Fellow ISTP here. Here's a cheat code: Feelers, if you want an ISTP shoulder to cry on, tell them up front that you just want to talk/complain and the act of listening will make you feel better. ISTPs are problem solvers and they do care, they just don't know how to fix the situation. If you tell them, "I had a bad day, can I just vent? I don't want any advice right now, I just want you to listen." your ISTP will be like "okay, listening will help with the problem. Okay, I'll do that and the problem will get better."
this is spot on. if u just talk to us about problems our default position will be problem here > remove waffle > solve problem > advise. but as u say if u categorically state I just need some one to listen.. we'll find it a lot easier not to advise. and we are great listeners
waltstrika actually it really works on my bf lol. I say what i want to say and what i want him to do because he cant get any signal and morse code lollll
"TELL ISTPS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT!" I hope people really understand the fact that I can't read their minds, So they have to SAY what they want from me!
I had to learn to read people and now that I read them lile an open book it really pisses me off how most of the people are fake and manipulative. I can not be fooled.
Being logical is the key to every healthy relationship. You are the coolest and your perception of everything is just... Right. You are really intelligent and i hope that you never forget it just because most people don't get you and you feel like an outsider.
This is so true. It applies to all areas in my life - work, learning different things, understanding relationships, even the process of becoming self aware.
Spot on with every point. I think it's worth reiterating that ISTPs are genuine, playful, compassionate, and far more sensitive than we're given credit for. You just have to come at us with zero ulterior motives or emotional window dressing. You want to date an ISTP? Tell them you want to date. You want an ISTP to emotionally support you in a thing? Tell them specifically that you need emotional support for a thing. It's literally that easy, yet somehow people are extremely reluctant to be so straightforward in what they want from others. It never ceases to amaze me that people refuse to clearly state what they want, and then blame the ISTP for not being able to read their mind.
I’ve noticed that I don’t always communicate with others the way I want them to communicate with me. I dress things up to be better accepted, especially advice. I’ll acknowledge the emotions first, then use my Se to wait for an opening where I don’t think they’ll reject my advice. My ex-girlfriend eventually learned to appreciate my advice, but quite often wanted some emotional feedback and support, rather than a logical answer to help her get to a better place and avoid the problem in the future. Especially because we were long distance, I was unable to give her that support through physical touch or a sense of presence which I much prefer for communicating emotionally, and did a horrendous job of trying to communicate that support and emotion through words and voice.
Emily Jones That is dead on. Be straight forward and don't play games. I once dated a girl who would do neither of those things and then called me an idiot because I couldn't read her mind. Things were never what they seemed to be with her. It was passive-aggressive nonsense. Needless to say, the relationship failed.
I always thought i had some mental issues for being the way i am, an ISTP, recently i did a personality test and now i'm seeing all this videos, and i feel so much more relieved, i thought that i was some kind of psycho or something, cause i never found out someone like me, now it's nice to relate with all this comments
I'm an ENFP and sometimes it's a wonder my ISTP husband and I have been together as long as we have. We worked together and I was immediately attracted to him. I would try to come up with a bunch of different excuses to talk to him. Dropped subtle hints, which turned into very obvious hints, until one day I just bit the bullet and said "I've been flirting with you non stop for almost 6 months, are we doing this or not?" His response was, "Yeah, sure." And we've been together ever since.
I'm in a similar situation! I'm also an enfp who has a major crush on a guy I'm pretty sure is an istp. Only, we aren't in a relationship. We "flirt" a lot but I always second guess his motives because I have a hard time thinking that someone could actually have a crush on me😂 I sort of stopped liking him about a year ago and texted him that I used to like him but everything he did and said was making me rethink. He sounded surprised (it was a text though, so not sure how he actually reacted) so I clarified that I no longer liked him. He said "okay good, because that would be weird." I think he was putting on a front though because I'm 75% sure he liked me. Now I like him again but I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I'm too forward because I crave connection. Anyways sorry for the rant, I just think it's cool that an enfp-istp relationship actually worked out
@@gretals9782 my best friend is an ENFP I'm an istp. Just tell the person straight up how you feel and don't be offended by their response because they'll try to be as honest as possible.
@@gretals9782 Hey girl if u crave connection an istp love interest may not be the type for you...given that they aren't the most romantic type in the mbti
@@alexsearltea1746 you all are friends right...so just bring it up casually in conversation. Talk generally about relationships and 'feel out' her answers from them u can gage when and how to reveal your feelings. Remember casual and low key...no pressure or emotion...so don't do it in a romantic setting please...wish u luck
"ISTPs aren't typically a shoulder to cry on. They'll listen, but will then try to solve your problem." Generally true, but I would add that I've learned sometimes just being the shoulder solves the problem for that person. It is because I'm older that I understand that, but I'm still very selective for whom I do that (primarily my wife, but there are some others) because it gets annoying and exhausting quickly. I've learned that if they need it, then I let them cry it out first so they can get that emotional release, because it makes it easier afterwards to actually set about looking at the problem and what can be done about it. I didn't used to be this way. I used to be the classic "stop crying and do something about it" person. It wasn't until my own meltdown hit me that I understood it.
VTdarkangel I have learned the same thing but it has taken all my life. It’s still natural for me to propose a solution so I have to actively curb that urge once I realize the person just wants to vent.
@@liquidantonym6322 It is for me, too. I still want to immediately look for a solution. I have make myself actively look at the person and their behavior and listen to what they say and how they say it to figure out if they need to vent. Usually only takes a few seconds, but it isn't instinctive. As I said before, it took me having my own emotional meltdown (or tidal wave if you want to use Dave and Shan's description) before I truly understood it.
Had a horrible time with an high school friend. She was a little bit high strung and really wanted to overachieve academically and whatnot. Being the young naive ISTP that I was, I tried and failed to cheer her up and help her but discovered too late that she didn't need help but someone to vent to. Never understood these types and I still find them a little unappealing.
People seem to think we are this very complex mysterious creature that's impossible to figure out, when in fact we are very simple. Just tell us straight up what you want from us. No sugar coating necessary, no beating around the bush needed, don't worry about our feelings. Out with it. Just make sure that what you tell us is actually what you want. Whatever you tell us we will take as a definitive answer.
Yes...I think we are very sensitive sometimes, but In other times, logic kicks in and if people are sincere and direct in what they want to tell us, we are going to take it in a positive way.... And it's really true ,they shouldn't care about our feelings when they tell us these things, cause we tend to be very blunt in our interactions too, so we understand.
I think I understand what you mean. That is if you are referring to an ability to balance the polarizing opposition of objectivity and subjectivity. As if it's like we can see through someone else's smoke and mirrors in the same manner as looking through the fog and seeing a forest without forsaking the fallen foliage beneath our own feet. Or better yet, we know how recognize the small details in order to grasp a bigger picture. And we know how to distinguish the subtleties between looking and seeing; or hearing and listening.
''The best way to seduce someone is to listen to them a lot. But, someone has to talk'' As an introvert trying to get intimate with another introvert, that line really gets me. 🤣🤣
As an INFP, I love ISTPs, because they frikkin *get it*. They're really kind and genuine without needing lots of conversational fluff or stuff like that. In fact, it's much better this way, because immediately moving to solve the problem someone is dealing with is, in my opinion, a stronger display of kindness than just verbally stating your compassion because society demands you do. It's also more productive, which is great, because I'm naturally not very productive and I'd love to improve that lol. Also I love the fact we can be blunt around each other and don't mind it. Very liberating- I imagine for both of us.
You hit it right on ! As an INFP I really hit it of with an ISTP I recently became friends with. There’s a lot of honesty/bluntness & genuine feelings from both ends and just the right amount of differences to keep it interesting but not to create any sort of drama or harsh changes :) Really is a one of a kind dynamic. I think the ISTP fell for me but I keep it level headed and want a bit of friendship before anything. I appreciate their company & it feels safe and feeling safe for an INFP as yk is when the real magic starts happening!
The biggest thing ISTPs (like myself) absolutely must do.if they want a better quality of life is to develop their empathy. Empathy is essential. I had to learn that the hard way for eight years and am still not the greatest at it but it has been revealed to me just how flawed I am to not have that ability developed enough. An INFJ woman really put me through the ringer.
My husband is ISTP. I am INFJ. We are so different but balance each other like yin and yang. This video is spot on. My husband is an IT/computer professional but his true love (besides me) is triathlon. Intense! He is definitely that guy you would want on your side if you were stranded on a desert island. He would make a shelter, find food, and start building a boat to get off the island.
Hii! I'm an infj girl and I just feel like istp is my """"ideal type""", so it's so good to read your comment. I live half of my life inside of my own mind and sometimes I get stuck, that's why I think an Istp man would be "perfect" for me, they seen to look so confident and rational 😄
@@Gtjsn As an ISTP, my advice is: talk to him and be straight forward with what you think about him. We have a hard time noticing signs, especially when it comes to people who like us. I don't know if you've tried to talk to him, but if you think he likes you, for his actions or etc, chances are, he really likes you, he just doesn't understand that you feel the same way. That's why he prefers not to waste time with his own feelings (because he thinks that's only him feeling that way) and continue to do what he thinks is most important. Hope this helps
@@angeakamine6697 Hello! I also think that ISTP is my type, even though I'm an INFJ. I was feeling sad about this because further research proved that INFJ and ISTP are NOT compatible at all. I'm glad to find people who agree with me!
@@kizzysnow4392 yep! We're together on that! Actually, I don't like to look at people just by their mbti type, I believe each person is unique on their own way. I like thinker types the best, for being honest. On my personal experience, I think that Intp's would also be an awesome combination with us. Their Intuitive nature go really well with us, since we're also intuitive types. They have amazing insights, and are really inteligent. I think it really depends on us to make it work or not, if an Infj is really mature and have a good sense of rationality on their feelings, they can have a great comunication with istp, while, on the other hand, a mature istp would be more open about their feelings, assuming the responsability to deal with their vulnerabilities instead of just avoid them. Well, besides that, I would Say that I'm really between Entps and Istps, which lead me into Intps, and on my personal experience, infj and intp can get along reaaaaally well, almost like soulmates. The key for this relationship would be similiar to the istpxinfj thing that I've mentioned before, Infj will need to be more direct and rational on the way they express their feelings, while Intp would need to also be more open to dialogue about their feelings, their weakness. It can be hard, but has a great possibility for both of them to grow stronger together.
Im an INFJ and my boyfriend is an ISTP. We knew eachother for 5 years prior to dating. Shockingly, he was very subtle about his interest in me at first (he's shy). I didnt pick up on his advances, so he got impatient and messaged me one day and said: "i feel an undeniable spark between us, we'd be perfect together, let's go on a date." Lmao. I loved how honest and forward he was. Weve been together 1 year now. He's been very patient with me and thats something i will always appreciate about him. As an INFJ im very ominous, hesitant, and a tad sensitive....but he accepts me for who i am...mostly. He just calls me "special" a lot lmao. I can count on him to get us places. His mind is a map. His memory is pristine. He knows a lot about everything. Hes good at fixing things. If we were ever stranded on an island id have full trust in him. But we really are opposites. Like yin and yang. My strengths are his weaknesses and my weaknesses are his strengths. Guess that makes us a good team.
I'm an enfp & my friend is an istp, when i text him "I want to cry" he will immediately answer "Why" and if i say that i don't want to tell him then he will spam me with "What? What is it? Tell me what is it". A minutes later i would already on the phone crying my heart out with him answering all of my question(everything that makes me sad) with honesty that somehow can make me laugh(in a good way that i can feel okay about myself). I think once we can get how they see world and make them understand too how we see world, they will be the sweetest person that we can rely on.
They need to get a feeling for you first, so give them the chance to observe you from a safe place, like the corner of a room, from where they can see and hear you. At least this was happening before I started a conversation with my ISTP-Ex. He was then at first immitating the conversation I had with his uncle right beforehand - to which he had listened carefully (without me even noticing), then he started showing me stuff like the chemical elements on his apple watch. 😄 I immediately had a crush on him. 😍
"Be straight-forward" *Me thinking how in 2017 I told him straight to his face that I liked him and that he will like me too if he didn't already* We've been together ever since.
Actual conversation with ISTP coworker: Me: How would you respond if a girl asks, “does this dress make me look fat?” Him: “It’s not the dress.” Me: “Bro!” 🤣 Though we don’t always see eye to eye, I appreciate the straightforwardness from ISTPs. They definitely aren’t the ones who beat around the bush!
ISTP give sollutions that work not sollution that care about what society think should be done so affiliative people don"t always appreciate that ISTPs also like their freedom, they are childish about what they want but they are responsible with the kind of thing they execute with others, they appreciate people who can find a middle ground between getting them what they want and having a minimum negative outvomes rather than someone giving them "an exciting" experience... that was just a stereotype and we shouldn't abuse of those since they alienate other more mature types... ISTPs, just like INTPs are driven by a sense of need of emotional stability in others, they lack internal emotional conflict because any problem is solvable with a good thinking process, logic, realistic views of truth... so they don't understand the struggle still they care about it deeply, way deeper than their robotic sense of solving lets on to others (value this about them and they'll get on another level of mature with you) I swear this community doesn't read to save a life so why am I even writting ? T_T
im a istp girl, and i really have problems with dramas or paranoid people who try to find a deep reason for everything, like...im being straightforward, but people still call me “mysterious”. And because I am like that, the normal thing would be to avoid the feelers and relate to the T’s but... I still prefer the F’s for relationships, i just wish they were more direct
Ok, I would like to add a quote from a song of Attack on Titan. "The world is simple and that's why it is complex." This can be considered a good metaphor for ISTPs. I would like to give an example regarding the "nerdy and sporty" thing. As you can see on my channel, the recent meme I've made [No promotion intended] is a fusion of coding and JoJo. Do you want to add any additional points?
@@fridaal634 idk about your bf, but I have a really hard time expressing my feelings. I used to date people who I could relate to, most of them thinkers, so I didn’t have to deal w the “drama”. but that’s just in theory, is actually harder to keep a relation if both are bad dealing w feelings. so in my case, when i first date a F, it was so much easier and fun. The way we think and feel is different, and discover & explore that in a relation is fantastic (sometimes it leads to argues, but still amazing). Maybe is different with other T’s, but ig istp’s likes adventures, and date a feeler is definitely one lol
I'm an INFJ and I also prefer T types in relationships. It's definitely more difficult with them but I can't think of being with a feeler romantically even though most of my friends are feelers. My father is an ISTP. When it comes to close relationships (even if it's mentorship), he pretty much always prefers F types even though they're obviously more troublesome for him 😂 he says he likes people who are trusting and open. He has a lot of acquaintances who are thinkers and he gets along with them too but he's usually not close with them emotionally.
F's are indirect because their mind can be a chaotic mess. Just let them calm down and slowly sort it out. The more matured an f is,the easier it is. - enfp
Nerdy and sporty? I like that! Being prepared for anything is priceless. Living in the moment is thrilling. Seeing through the smoke and mirrors is chilling.
“They like to cut through that stuff, figuratively and sometimes literally.” 🤣 I don’t really agree with wanting people to hide their emotions or come off unemotional. I don’t mind when someone wants to rant or cry on my shoulder. I’m just not going to listen from a place of empathy, I’m trying to figure out why someone feels the way they do. If they aren’t giving me information that I can analyze in that way I may feel harassed a little bit. I can find the underlying logic and root cause through emotional expression, it doesn’t really make a difference if it’s there or not (it’s that cutting through/clarity thing you mentioned). I only try to fix a problem if I feel pressure to by the person or the situation. I’m really just concerned with understanding. If someone asks my advice or opinion I’m very aware that it’s just my opinion. It’s the other person’s responsibility to fix their problems and decide what is best for them and they don’t have to agree with me or do what I suggest. I also don’t really want my emotions to stay neutral or agree with not being comfortable being happy or any strong emotion. It would be weird to not change your emotions when the situation changes. I don’t really get exhausted by changing moods, I find that tends to be more of an Fi thing. Actually the easiest way to seduce me personally would be to acknowledge my emotions and make it easier for me to talk about them. We really aren’t robots I promise.
My biggest problem with the emotions is when people are undisciplined and chaotic with them. Its the emotional rollercoaster that makes me want to turn around and walk away. If someone has a stong, authentic, emotional state, its a joy to watch. I have a good friend whos an ISFP. The joy on his face when something tickles his Fi is fun to be around.
“I will listen to you all night, on our Patreon page”. 😂😂😂. This video was spot on! Being a shoulder to cry on is unbearably uncomfortable, although I would still be that for someone I care about if they need it... but I wouldn’t be able to do that on any kind of frequent basis, I would feel like I need to get out of there.
Yes definitely, being an intermittent shoulder is as good as it's going to get. I can't resist the shameless promotion of things we're working on sometimes...my bad ~ Nathan
When I was younger I didn't understand why people couldnt be direct as I am, but as I've gotten older, I realized some people simply do not and cannot communicate that way, and I've learned to respect that. People can package the message in whatever way they feel comfortable, but the moment I think they're being manipulative, passive-aggressive or trying to get me to read their mind, I'm pulling the plug. The one thing I can say about myself is while I may not be polite, I'm kind; meaning, I won't tell you empty things to make you feel nice, but I'll do whatever I can to help you become better.
Most men don't want a woman to help them, it's hard for an istp woman to feel properly needed in a relationship as it seems most men want the emotional counter balance (even when they say they don't). And at the same time it's hard for an istp woman to let go of her independence and let a man help her, so in return, both of them at times end up feeling that the other doesn't need them. At least personally that's my experience, that my need to help wasn't appreciated and my independency was unwanted or annoying. meh... relationships are tough work.
My last long term relationship was with an ISTP. We got along great and we are still good friends. He was easy to deal with and helped me work on emotional balance and logic. -ENFJ
I’m a INFP-T engaged to an ISTP-A. ... Help 😂 (Honestly, though, it has been working just fine. In 8 years, we only had 1 fight and it was on the first year of dating.)
Help number 2!!!! Same as above... (istp here), my partner struggles to express what he's feeling sometimes... even struggles to say what is, exactly, the idealistic thing they thought all the time!!! He says "ow, it's hard to say... i can fell it, see it, in many ways, in various scenarios, but i can't put in words, sorry". (imagine how i get MAD when this happens...lol)
Oh you did the 16personalities test I see, this page mistypes u rlly often so better learn the functions properly or do other tests like Sakinorva... My Infj and Isfp friends got all mistyped as Inpfs so theres a big possibility that u arent an Infp and ur husband neither an Istp
2:40 Oh my goodness, this literally made me cry of unbelieve and excitement :D As an ENFP, it’s very hard for me to understand that feeling „just neutral“ could possibly be a life goal. My husband always tells me so and it‘s made me go crazy sometimes because I feel like he’s missing out on so much joy and settling early for a boring/„just okay“ type of life.. 😮 At the same time I love how his perspective can ground me and help me be content with the here and now instead of always striving for improvement in EVERY area of my life at the same time :D So thank you for explaining, this helps a lot😅
Thank you for making such an accurate video about ISTPs, I feel like you understand us very well. So often I see videos or articles about ISTPs that say that we do not understand or feel what others are feeling. I mean we do not have some form of autism. It is more that we do not choose to engage with someones feeling because we are not interested, not close enough to that person or simply because we are very introverted and it drains our energy for empathy and then problem-solving or feeling-solving ;-) which btw we may apply to any situation of 'too much' happiness or sadness... and if we are ONE thing we are an efficient type of people that also prefer quality over quantity.
Haha I loved that ending adressed to the ISTPs watching. I first had to smile because of the callback to the beginning of the video, then thought about it for a brief moment and came to the conclusion that yea it is the logical thing to do a subscribed. Its a stereotype that ISTPs are stubborn and not easily convinced but in fact its very easy to convince us or change our opinion if you just give us good logical reasoning and facts.
I genuinely LOVE Ti bluntness. I think thats why weirdly me and my istp friend enjoy my emotional venting. She knows I have no expectations of how she should react and I don't require any forced comfort so she's free to express whatever views she has, even if they'll make me feel worse. I think my infp need for authenticity also really enjoys knowing shes not going to filter her words for any ulterior motive or simply even to make me feel good. Inferior Fe is kinda sad sometimes, she claims she has "SO much love to give" yet is one of the least affectionate people i know lol because she doesn't really know how to express it.
Maaaan I'm an ENTP and that line about thinkers sometimes liking neutral emotions more than happiness hit really hard 😂😭🙏 Also ISTPs are just the best. Some people might not like their bluntness but when I'm stuck in a ne-fe loop, ti does a really good job of breaking it and bringing me back down to earth. It just seems like tert-fe, and especially ne-fe means I can never really tell when somebody's playing games so I'm always wary and end up neglecting my ti-aux because it's not "acceptable" and might make me accidentally lose the "game", but that just makes the loop worse. Of course getting hit with blunt criticism stings for a little bit, it's always so so refreshing to know I'm on honest terms with somebody.
ISTP here: I have an interesting tool for my other ISTP family out there that, I’ve discovered somewhat unintentionally, has been very helpful in “dealing with people” specifically the feely side of them. Using, the strengths our way of interacting with the world, I think it was dominantly extroverted sensing, I found a way that helps me gauge a person with fairly high accuracy in terms of knowing how they feel and what it happens to be about. Its not perfect, and it still requires direct input from the individual more often than not, but it does simplify interactions and take alot of the guesswork out. It took me a few years, and its a little hard to explain in quantifiable terms, but basically i learned all the subtleties and nuances of body language. I basically said and did things eliciting responses from people on a daily basis and categorized the responses to fit under certain umbrella/specific criteria such as mood, shifts in appearance etc. Things like the incline of the head, where their eyes look, the slump of they’re shoulders, do they make eye contact, is their voice different sounding, are they speaking in fewer or less complex words, are they actively not engaging anymore, am I trying to pull a response from them, and hundreds of other little things. This has been surprisingly effective though and I can almost instantly tell when something is wrong with someone and exactly when that shift occurs, more often than not I can usually tell why too. This also bizarrely applies to texting as people text differently when they’re feeling certain ways vs “normally.” Its not a perfect system and it does depend a bit on how well you know an individual. Maybe this is nothing new to you guys and you all have been doing this right along, but I never see anything like it mentioned in any ISTP vs/interacting with any other personality type videos or convos. So, here it is, hope its helpful :)
@@Marses970 works with everyone, just more trial and error for some types than others. Having a firm understanding of psychology has helped this process greatly too
@@lovewho Then I will consider your words with as much balance and honesty as possible, and I assure you, they will be non-slimy in nature. On the plus side, INTPs tend not to share their emotions in the first place, so it seems like ISTPs and INTPs would get along just fine.
You can include your feelings, but if we don’t know each other well and you seem to be crying for anyone’s attention, however sad you are, you’re not getting anything from me lol. Just tell me what you need from me emotionally (“I wanna rant to you for a sec” “I’m feelin’ a bit down rn”) and I’m on board. INTPs are pretty authentic in my experience, so we usually get on great. It’s more a matter of how long I can go in a battle of wits with another Ti user who is equally stubborn and equally witty.
Honestly, I am an INFP with minor INTP and ENFP traits and my boyfriend is an ISTP. I understand that emotions are not his strong suit, so it's easy to keep most of my baggage together. But whenever I have a personal problem that I can't find the solution to it, is so refreshing to check in with him about it and see if he is available to help me find a solution. His advice is always so clear and it helps clear the fog and the overthinking when he slaps down the most direct solution. ISTP's are really lovely people if you give them the space they need and provide them with things to fix. 💖✨ I love my ISTP. 😊
I am also an INFP with a new ISTP close friend and he’s very helpful and has a grounding effect. Makes me feel safe and really cared for ! He fell for me VERY fast it seems like but I am more detached but very soft at the same time .. I do like to be friends for a while before anything (As an INFP who has a strong moral compass) !
ISTP here with an ISTJ wife. We got together by accident and then found that we were easily comfortable in each others lives and stayed together (26 years so far). I love that she will give me space to be me as well as listening to my random excitement of the month fascinations. She likes that I am calm, strong in a crisis and have learned to tell when she wants to have a problem solved or just to listen to her vent about the world (learning took me a little while).
Telling us exactly what you want or what the situation *actually* is is like half the fucking work. I’ve gotten into the habit of having to ask more questions until finally getting the message because people are so concerned about wording over clear communication.
Even tho I’m an ISTP, I hate sports of any kind. I’m good with indoor games and just fun games in general, but sports are big no-no’s for me. Other than that this is really accurate
Best way to seduce an ISTP? Just look at them. And, KISS... as in, Keep It Simple Stupid Or else, they will tell you to STFU. Hubby is a Libra ISTP. Yes, they do like neutral, and that's been so weird because I prefer to be happy. - INFP
OMG, an INFP with an ISTP!! I'm an INFP dating an ISTP and trying to figure out why he's not communicating his feelings with me. I always feel like I need closure with him but he never budges. I'm scared he lost feelings or something even though he says he still likes me. Maybe I'm being too harsh?? What's the best way to go about this through your own personal experience? (sorry for asking for advice but I really need it lol)
@@Botatochicken ISTP are not feelers or fans of emotions if anything they’re deff the type to supress them which is why they’re attracted to the opposite but don’t expect them to be at the same wavelength as you because as an INFP we are prob the ones who feel things the deepest of all personality types :) We need the words and affirmations but they’re more the touchy and show you instead .. if he’s still there than he still likes you lol
And INFP here who just became friends with an ISTP and he fell for me by like the 2nd day talking which is shocking because he didn’t seem like the type to fall fast but somehow I made the impossible happen for him 😅
I love being at a neutral, flat emotional state. I do not like the extreme fluctuations of emotions it tends to be draining. I feel the best when I’m not particularly feeling anything but taking in all of the life around me simultaneously but just being less that an active participant.
As an ISTP, I actually am very talkative with my close friends, and people I overall like and know well. But if a person doesn’t let me say a word, or isn’t listening to me attentively, I don’t feel appreciated and will less likely open up to or befriend that person. Even though I’m an introvert, I like when people listen to me attentively
ISTPs personalities are so attractive to me. They are logical, which is such an important thing in every kind of relationship. It's nice knowing that you can talk to someone straightforwardly instead of just leaving the other person to just assume your needs, what you want, etc. by not simply explaining. They are the definition of maturity. Although it can be tricky to get close to them because you can't let them know things like that( your needs and what you like) when you first meet them as you are strangers. And they might seem distant, too serious and overall strange to some people. They are awesome nevertheless - an INTP
Perhaps your attributes don't match with his expectations... as an ISTP i could say that it's perfectly normal be wonder by someone i've just meet for the first time, but mainly it has to be outstanding expression ...which it turns rare if your surroundings are boring or too common or homogenous.
So this means me and my ex are both istp hahahahaha no wonder we broke up we are just same level headed chill and if no one will ever speak no one bothers to speak omg
This information has proven to be extremely beneficial for someone like me who identifies as an INTP. Thanks to this newfound knowledge, I am now equipped to engage and connect with an ISTP uncle in a captivating manner. (👹)
I've been binge watching "What makes an ISTP" videos. I've checked all the boxes, and I feel like I just came out of the closet. My heart feels super light! ：）
I'm not emotionless, but I do think that humans need both logical and psychological understanding to solve their problems. That's why I'm really open about communication but only with my really close family or people
My husband is an istp. This seems very accurate. I am an intj. We have wonderful deep meaningful conversations. He does get overwhelmed with my forward thinking sometimes.
As an ISTP, I hate it when people tell me about their unsolvable pfoblems. Like my classmate that tells me about his alchoholic mother. I am always there to listen him, but that can be REALLY exhausting.
Just subscribed to the chanel because he had made a pretty good point: it is free content. Never thought of it that way, but it is so true. Yep an ISTP is typing
Thank you for doing this video series. It's super helpful for writing romance--after all, I don't want to write the same thing over and over! Boring! So yes, thank you! *Quietly slips away into the shadows of cyberspace*
I appreciate the ability to cut through the social crap however being one those people who need an emotional connection when it comes to people so when someone is as free flowing as a block of reinforced concrete I get triggered and deeply disappointed. Humans are strange indeed especially the socials that come out as fake and superficial.
I know this was posted years ago, but I only just found it today. Thank you for helping me understand my ISTP husband better. This video had such valuable insight for me, and I appreciate it.
So the other day wife gives my money before heading into the convenience store - she says “Child #1 wants to buy something” Child #1 accompanies me into the store “Child #2” waits in the car with Mom. Child #1 buys something with that money and accompanies me back to the car. Once returning to the car wife gets very mad and asks why I didn’t buy anything for Child #2 as well. In my mind I was doing exactly what was asked of me - in her mind I was not considering the feelings of Child #2. In the end I apologized to Child #2 and told wife I made a mistake and should have considered Child #2. (However I thought wife should have been a bit more clear in her communication.) Normally I can get out of my own head enough to catch this in time (think of things that are not explicitly expressed or other’s potential needs).However, I had a lot on my mind and it was directly after work. Anyway, this anecdote which exemplifies a desire for explicit clear communication- (and maybe the fact that I’ve worked in I.T. and technical support for 20 years) made me think maybe I’m an ISTP. Anyway, just felt like sharing. Thanks as always for the great content!
ISTP here. I may have cackled a bit when you said "Avoid and Embrace" at 2:18 My girlfriend is an ISFJ and she loves musicals... Yeah. I'm not a fan of those... lol Fortunately she also likes Leslie Nielson movies like The Naked Gun and Airplane! LOL But we always stop and listen to each other to make sure we're on the same page with small things or big things. She's emotionally intelligent in that she gives me the room to think and then speak and I've had to practice at telling her what my train of thought is because sometimes she may not understand how I got to a certain conclusion. That's something that has gotten easier for me just from being with her!
Spot on. My tolerance for bullshit is low at the best of times and I've been told I'm a little blunt about calling people out on it - especially when I'm tired! I'm an Anaesthetist and you may be interested to know that 1/3rd of our Post-Grad syllabus is Physics/Clinical measurement. There are a lot of ISTPs and INTPs in my Department, which figures, since we're the geeks of the medical world. We also mostly all like running, cycling and triathlon.
Istp here, really loved the "nerdy and sporty" part. I like nerd things because I see them as something completely new to learn and master (such as videogames) while sports are just 1% theory (which I hate) and 99% hands-on action which is exactly what I look for (I'm a boxer, this should tell u something haha).
I love both the theory and the hands on action, one of my favourite video game genres is fighting games who let you figure a lot of stuff out after learning the basics, everyone has some skills which they are good and other skills which they are completely shit so it's your job to create a playstyle that's unique to you, and you can choose to balance out the weaknesses with the strengths or to double down with your strong points The characters are also normally have very depth in them, so after years there are still things you can learn about your character
The two types of ISTPs I run in to: ones that are already hoping to find someone who will help them embellish their Fe (in which case they are disappointed very quickly), and ones that are just grateful to be listened to by someone who can easily follow along - even if it means I have to pick on them later for their rigidity about the idea of... Well... Exploration... They like to find an idea that works and bee-line for it; even if there are more ideas just over the horizon that are just as useful and dare I say more universally appealing - if you're willing to put in the time; which ISTPs would often rather not. That being said, they're exceptionally honest people and surprisingly good listeners if you're discussing a real issue or concern, and their advice is pretty solid. The best ISTPs in my life have learned not to resent our differences and they fit pretty squarely into the friend zone. It only gets complicated if I meet a wife of theirs who clearly wasn't chosen for her brains. I think they definitely need someone smart and outgoing
And with enough Fe to draw them out and engage them with. As an ISTP I struggle with Fi dominant partners or Nx / Tx dominant since I can't really understand their feelings well. Fe dominant types may be full of drama and sometimes annoying but are more "transparent" in their sentiments toward someone (if they are not faking it or being manipulative, something they may be really good at).
With inferior Fe as an INTP I understand that calm, neutral emotions are best. No matter what, intense feelings can get easily overwhelming and we often ignore, and are not in touch with, our feelings and the feelings of others. When someone asks if I'm happy it's a very complicated question because it requires me to start paying attention to my Fe. Often calmness and neutral emotions so my Ti can work uninhibited is the best. So I guess that would be my equivalent to happy.
I can be in touch with my deep emotions, but if I stay there too long, it’s not good for me, leads to mental chaos. I do love the peaceful mental realm best.
You know what, this is amazing. I didn't even realise that it was true but it explains my life so accurately in a way that I can now put it to others - the bit at 2:40 is so spot on, I can't even tell you. Thanks!
Edge Bot Same. I think everyone’s slightly annoying until they prove otherwise. My friends have noticed that about me as well. I wonder what that says about me as a person. -ISTP
If I already know that my interaction with someone is going to be a one time deal I'm not too keen on getting to know them. Doesn't mean I don't like them just that we're not gonna see each other again so why put in the effort.
Fellow ISTP here. Here's a cheat code:
Feelers, if you want an ISTP shoulder to cry on, tell them up front that you just want to talk/complain and the act of listening will make you feel better. ISTPs are problem solvers and they do care, they just don't know how to fix the situation. If you tell them, "I had a bad day, can I just vent? I don't want any advice right now, I just want you to listen." your ISTP will be like "okay, listening will help with the problem. Okay, I'll do that and the problem will get better."
this is spot on. if u just talk to us about problems our default position will be problem here > remove waffle > solve problem > advise.
but as u say if u categorically state I just need some one to listen.. we'll find it a lot easier not to advise. and we are great listeners
Thanks !I can use this on my husband!Im an INFJ.
waltstrika actually it really works on my bf lol. I say what i want to say and what i want him to do because he cant get any signal and morse code lollll
Couldn’t have said it better myself, my gosh
Very right 👍👍
"ISTPs classify people as either emotionally dramatic or chill"
Agree. I try my best to understand emotionally dramatic people but it drains my energy really quickly
@@LM-yx9hp yh
Yup.
Like youre either one or the other mate. I also tend to have more extreme conflict with emotionally dramatic people
"TELL ISTPS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT!"
I hope people really understand the fact that I can't read their minds, So they have to SAY what they want from me!
I agree With tht.Ppl jus tryin 2 expect I can read their mind and play their queastion game With them. Like why? Just tell me what you want.
Exactly 💯
I fourth this. - INTP
YES OMG
I had to learn to read people and now that I read them lile an open book it really pisses me off how most of the people are fake and manipulative. I can not be fooled.
An ISTP is focused primarily on narrowing down and condensing details to reveal underlying fundamental truth. Everything else is auxiliary.
This makes sense. Both Ti and Ni have that tendency so having them both working in tandem would intensify that desire ~ Nathan
Istp organize and simplify details to get truth. Everything else doesn't matter. Your welcome YT
Being logical is the key to every healthy relationship. You are the coolest and your perception of everything is just... Right. You are really intelligent and i hope that you never forget it just because most people don't get you and you feel like an outsider.
This is so true
This is so true. It applies to all areas in my life - work, learning different things, understanding relationships, even the process of becoming self aware.
Spot on with every point. I think it's worth reiterating that ISTPs are genuine, playful, compassionate, and far more sensitive than we're given credit for. You just have to come at us with zero ulterior motives or emotional window dressing. You want to date an ISTP? Tell them you want to date. You want an ISTP to emotionally support you in a thing? Tell them specifically that you need emotional support for a thing. It's literally that easy, yet somehow people are extremely reluctant to be so straightforward in what they want from others. It never ceases to amaze me that people refuse to clearly state what they want, and then blame the ISTP for not being able to read their mind.
Great comment, I like the "zero ulterior motives or emotional window dressing" line! ~ Nathan
I’ve noticed that I don’t always communicate with others the way I want them to communicate with me. I dress things up to be better accepted, especially advice. I’ll acknowledge the emotions first, then use my Se to wait for an opening where I don’t think they’ll reject my advice. My ex-girlfriend eventually learned to appreciate my advice, but quite often wanted some emotional feedback and support, rather than a logical answer to help her get to a better place and avoid the problem in the future. Especially because we were long distance, I was unable to give her that support through physical touch or a sense of presence which I much prefer for communicating emotionally, and did a horrendous job of trying to communicate that support and emotion through words and voice.
Emily Jones That is dead on. Be straight forward and don't play games. I once dated a girl who would do neither of those things and then called me an idiot because I couldn't read her mind. Things were never what they seemed to be with her. It was passive-aggressive nonsense. Needless to say, the relationship failed.
@@VTdarkangel We may have dated the same girl. This sounds all too familiar
I always thought i had some mental issues for being the way i am, an ISTP, recently i did a personality test and now i'm seeing all this videos, and i feel so much more relieved, i thought that i was some kind of psycho or something, cause i never found out someone like me, now it's nice to relate with all this comments
I'm an ENFP and sometimes it's a wonder my ISTP husband and I have been together as long as we have. We worked together and I was immediately attracted to him. I would try to come up with a bunch of different excuses to talk to him. Dropped subtle hints, which turned into very obvious hints, until one day I just bit the bullet and said "I've been flirting with you non stop for almost 6 months, are we doing this or not?"
His response was, "Yeah, sure."
And we've been together ever since.
I'm in a similar situation! I'm also an enfp who has a major crush on a guy I'm pretty sure is an istp.
Only, we aren't in a relationship. We "flirt" a lot but I always second guess his motives because I have a hard time thinking that someone could actually have a crush on me😂
I sort of stopped liking him about a year ago and texted him that I used to like him but everything he did and said was making me rethink. He sounded surprised (it was a text though, so not sure how he actually reacted) so I clarified that I no longer liked him. He said "okay good, because that would be weird." I think he was putting on a front though because I'm 75% sure he liked me. Now I like him again but I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I'm too forward because I crave connection.
Anyways sorry for the rant, I just think it's cool that an enfp-istp relationship actually worked out
@@gretals9782 my best friend is an ENFP I'm an istp. Just tell the person straight up how you feel and don't be offended by their response because they'll try to be as honest as possible.
@@alexsearltea1746 dont stress about it. And i definitely recommend you just say it. She will sense something is up.
@@gretals9782 Hey girl if u crave connection an istp love interest may not be the type for you...given that they aren't the most romantic type in the mbti
@@alexsearltea1746 you all are friends right...so just bring it up casually in conversation. Talk generally about relationships and 'feel out' her answers from them u can gage when and how to reveal your feelings. Remember casual and low key...no pressure or emotion...so don't do it in a romantic setting please...wish u luck
"ISTPs aren't typically a shoulder to cry on. They'll listen, but will then try to solve your problem." Generally true, but I would add that I've learned sometimes just being the shoulder solves the problem for that person. It is because I'm older that I understand that, but I'm still very selective for whom I do that (primarily my wife, but there are some others) because it gets annoying and exhausting quickly. I've learned that if they need it, then I let them cry it out first so they can get that emotional release, because it makes it easier afterwards to actually set about looking at the problem and what can be done about it. I didn't used to be this way. I used to be the classic "stop crying and do something about it" person. It wasn't until my own meltdown hit me that I understood it.
Very well said. I like this interpretation actually that the shoulder can indeed be the solution sometimes ~ Nathan
Thanks for sharing that great advice! I need to wrap my head around that too! (And keep it in mind).
VTdarkangel I have learned the same thing but it has taken all my life. It’s still natural for me to propose a solution so I have to actively curb that urge once I realize the person just wants to vent.
@@liquidantonym6322 It is for me, too. I still want to immediately look for a solution. I have make myself actively look at the person and their behavior and listen to what they say and how they say it to figure out if they need to vent. Usually only takes a few seconds, but it isn't instinctive. As I said before, it took me having my own emotional meltdown (or tidal wave if you want to use Dave and Shan's description) before I truly understood it.
Had a horrible time with an high school friend. She was a little bit high strung and really wanted to overachieve academically and whatnot. Being the young naive ISTP that I was, I tried and failed to cheer her up and help her but discovered too late that she didn't need help but someone to vent to. Never understood these types and I still find them a little unappealing.
People seem to think we are this very complex mysterious creature that's impossible to figure out, when in fact we are very simple. Just tell us straight up what you want from us. No sugar coating necessary, no beating around the bush needed, don't worry about our feelings. Out with it. Just make sure that what you tell us is actually what you want. Whatever you tell us we will take as a definitive answer.
Yes...I think we are very sensitive sometimes, but In other times, logic kicks in and if people are sincere and direct in what they want to tell us, we are going to take it in a positive way.... And it's really true ,they shouldn't care about our feelings when they tell us these things, cause we tend to be very blunt in our interactions too, so we understand.
Thank you
And Its worse when they don't tell us anything
"we will take as a definitive answer" > this part is VERY important. Don't talk without thinking on what you're stating to an ISTP...
I think ISTPs are the best at combining sensory and intuitive ways of looking at life.
Agreed! ~ Nathan
I think I understand what you mean.
That is if you are referring to an ability to balance the polarizing opposition of objectivity and subjectivity.
As if it's like we can see through someone else's smoke and mirrors in the same manner as looking through the fog and seeing a forest without forsaking the fallen foliage beneath our own feet.
Or better yet, we know how recognize the small details in order to grasp a bigger picture. And we know how to distinguish the subtleties between looking and seeing; or hearing and listening.
Yes! Finally someone who understands that ISTPs aren't just emotionless robot mechanics and actually do care about people they love.
''The best way to seduce someone is to listen to them a lot.
But, someone has to talk''
As an introvert trying to get intimate with another introvert, that line really gets me. 🤣🤣
As an INFP, I love ISTPs, because they frikkin *get it*. They're really kind and genuine without needing lots of conversational fluff or stuff like that. In fact, it's much better this way, because immediately moving to solve the problem someone is dealing with is, in my opinion, a stronger display of kindness than just verbally stating your compassion because society demands you do. It's also more productive, which is great, because I'm naturally not very productive and I'd love to improve that lol.
Also I love the fact we can be blunt around each other and don't mind it. Very liberating- I imagine for both of us.
You hit it right on ! As an INFP I really hit it of with an ISTP I recently became friends with. There’s a lot of honesty/bluntness & genuine feelings from both ends and just the right amount of differences to keep it interesting but not to create any sort of drama or harsh changes :) Really is a one of a kind dynamic. I think the ISTP fell for me but I keep it level headed and want a bit of friendship before anything. I appreciate their company & it feels safe and feeling safe for an INFP as yk is when the real magic starts happening!
The biggest thing ISTPs (like myself) absolutely must do.if they want a better quality of life is to develop their empathy. Empathy is essential. I had to learn that the hard way for eight years and am still not the greatest at it but it has been revealed to me just how flawed I am to not have that ability developed enough. An INFJ woman really put me through the ringer.
My husband is ISTP. I am INFJ. We are so different but balance each other like yin and yang. This video is spot on. My husband is an IT/computer professional but his true love (besides me) is triathlon. Intense! He is definitely that guy you would want on your side if you were stranded on a desert island. He would make a shelter, find food, and start building a boat to get off the island.
Hii! I'm an infj girl and I just feel like istp is my """"ideal type""", so it's so good to read your comment. I live half of my life inside of my own mind and sometimes I get stuck, that's why I think an Istp man would be "perfect" for me, they seen to look so confident and rational 😄
@@Gtjsn As an ISTP, my advice is: talk to him and be straight forward with what you think about him.
We have a hard time noticing signs, especially when it comes to people who like us. I don't know if you've tried to talk to him, but if you think he likes you, for his actions or etc, chances are, he really likes you, he just doesn't understand that you feel the same way. That's why he prefers not to waste time with his own feelings (because he thinks that's only him feeling that way) and continue to do what he thinks is most important.
Hope this helps
@@angeakamine6697 Hello! I also think that ISTP is my type, even though I'm an INFJ. I was feeling sad about this because further research proved that INFJ and ISTP are NOT compatible at all. I'm glad to find people who agree with me!
@@kizzysnow4392 yep! We're together on that!
Actually, I don't like to look at people just by their mbti type, I believe each person is unique on their own way.
I like thinker types the best, for being honest.
On my personal experience, I think that Intp's would also be an awesome combination with us. Their Intuitive nature go really well with us, since we're also intuitive types. They have amazing insights, and are really inteligent.
I think it really depends on us to make it work or not, if an Infj is really mature and have a good sense of rationality on their feelings, they can have a great comunication with istp, while, on the other hand, a mature istp would be more open about their feelings, assuming the responsability to deal with their vulnerabilities instead of just avoid them.
Well, besides that, I would Say that I'm really between Entps and Istps, which lead me into Intps, and on my personal experience, infj and intp can get along reaaaaally well, almost like soulmates. The key for this relationship would be similiar to the istpxinfj thing that I've mentioned before, Infj will need to be more direct and rational on the way they express their feelings, while Intp would need to also be more open to dialogue about their feelings, their weakness.
It can be hard, but has a great possibility for both of them to grow stronger together.
infj myself with an istp. ying and yang for sure
“Strange hybrid between nerdy and sporty” 🎯
My sister is an ISTP. This is so accurate. She is the most blunt person I know. And she is so good at fixing things and making things work.
It's almost creepy how spot on your istp videos are!
Glad to be called creepy in a good way ~ Nathan
Im an INFJ and my boyfriend is an ISTP. We knew eachother for 5 years prior to dating. Shockingly, he was very subtle about his interest in me at first (he's shy). I didnt pick up on his advances, so he got impatient and messaged me one day and said: "i feel an undeniable spark between us, we'd be perfect together, let's go on a date." Lmao. I loved how honest and forward he was. Weve been together 1 year now. He's been very patient with me and thats something i will always appreciate about him. As an INFJ im very ominous, hesitant, and a tad sensitive....but he accepts me for who i am...mostly. He just calls me "special" a lot lmao. I can count on him to get us places. His mind is a map. His memory is pristine. He knows a lot about everything. Hes good at fixing things. If we were ever stranded on an island id have full trust in him. But we really are opposites. Like yin and yang. My strengths are his weaknesses and my weaknesses are his strengths. Guess that makes us a good team.
Is it possible to be INFJ and NOT pick up on someone's interests in you? Are ISTPs normally *that* subtle?
Im an istp women, wish i could send this to a guy i like lol
Right here.
I'm Istp female too 🙋♀️🙆♀️
Just click the share button and then copy link.
Problem solved
mOOD
" I am an istp woman , I can fix things to you instead of flirting , if that's ok to send ma back " send
I'm an enfp & my friend is an istp, when i text him "I want to cry" he will immediately answer "Why" and if i say that i don't want to tell him then he will spam me with "What? What is it? Tell me what is it". A minutes later i would already on the phone crying my heart out with him answering all of my question(everything that makes me sad) with honesty that somehow can make me laugh(in a good way that i can feel okay about myself).
I think once we can get how they see world and make them understand too how we see world, they will be the sweetest person that we can rely on.
Thank you , sincerely, honestly ❤
4:32 “my advice trying to seduce anyone is to listen a lot, but the problem there is that someone has to talk”
Let me know if you solve that one, would be useful info ~ Nathan
They need to get a feeling for you first, so give them the chance to observe you from a safe place, like the corner of a room, from where they can see and hear you.
At least this was happening before I started a conversation with my ISTP-Ex. He was then at first immitating the conversation I had with his uncle right beforehand - to which he had listened carefully (without me even noticing), then he started showing me stuff like the chemical elements on his apple watch. 😄 I immediately had a crush on him. 😍
Give istp time . They will talk and talk a lot once they are comfortable with you .
INTP Here’s a blanket, you look cold.
ISTP: I’m training for survivor times. I’m not cold.
INTP: Ok, ttyl
ISTP: Bye, and leave blanket.
"Be straight-forward"
*Me thinking how in 2017 I told him straight to his face that I liked him and that he will like me too if he didn't already*
We've been together ever since.
Actual conversation with ISTP coworker:
Me: How would you respond if a girl asks, “does this dress make me look fat?”
Him: “It’s not the dress.”
Me: “Bro!” 🤣
Though we don’t always see eye to eye, I appreciate the straightforwardness from ISTPs. They definitely aren’t the ones who beat around the bush!
Oh wow thats hilarious! ISTPs seem to be the Kings and Queens of the one liner ~ Nathan
Love Who - True that! I cracked up laughing at your *Thou shall not bobcat* line the other day 😂🤣
@@sammyj1183 I'm working on my other 9 commandments ~ Nathan
My mom always asks me the same question and that is also exactly how I respond to it.
Sensei W 🤣😂
ISTP give sollutions that work not sollution that care about what society think should be done so affiliative people don"t always appreciate that
ISTPs also like their freedom, they are childish about what they want but they are responsible with the kind of thing they execute with others, they appreciate people who can find a middle ground between getting them what they want and having a minimum negative outvomes rather than someone giving them "an exciting" experience... that was just a stereotype and we shouldn't abuse of those since they alienate other more mature types...
ISTPs, just like INTPs are driven by a sense of need of emotional stability in others, they lack internal emotional conflict because any problem is solvable with a good thinking process, logic, realistic views of truth... so they don't understand the struggle still they care about it deeply, way deeper than their robotic sense of solving lets on to others (value this about them and they'll get on another level of mature with you)
I swear this community doesn't read to save a life so why am I even writting ? T_T
"Driven by a sense of need of emotional stability" - this is excellent. This does seem to be a very high priority for certain types ~ Nathan
...because you had ideas in your head and wanted to share. 😛
Looney Tik
sharing is caring yeah 😂
soooooo accurate
im a istp girl, and i really have problems with dramas or paranoid people who try to find a deep reason for everything, like...im being straightforward, but people still call me “mysterious”. And because I am like that, the normal thing would be to avoid the feelers and relate to the T’s but... I still prefer the F’s for relationships, i just wish they were more direct
Ok, I would like to add a quote from a song of Attack on Titan. "The world is simple and that's why it is complex."
This can be considered a good metaphor for ISTPs.
I would like to give an example regarding the "nerdy and sporty" thing. As you can see on my channel, the recent meme I've made [No promotion intended] is a fusion of coding and JoJo.
Do you want to add any additional points?
May I ask why you prefer feelers for relationships? I'm curious because I have an ISTP bf, and sometimes I really wonder why haha (I'm an INFJ)
@@fridaal634 idk about your bf, but I have a really hard time expressing my feelings. I used to date people who I could relate to, most of them thinkers, so I didn’t have to deal w the “drama”. but that’s just in theory, is actually harder to keep a relation if both are bad dealing w feelings. so in my case, when i first date a F, it was so much easier and fun.
The way we think and feel is different, and discover & explore that in a relation is fantastic (sometimes it leads to argues, but still amazing). Maybe is different with other T’s, but ig istp’s likes adventures, and date a feeler is definitely one lol
I'm an INFJ and I also prefer T types in relationships. It's definitely more difficult with them but I can't think of being with a feeler romantically even though most of my friends are feelers.
My father is an ISTP. When it comes to close relationships (even if it's mentorship), he pretty much always prefers F types even though they're obviously more troublesome for him 😂 he says he likes people who are trusting and open. He has a lot of acquaintances who are thinkers and he gets along with them too but he's usually not close with them emotionally.
F's are indirect because their mind can be a chaotic mess. Just let them calm down and slowly sort it out. The more matured an f is,the easier it is. - enfp
Nerdy and sporty? I like that!
Being prepared for anything is priceless.
Living in the moment is thrilling.
Seeing through the smoke and mirrors is chilling.
“They like to cut through that stuff, figuratively and sometimes literally.” 🤣
I don’t really agree with wanting people to hide their emotions or come off unemotional. I don’t mind when someone wants to rant or cry on my shoulder. I’m just not going to listen from a place of empathy, I’m trying to figure out why someone feels the way they do. If they aren’t giving me information that I can analyze in that way I may feel harassed a little bit. I can find the underlying logic and root cause through emotional expression, it doesn’t really make a difference if it’s there or not (it’s that cutting through/clarity thing you mentioned). I only try to fix a problem if I feel pressure to by the person or the situation. I’m really just concerned with understanding. If someone asks my advice or opinion I’m very aware that it’s just my opinion. It’s the other person’s responsibility to fix their problems and decide what is best for them and they don’t have to agree with me or do what I suggest.
I also don’t really want my emotions to stay neutral or agree with not being comfortable being happy or any strong emotion. It would be weird to not change your emotions when the situation changes. I don’t really get exhausted by changing moods, I find that tends to be more of an Fi thing. Actually the easiest way to seduce me personally would be to acknowledge my emotions and make it easier for me to talk about them. We really aren’t robots I promise.
so true~
My biggest problem with the emotions is when people are undisciplined and chaotic with them. Its the emotional rollercoaster that makes me want to turn around and walk away.
If someone has a stong, authentic, emotional state, its a joy to watch. I have a good friend whos an ISFP. The joy on his face when something tickles his Fi is fun to be around.
I don't know why I'm watching this..
I'm an ISTP 👁️👄👁️
ISTP master race, we date our own kind xD
“I will listen to you all night, on our Patreon page”. 😂😂😂. This video was spot on! Being a shoulder to cry on is unbearably uncomfortable, although I would still be that for someone I care about if they need it... but I wouldn’t be able to do that on any kind of frequent basis, I would feel like I need to get out of there.
Yes definitely, being an intermittent shoulder is as good as it's going to get. I can't resist the shameless promotion of things we're working on sometimes...my bad ~ Nathan
Love Who that’s how you get subscribers, you kinda have to do it! But you are funny and I appreciate it.
I love when you explain behaviours I do without knowing then I immediately pipe up and go “hey I do that” then feel dumb.
SAME -ISTP
When I was younger I didn't understand why people couldnt be direct as I am, but as I've gotten older, I realized some people simply do not and cannot communicate that way, and I've learned to respect that. People can package the message in whatever way they feel comfortable, but the moment I think they're being manipulative, passive-aggressive or trying to get me to read their mind, I'm pulling the plug. The one thing I can say about myself is while I may not be polite, I'm kind; meaning, I won't tell you empty things to make you feel nice, but I'll do whatever I can to help you become better.
Most men don't want a woman to help them, it's hard for an istp woman to feel properly needed in a relationship as it seems most men want the emotional counter balance (even when they say they don't). And at the same time it's hard for an istp woman to let go of her independence and let a man help her, so in return, both of them at times end up feeling that the other doesn't need them. At least personally that's my experience, that my need to help wasn't appreciated and my independency was unwanted or annoying. meh... relationships are tough work.
Aw I hope someone will be able to see you and appreciate who you are
Dude yes! I can take care of myself, but apparently I'm not supposed to..? The world is weird.
INTJ female here and same.
I am an ISTP and am *so* appreciative you make these videos for us!
Anytime! ~ Nathan
Jokes on you. I subscribed a long time ago.
Well played ~ Nathan
When he said, "Happy doesn't equal good. Calm neutral waters is preferred."
I felt that 😉👉🤣
My last long term relationship was with an ISTP. We got along great and we are still good friends. He was easy to deal with and helped me work on emotional balance and logic. -ENFJ
I'm also an ENFJ currently dating an ISTP, out of curiosity. May I ask what went wrong?
@@lmrllpshey what happend to you now????? How are you guys dealing with
"Calm emotional waters" . . . Yes please! Great description of the thinking types in that bit. I identified with a lot of this!
I’m a INFP-T engaged to an ISTP-A.
... Help 😂
(Honestly, though, it has been working just fine. In 8 years, we only had 1 fight and it was on the first year of dating.)
Help number 2!!!! Same as above... (istp here), my partner struggles to express what he's feeling sometimes... even struggles to say what is, exactly, the idealistic thing they thought all the time!!! He says "ow, it's hard to say... i can fell it, see it, in many ways, in various scenarios, but i can't put in words, sorry". (imagine how i get MAD when this happens...lol)
Congratulations!!!! You go!!! ❤️
glad that it's working out!
LOL same! not engaged tho just dating lol i am INFP and my bf is ISTP, the dynamic is so interesting sometimes i wish someone made a video about it!
Oh you did the 16personalities test I see, this page mistypes u rlly often so better learn the functions properly or do other tests like Sakinorva... My Infj and Isfp friends got all mistyped as Inpfs so theres a big possibility that u arent an Infp and ur husband neither an Istp
2:40 Oh my goodness, this literally made me cry of unbelieve and excitement :D As an ENFP, it’s very hard for me to understand that feeling „just neutral“ could possibly be a life goal. My husband always tells me so and it‘s made me go crazy sometimes because I feel like he’s missing out on so much joy and settling early for a boring/„just okay“ type of life.. 😮 At the same time I love how his perspective can ground me and help me be content with the here and now instead of always striving for improvement in EVERY area of my life at the same time :D So thank you for explaining, this helps a lot😅
“Nerdy and sporty hybrid” THAT CAN NOT BE MORE TRUE!
I used to be the first on my patch at my school and the goalkeeper of my school team ..lol
Thank you for making such an accurate video about ISTPs, I feel like you understand us very well. So often I see videos or articles about ISTPs that say that we do not understand or feel what others are feeling. I mean we do not have some form of autism. It is more that we do not choose to engage with someones feeling because we are not interested, not close enough to that person or simply because we are very introverted and it drains our energy for empathy and then problem-solving or feeling-solving ;-) which btw we may apply to any situation of 'too much' happiness or sadness... and if we are ONE thing we are an efficient type of people that also prefer quality over quantity.
Where the ISTP's at?
Yo
Cool name
I’m here . 😅🤓👀
Here! Lol
Hells yeah
Haha I loved that ending adressed to the ISTPs watching. I first had to smile because of the callback to the beginning of the video, then thought about it for a brief moment and came to the conclusion that yea it is the logical thing to do a subscribed. Its a stereotype that ISTPs are stubborn and not easily convinced but in fact its very easy to convince us or change our opinion if you just give us good logical reasoning and facts.
I’ve been accused by intj’s of playing games when all I wanted was an answer to a question.
I genuinely LOVE Ti bluntness. I think thats why weirdly me and my istp friend enjoy my emotional venting. She knows I have no expectations of how she should react and I don't require any forced comfort so she's free to express whatever views she has, even if they'll make me feel worse. I think my infp need for authenticity also really enjoys knowing shes not going to filter her words for any ulterior motive or simply even to make me feel good. Inferior Fe is kinda sad sometimes, she claims she has "SO much love to give" yet is one of the least affectionate people i know lol because she doesn't really know how to express it.
Inferior Fe is sorta similar to dominant Fi in some weird way haha
Give it time. it's really hard for an istp to show love.
This is the only channel where I enjoy both the content and the comment section.
as an ISTP, Thank you. I can finally die alone
Maaaan I'm an ENTP and that line about thinkers sometimes liking neutral emotions more than happiness hit really hard 😂😭🙏
Also ISTPs are just the best. Some people might not like their bluntness but when I'm stuck in a ne-fe loop, ti does a really good job of breaking it and bringing me back down to earth. It just seems like tert-fe, and especially ne-fe means I can never really tell when somebody's playing games so I'm always wary and end up neglecting my ti-aux because it's not "acceptable" and might make me accidentally lose the "game", but that just makes the loop worse. Of course getting hit with blunt criticism stings for a little bit, it's always so so refreshing to know I'm on honest terms with somebody.
ISTP here: I have an interesting tool for my other ISTP family out there that, I’ve discovered somewhat unintentionally, has been very helpful in “dealing with people” specifically the feely side of them. Using, the strengths our way of interacting with the world, I think it was dominantly extroverted sensing, I found a way that helps me gauge a person with fairly high accuracy in terms of knowing how they feel and what it happens to be about. Its not perfect, and it still requires direct input from the individual more often than not, but it does simplify interactions and take alot of the guesswork out. It took me a few years, and its a little hard to explain in quantifiable terms, but basically i learned all the subtleties and nuances of body language. I basically said and did things eliciting responses from people on a daily basis and categorized the responses to fit under certain umbrella/specific criteria such as mood, shifts in appearance etc. Things like the incline of the head, where their eyes look, the slump of they’re shoulders, do they make eye contact, is their voice different sounding, are they speaking in fewer or less complex words, are they actively not engaging anymore, am I trying to pull a response from them, and hundreds of other little things. This has been surprisingly effective though and I can almost instantly tell when something is wrong with someone and exactly when that shift occurs, more often than not I can usually tell why too. This also bizarrely applies to texting as people text differently when they’re feeling certain ways vs “normally.” Its not a perfect system and it does depend a bit on how well you know an individual. Maybe this is nothing new to you guys and you all have been doing this right along, but I never see anything like it mentioned in any ISTP vs/interacting with any other personality type videos or convos. So, here it is, hope its helpful :)
too robot
Does it work with ENTPs?
@@Marses970 works with everyone, just more trial and error for some types than others. Having a firm understanding of psychology has helped this process greatly too
So you are saying 'be direct with ISTPs with your thoughts as long as those thoughts don't include feelings'? Signed: Confused INTP. ;)
I mean... pretty much yes ~ Nathan
@@lovewho Then I will consider your words with as much balance and honesty as possible, and I assure you, they will be non-slimy in nature. On the plus side, INTPs tend not to share their emotions in the first place, so it seems like ISTPs and INTPs would get along just fine.
You can include your feelings, but if we don’t know each other well and you seem to be crying for anyone’s attention, however sad you are, you’re not getting anything from me lol. Just tell me what you need from me emotionally (“I wanna rant to you for a sec” “I’m feelin’ a bit down rn”) and I’m on board. INTPs are pretty authentic in my experience, so we usually get on great. It’s more a matter of how long I can go in a battle of wits with another Ti user who is equally stubborn and equally witty.
I'm just nodding my head and saying yes while reading through the comments. This ISTP energy is the best!
Honestly, I am an INFP with minor INTP and ENFP traits and my boyfriend is an ISTP. I understand that emotions are not his strong suit, so it's easy to keep most of my baggage together. But whenever I have a personal problem that I can't find the solution to it, is so refreshing to check in with him about it and see if he is available to help me find a solution.
His advice is always so clear and it helps clear the fog and the overthinking when he slaps down the most direct solution. ISTP's are really lovely people if you give them the space they need and provide them with things to fix. 💖✨ I love my ISTP. 😊
I am also an INFP with a new ISTP close friend and he’s very helpful and has a grounding effect. Makes me feel safe and really cared for ! He fell for me VERY fast it seems like but I am more detached but very soft at the same time .. I do like to be friends for a while before anything (As an INFP who has a strong moral compass) !
ISTP here with an ISTJ wife. We got together by accident and then found that we were easily comfortable in each others lives and stayed together (26 years so far).
I love that she will give me space to be me as well as listening to my random excitement of the month fascinations.
She likes that I am calm, strong in a crisis and have learned to tell when she wants to have a problem solved or just to listen to her vent about the world (learning took me a little while).
Telling us exactly what you want or what the situation *actually* is is like half the fucking work. I’ve gotten into the habit of having to ask more questions until finally getting the message because people are so concerned about wording over clear communication.
@@dusklight7352 Exactly!
You nailed it! Intellectual plus athletic types.
Even tho I’m an ISTP, I hate sports of any kind. I’m good with indoor games and just fun games in general, but sports are big no-no’s for me. Other than that this is really accurate
Best way to seduce an ISTP? Just look at them.
And, KISS... as in, Keep It Simple Stupid
Or else, they will tell you to STFU.
Hubby is a Libra ISTP. Yes, they do like neutral, and that's been so weird because I prefer to be happy. - INFP
Hey, my carpentry instructor would always remind us about KISS too!
OMG, an INFP with an ISTP!! I'm an INFP dating an ISTP and trying to figure out why he's not communicating his feelings with me. I always feel like I need closure with him but he never budges. I'm scared he lost feelings or something even though he says he still likes me. Maybe I'm being too harsh?? What's the best way to go about this through your own personal experience? (sorry for asking for advice but I really need it lol)
@@Botatochicken same question
@@Botatochicken ISTP are not feelers or fans of emotions if anything they’re deff the type to supress them which is why they’re attracted to the opposite but don’t expect them to be at the same wavelength as you because as an INFP we are prob the ones who feel things the deepest of all personality types :) We need the words and affirmations but they’re more the touchy and show you instead .. if he’s still there than he still likes you lol
And INFP here who just became friends with an ISTP and he fell for me by like the 2nd day talking which is shocking because he didn’t seem like the type to fall fast but somehow I made the impossible happen for him 😅
I love being at a neutral, flat emotional state. I do not like the extreme fluctuations of emotions it tends to be draining. I feel the best when I’m not particularly feeling anything but taking in all of the life around me simultaneously but just being less that an active participant.
Same
As an ISTP, I actually am very talkative with my close friends, and people I overall like and know well. But if a person doesn’t let me say a word, or isn’t listening to me attentively, I don’t feel appreciated and will less likely open up to or befriend that person. Even though I’m an introvert, I like when people listen to me attentively
ISTPs personalities are so attractive to me. They are logical, which is such an important thing in every kind of relationship. It's nice knowing that you can talk to someone straightforwardly instead of just leaving the other person to just assume your needs, what you want, etc. by not simply explaining. They are the definition of maturity. Although it can be tricky to get close to them because you can't let them know things like that( your needs and what you like) when you first meet them as you are strangers. And they might seem distant, too serious and overall strange to some people. They are awesome nevertheless
- an INTP
Perhaps your attributes don't match with his expectations... as an ISTP i could say that it's perfectly normal be wonder by someone i've just meet for the first time, but mainly it has to be outstanding expression ...which it turns rare if your surroundings are boring or too common or homogenous.
Simple phrase that an ISTP could relate to: "cut the bullshit" lol
More ISTP videos please!
Noted! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho THANK YOU! 😆
@@lovewho pleeeeeeeeeeease note it again.
This video is a gem.
Great job, Nathan!
(ISTP)
This man is shooting 100%
I have a growing respect for istps and have been noticing them more as characters in great shows, like the Mandalorian and the Witcher.
So this means me and my ex are both istp hahahahaha no wonder we broke up we are just same level headed chill and if no one will ever speak no one bothers to speak omg
I like how this video start... straightforward directly to the point.
Love your delivery … no BS just direct and practical examples!!
You are Great! That was sooo true & I am thrilled that somebody knows my type this well!
Glad it was helpful! It's so fun to get comments like this since I never know whether my theoretical ramblings will actually apply to anyone ~ Nathan
I watched seversl videos about ISTPs. This is one of the best. Appreciated!
I sometimes feel that an ISTP-INFJ relationship is like an avoidant - anxious preoccupied relationship 🤔😅 INFJ here 🙋♀️
This information has proven to be extremely beneficial for someone like me who identifies as an INTP. Thanks to this newfound knowledge, I am now equipped to engage and connect with an ISTP uncle in a captivating manner. (👹)
I've been binge watching "What makes an ISTP" videos. I've checked all the boxes, and I feel like I just came out of the closet. My heart feels super light! ：）
I'm not emotionless, but I do think that humans need both logical and psychological understanding to solve their problems. That's why I'm really open about communication but only with my really close family or people
My husband is an istp. This seems very accurate. I am an intj. We have wonderful deep meaningful conversations. He does get overwhelmed with my forward thinking sometimes.
I have been waiting for a year
Thank you!
Oh wow! I would have made it even longer had I known that! Hopefully you successfully seduce them! ~ Nathan
As an ISTP, I hate it when people tell me about their unsolvable pfoblems. Like my classmate that tells me about his alchoholic mother. I am always there to listen him, but that can be REALLY exhausting.
Literally... literally just say: "I'm going to give you space but I'll be here if you need me" AND BAM instantly I will put a ring on that shit.
Just subscribed to the chanel because he had made a pretty good point: it is free content. Never thought of it that way, but it is so true. Yep an ISTP is typing
Ahhh the ending is even better. I just got to it. He is so right. I did subscribed it right in the beginning xD
Thank you for doing this video series. It's super helpful for writing romance--after all, I don't want to write the same thing over and over! Boring!
So yes, thank you!
*Quietly slips away into the shadows of cyberspace*
Glad to see you arise from the shadows ~ Nathan
One of the best videos for ISTP. Thanks for that. I was already subbed lol.
I appreciate the ability to cut through the social crap however being one those people who need an emotional connection when it comes to people so when someone is as free flowing as a block of reinforced concrete I get triggered and deeply disappointed. Humans are strange indeed especially the socials that come out as fake and superficial.
What about explain exactly your feelings? Instead of waiting for supporting with no additional data input? We're soft concrete, actually. lol
@@RegisYama "additional data input" sounds like a machine than a living entity, I sometimes get actual bots replying to my comments just saying.
@@MrKillswitch88 sometimes i prefer to be around robots than people ...
I know this was posted years ago, but I only just found it today. Thank you for helping me understand my ISTP husband better. This video had such valuable insight for me, and I appreciate it.
Hey which type are you
@@sheikhajalood6848 I'm an ESFP, so there's a well balanced Venn diagram of characteristics between the two of us. How about you?
As an ISTP, just tell us what you want. Please, it makes it so much easier.
So the other day wife gives my money before heading into the convenience store - she says “Child #1 wants to buy something” Child #1 accompanies me into the store “Child #2” waits in the car with Mom.
Child #1 buys something with that money and accompanies me back to the car. Once returning to the car wife gets very mad and asks why I didn’t buy anything for Child #2 as well.
In my mind I was doing exactly what was asked of me - in her mind I was not considering the feelings of Child #2. In the end I apologized to Child #2 and told wife I made a mistake and should have considered Child #2. (However I thought wife should have been a bit more clear in her communication.)
Normally I can get out of my own head enough to catch this in time (think of things that are not explicitly expressed or other’s potential needs).However, I had a lot on my mind and it was directly after work.
Anyway, this anecdote which exemplifies a desire for explicit clear communication- (and maybe the fact that I’ve worked in I.T. and technical support for 20 years) made me think maybe I’m an ISTP. Anyway, just felt like sharing.
Thanks as always for the great content!
Spot on 👌 ISTP here agreeing with all of the above!
ISTP here. I may have cackled a bit when you said "Avoid and Embrace" at 2:18
My girlfriend is an ISFJ and she loves musicals... Yeah. I'm not a fan of those... lol
Fortunately she also likes Leslie Nielson movies like The Naked Gun and Airplane! LOL
But we always stop and listen to each other to make sure we're on the same page with small things or big things. She's emotionally intelligent in that she gives me the room to think and then speak and I've had to practice at telling her what my train of thought is because sometimes she may not understand how I got to a certain conclusion. That's something that has gotten easier for me just from being with her!
Spot on. My tolerance for bullshit is low at the best of times and I've been told I'm a little blunt about calling people out on it - especially when I'm tired!
I'm an Anaesthetist and you may be interested to know that 1/3rd of our Post-Grad syllabus is Physics/Clinical measurement. There are a lot of ISTPs and INTPs in my Department, which figures, since we're the geeks of the medical world. We also mostly all like running, cycling and triathlon.
My boyfriend is an ISTP and I'm an INTP
he asked me out and I said yes
very simple I like it
Istp here, really loved the "nerdy and sporty" part. I like nerd things because I see them as something completely new to learn and master (such as videogames) while sports are just 1% theory (which I hate) and 99% hands-on action which is exactly what I look for (I'm a boxer, this should tell u something haha).
I love both the theory and the hands on action, one of my favourite video game genres is fighting games who let you figure a lot of stuff out after learning the basics, everyone has some skills which they are good and other skills which they are completely shit so it's your job to create a playstyle that's unique to you, and you can choose to balance out the weaknesses with the strengths or to double down with your strong points
The characters are also normally have very depth in them, so after years there are still things you can learn about your character
Computer Programmer/Motorcycle Mechanic here. Realized I was an ISTP the same time I realized Free Will does not exist. ;)
The two types of ISTPs I run in to: ones that are already hoping to find someone who will help them embellish their Fe (in which case they are disappointed very quickly), and ones that are just grateful to be listened to by someone who can easily follow along - even if it means I have to pick on them later for their rigidity about the idea of... Well... Exploration... They like to find an idea that works and bee-line for it; even if there are more ideas just over the horizon that are just as useful and dare I say more universally appealing - if you're willing to put in the time; which ISTPs would often rather not. That being said, they're exceptionally honest people and surprisingly good listeners if you're discussing a real issue or concern, and their advice is pretty solid. The best ISTPs in my life have learned not to resent our differences and they fit pretty squarely into the friend zone. It only gets complicated if I meet a wife of theirs who clearly wasn't chosen for her brains. I think they definitely need someone smart and outgoing
And with enough Fe to draw them out and engage them with. As an ISTP I struggle with Fi dominant partners or Nx / Tx dominant since I can't really understand their feelings well. Fe dominant types may be full of drama and sometimes annoying but are more "transparent" in their sentiments toward someone (if they are not faking it or being manipulative, something they may be really good at).
With inferior Fe as an INTP I understand that calm, neutral emotions are best. No matter what, intense feelings can get easily overwhelming and we often ignore, and are not in touch with, our feelings and the feelings of others. When someone asks if I'm happy it's a very complicated question because it requires me to start paying attention to my Fe. Often calmness and neutral emotions so my Ti can work uninhibited is the best. So I guess that would be my equivalent to happy.
Haha my cousin asked me how I was feeling the other day and I was just like “uhhh idk haha, not really thinking about it”.
I can be in touch with my deep emotions, but if I stay there too long, it’s not good for me, leads to mental chaos. I do love the peaceful mental realm best.
@@CuddleClaw. what’s your type
"They are a hybrid of sporty and nerdy" -so true
I always thought I was an intp but all of these characteristics of the istp sounds almost exactly like me...... MY LIFE IS A LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE
I ALWAYS type as INTP, maybe ‘cause I’m a less athletic ISTP. Apparently there are a lot of ISTPs mistyped as INTPs out there. Welcome to the club
You know what, this is amazing. I didn't even realise that it was true but it explains my life so accurately in a way that I can now put it to others - the bit at 2:40 is so spot on, I can't even tell you. Thanks!
This is awesome to hear! ~ Nathan
The vent thing is true someone vented on me without saying they were and my head went straight into solving mode 😂
I don't know why i'm watching this as an INFP 😂 I love you guys!
I can go down a rabbit hole watching Love Who videos, easily.
I like Istps but they don't like me lol :(
They do, they just haven't told you yet
Edge Bot Same. I think everyone’s slightly annoying until they prove otherwise. My friends have noticed that about me as well. I wonder what that says about me as a person. -ISTP
If I already know that my interaction with someone is going to be a one time deal I'm not too keen on getting to know them. Doesn't mean I don't like them just that we're not gonna see each other again so why put in the effort.
@@BrandonKaida Because you never know, and good effort is never wasted..
avoid saying"i feel". speak about concrete things, concisely. Be honest and straightforward.