Enjoyed this episode? Listen to the FULL PODCAST episode at www.divestudios.io/shows/get-real Watch the FULL video episodes on our 2nd RUclips channel “DIVE Studios Podcasts”: ruclips.net/user/divepods Also, stay in touch with us on Instagram at instagram.com/thedivestudios, Twitter at twitter.com/thedivestudios, and TikTok at www.tiktok.com/@divestudios Head to MINDSET by DIVE Studios at www.getmindset.com/ If you are fluent in another language, please contribute subtitle translations here: amara.org/en/videos/LK3J6413kVZq/info/what-do-our-parents-think-of-our-past-relationships-get-real-ep-48-highlight/?team=
Level headed dad was right. Mom wants control of son and emotionally blackmailed him not to fly. That put him in a messed up position; scare my mom or disappoint my girlfriend. Dude chose to stay with his mom. Son was also super inconsiderate to not think of how she had to plan her life and finances around flights, taking off work, etc. Dad was totally right and he's living with people pulling power struggles in his wife and his son.
On one hand, I feel a bit lonely when hearing all these dating stories, but on the other, I know that I will meet someone when the time is right and when I am ready.
Mothers, your children are not your property. I feel like some parents have an ulterior motive to keep their kids to themselves. Kids don't belong to parents. They belong to themselves. You're not losing your child to their partner. It doesn't have to be a competition. Don't put your kids in the middle. That's manipulation, not love. I always say "People who love you, won't ask." That means people who love you want your happiness and want you to be loved. They won't ask for horrible sacrifices because they want you to have it all. If they give you an ultimatum between something that really matters to you and them, it means they want you to give up that thing/person to prove to them that they matter more. That's messed up because if you love someone, you would consider the pain it would cause them to be in that position instead of just trying to win.
yes! it is not a competition for their love bc it's not the same kind of love, like the love a son gives to his gf is romantic love, whereas the love he gives his mom is family love
I agree with the dad, you can't place all the responsibility on the other person and not put effort on the relationship. People get tired and bored of being used... But I wonder if mom is at fault also... I was laughing about Matthew's mom 😂
same joan, i’m 26 and i haven’t introduced anyone i’ve dated to my parents. i want the person they are meeting to be someone imma be with for a long time.
Hey, the dad was telling it like he saw it: “his son was lazy, and NOT doing his part in the relationship”! I’m curious to know what that girlfriend saw in that dude to begin with!? 🤔🤷🏼♂️
I love seeing BM here! I've been into kpop for a lot of years by now and I've always felt a certain level of "insecurities" of celebrities when it comes to speak their mind in whatever is the topic. Mostly because of how Korean society/industry was built. Not only BM but Ashley and Peniel too, they are all so great and every episode they bring to us (not only incredible content) a sense that idols are after all, humans just like everyone else! I'm a super fan!! Congrats guys love from BRASIL 🇧🇷
I guess it’s pretty common for moms to always have an opinion on their kid’s lovelife. My mom is like that. No matter who I dated she always have something to say. My dad on the other hand doesn’t care who I dated so long as they treat me right and so long as I’m happy. That’s exactly why I keep my lovelife low key. I don’t introduce my date to my parents unless the relationship is getting serious.😉
The mom was either super overprotective or possessive. Sounds like they need therapy 👀 it's weird that he said he'd never visit the girl, but when he said he'd never travel by plane? Yeah that sounded like he internalized his mom's fear of flying. Damn, can't imagine how much that girl spent just to travel tho
I agree with Joan a 100% because I do the same, keep it low until I'm sure and even then my mom has never known me a bf or gf. She knows I date people but never meet them
I agree with the dad and the experience they had there, knowing there are instances of that sorta one-sided effort relationships. You can't just take and not give, even relationships between friends and family don't work like that. I had one and only one true experience of being in a relationship but I couldn't offer what they wanted so I broke it off before they got too hurt. Didn't bother telling my parents because I didn't know how far it would ever go and as I thought it didn't last longer than half of that year.
Interesting.. I wouldn't date someone who I won't/can't introduce to my parents. It doesn't have to be like "my forever" but if I can't pass that standard alone -- what's the point of that relations/relationship
This comment intrigued me because it makes me wonder what culture you're from? Traditionally, Korean parents 1) prefer to be in denial about kids' sex life and 2) feel the point of dating is marrying so they might jump to the conclusion you intend to marry the partner you bring home. That's my theory on why it was customary in Korean culture to only introduce your partner to your parents if you were really serious. Back in the day, parent's approval made or broke a relationship. Filial piety used to be no joke. I think they're much more relaxed these days in Korean culture but old school parents would disown you if you stayed with a partner they didn't like. I think most kids would just break off their relationship in that case, no matter how long it lasted or how much they loved the person. They couldn't disobey their parents. It's better to hide and avoid drama. Was what you're saying about you would only have partners that were good enough to take home?
@@justme.11 It's probably 5.5% to do with "my culture" (the "good" parts). It's more my personality/"standards" I set for myself/character/growth.. It's not a whole lot to do w/ my parents' "strict approval" or "culture". My parents are pretty chill, there's good balance of friendship. I just prefer it if my "circle" (friends, family, close/intimate relationships) have an almost equal understanding of how I "roll"... ü
I'm with Dad in this situation. You don't hear a lot of parents tell their kids that their bf/gf may be the right one for them. If the son gets upset because she decided to dump him and move on he can't get upset. Even though by the sounds of it she was probably seeing her new bf while still together with his son. But, I'm only assuming she liked that other guy for a long time and she was waiting to see if the son would change. And she realized he wouldn't change she dumped him and moved on.
I think some parents are good at sensing stuff about people or having a better judgement. But some parents can be very possessive and think no one is good enough. So depends of the situation
Until her grandkids come along 🤣 that’s when the in laws mellow out I know my cousins all went through that “never good enough” for the mother in laws but the moment their grandkids came? Relationship got healthier
I totally agree with the dad. The relationship goes both ways. I’ve had experiences where I would always have to go drive to the guys house and they wouldn’t put any effort. It became such a hassle.
For me in this time a little freck me out that your parents don’t know the persons you’re dating, more if you’re young, you don’t know what type of people could be.
The dad is 100% right and for her to find a new guy was expected. Why?? Because you are not emotionally invested and trying, a girl will find someone to give her but she will not act on the cheating (most anyway) like guys do. Guys typically get invested in someone else because they aren’t getting physically what they need.
6:06 Same reaction of my Korean boyfriend's mom when we were first introduced and I was sweating bullets. Afterwards made me feel better in getting to know them.
It's interesting, a lot of Latin household parents like to meet the significant other of their kids to know them and know they're trustworthy. Not necessarily just for marriage purposes. But it's completely understandable to hold off until things are more serious like Joan said. Better keeping it on the low low.
I personally feel like if ur eith a person or ur dating I wouldn't introduce them to my parents until I know it's a serious healthy relationship because especially in my culture Congolese culture, aint nobody tryna waste time and get emotionally invested to only see that person leave
I agree with the Dad from the letter, the son seemed to just not care enough and the mom was possibly enabling his behavior, so it’s an unfortunate situation overall.
Cultural differences are so interesting 🧐 In my country (Mexico), it’s very normal for a couple to know you S/O parents; not because they’re making the relationship more formal or something like that, it’s just that as a society, we’re just that , friendly (?) I guess. Maybe there’s a better words to describe it, but I can’t think of any ATM. I’ve known only a few people who don’t like introducing their partners to their parents, and it’s always the same reason: They end up having 2-3 relationships on one year, so they don’t wanna bother their parents meeting so many different boyfriends or girlfriends. 👀
LOL i feel like it's always one or the other. My exes' moms were great but their son's weren't, my current partner's mom is meh but he's great. Can't have your cake and eat it too 😂
My family HATED my exes. More so my mom and sibling. Dad stayed rather quiet, but I could tell he disapproved. My mom has a good red flag radar and sure enough, she was able to read each guy like a book within 5 minutes of first meeting them. I hope one day I'm able to find a fella who can get along with my fam. Seems like no one is ever good enough and/or I am not finding the right guys to date for the long term. as for the reddit story, I appreciate the Dad calling out his son's lack of effort in the relationship. NTA. Relationships are a 2-way effort. I've been in a few relationships/dates where I took most of the initiative and it sucks.
LOL I think moms in general are protective and a liiiittle bit possessive like that; my mom has never liked any of my brother’s exes, nor mine 🤣 To be fair on her, she has never been rude or toxic in any way, she just goes like “Mmmmm, there’s something about him/her... I don’t like him/her for you”. And guess what? She’s always been right about her judgements 😅
I have a good relationship with my ex-husband's family and we still consider each other family especially because of my sons. Actually, I think I have a better relationship with his family than he does LOL Anyone else?
About the first topic, what kind of an asshole doesn't want to travel? Unless it's a money issue (sounds like it's not), why wouldn't you want to, especially with a good reason (visiting gf) ?
I agree with dad. He cant expect her to put all this effort, time, and money in to see him, while he puts no effort in at all. Also sounds like mom may be a little controlling as well.
I follow some tw accounts that reference that reddit thing-y (I don't know anything about reddit as you can tell) and there are a lot of unbelievable stories (made up or not).
I agree the son should have tried harder but I think when you are unhappy in a relationship, don't cheat.. leave. I just don't see a scenario where its ok to cheat for a prolonged period and not just leave the relationship.
African and Asian culture has a lot of similarities when it comes to the our family dynamic. Most Africans also won't bring our partners around our parents if we don't see marriage in the future. Don't waste my time by introducing me to someone you'll break up with in two weeks.
Enjoyed this episode? Listen to the FULL PODCAST episode at www.divestudios.io/shows/get-real
Watch the FULL video episodes on our 2nd RUclips channel “DIVE Studios Podcasts”: ruclips.net/user/divepods
Also, stay in touch with us on Instagram at instagram.com/thedivestudios, Twitter at twitter.com/thedivestudios, and TikTok at www.tiktok.com/@divestudios
Head to MINDSET by DIVE Studios at www.getmindset.com/
If you are fluent in another language, please contribute subtitle translations here: amara.org/en/videos/LK3J6413kVZq/info/what-do-our-parents-think-of-our-past-relationships-get-real-ep-48-highlight/?team=
"my mom hated all of my girlfriends"
the girlfriend: I KNEW IT
I agree with the DAD in the letter.. ANY Relationship is a two-way road.. effort should be from both sides..
I agree too
BM went from
“Yes sir”
To
“Your daughter calls me daddy too”
THE MOST UNDERRATED COMMENT-
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTT I LOVE THIS LMFAO
This man srsly
This man srsly
This man srsly
'Big Matthew' but his mom treats him like a cute smol boi.
It's because he is
To BM’s mom her sons will always be small until she needs them to get something from a high shelve then they’re big lol 😂
Level headed dad was right.
Mom wants control of son and emotionally blackmailed him not to fly.
That put him in a messed up position; scare my mom or disappoint my girlfriend. Dude chose to stay with his mom.
Son was also super inconsiderate to not think of how she had to plan her life and finances around flights, taking off work, etc.
Dad was totally right and he's living with people pulling power struggles in his wife and his son.
me watching this having had no past relationships: *in jae’s words* InTeReStInGggggg
Omg! same
Same 🤧
On one hand, I feel a bit lonely when hearing all these dating stories, but on the other, I know that I will meet someone when the time is right and when I am ready.
Oh I so wanted to hear Peniel talking about it too. Don't know why I feel like he'd have an interesting story or something
where is he?
@@danieladasilva1286 probably preparing for Kingdom
Yep... i wanna know his story
idk why but I feel like he's the type who didn't even realize he's meeting the parents
Mothers, your children are not your property.
I feel like some parents have an ulterior motive to keep their kids to themselves. Kids don't belong to parents. They belong to themselves.
You're not losing your child to their partner. It doesn't have to be a competition. Don't put your kids in the middle.
That's manipulation, not love.
I always say "People who love you, won't ask." That means people who love you want your happiness and want you to be loved. They won't ask for horrible sacrifices because they want you to have it all.
If they give you an ultimatum between something that really matters to you and them, it means they want you to give up that thing/person to prove to them that they matter more.
That's messed up because if you love someone, you would consider the pain it would cause them to be in that position instead of just trying to win.
you are speaking facts girl, completely agree!
yes! it is not a competition for their love bc it's not the same kind of love, like the love a son gives to his gf is romantic love, whereas the love he gives his mom is family love
This is what every parent should live by tbh
Lol Mama got high standards for BM's partner
7:14 DED! Respect, as his eyes are full of pure fear.
BM was back at that girl’s house at 9pm, with a cake for that dad 😂 😂 😂
I agree with the dad, you can't place all the responsibility on the other person and not put effort on the relationship. People get tired and bored of being used...
But I wonder if mom is at fault also...
I was laughing about Matthew's mom 😂
Matt: "my Mom's like F**k that" lol
I love your Mom
Nah first dad was on point. Cuz a relationship is a mutual thing. HE SAID WHAT HE SAID
One of My favourite bm things "Mr father"
same joan, i’m 26 and i haven’t introduced anyone i’ve dated to my parents. i want the person they are meeting to be someone imma be with for a long time.
I agree.
All matthew’s life story are sooo funny 😂😂💀
Nah, I prefer that my parents know whoever I'm dating. It's safer in a lot of ways. Also, having their POV can be helpful.
Hey, the dad was telling it like he saw it: “his son was lazy, and NOT doing his part in the relationship”! I’m curious to know what that girlfriend saw in that dude to begin with!? 🤔🤷🏼♂️
Bringing her back by 9:50. Just the commitment my parents want
I love seeing BM here! I've been into kpop for a lot of years by now and I've always felt a certain level of "insecurities" of celebrities when it comes to speak their mind in whatever is the topic. Mostly because of how Korean society/industry was built. Not only BM but Ashley and Peniel too, they are all so great and every episode they bring to us (not only incredible content) a sense that idols are after all, humans just like everyone else! I'm a super fan!! Congrats guys love from BRASIL 🇧🇷
I thought my family might be the only one that DOESN'T take the family member's side in relationship issues.
That dad is great!
I guess it’s pretty common for moms to always have an opinion on their kid’s lovelife. My mom is like that. No matter who I dated she always have something to say. My dad on the other hand doesn’t care who I dated so long as they treat me right and so long as I’m happy. That’s exactly why I keep my lovelife low key. I don’t introduce my date to my parents unless the relationship is getting serious.😉
BM is naturally funny 🤣
I feel like everyone needs a friend like BM in life😂
we all do
Man take choices, man take responsibility
The mom was either super overprotective or possessive. Sounds like they need therapy 👀 it's weird that he said he'd never visit the girl, but when he said he'd never travel by plane? Yeah that sounded like he internalized his mom's fear of flying. Damn, can't imagine how much that girl spent just to travel tho
When BM said I meet the dad and the dad told him bring her at 10pm it was a deja Vu for me because he told my friend the same 🤣
I agree with Joan a 100% because I do the same, keep it low until I'm sure and even then my mom has never known me a bf or gf. She knows I date people but never meet them
I agree with the dad and the experience they had there, knowing there are instances of that sorta one-sided effort relationships. You can't just take and not give, even relationships between friends and family don't work like that.
I had one and only one true experience of being in a relationship but I couldn't offer what they wanted so I broke it off before they got too hurt. Didn't bother telling my parents because I didn't know how far it would ever go and as I thought it didn't last longer than half of that year.
Interesting.. I wouldn't date someone who I won't/can't introduce to my parents. It doesn't have to be like "my forever" but if I can't pass that standard alone -- what's the point of that relations/relationship
This comment intrigued me because it makes me wonder what culture you're from?
Traditionally, Korean parents 1) prefer to be in denial about kids' sex life and 2) feel the point of dating is marrying so they might jump to the conclusion you intend to marry the partner you bring home.
That's my theory on why it was customary in Korean culture to only introduce your partner to your parents if you were really serious.
Back in the day, parent's approval made or broke a relationship. Filial piety used to be no joke.
I think they're much more relaxed these days in Korean culture but old school parents would disown you if you stayed with a partner they didn't like.
I think most kids would just break off their relationship in that case, no matter how long it lasted or how much they loved the person. They couldn't disobey their parents.
It's better to hide and avoid drama.
Was what you're saying about you would only have partners that were good enough to take home?
@@justme.11 It's probably 5.5% to do with "my culture" (the "good" parts). It's more my personality/"standards" I set for myself/character/growth..
It's not a whole lot to do w/ my parents' "strict approval" or "culture". My parents are pretty chill, there's good balance of friendship.
I just prefer it if my "circle" (friends, family, close/intimate relationships) have an almost equal understanding of how I "roll"... ü
@@TReacthrone Oooooh. That's awesome and makes a lot of sense.
Sounds like things are good all around.
Matthew - I love you. The way you think and express yourself warms my heart and makes a big impression.
Everyone to make Peniel haloy, lets stream Btob performance today!!!!
I'm with Dad in this situation. You don't hear a lot of parents tell their kids that their bf/gf may be the right one for them. If the son gets upset because she decided to dump him and move on he can't get upset. Even though by the sounds of it she was probably seeing her new bf while still together with his son. But, I'm only assuming she liked that other guy for a long time and she was waiting to see if the son would change. And she realized he wouldn't change she dumped him and moved on.
My dad wants me to marry someone "who can bring home food" 😂 and my mom wants someone who can take care of me. I want someone who is family oriented.
I love bm. Like literally next level . I... Cant even speak. His personality are you kidding me. He is amazing amazing guy and idol
i really love Joan's voice. its so beautiful
Man make choice man take responsibility... istg Matt lmao 😆
Oooh really early this time, I really love this podcast
Diane & another guy laughing in the background when Matthew said his mom hated all of his & his bro's exes 😂 #mood
I think some parents are good at sensing stuff about people or having a better judgement. But some parents can be very possessive and think no one is good enough. So depends of the situation
That means if you date BM his mom will NEVER like you for life lol.
Until her grandkids come along 🤣 that’s when the in laws mellow out
I know my cousins all went through that “never good enough” for the mother in laws but the moment their grandkids came? Relationship got healthier
I’m vibing with Joan! Keep your relationship in a low low low key and dont take it too seriously 😂
the more i watch matthew, bigger is my crush for him save me lord
Matthew is so cute and respectful
Kinda early, love the podcast ❤️
I totally agree with the dad. The relationship goes both ways. I’ve had experiences where I would always have to go drive to the guys house and they wouldn’t put any effort. It became such a hassle.
For me in this time a little freck me out that your parents don’t know the persons you’re dating, more if you’re young, you don’t know what type of people could be.
lol i almost choked while drinking juice when i heard the "woah" lol
where i can find a BM in my life? he is such a mood! dang! 😂
yes, I'd especially agree with jamie and joan bm they've talking about it gives me so much back in the days..
The dad is 100% right and for her to find a new guy was expected. Why?? Because you are not emotionally invested and trying, a girl will find someone to give her but she will not act on the cheating (most anyway) like guys do. Guys typically get invested in someone else because they aren’t getting physically what they need.
It's the mustache for me lol
6:06 Same reaction of my Korean boyfriend's mom when we were first introduced and I was sweating bullets. Afterwards made me feel better in getting to know them.
I always listen to get real over spotify at work. Still cant get over how small matthew’s face is. Damn wish my face is that small. I miss peniel
It's interesting, a lot of Latin household parents like to meet the significant other of their kids to know them and know they're trustworthy. Not necessarily just for marriage purposes. But it's completely understandable to hold off until things are more serious like Joan said. Better keeping it on the low low.
I personally feel like if ur eith a person or ur dating I wouldn't introduce them to my parents until I know it's a serious healthy relationship because especially in my culture Congolese culture, aint nobody tryna waste time and get emotionally invested to only see that person leave
I agree with the Dad from the letter, the son seemed to just not care enough and the mom was possibly enabling his behavior, so it’s an unfortunate situation overall.
Cultural differences are so interesting 🧐 In my country (Mexico), it’s very normal for a couple to know you S/O parents; not because they’re making the relationship more formal or something like that, it’s just that as a society, we’re just that , friendly (?) I guess. Maybe there’s a better words to describe it, but I can’t think of any ATM.
I’ve known only a few people who don’t like introducing their partners to their parents, and it’s always the same reason: They end up having 2-3 relationships on one year, so they don’t wanna bother their parents meeting so many different boyfriends or girlfriends. 👀
Yessss i know peniel will have more interesting stories on thisssss hahahaa
I miss Peniel 🥲 he be killin it on kingdom doe
Ummm....didn't BM tell us about his girl who cheated on him with a dude on insta??? I....don't trust his judgment lol
I agree with Joan! i have never introduced nor let my past bf come over to my place only when i think i will marry him.
That reaction around 1:34 as me too.
I just clicked and already loved
This podcast channel is awesome!
i love this podcast
I love their podcast!!! The best
LOL i feel like it's always one or the other. My exes' moms were great but their son's weren't, my current partner's mom is meh but he's great. Can't have your cake and eat it too 😂
literally sameeee for me
Is it just me or anyone else think that Ashley looks like Johnny from Nct🙄
hope Peniel could share something like this in the next episode 🤭😄🥰
My family HATED my exes. More so my mom and sibling. Dad stayed rather quiet, but I could tell he disapproved. My mom has a good red flag radar and sure enough, she was able to read each guy like a book within 5 minutes of first meeting them. I hope one day I'm able to find a fella who can get along with my fam. Seems like no one is ever good enough and/or I am not finding the right guys to date for the long term.
as for the reddit story, I appreciate the Dad calling out his son's lack of effort in the relationship. NTA. Relationships are a 2-way effort. I've been in a few relationships/dates where I took most of the initiative and it sucks.
LOL I think moms in general are protective and a liiiittle bit possessive like that; my mom has never liked any of my brother’s exes, nor mine 🤣 To be fair on her, she has never been rude or toxic in any way, she just goes like “Mmmmm, there’s something about him/her... I don’t like him/her for you”.
And guess what? She’s always been right about her judgements 😅
BM's gf be like: 👁💧👄💧👁
😂😂😂😂
he's so soft spoken wtf
I have a good relationship with my ex-husband's family and we still consider each other family especially because of my sons. Actually, I think I have a better relationship with his family than he does LOL Anyone else?
My mom's kinda like that.
About the first topic, what kind of an asshole doesn't want to travel? Unless it's a money issue (sounds like it's not), why wouldn't you want to, especially with a good reason (visiting gf) ?
I hate that I know all of these passages they're reading HAHAHA. I obviously binge read AITA too much
9:50, u got it lol 😂😂😂😂
That mustache! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mr. Father😂
She will love me BM she will 😂😂 lol
Yes joan ❤️❤️
Matthew is so sweet lol
I agree with dad. He cant expect her to put all this effort, time, and money in to see him, while he puts no effort in at all. Also sounds like mom may be a little controlling as well.
My question is:
How many girls kim Matthew had dated until now :) ?
Where's the early squad at 🙋♀️👐
I follow some tw accounts that reference that reddit thing-y (I don't know anything about reddit as you can tell) and there are a lot of unbelievable stories (made up or not).
Take it with a grain of salt - that's my default attitude with all real life Reddit stories
how do you judge a story after only hearing one side though
I agree the son should have tried harder but I think when you are unhappy in a relationship, don't cheat.. leave. I just don't see a scenario where its ok to cheat for a prolonged period and not just leave the relationship.
BM’sm mom 🙌🙌😂😂😂
BM being my bias has now put me in pressure :v Now even in my fantasies mayb I'd think that my Imaginary Mother in-law who would hate me! 😂
BM is so handsome 🥰😍
bruh... i`m just worried with Joan's posture.............................. girl, please
omg I sit like that too 😭😭 I really need to fix my posture lol
That's true Because I can't Date OnTale I leaveMy Parents Home
Is Diane no longer working with dive? I miss hearing her commentary in the back :(
African and Asian culture has a lot of similarities when it comes to the our family dynamic. Most Africans also won't bring our partners around our parents if we don't see marriage in the future. Don't waste my time by introducing me to someone you'll break up with in two weeks.
I've take responsibility to everything u did XD
Respect. OK. 🤣
Mama's boys Daddy's girls
Please check out BTOB's Blue Moon Performance (full ver.) on Kingdom, they're working extremely hard please support them.
Early!! Heyy guys