👉 THE PURPOSE PROCESS IS LIVE: www.thepurposeprocess.com/?l=xxoifg9nxd Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment) 🚨 WATCH ME NEXT - I studied social anxiety in thousands of clients: ruclips.net/video/jCTgb-pxssE/видео.html - If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: ruclips.net/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/видео.html - Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: ruclips.net/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/видео.html - What I did to improve my social skills: ruclips.net/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/видео.html 👉 ATTEND A LIVE EVENT: www.noanxietytour.com 👉 APPLY FOR ONLINE COACHING: application.julienhimself.com/?l=ne0o7d3ky1 👉 BECOME A CERTIFIED COACH: certification.transformationmastery.com/?l=9c7oyrmlls
Sometimes people seem to freeze because they are waiting for a “permission” from the outside world. Growth came when J realized that I don’t need permissions.
I normally don't leave comments on youtube due to the same phobia that this guy has, fear of people judging me, embarrassed about being my authentic self, but after watching this I decided to post this comment becuase Julien has inspired me and given me courage. I can't imagine how I would be if I was on stage in front of those people, but I think sometimes it just takes a bit of courage to be ourselves.
Everyone has different fears. If you're extremely shy like this guy in the vid and you normally don't comment because of it then congratulations for taking a step in overcoming your fear. It may seem like a small or normal choice or decision but it's not when it's something that genuinely terrifies you so good work btw im also scared of people judging me, or being embarassed, that's why im watching this video, im 25
@@Hi_how_r_u_ Hey thanks for the reply! I'm glad to hear that you are watching Julien's videos to help with your fear of being judged. I used to think that I was an introvert but I realized that I am actually just an extrovert with a lot of social anxiety.
Massive respect to the guy on stage! But also massive respect to Julien, I’m kinda tearing up right now. He believes in people so much even when they don’t believe in themselves.
Massive respect for real! I probably would've shutdown & knew later what I should've said. I hope he can get out of his shell & showcase who he truly is.
I can remember feeling like this man. Ive come a long way and it can be done. I can dance with and talk to anyone and speak in public. But i remember my heart beating out of my chest in school if the teacher called on me or aftaid to raise my hand even if i knew the answer and no one else did. I've definitely experienced trauma and thats probably what started it. But thats in the past now and life goes on. Gotta either sit down and accept the lose or stay up on stage fighting for yourself until you can't fight anymore.
Am proud of him. Self judging is what eats me up when I feel embarrassed than I sink to self hate and wishing I should not be alive among the beatiful people around me which makes me happier been alone at the corner watching people having fun
First of all, I’m not sure if what I’m saying is entirely right, but I wanted to share this with you: We’re all human, and the idea that we need to be perfect or always correct is something we’ve been taught over the years as part of our growth and learning. That said, don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep your environment free of toxicity and distance yourself from people who make you feel anything less than great. It might be difficult at first, but with time, you’ll learn and grow stronger. And also you deserve the world, sweetheart. 🩵🩵🩵
I loved how the audience started engaging him so he felt comfortable opening up. I am learning so much from you. My bar is so high - I need a sledgehammer to lower it!
This was probably the greatest video about anxiety. We overthink , and we don’t feel our emotions. You cant express without emotion. Go cry. This is also for me as well, I repress emotions/opinions , not this bad but I do . We dont know how to live with who we are shamelessly.
Also julian, you are amazing. Truly a master class. Just watching you do whatever you want and behaving how you want is the model for letting go and living. No hesitation, just whatever comes. This is why mental health is so important. It’s everything.
he went straight into freeze and shutdown mode - his nervous system is a 9/10 and at that point the mind cannot form thought. I recognize Juliens trying to elevate him to anger instead of the sadness/numbness but I feel perhaps taking a moment to close the eyes, some deep breathing and a little body movement to calm the nervous system and loosen up might have been a much better approach - just my ideas.
I wouldve honestly started crying. Feeling ashamed and judged for not being able to articulate or do "whats expected" of me. As someone who was always the new, weird kid (many school changes/moves) i became quiet and introverted. As i got older i learned to come across as confident and tried to showy authenticity but was constantly "validated" that people didnt like that person and would feel judged, critisised and my people pleasing nature would often be taken advantage of. Now im trying to be ok with my authenticity, regardless yet, still have few friends or people that get me. Its so tempting to just retreat back in my shell because it feels I will never make friends no matter whether im masking or authentic. This makes socialising, workplaces etc feel overwhelming - im so used to being judged and found lacking that I cant trust others or their intentions anymore.
Humans cant be trusted.lits of them say they trying to help you.but they just want a payday...like this youtuber is.embarrassing somebody infront of a crowd doesnt help.
Wow that was rough but beautiful at the same time. Massive respect to the teacher, student and the class. You all have so much love and patience. This, while not necessarily was exciting or entertaining, the process was needed to be worked through; not just for the student up in the front. Great work everyone!
i feel for this guy so hard :( I still have this part of me that feels a lot like him (introverted, scared to say the wrong thing, etc) but watching him squirm up there under the horrifying pressure he was put under helped me realize just how much progress I've made in terms of honoring how my inner child feels and wants to express himself. Thank you for the work you do julien your videos help me to feel like I'm on a good track on days when I start to doubt myself!
Well done i'm so proud of him pullin through, this video probably got recommended on YT i'm also an introvert and so shy for 28 years now. Tnx 4 helping him, being shy can make your life a living hell like you don't belong. I managed to overcome my fear of being shy just by being angry it took me a long time but it change my life drastically. Also i call it: "THE HULK EFFECT"
Pheeew! This was hard to watch. I almost couldn't finish this one. I know that "deer in the headlights" look and what feels like the inability to think or speak. For me it came from a whole lot of violence and screaming. Looking back I can see why and when I started going into survival mode (freeze). Now days, trying to shake that response to fear has proven to be the single most difficult thing I've ever worked on. Massive respect to this guy!
This resonated with me. I really know what that feeling of being blocked is like. I'm grateful for the opportunity to see it from the outside (huge respect and thanks to all participants in the video). And it's just this past year I'm beginning to relearn that you can create good things for yourself in life, better your situations. Instead of waiting, thinking that something outside of you will give permission or provide it for you or that you can "earn" it by suffering (which have been some of my misconceptions). When you listen to yourself, your needs, and care about yourself, the arena of possibilities changes. And also getting open to realizing that you might have been wrong. That the harsh judging voice inside have led you to believe a bunch of things on how the world works. Maybe you don't have to be all these additional things. You are okay. Period. Really. Life isn't meant to be struggle free however. But when you get on your own team, on your side, it can take away a lot of the suffering. Like Julian said with the cold showers. How it's about being okay with the feelings, the uncomfort. And the feelings that arises when we are challenged in other ways in our day to day lives. Knowing that our minds might be unkind to us in those moments. Trying to remember that we are worthy of love anyway, unconditionally.
I suffered from social anxiety. I gave people and their opinion alot of importance. I discovered Julien and finally was able to let go. His videos helped me alot. Thanks a lot Julien ❤ your videos really brought me out of my shell.
Find the table holding the belief of caring about what others think. Why do you care? Find the reasons and knock them down. Make a list. Whenever you encounter thoughts you recognise of caring what others think, read the list of reasons. That'll knock your table out and you can continue with your progress.
17:30 best bit in your whole channel. Hands DOWN. The way you just screamed at him with passion and anger looks like it's from a movie. I too feel sorry for that guy because you really wanted to help him but he still couldn't really let loose.
00:00 🗣 Understand the origins of shyness to overcome it effectively. 03:41 🧠 Embrace discomfort to expand your comfort zone and build confidence. 07:56 📣 Practice vocal expression to unleash your true potential. 10:49 🗣 Choose your level of expression, whether quiet or loud, but be authentic. 12:20 🔄 True change happens gradually and becomes a natural part of you. 16:44 💬 Authenticity trumps perfection; express yourself genuinely without overthinking. 20:41 🎨 Tap into your inner child's creativity and expressiveness for authenticity. 25:12 🗣 Surrendering and speaking the truth is crucial to overcome internal resistance. 26:51 🚀 Stepping into your power involves being authentic and expressing yourself genuinely. 30:58 💡 Lowering the bar for yourself allows more genuine expression and confidence. 43:53 🎉 Celebrate personal growth and victories, no matter how small, to maintain motivation. 50:08 👏 Recognize and appreciate your own journey and progress, as it inspires others and creates a positive impact.
Call me a cynical bastard but Julian should give these anxious types more room to express themselves when they're on-stage. He quite often interrupts them and touches them; these are kind of demonstrations of Julian's higher status, and the anxious person's lower status. He should try his best to put himself on the same status level as the anxious person on stage. It would help them open up much more.
It‘s one of the things you have to learn, when you want to lose your shyness. It‘s taking the room! Shy people hide in the darkest corner and are sad, that they are not seen. I‘ve been shy more than 40 years of my life and I had to learn it the hatd way to come out of that corner. It‘s not fun, when you don‘t learn it by yourself.
@@GhostWriter-wt8pbNot really considering he's not selling some kind of physical medicine and ripping people off. He is however giving exercises that you can practice wherever and whenever for the rest of your life to help with self esteem issues. Also considering you're watching this for free just shows you're pretty ignorant for saying that
Damn Julien hats off to you and to this young gentleman, I hope he finds it within himself to open up and become his true MAR! Your patience and mastery of social cues and psychological thought patterns are something to be grateful for. These seminars spark something this generation is losing due to technological advancements and modern vices, so I thank you! 😛
i love how real this was, i really relate to his resistance. it's SO hard to push yourself past the ego talking and this video really shows that in the best way. it was like a whole hour of struggling but he managed it and that really spoke to me! so proud of him :)
@@kurokigensai7 He's refering to introversion being a personality trait. Nothing unhealthy about being an introvert itself however most are more suseptible to low self esteem and social anxiety which is unhealthy and needs to be healed.
There's spiritual content and then there's this. Its just as important! If you can't be an open book you're never truly alive. Other people become your puppet master. Thanks Julien.
I am just another person to tell Julien he's doing an amazing job. He is helping so many people. I want to be like him. Not on stages, but with the people around me
This coping exercise is really good, I personally would increase the dose a little, imagine that in the audience there were people who don't like me, or even people who hurt me in the past. I think that imagining that situation would be an addition when it comes to delving deeper into our fears.
I relate to this guy on a personal level. I just imagine myself in his spot worried about what other people are thinking. But seeing this video made me want to try and be my authentic self
Massive respect for this shy guy- it was likely he never felt free enough to express himself so openly. Some cultures foster conformity above individuality- and people go along to get along- until you can say "enough, I'm NOT going to follow YOUR fking rules"! - you will remain stuck. I'm so glad this guy was able to open up the door -to his inner self- even if it was only a crack.
This was really hard to watch, because I've related too much. I've almost closed the video several times I'm used to very fast almost unconscious masking, to put out what I think I supposed to put out. And if there are a lot of strangers who I cannot read in milliseconds I simply shut down. That was very powerful and great. Thank you!
Man I felt so much for the guy, imagining myself in the same spot. I'm fine with screaming, doing all those things, but being myself, authentic, that's soooo weird for me. I can do it!
That was absolutely amazing and so powerful! This was actually super intense and deep! What an emotional rollercoaster ride! Amazing work to the both of you!
As someone who is pretty confident, can do a fair amount of public speaking, and has overcome anxiety in front of an audience I think the performative nature that Julien would produce a confusing situation for me. I agree with a lot of the content he is providing here, however I think a “militant” confidence would serve this participant better than a “laid back” confidence. In my life experiences confidence is the absense of shame, regret, doubt, or misunderstanding. The way I built confidence into all aspects of my life was to simply draw from all the places I already had confidence. I am confident that I know how to drive, I am confident that I can read the time, I am confident that I can wash my ass. The simplest things in life can translate forward to the complex simply because the experience and emotions are similar and relatable. You have to embody these moments that people are afraid of as if they are trivial and live in that moment as such because the task is trivial. That’s confidence.
I think the biggest worry of mine is to come off as evil and unfriendly or selfish. I can be very blunt maybe even a pushover unintentionally and my voice - naturally - is very monotone most of the time. That's why I'm so scared to drop the front because I think I'm a bad person. (I've struggled making friends in Highschool - not so much in elementary school tho but kids always picked offense from me) But it's so exhausting trying to be friendly all the time and it feels fake but then on the other side no one wants to be around mood-killers. I'm just very moody and tired most times but maybe I'm autistic idk.. I went to a therapist when I was a teen because of selective mutism and depression but never got diagnosed for autism. I'm so lost, and I think I'm just an evil person who doesn't really care a lot about others expect for my family. I was very emotional as a child (my mom would say I'm too sensitive) and I would cry for hours very often and I've always had this anger inside of me, hated strangers but I could never figure out why? Can anyone relate?
Hey Sophie I can definitely relate to some it, and just wanted to tell you Terrible people dont care about being terrible people. The fact that you care is a good sign, so dont be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, certainly i have, but mistakes educate you on what not to do in the future Also the biggest help i have ever met, was my psychotherapist. Psychology fucking sucks, but psychotherapist are the shit, and it will eventually help you to become less depressed and repressed, and it will make social life easier to navigate Also, dont be someone else because people might not like the depressed you, just honor yourself and try to love yourself more day by day And bless you for trying ❤
Be who you really are. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not. Kurt Cobain. I had the same issue. I was often nice and didnt say what i wanted cause i thought that nobody will likes me. It was hard to accept that i am little bit asshole but thats me althought i know who I am and I love myself.
I can relate. Which is why I know you're not evil. People who do evil are OK with doing it & tend to justify themselves in what they do. You don't seem to like this aspect about yourself, which is telling me you're not justifying it. If I had to guess I would say you're good at noticing hypocrisy in people & because the vast majority of people are hypocrites you don't really have an interest in most people which is what you mean when you say you don't care about other people outside of your family. Yet, you still have a desire to connect with people, or else you wouldn't be here watching this video. Which is another sign as to why you're not evil. Also, if you truly hated strangers. You wouldn't be asking strangers on the internet if they can relate to you. Most likely, your seemingly disdain for strangers is a coping mechanism. You reject them before they can reject you. You mentioned you were picked on... that means you've seen just how ugly people can be, and yet you haven't given up on being able to connect with others. You're way more kind than you give yourself credit. If I can see it in just the little bit of text you've written here, then have faith that others will see it & gravitate toward you when you give yourself the freedom to be yourself a bit more.
The fact you are so thoughtful and want to be a good person means you are a good person. You need to be your own best friend. Not everyone will like you in this world. I totally relate to your feelings though,
Great video... I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to do that a few years ago, but I grew out of it... Hopefully the people you are guiding on your videos can also outgrow those thoughts in their heads that keep them from speaking authentically.
…All the parts of ourselves we suppress to survive. He’s listening to the frightened little boy inside telling him that this is the only way he can be loved and survive in the world. It’s of course a lie but, it’s what kept him safe as a kid - being “good” not expressing himself, about anything. He was brave to do this.
I’m a lot like this guy. And the funny thing is, I’ve been a professional clown for just about thirty years! I get nervous when I have to go out and start clowning but once I’m out there I’m fine. But as ME on my own, very shy. I’m getting better though!
Breakdown of social communites. Takes a Village to raise a child not a stressed out single parent. The villages are gone, the communities are gone, we are alone and it should have never happened. That traumatizes children.
because we have more things easily available to keep our minds stimulated .smartphones, social media, tv, video games. Back in days, if we are bored we used go out play. Kids nowadays just glued to their phones and lost in digital world
Keep trying. Connect with the aspect of you that still cares. Say no to the, 'no' part of you: worm tongue. There's so much in you that wants to get out (of what's holding it back) - notes of Julien
God, I see myself in this boy, there's so much noise in my mind and I can't stop it, I hate this fear of everything even though I've spent my life taking risks
Been watching your videos the last 2 days and finding them really helpful, lots of new methods that have inspired me to dig deeper. Though as someone with ADHD/autism, sometimes I believe you may perceive slow processing speed as anxiety when it isn't. Which would create an anxiety towards you in response to being misread/spoken for. Giving someone a little more time to respond without interruption would resolve that I think.
I can understand where he is coming from. APPLAUSE to you! From my experience back in the day, growing up in an Asian culture, in kindergarten and school Rules: No questions, no free speech. I feared kindergarten, a teacher once locked me in a dark room, because I was talking when I was not supposed to, or I giggled. And said if you are not sensible, crows will pick your eyes out. And other incident, my brother got caned, because he drank water from the fountain, when he wasn't allowed to. Glad we were able to move. Would have been more emotional damage.
As growing up in Indian culture , I could relate with those school rules and punishments, around 7 or 8 I was a free kid worrying about nothing but later changed school and the situation got me as a new kid in school , I felt like I don't belong here and stopped being the kid once I was and started to create the shell for survival, also the family culture and the way of parenting influenced me a lot to become a lot (like whenever I try new things they won't allow or makes me feel like am doing something wrong)...but as an adult i could figure out things and breaking the shell slowly
Hey Julien maybe with these anxious types, you should sit down and coach from a more humble point of view because he’s obviously intimidated by your charisma. He kept looking to you for the answers.
Fuck, I've been this guy a few times. Literally had a guy scream at me like Julien did once... eyes bulging, red in the face, spitting as he yelled... and I froze. Mad respect, dude. 🤘
I used to be this way when I was a kid. Very timid, quiet, meek child and stuff, not always speaking loud, I had this quiet voice tone😅people always admired but found awkward and weird! Yeah 😊🔥🔥
I've been following your teaching for a while now and they were really helpful and eye opening for a long time. But I started seeking the darkness bad. Seeking the darkness without the intent to shine a light on it is disruptive to say the least. I made the second biggest mistake of my life recently, arguably the biggest. And it was truly evil. It has been my intent to become aware of the darkest parts of myself to attempt to bring them to light. I wanted to be conscious of them so that when faced with situations I could remember the falsehood. But it didn't help. After telling myself things like it's terrible and disgusting eventually the temptation was too much and I acted impulsively, likely for the sake of pleasure. Moral of the story, being aware of your own darkness while you are in a weak state is a dangerous place to be in.. you should talk more about ways to change your identity and what to change it to. I thought acknowledging the darkness was seeking the light. But it was seeking the darkness all along. Sure you can let go of the darkness but it doesnt really matter if you dont replace it with light
I kinda went through something similar. I think we need to be kind to ourselves. Like Julian says sometimes: we are like the worst parents to ourselves/our inner childs. Down right abusive. I hope you find a way to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Your past is the past. Can you let everything of that go? Can you accept what is? Is more of the type of self talk I'm currently experimenting on, inspired by Eckhart Tolle. Hope you find what works for you. Wish you all the best on your journey forward.
I was like this person but i changed now alittle bit although i am still a shy person, and usually when i am with some person i don't feel comfortable with i think alit about what should i say .. i am still on my journey to accept me totally and love me ... Cheer up ❤❤
10:55 I think Keanu Reeves is a good example of someone who seems on the quieter side, but can be loud when he wants to be. When comparing him to someone like Will Smith.
My age is 21 and I'm from India. My father used to scold me on small - small things and compare me with other childrens who are doing great in there studies because of this i suffered a lot in school. Afraid of talking to people especially girls, afraid of people what they think about me, afraid of going to crowded place. Whenever i talk to anyone i speak quietly. I can't say anything in loud. I feel like why I'm different from others and i missed a lot of things.
I imagine myself on that very stage shouting my ass off but then I remind myself of times when you’re that scared to speak through the microphone or publicly that it tightens everything in your ass and above that level. And I’m an English teacher and I have this problem when speaking in front of the whole school or at teachers’s meetings. Not so much as when I’m in the class surprisingly. I’m scared that I’ll forget what I say or say something very stupid or not suitable by mistake of if I became “me” me.
👉 THE PURPOSE PROCESS IS LIVE: www.thepurposeprocess.com/?l=xxoifg9nxd
Comment your biggest takeaway below! (I personally read through EVERY single comment)
🚨 WATCH ME NEXT
- I studied social anxiety in thousands of clients: ruclips.net/video/jCTgb-pxssE/видео.html
- If I had low self esteem, I'd do this first: ruclips.net/video/s9yrMPIJHC8/видео.html
- Stop chasing a specific person and instead do this: ruclips.net/video/DDmqrbSdzPo/видео.html
- What I did to improve my social skills: ruclips.net/video/pCZdJiGSk8g/видео.html
👉 ATTEND A LIVE EVENT: www.noanxietytour.com
👉 APPLY FOR ONLINE COACHING: application.julienhimself.com/?l=ne0o7d3ky1
👉 BECOME A CERTIFIED COACH: certification.transformationmastery.com/?l=9c7oyrmlls
When will you be back in Seattle?! I desperately need to attend one of your events!!!!!!
Julien!!! Do a show in Winnipeg, Canada at the earliest please!!!🙏
guy that was on the stage, if you are reading this, i feel you man, im rooting for you and thanks a lot for doing it
Sometimes people seem to freeze because they are waiting for a “permission” from the outside world. Growth came when J realized that I don’t need permissions.
I normally don't leave comments on youtube due to the same phobia that this guy has, fear of people judging me, embarrassed about being my authentic self, but after watching this I decided to post this comment becuase Julien has inspired me and given me courage. I can't imagine how I would be if I was on stage in front of those people, but I think sometimes it just takes a bit of courage to be ourselves.
I mean you're literally behind walls and walls of the internet.. nothing to be scared about
We all start somewhere. One step at a time. Keep it up, stranger-friend :)
May The likes on your comment inspire. 🥳
Take them as a win.
You can do great things.
Believe it!
Everyone has different fears. If you're extremely shy like this guy in the vid and you normally don't comment because of it then congratulations for taking a step in overcoming your fear. It may seem like a small or normal choice or decision but it's not when it's something that genuinely terrifies you so good work
btw im also scared of people judging me, or being embarassed, that's why im watching this video, im 25
@@Hi_how_r_u_ Hey thanks for the reply! I'm glad to hear that you are watching Julien's videos to help with your fear of being judged. I used to think that I was an introvert but I realized that I am actually just an extrovert with a lot of social anxiety.
Massive respect to the guy on stage! But also massive respect to Julien, I’m kinda tearing up right now. He believes in people so much even when they don’t believe in themselves.
Massive respect for real! I probably would've shutdown & knew later what I should've said. I hope he can get out of his shell & showcase who he truly is.
Yes, MASSIVE respect to him! Takes a lot of courage and willingness! 🔥👊
@@JulienHimselfI know it’s being anxious but sometimes when a public place gets busy like a restaurant my hands would sometimes shake lol
I can remember feeling like this man. Ive come a long way and it can be done. I can dance with and talk to anyone and speak in public. But i remember my heart beating out of my chest in school if the teacher called on me or aftaid to raise my hand even if i knew the answer and no one else did. I've definitely experienced trauma and thats probably what started it. But thats in the past now and life goes on. Gotta either sit down and accept the lose or stay up on stage fighting for yourself until you can't fight anymore.
Glad you were able to overcome this. Congrats on your progress! 🙌
Am proud of him. Self judging is what eats me up when I feel embarrassed than I sink to self hate and wishing I should not be alive among the beatiful people around me which makes me happier been alone at the corner watching people having fun
Hope you find hope, support and are able to discover and hopefully resolve some of what's keeping you down.
First of all, I’m not sure if what I’m saying is entirely right, but I wanted to share this with you: We’re all human, and the idea that we need to be perfect or always correct is something we’ve been taught over the years as part of our growth and learning.
That said, don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep your environment free of toxicity and distance yourself from people who make you feel anything less than great. It might be difficult at first, but with time, you’ll learn and grow stronger. And also you deserve the world, sweetheart. 🩵🩵🩵
I loved how the audience started engaging him so he felt comfortable opening up. I am learning so much from you. My bar is so high - I need a sledgehammer to lower it!
How about coopulation?
This was probably the greatest video about anxiety. We overthink , and we don’t feel our emotions. You cant express without emotion. Go cry.
This is also for me as well, I repress emotions/opinions , not this bad but I do . We dont know how to live with who we are shamelessly.
Also julian, you are amazing. Truly a master class. Just watching you do whatever you want and behaving how you want is the model for letting go and living. No hesitation, just whatever comes. This is why mental health is so important. It’s everything.
he went straight into freeze and shutdown mode - his nervous system is a 9/10 and at that point the mind cannot form thought. I recognize Juliens trying to elevate him to anger instead of the sadness/numbness but I feel perhaps taking a moment to close the eyes, some deep breathing and a little body movement to calm the nervous system and loosen up might have been a much better approach - just my ideas.
I agree! He basically told him to talk to a crowd of people whilst he had frozen and shut down! Wtf I feel so bad for him 😭
I wouldve honestly started crying. Feeling ashamed and judged for not being able to articulate or do "whats expected" of me.
As someone who was always the new, weird kid (many school changes/moves) i became quiet and introverted.
As i got older i learned to come across as confident and tried to showy authenticity but was constantly "validated" that people didnt like that person and would feel judged, critisised and my people pleasing nature would often be taken advantage of.
Now im trying to be ok with my authenticity, regardless yet, still have few friends or people that get me. Its so tempting to just retreat back in my shell because it feels I will never make friends no matter whether im masking or authentic. This makes socialising, workplaces etc feel overwhelming - im so used to being judged and found lacking that I cant trust others or their intentions anymore.
I can relate to this so much , thanks for articulating it so well 😅
Humans cant be trusted.lits of them say they trying to help you.but they just want a payday...like this youtuber is.embarrassing somebody infront of a crowd doesnt help.
Wow that was rough but beautiful at the same time. Massive respect to the teacher, student and the class. You all have so much love and patience. This, while not necessarily was exciting or entertaining, the process was needed to be worked through; not just for the student up in the front. Great work everyone!
Thank you! And yes, MASSIVE respect to him! 🔥💪
i feel for this guy so hard :( I still have this part of me that feels a lot like him (introverted, scared to say the wrong thing, etc) but watching him squirm up there under the horrifying pressure he was put under helped me realize just how much progress I've made in terms of honoring how my inner child feels and wants to express himself. Thank you for the work you do julien your videos help me to feel like I'm on a good track on days when I start to doubt myself!
Was thinking the same! It was painful to watch how uncomfortable and closed off he was knowing I have felt like that before and have made progress.
how is it now
Well done i'm so proud of him pullin through, this video probably got recommended on YT i'm also an introvert and so shy for 28 years now. Tnx 4 helping him, being shy can make your life a living hell like you don't belong. I managed to overcome my fear of being shy just by being angry it took me a long time but it change my life drastically. Also i call it: "THE HULK EFFECT"
Pheeew! This was hard to watch. I almost couldn't finish this one. I know that "deer in the headlights" look and what feels like the inability to think or speak. For me it came from a whole lot of violence and screaming. Looking back I can see why and when I started going into survival mode (freeze). Now days, trying to shake that response to fear has proven to be the single most difficult thing I've ever worked on. Massive respect to this guy!
The fact that he doesn’t let this dude off the hook for almost a whole hour is probably precisely something this dude needed.
This resonated with me. I really know what that feeling of being blocked is like. I'm grateful for the opportunity to see it from the outside (huge respect and thanks to all participants in the video). And it's just this past year I'm beginning to relearn that you can create good things for yourself in life, better your situations. Instead of waiting, thinking that something outside of you will give permission or provide it for you or that you can "earn" it by suffering (which have been some of my misconceptions). When you listen to yourself, your needs, and care about yourself, the arena of possibilities changes. And also getting open to realizing that you might have been wrong. That the harsh judging voice inside have led you to believe a bunch of things on how the world works. Maybe you don't have to be all these additional things. You are okay. Period. Really. Life isn't meant to be struggle free however. But when you get on your own team, on your side, it can take away a lot of the suffering. Like Julian said with the cold showers. How it's about being okay with the feelings, the uncomfort. And the feelings that arises when we are challenged in other ways in our day to day lives. Knowing that our minds might be unkind to us in those moments. Trying to remember that we are worthy of love anyway, unconditionally.
I suffered from social anxiety. I gave people and their opinion alot of importance. I discovered Julien and finally was able to let go. His videos helped me alot. Thanks a lot Julien ❤ your videos really brought me out of my shell.
Julien don’t you realize this is absolute torture for someone who’s shy!??? 😂
What you're doing here man is incredible. It's helping so many people like myself. So thank youuuuu.
Feeling judged is absolute reason why i often being here 😅
You can't feel judged if you aren't judging your self.
@@ojjooooooso how exactly does that help
Find the table holding the belief of caring about what others think. Why do you care? Find the reasons and knock them down. Make a list. Whenever you encounter thoughts you recognise of caring what others think, read the list of reasons. That'll knock your table out and you can continue with your progress.
correct your grammar ma boi.
@@ragnifier cmiiw then
17:30 best bit in your whole channel. Hands DOWN. The way you just screamed at him with passion and anger looks like it's from a movie. I too feel sorry for that guy because you really wanted to help him but he still couldn't really let loose.
Some of us need this pressure. Face your fears people🥳🥳🥳
got me over here repeating "let it go, let it go".... I feel a breakthrough transpiring... Respect to gentlemen an stage!!
I absolutely love the full process of Julien getting the guy to being as comfortable as possible. Focus on it, its crazy.
Indeed. That's insane. Especially he also makes him uncomfortable but not too much.
Dude this became so heartwarming to me. Everyone there and the guy at the front and Julien. Damn. All of you. 💯. Respect.
00:00 🗣 Understand the origins of shyness to overcome it effectively.
03:41 🧠 Embrace discomfort to expand your comfort zone and build confidence.
07:56 📣 Practice vocal expression to unleash your true potential.
10:49 🗣 Choose your level of expression, whether quiet or loud, but be authentic.
12:20 🔄 True change happens gradually and becomes a natural part of you.
16:44 💬 Authenticity trumps perfection; express yourself genuinely without overthinking.
20:41 🎨 Tap into your inner child's creativity and expressiveness for authenticity.
25:12 🗣 Surrendering and speaking the truth is crucial to overcome internal resistance.
26:51 🚀 Stepping into your power involves being authentic and expressing yourself genuinely.
30:58 💡 Lowering the bar for yourself allows more genuine expression and confidence.
43:53 🎉 Celebrate personal growth and victories, no matter how small, to maintain motivation.
50:08 👏 Recognize and appreciate your own journey and progress, as it inspires others and creates a positive impact.
🔥🔥🔥
Call me a cynical bastard but Julian should give these anxious types more room to express themselves when they're on-stage. He quite often interrupts them and touches them; these are kind of demonstrations of Julian's higher status, and the anxious person's lower status.
He should try his best to put himself on the same status level as the anxious person on stage. It would help them open up much more.
Reminds me of snake oil salesman
I agree as it can be pretty difficult for a shy person to keep up with non socially anxious person.
If Julien does that wouldn't he be acting fake 🤔
It‘s one of the things you have to learn, when you want to lose your shyness. It‘s taking the room! Shy people hide in the darkest corner and are sad, that they are not seen. I‘ve been shy more than 40 years of my life and I had to learn it the hatd way to come out of that corner. It‘s not fun, when you don‘t learn it by yourself.
@@GhostWriter-wt8pbNot really considering he's not selling some kind of physical medicine and ripping people off.
He is however giving exercises that you can practice wherever and whenever for the rest of your life to help with self esteem issues.
Also considering you're watching this for free just shows you're pretty ignorant for saying that
julien your vids changed my life im very thankful
Julien you're so special bro 😂😂 I love you
I'm glad my content resonates with you! 🙏🙏
Damn Julien hats off to you and to this young gentleman, I hope he finds it within himself to open up and become his true MAR! Your patience and mastery of social cues and psychological thought patterns are something to be grateful for. These seminars spark something this generation is losing due to technological advancements and modern vices, so I thank you! 😛
Julien keeps it real af
i love how real this was, i really relate to his resistance. it's SO hard to push yourself past the ego talking and this video really shows that in the best way. it was like a whole hour of struggling but he managed it and that really spoke to me! so proud of him :)
You are doing God's work out here bro appreciate you!
🙏🙏🙏
Those were my exact same sentiments
This more or less was me as a teen. It sucks. I really wish him the best and hope he gets more help.
well, the reason is not "being an introvert" but still true for most of the introverts
excuses
@@kurokigensai7 He's refering to introversion being a personality trait. Nothing unhealthy about being an introvert itself however most are more suseptible to low self esteem and social anxiety which is unhealthy and needs to be healed.
excuses@@amphy7591
There's spiritual content and then there's this. Its just as important! If you can't be an open book you're never truly alive. Other people become your puppet master. Thanks Julien.
I am just another person to tell Julien he's doing an amazing job. He is helping so many people. I want to be like him. Not on stages, but with the people around me
to see how shy and scared he really was on that stage, to do what he did was an amazing accomplishment.
I have been scared of rejection and what people think of me my whole life. I don’t care anymore I embrace people judging me.
This has been your best video so far
This coping exercise is really good, I personally would increase the dose a little, imagine that in the audience there were people who don't like me, or even people who hurt me in the past. I think that imagining that situation would be an addition when it comes to delving deeper into our fears.
He often does this. Gets the audience to boo you while you sing or talk about a topic..
Bro just have to define his dreams and make those come true.
I relate to this guy on a personal level. I just imagine myself in his spot worried about what other people are thinking. But seeing this video made me want to try and be my authentic self
This is something that really attack the true problem, not discussing with words and words, but doing it practicly.❤❤❤
Every other video I watch of your's,I get little insights from each. Great content. Very helpful
Massive respect for this shy guy- it was likely he never felt free enough to express himself so openly. Some cultures foster conformity above individuality- and people go along to get along- until you can say "enough, I'm NOT going to follow YOUR fking rules"! - you will remain stuck. I'm so glad this guy was able to open up the door -to his inner self- even if it was only a crack.
This was really hard to watch, because I've related too much. I've almost closed the video several times
I'm used to very fast almost unconscious masking, to put out what I think I supposed to put out. And if there are a lot of strangers who I cannot read in milliseconds I simply shut down.
That was very powerful and great. Thank you!
Man I felt so much for the guy, imagining myself in the same spot. I'm fine with screaming, doing all those things, but being myself, authentic, that's soooo weird for me. I can do it!
you can do it 💪🏾fighting the good fight with you!
Incredibly honest coaching. Julien has turned me into a big fan. This guy struggled. The way Julien wrapped this up at the end was beautiful.
That was absolutely amazing and so powerful! This was actually super intense and deep! What an emotional rollercoaster ride! Amazing work to the both of you!
As someone who is pretty confident, can do a fair amount of public speaking, and has overcome anxiety in front of an audience I think the performative nature that Julien would produce a confusing situation for me. I agree with a lot of the content he is providing here, however I think a “militant” confidence would serve this participant better than a “laid back” confidence.
In my life experiences confidence is the absense of shame, regret, doubt, or misunderstanding. The way I built confidence into all aspects of my life was to simply draw from all the places I already had confidence. I am confident that I know how to drive, I am confident that I can read the time, I am confident that I can wash my ass. The simplest things in life can translate forward to the complex simply because the experience and emotions are similar and relatable. You have to embody these moments that people are afraid of as if they are trivial and live in that moment as such because the task is trivial. That’s confidence.
This is incredible.
Watching this made me soo anxious for him.
I think the biggest worry of mine is to come off as evil and unfriendly or selfish. I can be very blunt maybe even a pushover unintentionally and my voice - naturally - is very monotone most of the time. That's why I'm so scared to drop the front because I think I'm a bad person. (I've struggled making friends in Highschool - not so much in elementary school tho but kids always picked offense from me) But it's so exhausting trying to be friendly all the time and it feels fake but then on the other side no one wants to be around mood-killers. I'm just very moody and tired most times but maybe I'm autistic idk.. I went to a therapist when I was a teen because of selective mutism and depression but never got diagnosed for autism. I'm so lost, and I think I'm just an evil person who doesn't really care a lot about others expect for my family. I was very emotional as a child (my mom would say I'm too sensitive) and I would cry for hours very often and I've always had this anger inside of me, hated strangers but I could never figure out why? Can anyone relate?
Hey Sophie
I can definitely relate to some it, and just wanted to tell you
Terrible people dont care about being terrible people. The fact that you care is a good sign, so dont be so hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, certainly i have, but mistakes educate you on what not to do in the future
Also the biggest help i have ever met, was my psychotherapist. Psychology fucking sucks, but psychotherapist are the shit, and it will eventually help you to become less depressed and repressed, and it will make social life easier to navigate
Also, dont be someone else because people might not like the depressed you, just honor yourself and try to love yourself more day by day
And bless you for trying ❤
Be who you really are. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who i am not. Kurt Cobain. I had the same issue. I was often nice and didnt say what i wanted cause i thought that nobody will likes me. It was hard to accept that i am little bit asshole but thats me althought i know who I am and I love myself.
I can relate. Which is why I know you're not evil. People who do evil are OK with doing it & tend to justify themselves in what they do. You don't seem to like this aspect about yourself, which is telling me you're not justifying it. If I had to guess I would say you're good at noticing hypocrisy in people & because the vast majority of people are hypocrites you don't really have an interest in most people which is what you mean when you say you don't care about other people outside of your family. Yet, you still have a desire to connect with people, or else you wouldn't be here watching this video. Which is another sign as to why you're not evil. Also, if you truly hated strangers. You wouldn't be asking strangers on the internet if they can relate to you. Most likely, your seemingly disdain for strangers is a coping mechanism. You reject them before they can reject you. You mentioned you were picked on... that means you've seen just how ugly people can be, and yet you haven't given up on being able to connect with others. You're way more kind than you give yourself credit. If I can see it in just the little bit of text you've written here, then have faith that others will see it & gravitate toward you when you give yourself the freedom to be yourself a bit more.
The fact you are so thoughtful and want to be a good person means you are a good person. You need to be your own best friend. Not everyone will like you in this world. I totally relate to your feelings though,
Julien bro, you need to make some crazy ass merch. Let’s gooooooooooooooo
Haven't watched it yet, but thank you Julien for the 50 minute video!! 😊
You're welcome! Be sure to report back with your top takeaway from the video! 👌
You did it once you did it again. That is the perfect mantra to keep in your mind
Great video... I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to do that a few years ago, but I grew out of it... Hopefully the people you are guiding on your videos can also outgrow those thoughts in their heads that keep them from speaking authentically.
…All the parts of ourselves we suppress to survive. He’s listening to the frightened little boy inside telling him that this is the only way he can be loved and survive in the world. It’s of course a lie but, it’s what kept him safe as a kid - being “good” not expressing himself, about anything. He was brave to do this.
I’m a lot like this guy. And the funny thing is, I’ve been a professional clown for just about thirty years! I get nervous when I have to go out and start clowning but once I’m out there I’m fine. But as ME on my own, very shy. I’m getting better though!
It feels like that I was me when I was in school
I gotta wonder, when did everybody get so quiet and nervous? I mean there’s no way there were this many people so nervous back in the day
Social media adds to it. Probably just cause trends and tv and technology have been introduced and influenced all of us
Breakdown of social communites. Takes a Village to raise a child not a stressed out single parent. The villages are gone, the communities are gone, we are alone and it should have never happened. That traumatizes children.
because we have more things easily available to keep our minds stimulated .smartphones, social media, tv, video games. Back in days, if we are bored we used go out play. Kids nowadays just glued to their phones and lost in digital world
Julien really knows what he is doing. Blows my mind.
This is an AMAZING video, it's like he's talking to me
I learnt something great,
"Thinking will not save you, feeling is the way"❤❤
Actually it felt like the audience who finally pierced him through
props to this guy for sticking through it that was NOT easy !!!!
Amazing value in this video
Thank you!
Thank you! Exactly what i needed, especially today. The high bar was an eye-opener
Keep trying. Connect with the aspect of you that still cares. Say no to the, 'no' part of you: worm tongue.
There's so much in you that wants to get out (of what's holding it back)
- notes of Julien
Thank you! Great advice, great part of the video
God, I see myself in this boy, there's so much noise in my mind and I can't stop it, I hate this fear of everything even though I've spent my life taking risks
fear of being judged is the biggest fear of my life .
Been watching your videos the last 2 days and finding them really helpful, lots of new methods that have inspired me to dig deeper. Though as someone with ADHD/autism, sometimes I believe you may perceive slow processing speed as anxiety when it isn't.
Which would create an anxiety towards you in response to being misread/spoken for.
Giving someone a little more time to respond without interruption would resolve that I think.
Thank you. This was great
I can understand where he is coming from. APPLAUSE to you! From my experience back in the day, growing up in an Asian culture, in kindergarten and school Rules: No questions, no free speech. I feared kindergarten, a teacher once locked me in a dark room, because I was talking when I was not supposed to, or I giggled. And said if you are not sensible, crows will pick your eyes out. And other incident, my brother got caned, because he drank water from the fountain, when he wasn't allowed to. Glad we were able to move. Would have been more emotional damage.
As growing up in Indian culture , I could relate with those school rules and punishments, around 7 or 8 I was a free kid worrying about nothing but later changed school and the situation got me as a new kid in school , I felt like I don't belong here and stopped being the kid once I was and started to create the shell for survival, also the family culture and the way of parenting influenced me a lot to become a lot (like whenever I try new things they won't allow or makes me feel like am doing something wrong)...but as an adult i could figure out things and breaking the shell slowly
Hey Julien maybe with these anxious types, you should sit down and coach from a more humble point of view because he’s obviously intimidated by your charisma. He kept looking to you for the answers.
Fuck, I've been this guy a few times. Literally had a guy scream at me like Julien did once... eyes bulging, red in the face, spitting as he yelled... and I froze.
Mad respect, dude. 🤘
That was really good to watch and i really can compare to him!
Julien coming to NJ/NY anytime soon these videos are amazing I feel like I been under a god dam rock I didn’t know you existed all this time!
Isn't it weird how many of us experience the same thing but try to act like we aren't 😂
I used to be this way when I was a kid. Very timid, quiet, meek child and stuff, not always speaking loud, I had this quiet voice tone😅people always admired but found awkward and weird! Yeah 😊🔥🔥
I’m terrified just watching this
Work on it.
I've been following your teaching for a while now and they were really helpful and eye opening for a long time. But I started seeking the darkness bad. Seeking the darkness without the intent to shine a light on it is disruptive to say the least. I made the second biggest mistake of my life recently, arguably the biggest. And it was truly evil. It has been my intent to become aware of the darkest parts of myself to attempt to bring them to light. I wanted to be conscious of them so that when faced with situations I could remember the falsehood. But it didn't help. After telling myself things like it's terrible and disgusting eventually the temptation was too much and I acted impulsively, likely for the sake of pleasure. Moral of the story, being aware of your own darkness while you are in a weak state is a dangerous place to be in.. you should talk more about ways to change your identity and what to change it to. I thought acknowledging the darkness was seeking the light. But it was seeking the darkness all along. Sure you can let go of the darkness but it doesnt really matter if you dont replace it with light
I kinda went through something similar. I think we need to be kind to ourselves. Like Julian says sometimes: we are like the worst parents to ourselves/our inner childs. Down right abusive.
I hope you find a way to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Your past is the past. Can you let everything of that go? Can you accept what is? Is more of the type of self talk I'm currently experimenting on, inspired by Eckhart Tolle. Hope you find what works for you. Wish you all the best on your journey forward.
This resonated with me deeply. Thank you for doing what you do. 🙏
It's just how he is.. if he is not interested It's ok
There's no courage without vulnerability
I was like this person but i changed now alittle bit although i am still a shy person, and usually when i am with some person i don't feel comfortable with i think alit about what should i say .. i am still on my journey to accept me totally and love me ... Cheer up ❤❤
17:41 i'd pay someone to talk to me like this when i'm nervous in public..
Dude- this is Amazing. You are great at what you do
Way to go man! My pattern has shown that my mind goes completely blank. A deer caught in headlights.
greatest julien video i ever seen! keep up the good work
10:55 I think Keanu Reeves is a good example of someone who seems on the quieter side, but can be loud when he wants to be. When comparing him to someone like Will Smith.
My age is 21 and I'm from India. My father used to scold me on small - small things and compare me with other childrens who are doing great in there studies because of this i suffered a lot in school. Afraid of talking to people especially girls, afraid of people what they think about me, afraid of going to crowded place. Whenever i talk to anyone i speak quietly. I can't say anything in loud. I feel like why I'm different from others and i missed a lot of things.
You're still young brother. Just work on it
Time for some deep inner work and LETTING GO... Let me know if you'd like my help: application.julienhimself.com 🙏
I imagine myself on that very stage shouting my ass off but then I remind myself of times when you’re that scared to speak through the microphone or publicly that it tightens everything in your ass and above that level. And I’m an English teacher and I have this problem when speaking in front of the whole school or at teachers’s meetings. Not so much as when I’m in the class surprisingly. I’m scared that I’ll forget what I say or say something very stupid or not suitable by mistake of if I became “me” me.
Go Julian Go!
Julien, I would a huge amount for these videos. Thank you.
Social anxiety is more wicked than devil himself...
It can rob u of ur destiny if u allows it....
When will you be back in Seattle?! I'm so disappointed that I missed you! I need this SOOOO much!