You matter Quinn even to this stranger who you didn’t matter to before seeing your comment but reading that has put you in my thoughts. This is not an empty comment, you matter.
"The world shines a lot less without you in it." Muta, I don't suffer from depression, but that is a line I can definitely can get behind when it comes to give a person in need some support. Jeez, man, you're a great guy, I love listening to your videos whenever I am gaming, you've been quite an inspiration. Keep up your stuff and, hey... I hope you have an excellent day.
I do suffer with intractable depression a d it’s a wonderful line, I always prefer the personal messages instead of like “praying for you” they always feel more genuine. Sending love to anyone who needs it ❤
as a schizophrenic i relate to that so much that i try to help people with anything, i'm on medication and down with the flat effect no emotions if any very small, and isolating myself so i don't have delusions(i suffer with erotomania and persecutory delusions)
It is. There is schizoaffective too, which does mean the same thing. One is ptsd, and the other is genetic *vut can very front ptsd, but more in the genetic category)
@@kalishiva18schizoaffective is more mood disorder based (major disorder such as bipolar or major depressive episodes) where the psychosis takes more of a backseat. The opposite is true for schizophrenia. Either can be genetic or trauma based.
yeah! i have schizo-affective disorder and the poem really reminded me of myself. I suffer from psychotic and mood symptoms but I feel so much sympathy for those going through it who are alone! You never deserve to struggle by yourself, and its always okay to reach out for help :)
Hurt people hurt people, and dude was incredibly damaged. Ive looked into him a great deal, he was a victim all through his childhood until he became the victimizer
@@chrism4008 Not all of them, most don't, he was garbage and broken and that's why he did it. People have suffered worse and come out better and not done destructive things. Don't be an apologist for evil.
@@OrgusDin Thank you for saying that so tired of those grey type of morals. There is no excuse for someone sane to deliberately and continuously inflict this amount of pain on future generations.
I grew up in the town in which the little boy was murdered in. The mother of the boy is still distraught to this very day. She hosts birthday parties for her son, but more so in a celebrity way. She is such a nice lady, and she did not deserve what that abomination of mankind did to her son.
idk why hes always shocked their atheist or nutso satanic 😂 its lime where the 1% of those groups hang out. we had an insane amount of religious crusades tho so i can’t exactly say theyr unique though lol
I actually used to serve Duncan as an inmate worker in county jail. I actually have some letters of his that he wrote talking about religion, about seven pages worth but he never signed it. I pulled it out of a bunch of letters he was going to throw away during tray return. When I read it it was like reading something from Hannibal lecter. Very intellectual. And on the flip side I also grew up with the older brothers Vance and Jesse.
Scanning them and putting them online for others to view if it were possible would be amazing. Its always interesting to get a look behind the curtain.
As someone who is severely suicidal I just want to bring to light that medical professionals who are supposed to help often can't or don't know how. Going to them only made things worse, please be careful everyone.
Hey man, we may not meet after this but I just qanna tell you that, you, YES YOU, are a great person, a great friend, a great sibling. I've had severe suicidal thoughts too so I know what you're going through. The thing is, you're just seeking a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I swear to god that the phase of life you're currently going through is just a temporary problem. I hope you will get out of this hard patch of life. I want to end this support note by saying, when life gets really bad, God (or universe) has something very great in store for you. Please do not end your life. Thank you for reading this.
@momus5431 Thank you very much, It means much more than you will ever know. Sadly, my situation is not one that will resolve, I have ptsd so I will have to live with this, but people like you make me want to keep going. Thank you.
@thebakedchef I'm really sorry to hear that. And there's no need to thank me. I'm just trying to look out for vulnerable people. It is my responsibility to take care of them. It makes me very happy, and I'm glad that you feel a bit better after reading my note. I hope that you live a good and fulfilling life.
I'm sorry you were failed horribly. I've been going to therapy for 16 years and went through therapists until I finally found the one that makes me feel heard, and uplifts me. Don't give up, there are professionals that actually care, as opposed to the ones scrambling for a paycheck.
My father was a detective for thirty years and actually the lead investigator for the Groene case. Those awful things that Joseph Duncan did, that my father had to personally witness... I can tell you now that he hasn't fully recovered since.
I knew the mother of the deceased son, as I grew up in the same town where he was murdered in California. She is still traumatized and heartbroken to this day.
@xerax-6344 love me some asmonbald. I'm actually balding pretty bad so it makes me laugh when people make fun of his hairline. There's way worse out there.😊
“The world shines a lot less without you in it” isnt something I thought I needed to hear. Thank you, Muda. I know we don’t know eachother at all but I appreciate what you said and I’m glad I watched this video.
The one about souls in one body really feels like somebody with an identity disorder.. I really really hope they are okay and got help. Identity disorders aren't common, but they're still dangerous if unmanaged or unaware of the condition.
It possibly seems like someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder suffering from a fairly profound bout of psychosis. There are several parts that are highly indicative of dissociative symptoms (derealization is the most obvious) and the independence of a large group of voices could indicate separate parts. Though it doesn't have to be DID, these could be just severe psychotic symptoms of any number of issues, though it does seem a bit too "logical" for just psychosis. Don't take this too literally as any identification of a disorder is basically impossible over text, for all we know this could be BPD (which DID is often mistaken for at first), depressive psychosis, DPDR, or anything else mmm also im not qualified to say any of this and dont take me too seriously, also i barely paid attention outside of a few bits so.. edit: Schizophrenia and some other stuff under that umbrella also go i guess idk
It could indeed be dissociation or DID. At first glance the poem may seem like a psychotic episode, but as someone who has gone through dissosiation, suspecting DID as well and I have a friend who often has pretty bad dissociation, it's common to be extremely metaphorical and have weird cosmic/existential/religious thoughts like that during dissociation. Personally, music and abstract literature has been the only way to truly describe what an episode feels like. And dissociation can't be described easily because it's a very surreal thing that occurs. This person seems to be in need of support nonetheless
I’ve known about that. But it’s available on the clear web too. It’s actually a very interesting rabbit hole to go down. He said with the Groene family had their backdoor been locked he would’ve taken that as a sign from God not to do what he was going to. Their backdoor was unfortunately broken and they had not gotten the time to fix it. So repair ur door locks There’s also a lot of lost media, there are some recordings of him described in different posts. Manifesto type things
CreepyPasta lore of yesteryear is still somehow relevant today, wow. I wish I could go back in time and plant some really riveting stories to be read to by Muta on YT 18 years later.
@@DZADangerous I tried ending it just over 10 years ago and still found nothing but numbness. The only thing I like is games but having to work takes time away from the one thing I like. I'm waiting until they take that one thing from me.
@@Infelious If it's games, stick with it. Any and all that you enjoy, stick with it. I know it's cliché to say, but truly love and care for yourself. I honestly needed to get to know myself and and seek what I love about myself. It takes time, but it is time well worth it.
@@DZADangerous the thing is working takes most of the time, why live when most of the time is miserable. I've spent years with the whole "knowing" myself thing... loving myself comes with the prerequisite of having some sort of power over my life which i'll never have.
The reason why I love these dark web videos is to hear the strangest theories that can be hard to find anywhere else. Like I did not know about the pole hole theory until just now!
Please do more of these. Deep web browsing is why i originally subbed to your channel and i watched them every time you put one out. I miss this series.
15:08 This part of the video is pretty sad finding out the person killed himself, but I am glad Muta is someone with a heart and soul who is visibly taken aback by this and I find this part wholesome. It's very human overall.
Reading Joseph Duncan's blog after reading about his crimes, including the crimes he confessed to himself, is wild. The audacity of this vile monster to claim victimhood and demand others to treat him like a reformed human being after he self-admittedly sexually abused more than a dozen children and killed at least two at that point. Only to then commit more heinous crimes. People like him should rot in prison for life after their first offence, not given a second chance.
@@roadog101 Amen, the world will be a better place when these types of people are removed. But then again, maybe there should be more of an incentive for these types of people to not act like a monster, since death is not exactly a "painful" punishment, just an endpoint.
Evil people like this shouldn't even have ever existed to begin with, definitive proof of the non-existence of a benevolent or at least all powerful and benevolent deity of any kind. Evil being allowed to exist as it does is a total refutation of the bullshit religious people say, including when they say that it isn't a total refutation of everything they say.
@@thevoicestoldmetoagain4627 Good and evil are concepts developed by human minds. They exist only in our unspoken, collective agreement. Beyond our little human world, there is nothing but unanswered questions and endless space.
I suffer from Major depression Muta, your one of my favorite youtubers. Calling the suicide hotline always helped, in the USA, therapy is too expensive, so I do what I can. On the other hand, to others in my situation, the hotline really helps, its good to get some things off your chest, and they will listen.
I'm glad you found something that helps, even if it's just for that moment. Keep your head up and never forget you're loved and you deserve a chance at happiness
The one post about Dead End Shrine wasn't a suicide note IMO. There's 9 parts to it but I've only been able to read Part 1, Part 3, and Part 10. I can't figure out how to access the rest. It sounds more like someone killed someone but wrote the story from the "victims" perspective. Also seems like a lot of easter eggs are dropped making it a puzzle to solve. Possibly an ARG that never took off?
That's really interesting. If it's an ARG they really got the schizo posting down to a tee. Reads like someone who's really suffering. Also interesting they chose Eris, the goddess of discord and strife, which would make sense with how they've described their "life". Would love to read the other parts, especially those which are unavailable. Was the one featured part 1 or 10?
Also there seems to be 13 parts and I was able to access them. Haven't read through them all yet but found a codeberg site link by googling the online name of the author "Lethe Belthane". My other comment seems to have gotten deleted cause I posted a link lol. Oops.
Man, I love your deep web browsing series! I've been missing your past few episodes. Either they aren't getting recommended to me or you haven't uploaded one in a while (I haven't checked). In any case, thank you Muta for another instant-classic episode. ❤
"The world shines a lot less without you in it," I don't have depression, or at least I haven't been diagnosed with it since I'm a kid and I can't get shit done where I live. I think I do. Those types of thoughts frequent me and that comes with the skin-scarring actions I use to cope. Man, just watching your videos makes me happy. It makes me wonder about the bigger world, the depths of the internet, theories, people, places. And you, not just Muta, the person reading this. Keep going, because someday that effort, that persistance, it will pay off. You've got this
@@ganglians dw, not a bot The quote at the top reminded me of how much his videos have helped me, and I find sharing - if not vaguely - some of my problems enables me to cope without the self-harm.
14:40 I love how muta completely disregarded the "Eris will claim me in 14 years. You have until 2035." and assumes the lad/lass is gone when they gave a specific year. E for effort, I guess
Dear Mutahar. I deal with the dark thoughts and have tried reaching out to helplines but the times i really needed them, they couldnt be bothered to even listen to me without judging me. Sometimes its better to eat something to fill you up, drink a glass of water with it, go for a walk/hike and if that doesnt work? i just sleep and give up😢
fan fact. Laughing cow chesse is known worldwide. I live in a small country in Central Europe and we have had exactly this cheese brand for like 15 years : D My grapma used to make delicious sandwitches with it when i was like 6.
12:29 Holy shit. I don’t know why but this sent a chill down my spine and out of nowhere I just started tearing up. I don’t understand why this affected me so hard. That.. hec.
i believe i live very close to where the woman who posted her note was found... i looked at the trail and found some info from 2018 about a woman who was found near the trail on a pedestrian bridge... it was right next to a dead end sign so i believe it was her. i found her mothers facebook page and it is heartbreaking. i wont go into more out of respect but it seemed like she was a wonderful girl but just really struggled with addiction and mental illness. i think ill visit the spot and leave some flowers since im near. fucking heartbreaking.
Bro totally unrelated but I looked at the first 10 seconds of this video and your videos brought me so much joy throught my life (started watching your content since I was 13 and I started again now when i'm 18) and I imediatly taught I hope this guy does well. Like literaly the first thing that came to my mind is that I hope you do great in life. Idk I rly apreciate the fact that we have you here on youtube felt like sharing this:)
Making diaries for public consumption is rather an old literary tradition. The Romans did it with Cicero's letters which gave birth to a genre that included Marcus Aurelius' Meditations which started out as his own personal journal that became the defining canon text for the Stoicist philosophy...
I worked for a crime scene cleanup company back in the late 2000s. We were the ones who cleaned the Groene (pronounced Grow-knee) house where Skylar, his mom and his mom’s boyfriend were killed and where Shasta and her little brother were kidnapped from. Joeseph Duncan watched the family after seeing the kids playing outside from the freeway (I-90). The crime scene was not the worst I’ve ever seen, but it was up there.
I love how with all the crazy shit he’s seen Sex Magick is what blew his mind, Aleister Crowley made some wild writings that is what probably inspired that site
I fell asleep 5 minutes in to this last night, I’m so happy I rewatched today. This sparks a deep dive even though it may be uncomfortable. Up to you obviously.
Talking to someone is easier said than done and those hotlines aren't personal. Kindness isn't something that i experience even though i try to make someone's day better even it is just for a smile. I try to make people smile because i don't want anyone to feel like i feel. I don't have family or friends and a support system is foreign to me. I have a gofundme with 0 donations even though i've tried to tell people about it. I'm not going to post it here because i refuse to do that on Mutahs video. Unfortunately , this world revolves around money and if you are struggling, this world doesn't like you and it is very very hard to go on every day and just worry every single minute of the day. But Mutah is right, you do matter and you are needed. If you have someone to talk to, please talk to them.
Wow, reading this is like looking in a mirror. I relate a lot. I definitely refuse to talk to anyone on those hotlines, they don't know me, the most they can do is offer generalized kind words that anyone could say. I've also made a few GFMs in the past, they never really go anywhere. While I do have a small handful of friends and only 2 extended family members that talk to me sometimes, I still feel alone. My friends never really talk to me anymore like we used to, and of course everyone I know is online so there's no way I could go hang out with them for real. I try to help them whenever I can but never in my life have I gotten support from others. It sucks but I don't want to say anything to anyone, I don't want to piss them off and leave and make me even more lonely.
@@BigGayIncorporated Thank you for commenting that because it does make me feel as though at least one person can relate. I always see youtubers and famous people say "Please talk to someone" or "please call the su1cide hotline". But the reality is that when we are depressed and feeling so low that we want to take our lives, the last thing we want to hear is someone whom we do not know nor do they know us, trying to help us by reading from a script. That hotline is coming from a good and noble place, but its just not practical. And i know how you feel with not wanting to bother people with our problems. I just wish there we more people like us who truly want to feel as though we are cared about. I know i don't know you, but you may feel as i do. All i have ever wanted was for someone to care for me as i care for them. I am extremely loyal person and when i care about someone i am there for them no matter what. I just don't understand why most people aren't like that. For the past few years, almost every day has been filled with worry and dread. I don't even remember the last time that i laughed. I have always had difficulties with social situations and i am judged by my looks quite a bit. I'm 6'2 and almost 300 and i've been told that i'm very intimidating but that isn't who i am. I smile at everyone and i am extremely polite because i don't want anyone to be intimidated. I just wish people would try to get to know me. The people who i do have in my life are not very nice. My current gf i have been there for her through everything and i have always been there to be a shoulder to cry on or just to vent. But i have never received that in return. She has virtually no emotion what so ever and it has gotten to me to the point where i am now scared to talk to anyone. I truly feel that i am at the end of my rope because worrying every single day and feeling like i am worthless has taken a massive toll on me. The world revolves around money and if you are sick or something happens, theres nothing to help. I can't even afford food right now. I am embarrassed and ashamed of that and I'm at the point where i just want the pain to go away. I'm sorry for such a long comment and i am sorry for dumping all of that through a youtube comment. I mainly wanted to thank you and tell you that you are worth more than you know. Just by relating to me you made me feel a little better which is more than anyone has done for me in years.
I know you probably won’t read this but your words about mental health and getting help actually helped me a lot. I’m currently watching your video to get my mind off my suicidal thoughts and I feel like it can’t be a coincidence that you stumbled upon this letter and I’m watching this video rn where I feel like ending it all. Guess it’s a sign.
This reminds me of certain terrorist's suicide note/explanation as to why he did what he did. For background, his name was Joseph Stack and he was responsible for the 2010 attack on the Austin IRS building. If anyone wants to read about it, I would definitely recommend. It's really interesting, and it's not too hard to find online. Just have to go onto the Wikipedia page and do a little searching.
Here in europe that cheese also is around, and it called the laughing cow but in french, "La vache qui rit" which is probably the original name of this french cheese.
Ver a muta angustiarse y escuchar lo que dijo de que el mundo es un lugar menos brillante sin vos . Me rompió el alma , más siendo una persona con que lucha contra esos mismos pensamientos
Talking to people makes no difference its not like they can help you or get you out of the situation. Maybe if you have a chemical imbalance they can help you go to a doctor but anyone whos been afflicted with to much reality can't be helped. This is my own personal experience.
I agree, when your depression is simply because the foul state of the world its almost incurable. There is a couple that can work temporarily for me, but society ensures that those solutions will become problematic
damn thats insane we live in a crazy world rn, i've lost friends and people i consider family to disease and suicide since covid has kicked off and you're right the mental health aspect of these videos is hard to chew up , love your work dude
![Megan Thee Stallion - Neva Play (feat. RM) [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/TpYTyAaTRts/mqdefault.jpg)
Check out the newest podcast episode: ruclips.net/video/VlAZEsqtWQE/видео.html
Neato
Erm what the scallop
Lolipop 🦥🦥🦥
Fortnite balls
Oh no, you are a DJIF guy.... 😞
WE GETTING PUT ON A FBI WATCH LIST WITH THIS ONE 🗣️💯🔥
My FBI agent’s right hand is probably purple sore if he watches me. 😊
I don't think we are gonna Burenyuu Dori Dori Dori janjina out of this one boys
WE GETTING PUT IN FEDERAL PRISON WITH THIS ONE🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯
@@TrojanLube69😏
This is a certified watch list classic
Muta going from giving hope to someone potentially in crisis, to a totally real internet hitman is the dankest of dank web moments.
Everything on the deepweb is fake, it's just likely a palace full of weirdo's in their moms basement.
Who tf still says dank
@@da_poopoo_dealer3152 do u really expect people to change their lingo every couple of years just because it isn't "cool" anymore.
@@karpich1994exactly man
@@karpich1994yes
“The world shines a lot less without you in it”
Muta you have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
cho ass up
Chill
Just a reminder in case you need it today
The world would be a lot less beautiful without you in it. You got this!
You matter Quinn even to this stranger who you didn’t matter to before seeing your comment but reading that has put you in my thoughts.
This is not an empty comment, you matter.
"The world shines a lot less without you in it."
Muta, I don't suffer from depression, but that is a line I can definitely can get behind when it comes to give a person in need some support.
Jeez, man, you're a great guy, I love listening to your videos whenever I am gaming, you've been quite an inspiration.
Keep up your stuff and, hey...
I hope you have an excellent day.
❤
I do suffer with intractable depression a d it’s a wonderful line, I always prefer the personal messages instead of like “praying for you” they always feel more genuine. Sending love to anyone who needs it ❤
as a schizophrenic i relate to that so much that i try to help people with anything, i'm on medication and down with the flat effect no emotions if any very small, and isolating myself so i don't have delusions(i suffer with erotomania and persecutory delusions)
as someone with pretty bad depression, i may have teared a lil
Bruh the world definitely would shine a lot more if edp445 just left 💀
That note/poem really sounded like someone with schizophrenia. It was interesting and nonsensical, what a shame if they are really gone.
It is. There is schizoaffective too, which does mean the same thing. One is ptsd, and the other is genetic *vut can very front ptsd, but more in the genetic category)
@@kalishiva18schizotypal & schizoid personality disorder as well! :P
Smh
@@kalishiva18schizoaffective is more mood disorder based (major disorder such as bipolar or major depressive episodes) where the psychosis takes more of a backseat. The opposite is true for schizophrenia. Either can be genetic or trauma based.
yeah! i have schizo-affective disorder and the poem really reminded me of myself. I suffer from psychotic and mood symptoms but I feel so much sympathy for those going through it who are alone! You never deserve to struggle by yourself, and its always okay to reach out for help :)
So crazy how a serial killer can put “believe in love” in a video then go on to murder a family 💀
Hurt people hurt people, and dude was incredibly damaged. Ive looked into him a great deal, he was a victim all through his childhood until he became the victimizer
Why couldn’t someone who has taken lives be capable of “love”? I don’t understand the correlation between the two.
@@chrism4008 Not all of them, most don't, he was garbage and broken and that's why he did it. People have suffered worse and come out better and not done destructive things. Don't be an apologist for evil.
@@OrgusDin Thank you for saying that so tired of those grey type of morals. There is no excuse for someone sane to deliberately and continuously inflict this amount of pain on future generations.
I grew up in the town in which the little boy was murdered in. The mother of the boy is still distraught to this very day. She hosts birthday parties for her son, but more so in a celebrity way. She is such a nice lady, and she did not deserve what that abomination of mankind did to her son.
As disturbing as it is, it's always a pleasure to see some Deep Web videos, Muta
Damn, who would have known that all the redditors are in the crux of the earth!!!!!
These sites feel like Scps written by crazy people
Yes but yo mama 😮
idk why hes always shocked their atheist or nutso satanic 😂 its lime where the 1% of those groups hang out. we had an insane amount of religious crusades tho so i can’t exactly say theyr unique though lol
Muta means beef cookie in swedish
I actually used to serve Duncan as an inmate worker in county jail. I actually have some letters of his that he wrote talking about religion, about seven pages worth but he never signed it. I pulled it out of a bunch of letters he was going to throw away during tray return. When I read it it was like reading something from Hannibal lecter. Very intellectual. And on the flip side I also grew up with the older brothers Vance and Jesse.
Scanning them and putting them online for others to view if it were possible would be amazing. Its always interesting to get a look behind the curtain.
Should let muta get a copy of them and he can put it on a deep dive of this guy
🧢
Muta should get in touch with you ASAP
sure buddy
I love how genuinely concerned for people and animals you are. Been watching you for years and that’s what keeps me coming back to your content tbh.
As someone who is severely suicidal I just want to bring to light that medical professionals who are supposed to help often can't or don't know how. Going to them only made things worse, please be careful everyone.
@matthewsmith3817 glad you decided to stick around. Hope you find your peace
Hey man, we may not meet after this but I just qanna tell you that, you, YES YOU, are a great person, a great friend, a great sibling.
I've had severe suicidal thoughts too so I know what you're going through.
The thing is, you're just seeking a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I swear to god that the phase of life you're currently going through is just a temporary problem. I hope you will get out of this hard patch of life.
I want to end this support note by saying, when life gets really bad, God (or universe) has something very great in store for you. Please do not end your life. Thank you for reading this.
@momus5431 Thank you very much, It means much more than you will ever know. Sadly, my situation is not one that will resolve, I have ptsd so I will have to live with this, but people like you make me want to keep going. Thank you.
@thebakedchef I'm really sorry to hear that. And there's no need to thank me. I'm just trying to look out for vulnerable people. It is my responsibility to take care of them. It makes me very happy, and I'm glad that you feel a bit better after reading my note. I hope that you live a good and fulfilling life.
I'm sorry you were failed horribly. I've been going to therapy for 16 years and went through therapists until I finally found the one that makes me feel heard, and uplifts me. Don't give up, there are professionals that actually care, as opposed to the ones scrambling for a paycheck.
You know shit's down the drain when Mutah hasnt trimmed his beard
Frr
He looks like he did a interview for the remake of Castaway, where now instead of a FedEx pilot, he is a Uber eats driver.
@@ThePaperKhants was not funny lil bro 😭😭🤞🏽
My father was a detective for thirty years and actually the lead investigator for the Groene case. Those awful things that Joseph Duncan did, that my father had to personally witness... I can tell you now that he hasn't fully recovered since.
That is absolutely awful. Just from hearing about the demented stuff humans pull make me sick to my stomach. Wishing the best for both of you.
I knew the mother of the deceased son, as I grew up in the same town where he was murdered in California. She is still traumatized and heartbroken to this day.
.
…
FYI: I can’t fall asleep without having deep web browsing in the background. True story. I keep re-watching the series over and over again
I feel this i either put on deep web browsing or Asmongold
This and Kitboga full streams. Im like a toddler with a sound machine 😂
@xerax-6344 love me some asmonbald. I'm actually balding pretty bad so it makes me laugh when people make fun of his hairline. There's way worse out there.😊
Same!
I do this too at night. Really wish I could stop. It used to be TV, so I suppose it’s not that different 🤷
“The world shines a lot less without you in it” isnt something I thought I needed to hear. Thank you, Muda. I know we don’t know eachother at all but I appreciate what you said and I’m glad I watched this video.
It actually was the most precious thing I heard this year - not thinking it would come from him. 😂
Cringe
The true crime junkies are gonna be psyched to hear about this upcoming deep-dive
The one about souls in one body really feels like somebody with an identity disorder.. I really really hope they are okay and got help. Identity disorders aren't common, but they're still dangerous if unmanaged or unaware of the condition.
It possibly seems like someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder suffering from a fairly profound bout of psychosis. There are several parts that are highly indicative of dissociative symptoms (derealization is the most obvious) and the independence of a large group of voices could indicate separate parts.
Though it doesn't have to be DID, these could be just severe psychotic symptoms of any number of issues, though it does seem a bit too "logical" for just psychosis. Don't take this too literally as any identification of a disorder is basically impossible over text, for all we know this could be BPD (which DID is often mistaken for at first), depressive psychosis, DPDR, or anything else
mmm also im not qualified to say any of this and dont take me too seriously, also i barely paid attention outside of a few bits so..
edit: Schizophrenia and some other stuff under that umbrella also go i guess idk
It could indeed be dissociation or DID. At first glance the poem may seem like a psychotic episode, but as someone who has gone through dissosiation, suspecting DID as well and I have a friend who often has pretty bad dissociation, it's common to be extremely metaphorical and have weird cosmic/existential/religious thoughts like that during dissociation. Personally, music and abstract literature has been the only way to truly describe what an episode feels like. And dissociation can't be described easily because it's a very surreal thing that occurs. This person seems to be in need of support nonetheless
I’ve known about that. But it’s available on the clear web too. It’s actually a very interesting rabbit hole to go down. He said with the Groene family had their backdoor been locked he would’ve taken that as a sign from God not to do what he was going to. Their backdoor was unfortunately broken and they had not gotten the time to fix it. So repair ur door locks
There’s also a lot of lost media, there are some recordings of him described in different posts. Manifesto type things
@@meowmeowmeowmeowcatoncomputerexactly, that’s smart. You NEVER know
@@Skinny2ShreddedIt's so fucking sad the amount of extra precautions women have e to take cause of creepers and rapists
@@meowmeowmeowmeowcatoncomputer Be aware of your surroundings as you walk into your home, too. Doesn't take much for things to go terribly wrong.
@@ShamarBlygenMen have to take the same precautions mate.
@@ZeallustImmortal I forgot this comment existed 💀, Also yeah I know I was just commenting on the video specifically
You know it's a good day when Muta post a deep web video !
Muta looks good with a beard. I want to see him go full internet wiseman and grow that baby out
Grow a magnificient wizards beard 😂
CreepyPasta lore of yesteryear is still somehow relevant today, wow. I wish I could go back in time and plant some really riveting stories to be read to by Muta on YT 18 years later.
God that intro was so nostalgic. Those dark web browsing videos are where my time here started… good times 😢
Which one were you conceived to?
@@KaguyaIzanagi don’t remember tbh it was back in like late 2019
Man, I tried ending it tonight.... Been doom scrolling since the attempt, Crisis line had me on hold, somehow found my way here. Good guy man..Kudos!
You got this, I tried ending it 10 years ago and found much more to live for.
@@DZADangerous I tried ending it just over 10 years ago and still found nothing but numbness. The only thing I like is games but having to work takes time away from the one thing I like. I'm waiting until they take that one thing from me.
@@Infelious If it's games, stick with it. Any and all that you enjoy, stick with it. I know it's cliché to say, but truly love and care for yourself. I honestly needed to get to know myself and and seek what I love about myself. It takes time, but it is time well worth it.
21 years for me.
@@DZADangerous the thing is working takes most of the time, why live when most of the time is miserable. I've spent years with the whole "knowing" myself thing... loving myself comes with the prerequisite of having some sort of power over my life which i'll never have.
The reason why I love these dark web videos is to hear the strangest theories that can be hard to find anywhere else. Like I did not know about the pole hole theory until just now!
Look up documentary about pigeons aren’t real. U might like it
@@blunttlynxx1973 ooo I remember that one! Good pick.
Does Muta need a hug?
Seriously, this was a wild episode! I like that it's not every week. It's always a nice surprise when these pop up!
I suggested Sunday of every 2nd week, but it looks like it got deleted
Please do more of these. Deep web browsing is why i originally subbed to your channel and i watched them every time you put one out. I miss this series.
15:08 This part of the video is pretty sad finding out the person killed himself, but I am glad Muta is someone with a heart and soul who is visibly taken aback by this and I find this part wholesome. It's very human overall.
How do you know it happened?
Really? I was like jeez all these dramatics for someone you don't even know. 🤷🏾♂️ Idk I guess that's a good person and I'm not.
They're fine. They have a clearnet version of the site that they updated to clarify this.
Sorry for being late. Could you link it I'm super interested
@@Quirky_Dinosaur i was able to find it by googling Dead End Shrine. I haven't read it yet but it looks like there are 15 pages to it.
I missed these.
Glad to see you’re doing it in the day, despite the loss of the dark vibe im glad you’re not depriving yourself of sleep.
I did the same thing as muta. Deprive myself of deep in 2am and click random wiki links on tor, and that's not good your psyche one bit
“The world shines a lot less without you in it.”
Man I really needed to hear that, times are tough but hearing that made it a little more bearable.
Reading Joseph Duncan's blog after reading about his crimes, including the crimes he confessed to himself, is wild. The audacity of this vile monster to claim victimhood and demand others to treat him like a reformed human being after he self-admittedly sexually abused more than a dozen children and killed at least two at that point. Only to then commit more heinous crimes. People like him should rot in prison for life after their first offence, not given a second chance.
They shouldn't rot in it, they should rot under it
@@roadog101 Amen, the world will be a better place when these types of people are removed. But then again, maybe there should be more of an incentive for these types of people to not act like a monster, since death is not exactly a "painful" punishment, just an endpoint.
Evil people like this shouldn't even have ever existed to begin with, definitive proof of the non-existence of a benevolent or at least all powerful and benevolent deity of any kind. Evil being allowed to exist as it does is a total refutation of the bullshit religious people say, including when they say that it isn't a total refutation of everything they say.
@@OrgusDinThere is no good without evil. Think about that for a while.
@@thevoicestoldmetoagain4627 Good and evil are concepts developed by human minds. They exist only in our unspoken, collective agreement. Beyond our little human world, there is nothing but unanswered questions and endless space.
The only thing that keeps me from ending myself is knowing how much I piss people off staying alive.
"The world would be better off without me, which is why I must stay alive" type shit
I suffer from Major depression Muta, your one of my favorite youtubers. Calling the suicide hotline always helped, in the USA, therapy is too expensive, so I do what I can. On the other hand, to others in my situation, the hotline really helps, its good to get some things off your chest, and they will listen.
keep ur head up retro! it is always darkest before the dawn
Best wishes, never stop fighting it out.
Hey! The best of wishes to you. Keep at it! :)
w mans for expressing his thoughts 🫡
I'm glad you found something that helps, even if it's just for that moment. Keep your head up and never forget you're loved and you deserve a chance at happiness
The one post about Dead End Shrine wasn't a suicide note IMO. There's 9 parts to it but I've only been able to read Part 1, Part 3, and Part 10. I can't figure out how to access the rest. It sounds more like someone killed someone but wrote the story from the "victims" perspective. Also seems like a lot of easter eggs are dropped making it a puzzle to solve. Possibly an ARG that never took off?
Huh that’s interesting.
That's really interesting. If it's an ARG they really got the schizo posting down to a tee. Reads like someone who's really suffering. Also interesting they chose Eris, the goddess of discord and strife, which would make sense with how they've described their "life". Would love to read the other parts, especially those which are unavailable. Was the one featured part 1 or 10?
@@aleksidragoev5626 the one that muta read was part 1
Also there seems to be 13 parts and I was able to access them. Haven't read through them all yet but found a codeberg site link by googling the online name of the author "Lethe Belthane". My other comment seems to have gotten deleted cause I posted a link lol. Oops.
I've heard this site is also on the clearnet, anyone got a link?
The dark web is full of serious mental health cases and genuine weirdness!... Wild episode. Can't wait for the deep dive video :)
I missed your deep web series brother, this series helped get me through some hard times in my life
thank you for everything Mr. Har
Man, I love your deep web browsing series! I've been missing your past few episodes. Either they aren't getting recommended to me or you haven't uploaded one in a while (I haven't checked). In any case, thank you Muta for another instant-classic episode. ❤
You should definetly make a whole video on that guy!
YO! This is the BEST deep web episode! Well done, sir…well done. 🎩 the voodoo part was my favorite, very silly.😂
One thing I never understood is how some of these sites stay up so long after the owners pass.
It's fake thats why.
Muta i miss your chill long form content so much thank you ive been waiting for this
"The world shines a lot less without you in it,"
I don't have depression, or at least I haven't been diagnosed with it since I'm a kid and I can't get shit done where I live. I think I do. Those types of thoughts frequent me and that comes with the skin-scarring actions I use to cope. Man, just watching your videos makes me happy. It makes me wonder about the bigger world, the depths of the internet, theories, people, places.
And you, not just Muta, the person reading this. Keep going, because someday that effort, that persistance, it will pay off. You've got this
Quite a dark video to find hope in. Say, you're not a bot, are you?
@@ganglians dw, not a bot
The quote at the top reminded me of how much his videos have helped me, and I find sharing - if not vaguely - some of my problems enables me to cope without the self-harm.
14:40 I love how muta completely disregarded the "Eris will claim me in 14 years. You have until 2035." and assumes the lad/lass is gone when they gave a specific year.
E for effort, I guess
that's what I thought lmao
Dear Mutahar. I deal with the dark thoughts and have tried reaching out to helplines but the times i really needed them, they couldnt be bothered to even listen to me without judging me. Sometimes its better to eat something to fill you up, drink a glass of water with it, go for a walk/hike and if that doesnt work? i just sleep and give up😢
Read the Qur'an. Its God's word
Who else misses it when he did it every Sunday?
18:26 "enlèvement" in french translates to "removal" but in fact it means kidnapping
fan fact. Laughing cow chesse is known worldwide. I live in a small country in Central Europe and we have had exactly this cheese brand for like 15 years : D
My grapma used to make delicious sandwitches with it when i was like 6.
Muta diving into the deep web is like dumpster diving. You never know what kind of shit you will find.
Try apartments and condos during holidays.
The "Cult of One" page mentioned the person they were writing to was named Jett. The serial killer's alias was Jet. Very odd coincidence.
I don't believe in coincidences. Nice observation!
Different people
good thing i woke up 5 in the morning to watch Muta read serial killer diary
12:29
Holy shit. I don’t know why but this sent a chill down my spine and out of nowhere I just started tearing up. I don’t understand why this affected me so hard. That.. hec.
This episode just kept picking up in darkness. That last guy is truly a monster
the laughing cow should also be popular in europe since the original name "la vache qui rit" is a french cheese
Yeah we have it in UK
god muta im glad i stumbled onto this video today... you dont know how much i needed to hear that... thank you
i believe i live very close to where the woman who posted her note was found... i looked at the trail and found some info from 2018 about a woman who was found near the trail on a pedestrian bridge... it was right next to a dead end sign so i believe it was her. i found her mothers facebook page and it is heartbreaking. i wont go into more out of respect but it seemed like she was a wonderful girl but just really struggled with addiction and mental illness. i think ill visit the spot and leave some flowers since im near. fucking heartbreaking.
this was two min from my house :(
but also looking into this case it doesn’t seem to have been self inflicted-
@@acid-ang3l omg :( thats so sad dude im really hoping the family is doing ok
Muta: My mind is an enigma
Me: *the gif of spilled milk plays*
It's like bumping into an old friend.
Bro totally unrelated but I looked at the first 10 seconds of this video and your videos brought me so much joy throught my life (started watching your content since I was 13 and I started again now when i'm 18) and I imediatly taught I hope this guy does well. Like literaly the first thing that came to my mind is that I hope you do great in life. Idk I rly apreciate the fact that we have you here on youtube felt like sharing this:)
That's why you shouldn't write a diary on the internet
Making diaries for public consumption is rather an old literary tradition. The Romans did it with Cicero's letters which gave birth to a genre that included Marcus Aurelius' Meditations which started out as his own personal journal that became the defining canon text for the Stoicist philosophy...
I worked for a crime scene cleanup company back in the late 2000s. We were the ones who cleaned the Groene (pronounced Grow-knee) house where Skylar, his mom and his mom’s boyfriend were killed and where Shasta and her little brother were kidnapped from. Joeseph Duncan watched the family after seeing the kids playing outside from the freeway (I-90). The crime scene was not the worst I’ve ever seen, but it was up there.
I love how with all the crazy shit he’s seen Sex Magick is what blew his mind, Aleister Crowley made some wild writings that is what probably inspired that site
Kinda sad it isnt sunday. But still thank you for this episode
I fell asleep 5 minutes in to this last night, I’m so happy I rewatched today. This sparks a deep dive even though it may be uncomfortable. Up to you obviously.
I thought serial killers were too psycho and serious to write little baby diaries.
they're as varied as the rest of the population. cold and calculated, or basically just extremely traumatized and fucked up children in adult bodies
YES. Oh Muta, that intro made me so happy!! Thank you brother for brightening my day. Been there with you since Deep Web 4.
I love how the side ads are still there on the Dark Web
Talking to someone is easier said than done and those hotlines aren't personal. Kindness isn't something that i experience even though i try to make someone's day better even it is just for a smile. I try to make people smile because i don't want anyone to feel like i feel. I don't have family or friends and a support system is foreign to me. I have a gofundme with 0 donations even though i've tried to tell people about it. I'm not going to post it here because i refuse to do that on Mutahs video. Unfortunately , this world revolves around money and if you are struggling, this world doesn't like you and it is very very hard to go on every day and just worry every single minute of the day. But Mutah is right, you do matter and you are needed. If you have someone to talk to, please talk to them.
Wow, reading this is like looking in a mirror. I relate a lot. I definitely refuse to talk to anyone on those hotlines, they don't know me, the most they can do is offer generalized kind words that anyone could say. I've also made a few GFMs in the past, they never really go anywhere. While I do have a small handful of friends and only 2 extended family members that talk to me sometimes, I still feel alone. My friends never really talk to me anymore like we used to, and of course everyone I know is online so there's no way I could go hang out with them for real. I try to help them whenever I can but never in my life have I gotten support from others. It sucks but I don't want to say anything to anyone, I don't want to piss them off and leave and make me even more lonely.
@@BigGayIncorporated Thank you for commenting that because it does make me feel as though at least one person can relate. I always see youtubers and famous people say "Please talk to someone" or "please call the su1cide hotline". But the reality is that when we are depressed and feeling so low that we want to take our lives, the last thing we want to hear is someone whom we do not know nor do they know us, trying to help us by reading from a script. That hotline is coming from a good and noble place, but its just not practical. And i know how you feel with not wanting to bother people with our problems. I just wish there we more people like us who truly want to feel as though we are cared about. I know i don't know you, but you may feel as i do. All i have ever wanted was for someone to care for me as i care for them. I am extremely loyal person and when i care about someone i am there for them no matter what. I just don't understand why most people aren't like that.
For the past few years, almost every day has been filled with worry and dread. I don't even remember the last time that i laughed. I have always had difficulties with social situations and i am judged by my looks quite a bit. I'm 6'2 and almost 300 and i've been told that i'm very intimidating but that isn't who i am. I smile at everyone and i am extremely polite because i don't want anyone to be intimidated. I just wish people would try to get to know me. The people who i do have in my life are not very nice. My current gf i have been there for her through everything and i have always been there to be a shoulder to cry on or just to vent. But i have never received that in return. She has virtually no emotion what so ever and it has gotten to me to the point where i am now scared to talk to anyone. I truly feel that i am at the end of my rope because worrying every single day and feeling like i am worthless has taken a massive toll on me. The world revolves around money and if you are sick or something happens, theres nothing to help. I can't even afford food right now. I am embarrassed and ashamed of that and I'm at the point where i just want the pain to go away.
I'm sorry for such a long comment and i am sorry for dumping all of that through a youtube comment. I mainly wanted to thank you and tell you that you are worth more than you know. Just by relating to me you made me feel a little better which is more than anyone has done for me in years.
Muta please make that Deep Dive, it's a really interesting topic imo. But only if your mental health can handle it!
Dude. Heavy. Can’t wait for you to go through this. Cheers from Saskatchewan
"Can't wait for you to go through this." Sounds so threatening 😂
The classic is back!
Serial killer website starts at 30:48
Thanks, would have been nice to find 5 minutes ago
That note hit me right in the heart if im honest. Less in the crazy way, more in the hopless greif way.
The Steve Haines reference made me laugh so hard
I know you probably won’t read this but your words about mental health and getting help actually helped me a lot. I’m currently watching your video to get my mind off my suicidal thoughts and I feel like it can’t be a coincidence that you stumbled upon this letter and I’m watching this video rn where I feel like ending it all.
Guess it’s a sign.
This reminds me of certain terrorist's suicide note/explanation as to why he did what he did. For background, his name was Joseph Stack and he was responsible for the 2010 attack on the Austin IRS building. If anyone wants to read about it, I would definitely recommend. It's really interesting, and it's not too hard to find online. Just have to go onto the Wikipedia page and do a little searching.
Hollow Earth Review would be a great name for a blog about basement shows at universities.
WE MAKIN IT INTO THE PENITENTIARY WITH THIS ONE 🗣🔥💯
Ah yes, Muta’s iconic gag/cough/throw up
thanks for your words about hard times, your content saved my life also.... you are great :)
I love these types of videos.. I feel like I’m hanging out with a friend surfing dumb shit on Wiby while I build my Gundam kits and laugh!
Please cover chris chan being put back with his mother. He's living with her again!
Muta really said the DeLorean from Fast and the Furious crying
Dark web browsing is one of my favorite series on RUclips if there was one everyday I would watch
bro was so excited he said "let's go" three times 😂😂. You're right about being rusty with the intro.
Here in europe that cheese also is around, and it called the laughing cow but in french, "La vache qui rit" which is probably the original name of this french cheese.
Vids like these is why I subbed years ago
Ver a muta angustiarse y escuchar lo que dijo de que el mundo es un lugar menos brillante sin vos .
Me rompió el alma , más siendo una persona con que lucha contra esos mismos pensamientos
Now I have a loop of John Lennon's Imagine playing in my head. Ahhh, that song is so calming.
When I hear “deep web browsing, dark web browsing” I’m locked in. LETS GOOOOOOO
God I miss that intro. Need to go back and watch the old videos for nostalgia.
Talking to people makes no difference its not like they can help you or get you out of the situation. Maybe if you have a chemical imbalance they can help you go to a doctor but anyone whos been afflicted with to much reality can't be helped. This is my own personal experience.
I agree, when your depression is simply because the foul state of the world its almost incurable. There is a couple that can work temporarily for me, but society ensures that those solutions will become problematic
damn thats insane we live in a crazy world rn, i've lost friends and people i consider family to disease and suicide since covid has kicked off and you're right the mental health aspect of these videos is hard to chew up , love your work dude
That doesn’t seem like a send off note at all it seems like dark poetry
Your beard game is on point today.
Greg really stepping up his game huh
Cool to hear this stuff again, currently writing a book and I incorporated some of the tunnels and hollow earth into part of the background lore.
Mudahar looks like he hasn’t slept in a month because of the rabbit hole he went down
He didn’t
I love seeing more dank web browsing from Muta, I've seen them all.. Another banger video.
You know who else found a serial killer's diary on the deep web?
*MY MOM!*
Furiously runs around shirtless
WOOOH WOOH WOOOH WOOOH!
Nice Red Sox hat man! Sending love from Boston - long-time subscriber here ✌🏼
I think a cool 1 hour long video could be a collab like with Wendigoon, or other true crime channels that would be a cool idea