Addiction of Cheating - From A Self-Aware Narcissist
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- Опубликовано: 17 фев 2023
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Also I try to help people with or abused by narcissism. Please reach out to me if you are a:
Victim of Narcissistic Abuse - Helping provide closure, reduce guilt and break free from the trauma bond that toxic people imprison you in.
Narcissist - I understand you better than you probably understand yourself because I have been there, I am there and I am fighting daily for a better life. You can do that too.
If you are interested in talking with me one on one grab a time with the link below.
www.calendly.com/rawmotivations
Website: www.rawmotivations.com
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Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,
But then how dumb it is to live a secret life when it is totally possible to enter an open relationship or polygamous relationship with full consent of all adults.....
I think it's not even the attraction to a sex drive to another person, but the thrill of hiding and living in secret(as if a criminal).
But even if the relationship is monogamous and exclusive and you feel like it's too boring all of a sudden and you develop a crush on someone else, STILL just talk and breakup with the one you don't want any more and go to the next one. It's a whole lot simpler than living a double life.
So, making it so much harder, it's ridiculous and dumb.
Can you message ms this explanation of the narcissist it’s perfect
They always have this attitude of “What you don’t know can’t hurt you.” Except it’s crazy because they always bring home an STD!!! Mine always did!!! And even then they won’t take any accountability!!!
Some people are just addicted to EVERYTHING, definitely makes sense
My ex cheated on me multiple times. I finally got away from him. He’s tried to maintain a connection to me. He told me he had changed and was doing better and making better decisions. Well a Facebook group called are we dating the same guy revealed he’s dating at least 3 different women now. I’ve blocked him for good. I’m glad he’s been outed.
If you accidentally find Viagra capsules, which they use to keep the other supplies going, and confront them, they will say something like: it's not mine. I'm just hiding it for a friend. 😂😂
Love is stability, friendship, consistancy and having each others back, taking care of each other. The long term warmth of companionship
It's always shocking when you find out the depths narcissists can plunge to. A former friend of mine had the key to his neighbours' home and was great friends with them. When they were out, he was using the home to bring back prostitutes behind his partner's back.
They even bring women home when you at work, in the car or travelled! Extremely gross individuals.
I needed to hear this, we often ask "what did WE do to cause this?" not realizing no matter how hard we tried, it was bound to happen.
I still feel guilt
GPS tracker is easy and inexpensive. Gave me the ammo needed to settle out of court.
Thank you for this video. It really helped explain things that I couldn’t understand. I don’t have definitive proof of his cheating but he was always giving attention to other women and I couldn’t understand why. The ending part about our worth was beautiful too. It really resonated with the physical abuse he put me through too. Honestly, thank you.
You know one night stand for me it even worse. Because it mean that it meant nothing, and still it was worth for them to risk relationships. it mean you meant nothing too
Even though I have heard you say similar things in some of your other videos I still continue to watch them. Because, they still encourage me. It helps to hear them over and over again. For me it helps to keep me moving forward and to remain Strong in my decision of having left my x narcissist.
Me too, the videos help when a wave of longing to go back comes over me. 🙏🏼
@@KB-ih5gf The videos help me from trying to go back too.
Same
Wow, I've just recently come across your videos and I must say that every topic and thing you speak about is describing exactly the kind of person I am unfortunately inlove with. There's so many questions I had, so many things I didn't understand or know why but your videos have truly enlightened me. Thanks so much Ben
I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Great video Ben . I’ve been following Dr. Ramani and prof. Sam Vankin for a couple of years now and just came across your videos today . Great content & delivery . The analogy of the diamond is so true also . Thank you for these great videos .
Awesome, thank you!
Almost 20 years ago, I discovered a secret email account with three women my husband was romantically and sexually involved with online. At the time, I thought it was an addiction. I searched everywhere on what it was and how to reach him because he was in stonewalling, gaslighting me and denyung there was anything going on.doesnt matter if it is physical or not, it is a betrayal of trust. It ultimately ended our 35 year marraige
The audacity with which they gaslight you is shocking. When I asked him who the creams for taming unruly hair in his bedside cabinet belong to, he said - "they're mine. I buy in bulk". Side note: he's virtually bald. He left the room and came back with a series of girlie items that he doesn't want me to think belong to another woman in case I come across them: pink tweezers, fluffy pink winter socks. 😂 The attitude is: I have nothing to hide. The infidelity is in plain sight!
Exactly Ben!! 💯
Good vid and topic ben
Another SOLID video! Thanks Ben!
Thank you for the quality content. I needed this!!
Glad you enjoyed it! Would love to help you in getting clarity on what is going on. Check out escapetoxicity.com to start your healing journey.
What do you, from a narcissists perspective, constitute as “cheating” Did its definition change when you got married?
Thank you,my late husband use to say if it aint brock dont fix it
Im addicted to cheating, I’ve been with my partner for 3 years and I’ve cheating on him with about 15 men…in real life and online. It’s been getting to me and I still haven’t stopped. I feel guilty yet I get this adrenaline. Me and my partner I’ve been cheating on for 3 years we’ve been online. I’ve been dating men and hooking up with me while we’re dating and it’s still happening. I can’t stop I really need help.
Hi there, check this out - www.rawmotivations.com/break-through-session
Would enjoy hearing your take on what a healthy relationship and healthy dating looks like
Check out more of Kayla’s (my wife) perspective on our new podcast Trauma, Drama & Life: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-drama-life/id1639753152
I always struggled with how could he cheat if he genuinely loved me. Can you comment on that?
He didn’t genuinely love you because he cheated.
Liars! What about your partner?? The hurt???
Steal another person’s life with lies.
What if the girl is absolutely gorgeous, a extra per 30 years younger than an autism didn't announce, it's perfect body, will he stay with her? She got pregnant after 2 months of being with him, he moved out of town with her. Is that gonna last? Is he really in love?
Thank you for all of your support and help that you give Everyone
I get what you’re saying as far as the high, the infatuation of something so perfect you fantasize about. But what about your wife? How would you know she is the one for you and that you’re not in this mindset? You’ve cheated, gaslighted and manipulated her and those around you, including the ones you’ve had affairs with. How would you know if she’s the one or someone you had an affair with is the one? How would one deal with this?
My willingness to be honest and honor the commitments that I made to actually be the man I am supposed to be first versus expecting my wife to be the person I want without me showing up as a man.
There is not such thing as the one. It’s more about your mind desision to be with one. And I think it more about friendship rather then sex
@@Alloniya 100%
How would you make a narcissist addictive to you ? 🤔
Why would you want to?😵💫🫣
Give them all your money, time and attention and accept the abuse 🤔 seriously though, don’t.
@Betty Carmella just a question . Never stated I would go through with it. It's sometimes awesome to know how the oppent works ticks thinks. Can't help to get as much understanding on said topic. It's necessary insight because though they have similar characteristics in how they deal with ppl, they're some who are not the same in behavioral actions. No narcissist is the same as the last or that which may come. Best to be prepared either way. Knowledge wise.
@Kayli G thank you for your reply I appreciate that. Honestly he wouldn't take my money. Only if he purchased and I decided to pay it back.
@Kayli G I know someone who did these things with a narcissist when it became to much for her. He discarded her, I guess she couldn't hold up to what she bargained for in agreement. 😏