you're "weak" for choosing to see a therapist, but I find that it's a sign of maturity. The person can sense that they have issues, and are trying to work through them. In fact, Prince Harry stated that Megan Markle got him to seek professional health for his unresolved grief over Diana's death.
It’s a strong person that knows they need help and seeks it. I have been in therapy during several times in my life
Agreed!! I think we are actually even stronger for reaching out and speaking up when we need guidance and support. xoxo
Harry had therapy in 2016 before he met Meghan. He talked about it in Bryony Gordon's Mad World podcast in 2017.
He, Kate, and William also set up a mental health charity in 2016 called Heads Together.
The more you know 😊
Agreed. I grew up thinking it was weak and it took me longer to get help- I wish I had gone so much sooner. However after I finally started going and making progress. Then, my brother was having a lot of struggles - I kept trying to get him to get help, therapy, or AA, or any kind of support group (i.e. divorce support) - but he wouldn't, always saying I'm fine or I can fix this myself. Well, now he's dead - at 44 yrs old leaving behind two tween/teen daughters. While it wasn't suicide, my mother and I both say it felt like a long route to suicide, because of the continued harm he did to himself, and his refusal to get help. Even after he got his lung cancer diagnosis - it was like he gave up even more. No fight.. and it only took 35 days from diagnosis to death. But, I firmly believe it was his depression and social anxiety that led him to drink and smoke so much - that he killed himself. We need to make it more acceptable for men especially to seek support and help.
Def one thing I hear a lot working with men. A lot of men (and women) feel that way .
My first therapist told me my case was too serious and she didn't work with that kind of problems after the first session. She did not even try to help me someone else, just a "goodbye, thanks for the money". Told my last therapist and how it hurt my trust in therapists as a whole. I was going to her for 5 months, then she told me "oh by the way we only have 2 more sessions afterwards I'm not seeing any patients for at least half a year". Guess what, not even a single thought whether I'd continue with anyone else.
I simply do not trust therapists since. I saw 4 throughout the years, not one gave a crap if I was going to improve or not. They just took the money. I'm sure there are some that actually want to help. But it is impossible for the average person to know who those may be. I cannot open up to person after person. The reason I am still alive is that I bottle up my feelings well.
I scrolled past, then stopped and came back. Can't just pass you by.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
I wish you well.
That’s why the next time I see a therapist I’m paying them in Monopoly money until they produce results. Fuck em all.
Sorry to hear you had to endure this. You are not alone, I assure you. The therapy profession in general seems to be severely underregulated/unsupervised and the damage caused by incompetency in therapists fall upon those who need help, while the irresponsible practitioner laughs all the way to the bank.
I think someone should try to develop an app or something which collects reviews from clients of their experiences with their respective clinics, so that we can establish some real accountability around malpractise.
@@emil5884 Issue is, that requires you trust every user. That people don't just make up stuff because they had a bad experience with a therapist.
My comment is not traceable. Noone will ever know the identities of any of my former therapists. But if my comment would've been aimed at any specific person (for example on one such app), that would be extremely unfair, as the therapists must adhere to strict confidentiality, so they simply cannot defend themselves against malicious fake reviews.
I am so so sorry you had such a bad experience. Unfortunately, not all therapists are good at their jobs and offer the compassion and support that they should :( If you feel comfortable doing so, asking a friend who they see (if they like them) can be a great way to find a good therapist :) xox
Discovering virtual therapy was a game changer for me. My abusive parents used to trap me in any room, often my own, so that I couldn't escape as they inflicted their damage. So, no matter how much time I spend in the same room with a therapist, I don't ever feel like I'm not trapped. I constantly feel like someone is going to burst through the door and come attack me or force me to go to the hospital or something. What I like about doing therapy over the phone is that I can be in my car and I can be anywhere. This makes me feel so safe.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
@@veramae4098 I'm not sure what a bible quote has to do with my comment...
I am so glad you've found a good therapist and are able to do it virtually!! It's so important that we feel safe in therapy. xoxo
I can see how that would be of benefit to you, which is great. All of my therapy sessions are online, as my therapist is two hours away (although she's with my local counseling agency). If I had my choice, I would much rather be in person though. I sometimes feel like virtual therapy has this "wall" up, as we're only talking through a screen or cell phone. I guess I just like that more human connection.
@@brittanywilcox7377, probably nothing. It says in the Bible that one should work out one's salvation with fear and trembling. It does not mean you must constantly be anxious but it means that the peace will not simply fall onto you like a magic spell.
Collecting all of your courage to call therapists to make first appointments is such a huge deal. Being rejected due to limited capacities is nerve wrecking. Knowing it's really nobodys fault is confusing, because suddenly I don't know who to be upset with. It's like being sucked into a void and leaves you feeling lost.
Finding the right therapist is amazing when it happens. My therapist is so awesome, but it took me several tries to find her.
That is awesome you found someone to work with! So good to hear that when that happens.
I am so glad you covered this because a lot of people that talk about mental health online act as if going to one therapy session a few times will make you instantly better. People need to be more realistic and therapy will only change you if you try to change and even then it needs a lot of work
I’ve learned to prioritize what I need over what I want. My mental health is far more important to me than brunch with friends, professional mani/pedis or Netflix is are raising their prices often.
That's all good and fine until you have no income and no insurance and your retirement and savings run out. All that after you worked for 30 years and became disabled by no fault of your own and are now waiting 5 years in the SSDI approval process. Anyone can join the disability community at any time. #MEaction #MillionsMissing
Totally agree!! I always compare it to how many dinners out it will cost me, or other "extras" like starbucks that I can give up to get the help I need. xoxo
Yeah, but sometimes, what we NEED is a brunch with friends, a cup of coffee from Starbucks, or what have you to help our "feel good" chemicals get a jump start. Plus, most therapists want us to be out and about, doing things that we enjoy now and then. If that means having brunch with your friends on Saturday, and getting a coffee on Wednesday, then so be it. Life shouldn't be all work and no play.
Living in the UK, we're lucky enough to have therapy be free (how it should be) and accessible to everyone regardless of their financial situation. However, things are still far far far from perfect. Waiting periods are ridiculous, I had to wait 6 months from the last referral to get a single appointment and this is quite common. On top of that you only give you a limited amount of sessions, something like 12-16, and after those sessions you are dismissed, although you can refer back as many times as you want but of course you're not guaranteed the same therapist and again you may have to wait months and months. Things may be better in other areas of the UK but in the North East, it needs be addressed.
I have found they say you can self refer back but they'll often try to reject you automatically unless you complain and they may end up just re referring you to silver cloud which i found abit usefull but not groundbreaking.I guess it depends on your area but I found my iapt pretty poor. I also have come into contact with some terribly judgemental mental health practionera but some lovely and helpful ones. I definitely think state therapy is a luck of the draw which is kinda annoying. I think mind is better than iapt also but that's just my experience.
The biggest issue I've found is turnover. Burnout is so incredibly high amongst therapist and they often change locations/companies. At least in my personal experience this has been a HUGE issue. Once I finally get in with someone, it ends up being a short lived thing. That said most of my needs are just coping skills with the highs and lows and decisions I make with each
You would think that the people becoming therapists would have more psychological fortitude, but then again that’s probably why they became therapists at all 😂
@@HesGotaGun505 no matter how strong you are, hearing about murder, rape, incest, abuse, neglect, horrific details of every crime is enough to break anyone eventually
@@brianmitchell8680 You must know that that’s not the truth, right? Otherwise there would be no serial rapists, serial abusers, etc. Why do therapists give up at twice the rate of EMTs? It’s because most therapists are undereducated, incurious people who want the same status as a real doctor without any of the accountability or hard work.
Yeah I have seen that more often now than ever before. You can ask if you are able to follow them, or if they still accept your insurance, etc. I have had that save a few members of our community. xoxo I am hopeful that psychology graduate programs will start requiring we get into therapy ourselves as well. We need to build up that resilience to withstand the pressure and stress of our jobs. xoxo
@@HesGotaGun505 ORRRR (and this may be a shocker) therapists are people, too.
Weird how you used the most special cases to make your point when a lot of those people don't receive mental health services at all or cannot successfully be rehabilitated without some serious work.
One phrase my therapist used was "being comfortablly uncomfortable." That's exactly how I felt. It was so uncomfortable to talk about certain things but I was comfortable with him. That was a really good sign he was the right therapist.
That is a great phrase and what a way to check in with yourself and the ikey word was you felt comfortable with your therapist.
The whole therapeutic industry is a joke as the great majority cannot afford to get the help they need. Those that need the help the most are those that can afford it the least. Yet, the way the system works is to further ostracize and prevent people from getting the help they need.
I would go one step more. The people that most needed help and long term care, even in a supervised, controlled environment, won't be able to get it ....
... because they are homeless and terrified of the world.
That is one major problem, but there is another that Kati mentions every now and then.
Bad therapists.
I wish there was a better, stricter set of standards and better vetting of candidates for Master's or PhD/PsyD. This would include closer scrutiny in the practicum for licensure. Even a hunch feeling for a candidate that "something doesn't seem right."
There is an old practice from centuries ago that I reminded myself of just now. When a young man would try to physically enter a monastery, one of the older monks would tell him to go away. Or even throw him out. This would happen several times before the monastery as a whole would even consider a man as a candidate.
They needed to see his persistence. They needed to see he was patient. But most of all, they needed him to understand what it took to become a monk -- the structure, the discipline, the various sacrifices to a person's life, things of that sort. Because people can and will come to a monastery for all the wrong reasons, such as trying to escape one's past.
I know we need good mental providers. I know several who have already left the profession during the pandemic. I know we need more and more people in it to compensate for so many mental health issues, so that other therapists and psychiatrists are not so overloaded with patients/clients. But again ...
We need to let the right ones in.
That’s a health insurance issue, not a problem with the practice of psychology and psychotherapy.
@@benedixtify Health insurance is a free enterprise, so they have every right to not offer insurance for therapy, as it is not profitable. Are you saying we should force people to fund mental health for other people? That is slavery or indentured servitude. This is why Obama care was ruled to be unconstitutional.
They only way to deal with this is crisis directly is the country to focus on family and education.
The great majority of people requiring health care the most come from broken and/dysfunctional families, where there is often no father figure present in the home or to provide the resources required for the children.
If we don't focus on the importance of family and education, we are only going to be treating the symptoms and not working on the cure.
This is where therapy can help in a concerted, organized way. Yet, this is clearly not the case as there is a profit motive to do the exact opposite.
@@meierlinksd4996 WHY do they wind up homeless and terrified?
Mostly because they come from a broken family that was severely dysfunctional.
Yet public education, and the government, completely ignores this epidemic in our country that evolved because social services like welfare that encourage women to raise children without a father,
And because of the feminist movement, which started out to empower women, only to devolve into a ideology of hatred and intolerance for men and the male sex in general.
@@yayhoo8848 I agree that the system is designes to ostracize thise who need help the most, but your solution makes no sense to me.
How is public funding for therapy indentured servitude? Are all taxes indentured servitide, by that logic?
Now, what you say about focusing on family and education is also very vague. You mean teaching christian values in public schools?
I'll be the first to tell you that public schools and the education system as a whole are also a major issue, and they actually DO require more public funding as well, imo.
talking of telling the parents, let the therapists who read this know that's because my childhood therapist assumed it was safe to report to my parents that my rapist father got away with manipulating the story. if he didn't have access to what was told in therapy, we could have stopped him.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's absolutely appalling that they can tell parents anything at all. That makes them just an extension of the parent who is obviously not safe or the kid would talk to them instead of going to a therapist in the first place.
They all took advantage of my trauma. Imagine going to therapy for help & your therapist abuse their power via your trauma. I will try therapy again one day but I’m not there yet…
Yeah they literally have no accountability for any thing they do and they have zero investment in their clients. But then they want to have power over you. Recipe for disaster.
I experienced that. She took my weakness and stabbed me with it. She told me that I was a disappointment to God because I wasn't doing his work. 😔
Sorry to hear that. As a clinican myself it is hard to hear these stories that others in my profession do this. I do say in some cases you can report these to the BBS. There are certain claims you can make and the BBS will take those into account. My guess is if a clinician receives enough complaints about bx's then they would investigate.
The last mental health clinic I was basically forced to go to for like two decades because of access issues told me I was not allowed to "doctor shop" even if/when someone wasn't the right fit for me and was causing active harm to my mental health. Needless to say it's caused some issues that I hope won't get invalidated now that I'm free from that place and finally seeing someone else for the first time tomorrow.
Good luck!
Did it work out? Or did you have it right the first time?
I've been struggling with therapy for over a year, it really sucks. it's so expensive and so hard to find a good therapist that you can afford and is near you, and online therapy isn't the best option for me because I have zero privacy in my house, I'm so overwhelmed.
I met three therapist and it didn't work out, now finding another one is just too complicated
I feel you on the zero privacy in your house. I did online therapy sessions in my car for three years. Would something like that work for you?
So sorry to hear this is and was your experience trying to find therapist. As a clinician myself I wish thing were easier and more accessible. A lot of these things I d know other therapists also agree with,. There is a systemic change that needs to happen.
I have had a couple of really awful experiences with nhs mental heath staff. It's really affected my confidence because I feel like I cant trust therapy as much now. I feel like I have been massively let down. I feel like I have been treated by some mental heath staff that I'm wasting there time or there for attention. I have had staff members tell me I need to change my questionnaire scores obviously to make them look better. I have heard dismissive phrases like "I know you think that happened but it didnt" ...about my own childhood. I was told off pretty brutally by the same staff member for not looking at her and saying hi in the medical waiting room while waiting for an appointment she was busy talking to someone and I wasn't even there to see her, I didn't want to interrupt, i also have pretty bad social anxiety,the next time she saw me she laid into me. I was also rejected by self referral to iapt by a email filled with code and attached letter also filled with code and no signature. No text in the email just a computer automated rejection. After complaining it just felt like I was burdening them so I would probably never use iapt again. In most cases of accessing it for me it's been awful. I felt like i often dealing with invalidating comments and feeling like I'm not ill enough to access therapy. I found mind tons better but some nhs mental health practioners and iapt staff are not very helpful. Sometimes I would speak to a mental health practioner and it was just a tick box exercise every week you could tell they didn't actually care. I am now just going to try betterhelp and hope this will be better. After researching cbt and finding out the staff are appraised on who successfully completes therapy and doesn't come back or ends their sessions with positive questionnaire scores I can see how the staff end up resentful towards clients. If you have had simar experiences please check out cbt watch or try to find relative information about how the iapt process actually works.
I heard really awful things about the therapy that NHS offers, I know that CBT will not be right for me. I’m going to use headstrong, you have to pay but at least it’s less money. I may also sign up to better help if I don’t have success with them. I’m really sorry to hear about such experiences and I know that would affect me a lot as well. It’s hard enough asking for help, you already feel so vulnerable and to be treated in such a manner could drive someone over the edge. It’s pretty terrible
I was seeing a therapist for PTSD and night terrors. It made things worse for me. I'm the type that wants to bury it in a box and seal it with nails. Reliving PTSD and nightmares just doesn't help me.
Well i think it’s well known now that it’s not beneficial to relive trauma. Basically it works to help manipulate ppl. Kind of the same with “ repressed memories “
I went to a therapist for help with anxiety who made my anxiety worse. I’ve experienced nightmares and suffered in my friendships. My body feels tense most of the time. I reached out to the therapist who has not been able to help me with relief of my muscle tension. Use caution when looking for a therapist because some can cause more discomfort of your symptoms.
You have such an honest and sincere way about you that is very calming. When I hear you explain things I can feel my anxiety fade away♥️ thank you for being so genuine and putting free help and kindness into our world♥️
Aww I am so glad you enjoy the videos!! I am so happy to do it :) xoxo
I haven't seen my Therapist since the Pandemic, but I will keep trying. Thank you for this informative v/log Kati.
So glad your back!!!! I hope your time off was what you needed, and that your getting what you need with your therapist!
Thanks!! xoxo
I feel like I won the lottery with my therapist. She’s the absolute best. Professional, understanding, open minded, funny and I feel safe with her. It’s a game changer and life changing when you find the right therapist for you ❤
There needs to be a word about therapist fraud. Here in Ohio almost anyone can call themselves a "counselor," and one local college cranks out dozens of people with very little actual education or training who somehow work under someone else's license. Their therapeutic model is incredibly passive: "What do you think is the problem? What do you think you should do about it?" I honestly get more out of a weekly beer with a friend. If I actually believed that a counselor could give me some strategies, could give me some input that might make things better, I'd be banging on the office door. But as it is, after several years with three different counselors, I just don't see the benefit of a face-to-face relation.
Working under someone's license is illegal. They should be reported.
Yes these are great! As a clinician myself I relate to all of these and these are common feelings/thoughts that some of the clients I work with bring in with them. Good to have the conversation and to invite others into it.
I'm so glad I could find a therapist online. I found someone on the other side of the state who is perfect after years of trying off and on to find one local.
As a person going into this field, this was really informative and helpful! It’s really sad seeing so many people who are struggling because of the pandemic :( I have a feeling it will have lasting effects on people’s mental health, even when it’s over. Thank you for the video :)
I ❤️ how in this video, Kati mentions this. I been such a big fan for a few years.
I studied adolescent psych for three years and know this myself:
"Therapists are human beings too. College or university students studying to be a therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or psycho-therapist should see their own mental health counselors (not only during their educational life because it's part of their ciricullum but through their career too).🙂
Yes I dropped out to take a few years off school due to burn-out plus family emergencies, but I hope to someday when i'm ready, finish school and get my therapist license.
Your videos have cheered me up through some of my hardest times so thank you so much Kati.
It's thanks to professionals like you that many patients have the strength to stay strong and get through life no matter how many difficulties there are.
This video made me grateful that my therapist is totally awesome. ❤️
Thank you, Kati! This is so helpful and REAL. 👏🎉
Thank you for covering right fit. I've never had that, and frankly it's not worth my time anymore.
Kati I really admire your work, and I have been a fan for years, but for number 1, haven't you explained in the past that you don't/didn't accept insurance? That is probably the biggest cost barrier to therapy - very few people even have an extra $80/week to pay, even if it would get reimbursed eventually. One thing that I find frustrating about the field of work is when these barriers are so common practice that even those who discuss them participate in building them or at least propping them up. When I'm looking for a therapist, the first thing I look for is whether they take insurance and if they don't, I move on immediately. I can imagine that a lot of folks are the same way (and this is just with private insurance - Medicaid access is even worse)
A problem indeed! I’m very lucky to have a decent Medicaid therapist.
This makes her point about people not being able to afford it make more sense. I found it doubtful/confusing that "most" people (in developed countries) don't have insurance that covers therapy.
@@tiptapkey The issue I'm speaking of is that many therapists do not accept insurance. That makes it difficult for people to access therapy by using their health insurance. Many therapists don't accept insurance, and I believe Kati at least in the past, is one of those therapists who do not take insurance and requiring the client to pay in full up front, whereas with insurance they'd only have to pay a copay.
As a clincian myself taking on insurance is not always easy and often there are a lot of barriers. I think there needs to be a systemic overhaul for sure around insurance and therapy.
Therapists have their reasons for not accepting health insurance. It’s the awful healthcare system that’s at fault.
Thank you so much for this video. Truly appreciated it.
Thank you for your honesty. As a retired RN I totally get it.
I truly love your presentation, you're real and to the point, it keeps my attention all through your video. And your tone is not annoying! Lol.
Thanks for making this video - I recently found you & am glad I did.
Thanks for sharing another great video ❤️ As a therapist, I get counseling once a week and it has not only transformed my life but improved my practice. Keep the videos coming!
Glad you are back!
Thank you for addressing this. 😊
I agree. A family member was having a major mental health issue and got a name from a friend. They called and left several messages as no one answered the phone. They finally got a hold of the office and got an appointment for several weeks out, then there was an issue with insurance. So the person never ended up going cause they werent in a place to be able to deal with what it took to even get an appointment.
My heart also goes out to the therapists, I couldn't imagine shouldering all that trauma.
Omg! YESSSSS. I’ve never been so burnt out in private practice. I’ve had a long waitlist of cts for years now and my schedule is packed. I should be grateful but I’m exhausted. I feel like quitting this field.
One thing I've always been curious about is whether or not there are people, (especially therapist,) who think that CBT is B.S and the only legitimate form or therapy that works is classic old school psychoanalysis. I'm talking about the thing where you go once or twice a week for many years and lie on the couch and say everything on your mind and your therapist picks apart everything that happened in your childhood and probes your subconscious mind. I'm not saying that I think that, but I'm just wondering if there are people who think that and I'd love to hear what some of their arguments in favor of that opinion are, even if I don't agree with them. I don't know at this point, if I agree with them or not.
I love how your professor said that amazing ethics!!
(I have been diagnosed with Autism/Asperger's and ADHD.)
I'm being emotionally abused by my Wife. There were two times that I tried to bring it up with everyone. The most recent time has been the last several months. The first one occurred many years ago. During the first time, I was told by everyone that my Wife was a good person, I was too sensitive, and I was the abuser. Since everyone was telling this all the time, I began to believe it. I apologize to my Wife and began to endure the abuse because it was my fault.
During this time, my Wife and I went to one session of couple therapy, and it was so horrible that I called it off the next session. I was told by my therapist that the couple therapist would be able to see the abuse happening in front of them, but they didn't. My Wife kept on insisting on couple therapy. I just said, "No." And then, I had to deal her rage.
There got to be a better way to do couple therapy to protect a victim of abuse. Maybe, a couple therapist see the couple, individually until they are satisfied there no abuse going on.
I live in a town of about 20.000 but there are only 2 therapists locally that accept my insurance and neither were a good fit for me. My next option, since there's a lot of rural area around me, is to travel 60 miles each way to get to a bigger town with more therapists.
Ugh I'm so sorry Ray.. being in a rural community or just a smaller town definitely has it's perks, but finding a good therapist isn't always one of them. Are you open to online therapy and seeing if you could find someone that way? xoxo
I agree. I have been in a session, hit something important, but by the next appointment it has gone underground, so to speak.
My therapist recently lost her temper with me and told me, among other hurtful things, that I was wasting my life.
Honestly you should sue for malpractice
I've had therapists that were paid to care, but not paid for caring.
And I think it's from burnout.
It really makes things harder when I can feel their agitation and I have masking behavior. So my instinct is to say less so I don't trigger them.
So yes! Please get your own help so people like me don't have to mask in our sessions.
Also love your videos!
I tried to go to therapy about 3-5 years ago, and the insurance I had, didn't cover me to go to therapy, a phyciotrist yes, but a therapist no. They basically just threw me in a mental health hospital, and then threw me out when I was "acting normal". Now, I'm on hormone replacement therapy, because I had a hysterectomy, but honestly, the hormones have saved me more than any drug I've tried from doctors. Since I couldn't afford a therapist, I just wrote in a journal, that was the best I could get. I agree with you Katie, therapy is too expensive, and it should be more accessible for people who desperately need it.
I have a friend that was in therapy for a while, but they didn't want to keep going because their therapist told them that everything was confidential unless the reasons you mentioned, but that therapist shared everything with my friends parents. I don't know the full story, but from what they've told me, I've gathered that even basic stuff that's not really their parents' business, like crushes and that kind of thing, was shared without my friends permission. That's part of the reason I'm hesitant to go into therapy, because I'm worried that I'm not comfortable being shared, will be, even if there's no harm and nobody is affected negatively or positively, just something that exists.
Regarding therapist burnout, I think it's super important to ask whether they are getting adequate supervision support whether with a one on one consultant or through group support.
Kati Morton. thank you for a important new video very interesting topic I really need therapy but since my assessment diagnosis with a psychiatrist I haven't had a phone call or letter my therapy has been though the NHS luckily I haven't had to pay for therapy I wanted to get online therapy but I can't afford to pay for therapy iv been out of therapy sence 2019 still waiting and haven't been able to get back into therapy yet thank you for all your advice and information in this video about there's a real problem with therapy I'm glad you are talking about it ❤️
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
There isn't much I can do for you, just another reader passing by, but this might help.
@@veramae4098 thank you honestly I appreciate your careing surportive words
As a practicing LCSW I agree and am really concerned about the sheer number of referrals. People are depressed, anxious, traumatized and feeling very lost right now. The economic situation is adding to the pressure and it's alarming.
I just laughed when you mentioned couples counseling... This week, my friend and I began pre-couples counseling with my pastor and not only did I feel it helped me feel better, despite my fears of opening up to potentially someone new in my love life, I felt that was a sign from God that what I'm doing is right. Instead of jumping into relationships like I used to, my recent heartbreak made me realize I can't mess around anymore (i.e. date whoever is nice to me and/or expresses interest in me), I have to take this seriously if I want my next relationship to be my last (even if it's not with my friend). I wanna keep doing the counseling throughout the relationship, I want it to work out.
I loved when you stated we should take “at least” two days a week off of work!
Fascinating and informative.
Would love to become the therapist I never had. Thank you Kati
Total overhaul needed but seeing changes slowly being investigated.
Love ya 🇨🇦
For me an hour is just enough time to go through all the worst social challenges of being there but just short enough that by the time I start to be comfortable and order my thoughts on what I need to talk about, and the courage to enforce it on the conversation I have to leave, with less money, and just feeling generally like I might be being used.
I need to find a new therapist I can talk to easier then and asks me every question under the damn sun so I can word vomit everything I've held in.
It just feels like such a time crunch. I wasn't sure if it was the therapist or therapy that was making me feel like I can't just speak and find the things I need to in the moment, I have to write a list of my problems, recite them, then get the same advice that makes me want to die within the time limit.
I just want to figure out why I'm so afraid of everything instead of constantly being pressured to perform how I should. Within an hour.
The last part is SO important. I heal better with a person I trust. That does for doctirs and therapists. You can give me a magic cure for all my problems but if I don't trust the person, all the research doesn't matter. I wouldn't believe it works, and i wouldn't take it.
For me it is the getting the help even though I’m near a city (about an hour) still have to set up my appointments on my days off so I can make it. Recently hitting the money issue as well. My therapist has hinted that she would like me in more often but at $220 a visit it is hard to budget in. I don’t think where I go is a sliding scale because it is through a hospital.
The burn out is a real thing too. I had one therapist quit about a year ago than it was about a month to find a new one. Also last week my psychiatrist is quiet now because it is too busy here and needs a break.
I'm so grateful for my country's wellfare system.. We never have to pay more than a certain amount per year for healthcare (including mental).. right now the cost roof is at 1200SEK (which is like $120)
This was so interesting! Didn't know the rule about couples counseling.
taking a look at peer support / peer counseling might be helpful as well. Peer counselors (they have different titles in different locations) but, you get to talk to someone who is in recovery themselves and is allowed to share their story and what worked for them. Some people find it really helpful to work with someone who has kinda 'been there' before.
Because of cost I've had to rely on financial help from my church. I do my therapy I'm sections. I know the things I need therapy for and I pick what is the item that is most urgent work through it. Then I recover financially and try to save up for the next thing with the same therapist. So far its been working well.
This was helpful.
Been to a college therapy center before. Yes it was free, I ended up asking for a referral because I just cannot handle a therapist that keeps canceling on me and keeps being late. My friend was way luckier and got good free therapist from the same college at the same time, while I had to pay for mine. It’s extremely hard to not think the difference comes from him being white while I’m POC 🤷🏻♀️
Too short, too expensive, and everyone has the same prescription (deep breath) lol. You pay a lot to get told to do deep breathing exercises and if that doesn't work get on meds and deep breathe.
finally someby said that
That's a BASE
My therapist and I were arguing, as I try to talk about what she would do that I found upsetting, and she never liked that. I got frustrated and said, " I just want to end a session not feeling like a piece of shit!" He response was, " So would I!"
Sometimes therapy isn't a good idea.
The fact that therapy is still so overpriced in so many places is a flat-out disgrace. The world lags so much behind, not realising that good mental health care is an essential need. Not necessarily blaming individual clinics for this--though some are for sure just greedy (which IMHO should be considered malpractise; price-gouging)--but governments across the world needs to come around to the view that mental health is an integral part of health care--just like dentistry by the way--and not something that is suitable as a special privilege. The bonus there would be that then perhaps governments across the world would maybe think twice before tanking the mental health of the entire nation(s) as observed in recent events.
Good points 👌
I have been going to a low cost clinic in my area. It has truly been a life saver.
$170 for the DSM - 5 - TR. Yes, just for a book. Costs are going up across the board. There are agencies who also offer reduced cost therapy. Open Path Collective offers access to therapists for between $30 and $60.
I also want to point idea just like in parenting, the idea of a good enough therapist. Yes you should feel safe and heard! But therapists are human too and sometimes they may say something that annoys you or you might not like their suggestion. I've had many therapists and I actually made the greatest strides with the two that were good enough therapists.
I AGREE WITH THE FIRST ONE. I NEED THAT
I have a anxiety disorder and i feel alone so thank you i feel no one understands you helk me thank you
In France it's kinda the opposite like yeah we got experts in large cities, but they are the ones that don't take new patients, and the ones in small towns are rarely experienced enough to help people with tangled shit and unreliable memories they only know their textbooks which i already went over online a long time ago haha
do you think the great reset can bring good change to mental health care?
@@metasamsara pretty sure the great reset means everything will be worse for everyone but the Owning Class
My last therapist (that I was seeing for 2 years) didn't want to see me anymore due to my insurance which pays less.
She used another excuse to make her not look bad by saying I needed more help than she could offer. Which oddly enough she offers EMDR which is what I wanted and she said it wouldn't work for me.
She wanted me back in community mental health (county funded by state insurance). I was the only person in her practice on disability (her words) so I found someone else who wants to work with me.
basically, capitalism turns necessities into privileges.
Basically, exxcess turns privileges into necessities.
Yeah, for example the insulin pricing.
@@chisinau1302 I'm not going to defend price gouging on life saving or extending medicines, but they are still a commodity. For medical care to be a right, those providing it cannot be free to refuse. If you are not free to refuse your services, you are a slave.
For medicines to be a right, the person who produced them cannot have the right to his own labor, again, making him a slave.
If you take the time to think about what a "right to medical treatment" entails, it is actually a horrifying breach of basic human rights.
Europe gives us a glimpse of what "free" healthcare(mental health too) does...
There end up not being enough therapists to go around...
There are not enough people in this world who are both capable and willing to be mental health professionals...
A great deal of people who even become interested in psychology are often quite messed up themselves...
Human reality is really messed up.
@@jamesihrke5229 you're overcomplicating things. Why would you refuse a life saving treatment?
You will always know you have the connection to Doctor Ramani.
Insurance only gives so many sessions. In my experience, its very difficult to connect with a stranger, therefore coming to a point where you can develop a trusting relationship is near impossible,
and most therapists I've been to lack professionalism. Example is a therapist falling asleep as I was speaking, and others taking multiple phonecalls during my session. Came to a point where with my bipolar diagnosis, I go to a psychiatrist for 5 minutes every 3 months for my seroquel refill, and fortunately that works for me.
terima kasih telah berbagi sharing...semoga akan ada k bahagiaan..
You’re the best katie
Something I would like to see discussed more are the "rules" that some mental health clinics put in place that make no sense. For instance, the one in my area has a "three strikes and you're out" rule. This means if you miss three scheduled appointments within a certain timeframe, you are automatically kicked out of your program and have to start *completely* over. Meaning years of progress can get wiped out in a single moment of forgetfulness. And as someone with ADHD, anxiety, and depression, those moments of forgetfulness happen quite a lot. So, recently, I was kicked out again after managing to stay in for a good amount of years. Why do such ridiculous policies exist? I'm being treated for a mental health condition that impedes my ability to remember and keep appointments. But you're going to punish me for exhibiting the same symptoms you're supposed to be helping me manage? How does that make any sense whatsoever? I'll never understand.
Because of this, I've been heavily debating whether I want to go back to this clinic. It's the only one in my local area that's even partially accessible. I say partially because (1) they shut down the location that was closest to me, forcing me to travel 30 minutes to appointments rather than 5, and (2) another "rule" of theirs is that in order to re-register with them, you have to WALK-IN AT 8:00 AM IN PERSON. No making an appointment, just be sure to wake up super early and get there the moment they open so you can fill out all the paperwork and likely be placed with a completely different therapist and psychiatrist from the ones you previously had. So, for those reasons, I might be better off seeking help elsewhere, even if it means having to pay for it (the clinic I was attending was free based on my income). But I worry that I won't be able to afford it.
Jessica McCabe at How To ADHD did an excellent video on this topic. I highly recommend it: ruclips.net/video/aKUdadCsuRE/видео.html It's two years old, but it still applies to this day.
To anyone else going thru something similar: you're not alone. Don't give up. You are worth it.
That's another problem
And totally valid issue,
Therapists are too competitive for therapy to work.
This last time I got set up with therapy, I was told that because of the load, patients were only getting a half hour, once a month. Because of things coming up on their side, it was less. When I finally got my second therapist from that same org, she told me it was a half hour every two weeks, and then that after talking with me, she felt it was important I get a full hour, or at least 45-50 minutes. Again, it ended up less frequently than intended, even when she tried to power through being sick on the phone a couple times (which also meant she had to convince me that she still knew her limit and was still taking care of herself, too). Don't know what to expect of the next one, yet.
I've been getting this growing fear that after the pandemic and other issues that have been going on in the US and around the world, the already-overburdened mental health industry in the US, at least, is just... collapsing in on itself. More people need therapy, therapists are burning out so the remaining ones are getting the increased load funneled into them, seems like not enough available to help the burnt-out ones recover...
And I can only see the ones my insurance will cover.
It also seems the pandemic gave many people a chance to slow down from the overwhelm of the world, in a sense. Many non-essential workers were given plenty of leniency, flexibility, time to focus on family/self. It was quieter, almost calmer, depending on your circumstances.
Ofc with stressors like COVID, or the incredibly difficult experience of essential workers, death of relatives or friends, isolation, that takes a toll.
But after the generally calmer pace of life during the lockdown, and then being thrown back into the hub-bub of life... well, that was a whiplash. I know that took a toll on me.
I love you Kati.
Cga is a great podcast to get by on.
I've suffered from clinical depression since at least age 15 (I'm 64), as well as, at least since my early 20s, anxiety and PTSD secondary to multiple traumas in my life. In an approximately 40 year period I saw numerous therapists, a zoo of characters from A to Z- some good, some not so, others whose behavior verged on malpractice (lots of fun having a therapist scream at you for "not getting better," or, based on chronic unremitting depression, that "you'll end uo all alone by yourself in a small room," etc.). At this point I'm on medication prescribed by a psychiatrist once a month, but as far as therapy is concerned, I'm burned out and have no more to bring to it, nor do I see any benefit I can derive from it at this point, especially at my age- many therapists are reluctant to work with older people...
Also health insurance is really a struggle when getting them to cover therapy and psychiatry costs. I have to submit my bills and pray for reimbursement which is time consuming and exhausting, made all the more so by the mental health issues which sent me to therapy in the first place. So many therapists are not on networks. I've also had ketamine treatments which saved my life after a major trauma, subsequent renewed ptsd (i say renewed because it was not my first ptsd diagnosis) and it wasn't covered (so far, still fighting it) because ketamine and other psychedelics are an experimental treatment.
I love the therapist I have had for the past 6 years. She does give me a lower rate. My insurance has gotten better about covering therapy, but she doesn't take my insurance. I keep seeing her, because I don't want to start over with someone else. My therapist is excellent. She also teaches upcoming therapists at university. I go every 3 weeks. I do wish I could go every 2 weeks. I think every week would be too much.
Small town girl myself had 1 family dr for so long that I was 41 before they found all the important things that should have been caught 30 years ago.
Like a sociopathic single mom clearly neglecting her children.
I have found therapy very traumatizing
When there has been relational trauma it is very vulnerable and triggering to trust then if that person doesn’t recognize the care needed or gaslights or uses the patient as an experience toward their phd, one can feel they now have a new layer of trauma and it’s even more crazy-making to explain if someones already struggling to have their voice heard and honored.
It is hard to find a truly present trustworthy empathic therapist
I do appreciate your videos and understanding
I find people making careers out of being trauma therapists at times egoic and condescending
The patient can feel like a specimen rather than a sacred human being equally worthy of love snd respect
This celebrity culture seems unhealthy and deluded.
Thank you Kati for your transparency , care, and humaness.
Years ago my therapist told me that she and all her therapist friends were no longer taking insurance bc of the new requirements. I was fortunately done with that therapist.
When I was 15 my grandfather on my mom’s side died and then my childhood dog died my psychiatrist put me on antidepressants
I was sad but I wasn't depressed they just didn't want to actually deal with me just drugged me to make me numb
They also said I was depressed because I didn't party I had close friends but we usually just hung out and watched movies
This wasn't even the worst person I had
Months and year long wait-lists to see a therapist are also a problem. Same with acupuncture. Many also resent patients that have Medicaid insurance plans.
The problem I’m running into is I can’t find a therapist who can see me on a weekly basis. My insurance will cover it all of it, but all the therapists I can find can only see me every 3-4 weeks. I got out the the psych ward 7 weeks ago and I’m still waiting to start outpatient :/
Actually really appreciate this video at finally made me quit therapy.