Trans Men and Femininity
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- I talk about how I'm a trans boy who wears makeup and dresses "feminine"
at 5:29 I talk about how I temporarily accept/like myself when other people like me for who I am.
I'm Not Trans Enough: • I'm Not Trans Enough
instagram: @boycamryn
i'm a trans man in love with a feminine trans man, and we are completely valid! my boyfriend likes makeup, wearing skirts, and i love him and it doesn't make it any less of a man. feminine trans man are super great and don't own anyone an explication!
So both of you are lesbians
@@little_angel_thingy8 no, they're women attracted to each other, how they dress or present themselves is irrelevant.
Great
That makes me so happy for you! I often struggle with fashion as a trans man. I only came out recently and can not bind due to a pectoral lump so am almost never gendered correctly, even by my friends and family. Some days I wear more baggy clothes, feel more disphoric, and other days I feel more confident so I'll wear a crop top or a bright floral print. If Harry Styles can do it, I can do it, right?
@@dekev7503incorrect
i’m not trans but i really felt the part where you were talking about the double standards. i’m a cis girl and hardly anyone will bat an eye at me for dressing masculine as i usually do. but whenever trans girls wear masculine things they suddenly aren’t “trying to pass” which is weird since it contradicts the ideology that “clothes don’t have gender.” and on top of that it used to hurt my feelings when my mother would always ask me if i was “trying to be a boy” whenever i wore masculine clothes. idk why it hurt my feelings, it shouldn’t. but this video honestly made me feel a bit better about being masculine while still being a girl (:
Shit man, felt that. Like, I love makeup, I love traditionally ‘feminine’ things, but I’m still a guy. And like you said, it’s on a spiritual level and it’s impossibly hard to explain, but you just *know.*
As always, I am super in love with you, also yeah I’d watch a grwm vid! Makeup content would be cool.
i love you thank you!!!
It is something you just know its so hard to explain especially when it isn't the mainstream way of being a trans guy
@@jenniferrivera1220 I feel that. I'm Agender but my expression is masculine/androgynous. I had people tell me I look like a boy, I'm trying to be a boy, I think I'm a guy etc and I'm like "No, I'm not ANY gender" and they're like "How?" or "What's in pants?"
As a femme trans man, this really made me feel better about myself. I have many many trans friends, and they all pass amazingly. But then there's me. I always think that people might think that I'm a dumb girl who's pretending to be trans but isn't doing any of the "work" because I love long hair and such. This reminds me that Gender expression does not equal gender, and it helps me hold off while I'm waiting for surgery.
ive got short hair and dress masculine, but im gonna grow my hair out because im a guitarrist. if i feel dysphoric and people start misgendering me again (im always called by the right pronouns) im gonna cut it off again
I resonate with the relationship issues. Being genderfluid myself, partners often try to push me into the "women" or "man" role when I'm obviously not going to be the same all the time.
I can relate I have had crushes on cis men and it weighed in on me alot. Knowing they didn't truly see me as I am.Even though I have been on hrt for two years. I still worry about people not seeing me as a man. Im glad you were so open about this! I would love to see a grwm and also yes I am in love with you lmao
thank you so much!!! and i love you too!!!! 💖💖💖
It resonated with me because I'm a feminine trans guy too, I like makeup, "feminine clothes" I'm Pre- everything bc I have transphobic parents who barely respects my pronouns. I've always been alternative, even before I figured out I was trans, I see cis goth men putting on makeup and still being treated like mens but when I do it suddenly I'm not trans enough ? I hate it. I know I wanna transition, get on T and have Top surgery and I'm comforting myself in this idea that after that I will look as my true self, a feminine trans guy but I still have that fear of being hate crimed on the streets... It makes me question whether I want to transition or not even though I know it's a neccesity for me... (sorry if I made mistakes btw, English is my 2nd language)
This is something i have been struggling with so much lately. I'm also primarily attracted to cishet men and i don't really want to be overtly masculine. there's always a worry in the back of my mind that i'm faking because i often like to appear more feminine. I want to start hrt so bad but the idea of suddenly becoming undesirable to the men i like terrifies me. hearing from other guys who are also grappling with the same shit makes me feel less scared and alone tho :) also, would 100% watch a grwm please make
i’m so glad i could help you feel less alone 💖💖 thank you so much for telling me this
I felt this. Bc i struggle myself bc i was born afab and was told my life revolved around pleading cishet men. When i started questioning my gender and being bisexual i was feeling a lot of shame and fear.
I want to transition soon too but I'm scared since I'll be getting rid of the traits that my gf is attracted to :/
@@reesemalo i have a trans friend who's partner tells them that they shouldn't get top surgery or HRT because they like their body, if your partner would rather have you be uncomfortable and mentally distressed so they can enjoy your body, they don't deserve to enjoy it at all, im not saying your partner is doing theses things to you but its important to be mindful of these things. Know your worth and stay strong bruh!
@@funkyfresh2053 That is a very selfish statement to make. If your partner was attracted to you as a particular gender, changing that gender and expecting him to still be attracted to you in the same way is as good as demanding that he changes his sexual orientation to accommodate your gender identity.
I vibe with this so hard. Fuck toxic masculinity. Also i am 100% in love with you and your style
Thank you so much for making this video. So many other trans guys I’ve interacted with tell me I’m too feminine and thus “pretending for attention.” Not a thing that goes away with age, turns out. I love feminine things. Most mens clothes are boring and nothing’s hotter than a man in eyeliner and heels. But feminine clothing and too much makeup also trigger my dysphoria pretty badly, so until I start T, I’m in a bit of a lose-lose harder situation...
I often get anxious when somebody likes me because I feel like they are just thinking about my body in the traditional way and won't actually accept my identity...
How awesome would it be if you blew up so that many people could get educated on these topics?
this!! and hopefully one day..... maybe 🤔 thank you though ❤️
Ooh this! Yeah these days I feel kinda avoidant of sex and relationships because of this
As a trans guy who feels dysphoria on a day to day basis, but also likes some feminine things, it is so refreshing to see someone like you be open about this sort of thing. I feel accepted for the first time in my life. Thank you for helping me be more comfortable in my identity. I love you! Take care of yourself.
It's kinda funny... Femboys exist... and so do tomboys.... but they only count if you're cisgendered. If you're transgendered they try to dictate how you should be. It's so stupid. I'm Agender and I go through so much shit over it.
I'm Female
I'm Agender
I do wear nail polish and lipstick/gloss
I hate my chest
Some days I hate my voice, some days I don't
I'm fine with my vagina
I like sports
I like dolls
I like blue
I ain't obsessed with pink
I like men's clothes
I like unisex clothes
I don't like makeup and earrings (unless they're clip-on)
I 'manspread'
I wear hats
I wear men's shoes
I swear
I cry
I'm emotional
Most feminine thing about me: nail polish, emotional, jewelery
Most masculine thing about me: almost everything
How people treat me:
"You're a tomboy."
"You need to be more ladylike."
"How do you have sex?"
"What's in pants?"
"Just gets your ears pierced."
"Why get rid of/hate boobs?"
I'm so tired of humans in general. Just be you, boy. You're fine the way you are
You're so right. I've been struggling a lot with feeling like i am faking my transness just because i enjoy looking feminine. I know i am a boy but i get scared of how people will be 'confused' if i don't pass.
I am nonbinary/trans-masculine but I normally present myself in (what people presume to be) a more feminine way. I like wearing feminine clothing and I do my makeup every now and then. I also have no desire to change my birth name or do hrt. A lot of the time I find myself feeling guilty for how I present myself to the world vs. how I view my identity internally. For nb people it's easy to feel pressured to appear completely genderless or just vaguely masculine. But I'm starting to accept the fact that I can wear dresses and like "girly" things and that doesn't make me any less trans. Just wanted to say that seeing videos like yours has really helped me! Thx Cam, love ya
i forgot to mention the pressure on nonbinary people to be perfectly androgynous. but i completely feel that, i used to id as agender and my fear of being too feminine started there. thank you for telling me this ily
"For nb people it's easy to feel pressured to appear completely genderless or just vaguely masculine."
THIS!!!
I love this channel, thank you for existing. I am a transgender man, I love to be extra-feminine because I feel extremely secure about myself. A piece of cloth is not going to change my perception of who I am, nor my gender.
I struggled with my whole life with femininity as I was born a girl; now I slay it and it's the best thing ever.
Trans feminine, and I definitely resonate
I'm a cis man, and I'll never understand how you feel. But I love you, and I wish you were in my life dude. You have a beautiful mind, you always look cool as fuck and you make me feel warm. I'll support you in anyway that I can 🖤
this meant so much to me my dude I am ftm and have a huge struggle every day with the fact that some of the things I choose to wear or how I present myself may be traditionally feminine and it really hurts to know I may not be seen as male when I’m wearing makeup ((for one example!) because , on all levels except physical I am A Man😐 and it really does mean so fucking much for someone I look up to as much as you to say this I feel beyond validated thank u for everything honestly you inspire me so FUCKIN hard i hope this isn’t a creepy comment btw you’ve just really helped me mentally and emotionally with your words since I discovered your amazing existence I hope you know
omg thank you so much for telling me this :( i love you sm and i would die for you
Dating men is very hard for me because when am I with a guy who's taller and more masculine than me I get dysphoric. Men often treat me as the submissive or the "woman" in the relationship because I am small and feminine and that makes so fucking dysphoric, it's like I need to be more masculine than them in order to not feel like shit and that sucks because I love men, I just wish they would see me as a guy and not like... whatever they see me as
My last boyfriend referred to me with male pronouns but he saw me as the woman in the relationship and got upset when I didn't want to be that
I'm in a complicated relationship with a woman now and it's so much better than my experiences with men. This might have nothing to do with her being a woman I don't know but it's just that she doesn't expect me to be anything. She calls herself a submissive woman but when I'm with her I don't feel pressure to be the man or the woman in the relationship, I'm just a person for her
I still want to date men, and I'll probably still do that in the future but it's hARD
i can't even let myself consider transitioning the thought of it scares me so bad. there's so much about transitioning that's scary but i think you've articulated the part that scares me the most which is: if i transition, i'm potentially creating distance between myself and people i would otherwise be able to have a relationship with. i think this is especially hard for people who have felt different or "othered" quite often throughout their lives (which honestly is probably all trans people and most people in general, to varying degrees) because it feels like "really? i'm choosing to make myself even /more/ different and permanently so?" and it's really hard to reconcile that i might make an already difficult part of life even harder on myself in many ways for the sake of my own happiness. it's hard to justify that. as human beings, we need connections, we need relationships with others, so to do something that threatens those connections feels really wrong, it sometimes to me makes it feel like maybe by choosing to transition, i'm choosing to be forever alone. i'd really like to say that "obviously isn't" true, but i don't think it's all that obvious. i think it takes a lot of work to find the people you connect with and even more work when choosing to be who you are narrows the people who are open to connecting with you.
all this to say- this resonated with me a lot. i don't know if any of what i said makes sense but those were the thoughts that came from watching this video and i'm working through some of this with my counselor but your videos are almost as helpful as that has been (not a slam on my counsel, they're fantastic). i believe i am officially caught up on your videos so big thank you for making me smile and think and feel more okay with myself as you always do! love you and can't wait to watch your future videos!
i feel this so much. you articulate your words so well! it feels like either way, if i medically transition, i’m sacrificing something. even though logically if i were to transition /i/ would be happy with myself, or would i??? everything is so confusing but i’m glad i could help you as always and i love you ❤️
As a trans man who wears a lot of feminine clothing and absolutely loves fem clothing and hobbies, I feel this so much.
Oh my god yeah I relate a lot. I’m nonbinary and I’m mainly into masculine people, but I dumped by one guy bc he realized he was gay, and now I’m dating a lesbian and I feel like I’m gonna get dumped for my gender twice in opposite ways lmfao 😔 having a body is such a trip
I really appreciate this video, dysmorphia sometimes beats me even being bigender, never change, I love you king. 💕
i love you too!!!
Thank you for talking about having zero desire to dress and express in the boring stifled uncreative way men are currently expected to conform to. So would love to see more of your style. It's beyond refreshing! 💜
definitely feel this. i am nonbinary, but leaning towards more masculine pronouns/concepts of viewing myself. i see myself as a boy in a dress, but because i have a longterm partner who is a straight cis man, who enjoys my body the way it is, despite being very respectful of my identity and understanding it, i struggle with the idea of getting top surgery. i’m even struggling with getting a binder because im afraid that ill enjoy it too much, and itll convince me to get top surgery. but my boyfriend is also super content with me, and i am afraid of becoming someone he wont want anymore, even though hes always shown me otherwise. idk. i knew where i was going with this but got a lil overwhelmed thinking about it. anyway. i use they/them pronouns simply because its easier for others to understand rather than trying to explain how i feel like a boy but i dont want any major surgeries or changes with my body because its already well liked by my partner, and my body fits better in girl fashion(which is much better than gross khaki shorts and a polo shirt by ralph lauren) now. but i also still want my tits cut off. in the back of my mind, i still at least want my tits cut off. idk, i get you.
man, i felt this. i'm transmasc but i love dressing hyperfem and pink, i don't have any masculine trait that really "compensates" in order for me to have any hopes that i'll be taken seriously. i've been thinking about it lately the most and it really hurts becausd i don't want to sacrifice my self expression so that i can be respected and treated like the man i know i am (genderqueer man to be specific, but yeah, a man)
edit: forgot to add, but seriously thank you for this, i feel less alone now.
YESSSS I resonate with you so HARD. I fluctuate between enjoying full dad outfits and then outfits like you have on in this video. And enjoying feminine things still really makes people doubt me, or maybe I just think that, but this is everything I want. I want to be able to express myself however and still be respected.
I'm really glad to have found this video, I'm trans. I'm assigned female at birth, but I've been on the fence and using they pronouns for a long while and it felt closer to me than cis but it still felt like the wrong size, I am only just starting to realize I am a trans man, that is my identity but I want to be able to express a feminine side as a man rather than just being a woman who feels really uncomfortable in my shell, I haven't seen a lot of trans guys who openly said it's ok to have a fem side, like forget gender roles
Nothing wrong with a young trans man looking feminine. A lotta guys like that. It's intriguing.
This made me happy to see! I’m so proud of you for being brave to post this! Don’t let anyone make you feel less than man! I’m a masculine bi trans woman! And I’m blessed to have feminine features don’t think I’ll take hrt ever maybe that’ll change in the future!
This definitely resonated with me, mainly the first part. I'm transmasculine and have felt such an awful pressure to dress as blandly masculine as possible, but instead of the khaki cargo shorts it's the basketball shorts. I've stopped having self expression because I gave into this for years. And now I'm just trying to figure it all out again. I'm just terrified of people around me seeing me as a girl, so the basketball shorts are more of an effective tool to prevent that rather than me feeling good in my clothes. So seeing you rock your long hair and makeup is inspiring. I don't think that's the right word exactly, but you very much look like a guy and it's comforting to know that I can also look like a guy while having "feminine" expression. Is that weird to say? I don't mean it in the way people are like "oh you look very cis" way because that can be weird, I just mean your face reads to me like a guy.
I would like to know more about how you spiritually feel like a boy though. I know you said here that you didn't want to get into that, and of course if you wouldn't want to that's totally fine. Or if you already have that's cool too. I'm a first time viewer so I wouldn't know lol. I just like hearing other trans people's perspectives on how they know their gender because it's something I've really struggled with as of the past year or so. I don't know if I've ever really felt an innate sense of being a boy or if I've just desperately wanted to not be seen as a girl. And gender is one of those things where it's very hard to figure out a solid answer. Your video also resonated with me in this aspect, in the sense that my internal sense of gender doesn't have to match my (currently very masculine) gender presentation and I don't have to explain that to anyone.
I hope you're doing alright now, and that your financial situation has gotten better or will get better soon :-) And I hope you've been closer to contacting a therapist. I hope that doesn't sound rude lol I just mean that in the sense of having a therapist has helped me through similar things (especially in the sense of relationships), so I hope you can get that help too.
I really feel this. I came out as a transboy at age 14, but almost nobody took me seriously because I still enjoyed "feminine" things like makeup and did not want to dress in traditional "masculine" clothes I'm heavily into things like visual kei, glam rock and the goth subculture all of these scenes involve men wearing makeup and dressing up but because they are CIS they get seen as men still but when a transgender does it they suddenly are "just a girl" I went back in the closet when I was 16 because I got depressed and stressed out over constant misgendering and just figured my life would be simpler if I lived as the sex I was born with but I'm feeling regret now because I feel like I truly would be happier if I could freely come out as a man and get top surgery, but almost everyone who knows me knows me as a "feminine girly girl" so I feel they will be freaked out if I come out, and then people will call me a fakeboi or a transtrender because thats what all the feminine transmen get called now. >_
4:12 the heck? This is the same to me as well!!
I always had a hard time with relationships with men because I always feel like they treat me so much like a girl. Well, that time I didn't know I was trans as well so I went along with it, and relationships never last long really and that's probably part of the reason.
The thought of "I think I will accept myself more if I had a male body" is always in my mind for years. But the thought that I'd only have to wear "male clothes" to be considered man saddened me cause I like dressing up with "female clothes".
Thank you for putting your thoughts out in the net, I was able to learn and accept myself a lil more.
Edit: Bruh, we are the same even in the college part, damn 🙃
No matter how we look, people will always have their own impressions of us. You're a wonderful trans boy.
Thank YOU!!!! as always for your kind words, you are so appreciated
OK YOO please do a get ready with me I think that'd be hella fun to watch!! Also wanna say this really resonated with me a lot... like I'm still in denial about being trans, and a lot of times I worry that wanting to dress fem is gonna invalidate me in the eyes of the people i want to accept me (friends, family). I remember when i first got rejected by this guy i liked, i had a revelation that men will only like me if i present fem (this isnt true ofc, there r bi and gay men, and also at the time i was really masc presenting). So i went through this whole phase of dressing as hyper fem as i possibly could and then which later on after i broke up with my bf at the time i realized thats not really my thing at all... that for the most part i was dressing fem for others... I still like dressing fem just not to the extent i did for that year and a half.
feeling this hard, gender expression is so confusing but i’m glad i could resonate with you
I as a bisexual nb trans guy feel the same way. I hate my dysphoria but i also feel so less trans due to not having a binder and passing all the time and the fear of cishet men
Tbh society is the reason why I stopped wearing makeup and expressing feminine bc everyone knew me as girl and now that I’m out as a non-binary guy ppl try to invalidate my identity bc of how I express myself and I’m very sensitive to stuff like that , and how I identify is also on a spiritual level but I love express myself as a feminine way so I’m trying to love myself and not care about society and passing bc ik who I am . But for a while I felt like u and still do and thx for sharing this about how u identify and ur expression and how u felt . Ooh u should try a cosplay idea as content on RUclips
Can I just thank you for this, I don't know why but I wanna be feminine as hell but I don't feel like I'm a real man if I do it, my mind registers as male and even if I wear girly things I still know I'm a boy but i feel like I'm invaild 4 it because I'm a guy, but I'm trans so I don't feel like I can be :(
So its nice 2 see people that are feminine and trans man that conquered that fear because it makes me a little more happier
i know this video is several years old at this point but i just want you to know that this video (and your older video that this is responding to) really deeply resonates with me. i'm nonbinary trans man and i never feel "trans enough" because i enjoy traditionally feminine things and enjoy presenting feminine. i hope you're doing well
Omg yes I have the same problem. I’m a feminine trans man pre hormones and pre surgery and I when I met my significant other he just thought I was a cis woman. He’s straight but he knows I’m trans and said he will love me even after I transition. I’m scared he won’t be attracted to me anymore and I feel like I lied to him for not being where I want to be in my transition when I met him. He even said he wishes we met after I have transitioned because it would make things easier. We’ll see what happens. I love him so much but transition isn’t something I’m ever gonna put off for the sake of someone else. Seeing your video makes me feel so much less alone.
This was legit one of the realest videos I've found yet on this subject. It looks like you haven't done any videos in the last couple years but I'm dying for an update here. tldr I've been trying to understand my own shit through shared experiences like yours; I recently realized I'm transfemme but my life experience has just been so different than most of the trans stories I find. Yours, though, there's a lot that really seems to parallel with mine. I didn't know anything about trans-ness until this year, I never had what I would consider to be the standard fare dysphoria, but looking back it all just adds up to like I hated being a man and all the expectation that came with it and the mere thought of just somehow flipping a switch to become a passable woman makes me cry happy tears like the bitch that I am. I really just am sruggling with this "not trans enough" that adds so much self-doubt despite knowing how I feel about it. It's the fear of everyone around me that hold me back from being able to just bite the bullet on it. Even though it's the only thing in my life that I've found that made me not want to bite a real bullet. I'm fuckin scared and confused. I hope you're still out there and I hope things have gotten better for you. I'd be thrilled to hear an update from you
i was feeling bad about myself for having an all girl friend group (plus me) and this made me feel a lot better
I have always felt so weird trying to word this but I've been following you on instagram since.... probably about 5 or more years ago. (and i think we mightve been mutuals on my old account) I was literally trapped in a heterosexual relationship that wouldn't allow me to be open about being trans and after me leaving that relationship, finally coming out as a NB trans man, I have to tell you how much you and your content has always comforted me and made me feel like... idk like I wasnt alone. Do you ever feel like you see someone online and feel like they understand you better than most people youve met in your life, and that you would connect so strongly with them if you ever had the chance? It feels super dumb and cringey to write this but I feel like i've been wanting to reach out to you for years but i've been scared of making a fool of myself. I think we even have eachother added on snap- but me dumb smooth brain cant message cool guy...... anyhow. if you take anything from this message just know that I'm in a very similar situation, atleast with my own perception of myself and your content has always helped and comforted me. When I see you I just always feel good things.
omg.....this almost deadass made me cry. thank you so much for telling me this??? this means so much...i...am so happy i could comfort you. pls reach out to me, if you feel comfortable doing so. this isnt dumb or cringey at all.
@@BoyCamryn thank you for the reassurance! ♥ I'll definitely reach out on snap now that I know you are okay with that! I just never want to overstep anyone's boundaries.
I didn’t realize how much I needed to see this video. I’m a feminine trans man and have struggled so much with not feeling valid. Thank you.
It’s weird that I’ve just found this video now after three years, but I’m glad I did. Everything you said resonated with me as a fellow trans man who likes feminine things. Actually I like a mix of both masculine and feminine things, but because of being trans and wanting to pass, I’ve been dealing with a lot of toxic masculinity and hating on anything remotely feminine. I also understand and relate to that whole thing about knowing you’re a man on a spiritual level. I know that if I were born biologically male, I wouldn’t be afraid to “break gender roles” and wear dresses or put on make-up. Things would be so much easier and less confusing if I was able to take trans out of my identity, but I can’t. Anytime I imagine myself wearing a dress or being feminine, it is not as a woman, but as a man, and that’s the frustrating but hard truth.
I feel this. I'm genderfluid so there's already a ton of pressure against me as not "really knowing " my gender. On top of that, on boy days I like femme looks which directly contrasts the Dysphoria. But girl days means I don't want hormones or top surgery so it's just a really unpleasant cycle of not being enough of a boy or maybe I'm not even trans since I'm a cis girl today. Thanks for making this video, cuz seeing both u and the comments feels better
You are so beautiful. As a person, and as a man. I really love the way you think. The way you tend to your very own core, even though sometimes it seems you are the only one to be the way that you are. You stay true and loyal to your own self, regardless of what people believe.
this completely resonated with me, I dropped out of college (which I also completely felt pressured to go to) and am realizing I don't want a career I just want to be trans and make things lol. I've been wearing skirts lately and my cis friends act kind of weird about it? ugh it's fucking exhausting like just tell me that I'm slaying!!! I'd love to have the confidence that you have. im watching all of your videos now thanks
Popping in two years later as a feminine trans guy looking for people like me out here on the internet. It gave me a lot of hope to see this. I don't pass at all; I get misgendered constantly, can't do hrt for medical reasons and it may be years before I can afford top surgery or get a name change...but I know who I am, just like you know who you are. I hope you're doing okay these days.
I'm a bisexual cis girl that don't wear enough femenine or masculine for everyone but the problem is the same, it's not just for trans people. Thanks for talk about this.😢🖤
thank you!!
Hi hello i love your videos and also you ♡ Everything you post seams to lead me to a deeper understanding of myself and my own gender identity. I find it really comforting to know that you and people like you exist ♡
this was so nice to hear, thank you so much for telling me this
Duuuuuude I hate when I feel like I like my body just because other people do, like for a while I was in denial of being trans after coming out because I just thought it was because I just wanted to be masculine because I honestly just really wanted to date a straight guy who honestly convinced me that I wanted to be trans because of trauma but n o p e not true at all he broke up with me and I FINALLY realized I was still trans and I just really didn’t want to be discriminated for being trans, didn’t want to believe I had dysphoria, etc.
Heyy, I relate to you so much. I'm turning 21, and just started gender questioning a few months back. I've had chest dysphoria most of my life, but I didn't know it was a thing or what trans was, never had the words to what I was feeling so I kinda settled into "being a girl" because I didn't have any information and didn't even know I had the possibility to transition and still don't know if i ever can, plus, internal transphobia that I wasn't like most trans guys I knew.
I'm pansexual and I also am majorly attracted to cis straight men/masculine folks, and this has been one of the biggest reasons I fear getting top surgery. I feel like people I'm attracted to will only like me in my current body. And I know that that should never be the reason I keep my boobs, for someone else. But I cant quite sweep off this feeling that no one will ever love me or want me if I transition, especially the people I'm most attracted to. And this feeling well, sucks.
OK so I just discovered your channel, I love you, and I certainly hope you make it big! Will share your awesome "how to dress androgynously when you're broke" video to hopefully get you more subs. I super relate to this. I'm not a trans guy but I'm non-binary afab and do not plan on going on hormones/getting surgeries and present in a way that's usually read as "cis" even though I don't feel like I'm particularly fem... but since I don,t have short hair or try to look masc I often feel invalid.. I like makeup and I like my hair at every possible length but keeping them short with haircuts that I like/find suit me well is just too expensive. I'm also chronically ill and have very little energy to put in appearance in general, like I live in my pj's lol. Anyway, just wanted to say you're valid, you're a boy no matter where you're at in your transition or never even end up transitionning, love your style and wish you well
thank you so much i appreciate you sm!!! ❤️❤️
I recently came out as a femme trans man. Ik at my core I’m a transman I just like dressing feminine, wearing makeup, etc. I get some hate for it especially bc for me I do like and want some “masculine” features like short hair, some facial and body hair, and a deep voice and I want top and bottom surgery
A lot of the hate I get is bc I want those “masculine” things but while I have them and getting them I like wearing makeup, dresses, skirts, crop tops, etc
Your video made me feel valid thank you
ugh i love u. i literally needed this today
i struggle with my gender and feel as if sometimes i’m too feminine to be non-binary. but i have to recognize i don’t owe masculinity or femininity to anyone. sometimes wish we were all born as equals so the difference wouldn’t be so weird to deal with. you seem to b better and you deserve to be. you are a very handsome man and i love your hair:)
thank you so much!! you dont owe anything to anyone 💖
This is so validating for me. I'm in the exact same position.
I resonate so much with this, I'm ftm and I've been doing the best that I can to look as cis as possible being pre-t and it's honestly so exhausting and limiting too, I feel like I can't do make up or express my love for more femenine things bc I'm not gonna be considered valid or respected, while cis men do that and are praised, the double standard makes me rlly mad and even though It's hard for me I'm slowly accepting my more femenine side, I do have a lot of dysphoria so hopefully when I start T it's not gonna be as bad and I'm gonna feel more comfortable expressing myself. I'm trying to remember that people don't have to understand my identity to respect it, I don't owe masculinity to anyone, and I can make my own version of masculinity if I want to. srry for my english btw
everything you said in the video resonates with me this is how I actually feel!
LOVE YOU! Idea -> draw a cartoon version of yourself in a ideal environment? I don't know just throwing it out there.
love you sm queen
I don't have a lot of other trans people around me in real life and I think that makes these sorts of feelings worse tbh, but watching your videos helps
I'm trying to get out of my overdoing-boring-masculine-clothes-to-feel-masc-enough phase so I'm surfing youtube finding channels like yours to get ideas of how to dress more interesting without feeling like I'm "breaking the rules" of being a trans guy(Which ik is dumb, brain is dumb).
I’ve always been ok with myself in feminine things because when I see me putting on makeup and a dress I see it as dressing up like a little boy putting on my moms clothes and makeup. I feel the same way as you, especially with men. I’m bi but when straight men come and say they love my body it makes me think ha maybe I’m making this all up and my gender dysphoria is me making it up in my head
I feel the same way. I like girl things dressing up but I don’t feel like a female. Also I have changed myself and my pronouns just for men. I feel uncomfortable with the body I have but I’m scared to take the next step and I keep stepping backwards. Your video helps me think straight about my gender. Thanks
I feel this as a nonbinary person. SO hard. Everyone looks at me and they see a woman and I hate that I can't do the things I love like painting my nails or wearing makeup because people will automatically think I'm a woman or I'm not valid. Don't get me wrong, I want to get on T and have a flat chest but right now I can't do that. So I just accept people calling me a woman sometimes.. even if it sucks. I know I should speak up about it though.
I understand. I identify as trans man n i always wanted to look like those boys who have masculine body but long soft hair and wear lipstick if that makes sense? (Maybe like Diavolo from JoJo) and im always attracted to those kind of men too (feminine men) but weirdly not masculine woman, just, feminine men or transwoman. Idk, i always thought im weird and try to change my ways but the more i try to get it away it would only be bigger.
please come back ive been binging u especially last night since i had reallllly bad dysphoria,,, ur makeup video made me feel so much better
im coming back very soon !! 💗
@@BoyCamryn thank u for giving me serotonin
This super resonated with me. I'm not trans but I have a problem with my brain always trying to define me as a certain kind of person but I just don't seem to fit into any of the prescribed labels one can buy off the shelf (even the more 'experimental' shelf). Then my brain gets sad because it failed its categorisation mission. You explain yourself so well, and the more you talk the more light sheds on the dusty bit of my brain that wants to write my own story and just accept me for who I am. Thanks for doing this.
thank you so much for telling me this ❤️ i appreciate and love you
@@BoyCamryn
Thank you so much for posting this video. This really helped me accept myself and I really feel you. I’ve known for a long time that my inner self isn’t feeling feminine at all and I can’t really describe it. I want to be perceived as male because I feel like a boy but I always had the problem that I couldn’t really resonate to most trans people. You often hear stuff like “oh I just didn’t like to wear girls clothes. I always hang out with boys and I didn’t like the girly stuff” But honestly? I don’t get the idea of clothes or certain behaviours “having” a gender. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would I have to wear certain clothes to be a “real trans guy?” I love make up and I love to express myself through clothes. Always thought this would make me a fraud or someone who says they’re trans “just for attention” but I actually feel this way so why bother what other people think?
Also I can resonate with the fact that your dysphoria gets less when someone likes your body. I think that’s one of the main reasons why I it took me so long to figure out my gender.
I understood everything you said. I tried dressing masculine and it helped me find out who I was, but in the end, "feminine" things had my heart. I came out to my parents many times and every time they tell me I'm too feminine to be a man. The best way I could describe it was I want to look like a man who wears feminine clothes. I think it's more complicated than that, but every time I try to explain it that's what I say. I also hate the double standards because why should anyone have to dress the way society tells them? I thought I was nonbinary for a long time because I knew I wasn't a woman, but I thought there was no way I was masculine enough to be a man. When I came out of my shell and accepted myself as a man in my core I was able to dress feminine let my chest relax from all the binding. It feels like heaven when people call me by my preferred pronouns and call me by the correct terms(brother, boyfriend, etc.), but I always feel like people still don't see me that way. It may be paranoia but seeing as my teachers stopped calling me by my pronouns the day I wore a skirt I don't think it was that far off. I still have really bad dysphoria. It makes it hard to look in the mirror at the end of the day, and even harder in relationships. I will start to like someone and then feel the need to look and act feminine like they want me to be, but it always leads to really bad breakdowns. I still want top surgery and things, but most of all just to be respected, and watching this made me feel so much better about my situation. I'm glad there are more men like me. I'm sorry if this comment was all over the place. Also, I love your makeup, and that hairstyle really suits you.
thank you for being you, for making this video, for everything really. been struggling a lot with literally the same things. love and power to you for putting it out there into the universe, it means a lot
Hey there! Love your matter of fact way of presenting yourself, I really resonated with that and some of the points you were making. I am a non-binary trans masc person, and I have come to notice that my dysphoria would also go away with someone being into me, predominantly when I would be in a relationship with a cishet man. But then, just like you, the dysphoria train would come back around and be like “well this person is attracted to women and I’m for sure not that so what are we doing here?” They would also ask me questions like “why don’t you dress more feminine?” placing me in that female category in their heads, so there’s that.
I also recently had been getting to know a woman who has strictly identified as a lesbian her whole life. Now, I understand the definition as lesbian to be a non-man loving a non-man; however, being a trans masc person pre-t/surgeries, having someone who has only been attracted to women their whole life be attracted to me actually made me feel even more dysphoric about my presentation and body, because again of perhaps the subconscious categorization.
Not to anyone’a fault, just some things are best sorted alone and with a therapist. On that note, if you take a look at the site “Pride Counseling” there is an online therapy site that is specific to having therapists equipped to handle these sorts of issues. I realize this was a year ago, but if you are still looking for a therapist, that may be an option.
Hope this finds anyone who reads this well, and wishing you the best! Cheers 💜💜💜
I relate to this so hard. I love dressing girly, I love my longer hair. Most of the time I don’t bind due to sensory issues. I don’t like my body at the moment, and I also have a deep attraction to cishet men. I’m in love with a cishet man right now. It’s painful. I just wanna get on T and get surgery as soon as possible. I just want love. I just want to finally feel comfortable with myself. I don’t wanna be like this.
Thank you Boy Camryn please continue to youtube you are awesome the way you are!! I think many people can relate to you it feels good that people may not feel alone after hearing you.I am talking from a cis female heterosexual perspective who wants to understand.I really appreciate your courage . Much Love
thank you!!! sending you love ❤️❤️
I feel the same way. Ik im a trans boy and I want the male physical attributes but I also love being feminine and doing makeup and wearing feminine clothes. I still present masc but I still enjoy being feminine as well
I feel exactly this same way, as a trans man.
This is my favorite video to ever exist
Your videos weren't appearing in my recommended for a while, so had to look up the channel again. Came to this video because I've been feeling uncomfortable and like I look too feminine, and dysphoric since I shaved the ends of my eyebrows off. It helps a lot actually, so thank you.
thank you and i’m glad i could help ❤️
I feel like I understand you so well and every single word you said I could relate to and just this whole video is literally me and its sort of helping me better understand myself in a way.
Best of luck with everything going on in your life
Hey! I feel almost the same way. I'm still trying to figure things out, but listening to another trans man going through It helped a lot.
Subscribed!
Im a trans guy who wears skirts and my mom doesnt believe that im trans because of me not minding to wear skirts. I also wear very masculine clothes as well tho. I need advice because i just feel like im not valid and that i cant wear what i want if i want to be able to convince my mom im trans.
your mother is just thinking in terms of gender stereotypes/what men are “supposed to” wear instead of just seeing clothes as fabric you put on your body. men in non-western cultures wear skirts all the time. it’s really just a matter of getting her to not gender clothing. any cis man could wear a skirt and he would still be a cis man, so you can wear a skirt and still be a trans man
@@BoyCamryn tbh she knows men can wear feminine clothes like skirts and dresses but she doesnt think trans men can because she thinks they all try to be very masculine and wear very masculine clothes. She'll come around eventually tho i hope 😊💜❤️
I may love pastel colours and cute things, but i know i am not a girl
I super resonate with what you've said. I always have subconscious thoughts of what I don't hear people say but what I think they're thinking/saying about me. It sucks because this makes me doubt everything I've ever felt or experienced. Dunno if you've had the same experience?? Also I'd watch a "Get ready with me" vid!! Also maybe you could do some halloween makeup or costumes?? That'd be cool, if you want to. ❤
i feel that, i need to spiritually grow some balls of steel and not be afraid to tell ppl how i identify still but i’m still very conscious that i don’t look “masc” or whatever but yknow what....fuck em
I literally in love with you!
Loving the lipstick contrast. Never thought to do that.
I love your videos and you look cool, your style and cheekbones are everything! I would like to know more about your everyday life )
Thank you for this video its very validating to see other feminjne trans man as a trans guy myself :') (i hate my cargo shorts phase)
I can relate sometimes when I am doing traditional feminine things like makeup or wearing dresses while it makes me feel good there's that little niggle at the back of my head that say I am not being masculine enough like honestly if you are a trans mask person however you express yourself it doesn't make you any less trans honestly it can make it even more obvious that you are right about your gender identity as you are not just doing it because of gender norms. I think the only downside especially being pre everything is that often people will misgender you a lot because of the way you express yourself.
Honestly I’m beyond hyper feminine, it just sucks when I say I’m a boy people automatically either laugh or just say “nahhh”
I have a trans man friend who knows someone who also identifies as a trans man. This friend of mine usually talks about how much he hated that person because he was supposedly "feminine". He told me that that person talks alot Abt makeup and stuff, dresses, and wears a bra rather than a binder which made him kinda irritated that that person was identifying as a guy even though they're acting "otherwise". He also told me that that person would've been way better off identifying as a non-binary. I was a bit baffled and hesitant about bringing up my own perspective to my friend because I kinda understand why he feels this way, especially now that being a part of the lgbtq is becoming a "trend" and he has bee confused Abt his sexuality for the majority of his life but that made me question myself, are there trans men who likes feminity? I guess everything is possible afterall. Thanks to this video, I gained more knowledge about this certain topic and I COMPLETELY agree with almost-- if not all of the statements you have made. It's completely alright to like feminine stuff even if you are a trans man, and you're right! When a cis man acts feminine society encourages and makes that person feel kinda accepted in some way, but when a trans man decides to like feminine stuff, some people are sketchy and disagrees with it. It's sad to think about but hopefully they'll see videos similar to this explaining how it truly is for some trans men who are just into feminity. Thank you very much for clearing things up
Get ready with Me video? I'm in. Keep posting.
I also relate on liking straight cis men, I'm actually currently dating one and the relationship is the biggest reason I'm closeted. our relationship makes me happy, but at the same time its draining having to pretend I'm just a girl for him when I truly feel like a feminine man... x_x
OFC YES , you can still be a boy and wear meakup and wear dresses ,you are who you are
Someone finally that I can relate to. :(
I feel this entirely. I felt like I had to exaggerate my masculinity to a point that didn't feel like me while I was early in transition, just to deal with the social dysphoria. Now that I pass and have a mustache and shit I can dress femme and everyone assumes I'm gay or transfeminine, which is weirdly validating 😂 Maybe you feel the same, but the "femme" fashion and makeup I like to wear is less about being femme to me and more about being a dark monstrous freak that makes normies wonder why they spend their whole lives following the rules if the rules are just pretend. I also relate to your trans origin story not lining up with the standard. I don't know if I was born trans, but I am now and I'm just not interested in proving that to cis people anymore.
Also, you're hot and you have a good sense of style so you'll find people that are attracted to you. I will not lie to you though, the dating pool for a transitioned trans man is smaller than for people that pass as cis women and you have to deal with chasers. Just remember there's a lot of bi guys out there!
you perform masculinity so clearly
you are so obviously a boy is what im saying
Thx you for your existence ❤