Many girls watch too much movie, and want a guy like the leading actor in real life. But, she's not like the leading actress either! Come back to earth please, you're not in a movie!
So true Men can do that I mean I would love to hook up with Emma Stone but that ain't going to happen. Girls get hung up on that shit a lot more than Guys.
"Omg dating is sooo hard I have tons of guys interested in me I feel like I'm checking the menu at a restaurant and I can choose whatever I want, I have too many options! I hate dating!".-girls
My mother always says: "If you date the 'popular' guy you'll never have him for yourself but if you date a trustful man with a great hart you'll live an amazing life." My mom has had a relationship with my dad since her high school.
I was never popular in school, I was bullied and after my 10-year relationship with someone similar to Amber Heard, I have to say that being single is awesome!
I know a girl like that. She met lots of good guys, but it's always some bullshit like "he's too short" (she's 5'1 btw), "he got the wrong hair color", "he's not this..", "he's not that".. bla bla bla. and she is acting so damn entitled that pretty much everyone told her that she'll remain single forever.
Well it is true that people are attracted to people with certain hair colors. Why do you think there are guys who are attracted to blonde girls only? Because they like the hair color and there's something about they're hair color that stands out to them.
@ you clearly don't know how everyone will respond to people considered attractive. Just because someone is considered attractive doesn't mean everyone will automatically change their preference just because the girl is into them. And yes it does matter because some guys will only date blonde girls and could care less if a girl is good looking or not. Some guys won't accept anything less than a girl whose blonde. Maybe you wouldn't care but you don't speak for everyone. Don't say it wouldn't matter if an attractive girl was into a guy because the guy would suddenly alter his mind. Guess what...everyone won't do that, maybe you would do that. Don't think that everyone would do what you would do if a girl is good looking because everybody is different. So I'm not an idiot I'm stating facts that some guys won't accept anything less than a blonde girl. Just like some girls won't accept anything less than a guy whose taller than her despite him having qualities she'd want in a guy...some girls won't settle for less. if you think some guys will alter their preference for a girl because she's good looking then you are wrong and don't speak for everyone else. Some people have high expectations and won't tolerate anything lower than that.
6 лет назад+12
@@marcusmelton2295 You are wrong. Theres always exceptions to the rule, but it still doesnt change the rule. Females are notorious for having crazy unrealistic standards. They even portray this in movies and tv shows. Women are also brainwashed by both of these as well. Do you really think men and women are the same. You must be young and still need alot of years of dealing with females to know how they are. Either that or youre raised by a single mother and females can do no wrong. Choose which one...most likely both.
@ I agree with what your saying...I was only talking about how just like there are women who have ridiculous standards or won't accept anything less, there are some guys who won't accept anything but blonde girls. I've seen videos where girls who are like in the 5 ft range say they want a guy whose like 6ft something. Some are like 5'5 or whatever but some were 5'10-11 but still I was only talking about how just like how some girls won't accept anything less, some guys won't either even if its a ridiculous. I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I know there are females who have ridiculous standards.
What about overweight people disgusted by dating other overweight people. Someone that wants someone fit but never will dream about a gym. Now that's bullshit. Smh
This was INCREDIBLY insightful. Especially the point where you talk about dating the guy who will never reject you--and not the guy you are afraid to be rejected by.
If there’s any ladies who’s number 2 like I was, please remember to not judge by looks, I was treated like crap by one bf and left by another who were notably below my standards (friends strangers and family would make comments throughout relationships etc) that I accepted into my life thinking they’d be more appreciative to have me and less likely to leave, whereas I’m now seeing guys who are more my standards and they have treated me well. I realised it wasn’t the guys fault, I chose to settle and accepted the love and treatment I thought I deserved. I had to improve my mind set, life goals and self esteem to date better ones I freely. Remember everyone is flawed so don’t put men on pedestals, get to know everyone equally, trust until they prove they can’t be trusted by their actions, not by how you expect them to act, if they reject you that’s ok anybody has the right to and they probs weren’t right for you, don’t be scared to receive and reciprocate attention from someone you find charming or talented, they found you interesting for a reason so explore that.
Ha! Yeah beware of the "nice guy" you think will never hurt you! The nicest guy I dated is absolutely the one who hurt me the worst! Turns out he was not so nice at all. He actually lied the most out of every guy I have dated because he withheld his feelings of unhappiness for years. I lowered my standards and overlooked the red flags with him - because he was so nice! Won't make that mistake again.....
I know a couple of girls who have been on HUNDREDS of dates and claim they couldn't find anyone they "clicked" with. That's when you gotta look at the mirror. Ladies, perfect doesn't exist. Make sure you don't fall in love with your fantasies instead of the actual person, since the reality tends to come down hard on y'all. Also, don't let your friends decide who you're dating. It's YOU that makes the decision. If they shoot down every guy you're dating or make you choose between them and your date, are they really your friends? I don't know, but too many times I've heard a woman say: "You're such a sweet gentleman and I really liked you, but my friends didn't quite feel you." At least don't judge the dude your friend is going on a date with, before you have met him in person.
finnishguy845 dude a girl rejected me becauae her friends said it wont look right for a tall girl to date a short guy. She said I was attractive and like my personality lol. Like she was literally about to ask when our date was gonna be.Her fucking friends said that and she changed her mind.That is some bullshit.
I would agree with you in most cases. But it might really be true, if it's not a question of standards, but compatibility. If you have other interests than the main stream, it might just be difficult to find the person who understands or matches you. This has nothing to do with overvaluing yourself or requiring too much. It might be hard to find the right environment where like-minded people would be. Many dates but in the wrong environment are expected to not lead to a match.
@ Not only men. There is also society that raises many womens value artifically, and creates wrong values they seek. Same as many men btw, society has become more superficial than it ever was.
Everything you mentioned was right. I did lower my standard to my ex then he treated me badly. After watching your videos and reading your books, i know how my standard for a man should be. I talked to him and he asked for a chance to make up for his mistakes. I'm not sure he can change truly or not but he is getting better :)
@@5tonyvvvv is it your own way to insult people like that ? I'm pretty sure you got the red pill rage but please chills out and remove those horrible comments.
Ugh, this takes me back to my high school and college days, when certain groups of single women just seemed to form these cliques that were all about circle-jerking eachother's standards of men. They were always unapproachable, yet sobbed all over their myspace and facebook pages about how there weren't any good men or some other bullshit. I still am friends with many of these women on facebook, and in all cases one of the following happened: 1. They are still single and still in what remains of their little clique whining about how there aren't any good men. 2. They panicked and left their little clique to settle for a guy who's absolute shit. 3. They actually realized how toxic the clique was and got out just in time to meet a man who met or even exceeded a few of their standards and was willing to grow to meet others.
Maybe relating this and anything else to school days isn’t the best thing. If someone seems unapproachable, there could be a thousand reasons so never assume you know someone by labeling them as a ‘type’. Stereo typing is stigmatizing among many other things happening here and that is not ok. Learn to be open minded, and when someone is truly unapproachable, accept it, move on and be happy. It’s that easy.
I've always been very insecure about myself bc every time I had the courage to talk to a girl they would ignore me one time a girl said to my face go away you are ugly I never talk to anyone anymore and my friends left me because now they think I am cringe. I just wish I had more friends I only have one friend that sticks with me through the hard times.
sounds like a branding problem. You must realize that being liked by people is like building your own brand - its all about marketing skills and tactics. If you dont like how you look - change it. Hit the gym, get some nice hair cut, maybe grow a beard, take care of your skin, ect. Go wtch some make over show to see how different people can become. About the gringe - its good to think about what exacly make people percive you this way. What do you express and why. And after that - to change it.
The biggest issue I am seeing with most women today is the value they put on how a man looks. It has gotten so bad that they are willing to take a good looking man that comes with a list of problems over an average looking guy that has good values and standards. That is why a lot of them end up in bad relationships and instead of blaming the men they they are choosing, they blame all men.
Same goes for men lol. As if women want all that matthew listed. He talked to those who do. The vast majority does not. And a response like yours sounds bitter and indicates that you don't have luck with women. Ask yourself why. What do you bring to the table.
A have a lot of friends who say they won’t lower their standards. They are all late 30s and dating. I think another factor here is that I have seen some of my friends lie to themselves about what they want: they say they want love and someone to share their lives with. Then they meet a good guy, and suddenly they don’t like the guy and bad. In most cases, what was wrong with the guy? No money. And by no money I don’t mean poor, but not millionaire. And so the search for “love” continues. I think some women need to really go back and truly know what they want. If they want a guy with money, that’s it! But don’t lie to yourselves saying you want “love”. A friend of mine, very pretty but superficial, and has been single for years! And extremely picky, waiting to meet a millionaire handsome with abs, well traveled, who wants to marry her and have kids and she doesn’t have to work etc etc. That’s a lot to put on the other person! In my personal experience, love is about partnership not about what you can get from the other person.
Girl: _I want a 7' minium guy he has to be at least a billionare, he has to have abs and has to have perfect hair, smell nice, and have an amazing personality, to treat me like a queen and to cook for me, to give me flowers while I don't do shit at all._
if you're talking about standards regarding things like looks, career, status, money, etc. then it can be a real problem. I would never want a woman to like me just for my looks or job. Now if you're talking about standards regarding personality, character, and how they treat you, then these should definitely be high for both of you. Do not compromise on these things.
Generally people who have standards happen to have same or similar standards for themselves as well. Unrealistic or high standard would be wanting to marry a billionaire when you're not one.
saniyauzumaki people who have standards have high standards for themselves? Yes and no. I don't see women in great condition yet demanding for all sorts standards. 1 word. Entitlement.
The advice about messed-up standards on the third point is pretty cool because it also applies to the friends in your life as well. For example, if you have friends who are always late to events, you can set the standard that the events will happen without them. If the friends really do want to attend your gatherings, they WILL make the effort to show up on time; if not, then they may not be worth inviting out again. I personally use this advice to let people know that I have a high standard for straightforwardness, so people who may be passive-aggressive know better to pull those traits around me. I never did understand why people have such high unrealistic expectations for their life partner, but complain about friends who clearly do not meet their standards for decent human beings...
I think it's mostly because of Taylor Swift videos and mainstream music (too many love songs out there). It just gets in a woman's head and they day dream about the perfect guy for them, thus narrowing their net (like the person below me stated). I feel like women's standards for guys these days are so high. It's like, looks come first, then personality comes next. Back in the day, you hear about an ugly guy dating a gorgeous girl. Nowadays, I never see that anymore. Unless the guy is filthy rich, then obviously they can get access to most girls
Not always the case. I happen to be a girl, and it also happens that personality always comes first. I can't live with someone who looks good but treats me bad. Looks are important, yes, but I wouldn't give up on a man who's good to me just because he's not a Kalvin Klein model.
Women's standards for men are generally higher than men's standards for women and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A lot of the things I've observed that women like in men don't have as much to do with how they look though.
Matthew has a good sense of humor. He makes his videos entertaining because as I am watching them I notice that I keep laughing throughout the entirety.
Gentleman, how many of you have seen a profile in a dating app with a sentence along the lines of: "Under 6'? Swipe left". And just like that, me (I'm 5'8") and 86% of man are no good enough for the majority of women. And that is *ONE* of the requirements that you need to have for women just talking with you. News flash, for the best guys, 6', 6 pack, 6 figures salary, jaw line, etc. These guys are having the time of their lives, and they won't settle down. *Because they don't need to* Because *ALL* the woman want them.
AllGuts NoGlory I disagree, you'd be surprised how open and accomodating some men are. If you perhaps stopped going for the loudest guy in the room you might notice that some are quite passionate and have a more quiet confidence too.
AllGuts NoGlory "Let me put it this way if a man applies for a job with me I constantly say in a condescending tone "are you sure you know what you are doing?" over 10 million times and then expect the same guy to do work for me without paying him money because he should work for free of course. " what the?
I don't think having standards are a bad thing. As long as they are responsible and your not too picky. A guy i was dating said that he doesn't think he can live up to my expectations which really hurt because I wasn't asking for something that wasn't achievable . I think sometimes a guy will make you feel bad about having standards because sometimes they can get really lazy and they don't want to put in much effort and I think that's what really happened in this situation with me.
Why would a guy want to continue attempting to live up to another human’s expectations? What do you bring to the table that would make him want you vs a girl who actually cares about building a genuine connection. You reduce yourself to sex with this approach because after the sex the guy will be more logical and when he assesses in his mind that long term you won’t be a fulfilling kind partner then he will come up with any excuse after the sex to disconnect. This is so common. Make sure you can bring every expectation you have to the table. Want a tall guy, be fit and slim, want this bring that, what a high value guy, have a low body count, want a traditional masculine man, be a traditional feminine woman.
quick answer: yes i have very high standards. but only two and they are most necessary. they must understand every level of me, and i must understand every level of them. if we can not communicate our deepest darkest secrets to one another, then the relationship isn't going to work out. i value honesty above all, and because i'm such a rare unique person, it is hard to find someone who meets these qualities, as very few people will understand the deepest parts of me.
When I reject a guy on the first date, it's usually because he gives off a 'weird' vibe and I've come to trust my instincts on this. Usually bravado that's meant to hide neediness, insecurity or what I sense to be a violent streak. "If you're this self-centered with a stranger, how will you be in a relationship?". Also a major problem: when I just don't imagine myself in bed with this person. At all. I mean, maybe attraction can really 'grow', but can it grow out of nothing?
i don't think there's anything wong with being picky as long as its not completely unrealistic i.e. must look like david beckham, must be rich, must buy me diamonds. for me i want a guy who i find attractive physically; he needs to take care of his appearance and body. im not looking for a guy who a six pack or who looks like a model, but a guy who takes care of himself (it's only fair as i make the effort to take care of my appearance). also i look for a guy who is caring, funny, faithful and treats me like i deserve to be treated. ive been single for a long time because i am fussy, but i'd rather be single than settle for someone who im not happy with. ive tried to do that before and it didn't work out and my gut instinct was right about that. i think you can usually tell early on if the spark isn't there and there's no point trying to force it. i think when you wait for the right person its more special because it shows how rare they are and how waiting paid off. if you settle for someone, you just take them for granted and you don't appreciate them because you got them so easily, almost effortlessly.
I think it's not just "high" standard, it's also specific standards that are impossible. I mean, if you're looking for a guy who's so very much similar to your own self, the odds of meeting him is probably really low.
Your standards are your standards! lowering them will prevent you from finding your perfect match. How can we dictate what a person finds desirable or preferential? I say stick to your standards, for everyone has standards and preferences.
YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! IT is sexism. How tall is just a question. Not women's fault women are usually shorter then guys and that is how life is and women want a guy taller then them. Not our fault it worked out that way. But guys are just being sexist asking weight. FACT.
@@nofybn7794 you can change your weight, go to the gym once, you cant change height yet you still want people to change to your liking, now that is sexsim and women do it
I would rather live alone than lower my standards. For example: I had 4 guys text me last night asking me to hang out - AT 9:30PM and later! REALLY guys?? I gave and still give all of them chances and so far none of them will step up. I think one big fear guys have is ending up in the friend zone and yet the only way I will even consider dating any of them is if they show they are an actual friend first.
Bertha - when it's a last minute invite and you don't really know the guy, safety dictates to say no. If he's a friend that's different. The second part of your comment really has nothing to do with what I shared.
I still have to improve myself as a 18 year-old female before I can consider such things as dating. I don't offer much except for a good smile, loads of videogames and one meal I can say I expertly cook. Somewhat.
What Not To Do At a Stoplight Thanks! And yeah, same here. I'm an awkward person so that's something I gotta change first. I also wish you good luck! ^^
6 лет назад
Do yourself a favor, and future men in your life as well: Learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, and how to become a more nurturing caring woman. Men want feminine women, who can serve a purpose. Not just take take and want from us.
So if I say it's ok, then they will always do it, whether they are a good person or not! I'm not looking for a relationship but you teach me so much about getting healthy and good people around me!! Thank you so much♥️♥️♥️
Must: Be 6 foot or over Drive a car Have his own place Earn more than she does Be in somewhat athletic shape Extroverted Sense of humour Strong social life/circle No mental health issues Not be bald/balding No signs of weaknesses as human being Take the blame Take full ownership should things hit the rocks Your money is hers and hers is hers This just straight of the top of my head, but this list could go on ad infinitum. The crucial thing is women NEVER apply this to themselves and the vast majority could barely check 3 of these criteria! They are a kind of elite, a class, much like politicians, were its a case of 'Good for thee but not for me', 'Do as I say but not as I do'. A kind of entitlement predicated on nothing but by virtue of merely being a woman. And this highlights that women actually recon, despite all the evidence against it, that they are a higher/upper class rendering men a lower caste. They are perfectly fine viewing men as a lower class as the expectation is for men to jump through a thousand hoops and more. We talk about political movements, feminism, socialism, things such as poverty and statistics but this very ideology that women hold over men is as toxic as anything so-called toxic masculinity could exhibit.
@EmMy You're talking about outliers though. He's talking about the average modern women. Some women have perfectly reasonable standards. But most don't. The ones that do, have a much easier time dating, and finding the man they want to be with. The ones that don't either remain unmarried their entire lives (which in the near future will be able half of all women in America.) Or they "settle" for what they can get. The ones that believe they settled usually end up getting divorced. 70% of all divorces are initiated by the women. And the number one reason that women divorce is because they're just bored in the marriage, and think there's something better out there. And most of the times they're wrong, and end up learning that the hard way. I read the book "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb. It's a real eye opener about womens unrealistic expectations.
Doesn't mean that is who I am. Yes, I believe I deserve the best but that is because I have my shit together, an amazing career, good credit, own my home and I'm a damn good woman. I'm also fit, I have no children and I'm a beautiful person in and out. I don't believe any person should ask for the best until they are the best person they can be. So to answer your question... No. I am not delusional :)
Wanted: A video in which you address those of us who have formed unreasonably high OR low standards as a defense mechanism for what we ACTUALLY encounter.
Most women want.... A guy who's 6"1 or taller. He needs to have a college degree. He needs to make at least 6 figures. He needs to be great in the bedroom and can't be a virgin. He needs to be strong and rough. Or they'll have no standards at all and choose the worse men possible.
That's what's happening in this world and it's horrible I know a great Friend of mine he's a great guy with great Heart who had a crush on a Girl and the Girl didn't like him because he was too and too romantic and she rejected him and my friend got heart broken he feel like he wasn't good enough and there are not alot of nice guys now these days and Girls always complain about how their boyfriends are jerks and all but hey you Choose him to be your boyfriend and deal with it you had opportunity to be with a great Guy with good heart and love you lost it and that's what's happening right now
My type is 5'8-5'9 or taller, but I dont mind shorter but I really would prefer a guy 5'8 or taller. I'm only 5 ft though. Are my expectations too high?
Be careful of people who tell you your standards are too high. Misery loves company so misery will say and do whatever it takes to keep you miserable with them. They just do not see it in their realm so they do not know it exists. It does not mean it does not exist.
Some standards can be too high though, if you expect a male model every time yet dont connect with them on a personal level then perhaps you have some superficial standards that are too high and personality ones arent high enough. Just an example.
@Chaitan Reddy Same goes for guys. I've seen many pursue women way outta their league. Meaning pudgy, unattractive guys go after supermodel types. If you want a fit supermodel, then you have to fit, and look like one yourself. Otherwise date women that are on your level.
I had standards that weren’t met when I was in my early 19-25 but now I’m meeting guys that like me more. I’ve been single for longer now but I’m excited.
Ladies you realize it's 2018 right? The man you guys giggle about the attractive rich guy is no longer settling divorce and child support is real. We have seen good men lose things that had before they met their spouse. We aren't playing that game we do cost benefit analysis on potential mates. Ask yourself self this if a man is making six figures. Has his own house, a nice car and is investing his money. Why would he choose a woman not at his level? Of you make 40K, live in an apartment and don't have at least 6 months worth of pay in the bank in the bank why should he choose you? If the roles were reversed the majority of you wouldn't pick him. Yet it amazes me....if you don't have the things you want when I meet you and the man does. I ask again why should he choose you?
For the second question about being defensive, how do you know that you're "overqualified" to that date the person or types of people you date? I'm sure that if you have to ask, then that's the case. But if you're standards are too low, then can you truly fall in love with that person if you know that you deserve better? And what if you are too good for that person but you don't realize that because you aren't secure with yourself and have low self-esteem? And if that's the case, then how do you know what and who you deserve? I really hope you see this and answer my questions because I really enjoy your videos and am always blown away by your insight and I'd absolutely love to hear your perspective on what I've asked. Thanks Matthew.
Its not hard...just take a look at yourself and compare who you are to what you want or usually date. If you find that you have more to offer than your partners then perhaps you are overqualified. People usually choose equals. Having low self esteem IS a factor into that because its a flaw on your personality and can make or break how people see you in a relationship. Low self esteem is usually not something most people want in a partner so that in and of itself can be a black check mark on your resume...so to speak.
This has blown my mind... My standards are basically those of the guys in manga books... However, I don't think I'm afraid of being hurt, I've never had a serious relationship that has hurted me. It has been a long time since I've really liked a guy, maybe 3 years and I'm 17, I'm supposed to be in the spring of love and craziness XD. Well, what may be true, though, is that I've never been comfortable next to the guys in my class, who made fun of me; this year we've changed classes and so I don't see them anymore but I'm kind of developing a personality in which I pretend to be stronger than I am, and I hate myself because I go around saying that I don't need a boyfriend because they are troublesome, but then I go home and read lovey dovey stuff hahahah
@@nofybn7794 lmao karen You are into every comment's replies😂😂 Calm down misandrist lady The world is void without men n you are here cuz of a man's semen as much as a womb. It's fine. preferences n standards r fine unless u don't deserve having them yourself
that guy does exist. still love him. just don't tolerate him. i believe in this thing where the women in my family historically marry a class up. my mother told me to educated myself and i have always took care of myself. also, now i am so polished and culturally well-versed, that i choose to keep this standard of limiting my pool to single and wealthy. it would actually harm me to have to see someone churn out the laborous, inclusive any collared 70 hour business week
I was asking myself this lately. I've been dating this guy for a few months and I try to show him my standards in a very fun way so he doesn't feel pressure or anything but he hasn't done much. Now, 2 of my 3 exes met my standards quite well so i know my standards are not imposible high or anything. That's why some times i think "How come it is so "hard" for you to be a little romantic when these other guys did just fine?" ive never told him that of course because i think comparing relationships is not the way to go but i cant help myself from thinking that. But he does nice things is good to me and funny and i really like him, yet, he is the least romantic man ive been with and it's bordering me because sometimes i dont feel appreciated. But most of the time i feel fine and confortable with him. So it might be me wanting too much or it might be him not giving his best or both
This is a little late...but a guy wh ain't putting much effort when dating you, I can only imagine how much effort he will be putting once you're married.... Having standards isn't bad - if anything, certain types of standard women have too low with all these women married to loser men (cheaters, abusers, addicts, poor with money, etc.) - it's just a matter of what type of standards you wanna have and what they bring to/ do for you.
Been pondering these questions for 24 hrs now, and I still can't answer them! I need to do a little more self reflection I think, it's amazing how you think you know yourself when actually, you don't have a clue! P.s Gutted I missed the live tour in UK. P.p.s I think you may be my dream guy, not even lying haha
People always tell me that my standards are too high and that the guy I'm looking for doesn't exist. The thing is that I know loads of men who are exactly what I'm looking for ... but they're all married. :(
I believe there are some out there! ^_^ I guess it's the eternal optimist in me. I never said anywhere in my comment that I cared about looks--it's not the physical appearance that I'm having a hard time finding. I want to find a guy who is intellectually curious, confident but humble, is noble man of good character, wants some romance sometimes and has a good sense of humor ... and one who believes in Jesus Christ. I really could care less about a man's looks. I just can't seem to find a guy who wants to talk about anything aside from superficial stuff. I want to talk about philosophy, psychology, the meaning of life, the universe and everything ... not whether or not I watched "Walking Dead" last night. Honestly the depth and intellectual curiosity is the most elusive quality, it seems. I mean, sure: just like everyone else I have physical attraction desires but yeah, not what's keeping me single. A killer personality is so much more attractive.
Well..there are many guys who fit that description. I think more than you would imagine but the majority of the world are not seekers as people like you and I....still they are out there. You just have to be willing to wait for it.
Three questions to determine if your standards for men are too high: 1. Does my standard exist in a real person? 2. Is this a defense mechanism preventing me from being vulnerable? 3. Am I forcing my standard too soon for the other person to raise their behavior to my standards?
What if theres no physical attraction on the first date, should one keep seeing the person hoping that something will change in the way you look at the person?
Hmmm my word of advice is, How is their character and persona? Because my dear looks are gonna fade someday and what will last is how the person is on the inside :)
If you are a woman, yes. If he is not half bad, & has characteristics you want in a mate, give him 3 dates. Women bond via physical chemistry. By the third date and hopefully a kiss, you will know if your body is bonding. I dated several men I was not into at first. And by the third date, he kisses me and boom. A shift. Then again, several men it did not happen for. So boom. Never saw them again. ;)
Are you even attractive? Very shallow.. I agree physicall attraction is the first thing one sees when getting to know someone But I've went on dates with extremely gorgeous women that downright turned me the fuck off and I'm a man the fact I had to turn em now was pathetic Try your date out and don't make em feel use. Contribute n reciprocate pay for the the tip or offer to pay your own share equally, you rejecting men before then even speak without getting to know them
I feel I can answer no to all of these questions, but still wonder if I am too picky. I find all kinds of people that are sweet and that I share common interests with but I'm not physically attracted to them. I had very low standards in physical appearance and found myself in a relationship with someone I wasn't really attracted to for years and felt unsatisfied. I've since had relationships with people who I am physically attracted to. Now I'm finding myself turning down loads of people who are not stirring something within me and feeling lonely. Should I lower my standards again and chance feeling dissatisfied in another long term relationship? Is it unreasonable for me to feel dissatisfied with someone because I have never felt butterflies when I looked at them?
Sometimes we feel butterflies/attraction right away. Sometimes it can happen later on. Some even have friends who know each other for years, then one day suddenly feelings change and an attraction appears. Everyone we meet is different so keep an open mind in getting to know someone and just pay attention to if you are enjoying their company or not first. Like he said in this video, do not think about anything long term/marriage material in the beginning or you’ll ruin it before it begins. I also would never progress from dating or just getting to know them if the attraction never comes. Just make sure you always communicate clearly if ever you’re not ready to progress/move on to any step you don’t want to.
The more younger very attractive women are gonna be more status seeking than the average to below average looking woman.I find that the more unattractive looking women are usually the less picky women.
Maybe but nowadays everyone is pretty.. from the early age, we tell our kids how awesome they are, and how beautiful.. lots of people love themselves a lot and consider themselves super attractive. I'm not saying that's everyone's case, but a lot of people are like this, look at how many selfies people take, or take snapchat, people are showing temselves off. So they are picky and want to find someone that 'diserve' them. Men just as much as women...
Belieberssss Well I will say that even if a person considers themselves attractive, there are many people out there that won't be attracted to them and no matter how much we tell our children how beautiful they are, if the other kids at school don't think so, then among their peers, they aren't attractive. When I was in school, I was average but I saw that the good looking guys were the ones that got all the attention and girls and yes the selfies are plentiful on social media quite a bit nowadays and mostly those that take the selfies are very attractive people and get lots of attention. Also they are seeking some validation from others that they are accepted and liked.
I agree with you on the fact that everyone has their own view of what beauty is. I just don't like to think that there are good looking people, and average looking ones or even worse, bad looking people.. To me, as you said, everyone finds beautiful what they think is beautiful, so the good looking dude can become the ugliest for someone. I think what works is confidence. People that are "good looking" are just the one that believe their good looking, and they act as if everyone knew it.. I think that's why they attract other people !
Belieberssss Well in my mind growing up and as I got into being an adult, I always thought I was attractive but most girls didn't think that about me, so it was always other guys that got the attention and sometimes it's not just the looks that attract someone. I've seen some ugly to average looking guys that were with very pretty girls and wondered what she saw in the guy, so there are other qualities other than good looks that people find attractive about a person.
That's exaclty what i'm telling you ^^ You're saying "there are more than just looks" true but these "pretty girls" (in your point of view) liked what these "ugly" guys' look (ugly is your point of view again). They had to desire them at least a little, so yeah maybe they fell in love cause of what they were thinking and how they were as people, but these girls had to like what these boys looked like otherwise they couldn't have dated. Without desire, it's just friendship But I think we're saying pretty much the same thing :)
Interesting, ive read marry him by lori gottlieb and she preaches the complete opposite. She says marry the “nice guy” who’s completely safe who would never reject you 🙃
its not necessarily impossible but many women really believes the guy they want are available, single and is interested about them. its not like that. many high level dudes are married or just play and have multiple partners. they don't give a shit and the good guys remains alone because women wont lower their standards.
The only thing I dislike, being vulnerable....Yeah I don't do that. Sometimes I think really that's it. I don't let him open the door and I can do my own work, and really I don't feel that I should have to validate his manliness. I can do my own work, guess I am just going to be the one whom is alone.
yasmine rose Not actually I am fine. I don't need another person. Besides why should I give up half my life just to spend it with someone? I can do everything I need for myself. My confidence is fine thank you. That's not the problem. The problem is this. I have an idea of whom I am and I am not going to go around changing myself just so someone else can feel stronger. If a man can't handle the fact that I can do things on my own, why be with him? I am not looking for a knight anyways. I am fine with whom I am.
Many girls watch too much movie, and want a guy like the leading actor in real life. But, she's not like the leading actress either!
Come back to earth please, you're not in a movie!
I like you
So true Men can do that I mean I would love to hook up with Emma Stone but that ain't going to happen. Girls get hung up on that shit a lot more than Guys.
I like that your last name is "Du" and you said something that is obvious.
Vanessa Du true
🤣👍👍
Best Advice Ever, "Would you Date yourself."
Allen McIver hahaha NO
Yes, because I understand myself
No def not
Yes. I know myself.
Pfft, fuck no. I know myself.
He signed off with, "Take care, my friends." Did we just get friend-zoned by Matthew Hussey??
:( hahaha
Avonlea Montague you all friend zone guys constantly. Hypocrital much lol
No you boyfriend zoned him lol
you did ugly
💔💔💔
"Omg dating is sooo hard I have tons of guys interested in me I feel like I'm checking the menu at a restaurant and I can choose whatever I want, I have too many options! I hate dating!".-girls
I like seafood but I'm trapped inside a Denny's. That's what it feels like.
My mother always says: "If you date the 'popular' guy you'll never have him for yourself but if you date a trustful man with a great hart you'll live an amazing life." My mom has had a relationship with my dad since her high school.
@Onion Potato I don't even want to date some model looking chick. It would feel too artificial and no on needs that shit personality
The worst of all is dating the average one thinking that he is trustworthy tgen after years u would find that is not the case haha
You're mom's a fucking guru
I was never popular in school, I was bullied and after my 10-year relationship with someone similar to Amber Heard, I have to say that being single is awesome!
at older times people used to be smarter
I know a girl like that. She met lots of good guys, but it's always some bullshit like "he's too short" (she's 5'1 btw), "he got the wrong hair color", "he's not this..", "he's not that".. bla bla bla. and she is acting so damn entitled that pretty much everyone told her that she'll remain single forever.
Well it is true that people are attracted to people with certain hair colors. Why do you think there are guys who are attracted to blonde girls only? Because they like the hair color and there's something about they're hair color that stands out to them.
@ you clearly don't know how everyone will respond to people considered attractive. Just because someone is considered attractive doesn't mean everyone will automatically change their preference just because the girl is into them. And yes it does matter because some guys will only date blonde girls and could care less if a girl is good looking or not. Some guys won't accept anything less than a girl whose blonde. Maybe you wouldn't care but you don't speak for everyone. Don't say it wouldn't matter if an attractive girl was into a guy because the guy would suddenly alter his mind. Guess what...everyone won't do that, maybe you would do that. Don't think that everyone would do what you would do if a girl is good looking because everybody is different. So I'm not an idiot I'm stating facts that some guys won't accept anything less than a blonde girl. Just like some girls won't accept anything less than a guy whose taller than her despite him having qualities she'd want in a guy...some girls won't settle for less. if you think some guys will alter their preference for a girl because she's good looking then you are wrong and don't speak for everyone else. Some people have high expectations and won't tolerate anything lower than that.
@@marcusmelton2295 You are wrong. Theres always exceptions to the rule, but it still doesnt change the rule. Females are notorious for having crazy unrealistic standards. They even portray this in movies and tv shows. Women are also brainwashed by both of these as well. Do you really think men and women are the same. You must be young and still need alot of years of dealing with females to know how they are. Either that or youre raised by a single mother and females can do no wrong. Choose which one...most likely both.
@ I agree with what your saying...I was only talking about how just like there are women who have ridiculous standards or won't accept anything less, there are some guys who won't accept anything but blonde girls. I've seen videos where girls who are like in the 5 ft range say they want a guy whose like 6ft something. Some are like 5'5 or whatever but some were 5'10-11 but still I was only talking about how just like how some girls won't accept anything less, some guys won't either even if its a ridiculous. I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I know there are females who have ridiculous standards.
What about overweight people disgusted by dating other overweight people. Someone that wants someone fit but never will dream about a gym. Now that's bullshit. Smh
This was INCREDIBLY insightful. Especially the point where you talk about dating the guy who will never reject you--and not the guy you are afraid to be rejected by.
If there’s any ladies who’s number 2 like I was, please remember to not judge by looks, I was treated like crap by one bf and left by another who were notably below my standards (friends strangers and family would make comments throughout relationships etc) that I accepted into my life thinking they’d be more appreciative to have me and less likely to leave, whereas I’m now seeing guys who are more my standards and they have treated me well. I realised it wasn’t the guys fault, I chose to settle and accepted the love and treatment I thought I deserved. I had to improve my mind set, life goals and self esteem to date better ones I freely. Remember everyone is flawed so don’t put men on pedestals, get to know everyone equally, trust until they prove they can’t be trusted by their actions, not by how you expect them to act, if they reject you that’s ok anybody has the right to and they probs weren’t right for you, don’t be scared to receive and reciprocate attention from someone you find charming or talented, they found you interesting for a reason so explore that.
Ha! Yeah beware of the "nice guy" you think will never hurt you! The nicest guy I dated is absolutely the one who hurt me the worst! Turns out he was not so nice at all. He actually lied the most out of every guy I have dated because he withheld his feelings of unhappiness for years. I lowered my standards and overlooked the red flags with him - because he was so nice! Won't make that mistake again.....
"Enjoy that book that you are reading.... not in public" hahhaha I died 😂
I know a couple of girls who have been on HUNDREDS of dates and claim they couldn't find anyone they "clicked" with. That's when you gotta look at the mirror.
Ladies, perfect doesn't exist. Make sure you don't fall in love with your fantasies instead of the actual person, since the reality tends to come down hard on y'all.
Also, don't let your friends decide who you're dating. It's YOU that makes the decision. If they shoot down every guy you're dating or make you choose between them and your date, are they really your friends?
I don't know, but too many times I've heard a woman say: "You're such a sweet gentleman and I really liked you, but my friends didn't quite feel you."
At least don't judge the dude your friend is going on a date with, before you have met him in person.
finnishguy845 dude a girl rejected me becauae her friends said it wont look right for a tall girl to date a short guy. She said I was attractive and like my personality lol. Like she was literally about to ask when our date was gonna be.Her fucking friends said that and she changed her mind.That is some bullshit.
I would agree with you in most cases. But it might really be true, if it's not a question of standards, but compatibility.
If you have other interests than the main stream, it might just be difficult to find the person who understands or matches you. This has nothing to do with overvaluing yourself or requiring too much.
It might be hard to find the right environment where like-minded people would be. Many dates but in the wrong environment are expected to not lead to a match.
@ Not only men. There is also society that raises many womens value artifically, and creates wrong values they seek. Same as many men btw, society has become more superficial than it ever was.
I dunno maybe because girls wants to spend their affection and love onto someone who actually gives a damn 🤷🏽♀️
@@yadagasai9304 good joke.
'What is more sexy than a millionaire? A billionaire (who spanks people)'. Ok the video is going to be great
Everything you mentioned was right. I did lower my standard to my ex then he treated me badly. After watching your videos and reading your books, i know how my standard for a man should be. I talked to him and he asked for a chance to make up for his mistakes. I'm not sure he can change truly or not but he is getting better :)
I'm going to die alone.
You won't die alone. I'll be there dying alone, right next to you .. :(
RVA FOX :-* ♡
+S Smith hahahaha this cracks me up!! yeahh i'll join u there ;P
+S Smith .....me too
Same
This guy is hot!
"a billionaire...who spanks people" haha made me laugh!
@@5tonyvvvv ...ouch
WHY Im MGTOW!
Attention seeking Cunts! That Always Flake!
@@5tonyvvvv is it your own way to insult people like that ?
I'm pretty sure you got the red pill rage but please chills out and remove those horrible comments.
Ahhh that subtle not so subtle fifty shades reference
my standards are so low, a girl just needs to say yes to a date. been single for ten years now. kinda thinking that i wont find anyone.
I think i need to live with matthew so i can be decent at relationships, I need him so bad
I need him more than I got him
Be a decent individual and maybe you will deserve a good relationship.
A lot of modern women have lost that.
you just need common sense lol
you just need common sense lol
Ugh, this takes me back to my high school and college days, when certain groups of single women just seemed to form these cliques that were all about circle-jerking eachother's standards of men. They were always unapproachable, yet sobbed all over their myspace and facebook pages about how there weren't any good men or some other bullshit. I still am friends with many of these women on facebook, and in all cases one of the following happened:
1. They are still single and still in what remains of their little clique whining about how there aren't any good men.
2. They panicked and left their little clique to settle for a guy who's absolute shit.
3. They actually realized how toxic the clique was and got out just in time to meet a man who met or even exceeded a few of their standards and was willing to grow to meet others.
Thats modern women for you brotha.
Maybe relating this and anything else to school days isn’t the best thing. If someone seems unapproachable, there could be a thousand reasons so never assume you know someone by labeling them as a ‘type’. Stereo typing is stigmatizing among many other things happening here and that is not ok.
Learn to be open minded, and when someone is truly unapproachable, accept it, move on and be happy. It’s that easy.
I've always been very insecure about myself bc every time I had the courage to talk to a girl they would ignore me one time a girl said to my face go away you are ugly I never talk to anyone anymore and my friends left me because now they think I am cringe. I just wish I had more friends I only have one friend that sticks with me through the hard times.
sounds like a branding problem. You must realize that being liked by people is like building your own brand - its all about marketing skills and tactics. If you dont like how you look - change it. Hit the gym, get some nice hair cut, maybe grow a beard, take care of your skin, ect. Go wtch some make over show to see how different people can become. About the gringe - its good to think about what exacly make people percive you this way. What do you express and why. And after that - to change it.
The biggest issue I am seeing with most women today is the value they put on how a man looks. It has gotten so bad that they are willing to take a good looking man that comes with a list of problems over an average looking guy that has good values and standards. That is why a lot of them end up in bad relationships and instead of blaming the men they they are choosing, they blame all men.
Women bring up all these ridiculous standards to the table, but what value are they bringing to back all that up?
Your head
Same goes for men lol. As if women want all that matthew listed. He talked to those who do. The vast majority does not. And a response like yours sounds bitter and indicates that you don't have luck with women. Ask yourself why. What do you bring to the table.
Alissa Dem men bring the house the, food, the car, and the table to the table. lol
You are so true Jake Mac
The fact is, it’s not just Men, it’s not just women, it’s not everyone. It’s a lot of people.
A have a lot of friends who say they won’t lower their standards. They are all late 30s and dating. I think another factor here is that I have seen some of my friends lie to themselves about what they want: they say they want love and someone to share their lives with. Then they meet a good guy, and suddenly they don’t like the guy and bad. In most cases, what was wrong with the guy? No money. And by no money I don’t mean poor, but not millionaire. And so the search for “love” continues. I think some women need to really go back and truly know what they want. If they want a guy with money, that’s it! But don’t lie to yourselves saying you want “love”. A friend of mine, very pretty but superficial, and has been single for years! And extremely picky, waiting to meet a millionaire handsome with abs, well traveled, who wants to marry her and have kids and she doesn’t have to work etc etc. That’s a lot to put on the other person! In my personal experience, love is about partnership not about what you can get from the other person.
Girl: _I want a 7' minium guy he has to be at least a billionare, he has to have abs and has to have perfect hair, smell nice, and have an amazing personality, to treat me like a queen and to cook for me, to give me flowers while I don't do shit at all._
_And btw, I'm a 4'10" 300-pound landwhale who's out of breath after 2 minutes of walking. I DESERVE the best_
@@yellow155 LMAO🤣
LOL
While she looks like a cute potato 🥔 Loool
The tallest billionare Is 6'3"
So true, you hit on the head....I settle with the "ok" guys because I fear rejection from the one I really find attractive.
Capri82
Wow so im assuming you want the men in the top 15% like every other woman
Capri82 or maybe the really attractive ones are out of your league
Also, why do you fear rejection from good looking guys?? It should sting less if they reject you because theyre attractive and have alot of options.
@@ricorogers9319 Sexist and wrong.
@ Guys don't like cowards, but they are?
you are seriously so inspiring, your videos are making this break up i'm going through so much easier and thank u for that!
Go fuck yourself
Enjoy your cats fat girl
if you're talking about standards regarding things like looks, career, status, money, etc. then it can be a real problem. I would never want a woman to like me just for my looks or job. Now if you're talking about standards regarding personality, character, and how they treat you, then these should definitely be high for both of you. Do not compromise on these things.
Love yourself FIRST, because that is who you will be spending the rest of your life with.
men get blamed for a lot of stuff girls do too. like beauty standards. a lot of men have high beauty standards but that doesn't mean girls don't
Exactly
Wow this guy has the guts to say the truth but also the ability to say it without hurting other's sentiment.
Ouch. This was too true.
It hurts to know I have to allow myself to be vulnerable again but I know it will help me lol😖
yea, you women folk seem to have an allergy to reality and truth, but hey don't worry you get used to it
Generally people who have standards happen to have same or similar standards for themselves as well. Unrealistic or high standard would be wanting to marry a billionaire when you're not one.
saniyauzumaki people who have standards have high standards for themselves? Yes and no. I don't see women in great condition yet demanding for all sorts standards. 1 word. Entitlement.
The advice about messed-up standards on the third point is pretty cool because it also applies to the friends in your life as well.
For example, if you have friends who are always late to events, you can set the standard that the events will happen without them. If the friends really do want to attend your gatherings, they WILL make the effort to show up on time; if not, then they may not be worth inviting out again.
I personally use this advice to let people know that I have a high standard for straightforwardness, so people who may be passive-aggressive know better to pull those traits around me.
I never did understand why people have such high unrealistic expectations for their life partner, but complain about friends who clearly do not meet their standards for decent human beings...
You exist, Matt
and Nr. 4: Are you living up to your standards yourself?
I think it's mostly because of Taylor Swift videos and mainstream music (too many love songs out there). It just gets in a woman's head and they day dream about the perfect guy for them, thus narrowing their net (like the person below me stated). I feel like women's standards for guys these days are so high. It's like, looks come first, then personality comes next. Back in the day, you hear about an ugly guy dating a gorgeous girl. Nowadays, I never see that anymore.
Unless the guy is filthy rich, then obviously they can get access to most girls
Not always the case. I happen to be a girl, and it also happens that personality always comes first. I can't live with someone who looks good but treats me bad. Looks are important, yes, but I wouldn't give up on a man who's good to me just because he's not a Kalvin Klein model.
Women's standards for men are generally higher than men's standards for women and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. A lot of the things I've observed that women like in men don't have as much to do with how they look though.
I want a soft-looking person that's at least 5'6. And a nice person. That's it.
Why should a woman date an "ugly guy"? 😂 That's absurd.
@Chaitan Reddy No woman wants an ugly dude. Just like no man wants an ugly woman. 😂 Understand?
Matthew has a good sense of humor. He makes his videos entertaining because as I am watching them I notice that I keep laughing throughout the entirety.
Gentleman, how many of you have seen a profile in a dating app with a sentence along the lines of: "Under 6'? Swipe left".
And just like that, me (I'm 5'8") and 86% of man are no good enough for the majority of women.
And that is *ONE* of the requirements that you need to have for women just talking with you.
News flash, for the best guys, 6', 6 pack, 6 figures salary, jaw line, etc. These guys are having the time of their lives, and they won't settle down.
*Because they don't need to*
Because *ALL* the woman want them.
but really, all of us just want a man like you Matt ;)
Yet very few are you are the female equivalent of him...
AllGuts NoGlory I disagree, you'd be surprised how open and accomodating some men are. If you perhaps stopped going for the loudest guy in the room you might notice that some are quite passionate and have a more quiet confidence too.
AllGuts NoGlory "Let me put it this way if a man applies for a job with me I constantly say in a condescending tone "are you sure you know what you are doing?" over 10 million times and then expect the same guy to do work for me without paying him money because he should work for free of course. "
what the?
And you didn't listen to this video
AllGuts NoGlory Oh I bent over backwards for girls in my late teens-mid twenties. It's only gotten me hurt every time.
I have come to learn that my standards are pretty low.
Because I've dated some right plonkers. :)
Cla abc Sadly I have had a guy wayyyyyy beneath me just dump me. You know you have hit rock bottom when this happens.
Enlightened me what are your standards
Having high standards for a guy or a woman is not the way.
The only person in the comment section who speaks the truth.
"a billionaire…who spanks people"
LOL
I don't think having standards are a bad thing. As long as they are responsible and your not too picky. A guy i was dating said that he doesn't think he can live up to my expectations which really hurt because I wasn't asking for something that wasn't achievable . I think sometimes a guy will make you feel bad about having standards because sometimes they can get really lazy and they don't want to put in much effort and I think that's what really happened in this situation with me.
Why would a guy want to continue attempting to live up to another human’s expectations? What do you bring to the table that would make him want you vs a girl who actually cares about building a genuine connection. You reduce yourself to sex with this approach because after the sex the guy will be more logical and when he assesses in his mind that long term you won’t be a fulfilling kind partner then he will come up with any excuse after the sex to disconnect. This is so common. Make sure you can bring every expectation you have to the table. Want a tall guy, be fit and slim, want this bring that, what a high value guy, have a low body count, want a traditional masculine man, be a traditional feminine woman.
quick answer: yes i have very high standards. but only two and they are most necessary. they must understand every level of me, and i must understand every level of them. if we can not communicate our deepest darkest secrets to one another, then the relationship isn't going to work out. i value honesty above all, and because i'm such a rare unique person, it is hard to find someone who meets these qualities, as very few people will understand the deepest parts of me.
When I reject a guy on the first date, it's usually because he gives off a 'weird' vibe and I've come to trust my instincts on this. Usually bravado that's meant to hide neediness, insecurity or what I sense to be a violent streak. "If you're this self-centered with a stranger, how will you be in a relationship?". Also a major problem: when I just don't imagine myself in bed with this person. At all. I mean, maybe attraction can really 'grow', but can it grow out of nothing?
Maybe stop looking for looks.
i don't think there's anything wong with being picky as long as its not completely unrealistic i.e. must look like david beckham, must be rich, must buy me diamonds. for me i want a guy who i find attractive physically; he needs to take care of his appearance and body. im not looking for a guy who a six pack or who looks like a model, but a guy who takes care of himself (it's only fair as i make the effort to take care of my appearance). also i look for a guy who is caring, funny, faithful and treats me like i deserve to be treated.
ive been single for a long time because i am fussy, but i'd rather be single than settle for someone who im not happy with. ive tried to do that before and it didn't work out and my gut instinct was right about that. i think you can usually tell early on if the spark isn't there and there's no point trying to force it. i think when you wait for the right person its more special because it shows how rare they are and how waiting paid off. if you settle for someone, you just take them for granted and you don't appreciate them because you got them so easily, almost effortlessly.
I'd rather be alone, than be with someone who's an idiot like you!
Enjoy your cats
What if your standards are just physical but are impossibly high?
RTHA300 lmaoo best reply
@@kalkent7845 I will do that, thanks! I too rather be alone than with someone I'm not into.
I think it's not just "high" standard, it's also specific standards that are impossible. I mean, if you're looking for a guy who's so very much similar to your own self, the odds of meeting him is probably really low.
Your standards are your standards! lowering them will prevent you from finding your perfect match. How can we dictate what a person finds desirable or preferential? I say stick to your standards, for everyone has standards and preferences.
Girl: How tall are you?
Man: How much do you weigh?
Girl: *S E X I S M*
YES, THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! IT is sexism. How tall is just a question. Not women's fault women are usually shorter then guys and that is how life is and women want a guy taller then them. Not our fault it worked out that way. But guys are just being sexist asking weight. FACT.
nofy bn no facts sweetie. It’s just a question about weight. Just like it’s a question about height. It’s not sexist at all actually
Ben height is a genetic lottery you can't change that. Weight is your choice 🙃 or are you so ignorant you can't see that
I never asked a man how tall he is. I mean who cares? I am pretty small and my biggest crush was tinier than me.
@@nofybn7794 you can change your weight, go to the gym once, you cant change height yet you still want people to change to your liking, now that is sexsim and women do it
I would rather live alone than lower my standards. For example: I had 4 guys text me last night asking me to hang out - AT 9:30PM and later! REALLY guys?? I gave and still give all of them chances and so far none of them will step up. I think one big fear guys have is ending up in the friend zone and yet the only way I will even consider dating any of them is if they show they are an actual friend first.
Bertha - when it's a last minute invite and you don't really know the guy, safety dictates to say no. If he's a friend that's different. The second part of your comment really has nothing to do with what I shared.
Enjoy your cats then
Nine fucking thirty?! Jesus you can smell the self entitlement on these shitheads. As a guy I'm appalled :(.
Alessandra Burenin
I hope you stay the way you are (listen to Bruno Mars), because I'm heavily investing in cat food!
Alessandra Burenin Bitch you're ugly and old. No man will commit to ugly and old.
I still have to improve myself as a 18 year-old female before I can consider such things as dating. I don't offer much except for a good smile, loads of videogames and one meal I can say I expertly cook. Somewhat.
藤岡英恵 I like a girl like that. Not meaning ill ever get a girl like you though
What Not To Do At a Stoplight Thanks! And yeah, same here. I'm an awkward person so that's something I gotta change first. I also wish you good luck! ^^
Do yourself a favor, and future men in your life as well: Learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, and how to become a more nurturing caring woman. Men want feminine women, who can serve a purpose. Not just take take and want from us.
So you don't like sex? You know casual dating is a thing
So if I say it's ok, then they will always do it, whether they are a good person or not!
I'm not looking for a relationship but you teach me so much about getting healthy and good people around me!! Thank you so much♥️♥️♥️
Must:
Be 6 foot or over
Drive a car
Have his own place
Earn more than she does
Be in somewhat athletic shape
Extroverted
Sense of humour
Strong social life/circle
No mental health issues
Not be bald/balding
No signs of weaknesses as human being
Take the blame
Take full ownership should things hit the rocks
Your money is hers and hers is hers
This just straight of the top of my head, but this list could go on ad infinitum. The crucial thing is women NEVER apply this to themselves and the vast majority could barely check 3 of these criteria! They are a kind of elite, a class, much like politicians, were its a case of 'Good for thee but not for me', 'Do as I say but not as I do'. A kind of entitlement predicated on nothing but by virtue of merely being a woman. And this highlights that women actually recon, despite all the evidence against it, that they are a higher/upper class rendering men a lower caste.
They are perfectly fine viewing men as a lower class as the expectation is for men to jump through a thousand hoops and more. We talk about political movements, feminism, socialism, things such as poverty and statistics but this very ideology that women hold over men is as toxic as anything so-called toxic masculinity could exhibit.
@EmMy You're talking about outliers though. He's talking about the average modern women. Some women have perfectly reasonable standards. But most don't. The ones that do, have a much easier time dating, and finding the man they want to be with. The ones that don't either remain unmarried their entire lives (which in the near future will be able half of all women in America.) Or they "settle" for what they can get. The ones that believe they settled usually end up getting divorced. 70% of all divorces are initiated by the women. And the number one reason that women divorce is because they're just bored in the marriage, and think there's something better out there. And most of the times they're wrong, and end up learning that the hard way. I read the book "Marry Him" by Lori Gottlieb. It's a real eye opener about womens unrealistic expectations.
@@jaythenihilist4689 how many girls have u talked in real not online
I love it
"Not in public"
For the get the guy tour should be just bring an ID because they're not an actual ticket.
Do you want perfection or find someone you can trust and love ?
1) Yes 2) No 3) No - I've been patient and and know my worth
Delusional? Most women think they are special and deserve the best. They never think of what they can offer to their best to be with them!!!
Doesn't mean that is who I am. Yes, I believe I deserve the best but that is because I have my shit together, an amazing career, good credit, own my home and I'm a damn good woman. I'm also fit, I have no children and I'm a beautiful person in and out. I don't believe any person should ask for the best until they are the best person they can be. So to answer your question... No. I am not delusional :)
Tina Drosos with that nose and eyes. I can't look at you twice.
I'll take that as a compliment :)
+Tina Drosos most women like you think they are special, but really they are shit and bring nothing to the table, so fuck off high standards bitch.
I'm going to die alone 😹
Good. Please don’t reproduce.
I can relate
And you stop being a bitter fucking virgin loser
try being a man
try being a man
Wanted: A video in which you address those of us who have formed unreasonably high OR low standards as a defense mechanism for what we ACTUALLY encounter.
Most women want....
A guy who's 6"1 or taller.
He needs to have a college degree.
He needs to make at least 6 figures.
He needs to be great in the bedroom and can't be a virgin.
He needs to be strong and rough.
Or they'll have no standards at all and choose the worse men possible.
That's why most men are going mgtow, lol females will either invest in sex dolls or cats
It's sad tbh, but hey it's the nature of the game
@@harambey but most men are sex hungry jerks that's why we only play with them
That's what's happening in this world and it's horrible I know a great Friend of mine he's a great guy with great Heart who had a crush on a Girl and the Girl didn't like him because he was too and too romantic and she rejected him and my friend got heart broken he feel like he wasn't good enough and there are not alot of nice guys now these days and Girls always complain about how their boyfriends are jerks and all but hey you Choose him to be your boyfriend and deal with it you had opportunity to be with a great Guy with good heart and love you lost it and that's what's happening right now
I´m that and not getting anything
My type is 5'8-5'9 or taller, but I dont mind shorter but I really would prefer a guy 5'8 or taller. I'm only 5 ft though. Are my expectations too high?
Be careful of people who tell you your standards are too high. Misery loves company so misery will say and do whatever it takes to keep you miserable with them. They just do not see it in their realm so they do not know it exists. It does not mean it does not exist.
Some standards can be too high though, if you expect a male model every time yet dont connect with them on a personal level then perhaps you have some superficial standards that are too high and personality ones arent high enough. Just an example.
@Chaitan Reddy Same goes for guys. I've seen many pursue women way outta their league. Meaning pudgy, unattractive guys go after supermodel types. If you want a fit supermodel, then you have to fit, and look like one yourself. Otherwise date women that are on your level.
I had standards that weren’t met when I was in my early 19-25 but now I’m meeting guys that like me more. I’ve been single for longer now but I’m excited.
Like always Matthew Hussey this is another great video with great advice.
You don't need advice you need to make a sandwich
No it is about lowering your standards
Ladies you realize it's 2018 right? The man you guys giggle about the attractive rich guy is no longer settling divorce and child support is real. We have seen good men lose things that had before they met their spouse. We aren't playing that game we do cost benefit analysis on potential mates. Ask yourself self this if a man is making six figures. Has his own house, a nice car and is investing his money. Why would he choose a woman not at his level? Of you make 40K, live in an apartment and don't have at least 6 months worth of pay in the bank in the bank why should he choose you? If the roles were reversed the majority of you wouldn't pick him. Yet it amazes me....if you don't have the things you want when I meet you and the man does. I ask again why should he choose you?
For the second question about being defensive, how do you know that you're "overqualified" to that date the person or types of people you date? I'm sure that if you have to ask, then that's the case. But if you're standards are too low, then can you truly fall in love with that person if you know that you deserve better? And what if you are too good for that person but you don't realize that because you aren't secure with yourself and have low self-esteem? And if that's the case, then how do you know what and who you deserve? I really hope you see this and answer my questions because I really enjoy your videos and am always blown away by your insight and I'd absolutely love to hear your perspective on what I've asked. Thanks Matthew.
Its not hard...just take a look at yourself and compare who you are to what you want or usually date. If you find that you have more to offer than your partners then perhaps you are overqualified. People usually choose equals. Having low self esteem IS a factor into that because its a flaw on your personality and can make or break how people see you in a relationship. Low self esteem is usually not something most people want in a partner so that in and of itself can be a black check mark on your resume...so to speak.
This has blown my mind... My standards are basically those of the guys in manga books... However, I don't think I'm afraid of being hurt, I've never had a serious relationship that has hurted me. It has been a long time since I've really liked a guy, maybe 3 years and I'm 17, I'm supposed to be in the spring of love and craziness XD. Well, what may be true, though, is that I've never been comfortable next to the guys in my class, who made fun of me; this year we've changed classes and so I don't see them anymore but I'm kind of developing a personality in which I pretend to be stronger than I am, and I hate myself because I go around saying that I don't need a boyfriend because they are troublesome, but then I go home and read lovey dovey stuff hahahah
Typical female....
@@TezukaKohei nah, she seems pretty awkward
You should get Jameson to film a video pretending to be you and see what he comes up with lol
no not high actually but id love to connect with someone both mentally and physically :)
You should make also a video with " Are your standard too low for a guy ? " :))
Ghost Rider some girls will do it. I don't understand why, but It happens more often than you think.
@ Not true, there are loads of women with more attractive men. The truth is that there are no simple rules.
Nobody should fuck anybody before marriage. Focus on career, bexome no1 In the world, then you choice!
@ Or women are better, kinder not as shallow as guys are.
@@nofybn7794 lmao karen
You are into every comment's replies😂😂
Calm down misandrist lady
The world is void without men n you are here cuz of a man's semen as much as a womb.
It's fine. preferences n standards r fine unless u don't deserve having them yourself
I clicked on the thumbnail because I thought you were Chris Evans. I was going to say "What the hell Captain American doing giving dating advice?" lol
That totally depends on your intentions with the fellow, indeed.
that guy does exist. still love him. just don't tolerate him.
i believe in this thing where the women in my family historically marry a class up. my mother told me to educated myself and i have always took care of myself. also, now i am so polished and culturally well-versed, that i choose to keep this standard of limiting my pool to single and wealthy. it would actually harm me to have to see someone churn out the laborous, inclusive any collared 70 hour business week
I was asking myself this lately. I've been dating this guy for a few months and I try to show him my standards in a very fun way so he doesn't feel pressure or anything but he hasn't done much. Now, 2 of my 3 exes met my standards quite well so i know my standards are not imposible high or anything. That's why some times i think "How come it is so "hard" for you to be a little romantic when these other guys did just fine?" ive never told him that of course because i think comparing relationships is not the way to go but i cant help myself from thinking that. But he does nice things is good to me and funny and i really like him, yet, he is the least romantic man ive been with and it's bordering me because sometimes i dont feel appreciated. But most of the time i feel fine and confortable with him. So it might be me wanting too much or it might be him not giving his best or both
This is a little late...but a guy wh ain't putting much effort when dating you, I can only imagine how much effort he will be putting once you're married....
Having standards isn't bad - if anything, certain types of standard women have too low with all these women married to loser men (cheaters, abusers, addicts, poor with money, etc.) - it's just a matter of what type of standards you wanna have and what they bring to/ do for you.
If you don't feel appreciated dump him.
Do you fit in his standards little princess?
@@francisduran9220 yes thanks for asking
@@haxyquinn yes sure, 🙄🙄🙄
WOOPS I BLEW IT. when he got to second and third point and I was like aww shit
Been pondering these questions for 24 hrs now, and I still can't answer them! I need to do a little more self reflection I think, it's amazing how you think you know yourself when actually, you don't have a clue!
P.s Gutted I missed the live tour in UK. P.p.s I think you may be my dream guy, not even lying haha
Right on Matt...super excited to see your GTG seminar next weekend in Chicago!
Excellent Matthew! I do find myself thinking I know if I like him or not in the first five minutes!! You have taught me give him a chance!
People always tell me that my standards are too high and that the guy I'm looking for doesn't exist. The thing is that I know loads of men who are exactly what I'm looking for ... but they're all married. :(
Samantha Beaty there are some out there. Hard to find. It's better to settle from an average man than a superficial good looks one all the time.
I believe there are some out there! ^_^ I guess it's the eternal optimist in me. I never said anywhere in my comment that I cared about looks--it's not the physical appearance that I'm having a hard time finding. I want to find a guy who is intellectually curious, confident but humble, is noble man of good character, wants some romance sometimes and has a good sense of humor ... and one who believes in Jesus Christ. I really could care less about a man's looks. I just can't seem to find a guy who wants to talk about anything aside from superficial stuff. I want to talk about philosophy, psychology, the meaning of life, the universe and everything ... not whether or not I watched "Walking Dead" last night. Honestly the depth and intellectual curiosity is the most elusive quality, it seems. I mean, sure: just like everyone else I have physical attraction desires but yeah, not what's keeping me single. A killer personality is so much more attractive.
Well..there are many guys who fit that description. I think more than you would imagine but the majority of the world are not seekers as people like you and I....still they are out there. You just have to be willing to wait for it.
You're definitely right, Max. It's hard not to lose hope, though! ^_^ Cheers and good luck.
Indeed it is hard but I'm optimistic so I just keep putting myself out there. Same to you!
Three questions to determine if your standards for men are too high:
1. Does my standard exist in a real person?
2. Is this a defense mechanism preventing me from being vulnerable?
3. Am I forcing my standard too soon for the other person to raise their behavior to my standards?
My answer is yes.
What if theres no physical attraction on the first date, should one keep seeing the person hoping that something will change in the way you look at the person?
Hmmm my word of advice is, How is their character and persona? Because my dear looks are gonna fade someday and what will last is how the person is on the inside :)
If you are a woman, yes. If he is not half bad, & has characteristics you want in a mate, give him 3 dates. Women bond via physical chemistry. By the third date and hopefully a kiss, you will know if your body is bonding. I dated several men I was not into at first. And by the third date, he kisses me and boom. A shift. Then again, several men it did not happen for. So boom. Never saw them again. ;)
LitMe1 you need to make friends with the person first. Then see what grows
Are you even attractive? Very shallow.. I agree physicall attraction is the first thing one sees when getting to know someone
But I've went on dates with extremely gorgeous women that downright turned me the fuck off and I'm a man the fact I had to turn em now was pathetic
Try your date out and don't make em feel use. Contribute n reciprocate pay for the the tip or offer to pay your own share equally, you rejecting men before then even speak without getting to know them
everything you say is gold. seriously, please keep coming out with videos like these :)
I have standards but I don't mind lowering them. But I also don't wanna give a chance to someone I don't see myself being with.
tone down your hypergamy
Brilliant video - nice and short and straight to the point
No my standards are not too high for a guy, just looking for one who doesn't get queasy when I tell him I'm a morgue assistant😒
Some guys would think that is a turn-on.
I think I can find a group of goth/metalhead guys who would be into that (sorry if a goth or metalhead sees this, it's a bad joke)
thanks to your talks I found a man. thanks to your talks I'm conscious of my relationship. thanks Matt!
I feel I can answer no to all of these questions, but still wonder if I am too picky. I find all kinds of people that are sweet and that I share common interests with but I'm not physically attracted to them. I had very low standards in physical appearance and found myself in a relationship with someone I wasn't really attracted to for years and felt unsatisfied. I've since had relationships with people who I am physically attracted to. Now I'm finding myself turning down loads of people who are not stirring something within me and feeling lonely. Should I lower my standards again and chance feeling dissatisfied in another long term relationship? Is it unreasonable for me to feel dissatisfied with someone because I have never felt butterflies when I looked at them?
Absolutely not, girl! Keep your standards up! This is not your fault that the guys don’t want to improve themselves.
Sometimes we feel butterflies/attraction right away. Sometimes it can happen later on. Some even have friends who know each other for years, then one day suddenly feelings change and an attraction appears. Everyone we meet is different so keep an open mind in getting to know someone and just pay attention to if you are enjoying their company or not first. Like he said in this video, do not think about anything long term/marriage material in the beginning or you’ll ruin it before it begins.
I also would never progress from dating or just getting to know them if the attraction never comes. Just make sure you always communicate clearly if ever you’re not ready to progress/move on to any step you don’t want to.
I love how you always get to the point quickly in your videos ! I also like how articulate you are ! Keep up the good work Matt :)
The more younger very attractive women are gonna be more status seeking than the average to below average looking woman.I find that the more unattractive looking women are usually the less picky women.
Maybe but nowadays everyone is pretty.. from the early age, we tell our kids how awesome they are, and how beautiful.. lots of people love themselves a lot and consider themselves super attractive. I'm not saying that's everyone's case, but a lot of people are like this, look at how many selfies people take, or take snapchat, people are showing temselves off. So they are picky and want to find someone that 'diserve' them.
Men just as much as women...
Belieberssss Well I will say that even if a person considers themselves attractive, there are many people out there that won't be attracted to them and no matter how much we tell our children how beautiful they are, if the other kids at school don't think so, then among their peers, they aren't attractive. When I was in school, I was average but I saw that the good looking guys were the ones that got all the attention and girls and yes the selfies are plentiful on social media quite a bit nowadays and mostly those that take the selfies are very attractive people and get lots of attention. Also they are seeking some validation from others that they are accepted and liked.
I agree with you on the fact that everyone has their own view of what beauty is.
I just don't like to think that there are good looking people, and average looking ones or even worse, bad looking people..
To me, as you said, everyone finds beautiful what they think is beautiful, so the good looking dude can become the ugliest for someone. I think what works is confidence.
People that are "good looking" are just the one that believe their good looking, and they act as if everyone knew it.. I think that's why they attract other people !
Belieberssss Well in my mind growing up and as I got into being an adult, I always thought I was attractive but most girls didn't think that about me, so it was always other guys that got the attention and sometimes it's not just the looks that attract someone. I've seen some ugly to average looking guys that were with very pretty girls and wondered what she saw in the guy, so there are other qualities other than good looks that people find attractive about a person.
That's exaclty what i'm telling you ^^
You're saying "there are more than just looks" true but these "pretty girls" (in your point of view) liked what these "ugly" guys' look (ugly is your point of view again). They had to desire them at least a little, so yeah maybe they fell in love cause of what they were thinking and how they were as people, but these girls had to like what these boys looked like otherwise they couldn't have dated.
Without desire, it's just friendship
But I think we're saying pretty much the same thing :)
LMAO the first part made me laugh about Christian Grey xDDDDDDDDDD
I think my standards are too low... I fall for everyone who's willing to look my way! >,w>,
Not that I've ever dated anyone....
Non ugly.
Faithful
Non poor/non rich.... (bc i'm that too)
Non a jerk
Is it too much to ask??
Um, that's why guys are struggling because they are to ugly or so what women say
Non ugly = good looking guy. Be honnest 😉
Brilliant! As the Brits say. I have a friend in that exact boat. Beautiful, smart and has been online dating for 12 years. Too long in my opinion.
I'm a taken lesbian yet I just have to keep watching these. This guys voice is like caramel.
Interesting, ive read marry him by lori gottlieb and she preaches the complete opposite. She says marry the “nice guy” who’s completely safe who would never reject you 🙃
its not necessarily impossible but many women really believes the guy they want are available, single and is interested about them.
its not like that. many high level dudes are married or just play and have multiple partners.
they don't give a shit and the good guys remains alone because women wont lower their standards.
Someone finally gets me!!! Thank you Matt! ❤️
Ill listen to your video over n over again n its help me to overcome my heartbreak. Thank you for your frank advices
The only thing I dislike, being vulnerable....Yeah I don't do that. Sometimes I think really that's it. I don't let him open the door and I can do my own work, and really I don't feel that I should have to validate his manliness. I can do my own work, guess I am just going to be the one whom is alone.
teenwitchlovergirl teen you need to improve comfidence about your self :)
yasmine rose
Not actually I am fine. I don't need another person. Besides why should I give up half my life just to spend it with someone? I can do everything I need for myself. My confidence is fine thank you. That's not the problem. The problem is this. I have an idea of whom I am and I am not going to go around changing myself just so someone else can feel stronger. If a man can't handle the fact that I can do things on my own, why be with him? I am not looking for a knight anyways. I am fine with whom I am.
good that you're saying that, it means your confidence no matter what someone say or think if what you know that you are in the right way teen.
The 2nd question appeals to me. 😢 I just...am not going to change.