Yep, it sure does! The only clincher is if she really cares about you, it will work. If she doesn’t and knows you’re not good for her, it won’t bother her at all.
I personally think your name is very attractive Mia I like that, the funny part is your commentary is 5 months old, your commentary gave me hope thank you for your sincere words
K. What if she was completely in to you but bothered or troubled by an ex wife which I have kids with attempting to make my life hard from time to time but to no success? She believes that there may be problems in the future but ive attempted to reassure that it will never be an issue. Then got ghosted after 6 solid months of nothing but beautiful memories, not 1 argument and nothing but good times. Been in NC for almost 2 weeks now. Have mutual friends as well.
So many fake and scammer ‘coaches’ out there, but this gentleman is definitely for real. Very wise. My ex dumped me three (!) times. In the last time, I took it well, serenely, and said if that was her decision, I would close that chapter in my life for good. Did ‘radio-silence’ no contact (whilst suffering a lot of pain), and guess what? She wants to come back after 11 months. Strangely, after her telling me that she had already had another boyfriend and even travelled overseas with him, my feelings for her went numb. And now I don’t want anything to do with her anymore. People are strange and human beings are complicated.
I feel you. Something like that happened to me too. And even if i wanted to get back to her i couldn't knowing she was with other guy. I still love her but just couldn't let her into my life
You are right. No Contact also works for women and how it works. It only doesn't work if you've done something bad to a woman or treated her very disrespectfully over a long period of time. If that's not the case and she still has feelings, it works. The best and only way to know if there are still feelings is and remains no contact. But most men are too weak and impatient and give in, and women know that, so they wait longer than a man would. But when a man sets himself the goal of going into no contact forever, he pursues this goal. And she will get in touch 100%. I've been through a few no contact phases. The shortest was a week and the longest 1.5 years. I had no contact phases of 3 weeks, one month and 3 months. I persevered each time and she came back. It always works. You just can't believe that women are stronger. They are not, they are weaker but more patient. But at some point even they run out of patience. That's the way it is.
The biggest difference is that even unattractive women have more sexual/romantic options than very attractive men, so that’s why they can afford to be “patient”
Coach Lee Even if the no contact rule doesn't work in my case, you gave me faith during hard times in my life. I believe you sincerely try to help, and I appreciate it. I changed my approach to my break up. Instead of fighting for her back, I went for change first and then for her. P.S. The fact that you are so calmed made me feel calm. Thankyou.
I did not. But please keep reading. After the break up, I was devastated. I stayed in bed all day watching videos from Coach Lee. Reading about others situations, calculating my chances (Long distance relationship), and they were very low. I even called her after a week telling her that I had learned from my mistakes. I was begging her for a second chance. I decided to follow the no contact rule. After 60 days, I contacted her again. She was happy to hear from me, but I started begging again, and she had to let me go. I was devastated, my family eventually noticed and got worried. I stopped eating and became a memory junky. I was in a very dark place. I then decided to really use the no contact rule. What else do I have to lose? I had hit rock bottom, I was an embarrassment. I then found Coach Corey Wayne's work. "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne. The book is completely free. I was so impressed, I even bought it. That's when my self improvement journey began. After reading the book, I made new goals in life. I worked out, focused in college and worked. I wanted to be the best man I could be. I worked out 5 times a week for a year. I read many more books, such as "How to Make Friends and Influence Others" and started improving my social skills. I also read "How to Break the Habit of Being Myself". I was devoted to become the best version of myself. I also started listening to Alan Watts and understand the nature of ourselfs. This helped me understand why the no contact rule was so important. Here's the hint: Wu wey. But I would still recomend listening to his spiritual guidance. Allan Watts is very funny in his lectures. So I kept working out harder, studied harder, read more, made more improvements every day. I cried whenever she came back to my mind. The thoughts of her rejection made me push harder into becoming stronger. I would every now and then hear from her, how she didn't seem to care much. How her life was so much better without me. So I did 10 more reps on the bench press while I was broken on the inside. I made enough money to change my ugly minivan for a Honda Civic '13. It wasn't much, but it was definitely and improvement. After a year and 3 months, started noticing I was getting way more attention from the girls in my classes. Even girls on facebook started random conversations with me. (I was not bragging my improvement, I guess the time was just right). Then I got a message. It was a cute girl I liked in highschool. We started talking and I found out how much of an amazing time we were spending together. I thought about my ex. I kept working out, but then the coronavirus happened. I couldn't just let go of my goals, I worked out home, kept reading books and slowly but steadily, the memory about my ex faded away. I then decided that a year was enough. I must let her go. She and I would talk all night, she would listen to me whenever I had hard times. She was there for me even when I stopped believing in myself. She was an amazing girl. I eventually decided. We should start dating. A few weeks later, I was on my way to ask her to be my girlfriend. And just like in the movies, my ex called. She wanted to get back together. It was hard, since I spent this whole year and a half self improving for the day she came back. Then I though about how this would hurt the girl I was dating. So, I decided. I had to let her go. My ex had her chance, and she blew it. Also, I like this girl alot, and she believes in me. Here's my advice for you. Don't beg anymore, become a better person. This might just the wake up signal to become the best version of yourself. The time for you to become who you deserve to be. I again want to thank Coach Lee for all his amazing advice, his videos helped me a lot when I had no one. I wish you the best of luck. Be strong. And when you are about to break, watch Coach Lee's videos for surviving the No contact rule. Believe me, it is indeed the best you can do.
Coach Lee, without you, I wouldn't have made it through the past 3 months, exactly, today. I watched, I listened, I posted and replied to comments. I have been that person curled up in a ball crying on the floor. I have felt everything you've said. I've learned how to be a better ME. If you're a new watcher, watch all the videos. This is No Contact time, watch the videos, cry, scream, get back to you. Eat, sleep, life is short. I cannot tell you it doesn't hurt, but I can tell you that you, somehow, will find a way to deal with this. We have life experiences, you are not wise right now - read, cry, puke your guts out over the loss. Right now, after 3 months, I'm at peace. Thank you Coach Lee, and everyone I've interacted with in comments. btw, I'm 48, been through this so many times, but each time is unique, and you will pick yourself up again. Peace.
Great comment. I was counting every day but stopped around day 60. It's getting close to 3 months now and I am finally feeling like my old self.I never thought I would be saying that a couple months ago. It felt like my entire life was washed away....but ... I worked my butt off these past couple months and just bought a nice BMW! Life is good!
2 years after original post I'm watching this...Coach Lee, it's all proven correct. You've since refined your message and grown tremendously in confidence and following...because you're right. It all boils down to Work On Yourself. You've put your heart on the line and got stomped. Pick yourself up, deal with the pain, GROW and then when it cycles back around you will have a CHOICE! You'll be a fuller, seasoned, more confident human being. And if then you BOTH decide it was meant to be. And if not you're continuing on your journey a stronger, fuller, more mature ready for real love person. Believe in yourself.
Was in a relationship with her for 9 months and was blindsided by the breakup. I begged and pleaded for a week, even dropped off flowers with a hand written note saying that I loved her for the first time. I even accepted friendship. I know, looking back the cringe is real. After a week of that, I saw these videos and went into no contact. Two weeks of no contact later she starts texting me and I respond casually. The next day she texts me I tell her I don’t want friendship anymore... she says she understands, that she misses me a ton, hopes she didn’t blow her chances with me and wants to hang out. Yeah, I think no contact worked it’s magic, thanks coach! Any advice would be helpful for when we meet tomorrow, I plan on being casual, up beat and showing the new me I have been working on!
Go SLOW! Talk, communicate, share fears and joys and dreams. You got a second chance buddy, most of us here haven't had that luck yet. Enjoy it, embrace it, and you both decide if it's worth it to continue on, or if ... yeah, it just wasn't meant to be. Don't force it, just flow with it.
Lucas Ellett all the luck to you man, and what was your reaction when she texted you after 2 weeks, you must have been happily jumping lol, and it must have been hard not to text her for 2 weeks too,
kk Uniyal I was so relieved when I saw she text me, even just at the notification. I sat back and had the biggest sigh of relief and smiled. I thought about how much I doubted all the “no contact” coaches and was amazed they were right. Here is the update on what happened! So it was good, we caught up, laughed a lot and had fun. I could tell that she liked me, (all the subtle things us guys pick up on, the hair twirls, the way she looks at you, laughs at the stupidest things you say, more makeup than usual) A few things stuck out though, she postponed what she was doing later to hang out with me longer, when I took her home I could tell she didn’t want to leave the car.. felt like she had a lot on her mind or was waiting for me to make the first move... but I didn’t. I figured i wasn’t going to chase in fear of pushing her away. She said she was not ready for a relationship, I said that it’s okay, that I want one and if she ever wants to reach out then go for it. She is leaving for Illinois for the summer, I’ll actually be up there too with family. She said if we both are up there that we should hang out. Her flight is tomorrow and I’m going back into no contact to work on myself. Just don’t know if I should have made a move or let her go Think I made the right move by not chasing
even worse when you're recovering from ankle surgery and cant walk for 6 weeks all i can do is stay in bed with my foot up ...pills are nice imagine if someone broke their dominate hand if ya know what im sayin
I did no contact for two months. I decided to reach out and she is cut off emotionally as a person. I decided that it’s time to move on because I can’t fix her emotional issues.
Yes, you got it. People need time, for themselves, to heal from stuff you probably don't even know about. Like Coach Lee said, you will never forget them, and likewise, they will never forget you. So, don't tarnish that image, you were a part of their lives, and if you just let it be ... maybe, they will remember you as one of the better part of their lives. Just wish them peace, wish them well, and yes, we all have to move on.
XtremeChiliPepper Well said. Her and I did have a wonderful relationship. I have no idea of all that had happened in her past that had made her emotionally cut off. I tried to lead by example to show love and care by expressing it. Also, it’s okay to be showing one’s heart if you are willing to trust. I do pray for her daily and wish that God will soften her heart and soul. I still miss her to this day.
@@JLayfield85 yeah, I understand. After spending 11 weeks calling off work, not eating, not sleeping, and these videos and supportive friends - I finally got it. I did all I could, more in 7 months than I've ever done in a life of gf's and even a divorce. I still talk to all but one of my ex's, and my ex-wife. But this latest one, she had nothing, I 'white knighted' (now that I know what that means), and didn't see her, for her, all the emotions going through. I left, over something so stupid, and now I lost my gf, but more importantly, my friend. I messed up, I will give her the space she needs. I needed to find me again too.
My exgf broke up with me about 4 months ago, she wanted to stay friends and I eventually said no and went NC about 2 months ago. I was absolutely devastated, I had to seek help and take some time off work, i was a complete fucking mess 😂. I absolutely loved this girl and was going to propose to her but now I'm doing great! I have lost nearly 40lbs, doing well financially, even found a new hobby that I am passionate about. Now I realize that I am happy without her and that I dont need her or anyone to make me feel fulfilled, this is a great feeling, its like I've taken complete control of my life even found out that I was in a toxic relationship with her, turns out she is a complete Narcissist with suicidal tendencies, this explained soo much and the pieces fit, never will I let someone control my life like how she did, I am a much stronger person from it. Your videos and other channels really helped, thanks for the great content.
Day 8 of no contact. I watch your videos everyday, so encouraging, consistent, lots of detail, and really keeps me strong. I completely doubt she will ever contact me but I deserve more respect and appreciation than I was getting. I'd rather walk away than to stick around and be disrespected
Truly gutted it doesn't work on smurfs.. thankyou coach lee really needed this video today. I've been 3.5 weeks no contact with her today and heard nothing. I'm just focusing on me and my goals,work, friends and family. Thankyou
Coach Lee, I’m not coming across as an arse kisser but no contact rule is a godsend but at the same time, it feels like we’re doing nothing. So many other coaches say you’ve gotta reach out and what not..... but it’s gotta come from them at the end of the day. I’ve read up on your website and you’ve stated it grows in strength with time but the anticipation is too much some days. Staying strong.
I can relate. I've been in a relationship for 3 years before she broke up with me. No logical reason, simply she was not involved anymore. "No problem when I'm with you, but I don't miss you when we're not together". I was so shocked, no one can prepare you to a similar sentence. I felt destroyed and I told her that even though I love her, I respect her decision and that she can't force herself to feel something she doesn't feel. She hugged me while we were both crying. I told her my hearth is still hers and then I decided to disappear. 2 weeks since, I miss her and I don't think she will ever come back. Our relationship was fantastic and I would do everything again, can't really explain the reasons she felt out of love. All I know is that in the last months I was not the strong man I used to. Staying no contact is the right choice for me to move on, I'm doing this for my self, I can't deny I have a little hope to reattract her again but if I can't I hope her to be good. I miss you R, thank you for everything, I will always be your number 1 supporter, even if you can't see me next to you.
Important thing to remember guys.. no contact works in good ways and bad ways. Example = my ex girlfriend who I’ve been in no contact now with for 8 weeks, rebounded straight into a relationship with my (now ex) best friend. She burnt the ultimate possible bridge ‘ back to me ‘ she knows that even if she did miss me and wanted to reach out, she literally can’t because of the carnage she left. So depending on the relationship dynamics, sometimes it’ll work, sometimes not 🙏🏻
Twisted 420 you too. I’ll check up on you in 2 months. Hope it does work out for you! Best advice is to find ways to distract yourself, being alone in your thoughts will make it so much worse.
Your videos are not only giving me hope and power for the hard time, but also realistic options for my life. Im happy to watch more videos and thanks for your videos!!!
Today is June 1st. Been in NC since April 13th. She tried to break up with me January 11th and I wouldn’t have it. After a few months of her treating me bitterly I finally let her have what she asked for and was as kind and sincere as I could be. She was balling her eyes out the night I let her go at a park. We met at work and eventually became a couple, intertwining our lives as well as our family’s friendship together. After a year or so a new guy started where we work and ex ended up working with him permanently as our boss didn’t like us together and now had a reason. The guy and ex ended up becoming besties and she ended up telling me he was always going to mean more as a friend than me as a love. I asked the guys wife and my ex to ask him to respect the boundaries as I would find out they would go out to dinner and hangout on weekends while avoiding me finding out. I would watch this guy tickle my ex while his now ex wife and I watch in awe. Because I didn’t like this she distanced herself emotionally and physically, always had a reason to be away from me. It’s been over 45 days. I tried everything I could and the solutions she asked of me like making up plans to fix things and they were just never good enough. It felt like the last bit she got to say was pushing my head underwater to tell me that by the way it was all me. A month before that she said it was all about her. I just don’t understand the inhuman things that came out of her mouth when I was supposed to be the closest person by her side. I’ve had 3-4 sessions with Coach Rex and they are indeed helpful. It doesn’t really change the hurt. We were together 2 years January 31st 2021. I really feel like I got disrespected and pushed into the dirt. My words didn’t matter and all the crappy things that were done like slowly excluding me from everything and ripping off the label. She would “let” me come over basically saying I don’t care if I wanted to spend time together or see the puppy we got together. There was times she treated me like CRAP and ignored me in front of family and friends. I thought I had a woman that was going to give the other 100% I needed and was convinced I had found her. Should I reach out? Should I wait? I’ve been working out and trying to work on my physique trying to get my mind off of this never ending mess. Building muscle and toning. I realized I was not eating enough by far. I have noticed she watched one of my rare snapchat stories but that’s about it. I let our 842 day streak end a few days after I was forced to let her go April 13th. I could tell ther bothered her and she said she would just talk to me when I was ready to talk to her. Taking the streak end as an insult. I couldn’t ever bring up something she did that bothered me as it always turned into me wanting the perfect girlfriend and she messed everything up. I got gas lit… from what it looks like on old work group chats (I got a way better job right after the Jan 11th breakup attempt) she has having fun with him and is just fine and dandy goofing around with him and others. This guy divorced his wife around the same time as our breakup and it is too coincidental not to assume they had something. I always got the just friends excuse no matter if it was them tickling each other or him taking pictures of my girlfriend right in front of me and his wife. She said screw it and moved back halfway across the country where they came from. They were married 7 years and then entered my world….when things started to go sour my ex started talking about moving with her parents to Indiana this year after her grandparents who they care for pass on. I miss this entire family and I don’t know how they feel about the way she acted. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t want the opportunity to disappear and reappear in 10 years with another guy and kids.
Coach Lee keeping it real. I love it. The psychology and emotions of the human race dictates responses. This is something that Coach Lee truly understands and possesses experience in. Thank you coach.
Be careful, sometimes the no contact rule can make women hate you. It works, in the sense it will drive them crazy, but sometimes its not the emotion/response you want. If she's extremely prideful, stubborn, then it might make her hate you for good. Because the feeling of being ignored, definitely can be hurtful. Especially for strong headed and prideful women with emotional issues.. But if she's the one that did the breaking up, you have no choice and it can definitely work. As long as there's 'feelings'. Most the time there definitely is, especially if its a long relationship. If she just one day woke up and goes "what the hell am I doing with him", then nothing is going to work. She's glad you're gone.
@@grit1679 I don't want her anymore, but she wasn't a terrible person. She just is very stubborn, and yeah, that is frustrating. The no contact did work with her, but we went our separate ways. We just don't see things the same way and we are better off. I got nothing personal against her. I still care for her. She's flawed though, so am I. We all are. We all have less than desirable traits, so I'm not going to hold things she has against her. Overall, she is a good person, we just don't belong together.
Did no contact for 5 months we talked a few weekends ago keep in mind we have the same group of friends it felt so empowering not feeling anything while talking to her in person. She hasn't changed still doing the same shit the key to no contact is finding self love and who you are alone. We texted after let her know I would be come with catching up sometime and she said maybe sometime and that was it. Ive been in gym 5 days a week killing it and have met so many other girls just stay positive fellas dont buy into any bullshit female games
It works better on women… Women respond to their emotions and how they feel in the moment. That’s why you can’t take their words seriously other than how they feel in the present moment. The reach out ratio, for some reason, is incredibly important to a woman’s level of attraction. That’s to begin with, before even doing no contact. Hard to get works better on women too. My level of attraction doesn’t change depending on on a women’s level of initiation, but mine changes for them depending on how much I reach out.
I seriously hope it works on women. I want my wife back. We were together 25 years have 4 kids and a grandson. Travelled the world together and have so many memories. I adore the woman and love her so much. The separation was my fault for having depression and not admitting it and it pushed her away. I am now on the mend and feel great. Lost 2.5 stone ( loss of apatite) I begged for 7 weeks. Tried nc for a week and crumbled now on second nc and some days I'm great thinking I can move on the next day I'm in tears and I hate myself for it. I just need to get her back. Neither of us cheated just pushed her away
I'll never know if no contact works, my ex has no way to get in touch with me and I made sure of that , remember dating your ex again is like reheating fries.
I do agree about reheating fries, it has never, ever worked for me! But, just but, you've left an open door somewhere. I thought 3 days was forever. At 3 weeks I was dead. After 3 months, yeah, she's ok, so am I. If she contacts me, then I'm ok with a civil conversation. If not, like I said, I found my peace - we all do what we gotta do.
@@XtremeChiliPepper if she did you wrong I honestly wouldn't be civil with her, like he said it's just feeding Their ego, my ex was extremely toxic so I had to cut her off completely and I also found my peace
So, last week she broke up with me through text. She was like, Hey, how are you? So I've been thinking about it and I think it's best for us to just go separate ways. I think it's the best for us. I appreciate the effort that you put on in our relationship and for the happiness that you brought to my life. I don't hold a grudge against you and if you ever need help you know that I'm here for you. And thankfully after watching all of these videos I replied to her with "I agree with you on this. I respect your decision. Take care" she obviously told me she needed some time before this whereas I pleaded and begged her to not do this to me. I told her we could work things out but it obviously didn't change her mind. Now my question is, what did her message really mean? As you can see I gave her the break up and the space by replying with that. Let me know what do you guys think. Btw, I'm doing fine ever since the break, I had the chance to see things from a different point of view. Which made me realize that it was possibly that she was going to break up with me. Thankfully I came across with Coach Craig and Coach Lee. But yeah let me guys know what you guys think. :) I've been on no contact ever since she asked for a break so I have a good headstart which I feel great and very proud of making that decision.
Hello, not sure when your last edit was done, but care to share how you are doing now? The way you worded her break up message sounds so similar to what I received.
Fawk that Coach, it works. I followed 0ver half of what you said and she has turned her attention back to me. My growth caused problems with her rebound. Being 15 pounds lighter and coutinued mental stability, and a rediscovered Swag, Shes on her way back. It works !!
Update: I dont want reconciliation. She has not grown. We talked and she lied about some important things but I didnt tell her I knew the truth. I think its over because I cant be with who the person she is. I realized this is who shes always been. Im moving on. Thanks CoachLee. Your videos assisted me to move into a new mental and physical space. Your vids picked me up off the ground literally!! I went from watching in a fetal position sobbing, to listening while walking and running 6 to 8 miles a day. Much respect
Went no contact for 15 days. She called and ask for a couple things she had left. Then tries to start a argument accusing me of everything . WTF ?? !!!!!
I spent weeks begging and pleading. So I have probably damaged my chances to the point of no return 😢🤦🏻♂️, but after watching coach Lee’s videos I am now on day 15 of no contact and still now and then feel like I should reach out. But I don’t I just keep watching these videos, working out, playing music and seeing friends and family. I genuinely love my ex and would be over the moon to have her back. If its not meant to be then hey at least I know I done what I should to at least try. And I’ll always wish her all the best.
NO. If I broke up with a guy and he doesn’t contact me and apologise after he fucked up, there is no way I’m chasing him - I’m giving him the breakup and letting him go, forever. If he contacted some and apologised, I might take him back, depending on the issue. If I was the one who stuffed up, then I would just apologise.
@@angelabvlogs5490 yes it works depending on the situation and the person. Sometimes they’ve come back after a year, sometimes after 2 weeks. One came back after 15 years. Letting them back however, has never worked out because they didn’t work on themselves enough to not let the issues happen again. No contact does not work ON me though because I am too stubborn and prideful. If you walk away from me or let the relationship go that easily I am in the mindset that it’s 100% over and no looking back. If you come back to me and apologise and show me how things will be different, I will give benefit of the doubt a chance because no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it’s not a mistake but it’s a character flaw and you decide to walk away, or let it go put up with it and stop complaining.
Just had an ex girlfriend reach out to me after almost 3 years of NC I feel the only way an ex won’t reach out to you man or woman is if life is better without you now if it is except that move on and better yourself no matter what but if life isn’t better without you and you two had a decent loving relationship with no animosity then they may try and resurface at some point always focus on what you can control and that is yourself
that is one LONG sentence, but yes, I believe that too - true love is forever. Had many gf's, all special, still talk to most of them, but I just haven't found the ONE yet. They were all cool, then, at that time.
XtremeChiliPepper it is a long death sentence if you’re sitting around waiting for them to reach out I’m in a better place emotionally with that ex currently going through another break up right now but her reaching out to me was a nice ego stroke I’ll tell you that haha!
@@rickychairez1 I wasn't saying to sit around and wait. Just knowing it wasn't right, it ended, maybe in 2 years ... yeah, that's all good. It's the next day that kills, the next few days of panic, the next whenever that scares us the most. Put ego aside, nice to to know they missed you, yeah. Nice if you can accept how much they hurt too, if not more. You'll never know, so be kind, civil.
XtremeChiliPepper I have a long history with her never no hard feelings always take my losses like a man wish her happiness and nothing less just wasn’t the guy to do that for her
No contact definitely works on a woman. I can tell from my own experience. However, it is contingent on what level (type) of relationship you had before it happened. It would more likely work if the relationship was a serious and committed one which ended due to the woman's own faults or in my case, the woman ended it (by mistake). However, it won't work ( at least for me) if the relationship was at the beginning and never had the chance to go into any deeper level. If the man has been sketchy from the beginning and seems to play mind games, no contact definitely accelerates woman totally forget about the man and just move on. no bugs to deal with, so good and quiet that way.
Hi, I dated for 4 weeks with a girl I thought I liked her so much. Since date 1 we had sex, bj's. We went out for dinners, clubs, movies. All 4 dates we had sex and bj's. She was always playfull and we banted each other a lot, we have lot of laughs and had very nice time. By 4 week I started to become clingy, I just fall for her bc I liked her so much. But she told me that she didn't want any serious relationship with me and wanted to keep this as it were going. But that was all. We haven't met since. She texted me after 3 weeks to ask for me and how I was going. The, I tried to get a date 2 times, but no success. Now I've been nc for 1 month today. Trying to help myself and forget about her but deep inside wating for her to contact me.
Thank you for your your amazing experience that you are willing to share. God bless you. If it wasn’t for your videos, my level of depression would be much higher. Bad evil people kept on pressuring her to distant herself from me despite the fact that herself was the one reminding me how a women would want to be with me for what I have to offer.
I’m not your buddy! Unless I’m your buddy… in that case, hey buddy! 😂 Your videos are awesome and they have helped me take a very close look at “reality” I absolutely appreciate these videos!
It worked with a girl I dated only once. She was nice and all, but she just wasn't feeling it. Fast forward 3 months of NC, she sent me a message to meet again. Too bad I was too busy with another girl...
Coach Lee I begged & Pleaded in the beginning for about a month with some space of time between 3-7 days because Dan Bacon said to do it, (Wasn’t exactly begging though, I was more showing off & trying to talk my way in) I called her and did exactly what Dan Bacon said but instead of getting her back she got angry, cold & really mean Horrible advice that guy gives (DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX BEFORE THEY CONTACT YOU or wait about 2 months & be casual about it) I’ve watched countless of your videos & I’ve started no contact, it is going to turn in 9 days now with NC Her birthday is in 2 days, I’m going to send a card & wish her happy birthday but just that, I really appreciate your content & your videos, Thank you so much man! You really helped me out! I cannot describe my gratitude even IF she does not contact me you really helped I hope it works
I was dumped when I was about 23. It was definitely a hit to the ego. She was really bad. Broke up with me every two weeks over jealousy or silly things. She was VERY jealous, irrationally jealous. A girl could walk in front of me and she would get mad, and I'm not even slightly exaggerating. She was a splitter, she either loved me or hated me. She couldn't just argue, she had to turn it into a mess. You could never take her someplace, like a family camping trip, or anything. She would either run off into the night while camping, or she would demand I give her change to call her parent to take her home. It was very embarrassing and emotionally abusive. She was also a mess. She cut school when we were in high school, and she wasn't always reliable with jobs either. The jobs she didn't flake on, they would have to cut her slack because she might come to work high. That's another thing. I was straight laced and I didn't know she was into all that crap. She also broke up with me and got back with me. She said she was never REALLY interested in the guy she was leaving me for, yet she admitted that he flaked on her the first time he was supposed to come over. I think she just got molded and I should not have taken her back at that time. She was sneaky, dishonest, and very manipulative. I was weak at that point in my life. I didn't leave because I was attached but I wanted out. Eventually she got a job with lots of interested guys. She claims she broke up with me first before dating but that's meaningless considering she was obviously around men she wanted to date. She got with a guy and sometime within the year, she was pregnant. I knew it was over after that. I remained no contact with her, but in my case it didn't work because she was with someone and they had a kid. She did however recontact me 19 years later on Facebook. She's still with the same guy, which makes me look like the messed up one. He is basically a simp with low standards and always tells her how much she means to him, plus she's more or less hit the wall. It still makes me angry when she says I just wasn't as forgiving as him, and she left because we didn't get along anyway. She left because she made it impossible for us to get along and because she wasn't faithful. She wouldn't cheat that I know of, but monkey branching is still cheating. I think she was as jealous as she was because she was the one dishonest. Anyway, life is not fair. I was mistreated by her. I should be the one happy and in a relationship, showing her where behaving correctly will get her in life. Instead I'm the bitter guy who just wasn't forgiving enough, and that's why she loves her current husband oh so much. Long story short, even in my situation, no contact worked some. But honestly I'm glad she's gone. I'm only disappointed for wasting time and that I remained faithful to a woman who was only using me to keep her company until a better offer was nearby. It was a waste of time and a big disappointment, but I didn't lose anything.
I'm on day 7 of a breakup and now going full no contact, I sent a message wishing her the best and thought we were on to something special but understand she couldn't get past the previous issues of trust that there were (her end not mine). I hope this no contact works. I'll update in a few months time. We were together for 3 years with a small break last year (although we were always in contact and I broke it off). She broke it off this time. Fingers crossed she comes back although I already feel a bit better and have started going to the gym and being more positive in life. Let's see what happens
@@TylerSmith-dx8pb absolutely amazing, moved on, back on dating, feeling absolutely amazing in myself and taking it very slowly with a lovely lady 4 years younger than myself.
I was the dumper once. He was smothering me with phone calls, text messages and social media, there was no balance. No free moment to myself. It took me a year and half to contact him when a mutual friend of ours was on life support. I had to contact him to tell him. While we never talked in detail about our NC I did apologize to him for how things ended. I realized when our friend almost died that our lives are short and I definitely owed him an apology. We’re not back together, we don’t text or call often but we are friends. But than again my reasoning for contact wasn’t to re-establish a relationship but make amends.
NC may work under normal circumstances, but if your partner is diagnoses with bi-polar disorder or BPD they move on much quicker as a result of their unbalanced brain activity and hormones. They are far more impulsive. A two week NC period for them can be equivalent to a normal person being in NC for 6 weeks. In two weeks my ex met someone else, moved across the country for them one month later. And 3 weeks after that they ended up getting a new apartment together. I can assume a quick engagement and a marriage soon there after. So if they have any mental health issues, after one week you better be up their ass showing you love them because they move on real quick
I’m really trying to hold strong at the moment on this. I reached out after 7 days to congratulate her on her first day of teaching, she said thank you an hope I was doing well. I replied “I’m good hope you are well also have a good day” and now I’m back to 4 days NC. Today I almost caved but the videos clear my head hopefully this works.
I think that no contact works ESPECIALLY on women. The man's mind is programmed to focus on one thing - so if he was dumped by a woman, he would be broken for about 2-3 weeks, thinking and overanalyzing. Then he starts to raising up from the ashes and thinking less and less. The woman's mind is focused on many things - so she falls in love slower - because she isn't thinking about her man all the time. When she dumps a man, she feels freedom, focuses on friends, job, travels, etc. But after amount of time (which is 2 weeks- one month) she starts to think about her ex boy, and that's where the adventure begins :) One of my exes reached out to me after half a year! (but I wasn't interested anymore on that time)
@@axelbriggjern3534 It’s started to take effect on my ex within a week. She’s trying to indirectly get my attention after splitting up because of being taken for granted.
I am one week in, this is the part that sucks. I've never no contacted someone I love as dearly as i do her. I've no contacted causal gf's, and it's insane how they can't get enough of you, when they are not sure of your feelings. People want what they can't have. I'm sure this will work. If not, i walk away with dignity and self respect.
@@gagsjjmomom9014 I have only had contact in early June to pick up my engagement ring. Proceeded to throw into a river as i drove over a bridge, 5 minutes from her house. I want nothing to do with her. I have done some light dating, but have found one now that has my full attention. It is reciprocal. Taking it slow. Don't know where it will go, but i know that i won't be treated like i was before. As for the ex, she keeps tabs on me thru friends and social media, and I don't care what she sees. I walked away like a man, will continue to be that way. I wished her the best. It takes a while to get the self confidence back, but i did. :)
Thanks for everything Coach. Your attitude and mindset is overwhelming in a good sense of word, and even though I do not know you personally, I feel like I could trust you more than my family members! Thanks for releasing these videos and helping us. A quick suggestion, I'd love if you posted a new video on "being blocked" topic. All the best!
Remove yourself from her life in terms of contact, but still be there and try and improve yourself all the time and remind her whats shes missing subconsciously
Here's the bottomline fellas... and I can see that many of you are confused on this: If, when she broke it off, she was still in love with you, she'll DEFINITELY come back... providing you implement the NC rule. But, if her interest in you had moved to zero (emotionally), then she'll NEVER come back... no matter what you do. The more she loved you (at breakup), the higher the chances of her returning... its a scale... You can work out the rest.
I guess that a woman will miss her ex boyfriend but then when she remembers the reason why she broke up with him, if she is wise, she will know better not to continue the broken relationship. Break-up happened for a reason (say, she didn't feel loved, accepted, trusted, appreciated, supported, etc. And there was abuse, cheating, dishonesty, lies involved and there is lack of moral values. Or he is not the man that she wanted for herself.) You know the reason why break-up occurred and if it is irrecoverable or not salvageable, use "no-contact" To heal yourself and then improve yourself and find another girl. 🙂 If it is just small misunderstanding and anger and out-of-control burst of emotions, then no-contact will work for sure. 😄 Time (few days) makes us forget the minor mistakes. But if she feels that there is no chance of marrying you, she will move on too. So don't waste time waiting, just move on. Pain will go away
Hi Cynthia..i need women advice if can help me out... My on and off Gf couldnt sleep at night , and affecting her mental health….should I pull away or show my love or care by initiating contact? She didn’t text me for 36days She also having problem with Neck Degeneration and back pain..she is in her Menopause age… Should I be more caring like a Beta or I should Dont care like Alpha to just respond only when she reach out She want to do her own thing and I wonder whether am I the part time bf or she only need me when she want to ? I tried to arrange appointment with Doctors…she rather go on her own but medicine or gynae or chiropractic couldnt help her …she blame me is the source of her Mental Stress by me wanting her to put more effort on our relationship she feel pressure till she break down telling me she need rest..i told her she need Love but she said she want peace and to heal on her own.. How to save the relationship with a gf having Menopause and Medical and Mental health ? Today is Day 36 No Contact She said if she miss me she will contact me
@@coconuthead8303 No sorry. I know its hard to hear but for me it was just best to move on. Im doing so good right now and if she wanted me back, I wouldnt take her back!
After 9 days of nc I caved and talked to her. I apologized with the clean slate message and brought up I was reminded of her when I stopped for icecream because the last time I was there was with her and we had a great day that day. Asked her to call me after work and she did. I ended up telling her I still loved her and asked if it was really her needing to focus on herself and not make others happy but her happy. She started to tear up over the phone and said absolutely and she would not lie to me like that and said she still loved me and started to cry. I told her I was sorry for bringing it up but it gnawed at me since that day when we were both very emotional. I don't know what to do besides go back into NC. I told her I truly do respect her decision to break up and to take care and she said the same crying.
Currently, on day 11 of no contact, we were together for 5 years so I'm hoping for something back. holding strong till Christmas as I think she might message. Time will tell
My ex gf broke up with me 2 days before my birthday. May 6th. She texted me on my birthday saying that she hopes I don’t hate her. 2 days later I went to her place just to talk. We talked for like an hour and a half. Pretty much told her I don’t hate her and to feel free to reach out and I said this isn’t me begging just getting more closure. She cried the whole time. She still loves me. I know it. She’s just confused. I have been no contact since. We never fought in our relationship and the break up was pretty much a blindside. She said she would come get her things that following Monday. She never came. I think that’s a good sign. Then yesterday she deleted a picture of us off of Instagram. Yet others of us remain up. I remain strong and I haven’t contacted her about any of this. I take it as a good sign and that she is thinking about me. She only deleted that photo to avoid the memory of our first date.
Well, i am nearly to that point. I told myself that she has 2 months, after that my life will no longer be on hold for her. I am certainly 1000 times better than I was right after she dumped me, that is for sure. Time heals all. I've never really beaten myself up over losing a girl before the way this one did, but you live, learn, and become a better stronger version of yourself so it doesn't happen again.
Sagan Worshipper trust me I get it. 2 months was generous. Two weeks at most my friend. Date date and date some more. Fck what anyone says about moving on right away. They have no clue wtf they are talking about. Do what’s best for you and succeed!
Here's the thing about this particular girl. Met her about 9 years ago. At that time she was married and thinking of getting a divorce. We saw each other for about a year, behind her husbands back, albeit it was just for coffee once in awhile. I started to develop strong feelings for her and I told her. She decided that she was going to try and salvage her marriage so I stopped seeing her. We stayed in contact over the years via email maybe once a year just to say happy new year etc. About 6 months ago she tells me she left her husband, bought a house, and her divorce was almost final. We started to see each other. Things moved quickly. We started sleeping together almost immediately. About 2 months in her divorce got finalized. Right after that is when she started acting differently. I got the "I think I need space" deal. Said she needs time to "mourn her failed marriage". That is somewhat understandable, I mean they were married for 15 years, but it definitely caught me off guard because everything seemed to be going great, but looking back, I see where I went wrong. I was over invested, over texted, over zealous, when i should have been taking it slow. I know those things killed the attraction. I was hopeful that this time apart would make her come around, but so far nothing. So in all it just kills me that after wanting her for all these years and finally getting her, and then I feel like I blew it, if you know what I mean. Alas, if it is meant to be, then it will eventually happen, but if not, I at least got some nice memories out of the deal. But like I said, we've been in communication for almost 10 years and even if most of that time was just as friends, I can't imagine her just disappearing for good. It sucked bigtime at first but I am fine now. I will soon start dating again and who knows, maybe find someone even better. Wish me luck. Thanks for the chat.
Sagan Worshipper this is an easy one. She is obviously vascular in between you and the ex. You need to totally walk away and mean it. I guarantee in time she will reach out. For now keep dating. Stop putting timelines and frames on everything.
Just found your videos. Break up is after 3 years. I started the first week and a half off poorly. Trying to stay no contact going forward, on day 3 now. I would like to see a video about once your ex starts reaching out how you should best respond depending on how pushy/light they seem to be with their first contacts...
I put my ego aside and apologized for things I've said in anger... however, she's the one who kept putting me in anxiety holes. Kept walking all over me and not taking me seriously, and it's been 5 and a half years we've been together. She broke up with me. But her mom died of cancer not too long ago and her dad has it now, who she had daddy issues with. Which is why I thin she kept repeating things she knew would make me anxious... I'm not chasing my best friend, but I do want to be with her because I understand her stance on everything, but I will not allow those things to keep happening over and over. So, I'm in NC day 3. At this point, it hurts because her dogs here with me. Rabbit too. TVs, dressers, now she could be planning on getting it all out, or not, either way it can't be my problem anymore. I took her in when her dad sold the house, and she lived with me for some years. We were great aside those specific things that were just not right.... one thing was she goes out with her friend Vinny, who I know from her and has never given me reason to think he wants her. Treats her like a brother. But she would go to hang with him, and say I'll be home by 8 or 9. I'm cool with it. But she kept not answering me for hours, not telling me shes coming home at 1 am, not answering me when shes with another guy, of course I'm pissed. But I told her 3 times nicely to pleasestop, she said ok and didn't. I bottled that up, also, she makes friends with a guy online who is freshly divorced and into her favorite musician, so they began talking and she even showed me messages. Told her I wasn't comfortable. she kept going.... then gifts start arriving at my house, I'm like ok this I'd wrong. Bottled that up. Also, drinking and driving. I tell her if you're drunk call me I'll pick you up because I don't want her getting hurt or losing her license or hurting someone else. Does it 3 times, I asked nicely to please stop, she didn't.... bottled that up. Lies telling me she didn't drink, wreaks of alcohol, which she doesn't drink often, says 1 beer, then it's 2, then 4 .. I finally snapped. I let her have it. I yelled, I said things I shouldn't have, but what the hell am I supposed to do!!!??? I put up with it and said I wasn't ok with it and she kept going. So I tried the quiet game, let her figure you out, tried talking maturely, doesn't work, so I snapped. I didn't abuse her, god no, I just yelled because as I'm trying to get my life together, we both escaped addiction together successfully, she acts like she wasn't using with me. Bound to the bed, not wanting to do anything, both are broke, then makes it seem like I should have been more taking her out and getting her gifts, but why would I do that when she can't even take me seriously? So 7 days ago, she breaks up with me. Comes back 2 days later after NC crying for me. Then 3 days later, says I can't do this right now, with everything going on" I just gave her the breakup.... No contact. But trying to move on. I just, 5 and a half years, she's still my best friend and I want to protect her as she was physically abused in the past... my whole family protects her.. we gave too much for her to be acting like this. I'm just focusing on me, but I do love her and believe she can turn that around. Because she put me in that position, I didn't. ... to think I wouldn't snap would be unrealistic torture. I'm so hurt but I don't think she cheated on me
We’ve been living together for 7 months. First as roommates, then after some months as a couple. She is from another country and had to go abroad to get some bureaucratic paperwork fixed. We thought this would only take a couple of weeks, but things were and still are dragging on. Some 2 months ago, she told me on the phone that she’s dating someone else. I went into NC immediately. 4 weeks ago I was in that country and - believe it or not - we ran into each other on a train! I am sure this “coincidence” is due to visualizations I had done: In my mind’s eye I had vividly seen each other hugging, and when we parted at the train station that is exactly what happened: She hugged me and said she loved me very much! Since then (4 weeks), no contact again. The only doubt I have is how to behave towards her family. I am in regular contact with one of her brothers (she hadn’t told him about our encounter!), who always wonders why I don’t call her. I have also bought the kit, but couldn’t find anything relevant to that situation in the modules.
Coach, I messed up and sent a short to the point reach out text . Almost 2 months and there has been no response from her. After 4 years this has been tough . She’s 50 and I’m 41 . Your videos have been so inspiring and helpful . Where am I at now?
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I sometimes dread the possibility of her never reaching out to me. Then there are times when I feel following no contact for 2-3 months will help me move on better even.
We have been off and on since August. I have tried the no contact. She always contacts me when I do it and she will say let’s work this out. Then shortly after it goes right back to the same thing
I recently experienced dump by my girlfriend. She said she's totally done with me and told me she deserves more then I can give her and her kids. All I did was tell her the truth. She said I was hurt her to the core.
It does work on women...lol...I am one. It has happened to me before (to be frank) and worked on me, as well as my doing N.C. right now in my current situation to an Ex (who never broke up with me really, we are just "seperated" under odd circumstances that may or may not lead us back together in the coming months of my implementing N.C. without a warning). But as for me being a woman, and the one who did no contact on me certainly made me think more of that man as well as made me want to at least see him again. And well, I did. Not saying it always works but it depends on the situation and circumstances just like Coach Lee explains in many of his videos. No contact is not gender bias, by any means.
I know it's been three years since you posted this comment, but I'd like to get a woman's perspective on something. What if she lost some attraction because I may have come across a little needy towards the end? But only because I felt her pulling away. 10 months prior I was very confident in our relationship, and we shared so many good memories, we were really into each other, really can't think of any bad times, we never argued, we just laughed and loved, it was magical. So my question, in your opinion will she still think of me fondly during no contact, maybe reach out? I've 30 days NC so far..
Hello dear let me recommend you to a man Who helped me get my ex husband back after 2 years of separation I thought he would never come back till I came across this man dr Wilson he can help you too .
Coach, how does the fear of loss affect someone who isn’t afraid to lose you? Isn’t that what breaking up is? If they were afraid to lose you, they wouldn’t dump you.
They weren’t afraid to lose you at the breakup, but at the same time they had not yet experienced it. It was merely a concept. I see many people want the ex back after breaking up with them because they were allowed to feel the loss.
I have made mistake to start begging and want to call here and there in the very start. But now I have incited this no contact its been three days now. I do not know will she be back or not but your videos help me to be little stronger, where as I was feeling so lonely and down. Thank You
Longbyname - Thankyou mate shes being a bit flaky at the moment when I ask her out so I just said 'when your schedule is free contact me but we see each other every day when we take the children to school so I can start building up raport, when I was in nc we used to ignore each other but now she says hi and a little bit of conversation before we get on our way but shes doing 100% of the initiation not me so we will see where it goes from here
Sam Hines That’s awesome. Making small efforts. It’s like chopping down a large tree, eventually chipping away at it, it’ll come down (if that makes sense) but happy for you matey.
Guys no contact works. I reattracted 2 exes to my life even if I fucked up by begged or pleaded. I am in process of reattracting a 3rd ex. All of the tree females. For this third I did not beg or pleaded like the other two so I feel positive she will come back. Recently she strated to like my insta posts like the other girls did. Females all act similar, the respond good to strenght and emotional self control. Walk away and never look back and eventually they will contact you when they see that you have improved your life and having a blast without them.
Hi Coach Lee, It would be nice to hear your insights on relationships with multiple breakups! Maybe in a future video? We had a few short and then one long (8 months) breakup, I watched your videos and worked on myself a lot. Now we were back together for half a year again. But apparently my SO holds some grudge and fears from the previous realtionship and we are not talking for a few weeks again. These 6 months were much better than previous relationship and it was a bit of a shock that he has doubts again. I am so tired of these cycles. J
I am a woman, and I can tell you HECK YES it works on us..
Yep, it sure does! The only clincher is if she really cares about you, it will work. If she doesn’t and knows you’re not good for her, it won’t bother her at all.
I personally think your name is very attractive Mia I like that, the funny part is your commentary is 5 months old, your commentary gave me hope thank you for your sincere words
What do u feel when that happens?
@David Bryant shes the moody type she il undo the things she did shes beeing a kid
K. What if she was completely in to you but bothered or troubled by an ex wife which I have kids with attempting to make my life hard from time to time but to no success? She believes that there may be problems in the future but ive attempted to reassure that it will never be an issue. Then got ghosted after 6 solid months of nothing but beautiful memories, not 1 argument and nothing but good times. Been in NC for almost 2 weeks now. Have mutual friends as well.
So many fake and scammer ‘coaches’ out there, but this gentleman is definitely for real. Very wise. My ex dumped me three (!) times. In the last time, I took it well, serenely, and said if that was her decision, I would close that chapter in my life for good. Did ‘radio-silence’ no contact (whilst suffering a lot of pain), and guess what? She wants to come back after 11 months. Strangely, after her telling me that she had already had another boyfriend and even travelled overseas with him, my feelings for her went numb. And now I don’t want anything to do with her anymore. People are strange and human beings are complicated.
3 times?! You must be a glutton for punishment. Lose the yo-yo. You deserve better.
@@dragoncult666 Love will do that 😉
@@dragoncult666 lay off. He did what anyone would do given his life experiences.
Proud of you
I feel you. Something like that happened to me too. And even if i wanted to get back to her i couldn't knowing she was with other guy. I still love her but just couldn't let her into my life
You are right. No Contact also works for women and how it works. It only doesn't work if you've done something bad to a woman or treated her very disrespectfully over a long period of time. If that's not the case and she still has feelings, it works. The best and only way to know if there are still feelings is and remains no contact. But most men are too weak and impatient and give in, and women know that, so they wait longer than a man would. But when a man sets himself the goal of going into no contact forever, he pursues this goal. And she will get in touch 100%. I've been through a few no contact phases. The shortest was a week and the longest 1.5 years. I had no contact phases of 3 weeks, one month and 3 months. I persevered each time and she came back. It always works. You just can't believe that women are stronger. They are not, they are weaker but more patient. But at some point even they run out of patience. That's the way it is.
The biggest difference is that even unattractive women have more sexual/romantic options than very attractive men, so that’s why they can afford to be “patient”
Thanks I almost messaged her!
Coach Lee
Even if the no contact rule doesn't work in my case, you gave me faith during hard times in my life. I believe you sincerely try to help, and I appreciate it.
I changed my approach to my break up. Instead of fighting for her back, I went for change first and then for her.
P.S. The fact that you are so calmed made me feel calm. Thankyou.
How are you and did u get ur ex back?
I did not. But please keep reading.
After the break up, I was devastated. I stayed in bed all day watching videos from Coach Lee. Reading about others situations, calculating my chances (Long distance relationship), and they were very low. I even called her after a week telling her that I had learned from my mistakes. I was begging her for a second chance.
I decided to follow the no contact rule. After 60 days, I contacted her again. She was happy to hear from me, but I started begging again, and she had to let me go.
I was devastated, my family eventually noticed and got worried. I stopped eating and became a memory junky.
I was in a very dark place.
I then decided to really use the no contact rule. What else do I have to lose? I had hit rock bottom, I was an embarrassment.
I then found Coach Corey Wayne's work. "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne. The book is completely free. I was so impressed, I even bought it. That's when my self improvement journey began.
After reading the book, I made new goals in life. I worked out, focused in college and worked. I wanted to be the best man I could be. I worked out 5 times a week for a year. I read many more books, such as "How to Make Friends and Influence Others" and started improving my social skills. I also read "How to Break the Habit of Being Myself". I was devoted to become the best version of myself. I also started listening to Alan Watts and understand the nature of ourselfs. This helped me understand why the no contact rule was so important. Here's the hint: Wu wey. But I would still recomend listening to his spiritual guidance. Allan Watts is very funny in his lectures.
So I kept working out harder, studied harder, read more, made more improvements every day. I cried whenever she came back to my mind. The thoughts of her rejection made me push harder into becoming stronger. I would every now and then hear from her, how she didn't seem to care much. How her life was so much better without me. So I did 10 more reps on the bench press while I was broken on the inside. I made enough money to change my ugly minivan for a Honda Civic '13. It wasn't much, but it was definitely and improvement.
After a year and 3 months, started noticing I was getting way more attention from the girls in my classes. Even girls on facebook started random conversations with me. (I was not bragging my improvement, I guess the time was just right). Then I got a message.
It was a cute girl I liked in highschool. We started talking and I found out how much of an amazing time we were spending together. I thought about my ex.
I kept working out, but then the coronavirus happened. I couldn't just let go of my goals, I worked out home, kept reading books and slowly but steadily, the memory about my ex faded away.
I then decided that a year was enough. I must let her go.
She and I would talk all night, she would listen to me whenever I had hard times. She was there for me even when I stopped believing in myself. She was an amazing girl. I eventually decided. We should start dating.
A few weeks later, I was on my way to ask her to be my girlfriend. And just like in the movies, my ex called. She wanted to get back together.
It was hard, since I spent this whole year and a half self improving for the day she came back. Then I though about how this would hurt the girl I was dating.
So, I decided.
I had to let her go.
My ex had her chance, and she blew it. Also, I like this girl alot, and she believes in me.
Here's my advice for you. Don't beg anymore, become a better person. This might just the wake up signal to become the best version of yourself. The time for you to become who you deserve to be.
I again want to thank Coach Lee for all his amazing advice, his videos helped me a lot when I had no one.
I wish you the best of luck. Be strong. And when you are about to break, watch Coach Lee's videos for surviving the No contact rule. Believe me, it is indeed the best you can do.
@@RETRODISTORT lovely story bro, glad to hear you improved upon urself and that everything changed for better
Retro I cried reading your message.. I wish you all the best man ❤️
@@RETRODISTORT wow man, I'm surprised, I'm currently doing NC and this is inspiring. Good Luck to you with this new girl
Coach apologize to ABSOLUTELY nobody. You are the best coach.
Coach Lee, without you, I wouldn't have made it through the past 3 months, exactly, today. I watched, I listened, I posted and replied to comments. I have been that person curled up in a ball crying on the floor. I have felt everything you've said. I've learned how to be a better ME. If you're a new watcher, watch all the videos. This is No Contact time, watch the videos, cry, scream, get back to you. Eat, sleep, life is short. I cannot tell you it doesn't hurt, but I can tell you that you, somehow, will find a way to deal with this. We have life experiences, you are not wise right now - read, cry, puke your guts out over the loss. Right now, after 3 months, I'm at peace. Thank you Coach Lee, and everyone I've interacted with in comments. btw, I'm 48, been through this so many times, but each time is unique, and you will pick yourself up again. Peace.
Great comment. I was counting every day but stopped around day 60. It's getting close to 3 months now and I am finally feeling like my old self.I never thought I would be saying that a couple months ago. It felt like my entire life was washed away....but ... I worked my butt off these past couple months and just bought a nice BMW! Life is good!
2 years after original post I'm watching this...Coach Lee, it's all proven correct. You've since refined your message and grown tremendously in confidence and following...because you're right. It all boils down to Work On Yourself. You've put your heart on the line and got stomped. Pick yourself up, deal with the pain, GROW and then when it cycles back around you will have a CHOICE! You'll be a fuller, seasoned, more confident human being. And if then you BOTH decide it was meant to be. And if not you're continuing on your journey a stronger, fuller, more mature ready for real love person. Believe in yourself.
Was in a relationship with her for 9 months and was blindsided by the breakup. I begged and pleaded for a week, even dropped off flowers with a hand written note saying that I loved her for the first time. I even accepted friendship.
I know, looking back the cringe is real.
After a week of that, I saw these videos and went into no contact. Two weeks of no contact later she starts texting me and I respond casually. The next day she texts me I tell her I don’t want friendship anymore... she says she understands, that she misses me a ton, hopes she didn’t blow her chances with me and wants to hang out.
Yeah, I think no contact worked it’s magic, thanks coach! Any advice would be helpful for when we meet tomorrow, I plan on being casual, up beat and showing the new me I have been working on!
What if both are watching this video? I'm up shit creek.
Go SLOW! Talk, communicate, share fears and joys and dreams. You got a second chance buddy, most of us here haven't had that luck yet. Enjoy it, embrace it, and you both decide if it's worth it to continue on, or if ... yeah, it just wasn't meant to be. Don't force it, just flow with it.
go lucas!
Lucas Ellett all the luck to you man, and what was your reaction when she texted you after 2 weeks, you must have been happily jumping lol, and it must have been hard not to text her for 2 weeks too,
kk Uniyal I was so relieved when I saw she text me, even just at the notification. I sat back and had the biggest sigh of relief and smiled. I thought about how much I doubted all the “no contact” coaches and was amazed they were right.
Here is the update on what happened! So it was good, we caught up, laughed a lot and had fun. I could tell that she liked me, (all the subtle things us guys pick up on, the hair twirls, the way she looks at you, laughs at the stupidest things you say, more makeup than usual)
A few things stuck out though, she postponed what she was doing later to hang out with me longer, when I took her home I could tell she didn’t want to leave the car.. felt like she had a lot on her mind or was waiting for me to make the first move... but I didn’t. I figured i wasn’t going to chase in fear of pushing her away.
She said she was not ready for a relationship, I said that it’s okay, that I want one and if she ever wants to reach out then go for it. She is leaving for Illinois for the summer, I’ll actually be up there too with family. She said if we both are up there that we should hang out.
Her flight is tomorrow and I’m going back into no contact to work on myself.
Just don’t know if I should have made a move or let her go
Think I made the right move by not chasing
Quarantine makes it harder to stay in no contact
even worse when you're recovering from ankle surgery and cant walk for 6 weeks
all i can do is stay in bed with my foot up ...pills are nice
imagine if someone broke their dominate hand if ya know what im sayin
I did no contact for two months. I decided to reach out and she is cut off emotionally as a person. I decided that it’s time to move on because I can’t fix her emotional issues.
Yes, you got it. People need time, for themselves, to heal from stuff you probably don't even know about. Like Coach Lee said, you will never forget them, and likewise, they will never forget you. So, don't tarnish that image, you were a part of their lives, and if you just let it be ... maybe, they will remember you as one of the better part of their lives. Just wish them peace, wish them well, and yes, we all have to move on.
XtremeChiliPepper Well said. Her and I did have a wonderful relationship. I have no idea of all that had happened in her past that had made her emotionally cut off. I tried to lead by example to show love and care by expressing it. Also, it’s okay to be showing one’s heart if you are willing to trust. I do pray for her daily and wish that God will soften her heart and soul. I still miss her to this day.
@@JLayfield85 yeah, I understand. After spending 11 weeks calling off work, not eating, not sleeping, and these videos and supportive friends - I finally got it. I did all I could, more in 7 months than I've ever done in a life of gf's and even a divorce. I still talk to all but one of my ex's, and my ex-wife. But this latest one, she had nothing, I 'white knighted' (now that I know what that means), and didn't see her, for her, all the emotions going through. I left, over something so stupid, and now I lost my gf, but more importantly, my friend. I messed up, I will give her the space she needs. I needed to find me again too.
@@XtremeChiliPepper when will you nice guys learn hun?
@@mmarcjp5057 Life is grand lol!
My exgf broke up with me about 4 months ago, she wanted to stay friends and I eventually said no and went NC about 2 months ago. I was absolutely devastated, I had to seek help and take some time off work, i was a complete fucking mess 😂. I absolutely loved this girl and was going to propose to her but now I'm doing great! I have lost nearly 40lbs, doing well financially, even found a new hobby that I am passionate about. Now I realize that I am happy without her and that I dont need her or anyone to make me feel fulfilled, this is a great feeling, its like I've taken complete control of my life even found out that I was in a toxic relationship with her, turns out she is a complete Narcissist with suicidal tendencies, this explained soo much and the pieces fit, never will I let someone control my life like how she did, I am a much stronger person from it. Your videos and other channels really helped, thanks for the great content.
Day 8 of no contact. I watch your videos everyday, so encouraging, consistent, lots of detail, and really keeps me strong. I completely doubt she will ever contact me but I deserve more respect and appreciation than I was getting. I'd rather walk away than to stick around and be disrespected
Alexkamaal day 2 here, being disrespected is not worth it, we are worth more than that buddy
How are you both getting on? I would be roughly in the same point of no contact as you two if they havent reached out by now. I am on day 63.
Lonely Guy I got a new gf. I forgot all about her until you wrote that comment 😂😂😂😂
@@AlexanderBeenGreat Good that you moved on. Did she ever get in touch with you though?
Lonely Guy yeah but I didn't want her
U have stopped my depression state like I stopped crying after a week that’s when I found your channel and I’m so greatful for finding you
You are a genius! You are most probably the “realest” coach I’ve watched. Thank you coach Lee!
When if the girl did the break up and she was so heartless
Truly gutted it doesn't work on smurfs.. thankyou coach lee really needed this video today.
I've been 3.5 weeks no contact with her today and heard nothing.
I'm just focusing on me and my goals,work, friends and family. Thankyou
Coach Lee, I’m not coming across as an arse kisser but no contact rule is a godsend but at the same time, it feels like we’re doing nothing. So many other coaches say you’ve gotta reach out and what not..... but it’s gotta come from them at the end of the day.
I’ve read up on your website and you’ve stated it grows in strength with time but the anticipation is too much some days. Staying strong.
I can relate. I've been in a relationship for 3 years before she broke up with me. No logical reason, simply she was not involved anymore. "No problem when I'm with you, but I don't miss you when we're not together". I was so shocked, no one can prepare you to a similar sentence. I felt destroyed and I told her that even though I love her, I respect her decision and that she can't force herself to feel something she doesn't feel. She hugged me while we were both crying. I told her my hearth is still hers and then I decided to disappear. 2 weeks since, I miss her and I don't think she will ever come back. Our relationship was fantastic and I would do everything again, can't really explain the reasons she felt out of love. All I know is that in the last months I was not the strong man I used to. Staying no contact is the right choice for me to move on, I'm doing this for my self, I can't deny I have a little hope to reattract her again but if I can't I hope her to be good. I miss you R, thank you for everything, I will always be your number 1 supporter, even if you can't see me next to you.
Nick Fire What do you mean?
@@TheFedtennis update?
update
Important thing to remember guys.. no contact works in good ways and bad ways.
Example = my ex girlfriend who I’ve been in no contact now with for 8 weeks, rebounded straight into a relationship with my (now ex) best friend. She burnt the ultimate possible bridge ‘ back to me ‘ she knows that even if she did miss me and wanted to reach out, she literally can’t because of the carnage she left.
So depending on the relationship dynamics, sometimes it’ll work, sometimes not 🙏🏻
Sorry man. That's a double ultimate betrayals. Amazing how some people can push aside a friendship for a piece of ass. They'll both get Karma..!!
Day 8 of no contact and I have been unblocked from social sites without saying anything. Stay strong guys it works
10 days into no contact. Staying strong and hopeful. Thank you Coach !
Updates brother?
Twisted 420 We’ve spoke once in 2 months, still miss her, but I’ve been dating and moving on. Time heals all wounds. Thanks for checking up!
@@davidl6387 proud of you keep on going my dude stay strong.
Im on week 2 of nc and i can really feel you brother
Twisted 420 you too. I’ll check up on you in 2 months. Hope it does work out for you! Best advice is to find ways to distract yourself, being alone in your thoughts will make it so much worse.
@@twisted4207 what's the situation now brother??
Coach lee. I believe you have extensively covered no contact. Please do more videos on what to do when they reach out and relationships in general
Your videos are not only giving me hope and power for the hard time, but also realistic options for my life.
Im happy to watch more videos and thanks for your videos!!!
Today is June 1st. Been in NC since April 13th. She tried to break up with me January 11th and I wouldn’t have it. After a few months of her treating me bitterly I finally let her have what she asked for and was as kind and sincere as I could be. She was balling her eyes out the night I let her go at a park. We met at work and eventually became a couple, intertwining our lives as well as our family’s friendship together. After a year or so a new guy started where we work and ex ended up working with him permanently as our boss didn’t like us together and now had a reason. The guy and ex ended up becoming besties and she ended up telling me he was always going to mean more as a friend than me as a love. I asked the guys wife and my ex to ask him to respect the boundaries as I would find out they would go out to dinner and hangout on weekends while avoiding me finding out. I would watch this guy tickle my ex while his now ex wife and I watch in awe. Because I didn’t like this she distanced herself emotionally and physically, always had a reason to be away from me. It’s been over 45 days. I tried everything I could and the solutions she asked of me like making up plans to fix things and they were just never good enough. It felt like the last bit she got to say was pushing my head underwater to tell me that by the way it was all me. A month before that she said it was all about her. I just don’t understand the inhuman things that came out of her mouth when I was supposed to be the closest person by her side.
I’ve had 3-4 sessions with Coach Rex and they are indeed helpful. It doesn’t really change the hurt. We were together 2 years January 31st 2021. I really feel like I got disrespected and pushed into the dirt. My words didn’t matter and all the crappy things that were done like slowly excluding me from everything and ripping off the label. She would “let” me come over basically saying I don’t care if I wanted to spend time together or see the puppy we got together. There was times she treated me like CRAP and ignored me in front of family and friends. I thought I had a woman that was going to give the other 100% I needed and was convinced I had found her. Should I reach out? Should I wait?
I’ve been working out and trying to work on my physique trying to get my mind off of this never ending mess. Building muscle and toning. I realized I was not eating enough by far. I have noticed she watched one of my rare snapchat stories but that’s about it. I let our 842 day streak end a few days after I was forced to let her go April 13th. I could tell ther bothered her and she said she would just talk to me when I was ready to talk to her. Taking the streak end as an insult. I couldn’t ever bring up something she did that bothered me as it always turned into me wanting the perfect girlfriend and she messed everything up. I got gas lit… from what it looks like on old work group chats (I got a way better job right after the Jan 11th breakup attempt) she has having fun with him and is just fine and dandy goofing around with him and others. This guy divorced his wife around the same time as our breakup and it is too coincidental not to assume they had something. I always got the just friends excuse no matter if it was them tickling each other or him taking pictures of my girlfriend right in front of me and his wife. She said screw it and moved back halfway across the country where they came from. They were married 7 years and then entered my world….when things started to go sour my ex started talking about moving with her parents to Indiana this year after her grandparents who they care for pass on. I miss this entire family and I don’t know how they feel about the way she acted. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t want the opportunity to disappear and reappear in 10 years with another guy and kids.
Coach Lee keeping it real. I love it. The psychology and emotions of the human race dictates responses. This is something that Coach Lee truly understands and possesses experience in. Thank you coach.
idk if i did no contact wrong but it didn't work to get my ex back. but your videos still really helped me during a hard time
I'm gonna show my ex that i am stronger then she thinks, I'm gonna show her that I'm not clingy or needy....i can want her but i dont need her!
Update?
Be careful, sometimes the no contact rule can make women hate you. It works, in the sense it will drive them crazy, but sometimes its not the emotion/response you want. If she's extremely prideful, stubborn, then it might make her hate you for good. Because the feeling of being ignored, definitely can be hurtful. Especially for strong headed and prideful women with emotional issues.. But if she's the one that did the breaking up, you have no choice and it can definitely work. As long as there's 'feelings'. Most the time there definitely is, especially if its a long relationship. If she just one day woke up and goes "what the hell am I doing with him", then nothing is going to work. She's glad you're gone.
@@grit1679 I don't want her anymore, but she wasn't a terrible person. She just is very stubborn, and yeah, that is frustrating. The no contact did work with her, but we went our separate ways. We just don't see things the same way and we are better off.
I got nothing personal against her. I still care for her. She's flawed though, so am I. We all are. We all have less than desirable traits, so I'm not going to hold things she has against her.
Overall, she is a good person, we just don't belong together.
@@godfather4377 so you do get back together at some point?
@@shirleybragat2773 yes
@@godfather4377are you still together or parted ways already?
The only true channel that gives you hope with doing the right thing. Thank you coach Lee, you’re the best to hear from.
It’s work! This guy knows what he is talking about.
Did no contact for 5 months we talked a few weekends ago keep in mind we have the same group of friends it felt so empowering not feeling anything while talking to her in person. She hasn't changed still doing the same shit the key to no contact is finding self love and who you are alone. We texted after let her know I would be come with catching up sometime and she said maybe sometime and that was it. Ive been in gym 5 days a week killing it and have met so many other girls just stay positive fellas dont buy into any bullshit female games
What happened?
Any updates
It works better on women…
Women respond to their emotions and how they feel in the moment. That’s why you can’t take their words seriously other than how they feel in the present moment.
The reach out ratio, for some reason, is incredibly important to a woman’s level of attraction. That’s to begin with, before even doing no contact.
Hard to get works better on women too. My level of attraction doesn’t change depending on on a women’s level of initiation, but mine changes for them depending on how much I reach out.
God bless you, I was weak for about a week but, saw this and it been a month and I been growing and getting stronger. I hope I hit her ego big time.
jack L how did it work out
I seriously hope it works on women. I want my wife back. We were together 25 years have 4 kids and a grandson. Travelled the world together and have so many memories. I adore the woman and love her so much. The separation was my fault for having depression and not admitting it and it pushed her away. I am now on the mend and feel great. Lost 2.5 stone ( loss of apatite) I begged for 7 weeks. Tried nc for a week and crumbled now on second nc and some days I'm great thinking I can move on the next day I'm in tears and I hate myself for it. I just need to get her back. Neither of us cheated just pushed her away
Hope things work out for you
Hope you are good.
1 week of no contact. Broken up for 2 months. But been back and fourth. Hit a breaking point and went no contact. I truly hope this works, I love her.
I'll never know if no contact works, my ex has no way to get in touch with me and I made sure of that , remember dating your ex again is like reheating fries.
I do agree about reheating fries, it has never, ever worked for me! But, just but, you've left an open door somewhere. I thought 3 days was forever. At 3 weeks I was dead. After 3 months, yeah, she's ok, so am I. If she contacts me, then I'm ok with a civil conversation. If not, like I said, I found my peace - we all do what we gotta do.
Steve Dunn mind if I ask why you watched this video?
@@anne-marieevans2406 just curious, plus I actually enjoy reading the comments more than the videos.
@@XtremeChiliPepper if she did you wrong I honestly wouldn't be civil with her, like he said it's just feeding Their ego, my ex was extremely toxic so I had to cut her off completely and I also found my peace
Steve Dunn then why you here then
This man is genuine. I appreciate what he's doing.. of you've been there on those places.. you know
So, last week she broke up with me through text. She was like, Hey, how are you? So I've been thinking about it and I think it's best for us to just go separate ways. I think it's the best for us. I appreciate the effort that you put on in our relationship and for the happiness that you brought to my life. I don't hold a grudge against you and if you ever need help you know that I'm here for you. And thankfully after watching all of these videos I replied to her with "I agree with you on this. I respect your decision. Take care" she obviously told me she needed some time before this whereas I pleaded and begged her to not do this to me. I told her we could work things out but it obviously didn't change her mind. Now my question is, what did her message really mean? As you can see I gave her the break up and the space by replying with that. Let me know what do you guys think. Btw, I'm doing fine ever since the break, I had the chance to see things from a different point of view. Which made me realize that it was possibly that she was going to break up with me. Thankfully I came across with Coach Craig and Coach Lee. But yeah let me guys know what you guys think. :)
I've been on no contact ever since she asked for a break so I have a good headstart which I feel great and very proud of making that decision.
Hello, not sure when your last edit was done, but care to share how you are doing now? The way you worded her break up message sounds so similar to what I received.
update? how you are doing now?
Fawk that Coach, it works. I followed 0ver half of what you said and she has turned her attention back to me. My growth caused problems with her rebound. Being 15 pounds lighter and coutinued mental stability, and a rediscovered Swag, Shes on her way back. It works !!
Update: I dont want reconciliation. She has not grown. We talked and she lied about some important things but I didnt tell her I knew the truth. I think its over because I cant be with who the person she is. I realized this is who shes always been. Im moving on. Thanks CoachLee. Your videos assisted me to move into a new mental and physical space. Your vids picked me up off the ground literally!! I went from watching in a fetal position sobbing, to listening while walking and running 6 to 8 miles a day. Much respect
Coach Lee you have no idea how much you’ve taught me about relationships. Forever grateful for your videos and priceless insight 🙏🏾
Went no contact for 15 days. She called and ask for a couple things she had left. Then tries to start a argument accusing me of everything . WTF ?? !!!!!
That’s because she still loves you
@@hefhefner3507 She's testing you because she still loves you. You need to stay calm or even ignore her in order to pass the test.
I spent weeks begging and pleading. So I have probably damaged my chances to the point of no return 😢🤦🏻♂️, but after watching coach Lee’s videos I am now on day 15 of no contact and still now and then feel like I should reach out. But I don’t I just keep watching these videos, working out, playing music and seeing friends and family. I genuinely love my ex and would be over the moon to have her back. If its not meant to be then hey at least I know I done what I should to at least try. And I’ll always wish her all the best.
Any update on this?
Update??
???
“I’m not mad at you, you’re just someone that came in my life to teach me a lesson”
Blocked
This way all said in August
She ain’t coming back
NO. If I broke up with a guy and he doesn’t contact me and apologise after he fucked up, there is no way I’m chasing him - I’m giving him the breakup and letting him go, forever. If he contacted some and apologised, I might take him back, depending on the issue.
If I was the one who stuffed up, then I would just apologise.
Has this work for you before? Going through it now women we put up with so much til the straw breaks the camels back
@@angelabvlogs5490 yes it works depending on the situation and the person. Sometimes they’ve come back after a year, sometimes after 2 weeks. One came back after 15 years. Letting them back however, has never worked out because they didn’t work on themselves enough to not let the issues happen again.
No contact does not work ON me though because I am too stubborn and prideful. If you walk away from me or let the relationship go that easily I am in the mindset that it’s 100% over and no looking back. If you come back to me and apologise and show me how things will be different, I will give benefit of the doubt a chance because no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes it’s not a mistake but it’s a character flaw and you decide to walk away, or let it go put up with it and stop complaining.
Just had an ex girlfriend reach out to me after almost 3 years of NC I feel the only way an ex won’t reach out to you man or woman is if life is better without you now if it is except that move on and better yourself no matter what but if life isn’t better without you and you two had a decent loving relationship with no animosity then they may try and resurface at some point always focus on what you can control and that is yourself
that is one LONG sentence, but yes, I believe that too - true love is forever. Had many gf's, all special, still talk to most of them, but I just haven't found the ONE yet. They were all cool, then, at that time.
XtremeChiliPepper it is a long death sentence if you’re sitting around waiting for them to reach out I’m in a better place emotionally with that ex currently going through another break up right now but her reaching out to me was a nice ego stroke I’ll tell you that haha!
@@rickychairez1 I wasn't saying to sit around and wait. Just knowing it wasn't right, it ended, maybe in 2 years ... yeah, that's all good. It's the next day that kills, the next few days of panic, the next whenever that scares us the most. Put ego aside, nice to to know they missed you, yeah. Nice if you can accept how much they hurt too, if not more. You'll never know, so be kind, civil.
XtremeChiliPepper I have a long history with her never no hard feelings always take my losses like a man wish her happiness and nothing less just wasn’t the guy to do that for her
No contact definitely works on a woman. I can tell from my own experience. However, it is contingent on what level (type) of relationship you had before it happened. It would more likely work if the relationship was a serious and committed one which ended due to the woman's own faults or in my case, the woman ended it (by mistake). However, it won't work ( at least for me) if the relationship was at the beginning and never had the chance to go into any deeper level. If the man has been sketchy from the beginning and seems to play mind games, no contact definitely accelerates woman totally forget about the man and just move on. no bugs to deal with, so good and quiet that way.
Hi, I dated for 4 weeks with a girl I thought I liked her so much. Since date 1 we had sex, bj's. We went out for dinners, clubs, movies. All 4 dates we had sex and bj's. She was always playfull and we banted each other a lot, we have lot of laughs and had very nice time. By 4 week I started to become clingy, I just fall for her bc I liked her so much. But she told me that she didn't want any serious relationship with me and wanted to keep this as it were going. But that was all. We haven't met since. She texted me after 3 weeks to ask for me and how I was going. The, I tried to get a date 2 times, but no success. Now I've been nc for 1 month today. Trying to help myself and forget about her but deep inside wating for her to contact me.
Mauricio Lancheros date other women, if she comes back then great! If not then that’s fine too!
@@mr.know_it_all that's what I am doing, there are plenty of fish in the sea
What about if the relationship was almost for five years? Can you provide some advice for men (such as myself) in this situation?
Mauricio Lancheros update ? Did she eventually come back again? Your situation sounds like mine except it was longer
My ex came back 6 months after no contact. But I send him to hell. Excuses for me without changes is just manipulation. I couldn’t give him a chance.
What changes didn’t he show
Bryan Union no changes. He just closed his mouth and went away again.
_ BUDDHA _ i just don’t care anymore. Don’t even have his phone number
_ BUDDHA _ and I’m happy that I realized that I made the right decision on dumping him. He will never change. He doesn’t fit in my life anymore
_ BUDDHA _ 🤗 hugs from Brazil! And in the end everything is gonna be alright
I SO needed to hear this Coach Lee. You are amazing! You are the man. You have literally saved me mate :)
Found his videos after I crashed into 3 weeks after breakup. Totally agree! I did donate, and will again if I EVER need internet help again!
Thank you for your your amazing experience that you are willing to share.
God bless you.
If it wasn’t for your videos, my level of depression would be much higher.
Bad evil people kept on pressuring her to distant herself from me despite the fact that herself was the one reminding me how a women would want to be with me for what I have to offer.
Similar situation. What happened?
I've had no contact work twice on women and fail once. There are way too many factors to definitively say whether it will not work on any individual.
Coach please don't delay in posting the videos
I’m not your buddy! Unless I’m your buddy… in that case, hey buddy! 😂
Your videos are awesome and they have helped me take a very close look at “reality” I absolutely appreciate these videos!
Yes, it works on us . It drives me crazy 🤣
It worked with a girl I dated only once. She was nice and all, but she just wasn't feeling it. Fast forward 3 months of NC, she sent me a message to meet again. Too bad I was too busy with another girl...
Coach Lee
I begged & Pleaded in the beginning for about a month with some space of time between 3-7 days because Dan Bacon said to do it, (Wasn’t exactly begging though, I was more showing off & trying to talk my way in)
I called her and did exactly what Dan Bacon said but instead of getting her back she got angry, cold & really mean
Horrible advice that guy gives
(DO NOT CONTACT YOUR EX BEFORE THEY CONTACT YOU or wait about 2 months & be casual about it)
I’ve watched countless of your videos & I’ve started no contact, it is going to turn in 9 days now with NC
Her birthday is in 2 days, I’m going to send a card & wish her happy birthday but just that, I really appreciate your content & your videos, Thank you so much man!
You really helped me out! I cannot describe my gratitude even IF she does not contact me you really helped
I hope it works
Don't send her a birthday card
I wish I had discovered you a couple of weeks ago. You're really wise person. God bless you. You're helping me alot.
I was dumped when I was about 23. It was definitely a hit to the ego. She was really bad. Broke up with me every two weeks over jealousy or silly things. She was VERY jealous, irrationally jealous. A girl could walk in front of me and she would get mad, and I'm not even slightly exaggerating. She was a splitter, she either loved me or hated me. She couldn't just argue, she had to turn it into a mess. You could never take her someplace, like a family camping trip, or anything. She would either run off into the night while camping, or she would demand I give her change to call her parent to take her home. It was very embarrassing and emotionally abusive. She was also a mess. She cut school when we were in high school, and she wasn't always reliable with jobs either. The jobs she didn't flake on, they would have to cut her slack because she might come to work high. That's another thing. I was straight laced and I didn't know she was into all that crap. She also broke up with me and got back with me. She said she was never REALLY interested in the guy she was leaving me for, yet she admitted that he flaked on her the first time he was supposed to come over. I think she just got molded and I should not have taken her back at that time. She was sneaky, dishonest, and very manipulative. I was weak at that point in my life. I didn't leave because I was attached but I wanted out. Eventually she got a job with lots of interested guys. She claims she broke up with me first before dating but that's meaningless considering she was obviously around men she wanted to date. She got with a guy and sometime within the year, she was pregnant. I knew it was over after that. I remained no contact with her, but in my case it didn't work because she was with someone and they had a kid. She did however recontact me 19 years later on Facebook. She's still with the same guy, which makes me look like the messed up one. He is basically a simp with low standards and always tells her how much she means to him, plus she's more or less hit the wall. It still makes me angry when she says I just wasn't as forgiving as him, and she left because we didn't get along anyway. She left because she made it impossible for us to get along and because she wasn't faithful. She wouldn't cheat that I know of, but monkey branching is still cheating. I think she was as jealous as she was because she was the one dishonest. Anyway, life is not fair. I was mistreated by her. I should be the one happy and in a relationship, showing her where behaving correctly will get her in life. Instead I'm the bitter guy who just wasn't forgiving enough, and that's why she loves her current husband oh so much. Long story short, even in my situation, no contact worked some. But honestly I'm glad she's gone. I'm only disappointed for wasting time and that I remained faithful to a woman who was only using me to keep her company until a better offer was nearby. It was a waste of time and a big disappointment, but I didn't lose anything.
I'm on day 7 of a breakup and now going full no contact, I sent a message wishing her the best and thought we were on to something special but understand she couldn't get past the previous issues of trust that there were (her end not mine). I hope this no contact works. I'll update in a few months time. We were together for 3 years with a small break last year (although we were always in contact and I broke it off). She broke it off this time. Fingers crossed she comes back although I already feel a bit better and have started going to the gym and being more positive in life. Let's see what happens
How you getting on?
@@TylerSmith-dx8pb absolutely amazing, moved on, back on dating, feeling absolutely amazing in myself and taking it very slowly with a lovely lady 4 years younger than myself.
@@djjamiec2011 I'm happy for you🤘👌🔥🔥🔥
I was the dumper once. He was smothering me with phone calls, text messages and social media, there was no balance. No free moment to myself. It took me a year and half to contact him when a mutual friend of ours was on life support. I had to contact him to tell him. While we never talked in detail about our NC I did apologize to him for how things ended. I realized when our friend almost died that our lives are short and I definitely owed him an apology. We’re not back together, we don’t text or call often but we are friends. But than again my reasoning for contact wasn’t to re-establish a relationship but make amends.
No, to be in peace with you. That's selfish.
NC may work under normal circumstances, but if your partner is diagnoses with bi-polar disorder or BPD they move on much quicker as a result of their unbalanced brain activity and hormones. They are far more impulsive. A two week NC period for them can be equivalent to a normal person being in NC for 6 weeks. In two weeks my ex met someone else, moved across the country for them one month later. And 3 weeks after that they ended up getting a new apartment together. I can assume a quick engagement and a marriage soon there after. So if they have any mental health issues, after one week you better be up their ass showing you love them because they move on real quick
I’m really trying to hold strong at the moment on this. I reached out after 7 days to congratulate her on her first day of teaching, she said thank you an hope I was doing well. I replied “I’m good hope you are well also have a good day” and now I’m back to 4 days NC. Today I almost caved but the videos clear my head hopefully this works.
I think that no contact works ESPECIALLY on women. The man's mind is programmed to focus on one thing - so if he was dumped by a woman, he would be broken for about 2-3 weeks, thinking and overanalyzing. Then he starts to raising up from the ashes and thinking less and less. The woman's mind is focused on many things - so she falls in love slower - because she isn't thinking about her man all the time. When she dumps a man, she feels freedom, focuses on friends, job, travels, etc. But after amount of time (which is 2 weeks- one month) she starts to think about her ex boy, and that's where the adventure begins :) One of my exes reached out to me after half a year! (but I wasn't interested anymore on that time)
Agree.. women are very emotional and the fading effect bias hits them hard. That’s why they stay in even terrible relationships.
@@axelbriggjern3534 It’s started to take effect on my ex within a week. She’s trying to indirectly get my attention after splitting up because of being taken for granted.
@@axelbriggjern3534 she caught me sexting so idk if no contact is a good idea
Coach Lee you are so right. NC is a powerful way. Thank you and accept my small tips!
I am one week in, this is the part that sucks. I've never no contacted someone I love as dearly as i do her. I've no contacted causal gf's, and it's insane how they can't get enough of you, when they are not sure of your feelings. People want what they can't have. I'm sure this will work. If not, i walk away with dignity and self respect.
update
@@gagsjjmomom9014 I have only had contact in early June to pick up my engagement ring. Proceeded to throw into a river as i drove over a bridge, 5 minutes from her house. I want nothing to do with her. I have done some light dating, but have found one now that has my full attention. It is reciprocal. Taking it slow. Don't know where it will go, but i know that i won't be treated like i was before. As for the ex, she keeps tabs on me thru friends and social media, and I don't care what she sees. I walked away like a man, will continue to be that way. I wished her the best. It takes a while to get the self confidence back, but i did. :)
Thanks for everything Coach. Your attitude and mindset is overwhelming in a good sense of word, and even though I do not know you personally, I feel like I could trust you more than my family members! Thanks for releasing these videos and helping us. A quick suggestion, I'd love if you posted a new video on "being blocked" topic. All the best!
This guy is complicated....he is the most intense, laid back guy I have ever seen.
I'm addicted to your background music
your one of the best , if not the best, compassion, strength, realness, - Real talk
Remove yourself from her life in terms of contact, but still be there and try and improve yourself all the time and remind her whats shes missing subconsciously
Here's the bottomline fellas... and I can see that many of you are confused on this:
If, when she broke it off, she was still in love with you, she'll DEFINITELY come back... providing you implement the NC rule.
But, if her interest in you had moved to zero (emotionally), then she'll NEVER come back... no matter what you do.
The more she loved you (at breakup), the higher the chances of her returning... its a scale...
You can work out the rest.
I guess that a woman will miss her ex boyfriend but then when she remembers the reason why she broke up with him, if she is wise, she will know better not to continue the broken relationship.
Break-up happened for a reason (say, she didn't feel loved, accepted, trusted, appreciated, supported, etc. And there was abuse, cheating, dishonesty, lies involved and there is lack of moral values. Or he is not the man that she wanted for herself.)
You know the reason why break-up occurred and if it is irrecoverable or not salvageable, use "no-contact" To heal yourself and then improve yourself and find another girl. 🙂
If it is just small misunderstanding and anger and out-of-control burst of emotions, then no-contact will work for sure. 😄 Time (few days) makes us forget the minor mistakes.
But if she feels that there is no chance of marrying you, she will move on too. So don't waste time waiting, just move on. Pain will go away
Hi Cynthia..i need women advice if can help me out... My on and off Gf couldnt sleep at night , and affecting her mental health….should I pull away or show my love or care by initiating contact? She didn’t text me for 36days
She also having problem with Neck Degeneration and back pain..she is in her Menopause age…
Should I be more caring like a Beta or I should Dont care like Alpha to just respond only when she reach out
She want to do her own thing and I wonder whether am I the part time bf or she only need me when she want to ?
I tried to arrange appointment with Doctors…she rather go on her own but medicine or gynae or chiropractic couldnt help her …she blame me is the source of her Mental Stress by me wanting her to put more effort on our relationship she feel pressure till she break down telling me she need rest..i told her she need Love but she said she want peace and to heal on her own..
How to save the relationship with a gf having Menopause and Medical and Mental health ?
Today is Day 36 No Contact
She said if she miss me she will contact me
Ex gf and I broke up last week and I am on day 2 of no contact. Will update in the future if anything changes! Thank you Lee!
how is it going mate
Maza maker still nothing
USAFREEKICKZ still nothing?
@@coconuthead8303 No sorry. I know its hard to hear but for me it was just best to move on. Im doing so good right now and if she wanted me back, I wouldnt take her back!
@@SOCCERxPRO18 I am glad you have that new mindset
This video was so honest. Just what I needed, thank you Lee :)
After 9 days of nc I caved and talked to her. I apologized with the clean slate message and brought up I was reminded of her when I stopped for icecream because the last time I was there was with her and we had a great day that day. Asked her to call me after work and she did. I ended up telling her I still loved her and asked if it was really her needing to focus on herself and not make others happy but her happy. She started to tear up over the phone and said absolutely and she would not lie to me like that and said she still loved me and started to cry. I told her I was sorry for bringing it up but it gnawed at me since that day when we were both very emotional. I don't know what to do besides go back into NC. I told her I truly do respect her decision to break up and to take care and she said the same crying.
It doesn't work on Smurfs lmao Coach Lee is a G
Currently, on day 11 of no contact, we were together for 5 years so I'm hoping for something back. holding strong till Christmas as I think she might message. Time will tell
Yes it works on women...I'm going nuts with depression and curiosity
Hi Linda ...may I ask ...you broke up with your bf ? Now u are in Depression ..but why did u decided to leave and now u wanted him back ?
My ex gf broke up with me 2 days before my birthday. May 6th. She texted me on my birthday saying that she hopes I don’t hate her. 2 days later I went to her place just to talk. We talked for like an hour and a half. Pretty much told her I don’t hate her and to feel free to reach out and I said this isn’t me begging just getting more closure. She cried the whole time. She still loves me. I know it. She’s just confused. I have been no contact since. We never fought in our relationship and the break up was pretty much a blindside. She said she would come get her things that following Monday. She never came. I think that’s a good sign. Then yesterday she deleted a picture of us off of Instagram. Yet others of us remain up. I remain strong and I haven’t contacted her about any of this. I take it as a good sign and that she is thinking about me. She only deleted that photo to avoid the memory of our first date.
In the same position, same outcome too! Unreal....
Nick Fire does my situation seem hopeful?
Day 56, we'll see......I am losing hope, just trying to move on, don't think she will reach out.
you should have moved on by now. why are you waiting?
Well, i am nearly to that point. I told myself that she has 2 months, after that my life will no longer be on hold for her. I am certainly 1000 times better than I was right after she dumped me, that is for sure. Time heals all. I've never really beaten myself up over losing a girl before the way this one did, but you live, learn, and become a better stronger version of yourself so it doesn't happen again.
Sagan Worshipper trust me I get it. 2 months was generous. Two weeks at most my friend. Date date and date some more. Fck what anyone says about moving on right away. They have no clue wtf they are talking about. Do what’s best for you and succeed!
Here's the thing about this particular girl. Met her about 9 years ago. At that time she was married and thinking of getting a divorce. We saw each other for about a year, behind her husbands back, albeit it was just for coffee once in awhile. I started to develop strong feelings for her and I told her. She decided that she was going to try and salvage her marriage so I stopped seeing her. We stayed in contact over the years via email maybe once a year just to say happy new year etc. About 6 months ago she tells me she left her husband, bought a house, and her divorce was almost final. We started to see each other. Things moved quickly. We started sleeping together almost immediately. About 2 months in her divorce got finalized. Right after that is when she started acting differently. I got the "I think I need space" deal. Said she needs time to "mourn her failed marriage". That is somewhat understandable, I mean they were married for 15 years, but it definitely caught me off guard because everything seemed to be going great, but looking back, I see where I went wrong. I was over invested, over texted, over zealous, when i should have been taking it slow. I know those things killed the attraction. I was hopeful that this time apart would make her come around, but so far nothing. So in all it just kills me that after wanting her for all these years and finally getting her, and then I feel like I blew it, if you know what I mean. Alas, if it is meant to be, then it will eventually happen, but if not, I at least got some nice memories out of the deal. But like I said, we've been in communication for almost 10 years and even if most of that time was just as friends, I can't imagine her just disappearing for good. It sucked bigtime at first but I am fine now. I will soon start dating again and who knows, maybe find someone even better. Wish me luck. Thanks for the chat.
Sagan Worshipper this is an easy one. She is obviously vascular in between you and the ex. You need to totally walk away and mean it. I guarantee in time she will reach out. For now keep dating. Stop putting timelines and frames on everything.
The coach was fired up in this video
Just found your videos. Break up is after 3 years. I started the first week and a half off poorly. Trying to stay no contact going forward, on day 3 now.
I would like to see a video about once your ex starts reaching out how you should best respond depending on how pushy/light they seem to be with their first contacts...
I have a video on that. Important to watch all the way to the end: ruclips.net/video/Ym2J882n5JA/видео.html
I put my ego aside and apologized for things I've said in anger... however, she's the one who kept putting me in anxiety holes. Kept walking all over me and not taking me seriously, and it's been 5 and a half years we've been together. She broke up with me. But her mom died of cancer not too long ago and her dad has it now, who she had daddy issues with. Which is why I thin she kept repeating things she knew would make me anxious... I'm not chasing my best friend, but I do want to be with her because I understand her stance on everything, but I will not allow those things to keep happening over and over. So, I'm in NC day 3. At this point, it hurts because her dogs here with me. Rabbit too. TVs, dressers, now she could be planning on getting it all out, or not, either way it can't be my problem anymore. I took her in when her dad sold the house, and she lived with me for some years. We were great aside those specific things that were just not right.... one thing was she goes out with her friend Vinny, who I know from her and has never given me reason to think he wants her. Treats her like a brother. But she would go to hang with him, and say I'll be home by 8 or 9. I'm cool with it. But she kept not answering me for hours, not telling me shes coming home at 1 am, not answering me when shes with another guy, of course I'm pissed. But I told her 3 times nicely to pleasestop, she said ok and didn't. I bottled that up, also, she makes friends with a guy online who is freshly divorced and into her favorite musician, so they began talking and she even showed me messages. Told her I wasn't comfortable. she kept going.... then gifts start arriving at my house, I'm like ok this I'd wrong. Bottled that up. Also, drinking and driving. I tell her if you're drunk call me I'll pick you up because I don't want her getting hurt or losing her license or hurting someone else. Does it 3 times, I asked nicely to please stop, she didn't.... bottled that up. Lies telling me she didn't drink, wreaks of alcohol, which she doesn't drink often, says 1 beer, then it's 2, then 4
..
I finally snapped. I let her have it. I yelled, I said things I shouldn't have, but what the hell am I supposed to do!!!??? I put up with it and said I wasn't ok with it and she kept going. So I tried the quiet game, let her figure you out, tried talking maturely, doesn't work, so I snapped. I didn't abuse her, god no, I just yelled because as I'm trying to get my life together, we both escaped addiction together successfully, she acts like she wasn't using with me. Bound to the bed, not wanting to do anything, both are broke, then makes it seem like I should have been more taking her out and getting her gifts, but why would I do that when she can't even take me seriously? So 7 days ago, she breaks up with me. Comes back 2 days later after NC crying for me. Then 3 days later, says I can't do this right now, with everything going on" I just gave her the breakup....
No contact. But trying to move on. I just, 5 and a half years, she's still my best friend and I want to protect her as she was physically abused in the past... my whole family protects her.. we gave too much for her to be acting like this. I'm just focusing on me, but I do love her and believe she can turn that around. Because she put me in that position, I didn't. ... to think I wouldn't snap would be unrealistic torture. I'm so hurt but I don't think she cheated on me
Another dose of sound advice.
Thanks for clearing this question... I saw the title of this video and I thought "holy crap can that be true?" but I understand now ✌
Coach Lee your speaking attitude is superb
We’ve been living together for 7 months. First as roommates, then after some months as a couple. She is from another country and had to go abroad to get some bureaucratic paperwork fixed. We thought this would only take a couple of weeks, but things were and still are dragging on.
Some 2 months ago, she told me on the phone that she’s dating someone else. I went into NC immediately. 4 weeks ago I was in that country and - believe it or not - we ran into each other on a train! I am sure this “coincidence” is due to visualizations I had done: In my mind’s eye I had vividly seen each other hugging, and when we parted at the train station that is exactly what happened: She hugged me and said she loved me very much!
Since then (4 weeks), no contact again.
The only doubt I have is how to behave towards her family. I am in regular contact with one of her brothers (she hadn’t told him about our encounter!), who always wonders why I don’t call her.
I have also bought the kit, but couldn’t find anything relevant to that situation in the modules.
Coach, I messed up and sent a short to the point reach out text . Almost 2 months and there has been no response from her. After 4 years this has been tough . She’s 50 and I’m 41 . Your videos have been so inspiring and helpful . Where am I at now?
You can do better, you don't realise it. Work on yourself first, and then see if you still want her
i know of a relationship restorer who can help you bring back your ex like he helped me bring back my ex husband without delay+(2348160366949) message him on WhatsApp for help
I sometimes dread the possibility of her never reaching out to me. Then there are times when I feel following no contact for 2-3 months will help me move on better even.
We have been off and on since August. I have tried the no contact. She always contacts me when I do it and she will say let’s work this out. Then shortly after it goes right back to the same thing
I recently experienced dump by my girlfriend. She said she's totally done with me and told me she deserves more then I can give her and her kids. All I did was tell her the truth. She said I was hurt her to the core.
It does work on women...lol...I am one. It has happened to me before (to be frank) and worked on me, as well as my doing N.C. right now in my current situation to an Ex (who never broke up with me really, we are just "seperated" under odd circumstances that may or may not lead us back together in the coming months of my implementing N.C. without a warning).
But as for me being a woman, and the one who did no contact on me certainly made me think more of that man as well as made me want to at least see him again. And well, I did. Not saying it always works but it depends on the situation and circumstances just like Coach Lee explains in many of his videos. No contact is not gender bias, by any means.
Did you take dude back? lol
Did y'all reconcile?
I know it's been three years since you posted this comment, but I'd like to get a woman's perspective on something.
What if she lost some attraction because I may have come across a little needy towards the end? But only because I felt her pulling away. 10 months prior I was very confident in our relationship, and we shared so many good memories, we were really into each other, really can't think of any bad times, we never argued, we just laughed and loved, it was magical.
So my question, in your opinion will she still think of me fondly during no contact, maybe reach out? I've 30 days NC so far..
This video was very encouraging. Thanks coach. I needed it.
Thank you Coach Lee. I watch ur videos every single day and it gives me the motivation to stay strong. I hope me ex comes back.
Hello dear let me recommend you to a man Who helped me get my ex husband back after 2 years of separation I thought he would never come back till I came across this man dr Wilson he can help you too .
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+ 1 ( 4 4 3 ) 8 5 5 0 8 5 0...
Coach, how does the fear of loss affect someone who isn’t afraid to lose you? Isn’t that what breaking up is? If they were afraid to lose you, they wouldn’t dump you.
They weren’t afraid to lose you at the breakup, but at the same time they had not yet experienced it. It was merely a concept. I see many people want the ex back after breaking up with them because they were allowed to feel the loss.
I have made mistake to start begging and want to call here and there in the very start. But now I have incited this no contact its been three days now. I do not know will she be back or not but your videos help me to be little stronger, where as I was feeling so lonely and down. Thank You
Progress? :)
What happened?
We need an update on this !!
My ex reached out the other day after no contact thankyou for your support coach
how long did it take?
About a month and half
@@samhines5084 Congrats brother. It's refreshing to see that there is hope at least rather than negative comments on this page.
Longbyname - Thankyou mate shes being a bit flaky at the moment when I ask her out so I just said 'when your schedule is free contact me but we see each other every day when we take the children to school so I can start building up raport, when I was in nc we used to ignore each other but now she says hi and a little bit of conversation before we get on our way but shes doing 100% of the initiation not me so we will see where it goes from here
Sam Hines That’s awesome. Making small efforts. It’s like chopping down a large tree, eventually chipping away at it, it’ll come down (if that makes sense) but happy for you matey.
In a relationship for 12 months she broke up with me 4 days ago I'm 45 years old I feel like shit.... the videos are helping
Stay strong, it'll get better.
Im a men and yea, i think that 100% right. We had a lot of "no" that we dont want to ask anymore a woman.
Heck yea it works! Thanks Coach!
Guys no contact works. I reattracted 2 exes to my life even if I fucked up by begged or pleaded. I am in process of reattracting a 3rd ex. All of the tree females. For this third I did not beg or pleaded like the other two so I feel positive she will come back. Recently she strated to like my insta posts like the other girls did. Females all act similar, the respond good to strenght and emotional self control. Walk away and never look back and eventually they will contact you when they see that you have improved your life and having a blast without them.
Can you give a timeline on these break ups and the lengthy of no contact before reconnecting?
Hi Coach Lee,
It would be nice to hear your insights on relationships with multiple breakups! Maybe in a future video?
We had a few short and then one long (8 months) breakup, I watched your videos and worked on myself a lot. Now we were back together for half a year again. But apparently my SO holds some grudge and fears from the previous realtionship and we are not talking for a few weeks again. These 6 months were much better than previous relationship and it was a bit of a shock that he has doubts again. I am so tired of these cycles.
J
I am waiting on the multiple breakups video as well