The Long Goodbye- Alzheimer's Society (Extended Cut)
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- Опубликовано: 20 мар 2024
- At Alzheimer’s Society, we’ll be there for you again, and again, and again.
One in three of us born in the UK today will develop dementia in our lifetime. It’s the biggest health and social care challenge we face.
At Alzheimer’s Society, our vision is a world where dementia no longer devastates lives. But we know awareness of dementia amongst the general public is low. This means that it’s not the priority it deserves or needs to be.
Through emotive storytelling grounded in real-life experiences, we need to help the public understand that dementia is everywhere and show them the devastation it causes. Importantly, we need to position ourselves as the visionary leaders who are turning the tide on dementia.
This campaign centres around the idea or ‘anticipatory’ grief, often known as ‘The Long Goodbye’, that is so often associated with dementia. This reflects the heartbreaking way in which dementia can bring grief again and again to those affected.
Interwoven throughout this advert are flashes of an Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Adviser, supporting the family throughout their journey. This is a representation of our warmth, our strength, our compassion, and our commitment to every part of the struggle.
Because at Alzheimer’s Society, we’ll be there for you again and again and again - supporting people at every step of their journey with dementia, relentlessly calling for change to make dementia the priority it should be, and investing in science to push the pace of breakthroughs.
Interested in getting the latest updates from the Society?
Follow us on Twitter -- / alzheimerssoc
Like us on Facebook - / alzheimerssocietyuk
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Who are we?
We are Alzheimer’s Society. We are a vital source of support and a powerful force for change for everyone affected by dementia.
What is dementia?
‘Dementia’ describes a group of symptoms that include problems with memory, thinking or language, and changes in mood, emotions, perception and behaviour. Dementia is a progressive disease, which means symptoms may be relatively mild at first, but they get worse over time. There are many types of dementia but Alzheimer’s disease is the most common. The next most common is vascular dementia.
If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling our Dementia Connect support line on 0333 150 3456 or visit us at www.alzheimers.org.uk/
Alzheimer's Society
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I am so very pleased there are people who hate this campaign. You are the lucky ones; the ones with loved ones fading gently into that good night; the ones bravely facing each day with some self awareness and carving out a decent existence against all odds. I salute you and your experiences. I wish you all the best.
But that was not my poor old Mum's experience. She had no self-awareness, only fear and anger and an endless trail of betrayals by her own brain. I gave up 8 years of my life to keep her as safe as possible from dementia... from a world that doesn't understand... from a health system incapable of dealing with it... and from herself. And for most of those 8 years I felt completely and absolutely invisible. I felt my Mum's journey was invisible. And I was furious about the whole "living well with dementia" story which can only be told by the lucky ones... those whose dementia allowed them some dignity.
Dementia stole my Mum's dignity very, very early... and then took anything else it could find. Until there was absolutely nothing left. Nothing but a living, Mum-shaped shadow. It was cruel. It was merciless. It destroyed both our lives, but I was lucky. I made the conscious choice... the willing choice to have my life, as I knew it, destroyed. But Mum? She had no choices, because dementia didn't give her any. She'd get up every morning, a little more lost, a little more lonely, a little less human. It broke my heart in new ways every day. And now, as I volunteer at dementia groups and care homes, my heart breaks again for the constant stream of new people through the doors... the newly lost, the newly lonely, the newly bewildered.
This advert makes me feel seen. It makes my Mum seen. Makes those quiet thousands... hundreds of thousands, seen. And I hope it makes the battle against dementia even more seen and even more scary... because human beings are easily distracted and politicians can't see further than the next election. We find new and ever more exciting ways to extend life and rescue people from all manner of life-threatening conditions... only for the ageing society that's creating to run headlong into a culturally crippling wall of dementia. The time for going gently into this good night is over.
So many of your points resonate with me too. My mum is still alive, in a nursing home, but it is no life, she is not living well mostly. There is the odd glimmer, and smile and a bit of laughter. But she is tormented by hallucinations, all day on an off, everyday. She refuses personal care, has leg ulcers that flare up, then if she allows them to be cleaned and dressed, they retreat temporarily, only to slowly come back. It’s hideous to watch and I can’t let myself go down the dark rabbit hole of thoughts about it. I too see the phrase Living Well with dementia, and I can’t relate one little bit…..it is a hard hitting clip, but for me it sums up the losses you face whilst saying the long goodbye.
Sorry for your loss x
I am so sorry for what dementia did to your mum 💔 Thank you for sharing. It is good to know that this makes you feel seen. Your points are all so valid.
I think most people’s objections to the ad are to do with the framing of dementia sufferers as already ‘dead’. In the current climate of increasingly ableist politics, it’s a dangerous way to communicate the experience of ongoing grief that comes with the illness.
I think objections are less about promoting ‘living well with dementia’ and more about the dangers of dehumanising this patient group while they and their carers are really suffering.
Such an elegant response, I can definitely relate to what you’ve said in so many ways with my own grandmother who is currently suffering with it. Dementia is the most horrible way to die 💔
Hugs to you. I lost my husband two years ago from LBD. It robbed him of his agency early on, as it sounds like happened with your Mum. I hear the term “ambiguous grief” being used for the loss we feel as we see pieces of our loved ones falling away. There is nothing ambiguous about it. It is grief, and it is as real and as hard as anyone’s grief, even as we provide care for the person we are grieving.
This really resonated with me. The mum I know has gone and in her place is a mum shaped person who bears no resemblance to the quiet, gentle person I knew. Instead she is a screaming, foul mouthed, aggressive, scared, angry human being who doesn’t recognise me most days. I’m grieving for the mum I’ve lost.
We are sad to hear this, Andrea. Please know we are here for you both should you need us. Our Dementia Support Team can be reached on 0333 150 3456. Sending our love and support. 💙
My grandmother is the same. She was once the most caring, kind, happiest woman & now she screams, swears, lashes out at anyone trying to help her. She doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her. It is the cruelest disease. I’m so sorry you’re going through the same with your mother.
My beloved mum died a few months ago after living for 16 years with dementia. I think this advert is dehumanising and unhelpful. There is no other group of people who would be described in this way - it encourages a view of those with dementia as ‘not people’ . We are more than our memories, my mother retained her core self throughout her 16 years of dementia. Our challenge as individuals and society is finding ways to connect and reach our loved ones with dementia, to stay with them and care for them with love and compassion .
This commercial was brought to my attention on a caregiver’s support platform where we encourage each other to LIVE LIFE to its fullest with your Dementia Loved One. And we give them tools to help them in this difficult season of life.
Many were saying how they hated this commercial. They try to get it turned off before their loved ones see it because if not, they sit there and weep.
At the very least- please put a black box warning to give caregivers time to turn the channel. Our loved ones don’t need to have more depression than they do.
It would be like a commercial about cancer or heart disease and saying you are dying again and again and again.
Our goal is to give them joy again and again and again.
Please rethink how you can represent Dementia and how there are still moments of laughter and fun.
Even training or educational videos should leave you filled with hope. Not hopelessness.
Blessings on this complicated and joyous journey as you walk them Home with dignity.
🙏🏻💗
My mum had dementia and died last week. It’s so true that you have this horrible experience of grieving someone who’s still alive. This video reminded me so much of our experience and brought me to tears. Thank you for beautifully shedding light on the reality.
An incredibly powerful & moving advert that brought tears to my eyes. My grandmother has Dementia (Alzheimer’s) and she has died many times over already since she was diagnosed in 2021.
A once proudly independent woman, she has now been robbed of her independence by this, the cruelest disease known to mankind. She is unaware of why she feels the way she does; she lives in a state of worsening memory loss that causes significant pain & suffering not just to herself, but to everyone who around her who is trying to help her to live out her days as comfortably as possible.
This once happy, bubbly woman is now a wreck of paranoid delusions; lives in fear & loneliness, can’t relate to the world or converse with anyone enough to hold a conversation anymore. The disease has caused her to become incontinent because her brain has forgotten to tell her body when she needs to go to the toilet. She does not remember that her husband, my grandfather, died 3 years ago & believes he ran off with another woman.
Does this sound like ‘living well with dementia’ to you? My grandmother is only middle stage; she could be forced to suffer like this for another 10 years, until her brain ‘forgets’ how to swallow?
To those who think this advert is ‘disgusting’ truly understand the horrors of this disease, or are they putting their head in the sand because it is too much to bear?
Just seen this in TV and it moved me. 😢
Advert is spot on and reflects the reality of caring and supporting someone living with Alzheimer's. Well done for bringing peoples attention to this hideous disease...
This was exactly how it felt with both my grandparents (and a great grandparent) all of whom I lost due to this disease. And it’s like how we felt about cancer 50 years ago. It is a death sentence. My nan watched her mother go due to the disease and told me if I go that way please kill me off… and unfortunately because euthanasia isn’t legalised in the UK, she ended up going the same way, once the life and soul of the party and centrepiece of our family, became a scared, lonely bag of bones in constant pain with her arthritis and not understanding why. Dementia took her quick, thank god. Due to lack of care available because of Covid. But if she could have gone 6 months earlier, with her friends and family around her like she wished, it would have been a better end to an amazing life than the one she got. The care in my experience for this disease is non-existent if you’re poor, looking for specialist care in a home was £900+ per week. For most of us it is, unfortunately, a death sentence. And one of the worst possible ways to go. We need to do more to help these people and their families. My nan passed away 3 years ago and I’m crying as I write this because it still hurts.
We're so sorry to hear this. Please know that we are here if you need someone to talk to. 💙
Exactly how are you promoting yourselves as a visionary leader, your advert has stimulated somebody to make the comment below "if the point is to badge anyone living with Alzheimer's as the walking dead, then I agree" People with dementia are very much alive and this advert is causing distress and is doing nothing to change the dreadful statistic that people under the age of 65 have a 7 times higher risk of suicide after a diagnosis of dementia in comparison to their peers.
This is far too close to home for comfort actually hurts my soul living through this
The advert is so wrong we lost our mum 3months ago and never did it look like she was dying every day 😢
Hi Kim!
We're so sorry to hear about your Mum, and for the distress this advert has caused.
Our Support Line Team are on hand if you would like to talk through your concerns in more detail. Please do give us a call 0333 150 3456.
Jesus! Well that advert hit the point!
Jesus would have a lot to say about it. The Bible says that it's appointed unto man to die once, and after that the judgement. Not bit by bit.
My mum hasn't been diagnosed with dementia but is due to be assessed in a couple of months. We are 99% sure she has it though because her shorr term memory isn't there anymore. I found this video very depressing and doesn't seem to try and highlight and potential progress in finding drugs or ways to combat it. The only thing this video has achieved is to make me feel depressed and like theres no hope for her anymore and that she's now just a husk of a person.
Hi Stuart. We're sorry to hear that our advert has caused upset. Our Dementia Support Line team are here for you if you need them. You can reach them on 0333 150 3456 or if you would like one of our Dementia Advisers to contact you to discuss, please DM us your details and we’ll be in touch as soon as we can.
@alzheimerssociety My dad told me mum saw this advert on itv yesterday. It upset them both and mum asked dad if that would eventually happen to her. He tried reassuring her but said she was visibly upset by this advert. He said he went outside to cry as he suffers from depression. I don't know what point your trying to prove with this advert. If it's to put distress and upset into people you've succeeded. Several comments on here disapprove of this advert being aired but you heartless ghouls did it anyway.
Hi Stuart, We're sorry to hear that our advert has caused upset. Our Dementia Support Line team are here for you if you need them. You can reach them on 0333 150 3456 or if you would like one of our Dementia Advisers to contact you to discuss, please DM us your details and we’ll be in touch as soon as we can.
“You die again and again and again”. Could have been put in a more sensitive, less brutal way. It is quite literally untrue!
Great piece of storytelling. So powerful!
It was. Fictitious story telling, too. Very well mad. And totally untrue and off centre. Deliberately dramatic - and of course, it worked! Look at the response here!
I am disgusted at this advert. People with dementia can live well and are not the walking dead. This is the worst portrayal of Dementia I have ever seen and you should be ashamed of yourselves in promoting more negative stigma. Where is the peoples dignity and personhood? 😢. Imagine how you are making people with dementia feel watching this. It's more like hate speech than dementia support and awareness. Disgusting!
My grandmother has dementia (Alzheimer’s) & was diagnosed in 2021. I have watched her old self ‘die’ in so many ways over these last couple of years. The person I see in front of me is completely unrecognisable to myself, my family, and her friends. She was once filled with such happiness, was fiercely independent & loved life. Now she is a wreck of paranoid delusions, requires 24/7 care because her brain has forgotten to do basic everyday functions, and she is full of anger & loneliness because she doesn’t understand what is going on, no matter how many times we hold her hand, hug her, comfort her, tell her she’s OK.
Having been by her side everyday for the last 10 years & seeing the symptoms develop, I can only tell you that you can ‘live well with dementia’ in the early stage, but once the middle stage is reached, it becomes a living nightmare for everyone involved, no less for my poor grandmother who has to suffer through this every waking second of her life until her body finally gives up. At this point, there is no ‘living well with dementia’. I wish I was wrong 😢
virtue signalling at its best
How does this advert give anyone who has dementia hope for their future, when you are telling them their family/carers will just see them as dying over and over and over again? Was your aim to dehumanise people with dementia and make them feel like a useless burden? Because that's what you've done in relation to my Mum... Thanks for making her feel worthless and like she might as well not be here anymore!...
I see what you were trying to do with this ad but it has been executed so poorly. It’s extremely offensive. Please remove it.
I really dislike this advert. I’ve lost bits of my mum, she has lost bits of herself - but the phrase “she died again when “….. I think Is horrible
My mum is not dead !
I hate this advert. It is so incredibly negative and intentionally negative. There are some strategies that older people can learn in the early stages of the disease, which help them to retain a certain amount of independence. I know this because my sister has had it for three years and still enjoys company and conversations - even if the family stories do repeat themselves over and over again
😢
Please remove this advert! This is incredibly distressing for those suffering with Alzheimer's. Whilst this advert does highlight the impact of the disease, it also highlights the impending doom for those who suffer from Alzheimer's. For those of us with family members suffering from the disease, it is clear that our loved ones are not dead. We continue to love and support them as if they were alive (which they very much are). To brand Alzheimer's patients as the walking dead is dehumanising, insensitive and ignorant. What a hopeless and poorly executed ad.
...if the point is to badge anyone living with Alzheimer's as the walking dead, then I agree