Because of a lot of past trauma, I often find myself not deserving of any happiness. It’s like whenever things start to feel good, my mind keeps telling me that I don’t deserve this and then I go into this downward spiral of not being okay with being okay. I wanna tell my brain to just chill out and stop self sabotaging.
Same situation. Part of my minds keeps saying 'watch out, don't get soft and comfortable, something bad can happen very soon and be ready'. Hence allways trying to get back to neutral state
@@sandro.amirana for more than 20 years I have this kind of mindset and I can't change it. My thought process: when something really good happens to me, I am not celebrating it or being happy about it, but preparing mentally for something really bad to happen, and the worst part is, the bad thing always happens
I feel the same thing too. I always feel like it will start to get ruin after some time and it will not last long just when things get OK. And I feel u just hit right on the spot when u said "not okay when it's okay"
@@armands2007 bad things will - inevitably - happen and that's just a part of life... but the tricky thing is that just because they happen (either the next day or weeks later) we feel like we're justified in not celebrating and being 'ready'. A sane person would probably try to at least partly enjoy those small moments and be aware that this won't last for long either. But yeah, knowing it is different from doing it - we've become so used to this pattern
Some of us are hardwired as little kids to hate ourselves. It takes forever to unlearn that, but it definitely starts with awareness. This video does just that. It is so on point. It made me sad and angry, but it also encouraged me to love myself more. I need to make up for all those lost years.
I love the idea of making up for lost time. As a survivor, I've done plenty of grief and acceptance work. I'm starting to realize how full life is. Thrive on!
It could be as if, without quite realising it, we are operating under some sort of secret law: "thou shalt never be exuberant ... thou shalt worry a lot." How true and yet so sad
My parents have always been extremely toxic to each other... I often find myself being dramatic and forcing myself into situations where I'm unhappy. I think it's just that I'm familiar with being unhappy, that I invite unhappiness into my life no matter how good the other person is.
I remember reading a while ago about how familiarity is what gets people into consistent cycles. If you don't have a range of experiences to draw from, you'll anchor yourself to the most familiar. From your experience, you've had to sacrifice your own joy and happiness to make situations comfortable. With that logic, to make situations comfortable, you need to sacrifice your own joy and happiness. Habits are hard to break, despite how illogical they are. Other people can say 'but you can just be happy and that can make situations comfortable, too'- this has to be a new habit to create. Not all hot plates are hot to the touch, but from memory, being burned several times is enough to struggle with reaching out and touching one that is turned off.
The environment we grew up with was the 20th and 21st century not just our immediate family and friends. It's the whole society that's screwing with our mental health.
This video touches on such a deep truth-how we often become our own biggest obstacle to happiness. It conveys a fair crossing between the Stoic practice of examining our judgments and the Taoist wisdom of accepting flow. Often, our resistance to joy stems from learned fears, but recognizing these patterns is the first step toward freeing ourselves. How do you remind yourself that it’s okay to embrace happiness without guilt?
Spot on, as usual. I no longer question the author's authenticity as the narrative reaches deeply. Thank you. And if you ever wonder where your sadness lays, it is within your own beautiful mind. Question your internal 'less than' beliefs. Thank you, School of Life.😍
Things like that really made me so fearful of people and Id mainly only be happy in isolation but at some times when my happy mood is broken Id just feel so lost and lonely. Identifying what has happened growing up truly was a turning point and I can only hope others realize this too and stop feeling guilt or shame for things that werent our fault.
happy in childhood often sounds noisy, loud. good boys dont act like that, they quietly study in their room.. 32 yo 'good boy' still waits for approval for not being too much to.. himself now
I'm a woman and also 32 y.o. but I can relate. I still don't feel good enough for society and my parents even though logically I know that my own parents themselves don't come anywhere close to living up to the expectations they had for me. But I still keep telling myself I have to do better. Even though my parents now think I'm taking everything too seriously about what they once taught me as a child growing up.
Start creating your own inner voice. Make your own rules. Some lessons our parents taught us are good, but you have to teach yourself to filter out the bad ones you don't need anymore. Ask yourself more questions when making decisions in your life. Speak out loud to yourself if you have to, whenever you're alone. Listen to, and trust, what people close to you are saying right now, they have a different perspective of you compared to your inner voice.
I long for the life we had 30 - 40 years ago. We had less, expected less, owned less, travelled less, and yet seemed happier. I'm probably looking at life through rose tinted glasses but I don't think so. We are told from school age that anyone can achieve anything but that's a lie which leads to the feeling of lasting failure, which has become endemic in society.
I feel bad but then I try to remember we all made didn’t choices with our lives and mine has resulted in being able to smile everyday of mine... quietly, I try to stay, invisible is possibly. but I walk outside and people may say I have a kind face, even that can be intimidating, unfortunately. Some people have just been so beat up by life. Even a smile can seem like a fighting face.
Growing up as a gay man this is 100% me. If you smile too much you are attacked. If you as over excited you are mocked. If you want to open yourself to someone that is a "friend" could be throwing a bomb that will change you life. A simple conversation at dinner, might be an event of enduring torture while faking everything is fine. I can't believe I'm a functional human being.
This really touched a nerve for me. Thanks for the video. It's nice to get a message of "you are worthy", even if it's from a stranger on the internet.
Why do I get the feeling that when you’re in a good mood or try to be positive other people try to bring you down for no reason. This happens to me a lot.
I highly recommend to everyone the book: Your Life Your Game by keezano📕📚 I read it and it changed my life,I became a much happier person...also it shows how connecting with God and your inner self can lead to spiritual growth and success. A must read for all people🙏
As Eckart Tolle and Rupert Spira both lecture on … “ the Ego is an addiction to unhappiness” …do not expect lasting happiness when you are operating from only ego and unaware or “ignorant” as to you true spiritual essence. ❤
After many years of teaching at various schools, I finally land a coveted position at a prestigious school. I feel all the pressure to perform. I was so busy trying to teach without a curriculum or guidance of any kind as I’m also figuring out this new place. I find myself completely neglected by everyone who seemed so thrilled to have me onboard and pretty much ignored by the colleagues. The first of several formal observations came on fast. After three weeks of nonstop, no weekends, I come in completely unprepared. I had never before come into a preobservation conference unprepared. Here I am blowing it completely. The division head basically suggests that we reschedule. That sealed my fate. The following four observations got low scores, even though I thought the lessons went well. And was asked not to return next year. There was little to none positivity about my teaching, while my interview demo lesson dazzled everyone. At the end it wasn’t a good fit. I was invisible to my colleagues and my bosses. Only to be criticized for little inconsequential easily fixed things. I disliked the windowless classroom, the frenetic flurry of after school activities that all teachers were expected to partake in. And a long city stop and go commute. At the end, I didn’t want to be there. But it still stings. Self sabotage?? Because if I were asked back, I would have had a hard time leaving the prestige and the money, even though I wasn’t self actualizing as a teacher there.
When you’ve suffered from major depression for your whole life. The feeling of happiness, the thought of being ok and mentally healthy feels completely fake. Alongside the feelings of “I don’t deserve to be happy and I don’t deserve to be ok.” It’s more comfortable to live in your own bubble of misery. Rather than let yourself actually feel the pain. Oddly enough the sorrow inside feels like a cocoon that you use as a barrier to protect Yourself from the world’s healthier mindset.
Thank you:) Unfortunately, I know this very well. It often comes in terms of trying to win a situation which very likely cannot be won. The already expected rejection feels sad, but also kind of satisfying, in order to find confirmation that being off alone is still the preferable option. In psychotherapy I try to disentangle these patterns. It takes a lot of patience.
When my daughters were toddlers, I found myself in a good mood for a day or two, and then chaos rang once again. It was a nasty cycle. It was nothing extreme, but it would be as if nothing could run smoothly for more than a day. Just this week, I had that same sensation. I was perfectly fine on Monday, but Tuesday was horrid. Today, we'll see, I suppose. Christmas is a hard time of the year for me. Which is unfortunate because I prefer the cold to the heat. My alcoholic mother was particularly absent during this time. She never got me what I wanted for Xmas. It was always about her. Memories I have of her drunk in the rocking chair by the Christmas tree in the living room speaking nonsense, as we all pretended it was normal. 🙃It brings back a lot of hard feelings to process. 💔
Unfortunately, this explains my parents to a T, which also explains why when my father died, I was consumed by fear, and when my mother died, I felt a sense of relief.
The kind of horrors some of us have been through at the hands of our primary caregivers make me furious. I hope you find all the reasons to be happy in your life. :)
Because it gives a sense of control and the outcome is predictable (misery). Heard that somewhere - maybe even this channel - and made sense for me, at least.
Sometimes we learn to do that as children to keep ourself safe. I know I did it a lot when I was a child for many reasons but basically I wanted to avoid feelings of rejection. Sometimes people hate your joy because they don’t have any.
it is possible to become happy under the worst circumstances, lasting happiness means its still there during adversity, but developing that understanding of trust in good as bad and developing that understanding of lack of expectations and ones own maximum demand can take years, or lifetimes
Because unless you work to become self aware and catch yourself from doubting your worthiness to accept happiness you will end up repeating the same old cycle of not feeling worthy enough for happiness.
“There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment” -Arthur Schopenhauer
Nah, life just generally hates me. I've always made efforts to improve my situation and they never work out. I really thought this year was going to be my year and then my dog died out of the blue. He was my everything and my life is tainted for good. Nothing will make me happy again.
Constantly tossed around as a child because no one wanted me so I was tossed from one family mender to another all the while being don't I was the "black sheep", "no one wanted or loved me", so I guess with this being drilled into my young mind I grew up feeling incredibly unloved, unwanted and undeserving of anything good, happy or rewarding. Yes I am fully aware of sabotaging myself but not knowing how to fix me.
Scandinavian are more happier than rest of the world ❤❤ They spend more time and money on children And Merry Christmas to all abused and traumatized souls of this channel
Doing things contrary to one's own values, possibly during a certain "occasion" may be a helpful start to recognizing the whimsy which could be acknowledged when mistakes are made... Take for example take a thought which is insulting or self-deprecating and rather than trying to correct the responses you may receive for communicating in such a way. Ask if any misunderstandings are actually detrimental, humorous, harmless, and/or insightful. This is what realizing the possible comedy of errors in what may otherwise seem tragic. Still, I have made some horrifying statements as of late... don't know quite where to go from here considering I've left people who I love deeply feeling slighted or judged and I'm not sure how to correct this. I really want to put the focus back on the fact that I cherish the moments we spend together, but I know that this is also an internalized perspective which keeps me from more free expression of my feelings toward them and others.
It's been more than a week since your last community Post Please keep writing those as my anxious mind is on the edge 😢😢 I kinda getting addicted to your post 😑😑
Because it makes them feel like they’re in control and for lots of people that’s more compelling and satisfying than just rote happiness. Next question.
We humans tend to want to make sense out of chaos. But the chaos isn't even dented by our desire for order. We humans tend to want to hold on to things when transience is the fundamental state of the universe. We humans are often trapped by our own greed, chained in place by our own egos. Buddhists would tell us that this attachment is the root of all suffering but we're too distracted by material things to pay much attention to that.
The really shitty part of all this, is that the kind of people who steal your joy are never able to use it for themselves anyway. They just run around making everyone else’s lives worse, including their own.
Maybe we can mentally condition ourselves to not care about "getting into trouble" for being happy by deliberately exposing ourselves on a dare like they do on the TV show Jackass, and just not taking people's reactions seriously, feel the social rejection and judgment but just hold tight in the faith that our brains are changing and growing subconsciously in the background to be naturally more resilient to it the next time it happens, the exposure is doing all the work, we only have to step over the line, eat the chilli, smack the hornets nest and biology does the rest.
Heck, I won't even admit to things being more than OK at this precise moment because I'm positive I'm going to bring calamity on myself. This is also why the Eagles lose big games. It's my fault. I messed up the mojo by believing they might win.
Bro it's honestly so hard to better yourself while still being in childhood,an adolescent.. Im Not an adult and lack numerous resources aside from still being in the same environment. I'm changing,I've changed but I doubt if it will be recognized or appreciated, perhaps they'll never catch up..
Literally everyone has trauma. Some of us are in denial of traumas that dont "seem" like they're traumatic enough and we feel like we're being dramatic, so we ignore it
Just try to be mindful. Create a habit, of looking at your habits or thought patterns. Our mind can be lazy, and when we get certain feelings and ideas, it usually goes for the first main thought pattern about it. Like - "I'm feeling kinda low? Oh, that means I did something bad! I need to recheck all the things, and worry." While, it could be you have low sugar, or feel fatigued at certain time of the day cuz it's winter. So, putting extra effort to at least try imagine second reason, or third, why you want something, or feel something, could be a way to check why you struggle with some things. Jump over the obvious. But it doesn't mean everything has deep meaning.
this is a good video, compared to what you find on youtube, but it has to me said that the quality of the channel has diminished overtime, some years ago, there were videos about philophers, artist and many complex ideas were exposed, and now , I'm sad to say, this resembles more and more the kind of empty self help talk that you guys were so against. I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who misses the rigour and quality of former videos. I know it is hard to keep quality for so many years, but it is nice to keep in mind what this chanel was
People still touch the stove even when you tell them it's hot because they want to know all there is to know about it to maximise the utility of their understanding of the world around them. You have to burn to be content.
If people start talking about how the timing for these videos is impeccable, I'm seriously starting to doubt the general happiness of the masses.
much worse than we all tell eachother.
Still starting to doubt? I'm dead sure 💀
Happiness is an abstract concept not based in reality like "Fairness" "Equality" and "Right".
Doubt? Hold my tea.
You are right! 👍
Because of a lot of past trauma, I often find myself not deserving of any happiness. It’s like whenever things start to feel good, my mind keeps telling me that I don’t deserve this and then I go into this downward spiral of not being okay with being okay. I wanna tell my brain to just chill out and stop self sabotaging.
I hope you feel okay eventually. You deserve wonderful things and happiness.
Same situation. Part of my minds keeps saying 'watch out, don't get soft and comfortable, something bad can happen very soon and be ready'. Hence allways trying to get back to neutral state
@@sandro.amirana for more than 20 years I have this kind of mindset and I can't change it. My thought process: when something really good happens to me, I am not celebrating it or being happy about it, but preparing mentally for something really bad to happen, and the worst part is, the bad thing always happens
I feel the same thing too. I always feel like it will start to get ruin after some time and it will not last long just when things get OK. And I feel u just hit right on the spot when u said "not okay when it's okay"
@@armands2007 bad things will - inevitably - happen and that's just a part of life... but the tricky thing is that just because they happen (either the next day or weeks later) we feel like we're justified in not celebrating and being 'ready'. A sane person would probably try to at least partly enjoy those small moments and be aware that this won't last for long either.
But yeah, knowing it is different from doing it - we've become so used to this pattern
Some of us are hardwired as little kids to hate ourselves. It takes forever to unlearn that, but it definitely starts with awareness. This video does just that. It is so on point. It made me sad and angry, but it also encouraged me to love myself more. I need to make up for all those lost years.
I love the idea of making up for lost time. As a survivor, I've done plenty of grief and acceptance work. I'm starting to realize how full life is. Thrive on!
It could be as if, without quite realising it, we are operating under some sort of secret law: "thou shalt never be exuberant ... thou shalt worry a lot." How true and yet so sad
For those people, being okay means not being prepared for troubles, and thus being vulnerable.
Yes 😔
woah.
Disagree
Truee
I am learning how to do this. ❤
My parents have always been extremely toxic to each other... I often find myself being dramatic and forcing myself into situations where I'm unhappy. I think it's just that I'm familiar with being unhappy, that I invite unhappiness into my life no matter how good the other person is.
I remember reading a while ago about how familiarity is what gets people into consistent cycles.
If you don't have a range of experiences to draw from, you'll anchor yourself to the most familiar. From your experience, you've had to sacrifice your own joy and happiness to make situations comfortable.
With that logic, to make situations comfortable, you need to sacrifice your own joy and happiness.
Habits are hard to break, despite how illogical they are. Other people can say 'but you can just be happy and that can make situations comfortable, too'- this has to be a new habit to create. Not all hot plates are hot to the touch, but from memory, being burned several times is enough to struggle with reaching out and touching one that is turned off.
Amen, dear brother. I am so grateful for you and your work. Indeed thank you.
I'm sometimes afraid to be happy as if it was to spoil it or end in a disaster, because I was too happy too early on.
The environment we grew up with was the 20th and 21st century not just our immediate family and friends. It's the whole society that's screwing with our mental health.
Todays society is sick.
It's all interconnected
This video touches on such a deep truth-how we often become our own biggest obstacle to happiness. It conveys a fair crossing between the Stoic practice of examining our judgments and the Taoist wisdom of accepting flow. Often, our resistance to joy stems from learned fears, but recognizing these patterns is the first step toward freeing ourselves.
How do you remind yourself that it’s okay to embrace happiness without guilt?
"Allowed" is a Key word there for me. I am always expecting people to give me the permission I never give myself.
Spot on, as usual. I no longer question the author's authenticity as the narrative reaches deeply. Thank you. And if you ever wonder where your sadness lays, it is within your own beautiful mind. Question your internal 'less than' beliefs. Thank you, School of Life.😍
Things like that really made me so fearful of people and Id mainly only be happy in isolation but at some times when my happy mood is broken Id just feel so lost and lonely. Identifying what has happened growing up truly was a turning point and I can only hope others realize this too and stop feeling guilt or shame for things that werent our fault.
More and more people in modern society become unable to have relationships. It's an epidemic.
happy in childhood often sounds noisy, loud. good boys dont act like that, they quietly study in their room.. 32 yo 'good boy' still waits for approval for not being too much to.. himself now
I'm a woman and also 32 y.o. but I can relate. I still don't feel good enough for society and my parents even though logically I know that my own parents themselves don't come anywhere close to living up to the expectations they had for me. But I still keep telling myself I have to do better. Even though my parents now think I'm taking everything too seriously about what they once taught me as a child growing up.
Start creating your own inner voice. Make your own rules. Some lessons our parents taught us are good, but you have to teach yourself to filter out the bad ones you don't need anymore. Ask yourself more questions when making decisions in your life. Speak out loud to yourself if you have to, whenever you're alone. Listen to, and trust, what people close to you are saying right now, they have a different perspective of you compared to your inner voice.
Being happy and satisfied at a time when so many are unhappy and dissatisfied may be seen as insensitive, smug and crass.
Thank you for these videos. Every single one brings me closer to forgiving myself for simply existing, and make me stronger
I long for the life we had 30 - 40 years ago. We had less, expected less, owned less, travelled less, and yet seemed happier. I'm probably looking at life through rose tinted glasses but I don't think so. We are told from school age that anyone can achieve anything but that's a lie which leads to the feeling of lasting failure, which has become endemic in society.
In a way we are looking back with rose tinted glasses, BUT, life was less hectic and simple; that's no illusion.
@@fromnewusa Yes, I agree and may be that's it....simplicity is the key 😁
Life was no different back then. Your memory is faulty.
@@AZsunflower No you are wrong. Life was very different. See above replies.
You're looking at the past through a heavy filter of nostalgia.
I feel bad but then I try to remember we all made didn’t choices with our lives and mine has resulted in being able to smile everyday of mine... quietly, I try to stay, invisible is possibly. but I walk outside and people may say I have a kind face, even that can be intimidating, unfortunately. Some people have just been so beat up by life. Even a smile can seem like a fighting face.
Not only that, the message is always spot on
I just realized I'm terrified of others being envious of me.
Growing up as a gay man this is 100% me. If you smile too much you are attacked. If you as over excited you are mocked. If you want to open yourself to someone that is a "friend" could be throwing a bomb that will change you life. A simple conversation at dinner, might be an event of enduring torture while faking everything is fine. I can't believe I'm a functional human being.
This really touched a nerve for me. Thanks for the video. It's nice to get a message of "you are worthy", even if it's from a stranger on the internet.
Why do I get the feeling that when you’re in a good mood or try to be positive other people try to bring you down for no reason. This happens to me a lot.
That's the way of the world. Happiness hinges on circumstances. Do not allow trivial people or things to vex you.😊
THE TIMING IS CRAZY
I highly recommend to everyone the book: Your Life Your Game by keezano📕📚 I read it and it changed my life,I became a much happier person...also it shows how connecting with God and your inner self can lead to spiritual growth and success. A must read for all people🙏
Tnx, l bought it
God bless🫶🏽💟
As Eckart Tolle and Rupert Spira both lecture on … “ the Ego is an addiction to unhappiness” …do not expect lasting happiness when you are operating from only ego and unaware or “ignorant” as to you true spiritual essence. ❤
After many years of teaching at various schools, I finally land a coveted position at a prestigious school. I feel all the pressure to perform. I was so busy trying to teach without a curriculum or guidance of any kind as I’m also figuring out this new place. I find myself completely neglected by everyone who seemed so thrilled to have me onboard and pretty much ignored by the colleagues. The first of several formal observations came on fast. After three weeks of nonstop, no weekends, I come in completely unprepared. I had never before come into a preobservation conference unprepared.
Here I am blowing it completely. The division head basically suggests that we reschedule. That sealed my fate. The following four observations got low scores, even though I thought the lessons went well. And was asked not to return next year. There was little to none positivity about my teaching, while my interview demo lesson dazzled everyone. At the end it wasn’t a good fit. I was invisible to my colleagues and my bosses. Only to be criticized for little inconsequential easily fixed things. I disliked the windowless classroom, the frenetic flurry of after school activities that all teachers were expected to partake in. And a long city stop and go commute. At the end, I didn’t want to be there. But it still stings. Self sabotage?? Because if I were asked back, I would have had a hard time leaving the prestige and the money, even though I wasn’t self actualizing as a teacher there.
When you’ve suffered from major depression for your whole life. The feeling of happiness, the thought of being ok and mentally healthy feels completely fake. Alongside the feelings of “I don’t deserve to be happy and I don’t deserve to be ok.” It’s more comfortable to live in your own bubble of misery. Rather than let yourself actually feel the pain. Oddly enough the sorrow inside feels like a cocoon that you use as a barrier to protect Yourself from the world’s healthier mindset.
Thank you:) Unfortunately, I know this very well. It often comes in terms of trying to win a situation which very likely cannot be won. The already expected rejection feels sad, but also kind of satisfying, in order to find confirmation that being off alone is still the preferable option. In psychotherapy I try to disentangle these patterns. It takes a lot of patience.
some people cant see u happy because .... they are not happy inside
When my daughters were toddlers, I found myself in a good mood for a day or two, and then chaos rang once again. It was a nasty cycle. It was nothing extreme, but it would be as if nothing could run smoothly for more than a day.
Just this week, I had that same sensation. I was perfectly fine on Monday, but Tuesday was horrid. Today, we'll see, I suppose.
Christmas is a hard time of the year for me. Which is unfortunate because I prefer the cold to the heat. My alcoholic mother was particularly absent during this time. She never got me what I wanted for Xmas. It was always about her. Memories I have of her drunk in the rocking chair by the Christmas tree in the living room speaking nonsense, as we all pretended it was normal. 🙃It brings back a lot of hard feelings to process. 💔
i believe I needed this - thank you
Thank you for all of your fantastic videos
Unfortunately, this explains my parents to a T, which also explains why when my father died, I was consumed by fear, and when my mother died, I felt a sense of relief.
The kind of horrors some of us have been through at the hands of our primary caregivers make me furious. I hope you find all the reasons to be happy in your life. :)
@urvashisangwan8858 🙏
Our caregivers didn't like seeing us happy on our own accord, only because of them.
Getting drunk fixes this for me but adds new problems , also the crash down after you get sober is worse.
I used to be like this, but now im a lightweight pff.....
My sisters hidden behaviour in my childhood years rings a bell and it revealed itself in adulthood years openly.
Why do we self-sabotage?
Because it gives a sense of control and the outcome is predictable (misery). Heard that somewhere - maybe even this channel - and made sense for me, at least.
Sometimes we learn to do that as children to keep ourself safe. I know I did it a lot when I was a child for many reasons but basically I wanted to avoid feelings of rejection. Sometimes people hate your joy because they don’t have any.
@@fAvoRiTexcandy Thank you so much 😍. And what do you think? ruclips.net/user/shorts3Fe9hLUixJc?si=cRU09EOdavo-4NUr
Also self-hate is part of the problem
Such a positive message! 💖Indeed thank you!
I guess sometimes when I feel happy I think that something bad lurks around the corner so I don’t really enjoy my happiness
the content of this video and its question is as far away from figuring out the question as it can get
it is possible to become happy under the worst circumstances, lasting happiness means its still there during adversity, but developing that understanding of trust in good as bad and developing that understanding of lack of expectations and ones own maximum demand can take years, or lifetimes
Its not only our parents. A lot of people dont like seeing other people being happy deep down.
Because unless you work to become self aware and catch yourself from doubting your worthiness to accept happiness you will end up repeating the same old cycle of not feeling worthy enough for happiness.
i don't need to sabotage my happiness, life already does that for me
Sadness is important it brings emotional impulsive love and understanding
The fear of success is a real thing !!!!
“There is only one inborn error, and that is the notion that we exist in order to be happy... So long as we persist in this inborn error... the world seems to us full of contradictions. For at every step, in things great and small, we are bound to experience that the world and life are certainly not arranged for the purpose of maintaining a happy existence... hence the countenances of almost all elderly persons wear the expression of what is called disappointment”
-Arthur Schopenhauer
Some of us are Dysthymic/Anhedonic without any social edicts at all.
Money makes me happy. I don't have money. Money sabotages my happiness.
I needed this so much.
Nah, life just generally hates me. I've always made efforts to improve my situation and they never work out. I really thought this year was going to be my year and then my dog died out of the blue. He was my everything and my life is tainted for good. Nothing will make me happy again.
Such a good topic and such real content! It goes directly to my experience!
ALL of my "problems" exist in my mind. They exist in the past and the future. For that reason, I try my best to live in the Now.
Constantly tossed around as a child because no one wanted me so I was tossed from one family mender to another all the while being don't I was the "black sheep", "no one wanted or loved me", so I guess with this being drilled into my young mind I grew up feeling incredibly unloved, unwanted and undeserving of anything good, happy or rewarding. Yes I am fully aware of sabotaging myself but not knowing how to fix me.
i've been in a good environment my whole life and i still feel like shit
Gratitude=happiness
Scandinavian are more happier than rest of the world ❤❤
They spend more time and money on children
And Merry Christmas to all abused and traumatized souls of this channel
Merry Christmas
Doing things contrary to one's own values, possibly during a certain "occasion" may be a helpful start to recognizing the whimsy which could be acknowledged when mistakes are made... Take for example take a thought which is insulting or self-deprecating and rather than trying to correct the responses you may receive for communicating in such a way. Ask if any misunderstandings are actually detrimental, humorous, harmless, and/or insightful. This is what realizing the possible comedy of errors in what may otherwise seem tragic.
Still, I have made some horrifying statements as of late... don't know quite where to go from here considering I've left people who I love deeply feeling slighted or judged and I'm not sure how to correct this. I really want to put the focus back on the fact that I cherish the moments we spend together, but I know that this is also an internalized perspective which keeps me from more free expression of my feelings toward them and others.
It's been more than a week since your last community Post
Please keep writing those as my anxious mind is on the edge 😢😢
I kinda getting addicted to your post 😑😑
Thank you.
Because it makes them feel like they’re in control and for lots of people that’s more compelling and satisfying than just rote happiness. Next question.
There are no words!😭😮💨
Yes! This happened to me yesterday, almost blew it.
Is it against the law❓then blame your environment❓if people envy you because you stay out of trouble❓ask yourself if it was worth the effort❓
Thank you for the video
Thank You!❤
We can't question why people are dissatisfied in this world just as we can't ask why people are unwell in a hospital.This world is as such.
There is a solution…
@aboolaylaa1984 Yes, life will heal us🙂
thank you☺️
Thank you.❤
beautiful.
1:35 The UK
I hear that a lot from Brits. What a shame for such a great country to destroy itself from within.
@@fare1181 its true. It was only after i spent a year in Sydney that noticed how bad is here when i came back.
1:43 I grew up with a father with depression so...
Does anyone know how to stop the audio track in these videos from automatically going to the AI generated one?
This channel makes my english feel stupid hahaha
jokes aside i aspire to learn and express my thoughts more effectively , good job school of life❤
Sometimes, you think too much, School of Life :) Or, I think, I watch you too much :D Anyway, here's a hug :)
We humans tend to want to make sense out of chaos. But the chaos isn't even dented by our desire for order. We humans tend to want to hold on to things when transience is the fundamental state of the universe. We humans are often trapped by our own greed, chained in place by our own egos. Buddhists would tell us that this attachment is the root of all suffering but we're too distracted by material things to pay much attention to that.
The really shitty part of all this, is that the kind of people who steal your joy are never able to use it for themselves anyway. They just run around making everyone else’s lives worse, including their own.
Maybe we can mentally condition ourselves to not care about "getting into trouble" for being happy by deliberately exposing ourselves on a dare like they do on the TV show Jackass, and just not taking people's reactions seriously, feel the social rejection and judgment but just hold tight in the faith that our brains are changing and growing subconsciously in the background to be naturally more resilient to it the next time it happens, the exposure is doing all the work, we only have to step over the line, eat the chilli, smack the hornets nest and biology does the rest.
This has been my behaviour for quite some time.
Since I saw the narrator on a podcast, these videos feel different now.
Just go past the fear and laugh like gilded butterflies 🪻🦋
Heck, I won't even admit to things being more than OK at this precise moment because I'm positive I'm going to bring calamity on myself. This is also why the Eagles lose big games. It's my fault. I messed up the mojo by believing they might win.
Well I'll be damned. This fits me like a slipper.
It seems that we are all doing the same shit so nothing to worry about
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Bro it's honestly so hard to better yourself while still being in childhood,an adolescent..
Im Not an adult and lack numerous resources aside from still being in the same environment. I'm changing,I've changed but I doubt if it will be recognized or appreciated, perhaps they'll never catch up..
Childhood trauma is the reason for self sabotage.
Just thinking about this 10 seconds ago
i struggle with this but i dont have trauma. any ideas anyone?
There is no way you dont have any trauma in this day and age
Literally everyone has trauma. Some of us are in denial of traumas that dont "seem" like they're traumatic enough and we feel like we're being dramatic, so we ignore it
Just try to be mindful. Create a habit, of looking at your habits or thought patterns. Our mind can be lazy, and when we get certain feelings and ideas, it usually goes for the first main thought pattern about it. Like - "I'm feeling kinda low? Oh, that means I did something bad! I need to recheck all the things, and worry." While, it could be you have low sugar, or feel fatigued at certain time of the day cuz it's winter.
So, putting extra effort to at least try imagine second reason, or third, why you want something, or feel something, could be a way to check why you struggle with some things. Jump over the obvious. But it doesn't mean everything has deep meaning.
Maybe you don't remember it?
this is a good video, compared to what you find on youtube, but it has to me said that the quality of the channel has diminished overtime, some years ago, there were videos about philophers, artist and many complex ideas were exposed, and now , I'm sad to say, this resembles more and more the kind of empty self help talk that you guys were so against. I'm sure I'm not the only viewer who misses the rigour and quality of former videos. I know it is hard to keep quality for so many years, but it is nice to keep in mind what this chanel was
People still touch the stove even when you tell them it's hot because they want to know all there is to know about it to maximise the utility of their understanding of the world around them. You have to burn to be content.
Or maybe we just get what we deserve? Not everything has to be a result of some secret childhood trauma.
You guys must read minds because why are they always on time?
1st
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Hours? You guys get _hours_ of happiness???
I guess I’m just normal because this video makes zero sense to me.
389th
=)
👍🙏
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please STOP the AI dubbing it’s unbearable !
Is it even sabotage when it never brought happiness?
Really tried to sound smart eh? But this makes no sense in the context of the video. But better luck next time farming your thumbs up