The Nightmare of Travel for Autistic Adults
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- Опубликовано: 17 сен 2024
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A thing I have learned is to contact disability services each airport I travel through on a layover. I usually set this all up at the time of booking. Calling the airline to make sure. They will greet you at the plane, see you through customs, get you through security to your next flight. In the US, you need to contact TSA Cares prior to your visit to the airport if at all possible. Sometimes it is not faster, but it is way better to not be standing in a crowd and being anxious about everything.
I'm always confused on the dating sites when peoples' profiles say that they like to travel. No you don't, nobody does. What you like is "being other places". The traveling part sucks.
Yes! Thats exactly my thinking too. I want to be somewhere else - say in Tokio - but I don't want to travel there, it's horrific, it's exhausting, overwhelming, painful, disgusting, disorientating ... no thank you, I'll watch RUclips walking tours instead.
Being in other places is great, getting there sucks :)
So glad Orion told her to stop minimizing; she IS brave. Great guest and great interview.
I just had to move from Vietnam to America and the airports are violent places for autistic adults. It took me 4 days to travel, and being already burnt out I was nearly shutdown the whole time.
This led to Osaka customs seeing me as "suspicious" for missing a flight because of overwhelm and and being detained for 4 hours because they didn't think I was honest.
I spent a year in Canada back in my twenties with my Canadian partner at the time, long before I knew I was autistic. The Canadians were incredibly welcoming and made the whole trip just amazing. Canada rocks!
I just got back from the UK and thankfully I discovered the Sunflower Lanyard before I left. It made my time navigating airports and the like more tolerable. It still took its toll, but I can't imagine how much worse it would've been without it. Just another reminder how ahead of the game places like UK and NZ are with mental health and Murica... well the less said the better. 😕
Sunflower yard worked really well at Birmingham Airport in the UK and at Amsterdam Airport in the Netherlands. They would spot us in line and come pull us out and escort us to express lanes at check-in, security and passport control. They would let us board the plane first. Really helpful.
I never knew about the sunflower lanyard!!! This could be a gamechanger for me on my next flight l!
Love the conversation about the sunflower lanyard! I’ve wanted to look into it, and this has given me courage to try it!
Lovely video, I recently went through an airport first time since 2019 and found I take much longer to process all of the information and signs and my neurotypical teenage son was much faster than me to realise what we needed to do.
I’m terrified of travelling even going to the shops.
I found out about my autism and skitzo spectrum cluster type b traits on the opposite side of narcissistic. I'm 32 and my father pretty much made me get into the oil field at 18, or it was homelessness. He ended up kicking me out before I had the money anyway, but I digress. I have always had to travel for work and I would always feel anxiety if I came in at night, because I couldn't begin recognizing my surroundings. I have a bit of a astigmatism. Didn't find that out till 28. It was so hard for about 4 years. Just constantly traveling for months at a time. I remember one year being home for maybe a month if you added all the days I was home together. Never flew always traveled in company trucks. I live in the States. Being in the oil field for 11 years was a total nightmare. Im glad I'm out, I love helping people, and I do love working on hydraulic lines and valve stands but, everyone one in the business is trying to get to the top and from what I noticed people just wanted to look good doing bad work, instead of trying to be sufficient. Don't get me started on the fear mongering. That being said, most those rough necks would give their life for mine in a second if they had to, and I would as well. They have some rough jobs in the shipyard, so I give them a bit of slack for how they treat me, we are all ignorant of something, and I didn't know my oddities were part of autism ante type B. I APOLOGIZE, I just realized I ranted. But what I wanted to say was being forced into that line of work really helped me in just generally being excited to travel and take on my anxieties and I think the work I was forced into actually gave me so many benefits, I'm definitely stronger, and now I'm getting better in life, and I no longer feel like I don't deserve to be on this planet with all these amazing people, but now I do. My therapist has helped me so much, I thank him every time, I'm now on my way into the medical field, I'm going to start by being a medical assistant in a pediatrician office, and put myself through med school to get into neurology really want to be a researcher in neuro divergent people. Also I have some ideas for changing all the test. I have so many so many ideas to improve them. Well Theories.
I was considering outfitting my van for van life so I could be a traveling tech but it just seemed dangerous. You can't go around parking wherever you want can you? There were so many influencers and travel bloggers that were painting this romantic picture. It didn't seem like it could be that easy.
I did research and found out about local parking laws in different states. I also found information on civil asseit forfeiture and impoundment. There are things a police department can do that will seriously disrupt your life. There are also rules at camps and paid lots for RVs that have penalties. Grocery stores and city residents really don't like people parking nearby and rural residents like it even less.
I learned a lot about the reality and I'm glad I didn't rush into the lifestyle right away.
What drew me in though was the idea of making my own routine and living the kind of life I wanted to live. It seemed like something that could give me control. That was appealing to me so I put a lot of effort into designing a cozy place to travel in and planning out a trip. Ultimately though I'm glad I decided to stay home where things are stable and easy to handle.
Don't give up the security you have to get what you want. Life is always much more difficult if you invite chaos. I'm pretty glad I'm not on the road right now but it was fun learning about another lifestyle.
Watching this video just reinforced my gut feeling that I would have been miserable traveling that much and made me think of all the research I did. I have never enjoyed roadtrips and always hated plane flights. Why did I think full time road traveling was the way to go?
Don't invite chaos would be my advice
@@AddyEspresso No unfortunately you can't. You'd think that public parking would equal public Park and sleep but there are many times the police will wake you and make you move on.
@@jtec99 I saw it in Seattle. People were parking their trucks and campers in the streets on their way to Burning Man and being harassed
@@AddyEspressoI live in the Seattle area.
Possibly a small percentage on their way to Burning Man (a very long drive away from Seattle) were parking there, but they’d be a very tiny minority of those parked around. Parking in Seattle is already by explicit mandated city design absurdly painful compared to the number of cars and drivers in an effort to force people to use mass transit. A new high-rise building is explicitly forbidden to provide enough parking to force people to use mass transit.
Then you combine the amount of crime that comes around all the homeless people, including drugs, needles, car break-ins, violence, and then how the local governments have enabled them to where property owners have no rights to enforce their property rights, it all makes perfect sense.
Indeed, it was wise of you to do research first, and identify that the idea is far, far more romantic-sounding than the reality. A number of years ago, a business in downtown Seattle was sick and tired of the homeless crapping by their business. So, they rented a porta-potty for them. The city fined them for it. This is literally the stupid crap the Seattle government does.
@@strictnonconformist7369 It would have made more sense to double down and build one of those automaticself cleaning bathrooms they have in France than ban the portapotty altogether. That is nuts. Insane behaviour.
@@strictnonconformist7369 I think it makes sense to forbid buildings from having sprawling parking lots or their own garages because people SHOULD be using public transit. The trouble is that they aren't providing enough mass transit because people who don't live in the city keep voting against it.
The result is the worst of both worlds but for a while in the 2000s it was very good. I enjoyed using the bus system and the trams were excellent. I just wish things hadn't gone so badly.
Thanks for this video I'm currently looking at flying for the first time alone.
Concerning they touched her as she got on the plane. I know they were trying to be kind, but some people wouldn’t like the invasion of space or the touch.
This video made me think of internet streamers I have watched that use digital avatars. They are called Vtubers or Virtual RUclipsrs and often work with agencies in Japan as virtual idols or content creators.
It is a unique job that just perfectly caters to autistic women. It is a rare fit for them where they can express themselves authentically and be celebrated for their personalities.
Pipkin Pippa, Haruka Karibu, Punkalopi, Eira Woolcott and Apricot The Lich are good examples and a lot of people in the online vtubing community have done autism reveals by taking online autism tests on-stream or talking about their struggles prior to being diagnosed. All while live for their thousands of viewers who love them for being them. Their fans are serious about supporting them all the way.
They often make their way through interviews at these Japanese agencies because of their internet adapted personas and ability to be polite and respectful off-stream. These qualities are important to Japanese superiors and managers. So if you watch any of the big Vtuber channels on Twitch the odds are that your oshi or your anime girl waifu is autistic.
They often start working remotely but I've watched some of the best streamers become so successful that they are invited to Japan as respected talents. They LOVE living in Japan. It seems like Tokyo is an autistic womans dream or something because they schedule return streams and talk about their experiences traveling and learning Japanese. They never fail to mention the convenience of public transportation and I've listened to a few go on half hour tangents with the train autism. It really seems like the job makes all their dreams come true so far as order and social interaction are concerned. That and Tokyo is the greatest city in the world for indulging in autistic interests.
However what I've noticed is that travel is REALLY rough on these poor girls. The planes, taxis, navigating their way through busy districts. Its a total nightmare. Fortunately though the idol agency will sometimes send a handler along with them so they don't get overstimulated and have a bad time. It is a practical concern because when their talent becomes burned out or struggles on-stream it becomes a problem.
If you can bring a special card to an airport and basically have your own handler- do it! I've tuned into enough of these Japan Trip streams to know about the benefits. Don't worry about being treated like a baby or handheld. It really isn't like that. Travel is stressful.
Travel… happily I managed to get enough money when my daughter graduated from university. I used that as an excuse to travel. We went to Europe. We are Canadian.
I used Ariel to go ask for help. I wouldn’t have got on the plane without her 😢
I really want to say that traveling does take courage and both of you are very brave I think. I don't know if I could ever be on camera in front of people. 😅
greetings- wow-what a breathtaking video-work, be well. 👍
She is the closest autistic person to how I am and yet there are so many differences in the base personality. Travel to new places has never been that big issue for me, just worked on finding the things I needed first and then worked my way outward for the rest. Am I the only one that is not plagued by anxiety? Or has my assimilation of my temper afforded me something that seemingly none of you have ever had?
@@patryn36 I appear to be one of those statistical quirks of being AuDHD along with the other various neurodivergencies, in that none are an anxiety, personality or other issue.
Absolutely, I have sensory issues, and where there’s something important at stake, anxiety will exist until suitably resolved, but nothing that I’m pretty confident wouldn’t be an issue for everyone else. One of my weird statistical quirks is it seems I’m more probable to go into autistic burnout with no meltdowns or shutdowns building up to it, based on last year. I have gone years, even decades, between meltdowns or shutdowns, for various reasons including (I believe) some of my sensory hyposensitivities (smell being useless: the odor they put into natural gas in the US so you can detect a leak? I’ll have to take your word on it) and I’m rather laid-back for the most part.
A bit over a month ago I drove from the Seattle area to the Detroit area, about 2400 miles, starting after work on Friday night about 6:40 pm pacific time, got to destination in Michigan 2:46 am eastern time, drove 2 days back-to-back over 1000 miles (or 2 Indianapolis 500 races, but slower, with traffic snarls and construction zones) 2 days in a row. I did find it hard to sleep properly, quite probably between food and overstimulation, so I think I got about 5 hours sleep each of those nights.
I love traveling yet I don't travel much. Mostly to familiar place. Cabin at the lake, relatives. But I want to travel the world yet I just can't do it. I have realized I subconsciously find way to sabotage my travel plans. So don't ever travel. It's really silly excuses really. I prioritize travel out my plans yet still plan to go then find I can't. I had to accept as much as I want to travel it's much harder to do than for than others.
I find this interesting cause I am going to a new place for a festival tomorrow and I'm excited! But I'm going with someone I know well too SOOOO maybe that's why I'm ok with it??
I'm alright going to places if,
1) I know someone there. For the last three years I've been going to a Transformers convention called Transformers Nation. It's held in Birmingham, so if you're a fan I can 100% recommend going! Each time I've gone I knew I'd be with people I already knew. That's pretty much essential for me. And,
2) I can drive myself there. I get in the car, I drive there, I get out of the car, that's it, I don't stop on the way, that interferes with my music and I don't like it! This limits journeys to about two to three hours, but because I also have fibromyalgia I physically can't drive longer than that anyway, so that really restricts me.
I went to London on the train the year before last, absolute nightmare! I don't like going there, but there was a Jurassic World exhibition and I HAD to go. Don't know why it wasn't on at the bloody NEC like everything else! I hate taking the train, I hate the Underground even more, I hate getting lost, and I had to deal with all of those things! Needless to say a massive meltdown with full SH ensued. I won't be going again soon, that's for sure.
I really want to visit Japan, but I'm not sure I'll be able to. It's the only place in the world I want to go but... So hearing about this lady moving to Canada is pretty amazing, even if she doesn't realise it! I hope she has a great life there!
Can anyone in the autistic community give this neurotypical wife of a neurodivergent husband some tips on how to be a better partner to my incredible husband when he's having a meltdown? I am just letting it happen and letting him know it's ok to happen and that I love him no matter what, but I'd still like to do better. This world is already making his life hard enough and I want his home to be a safe place for him to feel whatever he's feeling without judgement. Any help is appreciated. He's having to change his routine pretty regularly due to his granddad's terminal cancer diagnosis and subsequent assisting of grandad at random times. It's obviously having an effect on him, but if I can support him better when the meltdowns happen, then I'm happy to do anything. Any suggestions are appreciated ❤
Hi there! I'd definitely do more research on meltdowns by creators like orion here (there is an episode of his podcast My Friend Autism that is titled "Autistic Meltdowns Explained" which I recommend. Mom on the Spectrum also has a video on the topic.) Understanding what's happening in his brain will help you apply your knowledge to his specific needs instead of relying on the generalized advice of strangers whose meltdowns likely present differently.
The most important thing you can do here is be open and honest with your desire to help your partner at a time he is not melting down or visibly drained. Ask him what he needs most during a meltdown. Try asking some simple, direct questions when suggesting this, things that can be answered with a simple yes or no. (Its very difficult to describe how we're feeling and what we need in that moment because we lack mental clarity during meltdowns, so its better not to ask open ended questions.) Does he need to sit in darkness? Can you bring him a comfort item? Or maybe leave it in the place he tends to gravitate towards during meltdowns so he has easy access to it when he needs it most? Does he need complete silence in the entire house? (If there is an open window in the house when he's having a meldown, does he hear any sounds coming from outside that make it harder to self regulate? Will turning on the tv or music upset him or will he find the familiar, pleasant sounds soothing?)
If he tends to flee to a specific location during his meltdowns, try to cater that area to his needs. Favorite blankets, favorite plushies, favorite stim toys, blackout curtains, etc.
After its over, he will be exhausted. Consider offering him his safe foods (if he has a favorite plate or favorite fork, make sure you know so you can serve it on that. You could also serve it on paper plates so you don't have to wash dishes while he's dysregulated), offer to engage in one of his special interests like turning on his favorite movie (at a reduced volume). He may not want to touch you or talk to you after. And this is not a sign you're doing anything wrong! He may feel guilty knowing you want to hold him and kiss him, but can't handle it. His brain is just exhausted. The way I describe my autistic brain to non-autistics is that "everything is data." The lights are data, sounds are data, the mess on the floor is data, the taste of dinner is data, etc. And yes, hugs and kisses are data. Soothing words are data. Helping him regulate may mean not being able to do things that would bring you comfort if you were upset because his brain cannot handle the extra labor.
But everyone is different! Some people may want to be held after a meltdown. Some people may need to be left in total isolation until they've regained their energy.
Passively, between meltdowns, keeping a rigid routine can help keep his brain calm. I don't know what your daily routine is like or what the distribution of chores is, but consider being more strict with the times you do these chores to give him a sense of predictability. If there are any chores he finds noisy, distressing, or distracting, consider doing it when he's not home if at all possible (and i understand this may be a reach and is not possible for many couples, so don't worry if you cant do this one!)
Consider whether he may need more support tools. Does he have a weighted blanket? Does he visually stim when regulated, but all his stim toys are tactile? Does he have ear plugs or ear defenders?
How often does he tolerate discomfort when in a regulated state? Are there any annoyances in his daily life he can typically handle that he no longer has the time or energy to regulate and may result in him melting down quicker?
This could be anything from the texture of a fabric (blanket, clothing, furniture) to the sound of the crickets outside your open window at night.
He may feel guilty or embarassed seeing you do all these things to support him. There's a reason so many autistics have PTSD. Many of us are made to feel ashamed and embarassed of our autism from a young age, so all this love and support may make him self conscious. Be prepared for him to react defensively.
I wish you and your husband the best during this difficult time in your life.
@@minxiv7 Meltdowns are a terrifying experience, and you can't do much. Depending on how deep your husband is in it, chances are he will be unable to hear you. Keep your distance, make sure to be available if he wants your support, try to disable distractions (Radio, TV etc.), and be patient. But I guess you know him better than anyone else, and you probably already do the best that is possible.
At first, I thought you accidently ended up in Canada.
I wish in the US we had lanyards. Here we have to pay for any assistance & there's no indicators 🫥